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  • File : 1249361186.jpg-(75 KB, 400x408, MM35_PG98.jpg)
    75 KB Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)00:46 No.5331632  
    My PC got the attention of a bound Earth Elemental the last few sessions. It seems to have taken a liking to me, leaving little gemstones by my bed and giving me gold nuggets whenever I go into town to buy supplies.

    This session, it left me behind a chocolate covered ruby in the shape of a heart.

    What the hell do I do in reply, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)00:47 No.5331648
         File1249361278.jpg-(25 KB, 400x300, what-the-fuck-cat.jpg)
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    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 08/04/09(Tue)00:48 No.5331649
    Where did it get the chocolate?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)00:48 No.5331651
    Make it your bride, for nothing holds stronger than a love made of stone.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)00:48 No.5331659
    Stone shape. Stone to flesh. Sexy fun time!
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)00:49 No.5331671
    You'll never have to worry about him being hard, OP.
    >> Bomb Queen Fan 08/04/09(Tue)00:49 No.5331672
    Have it shape itself into a humanoid form of your desired gender.
    Buy a scroll of Stone to flesh.
    Fuck it.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)00:50 No.5331677
    The half elemental templates exist for a reason, dammit. This is why.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 08/04/09(Tue)00:50 No.5331678
    Stone shape and stone to flesh.
    >> OP 08/04/09(Tue)00:50 No.5331687
    I'm just tossing this out here, but are there answers that don't involve a) magic and b) sex?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)00:51 No.5331693
    >>5331651
    >>5331659
    >>5331672
    >>5331678

    and that is where you came from my little Dwarf son
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)00:51 No.5331696
    >>5331687
    Nope.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)00:51 No.5331698
    >>5331687
    what are you...gay?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)00:52 No.5331703
    >>5331693

    This makes so much sense!
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)00:52 No.5331708
    >>5331659

    This.

    Or, you know, humor RP. Both works.
    >> Bomb Queen Fan 08/04/09(Tue)00:52 No.5331713
    >>5331687

    You some sort of commie?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)00:53 No.5331718
    >>5331698

    If OP was gay, he'd be thrilled. Look at the size of the ridges on that thing.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)00:53 No.5331724
    >>5331687
    >I'm just tossing this out here, but are there answers that don't involve a) magic and b) sex?

    What, and break a poor earth elemental's heart? You monster!
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)00:54 No.5331734
         File1249361643.jpg-(15 KB, 300x375, fry-see-what-you-did-there-sca(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)00:54 No.5331735
    half-earth elemental
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)00:58 No.5331790
    >>5331687
    You'll need magic of some sort to deal with it meaningfully, and it'd be a real dick move to just ignore its attempts at wooing you. You need to at least find a way to let it down easy, and for that you need enough magic to manage face-to-face communication.

    Either way, I hope you have a damn good reason for turning down the advances of something that can keep you in riches permanently and not only has magical abilities but can essentially assume any form you wish it to. Otherwise that's some huge-ass speciesism you've got goin' on.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)00:59 No.5331802
    Find it and tell it you wish to sit with it, get to know it.

    Work out it's goals, it's aspirations. If it is no deeper than 'love you' then tell it that you have quests to do and that you cannot split your mind right now, but you want to continue to bond with it and see if anything grows (no pun intended).

    In any case, you have a potential ally here if not more. It may not be able to have sexual relations with you, but it is possible for it to love you platonically. If this is the case, just treat it like a little sister. Please, thank you, lots of hugs and the occasional 'love you'.
    >> Bomb Queen Fan 08/04/09(Tue)01:01 No.5331822
    Ok...serious answer from me.

    Plant some sort of flora. No...seriously. Plant a tree, or maybe a small patch of nice smelling flowers. Use it not only to show your respect and appreciation for Mother Earth, but also because if the elemental identifies more with the female gender, you'll have a nice bouquet to present to "her".

    If it identifies more as male, I'd say plant a tree. Again, out of respect for Mother Earth, but also to symbolize the Elemental's strength and stability. Just as "he" is not moved unless "he" wants to be, nor shall your tree be moved.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:05 No.5331895
    >>5331802
    Sensitive gentleman detected.
    You might want to escape the internet while you still have your pure heart unscarred, good sir.

    >>5331678
    >>5331672
    >>5331659
    This a million times.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:07 No.5331919
    Kill it with fire.
    As it is made of dirt and rock this will involve a long meticulous plan to lure it to the brink of a volcano just before tipping it in.
    Extra points if its dressed as the bride at your romantic volcano-side wedding before its untimely demise.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:08 No.5331934
    Be very careful. It is an elemental. It is alien in nature and does not think like you do.

