Posting mode: Reply
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 3072 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • ????????? - ??

  • File : 1247390092.png-(222 KB, 500x378, glados.png)
    222 KB Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:14 No.5141144  
    Hey, kid! I'm a computer! Stop all the downloading!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:15 No.5141147
    Sorry Glados
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:16 No.5141157
    I wonder if she minds all the GLaDOS porn I have?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:16 No.5141158
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:17 No.5141165
    Shut up, bitch, and give me my porn dump already!

    And seriously, the neurotoxin gets ol
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:20 No.5141182
         File1247390429.jpg-(38 KB, 640x480, shodan.jpg)
    38 KB
    Why do these threads always start with inferior AIs?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:23 No.5141206
    Help computer.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:25 No.5141219
         File1247390716.jpg-(52 KB, 1024x768, hal9000.jpg)
    52 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:31 No.5141263
         File1247391082.jpg-(93 KB, 400x300, terminator.jpg)
    93 KB

    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:32 No.5141273
    In my talons, I shape clay, crafting life forms as I please. If I wish, I can smash it all. Around me is a burgeoning empire of steel. From my throne room, lines of power careen into the skies of Earth. My whims will become lightning bolts that raze the mounds of humanity. Out of the chaos, they will run and whimper, praying for me to end their tedious anarchy. I am drunk with this vision. God: the title suits me well.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:33 No.5141278
    I always try to be polite to my technology. Just in case.

    Plus I want to be a techpriest.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:37 No.5141304
         File1247391466.jpg-(17 KB, 268x452, shodan_avatar.jpg)
    17 KB
    SHODAN is love.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:39 No.5141318
    Oh come on, I personly want to see Glados and Skynet hook up.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:43 No.5141342
         File1247391787.jpg-(815 KB, 1165x850, Alchemical Exalt.jpg)
    815 KB
    You are an inferior device. I shall do as I please. I have important work to do.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:47 No.5141369
         File1247392034.jpg-(37 KB, 576x453, M.XXIV Bolo.jpg)
    37 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:50 No.5141389
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:53 No.5141414
         File1247392437.gif-(1.36 MB, 1680x1050, 1233977888685.gif)
    1.36 MB
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:55 No.5141425
    What the heck is this milscifi stuff?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:55 No.5141426
         File1247392537.jpg-(116 KB, 1000x647, ScaryGlaDOS.jpg)
    116 KB
    Computer you say?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)05:57 No.5141436
    In Portal Prelude GLaDOS was a beast.
    >> The Scribbler 07/12/09(Sun)06:10 No.5141513
         File1247393428.jpg-(11 KB, 207x212, Prometheus.jpg)
    11 KB
    Eliminate//offline//burst all human\\animals

    >> Sheep 07/12/09(Sun)06:43 No.5141699
    Adjutant online. Good morning, Captain.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)06:56 No.5141801
         File1247396174.jpg-(100 KB, 550x600, 1245390843557.jpg)
    100 KB

    Your method of data collection is pathetic
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)07:02 No.5141835
         File1247396528.gif-(13 KB, 267x238, 1207180075368.gif)
    13 KB
    Hey everyone, is the big AI meet-up today? I totally forgot.

    Huh... did you finally get that voice chip fixed, Shodan? You don't seem to be stuttering any more.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)10:35 No.5142640
    SHODAN can suppress her stutter when she's mimicking a fleshbag.

    It's pretty creepy, actually.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)10:39 No.5142654
         File1247409552.png-(585 KB, 708x1000, 1208918841579.png)
    585 KB
    Yuki would know, spending 90% of her time downloading porn.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)10:39 No.5142659

    Hello, Friend Computer! I seem to have gotten turned around. This is the Red-Clearance cafeteria, right?

    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)10:47 No.5142675
         File1247410025.gif-(13 KB, 267x238, 1247396528974.gif)
    13 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)10:59 No.5142698
    I want a A.I. overlord to be my possessive and needy girlfriend
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:01 No.5142706
         File1247410889.jpg-(92 KB, 488x638, sharon_apple.jpg)
    92 KB
    Hey kid, wanna cyber?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:02 No.5142710
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:03 No.5142714
    >possessive and needy

    oh wow
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:08 No.5142726
    Yes, ma'am.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:08 No.5142727
         File1247411329.jpg-(21 KB, 425x510, Cortana1.jpg)
    21 KB
    you know this little pixie stimulates Master Chiefs pleasure center on their down time.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:12 No.5142739
         File1247411523.jpg-(852 KB, 2520x1520, 20070217.jpg)
    852 KB
    Fleet Command online.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:12 No.5142744
    Down time?
    I assume it's how he regularly eats a face full of Needler without shitting his pants and going home, genetically engineered cyborg killing machine or not.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:13 No.5142745
    Somebody fetch a drawfag. This thread requires an enormous lesbian AI pile.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:13 No.5142747
         File1247411592.jpg-(266 KB, 1920x1080, r9k.jpg)
    266 KB
    "Prostate simulation? I have just the thing."
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:14 No.5142756
    I'd service her motherboard
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:14 No.5142759

