*groan*

I want the former champion of Xom to join our party.

Okay Beardbeard, we’ve some work to do now that we’re god. First off let’s do two aims with one stone: Proposing to girls and a tribute to the memory of Garrelf. Your tribute will be a harem! Xanatos, Kav… and we’ll find the others other ways.
So. Kav. Appear to her like Gods usually do in those prayer bubbles and say something along the lines of “Hey Kav. Guess what? I’m your god! Now Kav, I have an idea for you. I heard what you did in the temple, and I like your style. Now I’m hoping for some open relationships, and I was wondering if maybe you’d be interested…? I could make you an Archangel of Ranged Weaponry. Repair your Wings, some new boys to help you out, power. Even make you bigger, if you want. So what do you say?”
If she says no we can try wooing her later. On to the next bit!
1. Hey, Presley. You wanna become angel of Inspiration and Determination?
2. Let’s change the abilities you give out into something more fitting. What? I dunno. Ask Fate on what you can do with given powers.
3. MIRACLE TIME! Organise giant booze party. Of infinite booze. Invite all your followers and some barkeeps. Convince people you are god of booze. It’ll be great.

well...answer it.

>>5258789
I didn't read that, but I'm sure it's too plany for Beardbeard because it's so long.

We should also ask Xom to do something about our exposed lungs.

>>5258789
Can we even make people into angels?

>>5258821
Nope.

"So I hear you are god of Strength, now, Beardbeard."

>>5258825
Ask him why he can't heal his eyes.

Shit. I missed the fight.

Wait, does Beardbeard know Musclebeard is Moradin yet? This should be awful suspicious.

>>5258825
"Yep. And how're things going for you?"

>>5258834
Yes, we know. Rary told us.

*glare*

>>5258799
Eh. I got bored.
>>5258821
Well we better be able to. We need minions and shit to do all the actual work while we bugger off playing divine games. Alternatively we could just make them really high up priests. We have to do something for Presley, in gratitude.

>>5258825
"Hey, Blindy. What's it like being blind? You like it? Do you like being blind?"
"You know what's awesome? Today I saw something. And then I saw something else. Because I can see."
"Also, you're blind."

>>5258834

"So .. there's a god of barkeeps?"

>>5258825
"Yes. You bring out my... ambitious streak."

>>5258825
Yes. What's it to you? And why don't you reveal your true form, Moradin. No point pretending.

What happened to our gold scepter? Ask Moradin if he found out stone that disintegrates rock.

>>5258825
There is only one proper response to the person we blinded.
"Aye"

>>5258844
this, being petty and teasing him about his lack of eyes is always relevant and worth our time.

>>5258832
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Dorf%20Quest
Archives are your friend!

>Yup. And how are things for you?
"Well I was hoping ye were dead, to be perfectly honest. Ye always used to be a good fer nothing, but look where ye are now."

>Why don't you reveal your true form, Moradin?
"I like this one better."

>Why don't you heal that eye, blindy?
"Shut it, boy."

>Did you ever find our stone that disintegrates rock?
"Hell nah. That's long gone, boy."

"Anyway, I was callin' to say congrats. Heracles was like a sworn brother t'me. Do his memory proud, boy."

>>5258902

We checked on him in the afterlife. He's havin' a great 'ol time kicking ass in Valhalla. Is there any way we can get Sasha to him in Valhalla, or is that not possible? 'Cause that seems like something he'd like.

>>5258889

Brutal.

Seconded.

>>5258902
You DO realize we're going to kick your ass one day, right?

>>5258918
His weapon disappeared, so I assume it went with him.

Although he is clearly goading us on I say we ignore him for now.

Other ( perhaps not bigger but ... ) fish to fry.

Can we go talk to Xom now?

"Move along, nothing to see here"

*click*

>>5258929
>You DO realize I'm going to kick your ass someday, right?
"...Aye."

He signs out.

You are still in the Neutral Room. What are you going to do now?

>>5258953
Lets go bug Xom or Satan.

>>5258953
Let's go to Fate and ask about godhood. We need to know what we can do, how powerful we are.

>>5258963
We already did that.

Let's punch the ground so hard we cause a natural landmark.
We need to show that people should not fuck with us.

