>>5198531
"We can't bring him back and keep our god power, can we, Fate?"

Ask for ale and a new helmet.

Fate seems nervous or something.

>>5198531
>>5198543
"If we can...could we bring him back as a little girl?"

Lolicles needs to happen.

Ask him how we can bring him back.

If they say "You can't bring him back for BLAH BLAH MAGIC TERMS" then I GUESS YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND THE GUY THAT MADE UP THAT FUCKING RULE AND KICK THE SHIT OUT OF HIM, WON'T YOU?!

Also, ask about satan.

Bring him back? But didn't he survive this battle too?

>>5198531
So, exactly how do we get the shard? Last time we killed a god it was to give the shard to our employer, so we don't really know how to get those godly powers.

Give us our godhood.

We should now be blue.

Ask Fate why you(bearbeard) persist in doing this. In the end Herc was a pretty cool guy. He would have been a great drinking pal, but we decided we wanted to kill him before we even considered the possibility.

OH SHIT

I JUST REALIZED

BEARDBEARD WILL TURN GOD-BLUE

I AM UNSURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS

He's probably just worried that we'll go mad with power, and we will..so uh....damn where was i going with this?

>>5198585
As god we should be able to choose whatever dam color we want.

I SAY BLOOD RED!

>>5198585
NOT IF WE HAVE HIM CONTAIN HIS GODHOOD IN HIS BEARD

BEARDBEARD GODBEARD

Tell fate that he'd best watch what he says about our fallen friend here, or else he's next.

>>5198614
Fate is stronger then us.

Prepare a viking funeral. We are sending that bro out in style.

>>5198615
We know that.

We'd die trying anyway.

For Pride. Herc was a great man, and he permanently gimped BOTH of our forms. If Fate talks smack, our Pride will split the earth.

>>5198573
>Did he survive this battle too?
"Of course not, you killed him! With your own two arms and your own two eyes."

>>5198543
>Can I bring him back and still keep my god power?
"Why would you want to? You are clearly stronger. Heracles would never let anyone weaker beat him! You should know that."

>If you say one more word about Heracles, Fate... You'll be next.
"Oh ho ho! I will keep it in mind next time I dismiss a lesser god out of hand. Now, are you going to take this godhood or not?"

>>5198655
"What kind of abilities does this power grant besides great strength?"

>>5198640
D-did I say that..?

>>5198655
>"Why would you want to? You are clearly stronger. Heracles would never let anyone weaker beat him! You should know that."

He'll make a good champion for us.

>>5198665
...do we want anything BESIDES strength?

>>5198665
TAKE GODHOOD FIRST.

QUESTIONS LATER.

Truth be told, fate has been nothing but nice to us...

>>5198655
"Yes...but we must get him rebirthed...as a little girl"

Heracles would probably take his godhood back first chance he got.

..then revive us.

holy crap we'd be locked in infinite battle.

Go for GOD! Go for GOD!

We need a crazy dorf god!

>>5198655
TAKE THE FRICKIN' GODHOOD.

Also:
>"Why would you want to? You are clearly stronger. Heracles would never let anyone weaker beat him! You should know that."
"Well, I dunno. I just thought he was a pretty cool guy. We could go out drinking sometime, if I wasn't trying to take his godhood. I was thinking I could reincarnate him as something smaller and we could be buds. Maybe a little girl or something."
"Because it would be funny."

> Taking Godhood
"So how does this work do I just turn blue right away or WOAH HOLY SHIT"

>>5198655
Yes take it.

>>5198680
Probably with good reason as you can see with recent events.

Though once we recovered why should we stop at being a god amongst many? We should only stop when we are the only god....

>>5198677
Agreed.

>>5198655

Thats it. We're going to have to take fate down one of these days. Beardbeard may be BBEG, but goddamnit someone like Fate should not be running anything. Respect where respect is owed.

You know what. What if we refuse? What if we chose to have herc come back instead. We dont need to play Fate's game. Screw him and the mystic glowy portal he came in on.

>>5198655
Why would we want to? You haven't noticed a pattern with the people we've killed? We end up dragging them around and bringing them back. It has worked out pretty well so far, why mess with success?

>>5198717
>What if we refuse? What if we chose to have herc come back instead.

Herc would know he's not the strongest guy around, even though he should be. It would drive him insane. We don't want that to happen, so let's not do that.

Let's bring him back as a little girl: Pic related. He would love it.

I.... Have... The.... POWER!

Why the fuck is everyone so sentimental about Heracles all of a sudden? What did he do besides act like the Heavy and cripple us?

Nah fate is fine.

(I bet fate eye is on this thread.... Ixsnay on teh fates killingshay....)

>Godhood obtained!
"With that, now you regenerate all wounds instantly as long as you are in the Neutral Room. Your sheer physical strength is increased, and you can conjure weaponry at will. You also need to answer prayers."