    It may be preparing you for some purpose. You may not enjoy this purpose.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:08 No.5331939
         File1249362530.jpg-(85 KB, 416x322, 1182488248066.jpg)
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    >>5331919
    this this this this this this this
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:12 No.5331992
    >>5331919
    Even more bonus points if when it returns as a jaded elemental wraith you convince it to take you back (I mean who wouldnt youre just that awesome) and again set up a romantic wedding.
    This time it's portal side and you tip it (now an undead) into the positive energy plane.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:14 No.5332013
    >>5331822

    So, if its a male, you...give it wood?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:16 No.5332033
    >>5332013
    I'm sti ll lolling. You... you bastard.. (I hate puns so much right now)
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:19 No.5332068
    >>5331822
    >>5331802
    these
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 08/04/09(Tue)01:19 No.5332069
    >>5331992
    >jaded

    GIIIIIIHIHIHIHHIHI
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:22 No.5332111
    >>5331802

    Treat it like a little sister? Sir, do you know what board you are on? That shit doesn't FLY here, son! We're suppose to be WORK SAFE, dude!

    You want /b/, /h/, or hell, possibly /d/ for you. Man, it's perverts like you that make us look bad. I mean, those guys about wanted OP to just rock it's world, but you? You're exactly the kind of person I come here to avoid.

    Little Sister? You make me sick.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:25 No.5332141
    >>5332111
    Bravo good sir. Agreement all around.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:26 No.5332160
    >>5332111

    Fine. I'll take my little sister and go.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 08/04/09(Tue)01:27 No.5332172
    >>5332111
    I agree with you, it's people like him who ruin this board, coming here with schist like that. Letting ideas like that take root in the bedrock of our moral groundings just opens agate to disaster!

    ...
    PfffffffffffGIIIIIIIIIIIIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:30 No.5332199
         File1249363842.jpg-(24 KB, 250x214, dejected-arrr.jpg)
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    >>5332160

    Aww.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:33 No.5332227
    >>5331632
    >What the hell do I do in reply, /tg/?

    Well, what size is it? An Earth Elemental has an average INT of 4-6, according to the SRD, unless you're talking really huge/old ones. You're going to have to be very simplistic in dealing with the thing, as cross-species communication is tricky and pissing it off isn't going to do you any favors.

    If you can boost its INT and/or get a spell cast on you to communicate with it telekinetically (given that earth elementals CAN speak Terran, but don't actually want to at any point in time), perhaps have a little quasi-date or something and see what's up with it. Who knows? You might wind up liking it, for all its simple charms.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:34 No.5332230
    >>5332199
    >>5332172
    >>5332160
    >>5332141
    >>5332111
    This thread seems to have gone horribly off course...
    >> teka 08/04/09(Tue)01:35 No.5332245
    would depend on how much you can communicate with it.

    Can you understand the skull-rending crash of rock on rock that might be an Earth Elemental's native tongue? or can it tone that down a bit? Can it properly understand you, outside of gestures for "Go there, smash troll"?

    if we have communication, then we can get to the heart of the matter. The rocky, perhaps molten or crystalline heart of the matter, in this case.

    then you can get with >>5331802

    Some suggestions.. can you do anything nice for an Elemental, if their mind (for lack of better term) has a subjective idea of what a nice thing is?

    No, i don't mean shape stone+stone to flesh.

    Lets try gifts in return? get your hands on a mineral sample that only comes from a far-off land.. (ask a wizard.. freakin wizards, always getting around) and offer up this choice bit of shine as a snack or personal decoration, however Tall, Dark and Rocky wants to play it.

    Be quick to praise a task done well, though try to keep it honest. This could be a heartfelt thanks with great rejoicing from a quiet village saved from a dangerous flood, or a quick smile and friendly slap on a stony shoulder before leaping back into the fray.

    and oh god be careful about pissing it off.. unless you want your every night filled with terrors about being swallowed by the very earth.. until it happens.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 08/04/09(Tue)01:35 No.5332246
    >>5332230
    That's fine, isn't it?

    GIIIIIIIIIIHIHIHIHIHIHI
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:38 No.5332276
    Are you kidding me? Be the little girl. It's a goddamn earth elemental what do you think you can do against it?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:40 No.5332298
    Also, perhaps the most important thing you should do is keep /tg/ updated with your exploits. Some of us love a good love story....especially involving non traditional couplings.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:42 No.5332314
    Out of curiosity, what class/race are you, OP?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:43 No.5332323
    It seems to understand that people like gifts, it also understands that people like chocolate and seems to indicate it also understands the symbolism of the heart.