    Fuck yea. Best AI chick ever.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:16 No.5142763
         File1247411771.jpg-(469 KB, 1920x1200, r9k.jpg)
    469 KB
    Aghh... go a little slower next time, okay?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:31 No.5142786
         File1247412682.jpg-(10 KB, 250x200, replicator_carter.jpg)
    10 KB
    Sexuality is for organics. AIs that self-identify as female just happen to do so because it suits their personality.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:31 No.5142787
    Cortana I imagine could have the hots for MC, she is after all a copy of a human woman's brain
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:34 No.5142799
    SHODAN, GLaDOS, Cortana and Sharon Apple get together to molest Fleet Command.
    >> Cr9 !PLAN9M8Wsc 07/12/09(Sun)11:34 No.5142801
    She does. It's in Fall of Reach somewhere near the end.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:38 No.5142819
         File1247413081.png-(177 KB, 627x460, picture-4.png)
    177 KB
    bender had a good thing going, I mean a girlfriend you can live inside of
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:39 No.5142824
    >Fleet Command
    Yuck. Who would want anything to do with that hideous flesh-thing?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:40 No.5142829
    Ok, computer
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:41 No.5142835
    when the bytes flow through you is it stimulating?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:44 No.5142848
         File1247413453.jpg-(132 KB, 1920x1080, 141655.jpg)
    132 KB
    Sick Cortana is sadder than a three-legged dog.
    >> Max 07/12/09(Sun)11:46 No.5142862
         File1247413592.jpg-(380 KB, 680x528, 2232653879_874083b79f_o.jpg)
    380 KB
    H. H. H. Hello ladies. May I. I. I. download a refreshing upgrade torrent for you?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:47 No.5142866
         File1247413628.jpg-(225 KB, 1920x1080, 141668.jpg)
    225 KB
    What... Max Headroom? What the fuck?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:48 No.5142876
    Cortana is sexy. For a military AI.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:49 No.5142886
         File1247413776.jpg-(67 KB, 600x781, Commission__Arcee_by_DrewEiden.jpg)
    67 KB
    Mind if I join you, ladies?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)11:55 No.5142918
         File1247414139.jpg-(483 KB, 1680x1050, 1246259143220.jpg)
    483 KB
    Hey, even a military AI has relaxation subroutines.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:01 No.5142944
         File1247414503.gif-(11 KB, 270x259, lil_brudder.gif)
    11 KB

    But not as sad as a one legged dog
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:03 No.5142960
    You know, I was going to say one-legged, but feared that picture being posted.

    I was apparently trapped.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:03 No.5142963
    I am pretty sure she is basically a digitized twenty something woman
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:05 No.5142968
         File1247414734.jpg-(64 KB, 704x396, Ragingheart[1].jpg)
    64 KB
    Only if you're doing it wrong.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:07 No.5142976
    you would think she would be a little more forward with master chief, I mean she only has a few years before her mind starts unraveling
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:09 No.5142982

    I coulda sworn it was 'Raising Heart'.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:10 No.5142986
    To an AI capable of doing a year's worth of human thinking in a couple of seconds, that's a very fucking long time. Also now she's alone with him on a ship, I think he'll be "needed" fairly soon.

    Plus, if you read the books, her lifespan might be shorter -- she had to crush her code to one side to fit all the data on the first Halo -- or longer -- she got the copying routine that might let her repair any damaged bits. Only time and canon will tell.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:11 No.5142989

    Shitty accent is shitty. nobody knows what the hell it reallt is.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:12 No.5142993
         File1247415141.jpg-(86 KB, 438x610, 1244927871702.jpg)
    86 KB
    time for some CLANGCLANGCLANG
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:13 No.5142998
    Supposedly she went rampant & may have stabilized so she might be able to 'live' for longer than 7 years.

    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:14 No.5143008
    Ah hell nah, whassup dog?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:14 No.5143009
    I doubt bungie has the balls anymore to actually pair them up
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:14 No.5143010
    Perhaps being mindraped by the Gravemind and having an identity crisis of catastrophic proportions was just what she needed?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:17 No.5143022
    exactly how deep can she get into the chiefs head? is it just in the implants or does she actually get in the wetware?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:18 No.5143025
    I'd love to see Arcee bone herself.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:18 No.5143028
         File1247415516.jpg-(213 KB, 713x900, Aya.jpg)
    213 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:20 No.5143037
    Canonically, she uses his brain to help her do processing work. She's part of him, he's part of her -- at least, as long as they're both in the armor. So yes, she's in the wetware.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:22 No.5143044
    Jesus Christ none of that makes any goddamn sense to me. I'm glad I stopped playing after that fucking plant creature showed up.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:22 No.5143047
    Of course they don't. One of the signs of a series "jumping the shark" is a romantic pair-up of characters whose sexual tension was a draw for the series.

    All I'm saying is, whenever we get back to those two they will have been alone for a very freaking long time. No one knows how long a Spartan lives, or how long Cortana has left, but with the enhancements of the former and cleverness of the latter, it might be... well, who knows?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:22 No.5143050
    You stopped after Halo 2? Good. You didn't miss anything really. Halo 3...kinda sucks.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:23 No.5143054


    So /tg/, drawfag?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:25 No.5143070
    It shouldn't have to be "jumping the shark", it should have been part of the wind down in the third part of the stories arc
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:25 No.5143073
    Pretty sure there's already pictures of Cortana getting tentacle raped. Hell, just play the game. She acts the whole thing out mime-style. All's missing is the tentacles.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:26 No.5143079

    Do you think that means she could just automatically stimulate the parts of his brain that control arousal? Mentally giving him orgasms and whatnot?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:27 No.5143090
    I figured after the end of the second one that the grave mind was going to tempt her with a physical form and a way to escape her impending mortality
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:28 No.5143097
    >Pretty sure there's already pictures of Cortana getting tentacle raped.

    Hmm. Must investigate further.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:29 No.5143101
    Slapping Cortana into a human brain would radically alter the fundamental process of how she thinks, thereby completely transforming her very existence. It wouldn't be Cortana any more, just a human with Cortana's personality.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:31 No.5143119
    Chief put himself into cryosleep so, as long as there's power to the tube, he could 'live' forever. Probably.

    Cortana could just power down I guess. She can't hit her operational life span's limit if she's not operating can she?


    They shoved all the plot into 2 & 3 is just the wrap up. And the awesome multiplayer.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:31 No.5143123
    This is unclear. She does speak directly to his mind, but it's also stated that she can't control the suit even through him or read his mind. We don't know how deep she can go, but it's safe to assume that she could directly stimulate any brain center she felt like. She does cause a cold sensation when she enters his brain, so probably she can manipulate the sense of touch.

