fuck that, grow some legs and walk away

Up ahead, there is a three way split in the tracks. Which way should you go?

We go the direction the warehouse is in, of course.

>>5057460
the one on top/right

>>5057460

Right into the fucking tree.

>>5057460

Straight, unlike you homofag

>>5057460
Whichever way the tracks are set to go.

inb4 obvious jokes about paths of travel

OH I GET IT.

IT IS A JOKE ON RAILROADING. IT IS A PUN, A PLAY ON WORDS.

As it turns out, you couldn't have gone any other way because that's how the tracks were set. But I guess it was the right thing to do as you're on your way to the WAREHOUSE.

I say we get this shit OFF THE RAILS. Drive it to the nearest bar and get drunk.

>>5057517
FUCK THAT SHIT.

PUNCH THE GODDAMN ENGINE. WE'RE GOING TO GO THE BAR AND GET SHITFACED.

>>5057517
MULTI TRACK DRIFTING! GET ONTO BOTH TRACKS!

>>5057502
I don't get it. Explain the joke to me.

Use PERSPECTIVE to examine CARGO

Shitty DM is Shitty.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Railroading

Shit guys, the bridge is out; what do you do?

FULL STEAM AHEAD

CHOOCHOO

Summon a dirt mound and a Dixie Horn!

>>5057487

Didn't I already own you? Stop, OP. Just stop.

>>5057597
Fall off.

>>5057597
RAMP THAT SHIT

WE ARE THE POWERFUL AND MIGHTY F40PH. NONE CAN STAND BEFORE OUR MIGHT.

>>5057603

This.

sage for trainies.

Haha, it seems someone has cleverly made it so that it only LOOKED like the bridge was out. But actually the land was just cleverly painted so that if someone was to look at it, it would look like there was a dangerous chasm! Anyway, on to the WAREHOUSE.

>>5057704

Swap vaginas with your mother

Well, you've made it to the WAREHOUSE and have dropped off your GOODS. QUEST COMPLETE.
You don't have anything else scheduled for today. What would you like to do?

>>5057765
You never know when SHOGGOTHS might attack. We need to install MACHINE GUN TURRET pronto!

>>5057765

fly to the moon.

trains can fly in space, right?

>>5057765
Punch the sun.

>>5057724
The mental process behind that image....

>>5057789
Using the money you recieved for the delivery job, you install a powerful anti-personel/anti-arcraft gun onto your train.

>>5057797
>>5057800
Sadly, we are not the Galaxy Express 999.

rig the train to explode.

>>5057820
Using our new TURRET mount, apply for MILITARY TRANSIT jobs. we should be applicable now.

>>5057820
Fuck yes!

Our engine is looking pretty lonely all by itself. Let's attatch some BOXCARS for extra STORAGE CAPACITY.

>>5057834
A few, quick calls later, you are approved for military status. You quickly paint on your military identification symbol and have received a new quest. You must deliver your BULLETS to the ENEMY.

Well this is pretty cool, first time I tried playing in a quest and first time I got my request honored. G'night!

>>5057853
>>5057849
Buy one boxcar, SHOOT THE ENEMY, and round their corpses, women, and children up into the boxcar. priority goes to the living.

sell them to slavery/meatmarkets, return to military base for military pay.

Knowledge(politics) check: Who is the ENEMY?

>>5057853
Go AWOL

>>5057885
oh shit that's important.

I almost forgot

We will deliver our BULLETS to the ENEMY using the expedient delivery system of our antipersonnell turret.

>>5057897
be sure to accelerate to MAXIMUM RAIL SPEED before shooting to make sure the bullets hit with MAXIMUM INTENSITY

Also, why are we delivering bullets to someone we identify as an enemy?

>>5057881
You attach your new boxcar. You have run out of FUNDS.

>>5057885
The enemy is the hated VELONS. Your great nation has been at war with them for over three decades.

>>5057927
fuck yes, we look rad.

though now we really need to get some deliveries done. Any other jobs that require deliveries near the VELON territory?

knowledge(politics) check: What is our great nation?

>>5057927
Build additional pylons!

Perhaps delivering munitions to our enemies is a poor idea. Unless our government ordered it. Then it's politcs.

I'm merely suggesting that we not get our lovely train impounded by guv'ment officials on grounds of treason.

