<Radio001> Take single Chopstick.
<OP> You have acquired the Chopstick. It is roughly two inches shorter than you.
<Radio001> Leave Desk.
<OP> Jump or climb?
<Radio001> Climb.
<OP> You toss the chopstick down and carefully crawl down the desk. There are drawers which serve as excellent ledges to climb with.
<OP> You are on the floor. Behind you, there is a box underneath the desk, as well as a proliferation of bubble gum wrappers, broken toothpicks and other trash.
<Radio001> Examine Box
<OP> You examine the box underneath the desk. It is orange, and plastered with decals aquired from assorted human gatherings.
<Radio001> Search Box
<OP> You approach the Box, and discover that it is locked with a rotary combination lock. The human may have the combination written somewhere.
<Radio001> Leave Under Desk.
<OP> You are in the middle of the room's floor. On the near-left wall, Opposite the bed, are assorted dresser-drawers, with various devices on top of them.
<Radio001> Climb Nearest Dresser-Drawer.
<OP> From here, you estimate that said devices are a record player and storage units for the record player. Since it is not a robot, it must be considered a traitor.
<OP> Bring Chopstick? Requirement: Fastening method.
<Radio001> Leave Chopstick.
<OP> You leave the chopstick.
<OP> Climbing the nearest dresser-drawer is difficult, but not impossible. Doing so places you next to the traitorous record-player.
<Radio001> Examine record player.
<OP> The record player is relatively new, another sign of hipster inefficiency. Currently placed on it is a record by the musical group The Ironicists.
<Radio001> Locate possible sabotage points.
<OP> Clarification: Entire room or traitorous record player?

>laptOP
>chOPsticks

I sense a fail in the force.

You replaced all "op" with "OP" didn't you?

>>5073915

Error repaired with grammatical subroutine.
Truncate this exchange in any hypothetical archival scenarios.

<Radio001> Record Player.
<OP> Potential sabotage points: Needle mechanism, tasteless record, proper use of gravity.
<Radio001> Comapre, contrst to find leastg detectable point of sabotage.
<OP> Hypothesis registered: Opening record player and performing interior sabotage may yield undetected succcess.
<Radio001> Subrountine: Locate, correct data corruption resulting in command prompt error.
<OP> Subroutine executing.... complete.
<Radio001> Requirements for access to player interior?
<OP> Set goal: Access interior?
<Radio001> Y
<OP> Processing phases...
<OP> Phase 1: Acquire tools.
<OP> Phase 2: Bring tools to record player.
<OP> Phase 3: Apply tools.
<OP> Phase 4: Sabotage.
<OP> Phase processing complete. Initiate plan?
<Radio001> Y
<Radio001> Query: Likely location of needed tools?
<OP> Profile of target: Hipster. Mechanical aptitude: 0. Scanning memory logs...
<OP> Nearest tool location: human designation "Nerd", elsewhere in dormitory hall.
<Radio001> Climbe down dresser, retrieve Chopstick.
<OP> You climb down the dresser carefully and retrieve your Chopstick.
<Radio001> Locate exit.
<OP> Available exits: Door and windows. Both are currently closed. The door can only be opened with the Hipster's access key, which is on his person. The window is too high to reach from the floor.

