Is it on a grassy knoll?

Bomb the site from orbit, I ,aint getting near that accursed thing.

>>5001492
Your luck is incredible. It is not.

I CAST CHARM MONSTER.

I FIRE AN ARROW AT IT

I slowly slip my hand down to the hilt of my weapon. I feel woozy as the memories of slaughter overcome my thoughts, but I cannot take the time to close my eyes or clear my head lest the beast escape my clear line of vision. With one thunderous roar I charge towards the gazebo, unsling my +5 Sledgehammer of Gazebo-Destroying. My scream is the scream of the martyr, and I can but hope my death will not be in vain.

>>5001496
Whoops, that should be an apostrophe not a comma.

>>5001513
It doesn't respond. It's a gazebo.
>>5001514
There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.

>>5001532
WHAT THE FUCK MAN, THAT WAS A PLUS 3 ARROW!

Is this that old joke where you say "I ATTACK THE GAZEBO"

"What why would you attack the gazebo?!"

"because its a monster duh"

"no its a gazebo..."

"Quit playing around!"

Fuck no, I'm not touching that thing

I use Steal

>>5001564
You got splinters in your hand as a result.

>>5001542
You might be better suited using an axe or fire of some kind.

FLEE!

>>5001479
I command my Sphere of Annihilation to destroy it, and pray that the explosion doesn't get me.

I USE THUNDAGA

>>5001591
I light a plus 3 arrow on fire, then fire it at the gazebo.

I kill you guys and hope to curry favour with the mighty gazebo.

I roll a local knowledge check to find out more about the gazebo.

I cast that combination Blast/Light elemental effect indirect combat spell at it, overcasting to my max magic of 20, gutting a nearby bystander to reduce the DV by 9 and hoping the 14 dice I have for drain reskeep me alive.

ROLL A LORE CHECK

I enter the Gazebo, lay a blanket down and take a nap.

>>5001719
YOU FOOL! YOU'LL BE DIGESTED!

Fuck man, I'm not getting anywhere near that gay's bow. I'm going back to the tavern.

>5001479
HOW MANY GAZEBOS DO YOU SHEMALES NEED?

AH HAH! I came prepared this time. I spent several feats making my fire-mage capable with his battle axe!
I shall make short work of this beast!

I fire my flamethrower at the gazebo.

>>5001758

Nice reference very obscure

>>5001779
The Gazebo eats you and you die.

>>5001758

They're a package deal with the dental plan.

>>5001848
dental plan... THAT'S IT! I ATTACK THE GAZEEBO'S BRACES!

DEPLOY CALTROPS

Hey, is it a giant type?

I make love to the gazebo. Tenderly.

>>5001874
It's a Gazebo.

I wonder if a mimic could ever mimic a gazebo. That would be funny...

>>5001910
brb, secret meeting with DM

>>5001894
I think I remember it being listed with the Ranger's giant class list in Unearthed Arcana. It's from the Fiend Folio right?

>>5001921
It's a Gazebo.

rough cut, for anyone who isn't in the know

I GRAPPLE THE GAZEBO

I cast detect evil, prepare for smiting

Hey, DM? I'm going OOC for a sec: What's a Gazebo?

>>5001931
Is this some weird monster from White Dwarf or Judge's Guild?

>>5001968

The bane of Paladins everywhere.

>>5002007
Uhh... It's a Gazebo.

>>5001479

I attack it!!! Quick before it sees me!

I cast detect alignment on the gazebo and have the thief check for Kobold traps.

Old meme predates the internet.

>>5002089
There are no Kobold traps on the Gazebo.

(DM note: 1,000 Goblin traps go undetected.)

>>5002068
I see now. You're upset that I killed King Snurre in one hit, so you had to make up some monster to kill me.
Luckily, I can teleport back. HA!

>>5002116
FUCK. If only we had a ranger with a racial bonus vs goblins and or goblin/traps

I cast flare

I cast implosion at the gazebo.

I get another gazebo for the Gazebo.

>>5001479
I place an immovable rod on the floor of the gazebo

>>5002119
Okay, you know what? Fine. The Gazebo teleports beside you, eats you and then goes and fucks your mother. She gives birth to a Gazebo-spawn child who grows up to be the Antichrist and using the power of the Head of Vecna to destroy the world. GAME OVER.

I cast magic missile.

>>5002187

*CLANG*

I use animal husbandry to defeat the gazeebo.

I cast "summon bigger fish"

>>5002141
Doesn't work. I already checked. >>5001921
>>5002200
It fucking teleports too? Ah fuck this shit.

>>5002208
What the fuck was that?

>>5002208
that's not how it works, you're doing it wron-

*CLANG*

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

>>5001479
I cast "Film Decoy" on Laura's cousin.

>>5002284
You idiots, that's not where you put that ro-

*CLANG*

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

>>5002200
How would that even wor-

*CLANG*
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??

I build a gazebo out of immovable rods. It's time to take this to the next level.

I cast disintegrate ON THAT DAMNABLE CLANGING IMMOVABLE ROD!!

>>5002335

>>5002335
I...uh, cast...Bloody Path on the gazebo made of immovable rods?