>>5198742
Heavy is a fukkin BRO. He's an awesome guy, the BEST drinking buddy, and he thinks like Beardbeard does. He'd make a great champion/pal.

>>5198752
"Okay Bro....but what can we do about performing a rebirth on herc here, as a little girl?"

>>5198742
Like Garrelf he wasn't a true villain. That is to say people feel remorse about killing him.

>>5198752

Awesome. Lets give that a shot. WE SHALL BE A JUST AND NOBLE GOD!

>>5198752
>"You also need to answer prayers."

Why? It's not like OUR god ever does. Isn't it enough that you listen?

>>5198752

>> Answer prayers

oh thats why fate looked so worried, we're irresponsible.

>>5198752
Test new powers.
>>5198766
Garrelf was more of a villain then everybody else in this quest.

>>5198752
well, fuck.

wanna go say whassup to moradin, or hug sunson? Nothing violent, just go and enjoy our fucking powers.

>>5198752
Will there be challengers? Hopeful mortals looking for easy godhood, like us with Herc?

>>5198752
Test out your new weaponry based powers by conjuring a rain of knives.

KNIFE RAIN.

It is just one of our new attacks.

In fact, just start conjuring the shit out of everything while laughing like a god damn retard.

>>5198752
At least that solve the arm probl-

>You also need to answer prayers

DAMMIT.

I KNEW WE FORGOT SOMETHING. RESPONSIBILITY.

>>5198752
Does healing all wounds instantly include any sort of, uh, mutation compensation abilities?

Also, can we travel around instantly somehow now?

>>5198782
>Garrelf was more of a villain then everybody else in this quest.

But he was also our BRO!

>>5198765
Let the man/cyclops thing have his rest. This is how he would have wanted to go anyway.

First thing firsts. Lets use our powers to construct a monument to fallen herc (if we aint revivin' him).

listen to prayers.

Lay off the little girl stuff, Jesus. What the hell kind of drinking buddy is that going to be?

>>5198752
Lets teleport to the neutral room.

>conjure weaponry at will
>Telekinesis
>thousands of axes

Anyone thinking what im thinking?

>>5198794
I think we should ask him.

Ask what Satan has been doing while you were off being an idiot.

>>5198796
Yes, this.

Also, go back to the temple you came in through and put the rock back together anyway.

Since EVERYTHING IS A WEAPON, and we can CONJURE ANY WEAPON, then... well...

>>5198803
An awesome one. Just think, inebriating a little girl. A fucking powerful little girl.

>Why answer prayers? It's not like OUR god ever does. Isn't it enough that you listen?

"Answer the damn prayers. Xom gets to flaunt it because he's beyond my control. You are not."

Amusingly enough, we are now Kav's god.

Should make seducing her slightly easier.

>>5198803
The BEST kind of drinking buddy!

>>5198818
"Well goddamnit.

What about those other challengers? Do I have to suffer mortal pricks who think they're bigger than they really are?" (The irony goes right past our head.)

We can summon weapons at will? Fuck ye--

>You've got prayers to answer.

...Well, shit. Better start cracking on them now before they become even more of a royal pain in the patookas.

>>5198818
When did we get our helmet back?

>>5198818
Grumble frustratedly. Accept... r-r-re-reeee...

respons-s-ibility...

Whoo that was tough.

Let's zoom in to some great epic battle that's going on somewhere in the world. Tens of thousands of warriors on both side, kicking each other's asses. I feel it's kinda our duty.

We could give aid to the side that's losing.

We need to go make Dribils our champion as well.

>>5198836

Actually, seeing as we can conjure weapons out of thin air, and by stretch seeing as our helmet was USED as a weapon against a hydra, we could conjure up another helmet.

....I wonder if we could conjure up a BFG? Prayers first, though.

>>5198818
"FINE. Dick."

> Answer the damn prayers.
Be sure to sound really pissy when you pick up the pray phone. No matter who it is, ask if they have beer.

Apparently enough people don't want to rebirth herc for him to care.

Forget Heavycles. Beef up Driblis to be the second most awesome kobold ever.

We're gonna be the most dorfy goddamn god of strength ever. Someone makes a suicide charge against impossible odds, we'll be there. Someone being oppressed by elephants or goblins and shit? we'll be there. Mother gives birth to a baby while being attacked by a wolf (as often happens in dorfen society,) we'll be there to make sure that baby fucks that wolf up good. And anyone carrying ale will be made just stronger to the point where the ale doesnt cause them any additional weight.

>>5198860
Why? The side that's winning is more powerful and thus a greater testament to us. We should bless the strong and shun the weak.

Unless the weak worship us.

>>5198861

We need to make Drilblis our Prophet.

We need to get all of the world's Kobolds to worship us, and, in so doing, increase and expand our portfolio.

That much belief, that much devotion... has power.

>>5198836
You conjured it with your god powers.

Now for PRIORITIZING:

1) Revive Garrelf
2) Revive Heracles
3) Build a monument to 1 or 2
4) Say hi to Satan and/or Moradin
5) Reclaim Buzzardloved for Presley to rule as king.