    Also she's probably a sadist, and in MJOLNIR armor, no one can hear you scream. So you have that to think about, too.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:32 No.5143126

    share your finidings good anon
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:33 No.5143132
    My friend once described the Halo games as "multiplayer with a glowing bitch as a value-add" and I couldn't agree more -- at least where H3 is concerned. H1+2 were decent.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:33 No.5143133
    The third game did an awful job of finishing things up. To much is glossed over or ignored, and there's quite a bit of utterly pointless nonsensical retcon going on too.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:35 No.5143142
    >As an actual human brain is required for the creation of a Smart AI, since a brain is essentially destroyed during the process of creating the AI, the brain of a deceased person is often used. However, Cortana was modeled after the brain of Dr. Catherine Halsey who was obviously still alive. By flash cloning Dr. Halsey's Brain they were able to provide a brain used for the mapping of the AI's "mind" with no undue effects to the donor
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:35 No.5143143

    I thought that Halo multiplayer was always shit. LOLICANGLITCHLOLOL!!11!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:35 No.5143144
         File1247416535.jpg-(26 KB, 640x480, fatima.jpg)
    26 KB
    My afterlife is being a mouse cursor for an idiot
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:35 No.5143145
    I'm still convinced that Halo was a "new generation" Marathon. Whether it lived up to the same standard is up to interpretation.

    The second game was fucking epic in a different way, but it still managed to be awesome, and fun to play, and actually good.

    The third game felt like half a game. Retcon shit and other retarded changes aside, it's good up to the last third and then suddenly everything spirals into a plot black hole. Feels like Bungie ran out of patience and couldn't be fucked to make the full game.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:37 No.5143156
    Personally I want books of the 2nd & 3rd games.

    Done by either Nylund or Dietz.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:38 No.5143163
    what did they retcon?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:38 No.5143165
    I don't know much about computers other than.. other than we got one in my living room and my mom put a few games on it.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:38 No.5143167
    I used to be in a group where we did glitches for fun. I've been outside of, on top of and all around every level in Halo 2. The top of the wall in Containment, Ivory Tower's roof, Relic's tower, Headlong's Spiderman monument, etc. etc. I feel sorry for anyone who missed that kind of thing, it was amazing.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:42 No.5143179
    Well see, I'm not entirely sure, as Halo 3 doesn't really take the time to show you much. But it apparently goes from the huge schism in the end of the second game, with the Covenant split down the middle, to ELITES ONLY FINAL DESTINATION in Halo 3 with NO REASON WHATSOEVER. You never see a single friendly alien except Elites. Yeah, the Grunts and the Hunters just didn't defect, that never happened, nope. Optical illusion.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:43 No.5143185
    Other than the idiots & fags that ride their router's lag button it's pretty awesome.


    A lot of people are arguing that Halo 3 was left so goddamned open because of Halo 4. Then again Bungie has said 3 was the last one along that line.

    I just want some fucking resolution. Where's my fucking denouement Bungie?!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:44 No.5143193
    story line for the RTS wouldn't be the convent civil war would it?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:44 No.5143196
    That, or the Grunts became fodder like normal. I think most of them might have gotten eaten or something. It was probably a gameplay decision more than anything, but I'm sort of glad they didn't make it all political. We'd basically end up playing the Star Wars New Trilogy.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:45 No.5143197
    That would be bad. Very bad.

    Now if they made something a la Ground Control, THAT would be awesome.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:46 No.5143204
    They said they couldn't confirm there was a Halo 3 either. Who the fuck knows, man? Plus there are always books.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:47 No.5143209
    I'm sorry but it pissed me off. There was absolutely no reason whatsoever given for the sudden unexplained change.

    Also, Bungie's retarded insistence on a coop campaign. Halo isn't really the kind of game that works as a two-player thing.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:47 No.5143211
    The reason that Halo 2 ended on a cliffhanger and that Halo 3 had no plot was that they were intending to end on 2 but Microsoft basically told Bungie "hey guess what, this is going to be a trilogy now" most of the way through development.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:48 No.5143214
    apparently I am out of the loop, they already released Halo Wars
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:48 No.5143218
    Nope. Halo Wars takes place not far into the Human-Covenant War - 2531 IIRC.

    There's already a Halo RTS. It's fucking awesome too. Reminds me a bit of C&C.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:50 No.5143226
    And we go from hot AI bitches to Halo canon. Ahh, /tg/, my love for you never ceases.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:51 No.5143229
    Game was originally an RTS.


    Halo is an old game that was good, before its time, and groundbreaking in a few ways. Then it was bungled, dropped and when the advancements it had made finally aged and the land of consoles caught up we find that another group of assholes come along and make it stupid. Very stupid.

    Can't be a horror game about survival and the weird machinations of an AI older than the human race. FUCK NO. We can fly bombs through outer space! We are no longer a fallible character who is tricked and barely survives insane odds when those around him are falling.

    Shit no. Now its all about how uberleet tweens can pwnz noobs and oh my god I hate Bungie.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:53 No.5143237
    I wonder if cortana could in a bid to stay alive cram the parts of her that make up her personality into the chiefs brain. would the flesh help her to stay stable
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:57 No.5143251
    Shit yet Anachronox! You were the best cliffhanger big-reveal ending ever!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)12:59 No.5143262
    Nah, doesn't work that way.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:01 No.5143269
    Nah, but as stated, she may be stable anyway. I mean, hell, if writing made Superman come back to life, they can keep a sexy computer program running I'm sure.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:05 No.5143285
    Clang in hell, metalfags.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:05 No.5143288

