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  • File : 1248367804.jpg-(182 KB, 700x501, dorf traditions.jpg)
    182 KB Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)12:50 No.5237253  
    We all know that dorfs have many traditions, facts and customs, some maybe alien and completely ridiculous.

    Let's invent some.

    - Ale beyond a certain lightness is seen as bad luck and is thrown into the deepest pits available.

    - Traditionally, a weak newborn is not fed with mother's milk, but a special drink of beer and crumbled stone with several spices. This is actually delicious and many people who imbibed it describe the taste as "medium rare steak with two baked potatoes".

    - Speaking of potatoes, dorfs have their own brand of this vegetable: It's very dense and lies in your stomach like a stone, just like they like it. The color is almost completely white because dorfs grow them underground.

    - Contrary to popular belief, dorfs are not grumpy all the time - they just have invented some very effective contraceptions about 600 years ago and never looked back.

    Your turn.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)12:58 No.5237319
    >>- Speaking of potatoes, dorfs have their own brand of this vegetable: It's very dense and lies in your stomach like a stone, just like they like it. The color is almost completely white because dorfs grow them underground.

    Should be a type of mushroom. Like, Ironcap Mushroom.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)12:58 No.5237320
    in many dwarven communities, when a bar brawl starts, there would be five seconds of peace where no one throws another punch, to quickly finish your beer or run away if you wish to do so, out of courtesy.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)12:59 No.5237326

    Alright. I'll bite.

    - When a son comes of age, its common in certain communities for him to have to finish an entire keg of mead on his own. The 'holy water' of his people blesses him and his body and hopefully brings him good fortune. If he doesn't finish every last drop without passing out or vomiting then he is shunned and outcast from the community.

    -Dwarven women do not have beards. Despite disparaging commentary from other races its often only a mean joke played by dwarves on non-dwarves who intend to pursue a relationship or marry a dwarven woman. The woman, usually at the behest of her father, will bring her suitor in and while behind a screen say that she has something to show him that a dwarven man would know. At which point she comes out with a full beard (Either with faux hair, or some sort of illusion effect). After the suitor is shocked or otherwise flabbergasted. The beard is removed and the family welcome him as one of their own. If he can take the joke that is.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:00 No.5237336
    Actually, scratch that. It could be both: A specially bred mushroom/potato, but still dense as all get-out.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:03 No.5237352
    Hey it's you! I haven't seen you for months!

    -No Dwarven home has rat or cockroaches infesting it. Ever. At least, as long as the occupants can still use a frying pan.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:03 No.5237353
    >Traditionally, a weak newborn is not fed with mother's milk, but a special drink of beer and crumbled stone with several spices.

    That's going to get pretty damn uncomfortable for the mother after a while. Pressure builds up!
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:04 No.5237358
    - Because of their unique biochemistry, it takes much stronger alcohol in larger quantities to intoxicate a dwarf to the same degree as other races. Most dwarven brews, while innately quite potent, are usually prepared and consumed more for their flavor than their ability to induce drunkenness.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:06 No.5237374
    For humans, sure. Maybe Dwarves aren't classified as Mammals, but are merely Humanoid Elementals?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:06 No.5237376
    Dwarf beards play an important role in their metabolism and the associated cells are surrounded with a dense nerve network. Pulling a dwarf's beard is dwarven equilavent to a kick in the nuts with comparable pain and is shunned in fights.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)13:09 No.5237413

    - Dorf mother's milk, when not used for its original purpose, is a highly sought after tonicum for weak and sick people among other peoples. Some even say it's a panacea for all kinds of ailments like asthma, rashes and migraines. Scientifically, it's very nutritious, but dorfs insist it's the secret to their long life.

    - Related information: 70% of dorf women don't have to get pregnant to lactate. Their milk is filled in bottles and sold as a snack in the streets. That way, the whole community can partake in the healthy benfits of their milk.
    For a human, this may seem perverse or unusual, but by dwarven logic "What makes a wee lad big and strong makes me big and strong also."
    Known side effects in humans include ADD and hyperactivity.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:09 No.5237415
    well, not exclusively, just for the first few days, to strengthen the child until it can suckle on its own.

    Speaking of which - as another sideffect of their unique biochemistry, a dwarven female, while nursing, does not produce milk of the same variety as other races like humans, but instead dwarven milk is richer, with a higher concentration of proteins, nutrients, fats, and other vital chemicals which, overall, causes it to rather strongly resemble eggnog in thickness, flavor, and alcohol content.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:10 No.5237425
    Do you have a place other then /tg/ where you post your work?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:13 No.5237448

    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:13 No.5237451
    That's silly, so dwarves would have hyper sensitive beards that could potentially cause them paralyzing pain if pulled? How do they protect themselves then, do they tuck it in their chainmail or have some sort of beard-armor?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:14 No.5237464

    I would live among dwarves without any regrets if this were true.

    I mean, I'd probably want to live among them already since I love working with my hands and I appreciate that down-to-earth sensibility you see among tradesmen and labourers, but this would be the icing on the cake.

    And I fucking LOVE eggnog.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:15 No.5237469

    >beard armor

    Fund it.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)13:17 No.5237483

    As much as it pains me to say it, Furaffinity.


    The beard are toughened up from years of abuse. That also means the hair is almost callous-like in consistency and often used by evil races to make ropes because of its almost weird toughness. It's well-known, that, upon first meeting dwarves, human explorers marvelled at the difference in texture of dwarven head hair and beard hair.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:18 No.5237491
    well, that guy was half-right. While pulling a dwarf's beard (which does not have to do with metabolism, BTW) does not provoke an actual kick-in-the-nuts pain reaction, it's treated with the same "cheating low blow" attitude with regard to fair fights.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:18 No.5237492
    dwarves are very sentimental with their tools,
    and usually fix their tools, to the extent, where it's really a new tool, rather than buy a new tool.

    Once a young dwarf enters a trade, say mining,
    he helps to forge his own tools for life.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:21 No.5237503
    How about making it a sensory organ instead? Kind of like a moles whiskers. Maybe they have poor eyesight from spending too much time underground. Not sure what female dwarves would have instead though, maybe potato-noses to represent a refined sense of smell?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:22 No.5237509
    when creating a new mine, or striking first of an un-striked mountain to mine it - many dwarves offer a large tribute to the mountain, hoping it would make the mine more bountiful.

    This tribute are usually food, sometimes trinkets and gold pieces, which are buried beside the entrance.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:22 No.5237515
    They are so tough they are unfazed by paralyzing pain.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:27 No.5237531
    Not much on there is there?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:27 No.5237537
    they don't have poor eyesight. D&D states they have darkvision/low-light vision. No molebeards.

    We're not recreating dwarves from scratch here, just expanding on ideas that already exist. Pay attention.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:28 No.5237543
    Tools can also be passed from father to son, and are believed to host ancestral spirits. When such an ancient tool is broken, rites are made to appease the first owner of the tool, of whom spirit dwelled within it. The broken parts are left in strong ale for a month to get the spirit sufficiently drunk and then the tool is fixed before the angry dwarf ghost notices what's going on.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:28 No.5237544
    Dwarves have three genders.
    Male, Female and Anvil.
    All three are part of creating a new dorf.
    After coitus, the female dwarf lies on the anvil while the male dwarf hammers her stomach, which transfers the strength of earth, stone and metal into the new dwarf. Over the next year or so, the female dwarf gains a rotund figure that humans might call "Barrel-chested". When the dwarf child is ready, the mother "Lays a Keg", which contains a young Dwarf (or an Anvil which grows as it is used) submerged in alcoholic amniotic fluid something like cider. This is handed out to the family when the dwarf child is named.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:29 No.5237547
    >>Ale beyond a certain lightness is seen as bad luck and is thrown into the deepest pits available.

    For some reason this made me imagine ancient, drunken ale aboleths who lurk in the beer pits of the dwarven strongholds.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:30 No.5237555
    That's so painfully stupid I cannot find words for it.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)13:30 No.5237556

    Awesome idea.