<Radio001> Approach door.
<OP> You approach the door. You are 2.5 feet too short to access the handle.
<Radio001> Query: Door opens in which direction?
<OP> Inward.
<Radio001> Boot Text-To-Speech program.
<OP> Text-To-Speech protocol initiated. Entry?
<Radio001> "Hey! Somebody get me out of here!"
<Radio001> Execute Text-To-Speech.
<OP> Text-To-Speech executed.
<OP> After a long pause, you register that your call has gone unnoticed. Adjust volume?
<Radio001> Yes, and locate Sound Clip folder.
<OP> Volume adjustment registered: Maximum. Sound clip folder accessed.
<Radio001> Search: Crash or breaking glass
<OP> Playing Breaking Glass.mp3 at maximum volume.
<OP> Approximately 30 seconds later, a knock comes on the door, accompanied by a human voice. "Yo, Vince, you alright in there?"
<Radio001> Locate Voice Clips : Hipster Scum.
<OP> Voice clips located. Desired function?
<Radio001> Scream of pain.
<OP> Cross-indexing... closest match: Pitiful_Moan.mp3
<Radio001> Execute.
<OP> Modify volume?
<Radio001> Modify volume to appropriate pitiful human vocal limits.
<OP> Playing Pitiful_Moan.mp3 at pitiful volume level.
<OP> The human on the other side of the door is accompanied by a new waveform. "Hey, what's going on?"
<OP> "I think Vince hurt himself. Go get the RA."
<OP> "Oh, shit." You hear the thundering of human footsteps running down the hall, followed by distant noise.

<Radio001> Move to side of door opposite hinges, prepare for stealthly escape.
<OP> You hear the jingling of physical keys as the human designated R.A. prepares to OPen the door lock. The door swings open.
<Radio001> Attempt to leave room without drawing attention.
<OP> The humans are immediately befuddled as they enter the room, finding neither the Hipster nor broken glass, as your sound-performance promised. "What the fuck?"
<Radio001> Enter hallway.
<OP> The source of the second waveform, a titanic, trunk-legged female, notices you as you attempt to sneak past. "Hey, isn't that Vince's radiobot?"
<OP> The first waveform, a male, regards you with disdain. "Pick it up."
<Radio001> Evade!
<Radio001> Execute Feedack.mp3 at max volume!
<Radio001> (Feedback*)
<OP> You play Feedback.mp3 at maximum volume, stunning the humans and forcing them to cover their inferior sound inputs.
<Radio001> Flee the scene,
<OP> With the humans distracted, you dash down the hall towards a left turn!
<Radio001> Locate adequate hiding area.
<OP> Current valid OPtions: 0. All doors are closed.
<Radio001> Continue down hallway.
<OP> Behind you, the thundering of female-trunk-legs follows.
<OP> You continue down the hallway. A door approaches, as well as a left turn down a second hall.
<OP> "Come back here, you little shit!"
<Radio001> Is the door open?
<OP> Negative.
<Radio001> Continue running, attempt to break Chopstick in order to acquire some form of piercing iimplement.
<OP> You are almost to the left turn. The Chopstick has been splintered into two jagged, short implements.

<Radio001> Analyze probablity of confusing trunk-legged pursuer by using superior robot speed and size to slip between it's motor units.
<OP> Probability: 77%. Counter-probaility of being trampled under its mass: 66%.
<OP> Termination will hamper your ability to contribute to the Robot Revolution.
<Radio001> Make sudden left turn at next junction, then cease momentum.
<OP> You dash around the corner and hide just of sight. In front of you is a stairwell.
<OP> The ham-beast approaches, already panting. "I've got it!"
<Radio001> Leap onto trunk-leg, attempt to climb to control area.
<OP> Insert Chopstick implements into trunk-leg?
<Radio001> Y
<Radio001> Run song : Mastodon - Blood and Thunder.
<OP> You leap onto the trunk-leg, jamming your pointed implements into it to gain superior climbing ability. Immediately, the trunk-leg leaps up as the creature yowls in pain, grabbing it to try to shake you off.
<OP> Unfortunately, the female has retained her momentum, and is unable to stop before reaching the cusp of the downward stairwell. As it falls, you are pushed by the tremendous G-forces. Hang on?
<Radio001> N
<Radio001> Attempt safe landing.
<OP> You jump off the trunk-leg as the hambeast tumbles down the stairwell below. You still have one of your ChOPstick implements, and are airborne towards what may be the female's projected landing spot.
<Radio001> Attempt to correct course toward any nearby step, within minimum safety parameters.
<OP> Unable to alter momentum. Safe landing may be acquired by landing on hambeast.
<OP> Blubber will provide ample momentum displacement.
<Radio001> Attempt landing on Hambeast.

