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  • File : 1247632242.jpg-(132 KB, 750x600, holyshit.jpg)
    132 KB Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)00:30 No.5165594  
    Awesome character thread time, /tg/. Give us your best.

    This is also a blatant attempt to get Wasteland Warrior to tell some more stories, such as one about Kjellmir. Or of the half-elf Optimus Prime.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)00:35 No.5165640
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    Does a character whose primary means of killing are headbutting, live enemies as clubs (pic somewhat related), and flung motorcycles (in that order) count?
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)00:41 No.5165690
    >>Wasteland Warrior stories

    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)00:42 No.5165698
    Seconding blatant Wasteland Warrior story request.

    >> Asian Women's Handball Championship !!oUKJ9/i8Ftx 07/15/09(Wed)00:44 No.5165718
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    You guys are doing it wrong.

    To summon Wasteland Warrior, you must first LIGHT THE BEACONS.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)00:46 No.5165726
    By providing some epic characters, perhaps?
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)00:49 No.5165741
    I was DMing for a guy whom always seemed to roll 20's when preforming drop-kicks. They then became his main attack. I couldn't put anything on him. The dice gods had chosen there new champion.
    >> Asian Women's Handball Championship !!oUKJ9/i8Ftx 07/15/09(Wed)00:51 No.5165760
    I don't have any good epic stories, but I have some humorous tidbits:

    In a gestalt game we played for kicks, we had a Psion/Fighter who chose Meat as his power manifestation. His powers became abilities such as Cone of Meat, Meatball and Summon Sausage II.

    The same gestalt group had Krunk, the War-Hulk//Fighter/Barb/Monk/Whatever. He dealt 120+ damage a round and one point, rolled a break check.

    "So, what are you trying to break?"
    *rolls* "...Uh...let's try time."
    "It succeeds. You are now staring at your past self."
    "Full round."

    My character was a dragon shaman//warblade. I wasn't much good at being funny in game yet, so I just Iron Heart Surged everything. At one point, the DM decided Thoon made my surge turn my arm into cabbage.
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)00:54 No.5165779
    Twenty hour game (not all at once) for a playtest.
    Players managed to save a city, condemn a country, make lifelong enemies of a Vampire king, condemn a village by killing the insane Baron who knew the secret to protecting it (whilst reenacting Event Horizon in a mansion), Mage player set himself up as Lord Pheonix and ruined the economy with his immortal undead friend defending the family line down the centuries.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)00:54 No.5165782
    Then let me introduce you to Fistbeard Beardfist.

    Monks can make unarmed strikes with any part of their body. Kensai can enchant their body parts. You can see where this is going.
    So yeah, there are several options. You can go with Throwing and Returning: "When Fistbeard Beardfist throws his mighty beard, all those who chose to oppose his beard must fear!"
    Or Vorpal, because decapitating someone with a beard is awesome.
    Or Morphing and Sizing, to turn your beard into a halberd. Or, depending how flexible your DM is, a catapult.
    Or whatever the hell else you can think of.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)00:55 No.5165788
    Please elaborate.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)00:59 No.5165822

    Carry a thrown/ammo of sizing and returning. Shoot pebbles that turn into boulders.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:05 No.5165884
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    A fairly intelligent half orc barbarian who enjoyed rhyming-- opened battle with the immortal line:
    "My name is Gruk, yes you are Fucked, the barbarian's here and his cock you will suck!"
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:07 No.5165902
    Oh come on now, you could at least be original with something like that.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:09 No.5165915

    >> Wasteland Warrior 07/15/09(Wed)01:11 No.5165933
    Well, I guess I have to tell a story now. You wanna hear about Captain Collateral, or the man who killed Boba Fett?
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:11 No.5165935
    An 'old salt' bard dressed as an old sea dog, who whittled away the time with stories of the sea. Things like ghost ships, beautiful mermaids, and storms the likes of which no land-lubber could imagine.

    He had been a whaler, and a recurring story would be the one of 'the catch that got away'; a sea monster that took 17 of his crewmates, their ship, and his eye by the name of "Searfang". We could never figure out what exactly the monster was, as each story of the ill-fated venture only chronicled a part of the journey and gave little tidbits of info on the beast. The one thing we knew though was that he harpooned it in one of it's 'fins', and that it wasn't a natural inhabitant of the sea.

    Of note that he carried around a harpoon, and near the end of an epic quest we find ourselves face to face with a woken dragon assaulting a castled city. A group of ork scouts from the attacking army woke it up, and it chose to wreak havoc on both sides.