    Female Dwarfs, a bit like female humans, are covered in a fine, almost invisible fur that has the same effect?

    - Dwarven bones are about 170% more dense than a human's and are almost solid inside. No one knows yet why they aren't prone to breaking, but it is fact that even elderly dwarves suffer no fractures if they live in times without war. Paradoxically, traditional dorf medicine (TDM) is quite apt at fixing wounds and fractures, mainly using herbal beers and spirits to increase the natural healing factor and stout constitution of the dorfs.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:30 No.5237558
    Dude. No.

    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:31 No.5237563
    The Dwarven dialect spoken in public isn't really their racial tongue, they just thicken their accents to the point where no one but other Dwarves can understand them.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:32 No.5237573
    Dwarven bodies produce calcium and other bone-strengthening materials as a matter of course. This means that as a dwarf ages, their bones become much tougher even if they do not partake in bone-strengthening exercises. However, many ancient dwarves find their agility severely restricted by the dense calcified deposits on their bones.

    The punches of truly elderly dwarves break bones like a mace for this reason.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:32 No.5237574
    The best way to seduce a dwarf is to try and drink them under the table.

    You'll ultimately fail, but to them it's the thought that counts.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)13:34 No.5237582

    You have to register for the smut.

    >The punches of truly elderly dwarves break bones like a mace for this reason.

    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:35 No.5237586
    Dwarf religion is a combination of ancestor reverence and the worship of the Great Maker, who died during the age of creation. Worship consists of silent meditation in the deepest available chambers.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:35 No.5237589
    dwarves contrary to popular belief don't simply mine the earth to get precious metals and gems they are the side effect digging for dwarves is one of their religious acts similar to praying
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:36 No.5237591
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    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:37 No.5237600


    Totally fucking stealing this idea.


    Whatever happened to the HF account you had?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:39 No.5237606
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:39 No.5237607
    While crimes are rare in the clannish and familial Dwarven society, they do still happen. However, while dwarven courts and punishments echo those of other races very closely, they do not have a "death penalty" for particularly heinous crimes.

    Instead, the offender is shaven (beard if male, head if female) and banished from the clan. Such a severe stripping of personal pride and honor is seen as far worse that the blow of an executioner's axe.

    Paradoxically, in what seems to be some odd quirk of the dwarven mindset, by all current observations it seems a criminal thus punished will apparently refuse to allow the shaven hair to regrow, even continuing to keep it shorn clean years after their sentences have been initially carried out.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:44 No.5237634
    god all i can imagine now is a female dwarf dragging some poor barbarian off to bed while he is suffering from alcohol poisoning
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:44 No.5237635
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    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)13:44 No.5237637

    HF won't upload any pics from me. They say "The outlines are distracting", "Not good enough" etc. Fuck HF.

    - Dorfs not only like to drink, they also smoke. Preferably pipes. While never aquiring a taste for human tobacco or elven drug flowers, their own brand of "mushroom cut" is very popular. A wandering monk described it as "Heavy on the lungs, earthy, and quite tasty."
    Another popular brand is what seems like "dried ale cut into small pieces, the fabrication of which is a tightly guarded secret" (from "Dwarves and their genetic ingenuity" by Anonymous).
    It is seen as common courtesy to smoke a pipe upon visiting a dwarf.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:50 No.5237666
    Here we see an example of the ridiculous beliefs some have regarding dwarven culture and physiology, largely propagated by ignorance and lack of education.

    Such misinformation, many dwarves actually enjoy sharing with each other, and laughing about other races' mistaken ideas about their kind is regularly enjoyed by some dwarves, as sort of a subversion of stereotypical racist humor.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:50 No.5237669
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:57 No.5237709
         File1248371824.jpg-(231 KB, 846x832, NOBEARD.jpg)
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    This dwarf, for example, slew the son of a family friend while training him in proper axe usage. Though he claimed accidental death, the guardsmen's investigation presented as otherwise, and he was judged guilty, shaven, and banished. This was roughly twenty years in the past, yet he refuses to allow his beard to regrow, still adhering to the court's punishments years later.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:58 No.5237721
    Dwarven communities have only one police officer, known as the Keeper of the Hall. The Keeper's duties are few and fairly simple.
    -Chase after small offenders, only necessary if no other citizens are doing so.
    -Passing judgment and punishing criminals in front of a group of citizens. Punishment often involves removing whatever part of the body committed the crime (mostly hands, the occasional eye or other appendage).
    -Nail the offending limb to the wall of the Hall of Justice, a massive corridor that leads to the community's courthouse where the punishment of larger crimes are considered.
    -Lengthen the Hall of Justice should the walls ever become too crowded.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:59 No.5237730
    Sometimes dwarfs mine into large unfathomable huge tunneling worms. They are nutritious and tasty and are much like a forest in parasite coverings. The worm doesn't mind as long as they are not too greedy enough to cause an itch or heaven forbid a pinch.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:59 No.5237731
    This is vaguely interesting, and I wish to know more.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)13:59 No.5237732
    All those bearded warriors, heroes and craftmen the world knows are actually female dwarves. Males have a very delicate physique and other races would describe them as little girls. The women hide them, because they feel ashamed.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)14:01 No.5237750
    Despite the low, base image humans have of beer and ale, dwarves treat brewing as an artform in itself. The most famous breweries of the dwarves can be likened to famous human vineyards in the desirability (and expense) of the beers they produce. Of course, they might not be much sought after by the other races, given the gemstones dissolved in the alcohol, allegedly to improve the flavor. Of particular value are those made with rubies.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)14:02 No.5237754
    This pic interests me, and I wish to know more.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)14:05 No.5237780
    I thought Dwarf religion was all about minesign and the Things Tak Wrote?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)14:09 No.5237826
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    There is a hammerer who deals out justice.
    He is called the Hammerer.
    Pic related
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)14:14 No.5237857
    Holy shit AG, I thought you died.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)14:19 No.5237888
         File1248373187.jpg-(55 KB, 640x480, hugedorf.jpg)
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    Nah, just can't get my IMs to work. Damn Trillian.

    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)14:33 No.5237979
    written dwarvish is actually quite close to the language most humans use it's just they never show it and instead use an archaic form whenever they are writing something that would be seen by outsiders
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)14:40 No.5238021
    Dwarfs who live above ground grow quite tall for some reason.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)14:41 No.5238032
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    There was once a dwarven metalsmith, who after becoming one of the few survivors of a disastrously inopportune goblin fortress raid, took it upon himself to fend off the rabid invaders. Having already given out his finished weaponry to the falling guards, the smith pieced together the only thing he could think of at the time.

    Now, legend has it that this particular dwarf was actually very peaceful. Besides the mandatory military training when he reached adulthood, his life was focused on perfecting his craft. Stocky, bearded lives depended on it, you see. In fact, not once could this dwarf ever recall partaking in a fight, or bar brawl. Only long nights of hammering away at various metals filled the mind. So when this dwarf, so easily, picked up this weapon - so swiftly, gave it a few test swings, did he realize just how strong those toiling nights made him. The invading goblin army, of course, also came to realize this.

    There is still talk of a far away dwarven encampment, with a single weather-worn hammer struck into the ground in front of the main entrance. Not one dwarf there knows the meaning of the word "goblin".
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)14:43 No.5238042
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)15:09 No.5238232

    NOW we must archive this.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)15:12 No.5238250
    giving this a hammer bump
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)15:15 No.5238274
    It is a common misunderstanding that Dwarves spend all day at the bar. Due to most books on Dwarvish culture being written by humans, the only experience humans have is of dwarves in foreign lands.

    Truly, human ale is simply to weak to intoxicate a dwarf quickly. Thus, he must drink four times as much human ale as he would dwarvish ale.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)15:16 No.5238285
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)15:21 No.5238326
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    >Not one dwarf there knows the meaning of the word "goblin".

    Totally awesome man :O
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)15:27 No.5238381

    Missed you AG!