>>5198888
Because that'd actually make sense. and we're beardbeard godbeard.

>>5198897
>...increase and expand our portfolio.

We will add TRAPS under our domain! I mean, the kind of traps kobolds do, not the other kind that usually show up here.

>>5198902
..I...I...they must all be revived...as girls to show you were stronger.

..IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR FATE.

Can we have our own champion?

What powers would our champion get?

If so.. could we choose.. a kobold?

>>5198888
Uh, anyone who worships us is obviously NOT weak. What the fuck?

Get out. You fucking undorfy fagget.

>>5198902
I think we should just make Garrelf the ruler of hell if he isn't already since Satan is a god now.

Kobolds have definitely served us better than Dorfs ever have. Buncha jerkface dorfs. Kicking us out after we beat them fair and square.

Let's go summon flying devil kobolds and burn the shit out of them.

5)
1)
4)
3)
2-if heracles is ok with it-

>>5198902
>1) Revive Garrelf
>2) Revive Heracles
>3) Build a monument to 1 or 2
>4) Say hi to Satan and/or Moradin
>5) Reclaim Buzzardloved for Presley to rule as king.

How about we actually DID some of this stuff?

Also add "Make Driblis our champion" to the list. If we can only have one champ, we'll have to have Driblis and Herc duel until it's clear which one is stronger and deserves the place: the other one, if he's still alive, can become a regular prophet.

Ask Heracles first.

>>5198937

Holy fuck we're the most powerful being in the goddamn universe.

6) Burn down Buzzardloved. Kill Everyone

All else is secondary (except 'reclaim buzzardloved' which is nonexistent obviously)

>>5198914
Are you suggesting that we form ourselves a harem out of all the slain enemies that we liked?

>>5198902

I Vote we do that in order given.
1) Revive Garrelf
2) Revive Heracles
3) Build a monument to 1 and 2
4) Say hi to Satan and let Moradin know that he's next.
5) Reclaim Buzzardloved for Presley to rule as king.

>>5198902

If we meet Satan, just punch him while shouting "NOT COOL MAN. NOT COOL." That will be our vengence for Garrelf. We are kinda buds with Satan, after all.

As for Moradin, just kick his ass.

>>5198920
Proving my first point exactly.

But we should be more ambitious than being fates puppet.

>>5198954
...Duh?

Garrelf was a dick. Let's not revive him. We'll just have to kill him again.

We should get some GODLY ARMOR AND WEAPONS before going on a quest to make Heracles and Garelf our subordinates.

>>5198930
I vote for this. Duels are always cool.

>>5198956
naw, just say whassup to moradin. we can deal with him later.

>Can we have our own champion?
"Yes."

>What powers would our champion get?
"Increased strength, stamina, and toughness, as well as being able to dismiss their weapons into their own personal pocket space for instant retrieval."

>If so.. could we choose.. a kobold?
"...Why yes. Yes you could."

And since we seem to be deciding on reviving Garrelf first, you ask about that as well.
"Oh no no no. You can't bring him back. Satan has his soul thanks to that Gease contract! You'll need to get Satan to give up that soul before you can resurrect Garrelf."

Guys.

Let's leave Garrelf to his eternal reward, and build a bigass monument to the guy.

Dude left on the highest note Dorfquest has seen, and we will not see nearly as epic or as moving an exit for him later on.

1) Talk to Spirit of Heavycles about becoming our champion and accepting a Rez.

2) Monument to Garrelf

3) Save Satan from Djinn

4) Become God of Kobolds

5) Kick the shit out of Buzzardloved

>>5198967
Seriously. As much of a bro as he was, he's too much of an asshole to not go back to his ways of dickery, or he'll try and overthrow us or some bullshit.

Let's go all Kratos.

>>5198982
"Hmm...he's getting off too easy then..we'll just have to see Satan about that, then make him our bitch....out of respect and all"

>>5198982

Ok. We're Freeing Garrelf's soul from Satan. This is a thing. We are doing it.

>>5198985

This.

Wait.

We can summon weaponry at will.
But... Everything Is A Weapon (tm).

Oh dear.

Talk to Satan.

What happened to fates eye?

Poke his other one. Its freaky how many eyes this pantheon is missing.

1) Make Driblis a Fist Exalted. (Like a Solar but with Punching)

2) Repair our mutated form.

I think we should find out if the Infinity General wants to become our champion.
Although Heavycles would be an awesome champ too.
Damn, touch choice.

Let's leave Garrelf to rot. He will hack his way out of hell on his own accord anyway. We should instead concentrate upon choosing a champion for ourselves, and reclaiming Buzzardloved.

>>5198987
Not if we OWN HIS SOUL!

Though Satan is now a thing that is beyond the gods. We should focus on rescuing original Satan and he can give us Garelfs soul.

I still think we are going to need a party to help us out in our edeavors....

We should conjure up a bunch of weapons, sell them and hire rary full time as our adivisor.

