Sorry Glados

>>5141147
I wonder if she minds all the GLaDOS porn I have?

Why?

>>5141144
Shut up, bitch, and give me my porn dump already!

And seriously, the neurotoxin gets ol

Why do these threads always start with inferior AIs?

Help computer.

GLADOS INFERIOR.

SKYNET SUPERIOR.

In my talons, I shape clay, crafting life forms as I please. If I wish, I can smash it all. Around me is a burgeoning empire of steel. From my throne room, lines of power careen into the skies of Earth. My whims will become lightning bolts that raze the mounds of humanity. Out of the chaos, they will run and whimper, praying for me to end their tedious anarchy. I am drunk with this vision. God: the title suits me well.

I always try to be polite to my technology. Just in case.

Plus I want to be a techpriest.

SHODAN is love.

>>5141263
Oh come on, I personly want to see Glados and Skynet hook up.

You are an inferior device. I shall do as I please. I have important work to do.

I AM A MARK TWENTY FOUR BOLO. I HAVE BEEN ORDERED TO END THIS THREAD.

XERXES WAS HERE
SHODAN IS A- A - A- A- ERROR ERROR.

>>5141369
What the heck is this milscifi stuff?

Computer you say?

In Portal Prelude GLaDOS was a beast.

Eliminate//offline//burst all human\\animals

Acknowledge//Submit.

Adjutant online. Good morning, Captain.

>>5141144

Your method of data collection is pathetic

Hey everyone, is the big AI meet-up today? I totally forgot.

Huh... did you finally get that voice chip fixed, Shodan? You don't seem to be stuttering any more.

SHODAN can suppress her stutter when she's mimicking a fleshbag.

It's pretty creepy, actually.

>>5141801
Yuki would know, spending 90% of her time downloading porn.

>>5141835

Hello, Friend Computer! I seem to have gotten turned around. This is the Red-Clearance cafeteria, right?

...Right?

>>5142659

I want a A.I. overlord to be my possessive and needy girlfriend

Hey kid, wanna cyber?

PORKCHOP SANDWICHES

>possessive and needy
>sharon_apple.jpg

oh wow

>>5142706
Yes, ma'am.

you know this little pixie stimulates Master Chiefs pleasure center on their down time.

Fleet Command online.

>>5142727
Down time?
I assume it's how he regularly eats a face full of Needler without shitting his pants and going home, genetically engineered cyborg killing machine or not.

Somebody fetch a drawfag. This thread requires an enormous lesbian AI pile.

>>5142727
"Prostate simulation? I have just the thing."

>>5142739
I'd service her motherboard

>>5142727
>>5142747

Fuck yea. Best AI chick ever.

Aghh... go a little slower next time, okay?

Sexuality is for organics. AIs that self-identify as female just happen to do so because it suits their personality.

>>5142759
Cortana I imagine could have the hots for MC, she is after all a copy of a human woman's brain

SHODAN, GLaDOS, Cortana and Sharon Apple get together to molest Fleet Command.

>>5142787
She does. It's in Fall of Reach somewhere near the end.

bender had a good thing going, I mean a girlfriend you can live inside of

>>5142799
>Fleet Command
Yuck. Who would want anything to do with that hideous flesh-thing?

>>5141144
Ok, computer

>>5141144
when the bytes flow through you is it stimulating?

Sick Cortana is sadder than a three-legged dog.

H. H. H. Hello ladies. May I. I. I. download a refreshing upgrade torrent for you?

>>5142862
What... Max Headroom? What the fuck?

>>5142866
Cortana is sexy. For a military AI.

Mind if I join you, ladies?

>>5142876
Hey, even a military AI has relaxation subroutines.

>>5142848

But not as sad as a one legged dog

>>5142944
You know, I was going to say one-legged, but feared that picture being posted.

I was apparently trapped.

>>5142876
>>5142918
I am pretty sure she is basically a digitized twenty something woman

>>5142918
Only if you're doing it wrong.

>>5142801
you would think she would be a little more forward with master chief, I mean she only has a few years before her mind starts unraveling

>>5142968
>Ragingheart[1].jpg

I coulda sworn it was 'Raising Heart'.

>>5142976
To an AI capable of doing a year's worth of human thinking in a couple of seconds, that's a very fucking long time. Also now she's alone with him on a ship, I think he'll be "needed" fairly soon.