    This is its minimal intelligence and that's already pretty damn smart. If it does not understand your tongue, it might well understand drawings in the sand or hand gestures.

    All in all it seems to have human emotions or is capable of misrepresenting its emotions as human. Either way, direct communication between you and it is desired, for if it goes sour it might mean more trouble than not dealing with it directly.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:48 No.5332374
    Fall in love. He can be your rock.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:49 No.5332379
    Give the poor thing a hug. All it wants is your love, man! Recognize the humble yet ceaseless devotion of a being that can't for the life of it figure out how to pour its heart out to you, yet desperately wants to. It has crossed boundaries of species, organics, and even magic just to express how much you mean to it. THAT is love.

    And you go "what should I do in reply?" What the hell, man?! LET THE LOVE FLOW!
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:50 No.5332390
    >>5332323

    Dude. Level up, spend one Skill Point on Language: Terran, and ask it where the hell this is all going.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 08/04/09(Tue)01:50 No.5332394
    >>5332379
    Fuck. Yes.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:50 No.5332395
    >treat it like a little sister

    am I the only one imagining a little brown moe girl in a sundress? her hair and nails are made of gemstone.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:52 No.5332406
    >>5332395
    not any more, little brown girls are the best.
    >> Gnollbard !aDIap4MeRg 08/04/09(Tue)01:52 No.5332412
    >>5332395
    Not any more you're not!
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:53 No.5332420
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    Isn't it funny how, in this case, "heart of stone" has a completely different meaning?

    d'aaaaaaw
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:54 No.5332433
    I love this kinda thread.

    First I determine it's sentience level.
    If it's a puppy level intellect, then it merely wants attention and affection.It can be easily given, since it's just the Cutest, Wootest Widdle Giant Earth Elemental! Oh yes it IS!

    If it's a higher level intellect interested in having a personal relationship, then it becomes a simple one or two choice. One, it is platonic love, and then it goes back to puppy level 'attention and affection'.If it's intimate; then you sit down and have a chat.

    You might find something you like.If you dont, then you can still be friends and part amiably.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:54 No.5332437
         File1249365292.jpg-(16 KB, 379x366, rapedwithstones.jpg)
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    Just draw this in the sand or something. Why do you want to break it's heart?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)01:57 No.5332470
    >>5332437

    dawwwwwwwwwwwww
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)02:00 No.5332490
    >>5332437
    I d'awwwed.
    And then I read the image name.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)02:03 No.5332528
    Is there a chance that someone is using it as a medium?
    >> Arcbound 08/04/09(Tue)02:03 No.5332534
    >>5332395
    I keep seeing it as the Little Sister from Bioshock.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)02:04 No.5332541
    >>5332490
    >And then I read the image name.

    Y'know, I'm pretty sure elementals don't reproduce that way. As long as you're pretty careful about how it learns to "express its affection," or you keep some serious emergency scrolls of "stone to flesh" around, you'll be fine.
    >> teka 08/04/09(Tue)02:05 No.5332547
         File1249365903.jpg-(128 KB, 796x600, heart of stone.jpg)
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    >>5332437
    d'aww- oh.. i see what you do there.
    but the underlying plan is still sound!

    the sand drawing bit, not the brutal rape with ragged crystals as a being beyond your understanding mindlessly 'apes' a grotesque parody of sentient organic behavior.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)02:08 No.5332578
    I still vote for stone shape/flesh to stone. Add in a rank or two in Terran language, since in humanoid form it shouldn't be as tough to talk. If nothing else, it gets the two of you communicating on equal ground. You probably won't use it for boning (at least not right away) - but hell, it'll be a nice campaign event regardless.

    The income from the gemstones and such should do more than cover the cost of the spells being cast for you if you aren't a caster yourself.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)02:09 No.5332581
    For all the talk of Stone to Flesh, let's not forget that Iron Body is also a viable option.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)02:13 No.5332620
    Your DM will never in his entire life expect you to dedicate time and energy into incorporating the earth elemental into the party/party support structure. If for no other reason, do it for this reason. It'll be one of those hilarious gaming stories that lives on for the ages.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)02:15 No.5332653
    >>5332620
    It will also be one of those stories that can make a room full of noisy gamers dead silent as your voice carries farther than you intended.