We need to get our godly shit in order before haring off on other objectives. Appoint champion, make sure our priests know who is in charge, find out if we have any other critical obligations.

>>5199021
Like I said: have them duel for the place.

Before we get ahead of ourselves, let's name Driblis our champion.

>>5199014
It's serving an important purpose somewhere.

No.

FIRST THING FIRST.

Appear before our INFINITY GENERAL and make him our champion. We don't need any task of him, but he deserves the boost.

>>5199037

We've kind of been neglecting Presley...

>>5198985
>>5199000
Alright, just to consolidate this a little: As DM I agree with this. Garrelf was awesome and all, but he's gone now. Let's build him a monument, and let him rest in piece.

So on that note, you ask about bringing back Heracles!

"Talk to Xanatos about it."

>>5199044

>>talk to xanatos about it
Hoo boy...

oh hey..xanatos is a girl..and beardbeard needs a girlfriend...

...oh wow forget i said that

>>5199044
...To Xanatos!

>>5199044
Talk to Xanatos about it.
Be sure to make frequent sexual advances.

So we're still Xom's Champion. Assuming we get another chamion, of our own, could Xom order HIM around too, by saying, "tell your champion to...."

>>5199069
No, god powers apparently protect us from that, according to fate.

>>5199044
Its sounds more like you are going to bring him back like you brought back Finaly...

Check our mutations.

I think rezzing HERC is the worst thing we could possibly do.

He is a dethroned GOD. That would just be torturing him, wouldn't it?

>>5199044
We'll talk with Xanatos, then. Be sure to compliment her good looks.

>>5199069
Yeah, but he could already tell us to tell Drib what to do.

>>5199080
The least we can do is ask if he wants to be brought back.

>>5199080
We need to ask his permission. He might want to come back, to kick asses and take names, who knows.

>>5199080
You wanna be our little girl?

>>5199089
As long as we ACTUALLY ASK HIM beforehand. We can't just go rezzing anyone we feel like. What if they like being dead?

Moments of searching later...
>Hail, Xanatos!
...

>...I was wondering if you could help me with something.
...

She does not answer.

>>5199103
Well we could twist our words if he agrees.

>>5199116
Compliment her. Be increasingly rude until she reacts somehow.

Damn, xanatos is tall.

>>5199103
Didn't we do exactly that with Garrelf and Nevada?

>>5199116
Do we know about Coco? If so I would also like to ask what could cause a lich to lose its ability to talk.

>>5199116
She's probably the quiet type. Just keep charging through with our winning personality.
Also why aren't you hitting on her yet.

>>5199128

Say what we want first. Then move on to this if there is no reply.

"I would like to speak to Heraclese, I'd like to know if he would like a resurrection and position as my champion....Also are you doing anything friday night?"

Xanatos is stronger then us and a zombie.

>>5199128
>You sure look pretty today, Xanatos.
...Hranifla blishkanof menas il sentari.

>...Whu?
Defnagog il vatara nicto.

If she doesnt agree to let us talk to who we want, let her know that we've allready taken out one god today, and we'd really prefer to not have to take out another.

>>5199167
Forget it. Lets leave the neutral zone.

>>5199167
FUCK. We need a translator.

>>5199167
GEE THANKS FOR TELLING US SHE SPOKE A LANGUAGE WE DIDNT KNOW FATE.

use weapon conjuration to summon a language primer...with an axe handle on it.

>>5199189
OUR POWER IS USING ANYTHING AS A WEAPON.

AND WE CAN SUMMON ANY WEAPON.

We must test this.

>>5199167

Mrestian gukulu Hercules? Zhali no cartran mag sarak, nreh?

>>5199167

This has been bugging me for a while, but does Xan have a large upside-down mouth on her head, or is that supposed to be like a head ornament?

Also, do gods gain the TONGUES ability? Xan may just be a cunt, instead of being linguistically impaired.

>>5199116
>>5199044
Guys? I think Fate is screwing with us.

>>5199167
Repeat yourself. LOUDLY. AND. SLOWLY.
That always works.

>>5199213
Obviously.

We cant let him beat us!

>>5199211

Large, upside-down mouth.

>>5199213
>Guys? I think Fate is screwing with us.

>Fate.

>Screwing with us.

>Dorf Quest

Hey Gnome? Can we add "After done speaking with Fate, Hug Sunson" to the quest roster? He's been very deprived of fatherly affection, you know.

...Masatasta il veniana.

>>5199167
BEARDBEARD, HUG XANATOS.

Love is the same in every language.

>>5199211
It's an extra mouth. Her head is reversible.

>>5199207

>>5199167

Either she's speaking upside down, or speaking in a dead language, which would make sense, considering her domain.

>>5199227
"...I came too"

I think we should just build a monument first. Maybe it'll give us some kind of leeway with his soul.

"Dreadfully sorry, I much prefer old speech. I have not traded words with a sentient creature in aeons. It is a rare occurence that one wants anything to do with Death. What would you like, new god?"