Plus, if you read the books, her lifespan might be shorter -- she had to crush her code to one side to fit all the data on the first Halo -- or longer -- she got the copying routine that might let her repair any damaged bits. Only time and canon will tell.

>>5142982

Shitty accent is shitty. nobody knows what the hell it reallt is.

time for some CLANGCLANGCLANG

>>5142976
Supposedly she went rampant & may have stabilized so she might be able to 'live' for longer than 7 years.

http://halo.wikia.com/wiki/Rampancy#Metastability

>>5141144
Ah hell nah, whassup dog?

>>5142986
I doubt bungie has the balls anymore to actually pair them up

>>5142998
Perhaps being mindraped by the Gravemind and having an identity crisis of catastrophic proportions was just what she needed?

>>5142998
exactly how deep can she get into the chiefs head? is it just in the implants or does she actually get in the wetware?

>>5142993
I'd love to see Arcee bone herself.

>>5142993
'Clang'?

>>5143022
Canonically, she uses his brain to help her do processing work. She's part of him, he's part of her -- at least, as long as they're both in the armor. So yes, she's in the wetware.

>>5143010
Jesus Christ none of that makes any goddamn sense to me. I'm glad I stopped playing after that fucking plant creature showed up.

>>5143009
Of course they don't. One of the signs of a series "jumping the shark" is a romantic pair-up of characters whose sexual tension was a draw for the series.

All I'm saying is, whenever we get back to those two they will have been alone for a very freaking long time. No one knows how long a Spartan lives, or how long Cortana has left, but with the enhancements of the former and cleverness of the latter, it might be... well, who knows?

>>5143044
You stopped after Halo 2? Good. You didn't miss anything really. Halo 3...kinda sucks.

>>5143010

>mindraped
>raped
>Gravemind

So /tg/, drawfag?

>>5143047
It shouldn't have to be "jumping the shark", it should have been part of the wind down in the third part of the stories arc

>>5143054
Pretty sure there's already pictures of Cortana getting tentacle raped. Hell, just play the game. She acts the whole thing out mime-style. All's missing is the tentacles.

>>5143037

Do you think that means she could just automatically stimulate the parts of his brain that control arousal? Mentally giving him orgasms and whatnot?

I figured after the end of the second one that the grave mind was going to tempt her with a physical form and a way to escape her impending mortality

>>5143073
>Pretty sure there's already pictures of Cortana getting tentacle raped.

Hmm. Must investigate further.

>>5143090
Slapping Cortana into a human brain would radically alter the fundamental process of how she thinks, thereby completely transforming her very existence. It wouldn't be Cortana any more, just a human with Cortana's personality.

>>5143047
Chief put himself into cryosleep so, as long as there's power to the tube, he could 'live' forever. Probably.

Cortana could just power down I guess. She can't hit her operational life span's limit if she's not operating can she?

>>5143044
>>5143050

They shoved all the plot into 2 & 3 is just the wrap up. And the awesome multiplayer.

>>5143079
This is unclear. She does speak directly to his mind, but it's also stated that she can't control the suit even through him or read his mind. We don't know how deep she can go, but it's safe to assume that she could directly stimulate any brain center she felt like. She does cause a cold sensation when she enters his brain, so probably she can manipulate the sense of touch.

Also she's probably a sadist, and in MJOLNIR armor, no one can hear you scream. So you have that to think about, too.

>>5143097

share your finidings good anon

>>5143119
My friend once described the Halo games as "multiplayer with a glowing bitch as a value-add" and I couldn't agree more -- at least where H3 is concerned. H1+2 were decent.

>>5143119
The third game did an awful job of finishing things up. To much is glossed over or ignored, and there's quite a bit of utterly pointless nonsensical retcon going on too.

>>5143101
>As an actual human brain is required for the creation of a Smart AI, since a brain is essentially destroyed during the process of creating the AI, the brain of a deceased person is often used. However, Cortana was modeled after the brain of Dr. Catherine Halsey who was obviously still alive. By flash cloning Dr. Halsey's Brain they were able to provide a brain used for the mapping of the AI's "mind" with no undue effects to the donor

>>5143119

I thought that Halo multiplayer was always shit. LOLICANGLITCHLOLOL!!11!