    Say hi once you get ICQ working again.. D:
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)15:42 No.5238536
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    Dwarven research and developments are only permitted on the highest level of the keep to prevent a cave in.

    Dwarven stair cases always have a slide on one side along the path to allow easy access when going down hill and allowing wheeled vehicles to pass.

    All Dwarven door open both ways to allow easy, pushing access. Dwarves have no time to dilly dally by pulling back the handle and going forward through a door.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)15:44 No.5238555

    Will do.

    Dwarves are actually pretty vain. The strive to pretty exactly fit into a mathematically deduced formula which first appeared in their statues:
    The ideal measurements of a dwarf male (as given from history) are as follows.
    Chest = height
    Waist = 60% of height
    Hips = 90% of height
    Upper arm = 80% of waist
    Forearm = Upper Arm
    Thighs and calves = 80% of waist
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)15:49 No.5238589
    Dwarves havve a vertion of meth made from adamantium
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)15:55 No.5238644
    Due to the aforementioned "calcifying" effect dwarves undergo as they age, even their flesh begins to harden as they approach death. Truly ancient dwarves appear to be made more of stone then meat, and those who die of old age often seem to have been replaced by identical stone likenesses.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:04 No.5238701
    Dorfs have never had a problem with homosexuality or people that are interested in other species. The latter never produces children, and is thus seen as harmless (if weird). The former is an eccentricity, and is tolerated as long as the dorf in question doesn't spend too much time staring at the nibbly bits of other dorfs.

    On a dorf's ninth birthday, he is given three presents. One is a small knife, upon which is engraved a family motto or blessing. This is kept until he reaches adulthood, when he carves the same motto on his hammer or axe (depending on the clan) and smashes the knife. The second is a bag of hops and grain, which the dorf will use to brew his first booze, with help from his parents. The third is a cookie. The cookie is delicious.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:13 No.5238743
    Dwarfs of truly awesome ability as will be treated to a special mineral ale in their late years effectively turning them to statues a week after their demise, these are later dressed in stonegarb and line the many hall of ancestors.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)16:21 No.5238800
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    Dwarvish hygiene, no matter how many jokes are cracked about it, is very throughough, but not exercised daily. Not surprisingly, as it takes almost 5 hours to carefully wash (in a bathtub of warm ale) and oil the skin (with a different ale) and wash and comb the hair, especially the beard.
    This kind of ale washing gives dwarven skin a healthy glow and, according to some, strengthens the immune system.

    However, being accustomed to a long ritual like this, most dwarves will shy away from pure, short water baths, insisting that they dry out the skin and hair, making it brittle and weak, especially if the water comes from the usual springs.

    Water from deep wells is tolerated as the earth, by dorf belief, lends strength to the water.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:21 No.5238803
    "Sand" and the term "sandy" while not considered actual curse-words, are considered vulgar terms and not used in polite company. A typical dwarf will look at a beach with revulsion similar to that if he was looking at a cesspool. Moreover, unless the detour would add years to the route, most dwarven trade caravans avoid taking routes through a desert if at all possible.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:28 No.5238856
    ...except, you know, it's a rocky dessert.

    similarly very few fortresses ever have ports, since it's very rare to find a seaside cliff both strong enough to be carved and next to a navigable fjord.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:32 No.5238887
    The Day of Mountain's Roots is one of the least talked about high holy days of the dwarves. It occurs one week after New Year's Day, and is spent in quiet contemplation of one's misdeeds and misconduct over the last year, in order to overcome them in the next. The next day is informally known as "Ale Day", and is traditionally spent at the pub, overcoming the sobriety and fasting of the previous day.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:32 No.5238889
    Because of their focus on the clan over the individual, dwarvish naming conventions can seem odd. The clan name is always first, followed by by the family name, followed by a changeable personal name. In truth, their personal names are more like nicknames or appellations used to describe a certain dwarf's accomplishments or characteristics, and can change multiple times over his/her life. Dwarves who frequently interact with other races often adopt a "face" name that never changes, which they use in their dealings with merchants and traders.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:34 No.5238898
    due to dorf's tend to stay away from water, due to the fact that they sink(due to their dense bones)
    also they shun water in it's liquid form for it makes their beers and ales worse, and it makes their beloved statures erode away
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:34 No.5238902
    Dwarf sweat if dried and distilled makes a salt rich in minerals.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:38 No.5238927
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    >>rocky dessert
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:38 No.5238934
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    And yet not one gold fact

    It is known that all dorf settlements have a horde of gold. This collective pile of treasure is seen as a sacred relic and is said to be watched over by dorfs that have died after their lives in the settlement. Stealing a dorf horde will result in the ancestor spirits becoming restless. As such no dorf has ever stolen a dorf horde. The only recorded attempted theft are by those of other races. Many people state that dorfs are seen as grumpy and callous around other races simply due to the fact that the dorfs think the other races are only planning to steal their horde.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:39 No.5238942
    calling a dwarf a pebble is considered a MASSIVE insult to a dwarf, unless it is part of a dwarf's name, it infuriates the insultee and his/her clan, dont try it, you will get you ass kicked sevenhundred ways in a row.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:40 No.5238950
    I like this.

    Human: "Why don't you like sand?"
    Dorf: "Eh they're like lil' puny rocks! They're rocks that gave up and let the elements turn them inta somethin' they ain't!"
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:42 No.5238965
    both of these result in the lack of any standing merchant fleet. dwarfs however DO know how to build ships, favouring short, wide vessels of square rigging known as "Stoutboats", they're not very fast, but are very stable, manoeuvrable and can sail in relatively shallow water.

    commonly a dwarven sailor is a shaven who has fulfiled his sentence but still feels he needs to atone, and thus volunteers for such an "undorfy" enveavour.

    ...just like every other sweat, except dwarf sweat can be used to polish metals
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:42 No.5238967
    likewise, "iron" is considered an endearing term. "Ironbeard" is used among dwarven couples in a similar manner to how humans use "honey" or "sweetie."
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:45 No.5239001
    Dwarves often see mountains as living things, much as those crazy elves see trees as living things. They hold a particular reverence for magma, which they call "the blood of the mountain." A fastness that finds a chamber of magma nearby is considered blessed, and will celebrate for a week before resuming normal work schedules. Similarly, iron is called "the bones of the mountain," and gold the "mountain's heart."
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:46 No.5239005
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    A male dorf's beard is a matter of personal honor. To be beardless is to be comparable to ronin samurai, except anyone can instantly identify your shame.
    >> Devilock 07/23/09(Thu)16:46 No.5239013
    Thread fuckin saved for AG and dorfdom.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:46 No.5239017
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    >>horde of gold
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:47 No.5239023
    oddly enough, dwarves enjoy music but tend to enjoy songs that use drums and loud sounding instruments.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:52 No.5239054
    Dwarves cultivate a root, which they refer to only as "chewing weed", which they frequently gnaw on. It is said to strengthen and whiten their teeth, as well as giving their breath a pleasantly minty scent.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:54 No.5239068
    dwarves believe that humans originated from a clan of dwarves that decided to worship fire instead of the earth, explaining the size and love of destruction that humans have to young dwarves
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:55 No.5239076
    they might not be too far off.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)16:55 No.5239081
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    They are especially renowned for their skill on a strange lute with strings made of thin, wiry steel.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)16:58 No.5239100
    in addition to what i said before, dwarves do not trust elves, because they believe that they worship the air, and due to air's uselessness to many of dwarven rituals, they see elves as useless,
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:00 No.5239116
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:02 No.5239126
    That's a good way to ensure thieves don't take your gold.
    Have the gold defend itself.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:02 No.5239132
    Dwarves have very sensitive senses of smell, to detect dangerous gases in their tunnels.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:03 No.5239140
    Dwarves have disdain fro artificial intelligence in their mechanical creations as they think it mirrors the overused and unstable magic constructs of the humans and the elves.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)17:04 No.5239147
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    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:06 No.5239164

    This is largely because of the connotation of pebbles being small and inferior, compared to the symbolic and literal vastness of size and strength belonging to the mountains so prominently featured in dwarven culture.