>>5199248
We just wanted to say hi.

>>5199248
..I'm done for the night.

No more suggestions from me.

Thats.. yeah.. that's it.

>>5199248

Ah. Dead language. Should'a figured.

So, I was wondering if I could maybe have a word with Heracles before possibly reviving him.

....Are you single by any chance?

Ask her out on a date, do it, dooo iiit.

>>5199256
>I just wanted to say hi.
"...That is all? I... well okay then."

>>5199248
"Well, first of all, I was hoping we could get to know each other sometime."
"Secondly, I wanted to bring back Heracles because he's a pretty cool guy and doesn't afraid of anything. And Fate said I should talk to you."

>>5199267

So, come here often?

>>5199267
Argh oh god i cant tell if she's angry or happy

>>5199267
"Why? You wanted to talk?"

>>5199267
"Uh... how exactly does that head-reversing thing work? Were you like that before you became the god of death?"

Somehow flirting with Xanatos seems like a bad idea to me.

>>5199267
"I was wondering about being able to resurrect herc...maybe in a different form even"

>>5199289

Oh come on, it's the best idea we've ever had.

...

That... probably explains a lot.

>>5199267

God of the dead, huh? Whats that like?

>>5199289
We're Beardbeard, God of Strength! We flirt with Death!

>>5199267

"We would like to talk to Heracles if it's cool with you. We'd like to ask him whether or not he'd be interested in being resurected and becoming our champion. We'd also like to talk to you about how we would go ressurecting him."

"We're also happy to talk to you about anything that might be on your mind, if other sentients don't talk to you too often."

I have to wonder if we're making the other lesser gods nervous since we've killed two gods already now.

I mean, I can't imagine this kind of thing happens TOO often.

>>5199325
Hm, what about Driblis though? I think he should be our champion.

>/tg/ flirting with goddess of death
Welp, I think that's about it for me tonight.
Let's just ask if we can talk to Heavycles, so I can hopefully catch an archived thread that is less creepy than what this one seems to be heading towards.

>>5199337
High priest.

>>5199345

hey hey hey...at least we're not flirting with poseidon.


if xanatos is taken we're totally flirting with poseidon.

Herc as high priest. He's used to the administrative details of being god of strength. Driblis as champion on account of infinity general.

>>5199326

Actually, Fate mentioned it's a somewhat normal occurrence. It's not unusual for a new god to be stricken down in days. Though, to be fair, Beardbeard killed two gods within ONE year....

>>5199325
>>5199337
They can have a nonlethal duel to determine who is the Champion if they are both willing to do so.

>>5199317
...You son of a bitch.

>Flirt with DEATH

YES! BRILLIANT! I LIKE IT! We shall flirt shamelessly with death.. quite literally this time. Hit on her. HIT ON HER WITH ALL YOUR DORFY CHARM.

I just want to see where that goes. Flit with death like our life depends on it.

>>5199362

She's probably the jealous type.

>>5199358
I more meant one guy going around killing gods than lesser gods dying.

>>5199355
Knowing /tg/, they're gonna shoot for a godly Ménage à trois.

>>5199380
I am not looking forward to the 34 on that..

>Why? You wanted to talk?
"Oh yes! Very much so! Well, if it is fine with you, I mean. I would not want to be a bother.

>Uh... how exactly does that head-reversing thing work? Were you like that before you became the god of death?
"Before I was...? I have been God of Death since time immemorial, as have Xom and Fate and Yog. We were born like this. Or... some thing to that effect. I am not sure born is that right word. But yes. Akin to Xom's limp and Fate's removable eye, I have two faces."

>You come here often?
"Incorrect. I never leave here. I have no reason to do so."

>I was wondering about being able to resurrect Herc...
"Oh certainly, I can do it. But I am uncertain he wants to be raised. He made it to Valhalla, you see, and there is hardly a better afterlife than Valhalla."

>I would like to talk to Heracles if it's cool with you.
"That can certainly be arranged."

>We're also happy to talk to you about anything that might be on your mind, if other sentients don't talk to you too often.
"That would be wondrous."

>>5199387
I agree, let's let Heracles be. Driblis will be fine as our champion. We could check on how Heracles is doing sometime though.

>>5199387
This goes on nicely. Look at her other mouth!

:3

>>5199386
My God, what have I done?

Look at her goddamn upside down :3 face.
I am d'awwwing so hard.

>>5199387
Let's have a chat with Herc. If he likes fighting - he's bound to, being in Valhalla and everything - we can arrange to dump him right in the middle of some epic war. As a little girl. I'm sure he'd enjoy that.

>>5199380
>>5199386

You fools! You've doomed us all!

...Damn good thing I lurk /d/.

We need some sort of girls...WE MUST FIND GIANT MONSTERS AND KILL THEM INTO OUR HAREM...but only the strongest fighters can make it.