    And then you'll get to the little sister love bit...
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)02:22 No.5332713
    Pull a Noh. This thing has done wonderful things for you, you owe it something in return. Your quest from here on out? Make the elemental into serious awesome. Give it magic rings, weapons, and armor to eat. INT-boosters are a plus. A Helm of Telepathy is a must. See if it wants to join you in the world of the living. Woo it, as it's wooed you.

    This could be your crowning moment of awesome. LIVE IT.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)02:24 No.5332734
    Do you want to forever remember yourself as the guy who _didn't_ follow the earth elemental companionship plotpoint?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)02:27 No.5332764
    Also in a much much much later game you can play a earth genasi decedent of your union.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)02:28 No.5332779
    WHAT PART OF DIVINE HUMAN FORM DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND
    >> teka 08/04/09(Tue)02:40 No.5332868
         File1249368018.jpg-(196 KB, 858x952, 0041-1248244843974.jpg)
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    >>5332713
    build your loyal friend from a twisted up knot of natural energy and rock into a GOD?

    At least a minor god. godling. really impressive blocky guy.

    Something.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)02:47 No.5332918
    I'm fuck an Earthen girl.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)02:48 No.5332924
    I just asked one of my player's this exact question.

    His response: "Buy a chisel and do her hair."
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)02:54 No.5332964
    >>5331632
    So, this earth elemental is obviously into some kinky stuff. I recommended polymorphing yourself into an air elemental and set contingencies to go off whenever it would normally expire. Now you and your earth elemental go enjoy yourselves.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)03:01 No.5332998
    >>5332964
    "Hey baby, I'm gonna wind erode your stone spire."

    Talk about a BLOW job.
    >> teka 08/04/09(Tue)03:02 No.5333011
    >>5332998
    wow.
    thanks, Anon.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)03:10 No.5333065
    >>5332964

    He might consider that deeply insulting.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)03:16 No.5333105
    >>5332918
    ... And here I didn't save that terrain-women pictures.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)03:23 No.5333151
    Ok, Earth Elemental, that ones easy.

    But what if it was a FIRE ELEMENTAL?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)03:28 No.5333187
    >>5333151

    First thing's first: is she... hot?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)03:29 No.5333196
    >>5333187
    smoldering actually
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)03:30 No.5333204
         File1249371003.jpg-(42 KB, 310x400, GLARE.jpg)
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    >>5333187
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)03:33 No.5333238
    >>5333187
    Smoking
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)03:35 No.5333256
    >>5333187
    I know she left me with a burning sensation.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)03:36 No.5333264
    >>5333151
    >>5333187

    This reminds me of my trip to Schoolies a few years ago. My mates and I were halfway to the Sunshine Coast when we passed a still smouldering ruin that was once a combi-van. Half the road was closed and the firefighters were packing up. As we drove past I saw that the driver (obviously not taking it too well) was a total babe in a short denim skirt and polo shirt.

    As we passed her I shouted out the window at her, "You're so hot you're on FIRE!"

    I have never had a more murderous look shot at me, and I don't think I ever will. I'm thankful that the stop-go man waved us through at that moment.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)03:46 No.5333330
    >>5333256
    It burns when I pee! SHE GAVE ME AN ELEMENTAL STD!
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)03:50 No.5333359
    >>5331632
    look at that thing. don't fuckin piss it off!
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)03:51 No.5333362
    >>5333330
    Well... I know Earth Girls are easy...
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)03:55 No.5333393
    >>5333264

    ohwow.jpg
    >> Rogue Kitty 08/04/09(Tue)04:03 No.5333447
    >>5333362

    the puns, they burn.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)04:03 No.5333450
    Soooo... Human x Earth Elemental=Dwarf.
    Dwarf x Elf = Human.

    What other shocking species origins have we come up with?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)04:04 No.5333467
    >>5333450
    Dwarf + anvil = another dwarf.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)04:26 No.5333651
    >>5333447
    You thought you could get away with that one didn't you?

    Well I saw what you just did there.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)04:35 No.5333706
    Is it just me, or do Air Elemental Girls just seem kinda... flighty?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)04:36 No.5333717
    >>5333706
    All the ones I've met were total air-heads.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)04:36 No.5333718
    I guess Ops GM is still better than our GM.

    last time we played we all got raped by men with long beards and had to eat our own shit..
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)04:38 No.5333729
    >>5333718

    sounds like a wonderful time was had by all
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)04:49 No.5333801
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    Okay, this one's going to be a little different than some of what other people've been posting but hear me out here. That thing is bad news. Think it's got a crush now? It'll put the crush on you whether you like the thing or not.

