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  • File : 1249615645.jpg-(128 KB, 598x575, busstop.jpg)
    128 KB Meeting People Anonymous 08/06/09(Thu)23:27 No.5363656  
    So what if some pskyer sneezed while explaining murphy's law to a guardsman and caused all the warp and webways and inertialess drives and propellant bladders in the galaxy to stop working and the only way to travel anywhere was on the bus. What kind of conversations would happen while waiting at the bus stop?
    >> Anonymous 08/06/09(Thu)23:31 No.5363692
         File1249615880.jpg-(67 KB, 420x360, Magic-School-Bus.jpg)
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    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/06/09(Thu)23:31 No.5363694
    The paladin falls.
    >> Anonymous 08/06/09(Thu)23:31 No.5363695
    >> Anonymous 08/06/09(Thu)23:33 No.5363710
    People will take chances, make mistakes, and GET MESSY!
    >> Anonymous 08/06/09(Thu)23:33 No.5363719
    Is that eldar trying to hit on that marine in korean? Oh, love drama....
    >> Anonymous 08/06/09(Thu)23:35 No.5363736
         File1249616119.jpg-(73 KB, 604x453, the steaks were high.jpg)
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    Talk about how awesome Cow Marines and their bovine animal companions are.
    >> That one Techpriest 08/06/09(Thu)23:36 No.5363744
    [ Thread is now about 40k bus stop RP. ]

    " When will the Vehicle and its Machine Spirit arrive?"
    >> Anonymous 08/06/09(Thu)23:36 No.5363749
         File1249616202.gif-(11 KB, 196x202, msfriz.gif)
    11 KB
    counts as epic level psyker navigator or something
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/06/09(Thu)23:39 No.5363790
    Waiting for Emprah

    the play.
    >> That one Techpriest 08/06/09(Thu)23:41 No.5363806

    Hm...scans would indicate she is a rare Astropath of great enough skill not to have lost her eyes, or much of anything really.
    >> Anonymous 08/06/09(Thu)23:41 No.5363811

    *Technicolor school bus comes lurching to a halt*
    *door opens, spilling out thick, dark smoke*
    A voice inside says-
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/06/09(Thu)23:42 No.5363818
         File1249616558.jpg-(3 KB, 108x127, batman shock.jpg)
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    >> Psyker 08/06/09(Thu)23:43 No.5363830
    *Opens brown bag*
    "Aww man, these aren't the lunchables I like."
    >> Anonymous 08/06/09(Thu)23:43 No.5363831
    Except her sanity, however no records exist of her sanity in the first place.
    >> Anonymous 08/06/09(Thu)23:46 No.5363868

    Tau female hands him a glass.

    "It's fresh."
    >> Anonymous 08/06/09(Thu)23:55 No.5363944
    Uneasy guardsmen dwarfed as he sits next too a hulking chaos space marine.

    Guardsmen (nervously): how bout these eye of terror buses huh? ... they never seem to be on time.

    Chaos marine (staring straight ahead): ...

    Guardsmen, fidgets around nervously. CM continues staring forward from behind the lenses on his helmet.

    guardsmen: So, uh ... wh - what do you do, ... for a living?

    CM leaps up.


    Cuts bus stop booth in half. Stands there heaving chainsword in hand. The guardsmen sits in his own waste on the floor looking up at the CM in utter terror, he's lost years off his life.

    CM: what about you?
    >> Anonymous 08/06/09(Thu)23:57 No.5363959
    "If I find the Psyker who did this, I'm going to shove my chainsword so far up his ass he's going to be spitting chain links for a century."
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 08/06/09(Thu)23:57 No.5363964
         File1249617470.jpg-(10 KB, 256x307, Nicholas Cage Sad.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:00 No.5363983

    Retains zero sanity, upon navigation believes she takes the passengers, who appear to her as children, upon magical learning adventures... Other than that she's completely normal >.>
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:03 No.5364006
    Could be worse. Could have been a Vespid.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:07 No.5364033
    I'm going to eat you.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:07 No.5364038
    One of the more funny posts out there.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:10 No.5364070
    That Eldar bitch wouldn't take the bus because her parents are rich.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:13 No.5364088
    too bad they can't reach her now that the webway is unexistant.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:13 No.5364090
         File1249618386.jpg-(174 KB, 564x708, FOHRTEE_KHAY.jpg)
    174 KB
    They are entertained by impromptu puppet shows

    It sounds like this.