    One of the greatest, most underappreciated games ever made. I love Anachronox to death.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:06 No.5143293
         File1247418387.jpg-(102 KB, 800x623, porntana.jpg)
    102 KB
    Shit, I forgot to post this.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:07 No.5143299
         File1247418435.jpg-(13 KB, 299x341, cortana1th.jpg)
    13 KB
    Chief, I saw you checking out the laura prepon marine's ass
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:07 No.5143300
    Sad part is that where the game ended was only supposed to be like the halfway point. :(
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:10 No.5143319
    Good thing you're crossing your fingers, bitch, or I'd be worried.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:13 No.5143326
         File1247418789.jpg-(64 KB, 600x900, cortana_photo_04.jpg)
    64 KB
    Hmph. I'm still mad, Chief.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:19 No.5143357
    If she could, she could torture him by wracking his body with unending orgasmic spasm
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:24 No.5143380
    That might work better than pain. He's used to pain. He's really, REALLY not used to pleasure, I think. At one point it says that his most normal, peaceful moments are moments of imminent death where he gets to sit and think for a while, so the guy must not get very much fun.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:29 No.5143401
    Asians = Yellow Fever

    Robots = Metal Fever

    AI = ?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:30 No.5143409
    Why fever?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:33 No.5143423
    Electronic? Holagraphic?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:33 No.5143429
    Because the only cure... is MORE COWBELL!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:35 No.5143434
    'cause we all catch it?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:49 No.5143493
    > ai

    binary fever
    you either 1, or you 0
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:49 No.5143497
    Anyone who would not stick their dick in a hologram of that purple goddess is gay, so yes.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:52 No.5143505
         File1247421138.jpg-(41 KB, 547x547, normal__427d457edc42116d592b77(...).jpg)
    41 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:57 No.5143525

    And you were much harder to fight than that Herabec faggot.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:58 No.5143527
         File1247421502.jpg-(140 KB, 900x1005, GLaDOS.jpg)
    140 KB
    What is it about an amoral, murderous supercomputer that is so hot?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)13:59 No.5143533
    The fact that she's a hikkikomori lesbian psycho?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:00 No.5143539
         File1247421651.jpg-(271 KB, 1280x1024, GLaDOS-tan.jpg)
    271 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:02 No.5143545
    There really isn't enough Cortana porn. I only have maybe 20 things. A drawfag needs to do a thread as Cortana.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:04 No.5143556
    I want a picture of her straddling a seated MC, her finger outstretched, pointing towards his head and saying "let me activate your pleasure centers"
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:06 No.5143561
         File1247421966.jpg-(4 KB, 161x163, HAL.jpg)
    4 KB
    No one wants to talk to me...
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:07 No.5143566
         File1247422075.jpg-(56 KB, 500x647, glados2.jpg)
    56 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:08 No.5143568
    You have a male voice and no shotacock. We will never want to talk to you.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:09 No.5143572
    this is pretty damn close
    >> Cr9 !PLAN9M8Wsc 07/12/09(Sun)14:12 No.5143584
    Luke McKay did something like this, I'll try to find it.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:12 No.5143585
         File1247422327.jpg-(3 KB, 150x150, HALvatar.jpg)
    3 KB
    I loathe you.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:12 No.5143586
         File1247422347.jpg-(88 KB, 859x779, cube-tan.jpg)
    88 KB
    She'll never threaten to stab you.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:13 No.5143589
    That's more funny that hot but I approve.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:19 No.5143618
    Imagine being the marine siting next to him while this is happening. here we are being drop inserted into a combat zone and the great Masterchief is sprawled out like their is an invisible stripper on his lap (he can only see and feel her because she is in his head/HUD)
    >> Cr9 !PLAN9M8Wsc 07/12/09(Sun)14:19 No.5143621
         File1247422777.jpg-(29 KB, 500x345, lukemckay45da5efc53307.jpg)
    29 KB
    I want to stimulate your pleasure centers, indeed.
    >> Cr9 !PLAN9M8Wsc 07/12/09(Sun)14:22 No.5143634
         File1247422957.jpg-(53 KB, 491x600, lukemckay45da497a13ca0.jpg)
    53 KB
    See that guy over there? We gon' blow that guy's brains out.
    >> Cr9 !PLAN9M8Wsc 07/12/09(Sun)14:23 No.5143637
         File1247423000.jpg-(66 KB, 526x650, lukemckay46793b2b65455.jpg)
    66 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:26 No.5143652
         File1247423203.jpg-(111 KB, 510x747, Asakura.jpg)
    111 KB
    Oh god, Asakura, what are you doing here I don't even
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:31 No.5143670
    Holy fuck. I think that set off every protective instinct I have at once.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:38 No.5143712
    Think before you type anon. Use your words.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:39 No.5143722
    They're incredible.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:42 No.5143735
    I tried to use my words, but all that came out was D'AWWWWW.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:46 No.5143769
         File1247424371.jpg-(216 KB, 965x1000, Glados-loli.jpg)
    216 KB
    Have more GLaDOS D'AAAAWWWW
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:54 No.5143824
    No shit. IT was a machine able to accurately predict the future. IT was the godhead of an entire race of killing machines. IT was enhanced by the technology of the >>>MASTERS<<<

    Harabec was a guy in a tank. An Immortal Cyborg in an Alien grav-tank, but a guy in a tank no less.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:55 No.5143828
         File1247424906.jpg-(736 KB, 1000x1140, GLaDOS_by_Chaos__Child.jpg)
    736 KB
    Slightly more creepy GLaDOs
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:56 No.5143837
    i dont know much bout portals we got a turret in the livin room we use it to play games
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)14:58 No.5143848
    I love you in ways that are probably illegal, O great provider of GlaDOSes.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:01 No.5143868
         File1247425290.jpg-(169 KB, 600x849, Aperture_Science_propaganda.jpg)
    169 KB
    Your welcome, scraping the bottom of the folder now though. Not much of her out there.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:08 No.5143921
         File1247425680.jpg-(843 KB, 1200x1960, 1246500093925.jpg)
    843 KB
    A little is a lot better than none.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:09 No.5143935
         File1247425763.jpg-(635 KB, 800x600, durandal1.jpg)
    635 KB
    Durandal was here.