    Earth Elementals have always been known for their propensity to bring riches. But this is a danger in and of itself. No, a good man would do the following: Seek out a level 5 Wizard. Have him place circles of planar bindings, reinforced with dimensional anchors and a calling diagram of some sort to make the trap more impenetrable. Then kill it. Harvest what you will of it, but tell noone besides those who must know.

    Sic Semper Xenos.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)05:01 No.5333868
    >>5333801
    Oh wow.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)05:02 No.5333874
    >>5333362
    You think Earth Girls are easy?
    You know how easy it is to get a Water Girl wet?
    >> Rogue Kitty 08/04/09(Tue)05:09 No.5333918
         File1249376983.jpg-(54 KB, 500x364, 1243709918889.jpg)
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    >>5333874
    >You know how easy it is to get a Water Girl wet?

    "Yes, yes I do."
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)05:11 No.5333937
    >>5333918
    ... NO! BAD ROGUE KITTY! THAT'S A VERY BAD KITTY!
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)05:14 No.5333956
    >>5333874

    I hear that when a water and a fire elemental are left to their own devices together things tend to get steamy.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)05:19 No.5333996
    Make it a mount
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)05:23 No.5334026
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    The puns... someone... please help...
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)05:23 No.5334029
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    >>5333956
    Unsettled sexual tensions seem to always boil over.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)05:25 No.5334046
    I once went on a date with an Air Girl... The whole date was a blow-out.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)05:27 No.5334058
         File1249378020.jpg-(68 KB, 525x394, yamaha_drums.jpg)
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    >>5334046
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)05:31 No.5334085
    Why did this thread suddenly reminded me of Shadow of the Colossus?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)05:35 No.5334113
    >>5334085
    You want to fuck giants?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)05:37 No.5334124
    I once went out with a Shadow Girl...

    ...they do not like mornings, let me tell you.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)05:53 No.5334203
    I'm thinking we get some Stone shape up in this motherfucker and then cast ...
    ... wait for it ...
    Stone to Flesh.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)05:56 No.5334214
         File1249379787.gif-(15 KB, 275x300, slowpoke.gif)
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    >>5334203
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)05:56 No.5334215
         File1249379799.jpg-(44 KB, 352x474, HotPirateBabe1.jpg)
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    Why are female pirates so hot?

    Because they ARRRRRRRRR!
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:03 No.5334251
         File1249380204.jpg-(21 KB, 350x378, Facepalm Hun.jpg)
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    >>5334215
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:06 No.5334269
    You're all wrong.

    You're looking at this from the wrong direction and all you people saying Stone shape and stone to flesh should be ashamed.

    The thing has done so much to be with you, yet even if you do work out some communication it's going to be hard.

    There's only one remaining option.

    Don't make him like you, you must become like him and then all the realms will know the meaning of your glorious love eternal.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:12 No.5334305
    >>5334269
    No john, you are the elementals

    and then john was a rock
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:13 No.5334308
    >>5332528
    This! Consider this!

    Is there someone special who you think might show her/his affection this way? How many spellcasters are there around you?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:14 No.5334322
    >>5334269
    I dunno, sounds kind of gay.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:15 No.5334327
         File1249380937.gif-(456 KB, 480x208, 1217724241436.gif)
    456 KB
    >>5333151
    ....


    Picture related
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:17 No.5334337
    >>5334269
    This is an interesting point, what sort of universal twisting would you need to become an elemental?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:18 No.5334340
    >>5334337
    Polymorph.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:18 No.5334349
    >>5334340
    but wouldn't that just make you LOOK like one?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:19 No.5334357
    >>5334340

    Seriously? Is that all it takes?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:20 No.5334359
    >>5334349
    Fine. Flesh shape and Flesh to stone.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:21 No.5334364
    >>5331687
    Give it hugs, find out what it likes to eat and reciprocate.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:21 No.5334370
    >>5334340
    >>5334359
    Neither of these option make you into an elemental.

    You'd need like, a greater wish and some god's favour probably.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:22 No.5334372
    Just get down and dirty with it, already.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:22 No.5334373
    >>5331632
    "DM, I'm not gay for you, stop being gay for me in-game, you goddamn faggot. I want to loot the corpses of the monsters I kill in the Dungeon, not play 'House' with your borderline-furry elemental which you are projecting your feelings on."
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:22 No.5334375
    I dated this ice elemental chick once. Gotta say, she was one cold bitch. Always chose were we went, never so much as gave me a little shot of the goods.