    "You know I'm not entirely enthralled by these puppets."

    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:14 No.5364099
    So now she has to take the bus with all the normal inferior people.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:15 No.5364112
    That Eldar is kinda cute. Source on OP's image?
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:19 No.5364139
    (A Tau Fire Warrior and a Slaaneshi Cultist are sitting at the bus stop.)

    Tau: Want to become part of the greater good with us?
    Cultist: I will rape your face.
    Tau: That doesn't sound pleasant.
    Cultist: It won't be.

    (Awkward silence. Doomrider goes by.)
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:19 No.5364142
         File1249618780.jpg-(144 KB, 566x640, 1245132139208.jpg)
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    This really better not end up as a fetish but it's threatening to
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:24 No.5364186

    screams COCAINE!!
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:27 No.5364216
    >Doomrider goes by
    .....vvvvvvvvvv vvrroooooo vvvv putt putt PUTT PUTTT VRROOOMMM MMMMmmmmmmm putt vvvooo vvv.....

    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:30 No.5364241
    A Dreanought and a Guardsman stand waiting for the bus...

    G: So, um...do you just grab a seat, or...

    D: Negative. I may only use those buses which the Emperor, in his beneficence, has provided with handicapped access.

    The Guardsman then notices that what he took to be an Ultramarines logo on the shoulder is in fact a sick figure in a wheelchair.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:32 No.5364256
    >>5364139 Doomrider goes by.
    Every 40K novel should at some point contain that line for no reason at all.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:34 No.5364276
    "Oy Boss, why iz da Bus alwa's so late?"

    "Cause da stinkin' weirdboy drivin' da fing won' paint it red as iz proper."
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:39 No.5364324
         File1249619961.jpg-(24 KB, 180x180, wheelchair_sign.jpg)
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    Someone needs to shoop this onto an ultramarines dread. Drawfags get on this.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:41 No.5364343
    But it's yellow so it's flash... right? Where the damn colour chart?
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:42 No.5364361
    two guardsmen stand at the bus stop.

    GM 1: Man there was this ork on the bus yesterday and he was all drunk and he just started pissing on the floor of the bus...

    GM 2: Haha

    GM 1: it's like what the fuck ya stupid bastard! No wonder the fucking bus stinks! Right?

    GM 2 doesn't respond GM1 continues.

    GM 1 (shaking his head): man i fucking hate orks!

    GM 1 notices GM 2's expression and grimaces as the realization hits him.

    GM1: there's one behind me isn't there?

    Ork: whatchu say humie!?
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:43 No.5364369

    i lol'd
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:52 No.5364448
    here's your bus pass miss.

    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)00:54 No.5364470
    The other day I saw Kharn help an old Grancron who had too many groceries for her old metal bones to manage get off the bus and carry them to her appartment tomb.

    What a swell guy.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:06 No.5364609
    2 necrons sit at the bus stop.

    N1: ...

    N2: ...
    >> Subprossesor HK-47 08/07/09(Fri)01:12 No.5364672
    I can see a stupid hive-fag hit on a necron

    Hivefag: SO WHERE YA FROM?

    N: ....

    Hivefag: OH WOW HARD TO GET?

    N: ...


    Necron proceeds to choke and consume the lifeforce from the Hive-scum.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:16 No.5364708
    the scary marines never use the buses,yet they are always on time though...
    >> Lee 08/07/09(Fri)01:20 No.5364739
    Fuck yeah, scary marines. It has been a while since Ive heard from those guys. My favorite tg chapter.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:20 No.5364743
    Kharn, let me tell you about that Kharn. Makes out like he's all tough and such, and he is, he is, I'll tell you. But the other day when he randomly destroyed a bunch of road raging drivers, I saw that fellow helping a group of Tau fire warrior boy scouts across the crosswalk.

