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  • File :1244963441.png-(41 KB, 600x400, stories.png)
    41 KB Dorf Quest LV Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)03:10 No.4873858  
    Previous Thread: >>4871936

    >I'm guessing Glittergold was even weaker than Poseidon?
    "Those two would be pretty on par in strength, yes. There is actually a funny story about Glittergold's path to divinity. The god before him was some lady named Oona. Glittergold worked his way up as her high priest, and eventually became her manservant. He poisoned her tea every day for a year, before challenging her to a God Challenge on her deathbed. Very sportsmanlike of him."

    >Has Xom ever taken anything seriously?
    "Yes. This planet used to have 3 moons, and I will leave it at that."

    >Is it possible to have more than one godhood?
    "Not only is it possible to have more than one, its also possible to fragment your godhood. The god of Luck is just a fragment of Xom's godhood of Chaos. I am uncertain whether or not Xom made Nemelex's predecessor on purpose or not."

    "Also, following that line of thought, it takes a long time to properly use your Divinity. At least a decade. The best time to take out a god is before they have adjusted to their new powers, which is what makes the turnaround rate so damn high in the first place."
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:13 No.4873899
    How long have Heracles and Moradin had their divinity?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:14 No.4873907
    Poison worked on a god? She must've been pretty week to start with.
    >> Rubric Marine !5YmRrjC64A 06/14/09(Sun)03:15 No.4873911

    >pretty week
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:16 No.4873921
    Yes, she was pretty for a whole week.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:16 No.4873922
    So the reason we think of Moradin as the god of Dorfs, is that he was a dorf before becoming a god. It all makes sense now.
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/14/09(Sun)03:17 No.4873934
    So our EPIC GOD DUEL was against a scrub?


    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:17 No.4873936
    Huh, so I guess gods could trade aspects if they wanted to. Could be handy if we got a domain that kinda sucked.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:18 No.4873940
    Well, we did make Satan into a god.

    ...Of course, that didn't work out so well either...
    >> Rubric Marine !5YmRrjC64A 06/14/09(Sun)03:18 No.4873941

    She was pretty to anyone for a whole week? That's a nice power.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:18 No.4873942
    Oh the other hand, it makes killing Glittergold even more satisfying. Killing a woman with poison is offensive to our dorfen pride.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:19 No.4873951
    How the hell does this guy know all this anyway?
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)03:20 No.4873956
    He can manipulate time.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:20 No.4873960

    >The best time to take out a god is before they have adjusted to their new powers.

    Satan. Doesn't matter if it's the new or the old one. I'd say both. They are the new Gods in the neighbourhood , AKA, our next target.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:21 No.4873963
    Is there a god of time and is he it?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:21 No.4873970
    That would help, but I don't really see how that could point to him knowing apparently everything about the affairs of the gods.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:22 No.4873974
    He's probably a god himself. If I had to guess one, Fate.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:22 No.4873978
    We can't take Satan's godhood. We already proved that we're incompatible with the Godhood of Fae. So killing Satan wouldn't do much...
    >> Inquisitor Angricus !IT5VxStGLw 06/14/09(Sun)03:22 No.4873979
    Maybe he has really big ears?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)03:23 No.4873984
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    >How long have Moradin and Heracles been gods?
    "Moradin has had his divinity for around 50 years now. Heracles obtained his divinity 6 years ago."

    >Poison worked on a god?
    "I did mention the part about it taking an entire year, did I not? It was not a weak poison. Also, Oona was a fae. They are not known for their constitution."

    >How do you know all this?
    "Because I am Rary, the ultimate wizard. I know everything that is, was, and will be, and I am not telling you anything in that last category."
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:23 No.4873988
    We've met Fate and this guy isn't him, unless he's in disguise.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:23 No.4873989
    Just... remind me again, why are we killing gods?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:23 No.4873992
    It's already been proven that we're incompatible with his godhood.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)03:23 No.4873994
    Ask why Fate is missing an eye.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:25 No.4874006
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    So basically, you're a rip-off of this guy?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:25 No.4874007
    We're the BBEG. Why should we not be trying to gain Godhood?
    >> Inquisitor Angricus !IT5VxStGLw 06/14/09(Sun)03:25 No.4874008
    Why the fuck not?

