Only two things to do, get high, then masturbate.

stand

examine floor

>>5020019

ok, you've got my attention. Just post quickly.

>>5020039

Normally I'd go with this. First, however, I'd check myself for wounds.

>>5020019
I bid the bear shaped blood soaked monster take me under it's wing, for I wish only to destroy my enemies.

Are we male of female? A basic description of who we are would suffice.

>>5020062

You, sir, sound like an Extraordinary Gentlemen.

rolled 2 + 1 = 3

dice?

>>5020039

*********

Still half-asleep, you slide your hand down toward your crotch. Your muscles are stiff and sore.

You hear a woman's voice.

"Master? Ave na rok?"

>>5020065

Male. Scrawny.

Possessions: Headache

>>5020081
Say "Who the fuck are you and what the fuck's going on?" or something similar.

>>5020047
*********

You gather your limbs under you and shakily get to your feet. You look down.

The floor beneath you is black stone, cut with many grooves in intricate patterns. Lumps of raw meat lie around you, and blood drains from them into the grooves.

You are covered in blood, stiff and sore, but seem otherwise uninjured.

>>5020133
Check to see if it's my own blood.

>>5020133

Carve the pumpkin into a surprised face and put it in the sad recess.

>>5020125
*********

"Who the fuck are you and what the fuck's going on?"

Your voice rasps, and stings your throat. You peer into the gloom where the voice came from.

A tall woman in a black, hooded robe stares at you with undisguised loathing. The wall behind her is lined with books. Tables to either side of her are piled high with papers, glassware, and parts of machines. She hesitates before answering in halting english.

"Did... the procedure... succeed, Master? Do you not know me?"

>>5020193

'Yes. Everything went according to plan. What news?'

>>5020224

Her twists with rage, but her voice is level and polite.

"Of course it did, Master. Your warpcraft is, as ever, flawless. Node, report."

This last was addressed over your left shoulder. You turn to see two more female figures. One is dressed in a maid's uniform; her eyes are downcast, and she bears a folded black robe and a towel. The other appears to be a young girl with long white hair. She wears a white robe which reaches the floor. Three thick cables emerge from beneath it and run out the door behind her.

The girl bows. "Master. An unlicensed cult awaits your judgement. A Doom has been identified, and awaits your judgement. The greater Doom you have been monitoring has not appeared; the seers predict its manifestation three days hence."

>>5020302

'Interesting. They'll have to wait. Restrain her.' *point to woman in black*

>>5020302
"I shall judge this cult first. Tell me, what information on them do we have?"

>>5020019
Is it wrong that I see her and think of the beast from The Satan Pit?

>>5020344

"By your will, Master."

Two armored figures emerge from the door behind her. They carry large rifles fitted with bayonets, and a cable runs from the neck of each back into the hallway behind them. Their armor is emblazoned with the astrological sign for Cancer.

The woman in black bows her head. They seize her roughly and bear her to a metal table. Once upon it, they secure her wrists, ankles, neck, and waist with manacles built into the surface.

>>5020414

Gather Information from Node about why the black-robe-chick hates me so much, and ask the maid to prepare a bath; gotta wash the blood off.

>>5020414

Bound on her back, the woman in black stares at you with hate. Her hood has fallen back, revealing golden hair and long, pointed ears. A low hum emerged from the table beneath her; her eyes roll back in her head, and she goes limp. A chill begins to emanate from the device.

>>5020441
Make googly eyes and funny faces at the lady.

>>5020441

>>5020424 here

Instead, gather information about what the hell is going on and how to not die, as well as why I'm so hated by 'Goldie.'

>>5020379

"Yes, Master. The cult was discovered in the outskirts of Sacrament City on Verdant. In defiance of your decree that only the government may do so, they treated with creatures of the warp. Their goals seem to have been pleasure and personal power. Of the fifteen members, six were slain resisting arrest. Three of the survivors have been confirmed as unregistered psiactives."

>>5020501
"They dare defy us? Ha! Tell me is there any promise in any of them? Anything we can use? Otherwise I see no reason to waste my time with such fool, and we shall have them execute immediately! Oh, and do make it entertaining and original. No reason why we can't have a little fun."

>>5020424

The maidservant bows low, places the towel and robe on a table, and backs out of the room.