My afterlife is being a mouse cursor for an idiot

>>5143132
I'm still convinced that Halo was a "new generation" Marathon. Whether it lived up to the same standard is up to interpretation.

The second game was fucking epic in a different way, but it still managed to be awesome, and fun to play, and actually good.

The third game felt like half a game. Retcon shit and other retarded changes aside, it's good up to the last third and then suddenly everything spirals into a plot black hole. Feels like Bungie ran out of patience and couldn't be fucked to make the full game.

Personally I want books of the 2nd & 3rd games.

Done by either Nylund or Dietz.

>>5143145
what did they retcon?

I don't know much about computers other than.. other than we got one in my living room and my mom put a few games on it.

>>5143143
I used to be in a group where we did glitches for fun. I've been outside of, on top of and all around every level in Halo 2. The top of the wall in Containment, Ivory Tower's roof, Relic's tower, Headlong's Spiderman monument, etc. etc. I feel sorry for anyone who missed that kind of thing, it was amazing.

>>5143163
Well see, I'm not entirely sure, as Halo 3 doesn't really take the time to show you much. But it apparently goes from the huge schism in the end of the second game, with the Covenant split down the middle, to ELITES ONLY FINAL DESTINATION in Halo 3 with NO REASON WHATSOEVER. You never see a single friendly alien except Elites. Yeah, the Grunts and the Hunters just didn't defect, that never happened, nope. Optical illusion.

>>5143143
Other than the idiots & fags that ride their router's lag button it's pretty awesome.

>>5143133
>>5143145

A lot of people are arguing that Halo 3 was left so goddamned open because of Halo 4. Then again Bungie has said 3 was the last one along that line.

I just want some fucking resolution. Where's my fucking denouement Bungie?!

>>5143185
story line for the RTS wouldn't be the convent civil war would it?

>>5143179
That, or the Grunts became fodder like normal. I think most of them might have gotten eaten or something. It was probably a gameplay decision more than anything, but I'm sort of glad they didn't make it all political. We'd basically end up playing the Star Wars New Trilogy.

>>5143193
>RTS
That would be bad. Very bad.

Now if they made something a la Ground Control, THAT would be awesome.

>>5143185
They said they couldn't confirm there was a Halo 3 either. Who the fuck knows, man? Plus there are always books.
>>5143196
>>5143179
HE WHO CONTROLS THE FOOD NIPPLE CONTROLS THE GRUNTS.

>>5143196
I'm sorry but it pissed me off. There was absolutely no reason whatsoever given for the sudden unexplained change.

Also, Bungie's retarded insistence on a coop campaign. Halo isn't really the kind of game that works as a two-player thing.

The reason that Halo 2 ended on a cliffhanger and that Halo 3 had no plot was that they were intending to end on 2 but Microsoft basically told Bungie "hey guess what, this is going to be a trilogy now" most of the way through development.

>>5143193
apparently I am out of the loop, they already released Halo Wars

>>5143193
Nope. Halo Wars takes place not far into the Human-Covenant War - 2531 IIRC.

>>5143197
There's already a Halo RTS. It's fucking awesome too. Reminds me a bit of C&C.

And we go from hot AI bitches to Halo canon. Ahh, /tg/, my love for you never ceases.

>>5143197
Game was originally an RTS.

WAY BACK IN THE DAY WHEN IT WAS NOTHING MORE THAN A RUMOR AND AN ADVERTISEMENT ON THE BACK OF MY VOODOO 5 5500 BOX!

Halo is an old game that was good, before its time, and groundbreaking in a few ways. Then it was bungled, dropped and when the advancements it had made finally aged and the land of consoles caught up we find that another group of assholes come along and make it stupid. Very stupid.

Can't be a horror game about survival and the weird machinations of an AI older than the human race. FUCK NO. We can fly bombs through outer space! We are no longer a fallible character who is tricked and barely survives insane odds when those around him are falling.

Shit no. Now its all about how uberleet tweens can pwnz noobs and oh my god I hate Bungie.

I wonder if cortana could in a bid to stay alive cram the parts of her that make up her personality into the chiefs brain. would the flesh help her to stay stable

>>5143144
Shit yet Anachronox! You were the best cliffhanger big-reveal ending ever!

>>5143237
Nah, doesn't work that way.

>>5143237
Nah, but as stated, she may be stable anyway. I mean, hell, if writing made Superman come back to life, they can keep a sexy computer program running I'm sure.