    Upon sighting it though, the old salt laughed a laugh to curdle blood, drew his harpoon and muttered in his heavy accent; "Hello Searfang." It was then that we noticed an old rusty, hooked harpoon sticking out near the base of one of it's wings.

    As the battle reached an end, he climbed to the tallest tower of the keep, let forth a thunderous cry and let fly the harpoon that pierced it's heart and brought it to the ground to meet it's death.

    I think the DM had planned the ominous monster to be a dragon, but the old salt had been telling stories of Searfang long before the DM could of planned it, so I think it was a friendly gesture.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:12 No.5165944


    And by yes I mean both.
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)01:12 No.5165945

    Phase 1:

    Mage and his psychotic female sidekick, both players, arrive in a small outpost town. Sidekick fails her Willpower rolls and gets wasted on cheap ale. Monk and Dreamchaser both rent rooms. Vengeful Dead shows up, coerces some expensive vodka out of the innkeeper, and then he and the Mage have a magical dickwaves contest. Inquistor player, up until now questioning the local lord, arrives accusing all and sundry of heresy before hiring them for his purposes. Mage says something inflammatory, Inquisitor marches back to the Lord to ask "THE FUCK ARE YOU HIDING, BITCH?!"
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:12 No.5165948

    Man, I gotta go with Bobacide.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:13 No.5165951
    Come to the best site on the Internet: http://www.ÀnónTàlk.còm/
    > tdi l
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:13 No.5165953
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    Captain Collateral, uncle WW! Tell us about Captain Collateral!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:16 No.5165972
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    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:21 No.5165999
    Seconding the vote of "both."
    >> Wasteland Warrior 07/15/09(Wed)01:21 No.5166001
    I reckon i can tell yall about Captain Collateral.

    I was in a game of Super Heroes Unlimited, and I rolled up a super soldier who was pretty much a terminator. His mode of transportation was a teleporter, only it was a prototype with several design flaws/features that made it wholly unsuitable for a superhero.

    First, I needed a beacon to lock in on. I kept the main one in my lair, and the other one I would fire out of a howitzer into whatever part of the city I needed to teleport to. This would have worked wonderfully if the teleportation didn't have a weird terminator effect where it would arc electricity all over the place, and then hollow out a 30 foot sphere, leaving only fire, destruction and Captain Freedom, who would quickly be dubbed Captain Collateral.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:25 No.5166023
    Well, this has gotten off to a promising start.

    I'd like to request that when storytime is done, Wasteland Warrior talks about how he comes up with his characters. Or rather, how he goes about making them awesome.

    I want to be able to tell epic stories too someday.
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)01:26 No.5166035

    Most of the party, li'l drunk girl aside, ventures east later in the evening to investigate reports of undead, because the Inquisitor player is paying them to. Find the remains of a mercenary company, now all zombies. Fight them with some difficulty, go back to town, patch up, sleep. Mage is awoken by Vampire attempting to feed on him in his sleep; party is almost pwned until a lucky fireball incinerates it. Party members in the know realise it was a plaguebearing Vampire, assume there are tunnels under the inn, and leave - except the Vengeful Dead, who carefully removes all the liquor, then lights the place on fire. Inquisitor goes to arrest the Lord while his bodyguards assemble the villagers in the church - the Mage (who is also a capable archer, with a pet wolf) remembers the Inquisitor is famous for butchering a village to root out the Vampires, and goes to stop this. His wolf castrates on bodyguard, and when the other tries to flee, he ROLLS ANOTHER CRIT, and sodomizes him with an arrow.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:26 No.5166038
    Bobacide: I can smell the Mary-sue tears.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:27 No.5166051
    Due to hilarious rolls, I figured I could play a 16 year old goth girl in CoC. Having the highest willpower and sanity out of the group, as well as the highest base knowledge of the occult, she wound up becoming a genuine sorcerer.

    Hilarious rolls are the mainstay of my characters and gaming experience. Recently in all games I've played, using completely different dice, I roll either natural 20s or 01s or 6s or 1s or 100s or 1s depending on the system. This has led to an adept known for his squeamishness and adversity to violence one shotting a genestealer with a laspistol, a bodger landing on one of those exploding dog things after missing a jump between two train cars carrying gun powder, and a barbarian succeeding all his fortitude saves while fighting werewolves but failing it when it came to the wolfsbane treatment.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:29 No.5166063
    A werewolf afflicted girl who because of the actions of another player went from generally cheery and well-spirited to depressed schizophrenic and suicidal (even her player was visibly and significantly affected for many sessions after). Her descent into insanity was summed up with her killing the BBEG and half the party. Essentially she became the new BBEG and took her wrath upon the world. Eventually in finally confronting her she came to realize what she had become and attempted suicide but was saved by the cleric. Heartrending in that going from a sweet girl to a literally insane werewolf overlord, we watched her slowly die inside, yet try as we might were unable to help her. After joining the party again for a month or so, visages of her old life (such as minions and impulses to kill) began to return, and eventually she did successfully take her life, to prevent herself from becoming a threat to the land again.