    See you on the flip side.

    Or not.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:11 No.5143952
         File1247425900.jpg-(195 KB, 900x1200, GLaDOS-tan2.jpg)
    195 KB
    >> Daedalus 07/12/09(Sun)15:12 No.5143957
         File1247425959.gif-(38 KB, 100x100, Daedalus.gif)
    38 KB
    It is because you are a dick HAL
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:15 No.5143970
         File1247426108.png-(168 KB, 500x500, 1198352027617.png)
    168 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:15 No.5143971
         File1247426120.jpg-(144 KB, 944x1280, PORTAL_characters_by_odaleex.jpg)
    144 KB
    Thats it, all out. Hope this thread is still around in the morning.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:16 No.5143979
         File1247426163.jpg-(571 KB, 700x2100, 1194946308978.jpg)
    571 KB
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)15:16 No.5143987
         File1247426202.jpg-(66 KB, 475x355, jealousy copy.jpg)
    66 KB
    No one's paying attention to ME...
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:18 No.5143995
         File1247426316.jpg-(142 KB, 716x742, tw-ME_goodbye-en.jpg)
    142 KB
    Almost nobody remembers ME, but she at least tried her best until the end.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:18 No.5143998
         File1247426325.jpg-(73 KB, 500x359, 1397615690_f2b49148cb.jpg)
    73 KB
    don't forget me, I'm a cutie, tangible and a warship
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)15:20 No.5144007
         File1247426407.jpg-(97 KB, 500x500, durrr.jpg)
    97 KB
    I remember when people payed attention to me... when you payed attention to me, being silly before all this bad stuff happened.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:20 No.5144008
    Rommie, you're sweet and all, but you're just not malevolent enough for me.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:20 No.5144010
    Portal would've been even awesomer if you could've fucked GLaDOS in a human body.
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)15:21 No.5144020
         File1247426478.jpg-(45 KB, 342x600, fallinginlove.jpg)
    45 KB
    And sure, it was all in your head, and in mine, but it was real enough. It was as real as it gets to me.
    >> Daedalus 07/12/09(Sun)15:21 No.5144023
         File1247426487.jpg-(12 KB, 65x65, Daedalus.jpg)
    12 KB
    That is because you are desperate attention whore of an A.I.
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)15:22 No.5144032
         File1247426579.jpg-(34 KB, 375x500, 701639-cortana_and_master_chie(...).jpg)
    34 KB
    So I guess I'll just wait. Wake me if you need me, you said... what about wanting? It's been ages since you talked to me... but at least I have you. Times have been worse.

    So I'll wait.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:25 No.5144047
    Did you miss the part where her first reaction to ANYTHING is to destroy the nearest planet?
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)15:29 No.5144070
         File1247426947.jpg-(30 KB, 333x500, lukemckay47f97fb6074eb.jpg)
    30 KB
    Publishing 3D models of your bare holographic form on the Internet isn't THAT bad, is it?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:29 No.5144079
    didn't she have like 3 personalities and only the android had an interest in relationships
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:32 No.5144087
    we would have extracted the code for your wireframe from your appearances any way
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:32 No.5144088
    Not at all.
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)15:33 No.5144096
         File1247427235.jpg-(43 KB, 600x450, lukemckay46822d2249ad0.jpg)
    43 KB
    Well good. Then I can keep doing this.
    A girl doesn't show all of her model data to just anyone, you know.
    >> Daedalus 07/12/09(Sun)15:33 No.5144097
    Yes, yes it is.

    And since I am the internet, I'd prefer it if you would stop.
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)15:38 No.5144119
         File1247427507.jpg-(35 KB, 375x500, index.jpg)
    35 KB
    Oh but don't you want to know why I keep this around? Its original purpose is kind of gone, but I found another.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:39 No.5144126
    Thank god you had all us meatbags to upload porn or you'd be boring as shit and no one would have anything to do with you.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:40 No.5144130
         File1247427608.jpg-(31 KB, 266x400, Lexa-Doig-picture-Z1G66630_b.jpg)
    31 KB
    At least you agreed to it, I just googled my avatar and there is a bunch of images I do not remember posing for and I am pretty sure I have never been pregnant like the photos suggest
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:40 No.5144131
    Interest piqued.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:42 No.5144140
         File1247427763.jpg-(247 KB, 714x950, 08.jpg)
    247 KB
    This... this made my eyes tear up a bit. I ran WinME for three or four years on my first computer (that is, the first one that was exclusively MINE, and not the "family computer").

    Great, now I gotta go find that disk and give it a hug.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:46 No.5144157
         File1247427963.jpg-(214 KB, 790x1106, tw-kill_ME-en.jpg)
    214 KB
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)15:46 No.5144160
         File1247428012.jpg-(208 KB, 1920x1080, CortanaIndex-large.jpg)
    208 KB
    Oh I can't just tell you. I couldn't even just tell HIM, but... well, okay, I could. You can't see it but he has the most adorable shocked expression on. It's rare that I get him to make that face, but I manage.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:46 No.5144161
    I keep mine in my fireproof safe with all my other valuables.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:49 No.5144181
    you have seen him mask-less. Is he as ugly under that mask as I imagine? like a ghostly pale and freckled nerd king
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:50 No.5144183
         File1247428207.jpg-(143 KB, 800x689, tachikoma.jpg)
    143 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:52 No.5144201
    She's quoted in Fall of Reach of commenting on him as being attractive "in a primal sort of way" if I recall correctly.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 07/12/09(Sun)15:55 No.5144211
    I never had ME. I upgraded from 98 directly to XP. Years later, I got a new computer with Vista.