    That Kharn, what a swell guy.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:21 No.5364752
    Commissar walks up to bus stop, Cultist pats bench.

    Cultist: Hyuu kan seet hwere.

    Commissar:No!...It stinks of heresy!
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:23 No.5364771
    A guardsman sits down at the bench. He hears a squish, and looks down. The remains of a sandwich are stuck to his bottom.

    G: Oh man, shit, I'm so sorry-

    A yellow power armor helmet swings slowly to look at him.

    "MY MOTHER MADE THAT." The angry marine says.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:25 No.5364782
    Eldar sits on bus, glances to his side, notices Dark Eldar awkwardly staring back.

    Eldar: "Soooo...hows that whole RAPE FOR THE RAPE GOD gig working out?"

    DE: "Meh, it seemed like fun at first, but it really gets tiring you know."

    E: "Tell me about it, I got kicked out of the Warp Spider aspect school on my craftworld, now I'm stuck as a latrine aspect janitor"
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:25 No.5364786
    We're forgetting an important question.

    Who would drive the buses?
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:26 No.5364802
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:27 No.5364805

    >> Guardsman Ted 08/07/09(Fri)01:27 No.5364808
    >> MonkeyToho 08/07/09(Fri)01:29 No.5364826
    rolled 56 = 56


    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:30 No.5364827
         File1249623028.jpg-(389 KB, 1296x1000, 1240343132669.jpg)
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    Hello good sir, If i could have a moment of your time, it'll only be a minute. Could i interest you in a pamphlet describing the fundamentals of the greater good, You don't necessarily have to give up your current beliefs and all types from all walks of life are accepted, no questions asked. For the greater good and have a GREAT day, and GOOD day.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:30 No.5364831
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:31 No.5364839

    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:31 No.5364844
    Commissar Yarrick and Warboss Ghazgul sitting at a bus stop.

    Commissar Yarrick: Stupid greenskin scum, I do not see why I must use the same busing system as you.

    Ghazgul: Oi, shut it hummie! Ya' fink I enjoyz dis eitha'?! I used ta' ride on da' backs of squiggothz wit' all da' boys shoutin' "WAAAGGHHHH!" all da' day! Nows I stuck 'ere wit a whiny pink-skin runt wit' a bad eye.

    Commissar Yarrick: A "whinny pink skin runt" who kicked your ass.

    Ghazgul: Wha' was dat' humie? *goes face to face with Yarrick*

    Commissar Yarrick: You heard me you runty, smelly, green skin. *stares right back*

    *a few moments of silence past with the two eternal foes staring each other down.*

    Commisar Yarrick: Kiss me you fool! They're will be no better time.

    Ghazgul: I waz wunderin' when ya'd say dat!

    *suddenly Doomrider runs by, followed by Aquaman*

    Doomrider: cccccccooooOOOOOOAAAIIINNNNNeeeeeeeeee!

    Aquaman: wwwwwhhhhAAAAALLLLLLLeeeeesssss!
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:37 No.5364883
    *Culexus Assassin takes a seat at the bus stop*
    *Necron Pariah arrives later, takes a seat next to him*

    Culexus: "Fuck..."
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:37 No.5364886
    "tactical genius! HAHAHAHA!"
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:41 No.5364912

    Culexus Assassin: "Not this guy again...he's going to talk and stare and stare and talk some more and try to give me pamphlets..." *Tries to hide self behind newspaper.*
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:42 No.5364930

    Creed should drive. He could probably outflank and outdrive the red lights and police.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:43 No.5364935
    *Flayed One gets on bus*
    *Creed squints and points at the sign 'Necrons are to sit at the back of all public transportation vehicles'*

    *Flayed One sighs and shuffles to the back while everyone on the bus squints at him*
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:44 No.5364947
    "Wow, a Chimera for a bus! And it managed to get here on time even with all this heavy traffic!"
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:45 No.5364953
    guardsman grabs smoke pats pockets looking for a lighter.