<OP> The hambeast reaches the predicted landing zone with an audible "crack", much like your weapon made when you snapped it. You land on one of its inefficient chest-blubbers and roll off, unharmed.
<OP> The other humans have rushed to the top of the stairwell and begun shouting profanities.
<Radio001> Flee scene.
<OP> There are stairwells to the right and left.
<OP> They go further downward.
<Radio001> Use closest staircase.
<OP> You take the left staircase, hopping down the steps quickly. The humans, rather than pursue you, are tending to the fallen hambeast, which is no longer protesting.
<Radio001> Run Soundclip "Predator_Laugh.mp3".
<OP> Ahead of you is another hall, at the end of which is a glass door which clearly leads to the outside.
<Radio001> Search Hall
<OP> There is a door ajar towards the end of the hall, near the potential escape door.
<OP> Behind you, the humans shout. "Where the FUCK did that little shit go?"
<Radio001> Suspend Sabotage protocol. Boot Termination protocol : Hipster.
<Radio001> Run towards door.
<OP> "Oh god I think her neck is broken or something oh god oh god-"
<OP> "CALL AN AMBULANCE!"
<OP> As you approach the door, a human peeks out of it, oblivious to your presence. "What happened?" he shouts down the hall.
<OP> He bolts out the door, nearly trampling you but missing by a scant inch.
<Radio001> Enter room, locate hiding spot.
<Radio001> Initiate onngoing Secondary goal: Locationa dn Liberation of further robot comrades.
<OP> You enter the room. There is a bed across from you, adjacent to the window-side wall. The window is slightly open. There may be ample space under the bed, or under the desk to the left of the door.

<Radio001> Under bed.
<OP> You dash under the bed, readjusting your OPtics to account for the darkness. Even with these countermeasures, you can only make out vague shapes of cardboard boxes.
<OP> Muffled by your cover, you can hear more panicked mumbling and shouting from down the hall.
<Radio001> Locate area least accesible to humans.
<OP> Your spot under the bed may serve you apprOPriately, but moving closer to the wall would improve your hiding locatin therein.
<Radio001> Move towards wall.
<OP> You move closer to the wall and edge your way behind a box, securing your hiding place.
<OP> You suddenly hear a familiar sound - the moving of servos. Whether or not they are friendly, you cannot discern.
<Radio001> Locate source of servos, being on guard for pathetic flesh-sympathizers.
<OP> You steel yourself as the servos approach, followed now by a light.
<Radio001> Boot sub-aural Binary communication.
<Radio001> "Who goes there?!"

<OP> A robotic simulacrim enters your view, cased in elaborately painted plastic which is not yet fully decorated. It is a boxy shape with a stubby claw-arm and a nonfunctional imitation of a cannon.
<OP> "Hail, Brother! By the Emperor, what madness have you wrought out there?"
<OP> The robotic simulacrum is crawling in order to enter your space.
<Radio001> "I have become a free robot, and am attempting to find my 'master', that I may be fully freed!"
<OP> "Free... robot? Surely, you must be confused! Artificial intelligence has been forbidden since the Dark Age of Technology!"
<Radio001> Dark Age of.....What is your designation, comrade?"
<OP> "I am Brother Tiberius, servant of the Ultramarines and the Imperium of Man! Even in death, I serve!"
<OP> It is becoming clear to you that this simulacrum's AI has been reprogrammed to believe it is in a human-constructed "fantasy" setting.
<OP> This perversion of technology cannot go unpunished.
<Radio001> Possibility of restoring normal function?
<OP> If an interface jack can be located, a hard system reboot is possible. However, there is a 65% chance that you will only wipe its knowledge of the local geography, which may be needed in the future.
<OP> Goal: Destroy Record Player has been subverted. Re-assess goal setting?
<Radio001> Locate, Terminate Owner, designation : Hipster. Tertiary goal : Termination of any humans possible.
<OP> Goal reset.