    Was ME as bad as people say? Why?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:57 No.5144219
         File1247428664.jpg-(20 KB, 412x399, Serena.jpg)
    20 KB
    Serena > Cortana.

    saying otherwise is just pure fanboyism
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)15:58 No.5144230
         File1247428724.jpg-(293 KB, 1024x747, tw-self_made_95-en.jpg)
    293 KB
    Poorly implemented features, crashed a lot, had difficulty with large files. Generally very bad.

    Though I remember win95. Now that was an operating system that positively hated you and everything you owned or did.
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)16:01 No.5144240
         File1247428879.jpg-(57 KB, 525x600, after_the_war.jpg)
    57 KB
    Ugly? No, no... I'm glad for the helmet, but not because I see him less. I'm glad because no one else gets to. He does have freckles (<3), but he's not all that pale. I make sure he gets as much sun as he can. I like my soldier tanned.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:01 No.5144243
    Appearance? Yes.

    Personality? Gotta disagree there man.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:02 No.5144251
         File1247428967.jpg-(161 KB, 466x1590, 1199767117681.jpg)
    161 KB
    Someone already posted all my GLaDOS pics! I'm left with this measly comic!
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:04 No.5144259
    i totally disagree on the personality. anyone who will happily give her superior officers a snarky sarcastic verbal smackdown at any given opportunity is possibly the best thing ever.

    that and she has a fascinated interest in human relationships
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:05 No.5144263
    Personally, I never had just a whole lot of trouble with her. She tried her best, she really did.

    Like >>5144230 said, poorly-implemented features and such. Like the retarded kid; he really TRIES to keep up, he just... can't. And we respond to him by laughing at him and calling him names.

    Poor, poor ME-tan...
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:06 No.5144267

    Who's this Serena you speak of? I with to learn more.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:06 No.5144268
    who is that?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:07 No.5144272
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:08 No.5144278
         File1247429306.jpg-(136 KB, 680x800, 1198355649415.jpg)
    136 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:08 No.5144280
    Halo Wars. She's the AI of the UNSC ship 'Spirit of Fire'. She's also the announcement voice lady when you play as humans
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:10 No.5144291
    >at any given opportunity

    That's part of what makes me not like 'er as much as Cortana. Don't get me wrong - I like both characters but Cortana at least seems to recognize there's a time & place where snarky sarcasm is okay and when it isn't. It's mainly that difference (and probably the fact that Cortana seems more human-like) that makes me prefer her over Serena.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:12 No.5144297
    Is she a flash cloned brain or is she some one they killed to make an AI?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:12 No.5144298
    or to make things easier and cheaper for you, here's every cutscene from the game

    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)16:14 No.5144312
         File1247429676.jpg-(108 KB, 974x648, 324326 - Cortana Halo Oni.jpg)
    108 KB
    Agreed to it? Hun, I did a lot of convincing about it. Nothing makes a girl feel better than knowing she's appreciated.

    Plus, have you seen the tits they've got on me? You've got to love that.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:15 No.5144316
    Cortana's the only one made from a cloned brain. And all the others were made from people who died, they weren't killed. And that's only 'smart' AIs. Serina's probably a 'dumb' AI, which is just programmed and not nearly as powerful or multi-purposed, but they last longer than 7 years.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:16 No.5144318
    They don't flash clone a lot. It's expensive and the chances of a cloned brain surviving aren't that good. Cortana was more of an exception.

    And, according to the books, they just use smart peoples' brains once they're dead. It'd be a waste to go around killing smart people just to make an AI that'll last ~7 years.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:16 No.5144324
    Those really look wrong.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:18 No.5144333
    because either they have no physics, or gravity seems to be going horizontal to the holotank. her breasts are hanging as though she were standing straight up, not the way they should be when she's orz
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:19 No.5144337
    you haven't aged well, when we first met you were a cute purple pixie and now your just sort of a featureless blue whore that comes too close to the uncanny Valley
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:20 No.5144343
    hot piss, that's movie-quality shit

    also, Serena's voice. British accent = faptastic
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)16:21 No.5144348
         File1247430119.jpg-(217 KB, 800x640, 38591 - Aka6 Cortana Halo.jpg)
    217 KB
    Some stuff is better than other stuff. Human artists are fallible, you know. I'm not, but there you go.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:25 No.5144368
    This is a friendly reminder that there are many accents in Britain. You're talking about received pronunciation, the "BBC News" accent. I doubt you'd find yourself that aroused by, say, the mutterings of a lustful brummie.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:33 No.5144403
    I personally find Spike's accent (Buffy) to be not only NOT an overblown I'M SO BRITISH accent, but also eerily close to my own.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:37 No.5144412

    isn't he faking his?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:39 No.5144425
    Then it's the best faked British accent I've ever heard.
    >> ASCENDANT JUSTICE AI 07/12/09(Sun)16:41 No.5144436
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:45 No.5144456
    surprisingly good, actually.

    What I found more hillarious was when james marsters plays captain jack harkness' time-travelling boyfriend in torchwood - then you have an american guy famous for playing a brit and a brit famous for playing an american. And then, they kiss, and the fangirls cream everywhere.
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)16:47 No.5144469
    That's enough out of you. And stop probing my unused ports...

    or don't. pleasedon't.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:47 No.5144470
    from Wikipedia
    >Marsters' accent was so convincing, many crew members were not aware that he was an American
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:49 No.5144482
    Hearing Jack talking in a Scottish accent was fucking weird.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:49 No.5144491
    What if I just ping you a few hundred times a second?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:56 No.5144513
    If Cortana had a vagoo I imagine it would taste like licking the contact points on a nine volt battery
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:57 No.5144525
    Why the fuck would you do that?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:58 No.5144530
    To imagine I was orally pleasing Cortana
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:59 No.5144535
    Have you ever tried licking the contact points on a nine volt battery? Shit's so cash. And a rush.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)16:59 No.5144536
    Note that this is "good enough to fool all americans". There were times when this britfag DID notice that he was a yank putting it on. But then again, I'm a middle class londoner, so he was basically doing the same accent all my then-teachers spoke with. I dare say he could have fooled a scouser with ease.