>>5258963

This sounds good.

Ok. That was Xomish.

Voting bug Satan.

We need some down time.

>>5258960
Or call Pelor a pansy if he's around.

>>5258972
More questions.

Or we could answer a prayer.

>>5258973
We're in the Nuetral zone atm.

>>5258988
Prayers are like phone calls not E-mails.

>>5258995
...How many followers do we have?

I just figured we had a prayer spam-filter, that all the little people got ignored and we only payed attention to important people.

I wonder if we can make Driblis hulk out.

>>5259006
We're not allowed to ignore prayers. Fate said so.

>>5259019
I thought he just meant we had to answer SOME. Like a quota. He'll call us out if we're not doing enough.

We have to answer them ALL? How small is our following for us not to get any prayers yet? Goddamn you would have though the God of Strength and War would be getting all sorts of prayer. In the middle of fights like "Oh mighty God of Strength, lend me the power to not get killed."

>>5258953
Can we fix that exposed lung problem here, since we can apparently heal any injury? Or do mutations not count?

>>5258963
Alright, lets go bug Fate.
"Hello again. Did you forget something, did you?"

>>5259006
Random aside: The population of Dorf Quest only numbers in the tens of thousands, and Heracles is one of the lesser gods. Prayers will be occasional, but not frequent. People mostly pray to Heracles for victory, anyway, so a lot of them will be short.

>>5259051
'Sup Fate. I've a few questions on being a God.
Can I change the abilities I give to my followers?
Can I become god of more than just Strength and War if what I want to become god of hasn't been claimed?
Do I have any servants or minions besides Priests?

Also what are you reading? And please don't say it's the book of my life.

Ask how powerful we are, and if we get any godly special things like a realm or anything. Ask what would happen if we, theoretically, became god of everything and then relinquished all our power without passing it on.
Ask what, exactly Fate does.

>Also what are you reading? And please don't say it's the book of my life.

"The black library"

^_^

"You seem busy. Need us to lend you a hand with anything?"

Doing favors for fate can't possibly be a bad idea, and it might get us access to some of his power.

>>5259084

It's a C.S. Goto book.

>>5259078
We are really strong and can conjure weaponry. Fate is the bookkeeper. Ask Fate if the former champion of Xom is dead and if we can resurrect her. If not, ask where she is.

>>5259084
"Twilight."

Let's check up on our old buddy Satan.

I forget if Beardbeard has yet seen the... new him. Either way lets ask Fate about him.

>>5259105
Also, ask about the champions of all the other gods and Rary.

>>5259051

Hey, fate. How did the Gods come to be? Tell us a story.

>'Sup Fate. I've a few questions on being a God.
"Understandably so. Go right ahead."

>Can I change the abilities I give to my followers?
"As long as they fit within your domain, yes."

>Can I become god of more than just Strength and War if what I want to become god of hasn't been claimed?
"There is no divinity currently unclaimed. Gods encompass very broad elements - if you want a narrow portion, ask the appropriate god for jurisdiction. You might get lucky~"

>Do I have any servants or minions besides Priests?
"Also your followers, but they can say no."

>Also what are you reading? And please don't say it's the book of my life.
"Its not. Its the book of every life."

>How powerful am I?
"You are the 9th strongest god right now in sheer power."

>What powers do I have?
"...Are you stupid? I just went over this an hour ago. You can conjure weapons and lift mountains."

>Ask what would happen if we, theoretically, became god of everything and then relinquished all our power without passing it on.
"You'd have all of Divinity sitting in one spot until someone picked it up."

>Ask what, exactly Fate does.
"Trains newbie gods like you and keeps the rest of them in line."

>Is the former champion of Xom dead?
"...YES? If there is only one champion at a time and you are it, what do you THINK happened to the last one, hmm?"

>Ask about other champions and Rary
"Rary is my apprentice, and my champion. Good kid. Ask the other gods if you REALLY want to know about their champions."

>How did the Gods come to be? Tell us a story.
"I'm surprised you care about that. But alright..."
[cutscene]

>>5259154
Rary is Fate's champion? That explains a lot.

>>5259154
Who has control over the divinity of Booze and partying? It's going to be Moradin, isn't it?