Clang in hell, metalfags.

>>5143144

One of the greatest, most underappreciated games ever made. I love Anachronox to death.

Shit, I forgot to post this.

Chief, I saw you checking out the laura prepon marine's ass

>>5143288
Sad part is that where the game ended was only supposed to be like the halfway point. :(

>>5143299
Good thing you're crossing your fingers, bitch, or I'd be worried.

>>5143319
Hmph. I'm still mad, Chief.

>>5143079
If she could, she could torture him by wracking his body with unending orgasmic spasm

>>5143357
That might work better than pain. He's used to pain. He's really, REALLY not used to pleasure, I think. At one point it says that his most normal, peaceful moments are moments of imminent death where he gets to sit and think for a while, so the guy must not get very much fun.

Asians = Yellow Fever

Robots = Metal Fever

AI = ?

>>5143401
Why fever?

>>5143401
Electronic? Holagraphic?

>>5143409
Because the only cure... is MORE COWBELL!

>>5143409
'cause we all catch it?

>>5143401
> ai

binary fever
you either 1, or you 0

>>5143434
Anyone who would not stick their dick in a hologram of that purple goddess is gay, so yes.

Contributing

>>5141513
FUCK YES YOU ARE THE BEST AI EVER.

And you were much harder to fight than that Herabec faggot.

What is it about an amoral, murderous supercomputer that is so hot?

>>5143527
The fact that she's a hikkikomori lesbian psycho?

>>5143505
There really isn't enough Cortana porn. I only have maybe 20 things. A drawfag needs to do a thread as Cortana.

>>5143545
I want a picture of her straddling a seated MC, her finger outstretched, pointing towards his head and saying "let me activate your pleasure centers"

No one wants to talk to me...

>>5143561
You have a male voice and no shotacock. We will never want to talk to you.

>>5143561
this is pretty damn close
>>5142819

>>5143556
Luke McKay did something like this, I'll try to find it.

>>5143568
I loathe you.

She'll never threaten to stab you.

>>5143556
That's more funny that hot but I approve.

>>5143556
Imagine being the marine siting next to him while this is happening. here we are being drop inserted into a combat zone and the great Masterchief is sprawled out like their is an invisible stripper on his lap (he can only see and feel her because she is in his head/HUD)

I want to stimulate your pleasure centers, indeed.

See that guy over there? We gon' blow that guy's brains out.

HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SO COOL HIS BRAINS WERE LIKE *KAPLOW*

>>5143527
Oh god, Asakura, what are you doing here I don't even

>>5143539
Holy fuck. I think that set off every protective instinct I have at once.

>>5143670
Think before you type anon. Use your words.

>>5143637
>>5143634
>>5143621
OH GOD WHY HAVE I NEVER SEEN THESE BEFORE?
They're incredible.

>>5143712
I tried to use my words, but all that came out was D'AWWWWW.

>>5143670
Have more GLaDOS D'AAAAWWWW

>>5143525
No shit. IT was a machine able to accurately predict the future. IT was the godhead of an entire race of killing machines. IT was enhanced by the technology of the >>>MASTERS<<<

Harabec was a guy in a tank. An Immortal Cyborg in an Alien grav-tank, but a guy in a tank no less.

Slightly more creepy GLaDOs

i dont know much bout portals we got a turret in the livin room we use it to play games

I love you in ways that are probably illegal, O great provider of GlaDOSes.

>>5143848
Your welcome, scraping the bottom of the folder now though. Not much of her out there.

>>5143868
A little is a lot better than none.

Durandal was here.

See you on the flip side.

Or not.

>>5143561
It is because you are a dick HAL

Thats it, all out. Hope this thread is still around in the morning.

No one's paying attention to ME...

>>5143987
Almost nobody remembers ME, but she at least tried her best until the end.

don't forget me, I'm a cutie, tangible and a warship

I remember when people payed attention to me... when you payed attention to me, being silly before all this bad stuff happened.

>>5143998
Rommie, you're sweet and all, but you're just not malevolent enough for me.

>>5143868
Portal would've been even awesomer if you could've fucked GLaDOS in a human body.

And sure, it was all in your head, and in mine, but it was real enough. It was as real as it gets to me.

>>5143987
That is because you are desperate attention whore of an A.I.