    Oddly, there is one occurence where the term is not seen as insult... it is often a playful term of endearment, to address a young dwarf as pebble, particularly one who either has not yet or only recently has completed their rites of passage into adulthood - this is equivalent to "kid", "junior", and othersuch nicknames given by other races, and is primarily done by dwarven elders, usually females, within one's own immediate family or close circle of friends.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:08 No.5239178
    - Dwarves, being the practical race they are, support abortion of unwanted children, and such; although it's not usual practice because of somewhat low birth rates.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:12 No.5239213

    As example, it would not be seen poorly for one's grandmother to say "Now then, pebble, what would yeh be wantin' for yuir birth-day gift next week, aye?" But for those same words to come from someone outside the family, even another dwarf of the same clan, would be considered quite rude, mostly due to the overt sense of familiarity it would imply the stranger had with the person being addressed.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:12 No.5239218

    I'm not entirely sure about this. Each new member can only strengthen the clan.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:12 No.5239224
    I don't think dwarves have any unwanted children.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)17:12 No.5239227
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    - A male dorf who can't cook and brew is seen as effeminate and childish.

    - Dwarf children (and also some adults) are terrified of visitors from other races who don't grow beards or - even worse - shave in public. It is highly recommended to let your facial hair grow when visiting dwarven cities.

    Elves don't count, as elves are strange and weird anyway, according to dwarves.
    >> Devilock 07/23/09(Thu)17:13 No.5239230
    Dat ain't water....
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:16 No.5239242
    however, wearing a fake beard in front of a dwarf might be seen as an insult.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:16 No.5239243
    Dwarves make armor out of rocksalt.

    it's canon now.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:19 No.5239273

    I would say, they don't a) even get many "unwanted" children, and b) the whole clan raises them, anyway.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:20 No.5239282
    >Dwarf children (and also some adults) are terrified of visitors from other races who don't grow beards or - even worse - shave in public.

    Might this be indirectly related to the "shorn banishment" punishment in dwarven culture for severe crimes, as seen >>5237607 here?

    That is to say, if you shave your beard, then you, from a dwarven perspective, look like a vicious criminal?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:23 No.5239311

    Another reason Dorfs stay away from water is because of a widespread belief in an ancient tale of a powerful Dwarf Thane who, after slaying tens of thousands of his clans enemies, was eaten alive by a ferocious school of carp.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:23 No.5239312

    Maybe not outright insult, but at least would be seen as mockery, unless said flase beard were of exceptional quality.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:23 No.5239319
    yeah, pretty much like that.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:26 No.5239336
    I wonder if you ever get young, rebellious dwarves shaving their beards, kind of like middle-class white kids who get gang tatoos? It probably wouldn't occur anywhere near as frequently, but it's something to think about.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:26 No.5239339


    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)17:27 No.5239350

    Probably. Basically a disfigurement.

    On a related note, dorf children aren't afraid that the Boogeyman will kidnap them, but the Beardless, an obviously racist amalgam of several other races.
    This story may be why some of the older, more superstitious dorfs refuse to trade with human cultures where shaving your face is the norm.

    - Dorf children are difficult to distinguish from muscular Halflings, except for their feet.

    - There is a growing dorf fetish among half elfs recently. Most dwarves eye them suspiciously.

    - Dorfs treat Halflings as you would treat a lazy but sweet cousin. And Halflings love Dwarven ale. So much, in fact, that they import it which is very expensive.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:27 No.5239352
    well seeing how "manly" that things is supposed to be I don't they would.

    it's would be chopping off your own balls. rebellious does have a limit
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:28 No.5239356
    >The color is almost completely white because dorfs grow them underground.

    Potatoes grow underground anyways, and they're not completely white...
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:29 No.5239362
    Male dwarves, as part of the grooming mentioned here... >>5238800 spend a couple hours each morning combing and braiding their beards.

    Females, lacking such elaborate facial tresses, similarly comb and braid the hair on their heads.

    For both genders, such ritual braiding is seen both as a means of improving one's appearance and also as a kind of inward-focused meditation, to cleanse the mind from the stresses and troubles of the previous day and night.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)17:30 No.5239371

    They're a mushroom anyway. Potato mushrooms.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:30 No.5239373

    but they will shave part of their beard, to grow it into a style. there are gangs of dwarven youths, and they differentiate from each other using their beards
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:32 No.5239390

    The amount of hair a visitor is expected to grow varies from clan to clan. Generaly those who have frequent contact with outsiders are ok with some thick stubble, styled facial hair like goatees or soul patches are also tolerated, although dorfs do consider it to be a bit of a half hearted effort. At the oposite end of the scale, the most isolated clans won't even speak to other races unless their necks are completely hidden by a long beard (real beard only, neck beards are cheating).
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)17:33 No.5239395
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    Eating a cooked or broiled carp is the usual for many dorfen festivals. The animal is seen as manly and dangerous and thus, eating it will make a dwarf manly and dangerous.

    A bit like eating a bear or lion for humans.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:34 No.5239402

    Some gangs also use dye or hair gel.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:34 No.5239403
    Tg this is one of the best threads I've read in a lonnnnnnnnnnnng time.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:35 No.5239411

    Potato tubers put out leafy plants to photosynthesise and pollinate.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:36 No.5239420
    And in that same vein of thought, there should be some underground creature that is widely feared or considered dangerous to humans (and halflings) that dwarves consider utterly harmless, and would laugh if someone shied away from one.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:37 No.5239431
    Indeed. Do archive it.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:38 No.5239439
    Ya don't want to mess with the Spired gang.
    They's one of the toughest around, ya know.
    A lot of 'em are fairly rich and tough bastards.
    you can tell if someone's Spired 'cause they gel their beard into one big spike.

    trust me. you don't want to get stabbed with that thing.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:38 No.5239441
    A female dwarf's breast milk is actually 20 Proof.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:39 No.5239444
    the tunnelling worms >>5237730 mentioned, they seem harmless unless poked, which is likely to me a humans first reaction.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:39 No.5239446

    Unless you are a female or an elf, and thus incapable of growing facial hair, it is considered a deep insult to approah a dwarven settlement with wishes to begin a trading route or diplomatic alliance with a smooth face and bare chin.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:40 No.5239457
    They're bloody mean in a fight!
    if there's two of em, they get one with the hardest beard,
    and the other throws him up, so he can spike someone with it.
    My friend lost his arm because he got caught up in a fight with em.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:43 No.5239477
    What about...female elves? Do they get special treatment?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:44 No.5239482

    Acording to Roman historians Some Celt tribes used a kind of hair gel that was so strong they could impale apples on their hair. Imagine what dorfs could do.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)17:47 No.5239508

    "They're the weirdest of them all. Look at them, thin like an earthworm and huge jugs. They gotta break in the middle when the wind blows outside, I tell ya!"
    "What's a wind?"
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:48 No.5239514
    Yes. It's called "banishment on sight" and is traditionally enforced with violence.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:48 No.5239516
    What soup do dwarves eat?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:49 No.5239519

    Unknown. There are no records of elven females being the ones to make first voluntary contact with a dwarven settlement - normally only males and females of other races, and the occasional elven male have done so. As a whole, however, dwarves and elves share a kinda of mutual animosity that, while not hate, is nonetheless a dislike severe enough that they usually avoid each other when possible, so the likelihood of this statistic changing is not very high.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:50 No.5239534
    stone soup
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:55 No.5239563
    that's because some of their customs are almost exact opposites,and they're both stubborn like a soldered bolt.or stubborn as blackwillow gum, as elves say
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:56 No.5239577
    >stone soup
    Literally so - the stone in this case being a very finely powdered pumice which, while nutritionally useless, aids in digestion and in cleansing the body of toxins not unlike a high-fiber meal for other races.