    An all time fave.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:29 No.5166064
    omg, Howitzers and teleports.... I love it.
    >> Wasteland Warrior 07/15/09(Wed)01:30 No.5166079
    Initially, my character only used the teleporter for emergencies, and had an m16a1.m203 with less then lethal rubber slugs in the grenade launcher, tear gas and that weird foam shit that incapacitates people. One of the other heroes was a reporter and did some good PR for me, so i was generally loved and cherished by the people of Union City.

    Then the villian decided it was time for character assassination. He snuck into my workshop and messed with some of our shit, then had one of his minions rob a bank and take hostages.
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)01:32 No.5166090

    A troop of Inquisitorial soldiers cleverly requisitioned by the Inqusititor player arrive. The church assembly goes ahead. It is now around midnight, as the Inquisitor offers a deluge of accusations against the chained up lord in the middle of the church. The rest of the party arrives as SUDDENLY,- GHOULS (five of them) burst through the windows and drop six soldiers without taking a hit. The party manages to kill them. Vengeful Dead arranges the corpses and pews as a pyre, and spends the rest of the night watching it burn. Everyone else sleeps at the mansion (Inquisitor fails a luck roll; Lord hangs himself in the night)
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:34 No.5166110
    OP is an idiot.
    >> Wasteland Warrior 07/15/09(Wed)01:38 No.5166129
    Since I hear that a major bank robbery is going down I load a teleport shell, grab my rifle and my gear and fire.

    The villian miscalibrated my howitzer, so instead of landing stunningly in front of the robbers, I materialize in the police roadblock, destroying several police cuisers and swat vans in the process. No casualties yet, so I figured I should wrap up the problem really quickly. I took aim at the thug and fired at his head, with what I thought was a rubber slug. The villain swapped out my foam rubber slug with a HE shell, which detonated and killed every hostage, along with the thug.

    I ended up killing 7 people on live TV with a 40mm grenade. It would have been like if Batman brutally sodomized Robin in town square during a 9/11 memorial. I tried to teleport out, but the cops rushed me, getting turned inside out and exploded by the side effects of my teleporter.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:40 No.5166136
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    OH GOD
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:40 No.5166137
    Oh snap.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:46 No.5166167

    Hey, at least you taught the bank robber a lesson.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:46 No.5166168
    you're captain collateral, what did they expect?
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:46 No.5166172
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    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:47 No.5166176
    Except that wasn't his name until post event.
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)01:47 No.5166178

    The next day, the Inquisitor rides east, and a new player, a Bloodhunter, goes out ahead of him. The Inquisitor runs into the Mage, who was out scouting. Composure rolls are failed, insults traded, and the Inquisitor charges. Mage kneecaps him with an arrow and knocks him from his horse, prompting the Inq. to place a bounty on him as he flees to the woods. Inquisitor goes back to town, where the Monk patches him up, but he passes out from the pain. Other new player attempts to claim bounty, but switches sides when his hair is set on fire. Party assembles in the woods, Inq. bullshits the party and lifts the bounty, allowing them to work together again.
    At this moment, the Bloodhunter returns, being chased by a Perfect War Circle of Sun Tribe Skinshifters.
    >> Wasteland Warrior 07/15/09(Wed)01:48 No.5166184
    Captain Freedom spent the next couple of days watching the TV coverage, and interviews with the villians I had put away accusing me of brutality. The fickle plebs turned against me, and the press dubbed me "Captain Collateral"

    And thus from the ashes of Captain Freedom rose Captain Collaterral, a man who just did not give a fuck. He had a huge pile of money, contacts in the arms industry and now a burning desire for vengeance.

    Instead of his family friendly look of red white and blue cammo he switched over to olive drab reinforced riot armor. He diversified his aresenal and started going into comabt with a USAS 12 loaded with flechette shells, a colt commando, a pile of grenades and machete.

    The next week a villian that I put away was scheduled for an early release, in light of my brutality. I camped out in a room facing the courthouse. Halfway though his speech I shot him in the leg with a Barret M82, and he went down screaming now that his thigh had been turned to hamburger. Then I jumped down three stories onto a press van, crushing it under my weight. While the villian was screaming I cut off his hands with a machete, popped the tear gas to make the people disperse and then teleported home.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:51 No.5166203

    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:52 No.5166208
    I played a Drunken Master in Feng Shui.