Pull out from warehouse.

>>5057935
My, how could you have forgotten the name of your great nation? The great nation of...

>>5057969
Transitia

>>5057949

we will be delivering said bullets via a system of railguns directly to our enemies' faces.

>>5057969

Annexia.

>>5057981
>train
>railguns
>iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg

>>5057969
>>5057969
Frenchenglandolia

>>5057977


THIS

You decide you had better get moving, that electricity doesn't pay for itself. You move onward to express deliver your bullets to the hated VELONS for your great nation TRANSITIA.

INV check

STATUS check. What are our capabilities? Specifications? Loadout?(at the moment just the turret, I suppose)

Do we have a map of the territory? Not that it matters much, rails and all...

>>5058030
You currently possess:
3823 ELECTRO UNITS (fuel)
1 MULTIPURPOSE DELIVERY AUTOCANNON
10000 rounds of ANTI-PERSONEL AMMUNITION.
5000 rounds of ANTI-AIRCRAFT AMMUNITION.
3 EXPLOSIVE ANTI-ARMOUR rounds.
1 BOXCAR (capacity: 30 tons/40 humans[comfortably])

>>5058055
Also, how legal is the SLAVETRADE in transitia, villania, and any territories between?

What have we got going for us in terms of CREW? Is that important for our purposes?

>>5057502
I wish I'd thought of it. It's a raily good idea. I need to train harder!
KEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

>>5058051
This is the current map of the island our nations reside. We don't talk about Evend.

>>5058065
Slave trade is prohibited, unless they are POWs.


You are now authorized to change the course of your rails.

>>5058094
Scale pl0x.

Also, what is our rate of expenditure of electro units? In game terms, or units/mile?

>>5058089
YOU operate this train, but there is your chief engineer, Randy.

>>5058155

Who operates the turret?

>>5058094
INVADE EVAND

>>5058092
Oh god, don't even get me started, I might end up de-railing the thread.

I get build up quite a head of steam when it comes to puns and bad jokes.

But even if I take it too far, I can always just... pfffft... make tracks!

GIIIIIIHIHIHIHIHIHI

>>5058129
The purple dot shows the train's present location. The outline is that of a fictional country I'm sure you're familiar with.
ELECTRO UNITS (EU) are expended 1 per 100 miles. You could cross the whole island's width on about 600 EU.

>>5058179
The turret is linked to your command.

>>5058234
Er, 60 EU. Extra 0 added.

>>5058222
Hey gnoll, you going continue godquest?

>>5058222

I hope you don't get steamed when I rail against you for your coalossusly bad puns but the fact of the matter is you're so unfunny you should be taken back to the shed. Why you choo-choose to continually track down threads like this is beyond me, don't your realize you're the engineer of your own failure?

Plow on into enemy territory. Tell chief engineer to be on lookout for planes vehicles or buildings we could blow up with our turret

>>5058345
Wrong Gnoll, I'm not the Questwriter. You want the first gnoll to post in this thread.

>>5058347
::Golfclap::

You beat me tonight. It's goddamn early over here, so I applaud you.

You have encountered your first enemy. It appears to be unarmed. Unfortunately, your mounted gun is not able to deliver the BULLETS to the ENEMY TRAIN at this moment.

Command informs you there is a junction ahead.

>_

>>5058365
Wait, there's two of you? Oh god..

>>5058381
God's god NOTHING to do with it.

GIIIIIIIIIIIHIHIHIHI

Goddamnit who the hell mounted a gun ok the SIDE of a train?!?

Can we choose where to go ok the junction? If so, bring gun to bear on enemy train. If not, take mandatory side of junction, glare at enemy with hostility.

>>5058365
You took that better than expected.

I still hate you.

>>5058408
That's fine. There's Gnoll love lost.

GIIIIIIIIIIIHIHIHIHIHI

>>5058406
The enemy train raises a fl- aw hell no.

Randy informs you that he will think of something to fix the gun problem.

>>5058432
That was beastly of you.

Where does the junction take us?

>>5058438
Fuck them, raise our own flag.

>>5058439
I couldn't ox for a better crowd!
Really though, I couldn't bear a better audience than /tg/. Animal choked up, too...

But, back on track, let steam up and keep this railroaded adventure a-chuggin'!

GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHIHIHIHIHIHI

The junction is quickly approaching.

>_

ALL STOP.

>>5058472
You said I won but I'd say there's some steam left in you yet!

Now seriously, stop punning. I need to go do some washing and eat breakfast, I can't be having you running around making puns in my absence.

There's always lots of gnolls. We're notorious mercenaries. We horde ourselves out to anyone!
KEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

>>5058489
Bah... although sleep sounds really, really good right now.

Well, Might stay up a bit longer. You have a good breakfast and stuff, okay?

>>5058495
GIIIIIIHIHIHIHIHIHI

>>5058478

Fuck that noise, FULL STEAM AHEAD.

Looks like you'll be needing a much bigger gun.

>>5058478
We auto fire the autocannons

>>5058478
Let it hit the junction first, then you can use the guns to fire forwards!

Seriously full steam ahead. If we hit them, that COWCATCHER ok the front should do some damage. If not, we have PLOT ARMOR anyways.

And if we don't hit well end up in front or behind them. In range for the turret.

>>5058524
>>5058550

You set your train to full speed, expending an extra EU to pull in front of the other train. The junction connects and you are now on the same rail. The MULTIPURPOSE AUTOCANNON targets the enemy train. Randy requests which ammunition type you'd like to use.

>_

ARMOR PIERCING

Tell randy to load up an anti armor explosive round, and ready some anti-air rounds if the enemy train needs to be finished off afterwards.

Incendiary.

WE ONLY HAVE 3 ANTI-ARMOR ROUNDS

THAT'S FOR KILLING FUCKIN TANKS

SAVE THEM FOR TANKS

USE MULTIPURPOSE ROUNDS TO KILL TRAIN

THERE ARE NO MULTIPURPOSE ROUNDS. YOU MISREAD THE "MULTIPURPOSE AUTOCANNON" ENTRY.

ALSO, CAPSLOCK

load ANTI-PERSONEL AMMUNITION
fire on enemy conductor box to kill conductor
board in transit and capture engine
double your power

>>5058586
>>5058596
>>5058657
Randy loads up the ANTI-ARMOUR rounds.

(Poorly animated? Yup.)

>>5058668

loot the body! err, wreckage.

>>5058668
Call up command and receive PAYMENT for our first DELIVERY on the job.

>>5058693

This. Ammunition delivered!

Bro-fist Randy. Job well done.

>>5058690
You find:
3 ANTI-ARMOUR rounds (total: 5)
3 EU
1 ENEMY SOLDIER
2 MULTIPURPOSE RAILS

Randy gathers the materials and puts the ENEMY SOLDIER into the back car. The ENEMY SOLDIER complies, not wanting any more BULLETS delivered to him.

>>5058693
>>5058728
Command sends you 3000 of your nation's finest dollars. The want you to continue onward to destroy a vital VELONS FULE DEPOT.

>>5058728
Randy hops up front and you bro-fist for being awesome.

Kill enemy soldier and nail his corpse to our train.

Randy is a fucking awesome Bro.

Take a second to bask in the sweet sense of victory.

Give Randy the helm, turn in for the night.

Mentally dedicate this first victory to Transitia.

Sway to sleep warmed by the humming electro units, lulled by the chugging of the train as tracks click past.

All glory to Transitia.

Under a star-dappled sky the F40PH Transitia's Faithful moves steadily deeper onto enemy territory. Her horn fades into the distance, it's power never wavering.

choo... choo....

use steam whistle

smoke em if you got em

Going to turn in myself. Hope this thread is here in the morning. Might be worth an archive.

Night, Conductor. Thank you for an original and really decent quest.

8/10 would read again. Anon salutes you.

It's getting late for me, or early I should say.

I really didn't intend for this to actually go anywhere after the whole bridge thing, but I felt compelled to continue. If any of you would like to continue this at a later date I wouldn't mind doing it some more.

>>5058824

>>5058824
Oh hell yeah, I love these threads and for once I'm not too late to contribute.

Any idea when you'll be back on?

>>5058846
Probly tomorrow night.

>>5058834
Definitely something we'll have to look into.

Night guys, it's been a pleasure.

http://my-first-time-naked.net/?id=3418224

this thread proves that railroading can be fun, if you have autocannons