In the beginning, there were 5 gods. Shiva, god of Creation; Xanatos, god of Destruction; Yog, god of Order; Xom, god of Chaos; and Fate, me, God of Gods.

[cutscene]

>>5259199
If we're the god of war, then it falls under our domain because of Valhalla.

Shiva was set to make the world...

...But he did not want to.

>>5259232
More like god of laziness.

So he split his Divinity into 3 parts, and created 3 gods to hold them: Ra, God of the Sky; Thor, God of the Stone; and Zeus, God of the Ocean. He set them to make the world for him.

And so they did. The world was made, and it was beautiful. Xom and Yog immediately began fighting over whose influence would affect it more.

It was good, for a time. Until Xanatos grew bored with the world. She asked Shiva to make Life, to make the world less boring.

So Shiva tried to make life.

However, after a few life forms, Shiva grew bored once more. He split his divinity again, creating the Goddess Okami to create life in this world for him.

>>5259354
I think I know why Shiva isn't around anymore.

When they were finished with their tasks, and the world was good, Shiva thanked them for their assistance, and asked them to return their power.

They said no.

>>5259387
Well that was expected. Should have made a bomb inside them just in case of this.

Shiva attempted to take their divinity by force, but discovered he had no power left. His only remaining realm of divine influence was Morality. Out of thankfulness for having made them, they allowed Shiva to live.

Xanatos felt it her fault, since she had prompted him to make Life, and thus split away the last of his divinity. In a moment of Pity, she gave him her moral Divinity: Immorality. With influence over both Moral and Immoral choices, Shiva became god of Judgement. Even today, it is the weakest of the divinities.

>>5259434
HA!

And that is how the 9 gods came to be, and for a long time, none of the other Primordial Gods dared split their divinities for fear of making the same mistake Shiva did. Eventually Xanatos split her Divinity to make Strength and War, mostly to help her deal with the prayer influx. His position been around for a couple thousand years now.

And Nemelex was made by freak accident. I don't think Xom did that on purpose. He's a new god, less than a century old.

[/end cutscene]

>>5259434

How ironic that the God of Judgment was created through the injustice of his children's betrayal.

Man if anyone has a plot its got to be shiva...

Anyway enough with this boring talking! We should have a tournament in honor of our new godhood! Beer wenches and fights! YES!

>>5259154
> lift mountains

Let's use this on Buzzardloved at some point

So, we're essentially sponging off the powers of Xanatos, with a little bit of Xom thrown in? ... Neat.
So who controls beer? We should totally talk with the god in charge of that, and ask if there's some way we can get in charge of that, specifically.
Then we will truly be the god of Dorfiness.

>>5259531
Beer falls under war, which I think we're the god of.

Ask what happened to the god of life's divinity.

How about we go use our MASSIVE STRENGTH that we probably have and go punch an effigy of Garrelf in the moon, or go talk to Satan about what's going on with his soul?

>>5259535
You keep saying that, but it could just as easily fall under Chaos(Inebriation), Nature(The stuff beer is made from), or Crafting(Actually making the beer).

>>5259519
Better yet we should determine our new priests using this method! And even better we can make our new wife out this method!

Girls only tournament! Tests of strength and drinking! Winner gets to marry the god of strength.

Only the strongest drunkest female should be our wife!

Ask Fate about how the other gods feel about us being the new guy. It would be good to know which of them might be more friendly, or a threat.

( Awesome Gnome! Thank you! )

>>5259535
We're the God of Strength, not the God of War.

Gnome seems to pull gods from various pantheons, so the God of War could be Ares, or Ankt, or Andraste.

Go and check on Satan.

>>5259531
>Who controls beer?
"Beer is a food, so that falls under the domain of Nature. The process of brewing is a trade, so that falls under Moradin's domain. Being drunk falls under Chaos. Ask them all."

>>5259541
"God of Life? We usually call that divinity Nature."

>>5259562

"That's heavy Fate. Word."

>>5259553
I think he'd be better off hooking up with Xanatos.

>>5259572
What happens when two gods get it on? Can we give birth to a child and is that child a god of some kind?

So can we FINALLY get some shit done? Let's wreck Buzzardloved already!

>>5259564
We took the God of War's divinity with the God of strength's. They were one and the same.