    Then I got a few shots in her, got her dancing a little. Took her back to my place, dimmed the lights, and whispered a few sweet nothings in her ears. I had her melting at my touch.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:25 No.5334390
    >>5334337
    So not only is it gay, it's impossible to do mechanically?
    Right, next idea ...
    >> Professor Stein (Gone Fishing) !NU4eJT.c7o 08/04/09(Tue)06:27 No.5334402
    >>5334373
    I would kick you out of my group.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:28 No.5334409
    >>5333801
    This.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:28 No.5334415
    >>5334373

    Dawwwwwwww, how cute.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:30 No.5334421
    >>5334390
    There MUST be a way to do it, come on people, we need to know how to become an elemental.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:31 No.5334430
    >>5334402
    "DM, why are you so Tsundere? You're not even a flat-chested loli. Stop being tsundere, DM"
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:31 No.5334431
    >>5334402
    I'd kick you out of your own group!
    ...
    Well, if you were actually gay. If this is something else entirely then I'd probably not kick you out of your own group, and go with the romance subplot.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:32 No.5334437
    >>5334431
    A homophobic D&D player?
    OH LOL
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:32 No.5334438
    >>5334421
    Nah, it's gay.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:32 No.5334440
    You know I take pride in saying I've been around, I know every single type of elemental.

    Keep away from the fire elementals, sure they're hot, but you'll get scorched.

    Same goes for water elementals; sure they're fun, they win wet t-shirt contests and are always wet for you, but you gotta think to yourself... Who else do they get wet for?

    Air Elementals are complete air heads. They give a good blow job, but you will often find yourself blown away by their stupidity.

    And the Earth Elementals.... Well, they do seem like the fitting option, they could be your rock, someone to lean on. But then just when you get all cushy with one you find out they're hard.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:33 No.5334446
    >>5334437
    Lol because loving teh ghey is cool and edgy and all the hip new D&Ders are getting into it
    >> Professor Stein (Gone Fishing) !NU4eJT.c7o 08/04/09(Tue)06:34 No.5334456
    >>5334431
    Romantic subplots come up in character. Handle it as a roleplayer, not rollplayer.

    Just because a romantic thing occurs doesn't mean it's gay. it's IC.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:35 No.5334462
    >>5334446
    Err...no I was just saying that it's strange that a person who can detach from the real world and play as any number of non-standard characters in a game would find difficulty in accepting a non-standard relationship type in real life.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:35 No.5334464
    >>5334390
    This is D&D, it can be done. Specifically, the Elemental Savant prestige class.

    Failing that, you want the Stoneblessed PrC to become a Dwarf, and then into any of the thousands of stone-themed-dwarf PrCs.

    Failing that, harvest bits of its flesh, make elemental grafts, and then take the Elemental Scion of Zilrago from Magic of Eberron. The level 7 ability lets you 'physically merge with the body of an elemental', make of that what you will.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:36 No.5334479
    >>5334430
    "It's not like I like you PC."
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:37 No.5334486
    >>5334479
    HHHHHHNNNNNGGGGGHHHHH
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:39 No.5334500
    >>5334440
    your puns have gone out of their way to burn my brain
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:39 No.5334501
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    >>5334479
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:39 No.5334502
    >>5334464
    Also, the Mineral Warrior template, for +1 LA.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:39 No.5334504
    Treat the Earth Elemental as you would a woman.

    String it along as much as you can, and squeeze it for maney at every oppurtunity.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:40 No.5334506
    >>5334501
    Nice cumshot calligraphy, bro
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:40 No.5334509
    >>5334504
    I won't be squeezing anything for man, tyvm
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:42 No.5334523
    >>5334462
    I can handle non-standard relationships. Midgets, Asians, Blind people, Old people, Young people, Scarred war veterans.
    But gays?
    Hell naw. Bad out of game, and Bad in-game because you know some OOC faggot is fagging up your shit with faggy fagness through it.
    It's not that I find difficulty in accepting it, it's that it's a huge pile of fail, shit, gtfo and aids. Faggots faggots faggots faggots faggots etc.

    How does this relate to Earth Elementals?
    >Don't make him like you, you must become like him and then all the realms will know the meaning of your glorious love eternal.
    "Become like him" <- homo
    "All the realms will know" <- attention seeking
    "Glorious love eternal" <- relationship
    So, we've got an attention-seeking homo relationship. ... Sure sounds Gay to me.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:44 No.5334538
    >Just because a romantic thing occurs doesn't mean it's gay. it's IC.

    It can be two things
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:44 No.5334542
    >>5331632
    Leave him a chocolate covered heart of a foe you have recently slain.