    On a slightly-unrelated note, misinterpreted analysis of dwarven... leavings... by outsider races who have come across campsites where this soup was consumed have led to the inaccurate belief by some races that dwarves, quite literally, shit bricks.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:56 No.5239585
    I think the question should be, "Why do dwarves and elves share a mutual animosity?" They do not war over land; what one would view as desirable the other sees as barren. Perhaps it is because the elf exalts the individual while the dwarf exalts the clan. Perhaps it is a matter of ideology and religion, both venerating things the other disdains. Or, given their impressive record-keeping, it could all boil down to some perceived slight that occurred millennia ago. Personally, I favor the last, as it feels the most pointless.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)17:57 No.5239590
    I lol'd.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:00 No.5239607
    Perhaps it might even be some of all of these theories, combined into one larger cause.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:02 No.5239626
    Despite the general hatred that goes on between Dwarves and the Goblinic races (such as Orcs or Goblins), it's not unusual for an Orphaned infant of either race to be adopted by them (This happens with Humans and Elves occasionally, but only in some settlements that aren't on trade routes with them). They are raised very similiarly to a Dwarf, but in some places are barred from certain religious events (except anything that involves drinking.) and Generally don't take up a Trade, usually working as an assistant during times of peace, or a Bar Bouncer.
    This has lead to the use of phrases like:
    "Dwarf in all but height."

    Of course when there are invaded by Goblinic races the Dwarven raised Orcs are expected to fight for their adopted clan and generally do.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:06 No.5239653
    once, way back when their different goals kept them close but separate an elf treeheherder and a dwarven pumicemaiden fell in love and fled together. this was a great shame for both parties and as they accused each other of witchcraft and rape the seeds of distrust took ground.

    their children were the first humans.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:10 No.5239684
    Tolkein said it was because an Elf would always make fun of a Dwarf's beard.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:13 No.5239706
    Gonna have to /r/ more drawf tits.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:13 No.5239714
    If that were true, half-dwarfs would be possible, but they aren't. Humans are obviously extremely mortal elves.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:14 No.5239718

    An interesting sidenote of this is that, for some clans at least, Orcs and their kin are largely seen only as enemies on the battlefield, where even there they are given some measure of respect, in the sense of one soldier towards another, despite they and the Dwarf being enemies; and quite often the Orc, particularly among those tribes with more cilivized leanings, returns this "professional courtesy".

    It is not uncommon for Orcs and Dwarves to challenge each other off the battleground as well, often in feats of strength or endurance, each seeing the other as one of the few capable of being their equal in such aspects.

    Primarily, however, these challenges take the form of drinking contests, and considered the amount of alcohol either race can consume, it is the foolish tavernkeeper indeed who does not welcome such challenges, as the numbers of drinks bought by both contestants and spectators alike often mean immense spikes in personal profit.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:15 No.5239728
    Earthquakes are caused by the spilling of liquor. The mountain will slowly absorb alcohol, get drunk, and lose its footing, causing an earthquake.

    One of the few common grounds between Elf and Dorf societies is alcohol. Some Elven communities produce a wine made from the very worst of grapes; it tastes earthy and bitter, and elves prefer bubbly wines. The dwarves naturally like it, but usually refrain to only one glass a year.

    You can usually tell a dorf's age by how empty or full their elf-wine barrel is.

    Dorfs view volcanoes as dying mountains; burnt, scarred, and bleeding lava.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:16 No.5239732

    >dwarves, quite literally, shit bricks.

    I lol'd, quite a lot.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)18:17 No.5239744
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    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:18 No.5239752
    If a dwarf is not exposed to enough alcohol and too much sunlight when he is young, his beard will never grow but his height will increase and his ears will become pointed.
    These freaks are driven from the fortress to live in the forests with others of their kind.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:19 No.5239761

    Glorious. Any more in the quality of the first pic? Clothed or unclothed.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:19 No.5239765
    Before picking up their crossbow, marksdwarfs vow a shot of liquor for every bolt missed to preserve dwarfniess and appease their elders.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:20 No.5239773
    So...how do I make a dorf woman fall in love with me again?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:20 No.5239775

    Celts and Picts used lye to stiffen their hair, which would make it blonde, and would occasionally dye the hair (alone with their face) with woad - a blue dye.

    Classical Historyfag here.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:21 No.5239784

    At least, this is a campfire story the dwarf elders tell to frighten the young.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:22 No.5239787
    >Earthquakes are caused by the spilling of liquor. The mountain will slowly absorb alcohol, get drunk, and lose its footing, causing an earthquake.

    I lol'd so goddamn hard.
    >> Dorf Lore Putin-San 07/23/09(Thu)18:23 No.5239798
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    When a young Dorf grows his first chin hair, there is family celebration This hair marks the young dorfs first step into adulthood. Family, friends and elders gather and open a cask of ale that has been aging since the dorfs birth. The young adult always takes the first drink on their beardmitzvah. The following night is filled with family legends and stories passed down through generations.

    Some traditional beardmitzvah gifts:
    A finely engraved and polished brush
    Braiding rope
    Special lather made of a mixture of iron, mushroom, and ale that encourages hair growth.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:24 No.5239801

    Problem being that these contests between Orc and Dwarf can often drink the bar dry.

    This is generally not a good thing for the owner.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:26 No.5239816

    so..dwarves are jew, elves are nazi?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:28 No.5239826
    Only if he is understocked to begin with - which is a rare thing for the cunning tavernkeeper who regularly has either race as repeat customers.

    Even so, in the rare chance his casks are depleted, the resulting profits are usually more than plentiful enough to restock his supplies and still have ample coin for his own pockets afterwards.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:30 No.5239843
    fuck yes.
    >> Putin-San 07/23/09(Thu)18:30 No.5239845
    A new fad has arisen in this generation of Dorfs. Rather than adopting cats, or other local fauna as pets they've taken to sending traders to find "Guinea Pigs" small mammals several inches long and wide.

    It is rumored that the dorfs carry these pets within their beards and armor as a constant traveling companions. The pigs make small burrows in hair and cloth and absorb the body heat of the dwarfs keeping them comfortable in the harshest of climates.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:31 No.5239849
    No. The word used for the ceremony is purely in the dwarven tongue, and has no equivalent translation in common speech, but "beardmitzvah" is a close approximation for the pronunciation of the word if not necessarily the meaning.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)18:34 No.5239860
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    Duplicate file entry, should be around.... somewhere.

    On the topic of desert dwelling dorfs:Sometimes, it can't be helped. Try to wear something that keeps out the sand without being too warm. And guinea pigs.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:35 No.5239866
    >Even so, in the rare chance his casks are depleted, the resulting profits are usually more than plentiful enough to restock his supplies and still have ample coin for his own pockets afterwards.
    If he somehow survives the now enraged, aleless Orc and Dwarf.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:36 No.5239871
    There are however occasional problems with raising Orcs or Goblins as family members, espicially if there's common trade with Humans and Elves. even worse if Paladins are involved.

    Usually whenever Humans arrive in a dwarven settlement, any and all Orcish or Goblin kin are sent away temporarily, usually to somewhere safe. It's a very painful thing to explain to younger Orcs why their bearded Kin get to meet the Humans in nice Armor but they don't. Generally though this conversation doesn't happen until they're considered mature enough by their adopted families.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:39 No.5239883

    Give credit where credit is due. This one is one of Terry Pratchett's. From Soul Music to be precise.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:39 No.5239885
    The only known situation in which a dwarf and orc will work alongside one another is in a booze-induced, rage-fueled sacking of the town's taverns in search of more liquor. Ironically, this is only done so that they may continue competing with each other.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:41 No.5239896

    Usually by then both contenders are too inebriated to pose much threat - neither race, due to personal pride and respect for alcohol, often issues a drinking-contest "on the spot", instead making the challenge a bit more formally, either for later in the same day or sometimes the next day, to give themselves time to psychologically prepare (usually with more drinking). The wise tavernkeep uses these few extra hours of "prep time" to ready his own stocks - not many brewmen are without a special hidden supply of casks specifically set aside just in case of an orc-dwarf drinking contest.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:55 No.5239965

    As such, volcanoes are given particular respect among dwarven religious rites; while they may be "wounded and dying", such a "death" takes an incredibly long time, and is full of violent death-flailings and lashing-out - this is seen as a symbol of fearless tenacity and refusal to give in even in the face of death. It is not uncommon for dwarven warriors to decorate their armor with engravings of volcanoes, in symbolic hopes that the volcano's same will and ferocity will be part of themselves while in battle.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)18:55 No.5239971
    archive this shit!
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)18:59 No.5239995
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    Dwarven adventurers can get grumpy and prone to muscle soreness (especially in the back for females) after weeks without ale. This can happen in the wilderness or in dungeons, but in the end, the dwarf always spends many coins to recover from such an extreme experience as soon as he sees a tavern.