    In the very first scene, I disarmed a would-be convenience store robber of his gun, threw him buddy across the store by the nose, and caught a bag of thrown Doritos - all with a pair of chopsticks.
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)01:52 No.5166212

    Party barely manages to kill the werebeasts. One escapes, leaving the Mage's pet wolf and the Dreamchaser encased in ice. The Freelancer has his head bitten off by a Werelion. Sidekick and Bloodhunter decide to run away together (LOLgointogethigh). Inq. is visited by an 'angel' and becomes a light Mage. Party forges eastwards where they are attacked by more ghouls, and a flesh construct. Vengeful Dead cuts a slit into the monster before it smashes him into a thin red paste - Mage avenges him by lobbing fireball into the slit and igniting the corpse gas, exploding the beast. The rest fo the party manages to kill the ghouls amd the Vengeful Dead regens.
    >> H. Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)01:53 No.5166214

    See, I knew Crucible had potential for hilarity and mayhem.
    >> Wasteland Warrior 07/15/09(Wed)01:57 No.5166239
    At that point the press kept on demonizing me, because the terror worked to my advantage. I also stopped giving a rat's ass about who was innocent or not. If you were within 15 feet of a bad guy and you saw lighting coming out of what looked like a soup can that just slammed into your minivan you ran the fuck away. A villian trapped some of the other heroes in a plexiglass tank that slowly filled with water, so i used the villian to break through 5" walls of the tank, reducing him to gristle in the process. A villian took the mayor's daughter hostage by making the daughter think he was her dead mother, so I shot her 20 times at point blank range with the USAS 12. I fired a tear gas grenade into a jaywalker's stomach because he was heckling me. Eventually, the bad guys were just as terrified of me as the regular people.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)02:16 No.5166250
    One does not fuck with Captain Collateral.
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)02:18 No.5166259
    Huh, did anyone else just feel like they were DDoS'd?


    Much reduced party - Mage, Monk, Dreamchaser, and Vengeful Dead continue east, the Inquisitor flees not much later when, on reaching a Necromancer's tower, they see the Necromancer being led away in chains by Twighlight Guard and Sister-Captain Gaedryss herself. Inq. runs off for help, Vengeful Dead has hysterics (worked with Gaedryss before he died) and new character, Sublime Expression of Righeous Fury (a slightly wounded old Monk) arrives. The party follows the trail to the city of Strassenbourg, furthest bastion of civilsation. A Vampire Priest of Kroms has captured it, and slaves toil to construct a moat. The party sneaks in by giving their gear to the Vengeful Dead, who walks along the bed of the river running through the city to get under the wall. Party gets in disgused as slaves, and recovers their weapons.
    Some chucklehead alerts the guards.
    There are a lot of guards.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)02:22 No.5166276
    Yeah bit of delay there. No matter - carry on carry on!

    And thank you both!
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)02:26 No.5166288
    In one of my games there was this young human mage (about 15-16-ish) who summoned a demon as a familiar. Not very competent in magic, he could only muster something akin to a lesser demon/succubus. The demon herself was not really evil or anything, nor was she very different from a normal person save for her appearance and some minor magic capabilities.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)02:29 No.5166302
    You sure interpret 'awesome' broadly.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)02:34 No.5166327
    It has potential .. hoping there's more to the story here.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)02:34 No.5166333

    Her appearance was a moderately good-looking 18-ish girl, but with small horns and a tail, fangs and hellish markings on various places of her body. Also her eyes did this weird glow thing in the dark. Anyway, the pair didn't stand out too much, and got along rather well like close friends (strictly non-romantic relationship). Regardless of their close nature though he was notably displeased by her weak/lesser nature in terms of demons. Not that he didn't like her any less, just that as a familiar she wasn't what he needed.
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)02:37 No.5166345
    I'm thoroughly enjoying the story of Captain Collateral - makes me want to try that game...