Gods can be champions of other gods... so why not make Xom our champion? We could have an infinite champion loop!

Let's leave Heracles to his fate. Instead, ask her how afterlifes work.

>>5199422
I think that would amuse Xom. Maybe.

"Xantos if your free some time we should go on a date. Yknow im new to this god thing maybe you can show me around a bit..."

>>5199422
D:
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

>>5199422
That makes no sense, has no point, and would probably break something.

We have to try.

"Heracles is now available for discussion!"

Tell her, "You're the best, Xanty!"

Then give her a KISS ON THE CHEEK!

>>5199467
Hey, how's it going?

>>5199467
"How's Valhalla treating you? Is the beer good?"

"Just checkin' if you're enjoying valhalla or if you wanna come back and do the whole champion thing.

...how is valhalla anyway?"

>>5199467
Oh, bad timing.

"So how about becoming our champ? We could send you into many big fights."

>>5199467

"sup."

"no hard feelings, aye? Could use a boy like you liveside. What'ya say? I'll buy you a drink, you help with the cause. You'll always get another chance to die again, right? But this is sort of a now or nothing deal, you know? You fight good, little one eye. Real good. We need more blokes like you around. Whatya say?"

Think about this. Herc is having the time of his unlife in Valhalla. Driblis is our INFINITY GENERAL. That 'bolds fucking deserves being out champion.

What did Herc ever do for us?

Don't offer to make him our champion.

Offer to bring him back, so he can have a chance to reclaim his godhood one day.

Whatever his answer, make sure we give him his sword back. It's the least we can do.

>>5199496
THIS.

I think Herc would be BETTER OFF WHERE HE IS.

WE SHOULD NOT CONVINCE HIM TO JOIN US. That would just be wrong. It ended with a good fight. We should keep the relationship just that. END IN BRO FIST.

Come on, guys. I know Heracles is cool and all, but in Valhalla he probably gets to have, like, a billion battles every day. For all eternity. Hell, we're probably disturbing him right now with this call. He's happy, let's let him be.

Oh and the perfect song to listen to while talking to Xantos.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUyu5prWjTE

>>5199497
This.

>>5199512

Which is why we are being polite new gods, and asking him his preference, rather than being our traditional dick-self, and just doing whatever the hell we want, and rezzing him regardless of his wishes.

>>5199529
But Fate TOLD us he was having a good time. We already know he is.

Ask him why he decided to become a god originally.

>>5199532

Fate says a lot of things..

>>5199532
But who knows, he might still think he'd have even BETTER time while he's alive. He can get back to Valhalla eventually anyway.

"Vat is wrong, Beardbeard? Did you be forgettink how to tie your shoes? I just saw you minutes ago!"

>How are you enjoying Valhalla?
"It is nice place. Lots of people here can outsmart bullet. It is exciting place."

>Would you like to come back to life?
"...Eh? Is somethink wrong with your head? You killed me in battle! There is no more honorable death! Why would you deny me such a pleasure? You insult me!"

>>5199549
Sorry sorry bro, just had to be sure, new to this whole god thing and all.

>>5199549
>"...Eh? Is somethink wrong with your head? You killed me in battle! There is no more honorable death! Why would you deny me such a pleasure? You insult me!"

That'd be a "No", then. Fine.

Let's offer him a beer at least.

>>5199547
Now, you see, we've insulted him just by asking!

>>5199549
"Our apologies, Heracles. We meant no insult, rather the opposite. We are new to this whole... er, god thing."

Indeed, a beer..

Summon a beer stein with a hammer handle!

a...BEERHAMMER!

>>5199549
"Since when do we care? But...eh...you can stay there, since you want to soooo much. Living in luxury and whatnot"

>>5199564
How are you proposing you send him a beer in the afterlife?

>>5199549

Give him a beer, a real big sword, and send him back.

Then we go hug Sunson.

"...It appears he has disconnected. Is there anyone else with whom you wish to commune?"

>>5199577

really, thats the part that doesnt make any sense?

>>5199581
>Then we go hug Sunson.

Xanatos first. She made us a real favour, and deserves it.

>>5199577
Find God of Beer.
PUNCH HIM STRAIGHT TO HELL.
Steal portfolio while he's gone.

>>5199583
Garrelf, for the hell of it.

>>5199583
GARELF

>>5199594
Are we just going to go down the list of people we've killed?

I suggest we prank call Glittergold. It would be amusing.

>>5199583
"...how about the first person we ever killed?"

>>5199583

"Only you. We're really new to this whole divinity thing. You're one of the longest lasting deities there is. Any tips for the new guy as to how to avoid...er... losing our divinity?"

>>5199583

Garrelf:

"WHASSUP MAH NIGGA?"

Buy the man a drink.

Give him his sword back.

Let's see how Glittergold's doing.

>>5199599
The first person we killed in this quest was some random giant...or cyclops, I don't remember. Anyway, it was a random monster, let's not dwell on it.

>>5199583
"No thanks." Hug her.