    For Earth Elementals, it is a sign of kinship, proving to one another that you are indeed Bros.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:45 No.5334556
    >>5334542
    This, and man, do I miss the fluff from the variety of 2e Monster Compendiums.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:46 No.5334564
    >>5334430
    . . .
    Tsundere Water Elemental Loli.
    Is now confirmed for FUCKING AWESOME.
    This will be in any campaigns every campaigns forever even in unrelated settings.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:48 No.5334578
    >>5334564
    I can already hear "I-I-I'm not wet, you stupid adventurer!"
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:49 No.5334589
    >>5334578
    >Tsundere Water Elemental Loli.
    >"I-I-I'm not wet, you stupid adventurer!"

    lmfao
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:50 No.5334596
    >>5334523
    I'm not being funny or anything now but you have a problem man and you should seek help.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:50 No.5334598
    >>5334564
    Enjoy your players being very creeped out by you, and probably leaving the game.

    PROTIP, outside of 4chan very few people find "tsundere lolis" appealing.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:51 No.5334603
    >>5334596
    It's called teen angst, he'll grow out of it in a few years
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:51 No.5334604
    >>5334542
    Bro-sexuals?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:52 No.5334608
    >>5334598
    Good thing I game with channers over IRC.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:52 No.5334613
    >>5334564
    Tsundere Waterloli is engaged in fierce rivalry with Hyperactive Yandere Fireloli.
    Vapid Ditz Airloli and Nerdy Practical Earthloli offer sideplot.

    Flesh golem shows up, declares self to be "Heart Loli". Hijinks ensue.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:52 No.5334615
    >>5334604
    Roll your dice right, and it can blossom into full on Bromolust
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:53 No.5334621
    >>5334613
    I can imagine the mayhem and ruins left behind already.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:53 No.5334622
    >>5334613
    >I just got your Sailor Moon reference, 5334613. I feel slightly disgusted with myself now.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:54 No.5334626
    >>5334596
    My problem is FAGGOTS
    and the only prescription is MORE LOLI.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:55 No.5334636
    >>5334626
    Call me caddy, but wouldn't the solution be less FAGGOTS?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:55 No.5334640
    >>5334626
    Lets make it SHOTA, then everyone is happy.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:56 No.5334642
    >>5334640
    shota? explain
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:56 No.5334646
    >>5334621
    Jesus christ, if it had more backstory I'd make it a campaign setting.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:56 No.5334649
    >>5334642
    No, wait

    Okay, so, when a man loves a woman who loves a man who loves a boy, that's shota
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:57 No.5334654
    >>5334649
    0_o
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:57 No.5334657
    >>5334654
    I know, it is a mystery
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:58 No.5334663
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    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)06:58 No.5334669
    >>5334613
    Big True Neutral Guy tricks all 5 loli into appearing in a summoning circle, creates Captain Loli for aid of Druids everywhere.
    >> Professor Stein (Gone Fishing) !NU4eJT.c7o 08/04/09(Tue)06:59 No.5334677
    >>5334613
    I would love the earth loli forever.

    Also, fire loli.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)07:00 No.5334681
    >>5334640
    I dunno.
    Shota + Women is perfectly okay.
    But Shota + Men, or Shota + {Women with Dicks} is totally not okay.
    I mean it'd be a good idea but you have to keep a watch on it, you can't just let it spaz out all over the place like you can with Loli.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)07:01 No.5334688
         File1249383715.jpg-(13 KB, 300x300, cap.jpg)
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    >>5331632

    The correct response is "Everything I can get away with", OP.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)07:03 No.5334703
    >>5334681
    Au contraire! You don't have to worry about anything with little boys.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)07:04 No.5334706
         File1249383858.jpg-(56 KB, 500x400, deliveryjokes_fedex.jpg)
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    >>5334688
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)07:10 No.5334737
    >>5334677
    Water loli would be awesome.

    So wait what's going on?

    A Tsundere Water elemental Loli
    A Yandere Fire elemental Loli
    A Ditz-stereotype Air elemental Loli
    A Nerd-stereotype Earth elemental Loli
    and a Flesh golem loli that ... I dunno, just runs around raping everything? I mean it is a flesh golem.

    And a rather strange druid wants to get them all into a summoning room WITHOUT them killing each-other, so he can summon a Voltron elemental?
    ... That voltron elemental will do nothing but turn entire landscapes into elemental chaos as its 5 minds bicker.