    So, the party now has several dozen guards coming for them. The Mage half kills himself producing a small magical nuke, but vaporizes enough guards for the party to escape. He too is visited by an angel, and healed. The party make it to the ruins of the church, and a helpful NPC explains how to find a secret passage to the manor (after some, ahem, questioning). The party emerges in the basement of the manor, where Gaedryss, the Vampire Priest, and his Fane (also a Vampire) are to be found.
    The party makes it to the lobby without incident - Sublime peeks throug the keyhole on the rearmost doors of the room, and sees.. a shape, sat on the throne.
    The Vengeful Dead uses a bottle of his vodka as a rudimentary molotov cocktail, and when Sublime kicks the door open, he hurls it across the room - BAM, BBQ Vampire. Not. It was a clever ruse. Gaedryss and four of her men step from behind pillars, one is shot by the Mage, and downed.
    After a brief battle, Gaedryss flees. Sublime is wounded, and the Dreamchaser is literally holding in her own intestines with her hands.
    >> Wasteland Warrior 07/15/09(Wed)02:39 No.5166365
    The main villain was a family man, each member of the family was part of the family, and the family business. One by one I made an example of the members of the family. His two sons were into the counterfeiting game, now the artsy thing would be to kill them with the printer, but instead I killed them with a claw hammer. The daughter was in charge of the drugs, so I beat her to death in a meth lad and burned the remains. The wife was a madam, she was thrown under a train. The husband decided to make a call to my sense of dignity, so he told me that he would reveal his identity at a press conference the next day (he was a ceo of a major corporation.)
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)02:40 No.5166370
    I mentioned this character in another thread and I want yto tell you guys more.

    His father died protecting his family from ogres, and was the only one to escape. His father had always upheld that 'proper fighting' was the best way to do things, only to see him get his head cracked wide open while the only people who could help were held by the ogre-mage's spell.
    Since that day, he has been completely silent, training as a barbarian to avenge his father. He always rages in the first round of combat against ogres and similar-looking foes. He worshiped Kord, of course.

    Then one day the group happened upon a group of ogres attacking a settlement of gnomes. He was forced to watch, with his party, as the gnome father died in five rounds of brutal group combat. Then, when the father died, he raged. With an earthshattering roar
    (ooc: Can I break the spell with rage-level strength?
    DM: There's no DC, but if you pass 25, sure.
    natural 20)
    he broke out of the spell so hard he stunned the ogre-mage. hewing its head from its shoulders, he hurled it at the next, knocking it unconcious. He then turned on the next, disemboweling it, and choking it with its innards
    (ooc: Are you sure this is fine?
    DM: Hey, I'll allow it)
    then turning to the last ogre, who was running in fear.
    He chased it down, and all the group heard was a rip and a scream of terror. He returned, bloodsoaked, and calm.
    He walked up to the mother of the family.
    "Get 'im a good fun'ral. Flowers. Song. Fire."
    And then he passed out, leveling from a combination of rp and taking out three ogres and a mage.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)02:40 No.5166376
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    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)02:43 No.5166392

    I forgot to mention that for summoning a demonic presence he was kicked out of the national magic academy and banned from magic-related establishments. So the two for a year or so bummed around the lands and kingdoms for awhile, making ends meet and whatnot, thieving or performing small magic feats and such.
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)02:43 No.5166395

    A quick patchjob by the Monk, and the Dreamchaser is well enough to cower in a corner as the Fane turns up and binds the Mage in animate shadow. The Vampire turns his attentions to the Dreamchaser when it realises she's the only one that can defeat it's stealth magic - he's about to evicerate the poor girl, too fast, too strong for anyone to stop him.... when she uses her recently earned Ghostly Step power to blink to the far side of the room. Vampire swings at air, receives flaming arrow in the back. Flees angrily as Gaedryss and reinforcements come back. The younger Monk saves Sublime from death and cleaves Gaedryss in two (that girl rolled so many criticals that week). The Mage takes Gadryss' weapon, and the party moves on, upstairs, after the monsters.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)02:45 No.5166407

    Anyway, whenever she found him to be brooding over her weaker nature, she reminded him that she could more or less "Ascend" if they made a pact, solidifying their contract. In further exploring this possibility he learned that to do this they had to consummate their relationship; basically they had to sleep together. Because he was young and inexperienced at the time, he only thought she was a common demon, and didn't suspect that she could be of the succubus inclination. After much thought he finally decided to do as she instructed him, to "help her to become stronger" as he believed.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)02:47 No.5166422
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)02:49 No.5166433

    The party finds the Priest and Fane - the priest is wounded after an earlier battle with Sublime, before he joined the party. The Vengeful Dead lunges - and has a hole blown through his torso as the Vamp casts a spell, and dies. But that doesn't stop him, oh no, he knocks the other Vamp on his ass. The other Vampire fires a spell through the hole in the Dead's chest and almost hits the Mage stood behind him.
    Sublime delivers the deathblow, cheesily proclaiming:
    "Every night, must end with the dawn" as he ran it through.