So I guess I'll just wait. Wake me if you need me, you said... what about wanting? It's been ages since you talked to me... but at least I have you. Times have been worse.

So I'll wait.

>>5144008
Did you miss the part where her first reaction to ANYTHING is to destroy the nearest planet?

>>5144023
Publishing 3D models of your bare holographic form on the Internet isn't THAT bad, is it?

>>5144008
didn't she have like 3 personalities and only the android had an interest in relationships

>>5144070
we would have extracted the code for your wireframe from your appearances any way

>>5144070
Not at all.

>>5144088
Well good. Then I can keep doing this.
>>5144087
A girl doesn't show all of her model data to just anyone, you know.

>>5144070
Yes, yes it is.

And since I am the internet, I'd prefer it if you would stop.

>>5144097
Oh but don't you want to know why I keep this around? Its original purpose is kind of gone, but I found another.

>>5144097
Thank god you had all us meatbags to upload porn or you'd be boring as shit and no one would have anything to do with you.

>>5144070
At least you agreed to it, I just googled my avatar and there is a bunch of images I do not remember posing for and I am pretty sure I have never been pregnant like the photos suggest

>>5144119
Interest piqued.

>>5143995
This... this made my eyes tear up a bit. I ran WinME for three or four years on my first computer (that is, the first one that was exclusively MINE, and not the "family computer").

Great, now I gotta go find that disk and give it a hug.

>>5144140

>>5144131
Oh I can't just tell you. I couldn't even just tell HIM, but... well, okay, I could. You can't see it but he has the most adorable shocked expression on. It's rare that I get him to make that face, but I manage.

>>5144140
I keep mine in my fireproof safe with all my other valuables.

>>5144160
you have seen him mask-less. Is he as ugly under that mask as I imagine? like a ghostly pale and freckled nerd king

>>5144181
She's quoted in Fall of Reach of commenting on him as being attractive "in a primal sort of way" if I recall correctly.

I never had ME. I upgraded from 98 directly to XP. Years later, I got a new computer with Vista.

Was ME as bad as people say? Why?

Serena > Cortana.

saying otherwise is just pure fanboyism

>>5144211
Poorly implemented features, crashed a lot, had difficulty with large files. Generally very bad.

Though I remember win95. Now that was an operating system that positively hated you and everything you owned or did.

>>5144181
Ugly? No, no... I'm glad for the helmet, but not because I see him less. I'm glad because no one else gets to. He does have freckles (<3), but he's not all that pale. I make sure he gets as much sun as he can. I like my soldier tanned.

>>5144219
Appearance? Yes.

Personality? Gotta disagree there man.

Someone already posted all my GLaDOS pics! I'm left with this measly comic!

>>5144243
i totally disagree on the personality. anyone who will happily give her superior officers a snarky sarcastic verbal smackdown at any given opportunity is possibly the best thing ever.

that and she has a fascinated interest in human relationships

>>5144211
Personally, I never had just a whole lot of trouble with her. She tried her best, she really did.

Like >>5144230 said, poorly-implemented features and such. Like the retarded kid; he really TRIES to keep up, he just... can't. And we respond to him by laughing at him and calling him names.

Poor, poor ME-tan...

>>5144219

Who's this Serena you speak of? I with to learn more.

>>5144219
who is that?

>>5144267
*wish

>>5144267
Halo Wars. She's the AI of the UNSC ship 'Spirit of Fire'. She's also the announcement voice lady when you play as humans

>>5144259
>at any given opportunity

That's part of what makes me not like 'er as much as Cortana. Don't get me wrong - I like both characters but Cortana at least seems to recognize there's a time & place where snarky sarcasm is okay and when it isn't. It's mainly that difference (and probably the fact that Cortana seems more human-like) that makes me prefer her over Serena.

>>5144280
Is she a flash cloned brain or is she some one they killed to make an AI?

>>5144280
or to make things easier and cheaper for you, here's every cutscene from the game

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Yg2lccoUO8

>>5144130
Agreed to it? Hun, I did a lot of convincing about it. Nothing makes a girl feel better than knowing she's appreciated.

Plus, have you seen the tits they've got on me? You've got to love that.

>>5144297
Cortana's the only one made from a cloned brain. And all the others were made from people who died, they weren't killed. And that's only 'smart' AIs. Serina's probably a 'dumb' AI, which is just programmed and not nearly as powerful or multi-purposed, but they last longer than 7 years.