    What kind of a name is Rary?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:25 No.4874011
    Sounds like Gnome is strongly hinting we should take on Heracles.

    Well fuck that. We won't settle on second best. We will go straight for Moradin!
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:25 No.4874012
    why AREN'T we killing gods?

    really, it's how beardbeard works.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:26 No.4874018
    Who's that behind us?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:26 No.4874020

    Oh shi-

    It's Mah-mee
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:26 No.4874022
    5 toughness is pretty damn beefy for a faerie, Gnome.
    >> Inquisitor Angricus !IT5VxStGLw 06/14/09(Sun)03:27 No.4874023
    Why aren't we going for Xom?
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)03:27 No.4874024
    Not until we get boots of levitation, so we have an unfair advantage.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:27 No.4874027
    So Gnome, how about that whole burial thing? You promised us hilarious burial week ago!
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:27 No.4874030
    Weeee, wasting money on exposition.

    Who's the chick?

    Also, I forward we waste Heracles, and use added GODSTRENGTH + BEARDBEARDSTENGTH to get AWESOME POWAH.

    Ask Rary if this is viable.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:28 No.4874036
    Sound like Heracles is our best bet. We kill him, THEN Moradin.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:28 No.4874039
    To take their stuff. I mean, godhood.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:29 No.4874043
    Are you sane? We don't challenge Xom first because he's our friend, and second because we value our lives/sanity.
    >> Inquisitor Angricus !IT5VxStGLw 06/14/09(Sun)03:29 No.4874047
    Why do we value our sanity? And it's not like Xom thinks we're friends. I don't know if he thinks anyone is a friend.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:29 No.4874048
    because even beardbeard isn't that nuts
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:30 No.4874052
    ...Why is this guy helping us, anyway? I can understand why he would do exchanges for unique items of varying magicalness, but he can probably summon gold from nowhere.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:30 No.4874054
    Yes. Moradin beat the shit out of us, but Xom might just wipe the entire continent of the planet in some bizarre, yet devastating way.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:30 No.4874056

    Ask this, I'm curious.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:32 No.4874064
    That's actually a good idea, since he can't tremorsense flying dorfs.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)03:33 No.4874065
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    >Why is Fate missing an eye?
    "He's not missing it. He knows exactly where he put it, which is something even I do not know. I can tell you, however, that he took it out himself, and that wherever it is, it must be serving some sort of purpose."

    "No, Sarda had that weird twist back story thing in the end. Trust me, you have never met me before, and will only meet me one more time after this."
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:33 No.4874068
    If we challenged Xom, he'd probably just turn us into a mop or something lolrandom.
    >> Inquisitor Angricus !IT5VxStGLw 06/14/09(Sun)03:34 No.4874072
    Well, we just need chaos insurance.

    I wonder, is there anything we can get that can deflect chaotic chaos?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:35 No.4874074
    Who was the very first god?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:35 No.4874075
    Body of Yog.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:35 No.4874076

    >Summon gold from nowhere

    Every wizard worth his salt, and especially Rary, likely knows what impact that would eventually have on the economy.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:35 No.4874079
    We'll meet him again, that's essentially insurance.
    We can do whatever we want, and we'll live because we know we can't die before we meet him again!
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:35 No.4874080
    Is Mah-mee referring to Beardbeard or Rary?

    Maybe Rary is Cultist's estranged father?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:35 No.4874081
    Offer the greenskin chick some booze
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:35 No.4874082
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    Fate reminds me of somebody.

    Ask if he also spent some time crucified on a tree.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:36 No.4874087
    Well, he could teleport into a gold vault and take some.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)03:36 No.4874090
    He'd probably start off the fight by immobilizing us, conjuring a massive amount of malignant energy, hurl it at use, then have it turn into a banana at the last second.
    >> Inquisitor Angricus !IT5VxStGLw 06/14/09(Sun)03:36 No.4874091
    We could meet again as a mop.