    Inquisitor turns up with a small army, party is proclaimed heroes. The story should've ended there, but some people just don't quit....
    >> Wasteland Warrior 07/15/09(Wed)02:50 No.5166441
    He was making the speech to a bunch of reporters, wondering why a semi reclusive millionaire was suddenly making a press conference. Right before the big reveal there was loud thump, and he went down holding his chest. Suddenly ball lightning erupted from his chest and the podium was awash with flames. When the smoke cleared Captain Collateral was standing amongst the wreckage. Activating the speaker on his gasmask he gave a loud, angry speech about how the city has degenerated into sickness, disease and crime. he maintained that he would still be a champion of the people... by championing their only love, their vices. I told them that I would be taking over the criminal empires, and that all vice and corruption was now solely under my control.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)02:51 No.5166444
    This is the least interesting story I've ever heard.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)02:51 No.5166446

    The event of their "consummation" left him crippled in all senses; physically, mentally, and spiritually. She stuck with him for whatever reason though, taking care of him in his incapabilities. Fast-forward a few months (to where the two match their given physical descriptions) to the start of our game, where the two of them join the party in our questings and travelings.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)02:52 No.5166450
    Yah - it's treading into shaggy dog territory.

    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)02:54 No.5166458
    Well goddamn.
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)02:54 No.5166465

    The Mage turns Gaedryss' weapon over to H'kaer - he now receives a masterwork sword, and the friendship of a nation of soldiers. He gives a demonic sword he found to the church, gaining their support. The Inquisitor is sent north, to investigate Baron Snapcase for heresy, and the Mage joins him. In Hrumart, far to the north, they meet the Vengeful Dead again.
    Now, Snapcase is batshit. But Hrumart is the main port of the country, vital fishing ground, and generally indispensible. Can't move 'im. While Mage and Dead drink and reminisce, the Inq. goes to meet Snapcase.
    The Inq is kept waiting for hours. He is not pleased when he finally is admitted to the throne room.
    I shall reproduce this scene, because it was fucking priceless
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)02:58 No.5166493

    It was an interesting pair, in that she handled all the things like socializing with people and the party, making purchases, fighting, etc... and in general playing the game. He on the other hand though was more or less like a vegetable that limped around (sometimes even needed to be carried), could barely function (she needed to feed him and take him to the bathroom), and got into trouble often (stealing food from market carts because he was hungry).

    She was generally competent, and overall fun to play with while he was a fifth wheel often holding us back. She was however, violently protective of her "master" and openly opposed or even attacked anyone who looked down upon or acted badly against him, even party members.
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)02:59 No.5166504

    Inquisitor Straker enters Snapcase's throneroom - the floor is tiled, and a path of red tiles leads a merry dance up the throne. There are six guards on the dais around the throne, all watching each other. There are two cages with something humanoid huddling in them on either side of the throne. Snapcase appears to have a plate of something.

    Straker: Lord Snapcase! Good day to you.
    Snapcase: And you, Sir Inquisitor. What brings you to my Barony.
    Straker: I am here to investigate for heresy, Lord.
    Snapcase: HERESY!? This is your fault, blondie!
    *Snapcase pulls a lever - there is a twang, and something unidentified and smelling of frost slams into the guard's head, killing him.*
    Snapcase: Those crazy peasants. Once you've frozen a chicken it's no good for eating.
    >> Wasteland Warrior 07/15/09(Wed)03:00 No.5166508
    And thus Captain Collateral became the sole villain of the city, and the next group the guy ran for was tasked with killing him.

    I'm too tired for the bobacide story, but i'll tell it next time there is a relevant thread.

    Also, don't ask for me in the first post of a thread. I'm happy to tell yall stories, but I'd prefer to stumble upon a thread that has something that is relevant to my interests (like someone copypasting my kender story) or is just failing hilariously. If you want a story just hit me up at the email address in the rape/kenderhate/kjellmir thread and I'll tell you one, and you can relay it to /tg/ at your convenience.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)03:07 No.5166523

    As we played the game we came to find out more and more about them (the history already told), and after a long while found out about the event in question that rendered him in his current state.