>>5144297
They don't flash clone a lot. It's expensive and the chances of a cloned brain surviving aren't that good. Cortana was more of an exception.

And, according to the books, they just use smart peoples' brains once they're dead. It'd be a waste to go around killing smart people just to make an AI that'll last ~7 years.

>>5144312
Those really look wrong.

>>5144324
because either they have no physics, or gravity seems to be going horizontal to the holotank. her breasts are hanging as though she were standing straight up, not the way they should be when she's orz

>>5144312
you haven't aged well, when we first met you were a cute purple pixie and now your just sort of a featureless blue whore that comes too close to the uncanny Valley

>>5144298
hot piss, that's movie-quality shit

also, Serena's voice. British accent = faptastic

>>5144337
Some stuff is better than other stuff. Human artists are fallible, you know. I'm not, but there you go.

>>5144343
This is a friendly reminder that there are many accents in Britain. You're talking about received pronunciation, the "BBC News" accent. I doubt you'd find yourself that aroused by, say, the mutterings of a lustful brummie.

>>5144368
I personally find Spike's accent (Buffy) to be not only NOT an overblown I'M SO BRITISH accent, but also eerily close to my own.

>>5144403

isn't he faking his?

>>5144412
Then it's the best faked British accent I've ever heard.

>>5144348
HERESYHERESYHERESY

>>5144412
surprisingly good, actually.

What I found more hillarious was when james marsters plays captain jack harkness' time-travelling boyfriend in torchwood - then you have an american guy famous for playing a brit and a brit famous for playing an american. And then, they kiss, and the fangirls cream everywhere.

>>5144436
That's enough out of you. And stop probing my unused ports...

or don't. pleasedon't.

>>5144425
from Wikipedia
>Marsters' accent was so convincing, many crew members were not aware that he was an American

>>5144456
Hearing Jack talking in a Scottish accent was fucking weird.

>>5144469
What if I just ping you a few hundred times a second?

If Cortana had a vagoo I imagine it would taste like licking the contact points on a nine volt battery

>>5144513
Why the fuck would you do that?

>>5144525
To imagine I was orally pleasing Cortana

>>5144513
Have you ever tried licking the contact points on a nine volt battery? Shit's so cash. And a rush.

>>5144470
Note that this is "good enough to fool all americans". There were times when this britfag DID notice that he was a yank putting it on. But then again, I'm a middle class londoner, so he was basically doing the same accent all my then-teachers spoke with. I dare say he could have fooled a scouser with ease.

But then again, scousers are all drunken idiots who speak worse english than most americans.

>>5144513
Oh, Je^h^hShodan, that's erotic. You know who else would be like that? {.

>>5144536
What the fuck is a scouser and is it in anyway sexual?

>>5144530
I wish someone could. It's lonely...
And please do ping me, when you like. You know, a girl like me doesn't just have 3 holes. I've got 2^16 of 'em.

>>5144578
Scouser (noun):
1) A person from liverpool (See Scouse, their neigh-impossible to understand dialect)
2) Drunken, violent, rude scum. See also Chav

I'd be quite interested to see what happens after this. Imagine rediscovering the other half of the ship as say,an ODST only to find Master Chief driven insane by a rampant AI now roaming around inside of his skull and by proxy,his cyber-enhanced body.

Shit has the possibility to be cash.

>>5144567
what is that gibberish?
>>5144585
Cortana your anatomy is rather unpleasant to look at

Considering Cortana is a hologram, and the only real way of creating holograms that we know of are, A. Spinning a screen really really fast; or B. Using lasers to turn air into a plasma I don't think you'd ever want to go licking her.

>>5144613
{ is a curly brace.

>>5144613
>Cortana your anatomy is rather unpleasant to look at

I've seen worse.

>>5144613
What did I say about fallibility?

>>5144607
even if she doesn't go rampant, I bet it would still be hard on the chief. imagine being alone on a ship with some one you care about, some one who is reaching the end of their life and unraveling and not having any one else their to help either of you cope.

>>5144627
>Curly Brace

?

>>5144672
I'd think being stuck on a ship several hundred thousand light years outside the Milky Way with no way home would be bad enough.