>>5259572
Where did Satan come from? He wasn't a god when we met him, but he wasn't a mortal either.

>>5259564
Actually, we're both. "Strength and War" is one divinity.

>>5259598
It looks like new gods are created when one splits off his divinity, so two gods "getting it on" would probably involve each giving a portion of divinity as one being.

>>5259604
Just some random celestial being, like Goldmoon.

>>5259572
well, get drunkenness from xom, then beer, then finally brewing. in that order.

God + Mortal = Superhuman
God + God = Giant

I think that's how it goes.

Out of curiosity - what would it take to get Moradins eyesight back?

>>5259618
Before that he was a god though.

>>5259633
Before what?

>>5259598
"The child would have no divinity whatsoever, but the progeny of us Primordial Gods are usually terrifying. Children of other gods are as per normal for their race."

>>5259564
Strength and War are the same divinity. The 11 gods listed on the wiki are ALL of the gods - War is under Beardbeard's domain. Sorry to be misleading.

>>5259604
Satan was just a regular demon. A pretty strong one, and the prince of demons, but still just a demon.

>>5259626
see
>>5258902

>>5259572
Any way we can get Sasha to Heracles in Valhalla? I didn't see him with it when we called him, and I bet he would like it.

You said that many new gods get bested because they are getting used to their power still. Care to give an example as to how that could apply to Heracles?

Could you give a walkthrough of how to use this 'weapon conjuring thing?' I imagine you know that my specialty is mostly violence and chaos, so creating stuff seems somewhat.... foreign to me.

Lets get that memorial to garelf a go. Carve the moon in his image with our punch!

>>5259656
We should ask Satan to make Garrelf the new prince of demons.

>>5259656
>Children of other gods are as per normal for their race."

But what race are you first gods? Are we compatible with Xanatos?

>>5259662
People get whatever weapon they want in Valhalla and he said he was fine.

>>5259656
...wait, if Satan was the prince of demons, who was the king?

>>5259673
Any idea what would happen if a primordial god and a mortal turned god had a kid?

>>5259672
Just wait, Garrelf will have taken over within a week. Djinn or not, Glittergold or not, Satan is a fucking wimp.

>>5259680
There are no demon kings. Anything above prince would be a god.

>>5259682
I say we find out.

FOR SCIENCE!

Call up Xom.

Then punch him in the face.

Because you can.


Afterwards, take Xom out for drinks.

Go "wait what do you mean was"

then conjure yourself a beerhammer while he explains.

>>5259673
He said the primordials give birth to horrifying beasts and such. So Xanatos would probably produce some dark horror, regardless of the father.

I think we're gonna have to steer clear of Garrelf for not. ( I thought Gnome made that clear. )

Would not mind visiting Satan tho'

& I still wanna know about Moradin eye(s)

Ask Xom for the power of drunkness, so we can keep ourselves drunk forever.

>>5259709
*for now.

( dammit )

>>5259710
He might agree to that...

>What would happen if a primordial and a mortal turned god had a kid?
"You and Xanatos would have a little zombie dorf with super strength and diseases. Horrible diseases. It would be immune to them though, but no one around it would be."

"...But a little hunch says that probably will not happen, yes."

>What race are you first gods?
"We have no race. We are what we are, and there is nothing like us in this world."

>>5259710
But that means we would be drunk without drinking anything... it seems like an unnatural, pansy way to go about it.

>>5259728
>"...But a little hunch says that probably will not happen, yes."
That sounds like a fucking challenge to me.
Add quest: Woo Xanatos, create spawn.

>>5259728
>probably will not happen
Well he can still have fun trying.

>>5259751

Yeah, we can't let Fate tell us what we can and can't do!

>>5259728
You said that many new gods get bested because they are getting used to their power still. Care to give an example as to how that could apply to Heracles?

Could you give a walkthrough of how to use this 'weapon conjuring thing?' I imagine you know that my specialty is mostly violence and chaos, so creating stuff seems somewhat.... foreign to me.

>>5259761
We already made a helmet, so I think we're familiar with how it works.

Fate's parting advice about conjuring weapons: You'll get the hang of it.

ALRIGHT LETS DO SOMETHING BESIDES ANSWER QUESTIONS.