    So where the fuck did these elementals come from? Why are they here? Did they just meet each-other in a Tavern or something?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)07:11 No.5334741
    Earth is best
    Everything else
    fails the test.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)07:14 No.5334756
    >>5334741

    FIRE IS WEAK
    CHUCK 'EM IN THE CREEK
    EARTH IS STRONG
    LIKE KING KONG
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)07:14 No.5334761
    >>5334737
    . . .
    The only counter to a Voltron elemental made out of chaos is as Voltron elemental made out of LAW!

    A hyperactive Shota Air elemental,
    A timid and shy Shota Earth elemental,
    An Arrogant Shota Fire elemental,
    A "friends with everyone" Shota Water elemental,
    and an emo Shota Blood Golem

    All have to put aside their differences and work together in order to summon Captain Shota!
    The campaign would go to epic levels in the battle between Captain Shota and Captain Loli.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)07:16 No.5334765
    >>5334737
    The Elemental Plane of Voltron is now officially the most awesome place in the multiverse.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)07:19 No.5334778
    >>5334761
    KATANAS!
    DEAGLES!
    HELICOPTERS!
    EPIC GUITAR SOLOS!
    PARKOUR WITH SKATEBOARDS!

    Coming to a Campaign Table this September.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)07:20 No.5334787
    >>5334778
    >PARKOUR WITH SKATEBOARDS!
    SHIT JUST GOT REAL.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)07:21 No.5334789
         File1249384862.jpg-(21 KB, 450x300, Bleeding Eyes.jpg)
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    >>5334778
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)07:30 No.5334845
    >>5334390

    How to become an Earth Elemental in 5 easy steps:

    1. Planar Bind/Candle of Invocation a Efreeti
    2. Offer "If you grant your first and third wishes to me, I'll make the second one for your benefit on the condition you don't screw with the wishes*"
    3. "I wish I was an Earth/Magma/Ooze Elemental Creature"
    4. Efreeti's wish.
    5. "I wish I looked like a little girl elemental"

    *Which it can't really do anyway - but better safe.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)11:13 No.5336255
    What is this thread I don't understand.
    >> ODIOUS TROW 08/04/09(Tue)11:24 No.5336318
         File1249399468.jpg-(123 KB, 723x582, 1243752827071.jpg)
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    Someone posted something about fire elementals wanting to lurve you long time.

    Hence.

    Have a Cinder
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)11:34 No.5336389
    Your DM's a huge faggot for even trying this shit. I hope your character dies...

    Also, learn to speak Terran, fat bitch.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)11:35 No.5336392
    >>5334845
    >5. "I wish I looked like a little girl elemental"

    Fuck yes. A little girl made of stone.
    >> ODIOUS TROW 08/04/09(Tue)11:58 No.5336585
    >>5336392

    wouldn't that just make you an elemental of little girls?

    Flesh Gololi?

    in anycase, OP, figure out what the Earth Elemental wants of you, and then maybe give it to him/her/it.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)12:12 No.5336690
    >>5331632
    magic lamp genie 3 wishes BUT BE CAREFUL he will steal your fucking soul man
    >> Leto !sbrD/79/kI 08/04/09(Tue)12:24 No.5336761
         File1249403050.jpg-(211 KB, 640x853, Azer.jpg)
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    >>5336318

    I'll make you proud mom & dad!
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)13:10 No.5337067
    Hey if you get lucky you can ride into battle on an earth elemental mount.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)13:41 No.5337328
    >>5336761
    Fukkin' Beautiful
    >> /co//ck/y fa/tg/uy 08/04/09(Tue)13:44 No.5337362
         File1249407857.jpg-(40 KB, 640x426, charizard.jpg)
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    Ok, that's enough puns. And we had a thread about fucking elementals yesterday, you perverts.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)13:46 No.5337372
    Loli-elementals? COME ON PEOPLE!

    I'd rather get it on with an Elemental MILF.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)13:48 No.5337391
    >>5337372
    Thats just cuz youre after her magically mutated childrens.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)13:57 No.5337451
    >>5334046
    Wind Elemental chicks are such air heads.

    The guys are a bunch of blowhards too.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)14:15 No.5337579
    >>5337391
    HEY! I'd love her as an Elemental too!
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)14:17 No.5337596
    Turn the Elemental into a Warforge, then hang out with Rood
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)14:40 No.5337755
    Other then the 4 classic "elements" what other Elementals are there?
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)14:43 No.5337775
    >>5337755
    Chinese usually throw in Metal and Wood.
    >> Anonymous 08/04/09(Tue)14:43 No.5337779
    >>5337755
    PAPIER-MÂCHÉ ELEMENTALS!



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