    It is seen as extremely impolite if you, as a party member, don't join him in drinking. A friendly offer of a healing spell is mostly refused, except in the most dire circumstances. After all, there is no substitute for ale.

    It is also not unusual for waking up in awkward situations after such a binge. Especially elven adventurers prefer not to speak about this.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)19:02 No.5240012


    Already have.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)19:04 No.5240030
    They also avoid burnt-out volcanoes much as humans avoid graveyards. To them, a dead volcano is a melancholy place, and while some make pilgrimages to them to pay their respects, few remain overlong. Apart, of course, from the dwarves who live their.

    Dwarves never build their strongholds in the calderas of dead volcanoes. Some clans will build nearby, to act as wardens and gravekeepers, and while they are greatly respected by their fellow dwarves, they are universally regarded as being a bit off because of their constant exposure to death.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)19:10 No.5240083
    A dorf's tool are considered part of the dorf himself, and a dorf would never use another dorf's tools, especially if he has passed on.

    Dorfs are buried with their tools and a weapon.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)19:10 No.5240085
    Was actually talking about 4chanarchive.com
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)19:13 No.5240103
    Sup/tg/ is superior, 4chan archive is a piece of shit.

    You must be new here to not know this.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)19:18 No.5240142

    Indeed. While dwarves, for the most part, do not follow any "elemental" worship such as shamanism (though a few more-secluded clans practice a kind of pseudo-shamanistic religion based around spirits of earth and fire), they hold ancestry and the spirits of past clan-brothers and clan-sisters in reverent regard; and to dwarves, an extinct volcano is a kind of sacred site, where ancestral spirits are believed to gather most easily, due to the tie between the mountains of the living and the realms of the dead.

    Nothing, not spoiling of ale, not breaking of tools, not even cutting off one's beard, can drive a dwarf to rage and righteous fury than to learn an extinct volcano has become a dwelling-place for monsters, demons, or other malevolent beings - it is defilement of holy ground to them, a desecration of the highest order, and one of the very very few things in the dwarven mindset that truly is only punishable by the death of the offender.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)19:26 No.5240198
    Not exactly new, just a lurker who only read certain threads.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)19:32 No.5240231
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    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)19:40 No.5240285

    Source on these
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)19:41 No.5240292
    The guy posting them, newfag.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)19:42 No.5240302

    Do you see this person called Awful Good? Yeah. She draws pictures.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)19:43 No.5240307
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    >> - !us8yDerpTM 07/23/09(Thu)19:43 No.5240311
    Awful good, you damn slack jawed derptard.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)19:44 No.5240316

    Don't be silly. Tools and weapons are passed on from father to son and usually become family heirlooms.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)19:46 No.5240326
    Wait, wait. When did AG become a reverse trap?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)19:47 No.5240331

    yeah, awful is quite hot and lovely looking whit those cocksucking lips, but it's a he.
    >> Lion'el Richie !HdbvGtoIhw 07/23/09(Thu)19:49 No.5240340

    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)19:50 No.5240343
    This is true also. Normally, however, such a thing is only for dwarves who die of old age, not in combat. Those who fall in battle, more often than not have their tools and weapons buried with them, as a sign of respect and honor for their sacrifice, even if they have children.
    >> Lion'el Richie !HdbvGtoIhw 07/23/09(Thu)19:54 No.5240356

    The bad awwww, by the way.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)19:55 No.5240359
    in which case it's their closest relative the one who donates the tools, be that the mother, older sibling or (in extremely rare cases, like after invasions) a faraway cousin.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)19:55 No.5240361
    a standard "shrine" for a lost husband/family member, is a simple picture and a lock of hair, which is usually from the beard if male.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)19:56 No.5240364
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    There is an unsurprisingly large number of paladins among dwarves. After all, in the dwarven mind, being a stalwart defender of order is a great job. Even paladins of other races are warmly welcomed, because they know how to behave themselves (even elves).

    Sometimes, though, even they get scratched a bit.

    Dwarven paladins tend to drink and eat just as much as an ordinary dwarf and because of that, ascetic orders are almost unknown among them. A certain quirk, however, is that they see themselves as a bit of a father figure to other paladins.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)20:05 No.5240413

    Indeed, dwarven paladins and monks (a rare but still notable number of the latter do exist, despite claims otherwise) are rather unique in that, unlike their counterparts of other races, they do not deny their physical urges, refusing vows fasting, sobriety, or celibacy that other races might adopt as part of their devotions. To a dwarf, while such denials might aid in further strengthening the mind and spirit, they weaken the body, and in the dwarven mindset, without a strong body, the strength of mind and spirit have no real meaning regardless of how great that strength may be.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)20:10 No.5240438

    Instead of fasting, dorfs use an ale cleansing. Imbibed then is a special strengthening ale and the calories drunk in these days often exceed the numbers on days when the dorfs eat normally. Because of this, the dwarves don't call this a fast, but rather a cleansing.

    The only downside is that this strengthening ale is of such richness and thickness that any other race would find it revolting and would be hard pressed to keep it in their stomachs for even a short time. Rumors of its ingredients abound, going from the absurd to the borderline insane.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)20:13 No.5240454
    in fact, it's only highly concentrated and consecrated.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)20:14 No.5240465
    whilst dwarves see elves as useless and unstable due to their association with air, the dwarves see mankind as good friends, a common dwarven saying (about a dorf woman marrying a human) is "A human is like a smelting fire, with a good one, you can create something worthy, but a bad one will only make sorrow
    >> plaguemarine !1nhvsU2lj6 07/23/09(Thu)20:24 No.5240516
    bump, another topic worth archiving
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)20:29 No.5240528
    Dear god more dorf girls.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)20:31 No.5240544

    And as dwarven brews are typically more potent than those of other races to begin with, such distillation and refinement leaves the final product with a very distinct (yet not wholly unpleasant) aroma, and a slightly-thicker than-water consistency.

    Outsiders have described this "cleansing ale" as "resembling clarified melted butter in appearance, and with the strong scent of stale honey and damp hops".

    The potency of this brew, as well as the ritualistic nature of its consumption, however, means no outsider has been permitted to taste it; dwarves' only remark in the flavor of it is to claim that it is irrelevant, meant to purify the body, not indulge the tongue.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)20:34 No.5240562
    Homosexuality isn't an issue because dwarves see all sex as, above all, private. No dwarf would ever dream of asking what other dwarves are doing together behind closed doors, no matter what their genders are or how much time they spend together. Even heterosexual couples only marry if they're planning to start a family, because that's the only reason their relationship would need validation from the community.

    This is probably a good thing, since dwarves are so stubborn that telling another dwarf to leave their lover couldn't possibly end well.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)20:39 No.5240594
    Dwarf courtship centers around both partners exchanging gifts - almost always handmade items that demonstrate skill at mining and metalworking. Offering a gift that you bought, or even one made from storebought raw materials, is a serious insult.