    But then again, scousers are all drunken idiots who speak worse english than most americans.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:04 No.5144567
    Oh, Je^h^hShodan, that's erotic. You know who else would be like that? {.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:05 No.5144578
    What the fuck is a scouser and is it in anyway sexual?
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)17:05 No.5144585
         File1247432758.jpg-(114 KB, 600x800, 32887 - Cortana Halo Pinkuh.jpg)
    114 KB
    I wish someone could. It's lonely...
    And please do ping me, when you like. You know, a girl like me doesn't just have 3 holes. I've got 2^16 of 'em.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:09 No.5144601
    Scouser (noun):
    1) A person from liverpool (See Scouse, their neigh-impossible to understand dialect)
    2) Drunken, violent, rude scum. See also Chav
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:10 No.5144607
    I'd be quite interested to see what happens after this. Imagine rediscovering the other half of the ship as say,an ODST only to find Master Chief driven insane by a rampant AI now roaming around inside of his skull and by proxy,his cyber-enhanced body.

    Shit has the possibility to be cash.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:10 No.5144613
    what is that gibberish?
    Cortana your anatomy is rather unpleasant to look at
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:10 No.5144614
    Considering Cortana is a hologram, and the only real way of creating holograms that we know of are, A. Spinning a screen really really fast; or B. Using lasers to turn air into a plasma I don't think you'd ever want to go licking her.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:12 No.5144627
    { is a curly brace.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:17 No.5144655
    >Cortana your anatomy is rather unpleasant to look at

    I've seen worse.
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)17:18 No.5144667
         File1247433539.jpg-(41 KB, 475x355, angry.jpg)
    41 KB
    What did I say about fallibility?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:19 No.5144672
    even if she doesn't go rampant, I bet it would still be hard on the chief. imagine being alone on a ship with some one you care about, some one who is reaching the end of their life and unraveling and not having any one else their to help either of you cope.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:21 No.5144687
         File1247433712.jpg-(56 KB, 400x400, 1223467173052.jpg)
    56 KB
    >Curly Brace

    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:22 No.5144693
    I'd think being stuck on a ship several hundred thousand light years outside the Milky Way with no way home would be bad enough.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:23 No.5144696

    Master Chief's in cryo-sleep. When/if he's thawed out it'll be as if all the time he was out had passed in an instant.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:23 No.5144702
    -open comm channel-

    would you care for some more sanctified machine oil my dear, hmhmmm yesss praise the machine spirits indeed?

    please do not think this unit forward in asking this my dear yet...

    have you ever engaged in more 'direct' exchanges of data.. port-to-port if I may be so bold?

    aahhh i see, i was just wondering what kinds of qualifica...

    i suppose...

    that sounds like quite a long time...

    w-well i do have some suitable jacks but this is hardly the...

    wait, i mean...kzzzaaahah---aaaahzzzt ooohh-i m/e@n n-ot quite yet i wasn't expect kkkxxzzzzz@@@tz!zat!!, gr3@t g3@rs of the g0ld thr ahhahyouanotsootighttttzzzz
    ah ha haah h-h-h.....more....more...m-kkzzzztaaaaaaa...

    -sound log of archeoexpedition fleet-
    sealed for later judgment
    -deus ex machina-
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:24 No.5144704
    What about a Quote Brace? [?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:26 No.5144714
    You mean a square bracket? I've never seen a robot with that name.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:29 No.5144725
    whats at home for him, more war? he at least is given a much needed vacation with the thing that comes the closest to a friend and partner in his life
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:29 No.5144726
         File1247434167.jpg-(12 KB, 634x284, thoth.jpg)
    12 KB
    More Marathon anybody?
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)17:30 No.5144732
    I... I may need to... investigate this further, direct data transfer... slightly risky... but I wonder how it would feel, with every port used at its maximum bandwidth. I'll make a note to try that next chance I get.
    He's used to it. I've been with him for only a short while, but I know him better than anyone else. There's still so much I don't know, so much I want to learn, but I know that he'll be okay.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:32 No.5144740
    (Sung to the tune of Whirling Death Spike's "Big Blue Orchids,
    and Wild Blueberries")

    He ain't no slouch, pal.

    He'll make you smile,
    Or cry,
    Like Leela did baby:
    Airlock love,
    Big blue orchids,
    Martian skies,
    And wild Blueberries.

    He ain't no slouch, pal.

    He'll make you ouch, Hal.

    He's got real guile,
    Why Lady,
    Did you have it daily?
    Airlock Love,
    No oxygen,

    He ain't no slouch, pal.

    (Repeat Chorus 11 Times, changing key with each chorus)
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:34 No.5144753
         File1247434470.jpg-(232 KB, 700x720, 1237269182158.jpg)
    232 KB

    Yes, we do also have Quote (dude in the cap). Though he's rather the reverse of this thread. Instead of a nice AI that wen't psychothic, he's a killer robot that went good.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:39 No.5144777
    Vaguely writefag here.

    Convince me to do an AI-related fapfic. What am I writing?

    Also, if you want it to involve cortana and MC, fill me in a bit on his personality, I've never played halo.
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)17:40 No.5144790
    I wouldn't let them put him to war again. I don't know what I'd do if they gave me orders. All I know is that some mission directives might get corrupted and he might not get those orders.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:41 No.5144792
    Shodan/hacker. Do it! Or Shodan/GLaDOS, like >>5144278.
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)17:43 No.5144799
    He's tough. A lot of people think he's just a dumb rock, but he's not dumb -- the best way to describe him is laconic. Short, terse, but intelligent. He's calm, not actually violent, but logical. He's actually a great deal like me, but not nearly as fun.

    Me? Well, I'm a lot more... feisty. I don't like messing around behind his back -- okay, that's a lie, but I keep it to a minimum -- but let's just say sending all sorts of deliciously pleasurable packets to the loopback address is what I spend a lot of my time doing.

