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  • File : 1249277821.jpg-(39 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest1.jpg)
    39 KB WutQuest - Because you can never have enough Quests . 08/03/09(Mon)01:37 No.5321206  
    You are on a cliff. You have a gun from /k/ and a beret from god knows where. You are only in two dimensions, and cannot move in any other way. You hear the sound of a keyboard and possible fapping.

    What do you do?
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 08/03/09(Mon)01:37 No.5321215
    Shoot self in head while falling off cliff.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:38 No.5321220
    Shoot self in head.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:39 No.5321229
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:39 No.5321232
    Shoot self in the kneecaps and through the elbows and roll off the cliff.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)01:40 No.5321242
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    You shoot yourself, but find out that the beret is bullet-proof. So, you simply jump off the cliff. The gun seems less detailed.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:40 No.5321250
    Cock the gun, shove it up ass, pull trigger, use result to pleasure self.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)01:41 No.5321259
    You cannot figure out a way to roll in two dimensions.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:42 No.5321261
    Remove beret. Attempt shooting head again.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:42 No.5321266

    I make sure I hit head first. Not even a beret can save my head from being crushed.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)01:45 No.5321295
         File1249278317.jpg-(41 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest3.jpg)
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    The bullets go through your body and hit the bulletproof beret, somehow stopping you from falling.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:45 No.5321301

    I attempt to do something productive in this quest: I stand up once I hit the bottom, and move to the RIGHT.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)01:48 No.5321324
         File1249278533.jpg-(40 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest 4.jpg)
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    You slowly float to the bottom and then take the gun out of anus. You then toss gun away, for barrel is filled with crap. Afterward, you move right, though you have trouble moving due to the bullets stuck in your brain.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:49 No.5321330
    I open up the main menu, and choose QUIT.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:50 No.5321336

    I start practice frisbeeing with the beret. It's clearly some kind of godly level artifact and will make a more suitable weapon than the firearm.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)01:51 No.5321342
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    You quit the game. However, everyone else continues playing, for this is a multiplayer game.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:51 No.5321357
    Remove the beret, reinsert the gun into anus, fire again to knock bullets out of brain.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:52 No.5321360
    I keep gimping along, drooling and making "HERP DERP" noises as I shuffle along to the RIGHT. What do I see?
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)01:53 No.5321374
         File1249278820.jpg-(32 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest 6.jpg)
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    You toss the beret in a frizbee-like fashion. You are mediocre with the beret, but you figure out how to use it properly.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)01:56 No.5321400
         File1249278964.jpg-(50 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest 7.jpg)
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    You gimp along quite effectively, soon seeing a CACTUS.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:57 No.5321415
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:58 No.5321423
    carefully remove interior of cactus, install self in cactus shell, enjoy comfort of new CACTUS ARMOR.

    Also, insert cactus spine into either ear or nose, use as probe to locate and extract bullets from brain.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:58 No.5321427

    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)01:58 No.5321429
         File1249279111.jpg-(13 KB, 209x168, Trollface.jpg)
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    You die of AIDS.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:01 No.5321462
         File1249279287.jpg-(38 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest 8.jpg)
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    You create Cactus Armor, the cactus-y armor in all the land!
    However, it is hard to scratch an itch.

    You remove bullets with cactus spine and then place beret on top of cactus armor.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:02 No.5321476
    Fight some dinosaurs. IN SPACE.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:03 No.5321490
    follow the railroad to where its going
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:03 No.5321496
    follow railroad into space. fight dinosaur train conductors
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:03 No.5321500
         File1249279425.jpg-(42 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest 9.jpg)
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    You toss the beret at your cactus armor while you're in it. It cracks a bit and the beret falls to the ground.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:05 No.5321521
    Pick up beret and use it to fight the dinosaur train conductors IN SPACE.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:08 No.5321548
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    You follow railroad into space. A dinosaur with a special hat, gas mask, jetpack, and cutlass, stands in front of you. You exchange blows with it using the beret. You realize that your armor is kind of stuffy.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:09 No.5321566
    Steal his train and follow the railroad.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:12 No.5321606
         File1249279978.jpg-(74 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest 11.jpg)
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    Your odd names confuse the dinosaur. You hit him on top of head with beret and steal top hat. It falls into the dark abyss of space.