Node addresses you. Her eyes are gray, and clouded with cataracts; her voice is clear and monotone.

"The alien female you have named Phyrra has served you for 312 years, since shortly after she and her associates assisted Laman in that moon's rebellion against you. After study of her comrades, you installed a mechanical warpcraft device in her skull, with the intention of affecting her psychology. As a result, she is compelled to do her utmost to serve and obey you. While your notes at the time record that you could have forced her to love you and delight in your service, you did not, as punishment. A complex series of orders and compulsions, amended and reviewed every three years, regulate her behavior."

>>5020588

'What's she doing now? Am I in danger?'

>>5020539

"The leader of the group registers a warp curvature of 2.4. The Master's Ear overheard the investigating officer describing her as, quote, a wily bitch, but did you see that ass, wouldn't kick that out of bed, end quote. The other two psiactives register a 1.1 and a 0.8, within the range you have designated as experimental materiel. As for the executions... Master. Originality is not within my purview. Shall I contact your master of revels?"

>>5020651

"The restraint system prevents the use of warpcraft by a combination of endothermic power-grounding and disruptive nerve impulses. What she is doing right now, Master, is suffering. As for danger, Master, you informed me three years ago that, quote, a man of my station is always in danger, until he is dead, end quote. Would you like an update on the Dooms you have been monitoring?"

>>5020673
"Constrain the leader, and then bring her to me. The captain has good taste. Begin experimentation on the other two, the leader will follow when I am done. And please, contact the Master of Revels and tell him to tell me when he can bring me a good show from these wretches when experimentation is done. All but the leader, after experimentation she may still have some use."

>>5020720

*draw smiley face over Phyrra's face using the blood on my fingers*

'I'll have a bath first. Come with me; I want to hear everything about the experiment that has just concluded. As for Goldie, leave her. I'll deal with the Dooms after I bathe, unless there is pressing news. And hold my robe and towel; I'd rather not get blood all over clean clothes. Will anyone else see me on the way to my bath?'

>>5020750

Node bows. "By your will."

>>5020763

When you draw close to the bound woman, you can see that she is twitching slightly, as if wracked by subtle seizures. Her mouth hangs half-open, saliva running down one cheek, and tears pool in her eyes. Her skin is smooth and cool beneath your bloody finger.

"None remain within the Sanctum but my limbs, the alien Phyrra, my sister, and yourself, Master. The bathing chamber is prepared."

Node leads you out the door, into an arched stone hallway lit by subtly glowing frescoes. The one you are passing depicts a starscape and planets.

>>5020847

'Good. Were there any potential complications to this recent procedure?'

>>5020861

[i.e. my appearing covered in blood and whatever happened prior to that]

Play with penis. Gain erection. Ask your servants what they think of it.

>>5020861
>>5020875

"The procedure appears successful, Master. You stated a desire to rid yourself of the biological and psicological eccentricities you had developed through long-term use of warpcraft and advanced age. While your attempts to maintaining the Four Powers in balance within you greatly reduced the rate at which these eccentricities accumulated, you were dissatisfied, and sought to restore yourself to a more pure and healthy state. You mentioned a need to be ready for the Great Doom you had predicted.

Your use of 9 high-grade psiactives in a network of 3 stable Eve configurations seems to have accomplished the desired result: a restoration of your corporeal form to its state 29,000 years ago, before you left the Homeworld. The psiactives were, of course, destroyed.

Here is your bathchamber, Master. Shall I prepare the circle to summon the Heralds, that you may mock their masters' attempts to corrupt and suborn you? You expressed a desire to do so before you undertook the procedure."

>>5020989

'First, can you keep a secret?'

>>5020989
"No, no. I believe now is a time for relaxation. There shall be plenty of time for mocking later."

>>5020989

Double doors open into steam. The room contains a large pool, fed by a gargoyle high on the wall at either end. One has a face twisted in mad mirth; its water steams and hisses. The other is dour and eyeless, and rimed with frost.

The maidservant from before stands beside the pool, nude. She holds a tray of brushes, soaps, and scented oils. Her eyes stared fixedly at the floor.

>>5021006

"My security procedures have not been breached in the three years I have served you, Master."

>>5021037
Get in pool.

Whisper to Node: "How trustworthy is the maid?"
If Node says she is trust worth beckon her.
"Come my darling. I am in need of great relaxation after this. Please hand me any assorted oils that would help in this."