2 prayers later, you arrive at Xom.
>Hey Xom, can I have divine jurisdiction over Intoxication?
"Sure, lets haggle over it! Whatchu want for it?"

>>5259787
>"Sure, lets haggle over it! Whatchu want for it?"

Right. Is there some part of my divinity that isn't very dorf-like?

>>5259787
Well, I thought I only had Jurisdiction over Strength and War. Unless I have more domains that I don't know about yet, it seems a bit unfair to give you half of my portfolio for Intoxication, awesome as it may be.

>>5259787

I want you to tell me what sort of things Xanatos likes in exchange for me taking that pesky domain off your hands.

>>5259808

Obviously we have domain over Beards.

It doesn't matter who had domain over it before. Upon ascending, it became ours through sheer beardliness.

>>5259808
We could give him a sub-divinity of war or strength.

>>5259787

"I want it to further the glory of Xom."

>>5259787

"Well I have this smooth silk cape, it feels very nice..."

>>5259807
>>5259808
"I swear, everything I say goes in one ear and out the other! I didn't ask what you were going to give me for it; I asked what you WANTED for it."

>>5259787

XOM = RED

MIND = BLOWN

How about we create a special Tournament, where people battle to prove their strength, but in random ass battles with challenges blessed by Xom?

>>5259837
Oh.

Well, I guess knowing what Xanatos likes wouldn't hurt.

>>5259837
Oh... ask for the power for his priests to heal Xoms mutations.

>>5259837
I want a box of Chaos magic.

>>5259837

*ahem* "Sorry. I want it to further the HILARITY of Xom."

>>5259810
"See now that's a listener! Xanatos likes reading and witty wordplay, but that's probably beyond you. I'd try Lilies. Her favorite flower. Represents death, and all."

"Here you go! Divinity of Intoxication, all yours!"

>>5259837
I should have expected that from the god of chaos.

>>5259787

I'm REALLY new at this divinity thing, and, no offense, you're WAY smarter and craftier than I am.

Haggling with you will likely get me killed in short order, as I lose something vital, or gain something lethal.

Sorry, Xom. I've got stuff to do before I die.

>>5259837
How about the ability to randomly mutate others on touch, like your priests can?

I mean, it seems weird to be your champion and not be able to give others a bit of chaos to have fun with, right?

>>5259860
Well shit, should have asked for something better than that. Good to know though.

>>5259876
Naw that would suck. Go with the power to heal those mutations instead.

Ask what happened to his arm after Moradin severed it.

Try and make Xom drunk, for shits and giggles.

>>5259860
Hug Xom. I mean seriously, the guy's a genius. We still worship him, he's just that cool.

>>5259860

*blink* .. Ok.

No more drunkeness the world over. Or maybe only Buzzardloved.

MUH HUH HAH HAAAA!

( Cue darkness & evil accompaniment )

>>5259860
I wonder....

is it a good or bad idea to give her some freshly dead lilies over freshly cut ones? You know, to give some more actual death to something that is symbolic of death?

Anyway yeah, lets have some fun with divinity over intoxication.

OH FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS: MAKE ALL KOBOLDS WHO FOLLOW US ABLE TO DRINK ABOUT AS WELL AS A DWARF. DRIBLIS IN PARTICULAR NEEDS TO BE ABLE TO DRINK AS MUCH AS US.

We need more drinking buddies.

Talking to Xom too long is likely to either get us killed or make us win the game, we should see what Satan is up to.

>>5259913
Why not a boquet with dead ones on the edges and live ones on the middle?

>>5259860
USE NEW INTOXICATION POWERS TO ATTAIN MAXIMUM DRUNKENNESS.

OH FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS: MAKE ALL KOBOLDS WHO FOLLOW US ABLE TO DRINK ABOUT AS WELL AS A DWARF. DRIBLIS IN PARTICULAR NEEDS TO BE ABLE TO DRINK AS MUCH AS US.

My god, its beautiful. Lets give those little bastards something to be proud of!

>Hug Xom

>>5259854
Ah no, don't think Xom would like his champion getting rid of his mutations.

>>5259913
>>5259939
Kobolds....as heavyweight drinkers, one and all?