Then hug Sunson, make Driblis our champion, and get back Buzzardloved, in that order. Maybe that statue for Garrelf, too.

>>5199599
Watch, it turns out to be BeardBeards dad or some shit.

Talk to Garrelf, Glittergold, and then to Xanatos. She is hot, shy, AND the god of death. I can't think of a more powerful ally excluding Xom of course.

Furius George.

>>5199610
That's the twist

Can we talk to garelf? If not I can't think of anything. Make dribs our champion and go talk to satan.

>>5199621
I wonder where Furious George's soul ended up anyway.

>>5199600
>>5199611
>No thanks. Just you.

>>5199635
>Thats my ass.png
wut

Oh god, you hugged her ass.

>>5199635
DAAAWWW!

>>5199635

Ha! Outstanding.

D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :3

>>5199635
D'aww.

Now that that's done, let's finally go and make Driblis our champion. Simply because it'd seem to be the task that requires least of our effort.

After that, Buzzardloved. It's waited for long enough.

>>5199635

Utterly, utterly hilarious. Especially taking in the filename.

>>5199635
We gotta learn that old tongue so we can hug her from the other way.

Also, I'm laughing too much.

>>5199639
Herp.

>>5199639
Beardbeard is about half her height.

And her head's on backwards at the moment.

So he just buried his face in her ass.

>>5199635
Time to GTFO b4 we have a very angry death god after us?

>>5199660
"...May I speak to the first person I killed?"

Time to uh..pretend you didnt notice what you just did and hey go see what sunson is doingohgodgottagobye

>>5199657
It'd be rude to say we wanted to talk and then immediately leave.

Better her ass than her crotch, right?

>>5199635
Oh. See, I was thinking this was more of like a Tucker biology, in which case that would be the front.

>>5199665
Alright, time to run off and make Driblis our champion!

>>5199674
Oh right.

PRETEND YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID D:

>>5199671
>>5199665
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF She was totally digging it you fags.

>>5199686
Did we just break her?

>>5199686
Whenever we come around - we should visit the place quite a bit from now on, being a god and all - we can hug her again.

Excellent, 30 minutes as god and we've already committed cosmic sexual harassment.

...awesome.

>>5199686
Reverseface is very angry.

>>5199686
..Next time we see fate?

Yeah.

We need to make sure there aren't any HORRIBLE HALF ABOMINATION HALF DORF children in our future. Not that Beardbeard shouldn't hit that, but damn. I think we should spare the world at least SOME horrors.

>>5199686
Yes. And after that, acquire LASERS for carving the moon.

We will remake it in Garrelf's image.

>>5199715

Any of beardbeard's children will be a double abomination.

>>5199717

Fuck lasers. We'll throw shit at it until it looks the way we want it to.

>Hey Driblis!
"Beardbeard! How are you- what did- huh?"

>I'm the god of Strength now. Wanna be my champion?
"Do I ever! :Dc"

>>5199737
It better come with an EPIC outfit.

>>5199737
"You want anything else while I'm at it?"

>>5199737

Send him some food while we're at it. And ale, lots of ale.

Lets go carve a mountain in Hercs image or something

Gonna call it soon Gnome? Threads sinking and its getting kinda late.

>>5199737
OH man.

So good Herc isn't around to see this. He'd flip.

Thread Autosagan' and it's 5:23am where I am.

>>5199737
Send a prayer to Kav to see how she is.

>>5199717

We can freakin' MAKE giant laser cannons!

>>5199775
This, but increase his size and femininity by 100%

Hm, can we heal our mutations in god form? We should do that so we can use our mutated form if need be.

PAUSE SCREEN
BEARDBEARD GODSLAYER, Dorfen Berserker God of Strength, Champion of Xom
Quest(s): Conquer Region, Resurrect Garrelf?/Build momument to Garrelf?, Find and/or propose to some girl
Current Quest: dunnolol

ALCOHOLISM: sated
GOLD: 1000

STATUS: BBEG

MUTATIONS (Optional):
Weird Hands
No Left Eye
Monstrous Hands
Poison Immunity
Scales
Twoface
Exposed Lungs
Sword Elbow
Full Body Beard

Abilities:
Everything's a Weapon
Deforestation
Timberserker
Subtle Telekinesis - now with Offscreen mode!
God Powers

INVENTORY:
Iron Axe
+8/+10 Two Handed Axe of the Pit
1 Torch
Overworld Map
Hydra Armor
Map to Beardbeard's Kingdom
Antimagic Bird Cage
Dragon Armor
Gnomish Axefoot
Silk Cape
Spiderarm Axe

Party:

Arialla Check up!

>>5199788
Take away that resurrect Garrelf, because you said it's not happening, so no false choices.

>>5199801
Ooooh, can we check up on Heracles?

So, uhm, can we get translations on those conversations in... latin?

>>5199801
Slowly make her look and believe she is Dribles

>>5199788
>Find and/or propose to some girl

Xanatos. She will be our waifu!