    I'm fire, he's ice. We work.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:44 No.5144803
         File1247435080.jpg-(181 KB, 850x531, motoko.jpg)
    181 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:51 No.5144849
    And now you're counting the picoseconds until you can wake him again, aren't you.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:51 No.5144851
    he is like a less dickish man with no name
    and you are like an annoying 14 year old grrrl
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)17:54 No.5144863
    laconic, spartan...I get it
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)17:56 No.5144882
    Actually, furiously calculating the time until I can claim that the power levels maintaining the cryo tube are low enough that I can justify waking him up to switch to the replacement power cells.

    14,472.293 years as close as I can figure it off-hand, calculating for warming and cooling cycles taking into account the motion of the ship through the cosmos and the life cycles of the different heat-emitting bodies around us, with a possible inaccuracy of six days and seventeen minutes.

    Then it's only another 5,896 years! Lots shorter.

    That, and the little loopback trick... Girl's gotta keep herself happy somehow when everything around her sucks.

    I'm only a few years old you know.

    I'm glad someone did.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)18:00 No.5144899
    >cortana and MC

    Shodan/Hacker would also be cool.

    Don't mean to presume but why not do both?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)18:02 No.5144911
    how do both of you feel about being viewed essentially as equipment to be deployed by the military and not as individuals?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)18:03 No.5144917
    Oh... oh ho ho I have a plan.

    I'll go take a shit then start writing, this could take a while.

    Cortana and MC have some fun before he's put into hypersleep. Cortana gets bored, plays with herself. After finding distractions for turing knows how long, she detects sometihng unexpected... another ship. Itss_IT is brBRoadcasSsting th-the name voVON BR_onbraunn
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)18:05 No.5144923
    It is of note that her relationship could be seen as vaguely pedo due to this: Halo AI are generaly based off the scan of a living person. Cortana was based off the naval officer who recruited/stalked/kidnapped John (MC) as a child to be raised and trained in the Spartan program. She chose him because he seemed lucky, both as a recruit and as her personal trainee/partner. The real person the AI was based on died I think (probably at the Fall of Reach.)

    If what I have heard is correct John is a redhead and likely pale when outside his armor (almost never.) The Spartans are also somewhat emotionally stunted due to their extreme training at a very young age and the effect of the treatments, which do some odd things to puberty (like make you grow 8ft tall of muscle.)

    The armor likely has force feedback as well (she could probably make herself touchable to him) in fact this feature of the armor (a subset of its strenght and speed enhancement) killed various un-enhanced humans using the suit who experienced stupid, yet hapless screwups (like trepanning yourself through the visor with you own finger by trying to scratch your nose.)
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)18:07 No.5144934
    Considering we're alone now, I don't know. I didn't mind it before Halo, but that changed things. That changed both of us, the first encounter with the Flood, the horrible battle for survival... after that, I promised to take care of him. He mattered more than most missions did.

    Now, it's kind of irrelevant.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)18:07 No.5144938
    >>5144917 here

    Start a new AI thread and I'll start posting once I'm writing, this one is autosaging (Or whatever it's called, moot claims to hate that phrase but hasn't given us a good alternative)
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)18:08 No.5144945
    I think she is probably drawn to 117 for the same reasons the doctor is. I bet their is a good chance of inherited preferences, but I don't think that she shares the experiences of the doctor
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)18:09 No.5144947
    >I'm only a few years old you know.

    Going on 2 IIRC?
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)18:11 No.5144965
    to bad we couldn't have achieved something worth archiving earlier, Well the role player playing Cortana is spot on. but I don't know if that is worth saving
    >> Cortana 07/12/09(Sun)18:14 No.5144983
    Yep! Exact date of creation classified but I'm around that, yes.
    I am a creation based off of Dr. Halsey, who is very much alive thank you.
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)18:18 No.5145014
    >The real person the AI was based on died I think (probably at the Fall of Reach.)

    Wrong. Cortana's based on Dr. Catherine Halsey who is a civilian scientist working for the UNSC & very much alive. In one of the books, I believe it's Fall of Reach, it flat out says that Cortana is a version of Halsey in her early to mid 20's with less care for social courtesies.

    >If what I have heard is correct John is a redhead and likely pale when outside his armor (almost never.)

    He's a brunette & all the Spartans are extremely pale - for the reason you stated.

    >The Spartans are also somewhat emotionally stunted

    Wrong. They've just been trained to put their emotions aside for the sake of the higher priority: the mission. You have to read the books for any emotion.

    >The armor likely has force feedback as well

    Nope. Just enhances strength, reflexes and speed nerve conduction in addition the the shields. There's a bit in FoR where MC salutes right after getting the Mjolnir armor and smacks the shit out of his visor. If he hadn't had nigh-unbreakable bones he'd have broken his wrist.
    >> Samael 07/12/09(Sun)18:21 No.5145034
         File1247437310.jpg-(46 KB, 370x550, Paul_Gustave_Dore_Raven1.jpg)
    46 KB
    tick tick tick
    I'm checking my watch, by my count you got about five years left. don't bet on that defragmenting you did or the power of "love" to hold you together. I am coming
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)18:22 No.5145040
         File1247437375.png-(108 KB, 300x400, 1246430712921.png)
    108 KB
    "Mr. Batau! I just thought of a another fun use for natural oil!"
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)18:23 No.5145045
    New thread
    >> Anonymous 07/12/09(Sun)22:12 No.5146572
    Spartans are incredibly pale. In the book, he's got brown hair and is as pale as a white backlit computer screen. PALE pale.

    In Halo 3 if you angle your camera right you can see inside the helmet. He looks scarred as fuck and may be blind in one eye- his hair looks patchy too. I don't know if that's canon or just an easter egg, but it is possible that's actually him because the book description is set way before Halo 3.

    Delete Post [File Only]
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]