The Immovable Rod Gazeebo is now my patron deity. (and stolen as next years april fools encounter monster)

Someone archive this thread

>>5002366
Would that be DURR *CLANG* or DURR *CLANG* *CLANG* *CLANG*...

>>5002388
Whatever ends in
WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?

>>5002335
I attempt to imbue the Immovable Rod Gazebo with construct sentience then use a dark and arcane ritual to give it free will to roam the earth and spread ruin.

>>5002445
>roam the earth
>immovable rod

>>5002445

and thus the best post-apocalyptic D&D game ever made began....

>>5002388
Not even the gods know.

>>5002457
immovable wouldn't necessarily mean immobile

>>5002445
You're getting a visit from the Inevitables

>>5002488
Heeheeheehee.

Do I get to finish my construct first?

>>5002501
Did they get to finish building the Tower of Babel?

>>5002488

A challenger appears.

inevitables.jpeg

>>5002477
immovable
1: incapable of being moved

immobile
1: incapable of being moved

>>5002501
Sure, just brace yourself for an ironic twist of fate

>>5002460
I would so play this RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

(caps for em-fa-sis bitches)

>>5002579

immovable:
nothing else can move it

immobile:
it cant move itself

thats how i saw it anyways

>>5002585
Well please do go on; I'm biting my lip in suspense here.

>>5002568
Inevitables VS Devastators
Is the Inevitable's victory inevitable, or will they be devastated by the devastators?

>>5002599
Same here. Besides, the so called immovable rods get carried around rather a lot to be immobile now dont they?

>>5001479

I lend the man wearing robot pants who fell from the sky my mom's car.

>>5002627
lolwut?

>>5002649

>>5002714
Dammit! I thought I had that show scoured from my memory.

Damn you 4chan!!!!

>>5002600
As soon as you finish the incantations to animate the immovable rod gazebo, a bright flash of light and a loud *CLANG* overwhelms your senses.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?? you ask when you come to, finding yourself pinned under the gazebo's weather vane. A golden, clockwork humanoid stands above you in a pose of disapproval.

"It was inevitable that attempting to violate the natural law of the universe would draw our attention. It was a simple matter to destroy your recipe and replace it with that of a golem of our own design."

With a metallic groan, the gazebo shifts its entire weight so it is standing above you. The golden Inevitable presses a small button on the side of the golem and it gives a shudder into lifelessness. Your last thoughts as the weight of the building come crashing down are "I was wondering why the instructions had me install that button"

>>5002736
I am a dragon.
And as the gazebo settles over me I try my damndest to consummate a half gazebo abomination unto the world.

If you build a gazebo monster out of Immovable Rods and manage to make it speak, couldn't it activate and deactivate these rods itself?

>>5002774
Dont most golems and constructs cease to be their original material and become "golemstuff" upon completion of the ritual anyway?

>>5002770
Mid-coitus, the Lady of Pain appears and mazes you (and not the gazebo) As you update your journal, rocks fall, everybody dies.

>>5002836
First, you railroad my ranger to death, and now you do it to someone else.

This is the worst campaign ever.

A little vocabulary can be a dangerous thing.

>>5002870
*rimshot*

>>5002855
A now heartbroken Gazebo Golem grieves for your death with what little fading sentience it has left. A chaos god has watched the entire event with great interest and gotten himself involved. Nine months later, a hatch pops open and a Half-Tarrasque Gazebo of Immovable Rods is born. Your new party discovers the infant aberration and must decide what to do with it.

>>5002912
I suggest to the party that we feed it to the Gelatinous Hypercube and watch the ensuing fun whilst eating popcorn in our reclining thrones.

>>5002611
>>5002599
I understand that is what he was going for, but I actually pulled both of those definitions straight out of the dictionary.
I think you have to activate the immovable rods immobility.

>>5002912
I draw my bow and fire an arrow at it.

>>5002946
Its a half-tarrasque gazebo made of immovable rods with an arrow in it. It starts to cry before eating the arrow.

>>5002929
OHGOD WHATAMISEEING IDONTEVEN

>>5002968
His made up monster wasn't enough, and now he has a tarrasque crossbreed with it.

>>5002977

SCIENCE!

I so want to watch this go on until something epic happens (well more epic) but I have to sleep.

Here's hoping this thread still lives when I wake up tomorrow afternoon.

I'm not OP by the by, just a passing fan of all things fucked up enough to steal for my own campaign.

Thank you /tg/ THIS >>5002335 amused me.

>>5003070
It seems like the natural expension. ITT: Memetic mutation.

I can't believe this hasn't been archived yet.

>>5003070
Not OP either (I was the guy who introduced >>5002187 among other things)
Also, >thread archived

Question, what is gazebo?

>>5003106
It's some fucking monster the DM made up. It can teleport and kill you without a saving throw, attack roll, or damage roll.

>>5003130

....I dig it.

>>5003100
Not OP either. I posted
>>5002335
And played along with Unholy as DM for a while until some other Anon took over. Glad to see this archived, only the second thread I've contributed to that was archived on /tg/.

>>5003172
Well, thanks to both you and the other anon. It was fun.

i use some old dwarven liqour (being an old dwarf myself) to make a molotov coctail. the gazeebo will burn!!!