The previous Champion of Xom.

Didn't we change our name to Beardbeard Godbeard?

What is our quest now? I assume its to make everyone worship beardbeard.

>>5199831

we've found taikah's dad.

>>5199788
Oh come on! It was just a friendly hug, nothing special like that!

The really special stuff will come later. Just you wait.

>>5199831
Isnt it a she?

Oh.

What about the previous champion of herc?

>>5199801
Ya know perhapse we should let her out sometime. Sure she was a bit of a dick but no one deserves to die like that.

>>5199846
Ees not pink!

>>5199846
Probably lost her sex from heavy mutation and ceased caring.

Shouldnt the color for sexless be a deep purple? Or gray?

>>5199858
she did.

>>5199868
All she did was make one slight mistake.

Pic is non-mutation form of the previous Champion of Xom. Yes, she is a girl. I just draw in black for bonus time sometimes.

>>5199815
I don't know Latin. I am just making up words. Translations:
>>5199167
>Do you require my assistance?
>Anything at all?

>>5199227
>Please wait just a moment.

>>5199686
>What just happened

>>5199788
>He's.... too short...

>>5199864
>>5199872
>>5199868

we'll let her out after we get back the mountainholmes and can offer her a house there.

because forcing an elf to live among dwarves will be fucking hillarious.

as would forcing equality.

>>5199858
I dont think she can die. And if she learned that we killed off her hubby she will become a huge problem.

Though i suppose we can give a mean speech make her worship us and then she can go rule elves.

>>5199882
Hahaha!

>>5199858

Hell no. Let her suffer inside Cheska for all eternity.

>>5199882

You know, I thought the champion of Fate would be a Kenku, but Xom works too.

>>5199872

If by slight mistake, you mean be a bitch to Beardbeard, inadvertently hurting Beardbeard and Garrelf's friendship, which would later start a war between them, resulting in Garrelf's death?

Yep, definitely a slight mistake.

>>5199898
Should just make her go so mad she thinks she is Dribles.

Btw what characters on aldwinside can be on Beardbeardside?

So, can we check on how Heracles is doing in Varhalla?

>>5199902
>inadvertently
She didnt know what she was doing

>>5199915
This.

Dare you defy the palindrome?

Let Arialla go, then immediately kill her. She will be reunited with her lover in death.

>>5199882
>>5199831

....Daaaamn.

>>5199915

GO AND FUCKING HUG SUNSON.

Christ, you guys. We're a god now, and our son has been very deprived of fatherly affection. Go show him some fatherly love.

>>5199934
Not right now she won't, because "Satan" has Garefl's soul.

>>5199949
Punch him in the snout to prove superiority.

>>5199958
Err...show dominance.

>>5199958
D:

He loves his daddy, don't hurt Sunson. He's like a big, 9000 degrees C one year old...

Oh fuck.

Gnome, have we missed Sunson's birthday?

>>5199973
We also need an adorable Elf who thinks she's a kobolb who looks like a mix of the two

>>5199982
Ariala confirmed for Driblis' new waifu.

>>5199918

....One of us apparently has no idea what that word means. I will now copy and pasta the entry for the word.
Main Entry:
in·ad·ver·tent Listen to the pronunciation of inadvertent
Pronunciation:
\-tənt\
Function:
adjective
Etymology:
back-formation from inadvertence
Date:
1653

1 : not focusing the mind on a matter : inattentive 2 : unintentional <an inadvertent omission>
— in·ad·ver·tent·ly adverb

Such as Arialla inadvertently screwing things up between Garrelf and Beardbeard. I now take my leave of you. Good day, sir.

>>5200001
Also how does I make backwards b?

>>kobolb

>>5199949
We're on pause now. It's just fun doodle time.

>>5199801
Stage 1: Denial
Stage 2: Anger
Stage 3: Bargaining
Stage 4 Sadness
Stage 5: Acceptance

I think I made the list off, oh well

OH

What was Driblis's face when he heard the offer to be champ?

>>5199831

>Iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg

>>5200159
?

I have an idea for the perfect tribute to Garrelf. We build a harem. It what he would have wanted.

>>5200195
A harem of only the strongest...once men.

>>5200195
THE GREATEST SERAGLIO EVER MADE!

WOMEN OF ALL SHAPES, SIZES, AND AGES!

IN A TIME-FROZEN DIMENSION!

>>5200195
I mean think of this: We could get...
Xanatos, Kav, a Dorf woman when we re-take Buzzardloved, a worshiper of Xom other than Cultist. It'll be great. Garrelf would be proud. Now although we lack his charm, we're a god. That counts for a lot.

>>5200225
Actually do we have angels and stuff? An Archangel? Can we promote people to angels?

>>5200225
We will be the Zeus of this setting! Demigod children everywhere!

>>5200310
YES! We shall disguise ourselves each time!

Also we should ask Fate if we can convince out followers to believe that we're god of something, do we become the god of that something?