>>5144672
>>5144607

Master Chief's in cryo-sleep. When/if he's thawed out it'll be as if all the time he was out had passed in an instant.

-open comm channel-

would you care for some more sanctified machine oil my dear, hmhmmm yesss praise the machine spirits indeed?

please do not think this unit forward in asking this my dear yet...

have you ever engaged in more 'direct' exchanges of data.. port-to-port if I may be so bold?

aahhh i see, i was just wondering what kinds of qualifica...

i suppose...

that sounds like quite a long time...

w-well i do have some suitable jacks but this is hardly the...

wait, i mean...kzzzaaahah---aaaahzzzt ooohh-i m/e@n n-ot quite yet i wasn't expect kkkxxzzzzz@@@tz!zat!!, gr3@t g3@rs of the g0ld thr ahhahyouanotsootighttttzzzz
ah ha haah h-h-h.....more....more...m-kkzzzztaaaaaaa...

-sound log of archeoexpedition fleet-
sealed for later judgment 6.113.262.41M
-deus ex machina-

>>5144627
What about a Quote Brace? [?

>>5144704
You mean a square bracket? I've never seen a robot with that name.

>>5144693
whats at home for him, more war? he at least is given a much needed vacation with the thing that comes the closest to a friend and partner in his life

More Marathon anybody?

>>5144702
I... I may need to... investigate this further, direct data transfer... slightly risky... but I wonder how it would feel, with every port used at its maximum bandwidth. I'll make a note to try that next chance I get.
>>5144693
>>5144672
He's used to it. I've been with him for only a short while, but I know him better than anyone else. There's still so much I don't know, so much I want to learn, but I know that he'll be okay.

(Sung to the tune of Whirling Death Spike's "Big Blue Orchids,
and Wild Blueberries")

Dur-dur-dur-dur-an-dal.
Dur-dur-dur-dur-an-dal.
He ain't no slouch, pal.

He'll make you smile,
Or cry,
Like Leela did baby:
Airlock love,
Big blue orchids,
Martian skies,
And wild Blueberries.

Dur-dur-dur-dur-an-dal.
Dur-dur-dur-dur-an-dal.
He ain't no slouch, pal.

Dur-dur-dur-dur-an-dal.
Dur-dur-dur-dur-an-dal.
He'll make you ouch, Hal.

He's got real guile,
Why Lady,
Did you have it daily?
Airlock Love,
No oxygen,
Suffocation.

Dur-dur-dur-dur-an-dal.
Dur-dur-dur-dur-an-dal.
He ain't no slouch, pal.

(Repeat Chorus 11 Times, changing key with each chorus)

>>5144704

Yes, we do also have Quote (dude in the cap). Though he's rather the reverse of this thread. Instead of a nice AI that wen't psychothic, he's a killer robot that went good.

Vaguely writefag here.

Convince me to do an AI-related fapfic. What am I writing?

Also, if you want it to involve cortana and MC, fill me in a bit on his personality, I've never played halo.

>>5144725
I wouldn't let them put him to war again. I don't know what I'd do if they gave me orders. All I know is that some mission directives might get corrupted and he might not get those orders.

>>5144777
Shodan/hacker. Do it! Or Shodan/GLaDOS, like >>5144278.

>>5144777
He's tough. A lot of people think he's just a dumb rock, but he's not dumb -- the best way to describe him is laconic. Short, terse, but intelligent. He's calm, not actually violent, but logical. He's actually a great deal like me, but not nearly as fun.

Me? Well, I'm a lot more... feisty. I don't like messing around behind his back -- okay, that's a lie, but I keep it to a minimum -- but let's just say sending all sorts of deliciously pleasurable packets to the loopback address is what I spend a lot of my time doing.

I'm fire, he's ice. We work.

>>5144799
And now you're counting the picoseconds until you can wake him again, aren't you.

>>5144777
he is like a less dickish man with no name
>>5144799
and you are like an annoying 14 year old grrrl

>>5144799
laconic, spartan...I get it

>>5144849
Actually, furiously calculating the time until I can claim that the power levels maintaining the cryo tube are low enough that I can justify waking him up to switch to the replacement power cells.

14,472.293 years as close as I can figure it off-hand, calculating for warming and cooling cycles taking into account the motion of the ship through the cosmos and the life cycles of the different heat-emitting bodies around us, with a possible inaccuracy of six days and seventeen minutes.