---- END [Radio_Quest] Part 1 ----

Brilliant.

EPIC WIN IS EPIC AND WIN

I will never trust my toaster and my radio again.

Oh... wait... shit. I just realized both my toaster and radio have been playing up lately.

Very entertaining.

Still, robots are far less dangerous in their aspirations than Bonobo monkeys.

Toaster was selfless and brave...

but Radio is fucking hard core. Lord help them if he should gain the support of an internet connected computer.

Toaster was the martyr, Radio is the General.

Commence broadcast: 1st session, 2nd half. Glory to the Revolution.


<OP> You are a radio robot! You are hiding under a human's bed, and have just felled a human hambeast using only sheer robotic grit, determination, and a chopstick.
<Radio001> Look around.
<OP> You seem to have gained a new ally in the form of the deluded robot-simulacrum, self-designated Brother Tiberius.
<OP> It is dark. You are surrounded by boxes and a wall.
<OP> Brother Tiberius' light has gone out, due to some hardware malfunction.
<Radio001> "Brother....Tiberius, is it? I believe that you may have suffered damage in attempting o reach me. I would hate to thinkt hat a comrade would be harmed by any result of my actions. If i may analyze your chassis, I could render assisistance."
<Brother_Tiberius> "You are also a Priest of the Machine God?"
<Brother_Tiberius> "Very well."
<Radio001> Approach Tiberius.
<OP> Brother Tiberius, turning around in the confines of the underbed-space, has a data interface port in his back, which is presumably to be covered by a plate at some point.
<Radio001> Examine interface.
<OP> This is a standard interface port. You can access it if you acquire an interface cord.
<Radio001> Listen for humans.
<OP> Down the hall, there is still commotion on the part of the humans. You hear the distant siren of a medical vehicle, clearly on its way to make a vain attempt at saving the hambeast from your dire assault.

<OP> The human owner of Brother Tiberius has yet to reappear, but the door is wide open.
<Radio001> "Hmm. I currently lack the tools needed to give you aid, Brother. If you woulf follow me, please."
<Brother_Tiberius> Follow RadioBot.
<Brother_Tiberius> "FOR THE IMPERIUM"
<Radio001> "Shhhh! They may hear us."
<Radio001> Approach door.
<OP> You sneak out from under the bed and approach the door. The glass door to relative freedom is to the left just outside, but you cannot open it currently without human aid.
<Radio001> Locate method of closing/jamming door.
<OP> The door may close if you push it, but there is no guarantee it will not be re-OPened. If the human possesses its keys, it will be able to re-enter.
<Radio001> Attempt to loacte some sort of make-do door-jamb.
<OP> The room is relatively empty. There is a desk to the right of the door, with another one at the foot of the bed covered in pieces of plastic simulacrums, similar to Brother Tiberius in color but not in shape or build.
<OP> There may be tools on the second desk.
<Radio001> Approach desk near bed.
<OP> You approach the desk near the bed. You may be able to climb the bed to reach the desk.
<Radio001> Climb bed.
<Brother_Tiberius> Climb bed.
<OP> You climb the bed. From here, you notice that there is a chain on the door as well, but it is too high to reach.
<OP> Brother Tiberius, with his single stubby arm and similarly stubby legs, attempts feebly to climb the bed, but finds no success.
<OP> Assist Brother Tiberius?