    So we kill this Moradin guy, use the powers to kill Yog, jack his body, kill Xom, ascend to the lorandum of Chaos, and just start working our way through the pantheon until we're the only thing left.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:38 No.4874097
    We're probably racking up a hell of a bill, seems we'll be better off just giving him that sword anyways. Ask him whats special about it though, if anything.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:38 No.4874103
    Beardbeard is awfully inquisitive tonight.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:39 No.4874112

    he could be LYING
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)03:41 No.4874120
    Turn around and ask to the orc is referring too.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:41 No.4874130
    If that's Mah-mee, she knows we had sex with Cultist. Which probably means she was watching. Which both means that she probably knows who Beardbeard is AND is a pervert.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:42 No.4874132
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    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)03:44 No.4874149
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    >Who was the very first god?
    "Hmmmm.... lets say Fate was."

    "Now, your 7,200 gold is up. Thank you for the payment, and I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. Oh, and one last tip: Those eggs hatch in 47 minutes. Toodles!"
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:44 No.4874153
    >Why is Fate missing an eye?
    It's probably at the bottom of a well somewhere.
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/14/09(Sun)03:45 No.4874155
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    >> Inquisitor Angricus !IT5VxStGLw 06/14/09(Sun)03:45 No.4874158
    Let's say? That's not very certain. God damn.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:46 No.4874165
    Oh. SHIT. We didn't get drunk yet!
    Also, say Hi to Cultist. Ask her for healing.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:46 No.4874166
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:47 No.4874171

    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:47 No.4874173
    I believe our first objective should be to defeat Heracles. Now, I don't think we can beat him in a contest of strength. Especially not if he's like Berserker from FSN. So we need a plan, as un-Beardbeard like as that sounds.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:47 No.4874175
    We'd best hurry back to check on those eggs. If that lady wants to talk to us, she'd better keep up.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)03:48 No.4874187
    Sell hydra armor, buy boots of levitation.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)03:49 No.4874195
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    As Rary runs out the door, the bartender yells something about him not paying his bill.

    Some ork lady starts yelling at you about sex and babies and impregnation and something something. Her accent is a pain to decipher.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:51 No.4874211
    Tell her you used protection.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:52 No.4874212
         File :1244965930.png-(40 KB, 157x161, sviborg.png)
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    What can defeat sheet might?
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/14/09(Sun)03:52 No.4874215
    File deleted.

    This is what we must do.


    This is the only way we will achieve victory. We must have one mind.. one purpose.. one will. Till now we merely acted on random impulse. We get distracted from our path before it starts every time. We've been lucky to accomplish anything.

    This time, we can't stop.

    What do we REALLY want? Think long. Think hard. Once we have the answer we pursue it till the bitter end. Ignore all else. Let nothing stand in our way.

    No more distra

    Oh a penny!
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:53 No.4874221
    as I was saying, >>4874175
    it'd be a good time to take a tip from Rary and leg it. If that lady wants to get laid, she'll have to catch up.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:53 No.4874222
    He has plenty money. What reason does he have for not paying the bill?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:53 No.4874224
    Well, crap. We forgot to ask anything about Heracles specifically. Now we don't know what his strengths and weaknesses are.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:53 No.4874225
    Punch the lady if she gets spittle in your ale.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:54 No.4874232
    oh, THIIIIIIIS is what Aldwin's going to try to kill us for.


    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)03:54 No.4874233
    Tell her you have no idea what she's talking about
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:55 No.4874240
    The baby was retconned to be Aldwin's after we took it a bit too seriously.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:55 No.4874242

    Dunno about sheets, but...

    Berserker's problem was that his brain was like a damn locomotive. STAY OFF THE FUCKING TRACK, or you'll be here and there and all over in next tuesday.

    However, Berserker was fairly feebleminded. that, and he didn't care about pain, so using an enviro hazard (like lava. Again) might work.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:55 No.4874243
    >What can defeat sheet might?
    Sheer will. Hercules might win. We WILL win.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)03:57 No.4874252
    >What can defeat sheet might?

    We will use blanket power!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)03:59 No.4874262
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    He doesn't want to.

    You run for it. You have some baby spiders to feed, and Presley better be there already or there will be problems.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:00 No.4874268
    And when we get what we want, then what? We'll have nothing left to do.