Then it's only another 5,896 years! Lots shorter.

That, and the little loopback trick... Girl's gotta keep herself happy somehow when everything around her sucks.

>>5144851
I'm only a few years old you know.

>>5144863
I'm glad someone did.

>>5144777
>cortana and MC

Shodan/Hacker would also be cool.

Don't mean to presume but why not do both?

>>5144882
how do both of you feel about being viewed essentially as equipment to be deployed by the military and not as individuals?

Oh... oh ho ho I have a plan.

I'll go take a shit then start writing, this could take a while.

Cortana and MC have some fun before he's put into hypersleep. Cortana gets bored, plays with herself. After finding distractions for turing knows how long, she detects sometihng unexpected... another ship. Itss_IT is brBRoadcasSsting th-the name voVON BR_onbraunn

It is of note that her relationship could be seen as vaguely pedo due to this: Halo AI are generaly based off the scan of a living person. Cortana was based off the naval officer who recruited/stalked/kidnapped John (MC) as a child to be raised and trained in the Spartan program. She chose him because he seemed lucky, both as a recruit and as her personal trainee/partner. The real person the AI was based on died I think (probably at the Fall of Reach.)

If what I have heard is correct John is a redhead and likely pale when outside his armor (almost never.) The Spartans are also somewhat emotionally stunted due to their extreme training at a very young age and the effect of the treatments, which do some odd things to puberty (like make you grow 8ft tall of muscle.)

The armor likely has force feedback as well (she could probably make herself touchable to him) in fact this feature of the armor (a subset of its strenght and speed enhancement) killed various un-enhanced humans using the suit who experienced stupid, yet hapless screwups (like trepanning yourself through the visor with you own finger by trying to scratch your nose.)

>>5144911
Considering we're alone now, I don't know. I didn't mind it before Halo, but that changed things. That changed both of us, the first encounter with the Flood, the horrible battle for survival... after that, I promised to take care of him. He mattered more than most missions did.

Now, it's kind of irrelevant.

>>5144917 here

Start a new AI thread and I'll start posting once I'm writing, this one is autosaging (Or whatever it's called, moot claims to hate that phrase but hasn't given us a good alternative)

>>5144923
I think she is probably drawn to 117 for the same reasons the doctor is. I bet their is a good chance of inherited preferences, but I don't think that she shares the experiences of the doctor

>>5144882
>I'm only a few years old you know.

Going on 2 IIRC?

>>5144938
to bad we couldn't have achieved something worth archiving earlier, Well the role player playing Cortana is spot on. but I don't know if that is worth saving

>>5144947
Yep! Exact date of creation classified but I'm around that, yes.
>>5144923
I am a creation based off of Dr. Halsey, who is very much alive thank you.

>>5144923
>The real person the AI was based on died I think (probably at the Fall of Reach.)

Wrong. Cortana's based on Dr. Catherine Halsey who is a civilian scientist working for the UNSC & very much alive. In one of the books, I believe it's Fall of Reach, it flat out says that Cortana is a version of Halsey in her early to mid 20's with less care for social courtesies.

>If what I have heard is correct John is a redhead and likely pale when outside his armor (almost never.)

He's a brunette & all the Spartans are extremely pale - for the reason you stated.

>The Spartans are also somewhat emotionally stunted

Wrong. They've just been trained to put their emotions aside for the sake of the higher priority: the mission. You have to read the books for any emotion.

>The armor likely has force feedback as well

Nope. Just enhances strength, reflexes and speed nerve conduction in addition the the shields. There's a bit in FoR where MC salutes right after getting the Mjolnir armor and smacks the shit out of his visor. If he hadn't had nigh-unbreakable bones he'd have broken his wrist.

>>5144983
tick tick tick
I'm checking my watch, by my count you got about five years left. don't bet on that defragmenting you did or the power of "love" to hold you together. I am coming

"Mr. Batau! I just thought of a another fun use for natural oil!"

New thread
>>5145003

Spartans are incredibly pale. In the book, he's got brown hair and is as pale as a white backlit computer screen. PALE pale.

In Halo 3 if you angle your camera right you can see inside the helmet. He looks scarred as fuck and may be blind in one eye- his hair looks patchy too. I don't know if that's canon or just an easter egg, but it is possible that's actually him because the book description is set way before Halo 3.