When she comes, inspect her body. Physically, if she's attractive to the eye.

so guys get this one day i woke up and i was a radical inquisitor, how cool is that shit?

>>5021049

'And were they breached before that?'

Why were the Chaos Gods trying to eat us at the beginning?

>>5021073

The pool is warm. A subtle current spreads a trail of blood away from you, darkening the water.

>"How trustworthy is the maid?"

"Before assigning my sister to the Sanctum, you personally examined her psi-leash and announced her incapable of betrayal, Master."

You examine the maidservant. Her hair is short and black, hiding her eyes as she stares at the floor. You would judge her age at around twenty; she is a bit below average height, and full curves draw your eye along her.

She kneels, places the tray on the floor, and chooses a flask of emerald liquid. She pours a small amount in her palm, and holds both oiled hand and bottle toward you.

>>5021135
because radical inquisitors are DELICIOUS

>>5021090

"Before that, Master, I was human. Records I became privy two after my Incorporation indicate that dissidents from Laman had assaulted the previous Mind via the Dataweave. After breaching only the first sphere, hey fell into a thought-trap and were destroyed. Regardless, you decided to upgrade."

>>5021199
"Come slave. I am in need of a massage."

>>5021250

*get into bath*

'All right. Update me on the current situation with the Dooms whilst I am bathed. When you finish [*look at maid*] leave us.'

>>5021284 here

>'[*look at maid*] When you finish, leave us.'

fix'd

After bath, broach that I've not recovered my memory since the procedure to Node, and ask her to fill me in.

brb store

>>5021257

Pale hands knead balm into your shoulders. Soreness dissolves before spreading warmth, and an herbal scent, halfway between mint and oregano, envelops you.

>>5021284

"A Doom awaits your judgement, Master. The Seers predict that a child born six months and three days hence in the mining settlement of Baem's Strike on Goodstone will grow to slay you. The population of Baem's Strike is 3,270. There are two reported pregnancies. Your judgement, Master?

The Greater Doom is due to manifest in three days, as indicated by both the Seers and your own dream analysis. You have described your premonition as, quote, worse than when the long-eared witch turned a whole world against me, end quote. Would you like synopsis of the prophetic symbolism reported by the seers?"

>>5021360
"Yes, please. I need all the details before I may cast judgment. How are relations with the people of Baem's Strike at the moment?"

>>5021383

"Of the Three Moons, Goodstone ranks second in loyalty, Master. Baem's Strike does not greatly deviate from that profile. Complaints center around taxation and quotas, both of which have been increased this year in order to prepare the Army of Light for the Great Doom. There have been, as yet, no organized demonstrations or violence."

nuts, g2g; well done OP

>>5021453
"Hmm. Perhaps it may be best if we find an alibi for the slaughter of these two women. Are there any crimes we may accuse them of great enough so none suspect the true purpose of their deaths? We don't want to turn a friend into an enemy, after all."

>>5021453

The maidservant rinses scented lather from you with cool water, then rises, bows, and backs out of the room. As you watch her leave, you notice a rack of garments by the door, in several styles, all prominently featuring the sign Cancer.

>>5021483

"Armed Rebellion or unlicensed Warpcraft would justify the destruction of the entire town, which would have the additional effect of terminating any pregnancies we are unaware of; reporting reproductive activity is not mandatory on Goodstone. Lesser crimes such as murder or sedition would justify the execution of individuals."

>>5021330
(Major decision. Confirm?)

>>5021583
"Warpcraft it is then. Better safe than sorry, eh?"

And sure why not, tell Node. And I too must retire. I think I might be the only one left. Still we can continue it later, it was fun.

>>5021614

(Right, then, pausing at the moment of confession. I'll be on most of the evening; I'll keep an eye on this thread in case anyone cares to continue.)

>>5021646

I would, but I don't feel well simply taking on where others left.

Let me read it more closely, and I'll get into it. You'll see, you won't be able to tell the difference.

Cool story bro. Kinda 40k but not. I dig it.

I hope a continuation happens worthy of how great it started.

(Next thread Monday night.)

>>5021898
Shit, I won't be around Monday night and I've missed the majority of this thread already. Curse you Leibowitz! Also, I do hope this does not develop into 40k; I prefer more human-centered sci-fi.