Xom should be ecstatic, especially once news of this starts getting around. Can you imagine, a lone kobold in a bar, some fifty empty beers in front of him, and all around, passed out drinkers who couldn't keep up?

It is chaos at its finest.

Everything's a weapon...Summon armor with bladed nipples!

Go talk to Satan or Nemelex. If we talk to Nemelex, ask if that horrible thing we were going to do to Aldwin already happened.

>>5259973
>Xom should be ecstatic, especially once news of this starts getting around. Can you imagine, a lone kobold in a bar, some fifty empty beers in front of him, and all around, passed out drinkers who couldn't keep up?

We will ask for this in the after-session scribblings!

Your first act of divinity. Your very first. And you're going to use it to bless the Kobold Race with the ability to handle their liquor.

Truly no god hath ever done such an amazing feat as their very first. You crackle with divine energy...

>>5260001
OHPLEASEDON'TFUCKUPCOMEONCUTTHEKOBOLDSABREAKTHEYFUCKINGDESERVEIT

>>5260001
Make yourself drunk while your at it.

>>5259971
Why not? He mostly just does it for the lulz anyway, he probably wouldn't mind too much if the changes were removed sometime later.

>>5259966
'Xom, what's Yaoi'
'Never you mind little dorf, never you mind'

>>5260022
Having the same mutations also becomes stale.

>>5259989
I thought that was just him talking about us boning cultist.

>>5260034
Have mutations randomly removed when getting drunk. The drunker you get the more likely to shake them off. That way even removing the mutations leads to chaos.

Attempt to mutate the exposed lungs problem away.

>>5260001

This hand of mine glows with an aweseome power! My burning fist tells me to not outdrink you! Take this! My love, my ale, and all of my sobriety! Shining Blessing!

Ding.

>>5259966

Why do you make me do this?

>>5260073
Not that bad. We're done here, go back to the temple of Heracles we came from and make everybody in sight drunk.

>>5260073
....We should probably let the kobolds know they actually ARE dependent on alcohol now.

It would kind of defeat the whole purpose if they die out from ignorance.

Um ..

Is Xom gendered?

>>5260076
As the anon who requested the hug initially, I feel truly blessed by Xom and this drawfag.

>>5260073
Wait... doesn't that mean they're DEPENDANT of alcohol, instead of just more RESISTANT?

>>5260109

Xom gave us the power, after all.

>>5260109

That's even better, we better go let Driblis know to start farming some plump helmets.

>>5260109
I won't claim to know the intricacies of Dwarf Fortress and it's coding mechanisms.

Can anyone clarify that?

>>5260136
They become slow and inefficient when deprived of alcohol. Like a drug addict, except they can't be rehabilitated.

>>5260073
Well, I'm assuming we just aren't used to the divine power yet, so lets try to adjust that to just resistant.

>>5260147
Just like dorfs, then. No worries.

>>5260147
Huh. Not at all what we were going for.

Unless they become awesome when they drink enough?

If they are dependant on Alcohol then they need it to survive. This naturally gives them some resistance to it, and it will make them drink it daily, eventually giving them the same alcohol resistance of a Dorf. This is slower than you expected, will probably take a year or so, but it will have the intended effect.

You try to send a mass prayer to all Kobolds. You only get Driblis.

"Hello Beardbeard! Champion Driblis, ready for duty!"

>>5260147
>>5260156

Which is why we should enforce a "drought" apon BuzzardLoved.

>>5260168
Walk through the prayer door.

>>5260168

Errmm .. meh. Good enough.

"We gots some newz there me Champeon!"

>>5260168
'Hey, just saying, I made all kobolds dependant on alcohol, so be sure to drink plenty each day, and tell as many other kobolds as you can to spread the message that they now need booze. Also hey, you feel any stronger? SHOW ME YOUR STRENGTH!'

lets try to adjust that to just resistant; we like the Kobolds, and since they don't have brewers, being weaker and slower will really harm them. We don't want that. We just want some drinking buddies.

>>5260167
We are the god of strength and drunkedness. We can grant this boon to them.

Give driblis enough strength to bench press a dorf before he goes.

>>5260200
Right then, that idea is too awesome to pass up.

