>>5322683
An hour later I return with another player to hear the tale of what happened in my absence. When I left there was only one guy left standing, with two prisoners taken. Most of the time was taken with fighting this one last straggler. Finally our medic negotiated with him and got him to surrender, then our vindictive swordsman punched him in the face for the man grazing him in the firefight. He got a critical success and imploded the man's face. Dead is an understatement. Then a player who specialized in intimidation decided to go and interrogate the two prisoners, the one that was awake answered all his questions with no hesitation or dishonesty. The interrogator then decided to execute the prisoner. He failed, horribly. The prisoner still died from being scalped by the needler, but needles flew everywhere and kicked up the piles of Bliss waiting to be bagged by the Yakuza we were fighting. Out of a six man rescue team, two members failed their will save and got high on Bliss. The swordsman was one of them. He proceeded to slap the unconscious prisoner to wake him up. He gets ANOTHER critical success. The man's head is twisted fatally around by an attempt to wake him up. This is the point at which I return and am brought up to speed.

>>5322695
As the team's hacker I get into the Yakuza's computer system and pull up as much data as I can find. Immediately I came across a series of emails showing that these Yakuza were potential allies. I looked around the table and table and did the only thing I could in a situation such as this, I facepalmed. We were now left dragging the now passed out team members - who had failed their will saves repeatedly - back to our getaway car. At this point I should inform my fellow fa/tg/uys that our getaway car is a chauffeured limo.

continue

yes continue

>>5322725
It was now that our contact for the mission, a police officer who had accompanied us throughout, told us that reports of gunfire relating to people matching our descriptions were reaching the authorities. Instead of helping us escape he ditched us and left us to our own devices. Somehow we managed to escape without further incident and despite a gore laden crime scene got away scot-free. The next day we were called by a new contact, this time on the other side of the law. He owned the club next to our fiasco of a first mission and for some inexplicable reason decided that we were the right people for a certain job. Our mission was simple: Intercept a courier, steal his package, and make him disappear. At this point things took a turn for the worse. Worse than our current track record. Instead of our awesome limo we instead switched over to a Baja. Bajas in 2070 would be 60+ years old and even more overt than they are today. This was the car that we stealthily parked in front of the corporate tower the courier was to emerge from. Our driver, who was now the vindictive swordsman from earlier decided the best intercept point for the courier was when he was coming out of a heavily guarded tower. Incidentally, his actions were inconsequential.

This is taking a long time.

It better be good.

>>5322807
By this point the last two members of our party had arrived. An alcoholic adept that dumped as many point as she could into agility, gymnastics(jumping), and the adept jump power. She uses 15 dice to determine her max jump. The other new member is a semi-retired, Russian, uncouth dwarven plumber. He only speaks Russian, which half the team doesn't. He does, however, have a custom language skill: Language(Swearing). We made a list of one hundred (mostly) swear words. he chooses a language and rolls percentage whenever he wants and proceeds to spew a stream of invectives as long as the number of dice rolls he decided to do. As a plumber, his preferred weapons are a pair of oversized pipe wrenches. As the face, I decided to only take some of the party to meet our new contact for the courier intercept job. Zus, the dwarf, being uncouth is not exactly a first choice for this retinue. He then decides to go off and do his own thing. This means randomly wandering the city, calling for a percentage roll from our awesome GM. Zus rolls a five, landing him in a brothel. He then asks for a reroll and gets a four. The brothel is for gay male clients. Being the fine dwarf he is he swears ("TOOTHPASTE FLOOZY") and does heel face turn to the exit. First thing he sees upon returning to the light of day is an attractive woman. He asks for bust size and is told to roll percentage again. He rolls a 48, a little below average. Uninterested, Zus continues on his merry way looking for a small mammal to kick. The mission specs are broadcast to the party as a whole as he comes across a small dog. Ignoring the vital data for the moment he proceeds to kick the dog. Zus has strength seven and rolled three hits. The dog is kicked so hard it spun 180 degrees. This was cheered by Zus with a cry of, "Yeah! Okay! Jizz!"

>>5322925
His current task at hand complete, Zus turns to the mission. As the retinue that met with our contact returned to base to retrieve everyone else Zus made a b-line to the tower the courier was departing from. He beats the rest of the team by a good five minutes, enough time to locate a handy-dandy manhole cover to get under the building through. When everyone else gets there they know his last transmitted coordinates and see the dwarf-handled manhole. Peering inside we manage to catch a glimpse of Zus climbing out of the sewer inside the tower. At this point we get a message from the now transmitting dwarf that he was going to create a distraction. While everyone else dickered over how best to infiltrate the tower and find the courier before he left, Zus had taken matters into his own hands.

>>5322961
Taking matters into his own hands meant that Zus had climbed out of the sewer into the tower and simply said "I am plumber, please take me to maintainence room. Is first time working here." Apparently someone who spoke Russian was in the room at the time. He bluffed his way into the boiler room and turned a few key knobs. Meanwhile the rest of the party sat around confused as Zus's player and the GM whispered back and forth. Suddenly the party was joined in the Baja by a rather smelly dwarf who informed the other Russian speakers that it was time to run. And run we did. Zus was unaware of the explosive power of a boiler with the release turned off. He figured that it would cause an evacuation and force the courier out early. Five hours later we stood and looked at the carnage that was once a mighty corporate tower. In defiance of all of Zus's might, the courier still lived. Our medic ran up to the emergency workers and offered his services as a medical professional. Once accepted he took care of the courier; actual care, not finishing the job. Of course he made sure to jack the courier's bag that had been the primary target in the first place.

>>5323028
This has been the first weekly installment of That Fucking Dwarf.

Nicely done. Dem fucking dorfs :V

I eagerly await to hear more of Zus's adventures.

why does the drof have to do all the work?

>>5323083
To make up for being chained up and drugged for the first half of the session.

>>5323042
Hope to see this again next week..

Very nice