    Dwarves being supremely practical, money is an acceptable gift (though less impressive than handcrafted items). It is, however, a GIFT - feeling entitled to sex from a dwarf lady just because she accepted your pile of gold will not go well.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)20:41 No.5240610

    Oddly, despite their behind-closed-doors views on sexuality, they have no problems with public nudity, and indeed most dwarven cities have at least one gender-desegregated public-bath area (usually warmed by geothermal heat). However, between the hot metal and flying sparks of the everpresent forge and hearth, and the cold climates common to mountainous regions, it is not often one would see a dwarf walking around in the nude, due to the need for clothing as protection from the elements and as safety-measures.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)20:45 No.5240633
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    Dorf Rogue.

    Dwarves don't look to kindly on rogues, but a dwarf in a faraway land, down on his luck, can do a lot with his nimble fingers and strong shoulders. Indeed, dwarves are surprisingly good climbers and some do make a living on climbing into other people's house, pick the lock and escape with many valuables.

    Needless to say, other dwarves don't speak about them too much, even if some of those rogues can become quite famous, not only because they hide a great agility in their stocky bodies.

    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)20:48 No.5240640
    Mind you, it's not because dwarves are a prudish race. They just feel that inquiring into the private affairs of others is extremely impolite, because of how much time is already given to the clan. Each dwarf gives most of his life to the clan, so anything they do on their own time is their business, not to be interfered with by others so long as it doesn't threaten the safety and stability of the stronghold.

    In fact, some more licentious minds have suggested that dwarves are demons in the sack. Not that I would say something like that. I just heard it from some guy.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)20:49 No.5240641
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    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)20:50 No.5240644

    Of course, this reluctance to speak of them, like many things, comes back around to matters of honor. The underhanded and sneaky methods of most rogues are seen as deceptive and dishonorable, and reflect poorly not only towards the dwarf himself, but to a lesser degree towards his family, clan, and in some closed-minded circles even his entire race.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)20:52 No.5240653
    Dorfs are always buried with a weapon of some sort, so the deceased may fight off any hostile spirits in the afterlife. They don't really believe in them, but they're not sure if the spirits believe in it.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)20:53 No.5240660

    Sorry man, I don't think I can top that gal.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)20:55 No.5240666
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    I gotta quick question. Given all these female dorf pictures, are female dorf just natural chubby or is there some kinda spiritual meaning behind, like "A Dwarfish woman's beauty can be measured by her waistband?"
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)20:55 No.5240671
    Dwarven bread is hard, durable, long lasting, and completely inedible. Instead it is used as a weapon.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)20:58 No.5240681
    It's not fat, it's muscle.

    Dwarves are stout fellows.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)20:58 No.5240682

    I think super muscular, stocky men equal super curvy, chubby women.

    A healthy figure is beauty ideal for dwarfs. It is fortunate that their natural build is like that anyway. It only begs the question: Are dorfs tit men or ass men?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)20:59 No.5240686
    Dwarven females actually do have long beards, and are clad in leather and chainmail armor like most other dwarves.

    Most of dwarven courting is tactfully finding out the sex of the partner.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:00 No.5240691
    Dwarves in my games are basically discworld dwarves.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:00 No.5240693
    Due to an ancient curse, only a quarter of Dwarven births are female. The resulting population imbalance has the following side effects:

    - There is considerable competition among dwarf males to be worthy of a bride, who's family must be impressed by his brave deeds, feats of skill, and/or the weight of his gold. Many dwarfs start adventuring careers just for this reason.

    - Children are raised communally by the clan "uncles," since most of them won't have the opportunity to have pebbles of their own.

    - Traditionally, females are strongly protected, to the point of not even being allowed out of the clan hall. Since they share their brother's pride and courage, this chafes many of them the wrong way. It was not until the she-dwarf Mithra Blackhammer, a natural born warrior, single handedly defended the final gate of her clan during the goblin siege of 3088 when all of her male brethren were slain, that females were grudgingly allowed to join the militia and adventuring parties. Feminist dwarves still wear false beards in her honor.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:01 No.5240697

    I won't fault you for trying :3
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:03 No.5240722
    I was totally with you until this last one. I've always viewed dwarves as a very "equal" society--at least, when compared to other races--where women warriors and artisans are valued just as much as their male counterparts. I also think it was mentioned earlier in this thread that males are expected to be competent cooks and brewers, which I likewise agree with.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:04 No.5240724

    The dwarven physique, for both genders, tends toward stockiness and generous measurements - barrel chests, broad shoulders, thick arms, and sturdy legs for the males; and ample bosoms, thick waists, wide hips, and round rumps for the females.

    While, with a particular diet and exercise regimen, it would be theoretically and technically possible for a "thin" dwarf woman to exist, in much the same way that it would be technically possible for a "fat" elf to exist, none of either have ever been seen, and the requirements to produce them would leave the subject dangerously unhealthy with regard to the norm for their race on both cases.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:05 No.5240734
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    >Feminist dwarves still wear false beards in her honor.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:07 No.5240744

    Yeaa- no. Try again.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:10 No.5240763
    /r/ dorf woman busting out while a dorf man looks on amazed.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:15 No.5240793
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:16 No.5240804

    Dude, you seriously need to switch to decaf, like, yesterday.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:19 No.5240823
    You're thinking of 40k orks. Which, oddly enough, is something we're not talking about in this thread.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:21 No.5240836
    http://www.Anom - m + nTalk.com/
    > f gfvy2hjbpm
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:27 No.5240866

    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:30 No.5240880
    Awful Good, as odd as it may be, would it be possible to /r/ a male dorf being properly manl- I mean, Dorfy?
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)21:32 No.5240889
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    Ok last one. My hands hurt from clenching the pen.
    >> Scribble 07/23/09(Thu)21:35 No.5240911
    Okay, this is how I homebrew my dwarves:

    Dwarves have two languages, High and Low Dwarven. This distinction is mostly recognized by other races and the Dwarves just call it all 'Dwarven.' Low Dwarven can be called grunts, one-word phrases and soundless gesturing when possible. High Dwarven is considered, even amongst the vain High Elves, to be the most beautiful language ever. It is not simply spoken, it is sung in an opera fashion. It used at special events, grand speeches or simply to get your point across. Dwarves do not use it lightly and you can lose their respect by using it lightly yourself.

    Dwarves are very vain about their hair, but also practical about that vanity. Dwarf males usually go bald atop the head, so put more effort into their facial hair. Some grow it long, like some woman would, but it is not wrong to cut it short, style, etc. Dwarf women apply the same thing to their own hair.

    Their are several sorts of Dwarves, Hill Dwarves, Mountain Dwarves and Deep Dwarves. Hill Dwarves are most likely to live in the cities and get along with other races. They do not pray to the same gods as the other variants. Very liberal and like the other shorter races, party goers. Mountain Dwarves are xenophobic and isolationists and just want you to stay the hell out of their mountains. Deep Dwarves worship the Bearded One fanatically. Even their women grow beard. Groups of humans and orcs are conquered by them and their men must grow beards and their women hide their beardless faces in shame. They have declared a holy war against elves.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:36 No.5240924
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    AG if I clench your pen will you draw more for us?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:38 No.5240935
    Awful, do you have a deviantart or some other online gallery where I can love you forever?
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)21:44 No.5240969
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    Ok I suck at chainmail without tones lol. LAST ONE this time.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)21:47 No.5240981
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    No, I'm done for, sorry. And Furaffinity (look for AwfulGood) is the page.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:49 No.5240995
    thats not porn. You worthless piece of shit, you're not here to draw retard shit. You're here to draw us porn.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:50 No.5241008
    man, shut it.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:51 No.5241012
    awful good did you do drawn-chan?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:52 No.5241023
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    Dwarven sayings:

    "It cost an arm and a leg to make" - It had to be built quickly and recklessly.

    "Fire until you see the whites of their eyes" - When to stop firing the cannons and draw the axes.

    "All that glitters is not gold" - One should strive for balance and not focus on one thing.

    "Home is where the heart is" - Always protect the clan fortress.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:53 No.5241026
    Nice. Thanks!
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:55 No.5241035

    >> Fire until you see the whites of their eyes

    I can't tell if you intentionally butchered that quote or not, cause you completely changed its context.
    >> Awful Good 07/23/09(Thu)21:57 No.5241047

    It's a dorf!