So, when Kobolds drink enough, to balance out sucking even more than usual when sober to long, they become capable of berserking, and having great strength, stamina and ability for war?

Hah, I can imagine a small tide of angry, drunken kobolds swinging weapons bigger than they are as they charge and decimate an elvish village.

It is adorable and awesome, adorsome.

>>5260200
>>5260167
Ding.

>'Ey Driblis, I should probably tell ye that ye need Alcohol now. Like, all kobolds do. Alcohol Dependant, ye are. So drink plenty o' ale, aye?
"Uhhh... Aye!"

rolled 7 = 7

>>5260228
Can we leave now?

>>5260228
FUCK YES THAT IS THE COOLEST KIND OF KOBOLD EVER

'Oh, and also ye'll get stronger an' more fearsome if yeh drink enough at once. Ye are all Beer Berserkers, the Kobold Beerzerkers. So yeah, practice that stuff. An' tell the other kobolds about it! Now, how strong are ye now that ye are me champion?'

rolled 1 = 1

>>5260247
Ives is the 7th city on the dorf quest 1d4chan article.

Oh god we've turned them into marauding booze bandits

>>5260271
I know, aren't you proud as hell?

Should we try to manifest to all kobolds ever, or would that be hard?

Do you think they'll figure it out on there own? Can our infinity general get to them all in time?

... poor drunkobolds...

>>5260182
>>5260190
>Also hey, you feel any stronger? Show me your strength!
"Yes sir!"

>>5260293

The strong will survive, it is the way of things.

>>5260277

Not really, no. The poor guys are already some of the most downtrodden and ill-respected creatures in this world, and we're doing nothing to better their lives, or enhance their civilization. We're not helping to add the worth to their lives that brave little guys like Drilblis deserve. We're just fucking around with them for our own sake. We should be ashamed of that, following what they've done for us.

"KoBold and the Beautiful!"

The powerful slash sends out an arc of energy, slicing right through the stone of the cave like putty.

>>5260293
I think we'll get the word out once we take back the mountainholmes and instate kobolds,nagas and giant spiders as full citizens.

and maybe elves if moradin is still alive..to piss him off.

>>5260314

Technically Beardbeard is Chaotic Evil, why on earth would he feel ashamed about something he personally thinks is cool, and when has he ever considered the consequences of his actions?

This is going to be classic.

>>5260330
MASTER SWORD

One last time

Sobriety for BuzzardLoved!

>>5260330
'Zehahahaha, nice. But what about ye, eh? How strong are ye? HOW HEAVY OF A THING CAN YOU LIFT!?'

>>5260330
Sweet.

>>5260314
We shall obtain the other two domains of beer, and give kobolds the gift of being the worlds best brewmeisters.

>>5260348
I would endorse that if I didn't know that BeardBeard would know exactly how much it would suck for those dwarves to go dry. I mean, some things are just low blows.

>>5260330
Yep

>>5260314
What are you talking about? We've given them the power to hulk out with beer. And in time, they'll be able to do that without even getting plastered off their ass, due to the immunity they've built up.
Plus, we've made Driblis the Hero of freaking TIME, with increased strength and an ability to carry infinite weapons. Whereas we can CONJURE infinite weapons. And he is tasked with protecting the Kobold race. That is what a Champion does: whatever we say, and we say it's his job to protect and bring glory to Kobolds.

... speaking of that, hm.
ASK DRIBLIS TO NAME A WEAPON. THEN CONJURE THAT WEAPON AND GIVE IT TO HIM.

CAN WE DO SOMETHING OTHER THEN TALK NOW?

>>5260379
10 Ask Driblis to name some weapon.
20 create weapon
30 give weapon to driblis
40 chug some ale
50 GOTO 10

>>5260339

Man, when HAVEN'T we? Garrelf, Heavycles, Sunbeard, Buzzardloved, our Army, Lolth, Satan, our mutations...

There have been almost no decisions we've made we HAVEN'T ended up regretting so badly we became a literal factual GOD trying to set them right.

Let's consider the consequences now, since we're finally working on a power level where we'll be hurting the entire world, instead of ourselves, our friends, our armies, or our nation.

>>5260403
Fuck that, lets try to fix our exposed lungs by mutating more.