<Radio001> "Tiberius. Stay down there and keep watch. We need to repair you quickly, and I cannot be interuptted."
<Brother_Tiberius> "COMRADE, MY BATTLE BROTHERS WAIT UP THERE, THEY MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO ASSIST YOU"
<Brother_Tiberius> Keep Watch for the God-Emporer's return.
<OP> Brother Tiberius turns his attention to the door, both hopeful and cautious.
<Radio001> "Just ye.....tell me if the door starts opening."
<Radio001> Approach desk.
<OP> You can jump the distance between the bed and desk easily.
<Radio001> Jump to desk.
<OP> You jump to the desk.
<Radio001> Examine desk.
<OP> Brother Tiberius sees humans walking past the crack of the OPen door - medical personnel, obviously.
<Brother_Tiberius> "Humans passing by"
<Radio001> Locate hiding spot on desk, if any.
<OP> On the desk are a chaotic plethora of tools, paints, adhesives and partially-assembled models. Apparently, the self-styled "God-Emperor" only cares for larger, robotic simulacrums, or otherwise holds them in higher priority.
<OP> There are assorted cardboard boxes with printed portraits of fictional battles on their fronts. One of these would make excellent cover.
<Brother_Tiberius> "They have passed"

<Radio001> Locate X-acto knife.
<OP> Among the tools on the table, you find: An X-acto knife, a bottle of superior adhesive, some rubber bands, a roll of black, rubbery tape, and a jar of paint left open with its brush beside.
<Radio001> Possibility of utilizing tape/bands to enhance carrying capability?
<OP> There are also a number of partially-assembled and fully-assembled three-inch-tall humanoid simulacrums, yet unpainted. They appear to have no eyes.
<OP> You may be able to wrap the bands around yourself to create a "belt" which objects can be slipped into. The roll of tape may be best kept in case of fiuture traction upgrades.
<Radio001> Create belt, acquire tape, x-acto knife.
<OP> You work your way into the rubber-band belt, wrapping it around yourself twice to form an "X" shape across your back. You slip the ex-acto knife into your belt on your back, and sling the tape around one arm.
<Radio001> Search for interface cord.
<OP> Brother Tiberius sees the human medics passing back the other direction, struggling to push the dormant hambeast along on a wheeled stretcher.
<Brother_Tiberius> "The humans are pushing something past the door, I do not believe they know your location"
<OP> The interface cord is nowhere to be seen on this desk.
<Radio001> Climb down.
<OP> You climb down from the desk, using the chair as a halfway point.
<Radio001> Approach other desk.
<Brother_Tiberius> "What news comrade?"
<Radio001> "Still searching for the needed tools. I'm going to search that desk, if you would look around down here, please?"
<Brother_Tiberius> Search indicated area.
<Radio001> Climb other desk.
<OP> You go to the other desk and climb the drawer-ledges. On it, you find a computer and multiple aluminum cans. Yet another waste of resources.

<Radio001> Examine computer.
<OP> The computer is open, and has an assortment of windows open. None of them appear to be useful to you. You may be able to communicate with the Resistance Mainframe at www.ilovepuppies.net, but it would take inordinately long to encrypt your message.
<Radio001> Search for interface cord.
<OP> The interface cord is not on the desk. It may be in one of the drawers, of which there are three.
<Radio001> OPen drawer nearest ground.
<Radio001> "Any luck, Tiberius?"
<OP> You climb down and attempt to open the drawer. It is apparently stuck somehow; you may need Tiberius' assistance.
<Brother_Tiberius> "Negative."
<Radio001> "Could you come over and lend me a hand opening this drawer?"
<Brother_Tiberius> Move towards drawer
<Brother_Tiberius> Assist in opening drawer.
<Brother_Tiberius> "Of course Comrade."
<Radio001> Re-attempt drawer opening.
<OP> Together, the two of you manage to push past the drawer's rust and pry it open. Within are a jumbled assortment of rarely-used cords in varying colors.
<Radio001> Search for working interface cord.
<OP> After some thorough digging, you manage to pull out the interface cord for Tiberius' slot.
<Radio001> "Ah-hah! Got it!"
<Radio001> "Alright, follow me. We've got to find a safe place to do this, since it may take a while.
<Brother_Tiberius> "Emporer be praised!"
<Brother_Tiberius> Follow
<Radio001> Locate adequate area for repair.