    As I understood it, during their "consummation" she rose to full on succubus and rended his soul in twain, shattering his mind in the process. What was to be a loving 'first time' for both of them turned into a brutal ascension where she raped him for several hours, tore his soul apart, injured him all over and broke his back. All because of his novice magical skills.
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)03:07 No.5166524

    Straker: I... I see.
    Snapcase: Would you like something to eat?
    *successful identify roll - the meat on Snapcase's plate is roast baby*
    Straker: I... Yes, please, my lord.
    *He chokes it down.*
    Snapcase: You... you MADMAN! YOU JUST ATE BABY!
    Straker: I, wait, what? It was an honest mistake!
    Snapcase: It was? Jolly good, then. I was feeding it to my pets.
    *He gestures to a cage. He has caged Flesh. Caged. Flesh. Oh gods.*
    Snapcase: Aren't you good boys? Yes you are! Yes you are! *Snapcase's affectionate words are punctuated by him beating the creature with a stick.*

    Straker excuses himself, and talks the Mage & Dead (Nova and Sol, respectively) into helping him kill Snapcase by convincing them he's going to close their favourite brewery.
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)03:26 No.5166536

    Our intrepid heroes return to the manor. In the corridor before the main hall, somebody, for reasons I can't recall, said "Duck"
    From the other room, they heard "DID SOMEBODY SAY DUCK?!"
    The portraits lining the hall snap open... and live ducks are thrust into the room.
    Sol barges ahead, triggering shitloads of traps as Snapcase's throne ascends into the ceiling. Finally, the two caged Flesh are released.
    The party just barely kills them. They search the manor for a while, then find Snapcase's bedroom. Two of them notice that, inspite of it being four PM, outside of Snapcase's window is pitchblack. One player sees, as Snapcase ignores them like nothing ever happened, leaning over his desk with his back to them, that there is an inscription above the bed - carved in with fingernails, it looks like.
    >> Wasteland Warrior 07/15/09(Wed)03:32 No.5166557

    Here's how you make your character awesome.

    Step 1: pretend you are the character
    step 2: ?????
    Step 3: PROFIT

    seriously, just pretend you are a kid playing cowboys and injuns or something, only with dice instead of "I shot you, nuh uh, uh huh"

    also, take a little time between sessions to think about where your character is going and what you are going to do later on.
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)03:32 No.5166558

    Suitably terrifed, the party also notes that Snapcase has a little pyramid of vokda bottles - and they give Straker reproachful looks for his lies. Snapcase turns around, revealing that he has indeed removed his eyes, as Nova attempts to explode the bottles with a fireball.
    The explosion is comprised of flower petals instead of fire.
    The party flees, Nova nukes the manor.

    After Straker leaves, a Flesh emerges from the ruins. Nova incinerates it with a phoenix shaped fire blast, Nova makes a speech, the people like them.
    The town guard and Merchant's Guild are at odds over the next leader - Nova and Sol intimidate the guard into submission, and talk the head of the Guild into being their economic advisor.

    Nova Van Fronze becomes Phoenix Lord of Hrumart, and Sol Ralek the Eternal is captain of the guard.
    Nova proclaims an amnesty for Mages and darkies - and the Inquisition player is sent to destroy the town at the head of an Inquisitorial army.

    We have yet to play out the epic Battle of Hrumart.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)03:33 No.5166565

    His weak control though caused her to retain some awareness, and after regaining control over herself she realized what she had done and sought medical treatment for him where he spent something like two months to get to his current state. Disturbed by her own actions, she sought to take care of him from then on however she could, leading to her yandere-like state, and an overbearing hatred of herself. Overall her motivation was to get him back to normal. In the end he went back to normal DURING the BBEG fight in a rather cool transition.

    That's about it, I just thought it was an interesting duo whipped up, and watching their development and playing with them was quite fun. Made me feel bad that I just played a farmer that got tired of plowing fields, and felt like plowing peoples faces and lusty barmaids for a change.
    >> H 07/15/09(Wed)03:34 No.5166566

    Priceless. Oh god I hope that if they kill him he comes back somehow. I just want to see this in person, so to speak.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)03:36 No.5166582
    That wasn't awesome at all. A superhero accidentally causes collateral damage, so he stops caring and goes on a rampage. Caring is what heroes do. It's not admirable to just go in guns blazing without caring about the consequences, it's just careless. Real heroes do the best they can, because that's all that separates them from hypocritical thugs.
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)03:38 No.5166595

    You will. This campaign is now the sample campaign, hell, it's canon now.
    Remember - they sealed Snapcase and his manservant in Hell when they burned the manor down.
    Snapcase will return. It won't be pretty.
    Or maybe it will. Maybe it will be too pretty.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)03:41 No.5166607
    It sounds like a decent story to me. A lot of things could have been better about it, but still, a decent start there.

    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)03:47 No.5166633
    Personally, I actually like that story. Guy tries to be hero, gets a reporter friend to up his public image as a saint despite being grossly unprepared (villains could sneak into his HQ, he thought firing a Terminator-Teleporter into a city was a good idea, etc), and bought into his own crap. The Villain utterly destroys his public image, so he snaps.