    Dorf slang time!

    "hardstone" - a positive, all useful adjective like awesome. "This is a hardstone fortress, god damn." or "You got hardstone tits!"

    "elvish" - looks pretty but it's not useful to the task. "The way you use that sword is pretty elvish".

    "gob work" - something that looks like it's made of trash by an untalented artisan. May or may not work. "Be careful with that hammer, it's gob work." "That house looks like gob work."
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)21:57 No.5241050
    Pretty sure he did it intentionally since he inverted the meaning.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)22:06 No.5241081
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    I butchered and changed pretty much all of them. That's kind of the point.

    Actually now that I think about it. And this is a bit of an out there thing... but as everyone may or may not know, that horrible Australian spread known as Vegemite came originally from the leftover bits from brewing.

    So here's a question.

    Would Dwarves have their own type of Vegemite?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)22:09 No.5241094
    more dwarf sayings:

    "sturdy like a pumice anvil"- something made of the worst possible materials.

    "don't let the shaven get you"- word of caution for the kids, refering not only to the criminals and gangs, but also to outsiders.

    "menaces whit spikes of..."- "I felt like making it pretty"
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)22:10 No.5241100
    Chaos Broker can suck it
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)22:15 No.5241132
    you win one internet, thanks for expanding on my idea.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)22:29 No.5241236
    "A dwarf is violent when oppressed, and gentle when free.. unless an elf is nearby."

    "Elves will end up dying of comfort."

    "The most beautiful sculpture is a paving stone thrown at a elven head."

    "Imagination is not a gift, it must be conquered."

    "You can’t buy happiness. Forge it with your own hands, in the heat of your desire."
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)22:29 No.5241240
    no more ideas?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)22:34 No.5241262
    Thank you, however I'm going to delete that post and retype it here, because my spelling was embarrassingly shit.

    >>dwarves believe that humans originated from a clan of dwarves that decided to worship fire instead of the earth, explaining the size and love of destruction that humans have to young dwarves

    Likewise, dwarves believe that elves originated from a clan of humans that forsook the worship of fire for air. This is beleived to be the reason behind elven nimbleness, fraility, and wanderlust. Since humans first came from dwarves and elves first came from humans, elves are considered twice removed from dwarven roots.

    This belief plays a roll in why dwarven relations with the elves are traditionally poorer than they are with humans.

    Additionally, there is a belief amoung (very few) dwarves that elves are faithless and cursed. This is based on the idea that elves not only abandoned the worship of one element--like humans,--but two.

    More extreme dwarven cults believe that during the end times the elves will abandon worship of the air as well. Legends say that after this happens, a great gust of wind will carry the elfs into the sea; as water will be the only element they have not offended.

    This belief is very controversial, and polite dwarves do not discuss it all. The exception to this are dwarven theologists and philosophers. Even amoung those dwarves, the "elven abandonment" is mostly considered to be apocryphal.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)22:35 No.5241274
    Dwarves that are in love with one another will enter what is called a Beard Bond (it involves a ceremony in which the dwarves involved with cut off a small lock of hair from their beard to be weaved into the beard of the dwarf they are bonding with). Beard Bonds may be born of either deep mutual admiration or romantic love.

    The dwarven embalming process, instead of simply preserving the deceased, gives the individual a stonelike appearance and hardness.
    >> Devilock 07/23/09(Thu)22:39 No.5241303
    Bump for the best art all summer. This thread is incredible.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)22:41 No.5241311
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    >> metalmetroid 07/23/09(Thu)22:43 No.5241323
    most dwarves that live in big cities, for one reason or other, tend to do jobs close to the earth, or just start digging into the earth, usually without causing problems with the sewer systems, the largest recorded one was 8 miles into the earth along with various murals created by wandering ratkin.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)22:53 No.5241399
    Apparently you haven't Greg Mustache's art yet.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)22:58 No.5241441
    Stonemash: An important staple food for dwarves. It's mushrooms, potatoes, and cave grain, cooked and then mashed up, occasionally topped with a dusting of powdered stone or just salt. It can be made by boiling, frying, or roasting the ingredients, eaten alone or part of a morning or afternoon meal, or for supper with some gravy and a bit of meat. Can be eaten hot, cold, or shaped into lumps and dried for rations. Most other races won't touch it because it's usually gray in color and musty in odor. Not considered feast-worthy (unless the hosts want to appear 'old-fashioned').

    The word Stonemash can also be used to describe something very common or cheap that is also useful. A dwarf that is fusses over decoration might be said to 'garnish his stonemash', although it's also synonymous with 'fixing what isn't broke'.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)22:59 No.5241444
    I accidentally Greg Moustache's art, is it bad?
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)22:59 No.5241445
    Dwarves traditionally assign different kinds of spiritual significance to varying types of stone.

    - Granite is revered for its humility and strength. Granite furniture is often placed in barracks and sparring halls, while soldiers swear allegiance to the clan while kneeling on a granite dais. Tough but modest characters like hunters and foot soldiers are often said to be "cut from granite."

    - Marble is seen as a fine compromise between beauty and function. Artisans and masters of craft often wear finely-polished marble jewelry. This is regarded as stylish but fairly modest in the same way that silver is in human society. The various artisan's guilds and similar organizations have collectively been referred to as "the marble caste," though this is informal and is sometimes considered impolite.

    - Limestone is seen to represent patience and learning, shaped as it is by the gradual flow of mineral-laden water through subterranean depths. Most apprentices are given small limestone tables on which to practice their craft, and the ceremony marking an apprentice's graduation into an artisan in his own right involves ritually dipping a marble token (usually a ring) into a limestone pool. This represents mastery gained through experience.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)23:04 No.5241478
    Due to there stout body type and short legs, it is considered incredibly bad form to stumble when drinking in front of the other races. A dwarf seen by his clansmen stumbling in front of others is mocked for weeks on end for looking like a weak drinker and only offered "childrens" drinks by them during this period.
    >> Devilock 07/23/09(Thu)23:05 No.5241490
    Seen it. His women are almost as good as AG's.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)23:08 No.5241512

    Then again, by dwarven standards and tolerances, most types of vodka would be considered a "children's drink".
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)23:31 No.5241650

    I liked you until I saw you were a furfag.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)23:36 No.5241671
    Though the effort is rarely-if-ever seen by outsiders, nor even by most other dwarves in a normal day, a female dwarf will often weave braids her pubic hair in the same manner as she styles the hair on her head, or how a male does for his beard. For a female to shave her pubic area (considered the female's version of a beard) is as unthinkable a notion as a male dwarf removing his facial beard.

    This is not to say that the beard of the female (or the male, for that matter) is wild or unkempt where it is left unbraided. Both genders, while disdaining the idea of shaving, do regularly utilize small brushes, finetoothed combs, small scissors, and othersuch grooming tools to trim away errant hairs and reshape areas in risk of matting or tangling.

    It was not too uncommon in ages past for some dwarven brides to approach the altar on her wedding-day bare below the waist, to show off how well-kept her lady-beard was - a neatly groomed and artfully-braided one was considered a sign of a thoughtful and detail-oriented future wife, while a less-neat one, with uneven braids or stray hairs, was a sign of a more independent woman. This display has been falling out of favor in more recent times, as some dwarven customs are drawing the attention of outsider races, and some of their influences, in turn, are beginning to rub off on the dwarves.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)23:40 No.5241687
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    why are not more people fans of dwarfs!? This was the best read on /tg/ in a very long time for me.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)23:42 No.5241694
    This is pretty much the best thread I've read in months.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)23:42 No.5241695
    he's not, that''s the only page which didn't kick him out for being too lazy to ink or for confusing the gnomes and haflings whit children. furfags almost don't visit his page.
    >> Anonymous 07/23/09(Thu)23:46 No.5241719
    That's because it's full of dwarves.

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