    ...You wonder why you took the top hat.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:15 No.5321637
         File1249280133.jpg-(66 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest 12.jpg)
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    You grab his train and try to find the railroad. There is none. However, this place is crazy enough; the train works in space! Where would you like to go?
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:16 No.5321644
    Heaven, so that we can fight Jesus with our beret.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:17 No.5321659
    fuck that, go to Valhalla. fight for the rest of time
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:18 No.5321668
    Who says we have to choose? Go to both of them at the same time.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:19 No.5321675
    You find heaven and then charge at Jesus with TRAIN. However, he is too strong and he picks the train up. If he lets go, though, the train will crush him.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:20 No.5321689
         File1249280400.jpg-(72 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest 13.jpg)
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    Forgot the picture
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:20 No.5321695
    Throw the beret at him.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:20 No.5321696

    Get out of the train and start tickling his sides.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:21 No.5321701

    Jump out. Use beret as parachute.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:23 No.5321716
         File1249280614.jpg-(49 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest 14.jpg)
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    You toss the beret at him, knocking him over and crushing him. Sadly, the beret was not Space Train proof, and it was crushed as well. In a fit of rage, you climb out and tickle the dead prophet.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:24 No.5321723
    How can it not be space train proof?

    Whatever, let's go to Valhalla now.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:25 No.5321726
    tickle him with the beret
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:25 No.5321728

    I realize it's been a long time since I took the sacrament and consume the dead prophet.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:26 No.5321736

    I gather the remains of the dead Savior, beret, and parts cannabalized from the train to make a heavy-metal guitar.

    AND I ROCK THE FUCK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:26 No.5321741
    Take his facial hair, use his sinews to lash beard to cactus armor.

    Then go find Bast and hit on her.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:27 No.5321748
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    You head to Valhalla. Thor greats you at the gates. However, there is a strict 'No cacti' rule there, and he kicks your sorry ass out of there.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:27 No.5321756
    Fuck. Use Jesus' beard to strangle Thor.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:28 No.5321760
    take off armor.

    fight for all eternity
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:29 No.5321778
    Actually, let's change this a little.
    Take off cactus armor, but make us Space Train armor.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:30 No.5321782
    fuck yes
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:30 No.5321784
    Plant mushrooms on Cactus Armor.

    Once we're a Fun Guy, there's no way they can keep us out of Norse Party Central!
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:30 No.5321789
         File1249281026.jpg-(44 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest 16.jpg)
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    You pull a DEAD JESUS out of your pocket. THOR hits you with HAMMER. You fly into space. You put DEAD JESUS back into your pocket.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:31 No.5321794
    You lost the Space Train due to being hammered into space.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:32 No.5321802

    Wait, how are we still alive in space then?
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:33 No.5321820
    For a quest born of failure, it sure turned into a prince.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:34 No.5321831
         File1249281296.jpg-(40 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest 17.jpg)
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    You place pocket mushroom on the top of your cactus armor. It sticks.

    Cacti are known for their space-faring abilities.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:35 No.5321846
    Paddle our way through space back to the SPACE TRAIN.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:37 No.5321866
         File1249281476.jpg-(31 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest 18.jpg)
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    You attempt to doggy paddle back through space. Sadly, the laws of physics still kinda-sorta apply.

    The pocket mushroom grows a bit.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:38 No.5321875
    Use DEAD JESUS to teleport back to SPACE TRAIN.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:41 No.5321901
    You apply DEAD JESUS's BEARD to face of armor. The mushroom grows more, but not much else happens.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:42 No.5321908
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    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:42 No.5321910
    Smoke the shroom. Maybe we'll come up with some good ideas.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:45 No.5321928
         File1249281928.jpg-(46 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest 20.jpg)
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    You smoke the shroom. The smoke is very thick, and you become quite high.

    A bar appears above your head with the letters 'HP'. Its is about 3/4 full.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:46 No.5321936
    Use it to get use some movement towards SPACE TRAIN.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:48 No.5321956
         File1249282135.jpg-(45 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest 21.jpg)
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    You twist around in your armor and grab the HP bar. It is closer to half-full now. You use it to paddle towards the Space Train, but it is very slow.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:49 No.5321961
    Keep going.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:49 No.5321962
    equip healthbar as sword
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:52 No.5321982
         File1249282356.jpg-(39 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest 22.jpg)
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    You squeeze the bottom of the health bar and use it as a makeshift sword. The letters HP disappear.

    Like you, much of the stats on the HP sword are very high.

    The shroom smoke is out, but you are still feeling good about life.
    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)02:54 No.5321994
    Let's go and attack some dinosaur train conductors. We've got to find another SPACE TRAIN!
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:57 No.5322018
    You work hard and try to move around in space. The HP sword goes all white, though, and you die. There is a counter above your head. Expect a respawn sometime.


    That's all for today, expect a random sequel tomorrow. Before you ask, it will be just as bad.
    >> . 08/03/09(Mon)02:57 No.5322023
         File1249282673.jpg-(44 KB, 1000x1000, Wutquest End.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 08/03/09(Mon)03:15 No.5322149
    >Before you ask, it will be just as fuckwin awesome.

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