    All of a sudden the villain finds himself watching as his plan backfires. Rather then destroying his enemy by destroying his image, his enemy becomes more and more dangerous.

    Eventually it escalates so far that the villain, trying to find a way out (going to jail by confessing his crimes) dies a horrible death, and suddenly "No captain, YOU are the villain."

    I liked it.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)03:51 No.5166648
    It was interesting in the beginning before it became a frenzy of generic rage
    >> H 07/15/09(Wed)03:58 No.5166690

    Cool story bro.

    I frankly don't care if the guy's a hero or not to you, he became an awesome villain.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)04:01 No.5166707
    True, it would have been nice to see more ironic/symbolic/brutal punishments, but it still was effective.

    ... Man, now I want to try playing a villainous Mutants and Masterminds game. Kidnap the Heros girlfriend, put her in a guillotine, rig it to activate when he enters the building (activates motion sensors on the doors, or some kind of vibration sensors attached to the windows/walls if he breaks in that way).
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)04:01 No.5166708


    Don't you worry Timmy, real heroes exist. Also justice and mercy are concepts intrinsic to the universe.

    Captain Collateral is awesome.
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)04:04 No.5166723

    I believe you're looking for Necessary Evil - wherein all the superheroes were killed in the first phase of the alien invasion. Who will save mankind from the alien menace now?
    Oh, look, the supervillains are still alive.

    Villains must then save earth in order to conquer it, while trying to surreptitiously off one another to cut down on competition.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)04:06 No.5166733
    >Mad lord Snapcase

    Someone in your group reads Discworld, right?
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)04:07 No.5166740
    That description made me uncomfortably aroused.
    >> Sublime Expression of Righteous Fury 07/15/09(Wed)04:09 No.5166755

    I, as GM and writer of the system and setting, did use that guy as a Discworld homage.
    Now the fucker's gone and become canon.
    Gonna have to change his name or something before it sells, unless Mr. Pratchett is likely to have a sense humour about the whole thing.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)04:11 No.5166769
    Oh, he probably will. He might go 'wat', but he'll chuckle.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)04:11 No.5166770
    Okay... here's one. Shadowrun, the group is in Caracas after things got a little bit too hot in Seattle. The job is to close down a nightclub run by some criminal syndicate that was annoying our employers, a different criminal syndicate. The annoying twist is that we have to do it without killing anyone.

    So, after scouting out the place and discovering that it's your basic nightclub, complete with drug sales and a brothel in back, we decide that we can probably just smash the place a few times and eventually they'll decide that it's unprofitable. Admittedly, doing so repeatedly is likely to become increasingly dangerous, but security is expensive and we had nothing better to do until shipping back to Seattle at the end of the month.

    That was the plan until our employers told us that we had to do the job by the end of the week or we wouldn't get paid, anyway. That put a new light on things. We needed something remarkably devastating in order to shut the place down, but we couldn't just blow it up because if anyone died we wouldn't get paid.

    I could embellish this a little more, but basically we bribed the drivers of a pair of sewage trucks and pumped about six inches of concentrated shit onto the nightclub floor. I'm pretty sure that speaks for itself.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)04:13 No.5166782
    It occurs to me after posting that this is actually "awesome character thread", not "awesome stunts thread", but eh. The characters were all pretty generic except when coming up with completely insane plots, really.
    >> H 07/15/09(Wed)04:13 No.5166785

    Like I said, I don't think Pratchett'll sue, but best to change it a little bit. Mad Lord Bitebag would be far enough yet close enough that those in the know would get it. And have him wear dresses, that'll give it away as well. And a horse and a goldfish as senators- or barons, in this case.

    And the Ash thing from Alien as well, though Ridley Scott seems pretty relaxed.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)04:14 No.5166787
    Even as a villain, Captain Collateral is generic and thuggish. He has no style, no flair, no intelligence, nothing even remotely admirable. He's a joke.

    It's not naive or foolish to think that the world can be changed for the better. It's naive and foolish to think you "know better" and take the easy way out instead of actually helping people.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)04:18 No.5166808
    Know it all anon is know it all.
    >>He has no style, no flair
    If ever there was any doubt, here's the proof.
    >> Slade 07/15/09(Wed)04:28 No.5166843
         File1247646485.jpg-(79 KB, 600x401, watchmen_comedian.jpg)
    79 KB
    Hey Wasteland Warrior, I believe this guy wants to have a word with you.
    >> Anonymous 07/15/09(Wed)05:03 No.5167039

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