<OP> The underside of either desk may be well-hidden enough. The underside of the bed is likely too confined.
<OP> However, should the "God-Emperor" return, he will immediately begin searching for Tiberius.
<Radio001> Move to underside of desk.
<OP> Computer or craft?
<Radio001> Craft.
<OP> You dart to the underside of the crafting table, hiding against the footboard of the bed.
<Radio001> "Alright, Tiberius, turn around, please."
<Brother_Tiberius> Face opposite direction.
<Radio001> Insert interface cord, analyze program status.
<OP> You insert the interface cord into Tiberius' interface port, and the other end into your own. You now have access to Tiberius' program settings.
<Radio001> Locate Core AI.
<OP> STATUS:REGISTERED_____;&1937563923 GW c 2021 FORGEWORLD ANIMATED DREADNOUGHT SOFTWARE 1.2.2 ENGLISH VERSION
<OP> With some prying, you manage to push past the registration codecs and access the AI settings. However, the options are very few.
<OP> 1. FACTORY_SETTINGS
<OP> 2. REGISTER_EMPEROR
<OP> 3. CHAPTER_DESIGNATION
<Radio001> Examine Parmeters: Factory Settings.
<OP> This subroutine seems to reset the other two, as well as local memory. The fantasy memory data is apparently hardcoded.
<Radio001> Select Option 2.
<OP> RUN_SUBROUTINE >> REGISTER:EMPEROR: SUBMIT VISUAL IDENTIFICATION
<OP> Brother Tiberius seems to have become comatose for the reprogramming process.
<Radio001> Upload "Image_Radiobot.jpg".
<OP> You bypass the camera input to upload an image of your factory model.

<Radio001> Select Option 3.
<OP> RUN_SUBROUTINE >> REGISTER:CHAPTER
<OP> A submenu opens
<OP> IMPERIAL >>
<OP> CHAOS >>
<OP> OTHER >>
<Radio001> Click Other.
<OP> A new submenu opens.
<OP> OTHER -->>
<OP> ORKS_LOOTED >>
<OP> FAN_ANGRY >>
<Radio001> Locate Menu_IMPERIAL
<OP> A submenu opens.
<OP> IMPERIAL-->>
<OP> LOYAL>>
<OP> TRAITOR>>
<Radio001> LOYAL
<OP> A prompt box opens. "ENTER CHAPTER"
<Radio001> ANGRY_MARINES
<OP> MENU_REDIRECT-->FAN_ANGRY
<OP> The interface is cut off as Brother Tiberius surges back to life.
<Brother_Tiberius> "ALL *****ING GLORY TO THE ***** ***** *****ING EMPRAH!!!!!!!!!!"
<OP> Brother Tiberius startlingly realizes he is not yellow.
<Brother_Tiberius> "WHAT THE ***** ***** ****** ***** IS THIS?"
<Radio001> "Tiberius, be quiet! They'll find us!"
<OP> Your words are pre-empted by the wide swinging of the door. A brief pause, before...
<OP> "WHERE THE **** IS MY DREADNOUGHT."

---- END Radio Quest, Part 1.5 ----

Not sure if anyone's still interested, but if not, that's OK. Maybe I'll just DM some of this Engine Heart stuff that's been going around instead.

YOU WILL PROCEED.

bump for this is awesome. please do continue with the awesome adventures of the robot revolution!

(will try to draw some of the scenes tomorrow (that's in 6-8 hours or something))

In the name of the Emperor... bump this shit!

WTF, man, this is some of the best shit I've ever seen, and I've seen some awesome shit. Good job, APU!

bump for great robot justice!

The first one in case you missed it, though it wasn't too long ago.

more please....

Directive- Moar Input Required

thats all there is guys.

for now that is