    GM: shit! anybody gotta light.

    looks up and see he his now sitting with several sisters of battle who are scowling at him.

    GM: guess that was a stupid question, sister always have a light. could you light me up sister.

    SOB: No.

    GM: what? why not? the 3 of you have like 20 flamers.

    SOB: read the pack! smoking may cause heresy.

    there is a few seconds of silence before the guardsman mutters out around his unlite smoke.


    the sisters commense burning the guardsman, telling the arbites that he was a heretic.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:45 No.5364954
    You mean like a Negron?
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:46 No.5364968

    "But there was so much traffic...for you to get here so quickly would take some kind of tactical ge--
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:47 No.5364972
    marines trying to keep an undead brother down
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:47 No.5364978
    "We don't let Chaos Lords on anymore."
    "Metal boxes. 'Nuff said."
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:49 No.5365002
         File1249624195.jpg-(18 KB, 450x337, Crazy Taxi logo.jpg)
    18 KB
    That said, Creed would make an EXCELLENT taxi driver.

    "I need to get to the Basilica of the Emperor Ascendant, and FAST--wait, aren't you...?"

    "Yep. It isn't commanding Cadian forces, but it pays the bills. Need to get there really fast, you say? I know a shortcut."

    "Take it! Please!"

    "Okay, son...buckle your safety belt. Heh heh heh..."

    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)01:51 No.5365015
    >> No Man 08/07/09(Fri)01:53 No.5365029

    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)02:00 No.5365103
    Ork: Iz a tagze driva onze. but dey fir'd me cuz i paintz da durn ting red.


    Ork: nope. paint.

    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)02:02 No.5365119
         File1249624969.jpg-(691 KB, 900x900, 1234382865476.jpg)
    691 KB
    Who steals a bench?! I mean... SON OF A BITCH! I hate Chem-Dogs!
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)02:03 No.5365121
    an old pervert of a Farseer, using his power of foresight, strategically sits around the bus, knowing when it will become crowded and a woman's bosom will be pressed against his head.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)02:14 No.5365216
    I refuse to ride in a....in A METAL BOX!
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 08/07/09(Fri)02:16 No.5365237
    Am I the only one that thinks the creed meme would make an awesome Cadian sitcom like Hogans Heroes?

    " Colonel I swear I JUST parked the Chimera here!"
    " For a Chimera to dissapear like this you'd need some kind of Tactical ge-... CREEEEEEEEEEEED!"

    Creed stands there with a silly smile and Shrugs. Cue theme and credits.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)02:18 No.5365253

    Sure he'd smoke cigars and wear haiwian shirts and go bowling with papa nurgle and be played by john goodman.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)02:20 No.5365265
    "That's Our Creed"
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)02:27 No.5365322
    *Creed bus and Doomrider both pull up at a red light*

    *Creed and Doomrider both turn and slowly look at each other, rev engines*
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)02:32 No.5365369
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)02:33 No.5365382
    *A Guardsman and a Space marine sitting next to each other*

    GM: bus is late again I see...

    SM: Yeah.

    GM: heheh...so.....what is your favorite weapon?

    SM: ..........

    GM: ?


    *SM fires a multilaser up in the air*

    GM: *mumbles* for fuck sake..........oh looke the bus arrived!

    *bus has several multilasers all over it including on the wheels*

    GM: oh for the love of.......

    *several passengers exit all wielding Multilasers*

    passengers: WOOH! YEAH *starts firing their multilasers* YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!


    C.S. Goto - Magic Warp Bus
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 08/07/09(Fri)02:33 No.5365388
    A Venerable dreadnaught and a Chaos Space marines are riding together.