>Zehahahaha! That's great! But how STRONG are ye? How much can ye lift?
"Beardbeard!"

>>5260416
Why not try fixing it in the God room or whatever?

we can't be hurt there, so we just keep mutating the lungs until they are good.

>>5260422
'Hey Presley. Oh, I'm the god of strength now, killed the last one. Just FYI.'

We need to get some.... what flower was it?

>>5260422

Presley, my man. Whats the good word?

We should probably provide our little kobold kingdom with lots of alcohol to get them started on this whole drinking thing.

We can do that, right?

>>5260488
Lilies.
Freshly cut ones in the middle, ranging out to freshly dead ones on the outer edge, seems to be the best bouquet we could get her.

>>5260488
Lilies. Hey, Presley's a bard. Ask him where we can find a field of them. We'll fill the Neutral Room with them.

>>5260488
>>5260501

Here is your answer

>>5260499
We can manipulate drunkness.

>>5260508
Oh god I can't stop laughing.

>>5260505
>Bard

>Witty wordplay

'eeeeeey.

>>5260508
Hopefully, that's not why Aldwin's supposedly going to be so pissed at us.

>>5260499
We need to get the domain of beer itself from the god of Nature.

>>5260564
Anything is a weapon.

We can make weapons from air.

Beer is 'anything'.

bam.

>>5260441
>I'm god of Strength now, just an FYI.
"I heard from Driblis! Oh congratulations, Beardbeard! That is so wonderful! I've been writing a song about you all night! And that food you sent just arrived yesterday. Good timing too, we were so close to out. I can not thank you enough. You're a true friend, Beardbeard."

>>5260564

I bet Satan would give us the domain of beer if we got that Djinn off of him.

>>5260584
From between the lines, I can read that Presley is anxious to have his kingdom. Are we finally going to conquer the place?

>>5260581
How do we weaponize beer?

I am really stoked to see what Driblis has been lifting while we weren't looking at him.

>>5260584
Does godhood give us the ability to make portals to anywhere? If so, we should probably move everything to Buzzardloved.

>>5260618
Beerhammer

>>5260618
'Beer with so much bite, it TEARS YOUR FACE OFF AND EATS YOUR ENTRAILS!'

How about like that, some sort of giant, fanged beer axe that eats the sober?

>>5260584
First thing: Let's talk tactics with Driblis. We should focus on taking Buzzardloved again. We should look and grab some more kobold tribes and have Driblis train them in warfare. Then we arm them by conjuring weaponry.

Oh, and after that, we can 'commision' a poem for Xan from Presley.
We might not be capable of witty wordplay or writing, but he might.

I know what we must do...what divinity does turning people into little girls fall under?

>>5260584
'Aye, consider it thanks for sticking with me for so long'

>>5260610
Soon. First, we'll get the god of Nature to give us the part of his divinity that governs the ingredients of beer. Then we can enforce sobriety on Buzzardloved, and invade while they're weak, to take both the mountainhome and the final part of the beer trinity from Moradin.

>>5260584
is...

is this what it's like to be hit with diplomacy cheese?

is he diplomancing his way into the good graces of beardbeard godbeard?

>>5260632
Good idea. Make a warhammer that we can channel intoxicating energy through. AND NO FUCKING MAULS IT HAS TO BE A WARHAMMER.

>>5260646
Xom has the polymorph domain.

>>5260619
>What Driblis has been lifting

>>5260684
We should ask Xom if we could have a little polymorph divinity...just a tiny amount.

>>5260684
AWESOME.

also: should we re-incarnate garrelf into kran's baby to fuck with her?

>>5260668
Double warhammer: one side sobers, one side inebrieates.

>>5260684
'Zehaha, good enough lad, now lets get you some ale!'

>>5260714

Plotted, twisted evil was more of Garrelf's thing

>>5260714
Leave Garrelf alone.

>>5260739
>>5260742
well, honestly, that's why I think garrelf would do it.

to fuck with krann.

>>5260751
Garrelf's soul is bound by Satan, so we can't do it anyway.

>>5260742
And leave Krann alone, for that matter.

>Aye, consider it thanks for sticking with me for so long.

You pat Presley on the back, then step out into the cold winter air.

New thread: >>5260849