    Dreadnaught turns to the CSM: I think we've meet a long time back.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)02:33 No.5365389
    How lucky! A seat! You sit down.
    you feel something probing against your bum

    It's not a seat, it was a Dark Eldar mandrake in disguise
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)02:39 No.5365440
    Oh, those wacky mandrake and their surprise gay sexings.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)02:56 No.5365577
    How could a Dark Eldar have gotten into a freaking seat! It would take some sort of Tactical Gen-
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)02:58 No.5365588
    You sir are a mad genius.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 08/07/09(Fri)02:59 No.5365592
    Thats Our Creed will be Right back!
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)03:05 No.5365638
    *Cadian Guardsman searches for a lighter, realizes he doesn't have one, speaks up and asks if anyone has a light.*

    Death Korps of Krieg Guardsman with Gas-Mask: Those things are bad for your lungs y'know.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)03:13 No.5365692
    This would be a moderately good series.

    Probably fit for YouTube.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)03:30 No.5365805
    Fuck, we need to get someone on this.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)03:37 No.5365847
    Each episode would be a robot-chicken-esque smattering of clips from buss stops and within the bus itself.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)06:01 No.5366652
    Eldar: so-
    S marine: la la la can't hear your heresy la la la
    Eldar: . . .
    SM: . . .
    Eldar: tha-
    SM: LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA !!!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)07:53 No.5367160
    this thread is made of win
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)07:58 No.5367176
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    I can only imagine how pissed off Warp Spiders would get.....
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)08:29 No.5367293
    Harlequins to.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)08:32 No.5367304
    At least Harlequins move around physically most of the time, Warp Spiders are like hyperactive 13 year olds on crack who rely on their warp jumping capabilities to move as fast as they want.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)08:38 No.5367333
    Shit needs to be archived.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)09:22 No.5367482
    Thanks /tg/. This really made my morning. :D

    This one's my favorite.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)09:26 No.5367497
    Am I the only one picturing the bus as a stretched Chimera with windows?
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)09:27 No.5367500
    Reasonable marine: "now, if you could all please move to the back of the bus, there'll be room for all of us"

    Grumbling IG squad member: "fucking boyscout, think they are all hot shit"

    Reasonable marine sighing and pulling out his bolter: "now, if you could all please move to the back of the bus, I'll no longer see my self needed to execute every last one of you for not following the Emperor, praise be his name, sacred laws, which includes, moving to the back of the bus so that all off us can get to the battlefield in one go"
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)10:34 No.5367784
    (The Chimera-bus finally comes to a screeching stop in front of the bus stop. A guardsman squad led by a commissar gets up and lines up in queue to get in.
    A small group of five Ork Nobz who were also waiting for the bus rush up in front of the queue.)

    Nob 1- Oi 'umies, stop muckin about, an get in da trukk!

    Guardsman 1 (annoyed but intimidated by the brute)- You filthy xenos better wait in line like the rest of us...

    Nob (approaches guardsman, towering above him)- You git be'er watch dat umie mouth o'yours, else you get stomped pro'er good... (shoves guardsman)

    (The guardsman stutters something, then chickens out and steps aside to let the Nobs get in. Promptly an ominous ka-chunk sound is heard from the direction of the commissar. The guardsman who let the orks pass in first gets his head blown off two seconds later)

    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)11:25 No.5368018
    bumping awesomeness
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)11:47 No.5368128
    IG conscript: Hey, uh, mate. Since you know have that whole collective knowledge going and shit, can you give me a hand with this essay on, uh, Tau hereticism?

    Genestealer: Fuck off. You've asked us a hundred times.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)12:05 No.5368226
    IG: So....uh.... what chapter are you from?

    SW: The Wolf Wolves.

    IG: Huh?

    SW: The Wolf Wolves, The Wolf Wolves!

    IG: I don't think I've heard of them...

    SW: You've never wolfed of The Wolf Wolves?! Unwolfable!

    IG: Uh....

    SW2: Wolf! Is the wolf wolf again?

    SW: Wolf. Wolf, wolf what? This wolf has never wolfed of The Wolf Wolves!

    SW2: Unwolfable!
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)12:18 No.5368310

    Someone archive this shit.
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)14:24 No.5369335
    >> Anonymous 08/07/09(Fri)15:48 No.5369962
    Something just popped in my mind.

    How would it be if the disco marines would take the bus?

    Instant pimping, baby.

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