    We could have asked Rary what Nemelex was so upset about.

    There's another opportunity missed.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:03 No.4874280
    We want what all dorf's want. To be drunk forever.

    To be drunk forever we must live forever. Hence, godhood. To be drunk during that time, we need a kingdom large enough to produce enough booze in a sufficent steady quantity to keep us drunk, and still support itself with food and defense so our eternal drunkness will never be interupted.

    We become a god, maybe take several gods out and take their gigs. Conquor kingdom(s). Have temples where offerings of booze can be delivered. Become drunk forever.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)04:03 No.4874285
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    Tall mountain is taaaaall. You make it up to the entrance to your cave, only to find...
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:04 No.4874290

    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:04 No.4874291
    Oh god the suspense is killing me!
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:06 No.4874299
    ...out it is a wrong mountain.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)04:06 No.4874300
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:08 No.4874316
    You better not fucking PAUSE SCREEN us.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)04:09 No.4874322
         File :1244966973.png-(36 KB, 600x400, 21.png)
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    ...Spider riders!
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:10 No.4874333
    They got huge really fast within minutes of birth. Elf blood is a miracle growth serum for spiders?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:11 No.4874334
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)04:11 No.4874338
    Ride them to buzzardloved.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:12 No.4874342
    Somehow this worries me.

    Status report on Presley and the kobolds. Were the elves enough to feed the baby spiders?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:13 No.4874345
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:13 No.4874350
    Ohyeah. Give Driblis his new sword before we forget.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:14 No.4874356
    We gave that to Rary, remember?
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)04:15 No.4874362
    No, we turned down his offer.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:15 No.4874364
    No we didn't, we didn't get sent back in time. We paid our gold for the info.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:16 No.4874368
    Oh, ok. Nevermind then, give him the sword.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:17 No.4874369
    I wish I had an appropriate image to respond to this, but unfortunately I can't find it at the moment.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)04:17 No.4874370
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    Turns out the elves were not nearly enough food for the spiders. Fortunately, Presley was there to hide the kobolds in shadows, so the spiders reverted to their normal strategy upon being born: Cannibalism. There are now 72 Giant Cave Spiders remaining, which is more than twice as many spiders as their are kobolds. Plenty of mounts for everyone, Driblis is happy to report. He seems mostly glad that he is not dead.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)04:19 No.4874377
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    Try this one.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:19 No.4874380
    Wait a moment. Why does Beardbeard still have his shadow leg? Didn't we trade it in for a wooden leg's reflection?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)04:21 No.4874387
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    Driblis gladly accepts your gift. The sword shines brightly in his hands, as if it were made for him.

    He promises not to cut any good guys with it.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:22 No.4874391
    >He promises not to cut any good guys with it.

    That...might be a problem.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:23 No.4874401
    Oh shit, Driblis is the hero of time.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:24 No.4874404
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    Lets take our kobold-spider cavalry and put it to some use!
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)04:24 No.4874405
    Why are all of Beardbeard's accomplishes neither evil or chaotic?
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)04:29 No.4874429
    Go to buzzardloved.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:29 No.4874436

    'Good' here meaning 'dude who treated me like I was more than walking experiance'.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:31 No.4874441
    Well in that case onward to Buzzardloved!
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:31 No.4874444
    Spider babies are most likely still hungry, we should find something for them the eat so they can grow big and strong.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)04:34 No.4874462
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    Your army in place, you decide to march upon Buzzardloved! It will be reclaimed!

    It is now evening. It is unfortunate Sunson will not see your victory, but your shadowstuff will not be destroyed by daylight. Onward!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)04:35 No.4874464
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    FFFFF forgot to save adding the shadowstuff.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)04:37 No.4874470
    First off, go to the magic shop and find something with levitation.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)04:38 No.4874483
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    ...Wait a second, that large dark mass in the distance is looking pretty ominous.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:41 No.4874494
    This doesn't look good. Proceed with a bit more cation. But just a bit.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:41 No.4874499
    Uh... Sin?
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)04:42 No.4874501
    Tell Presely to prepare some defense.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:43 No.4874509

    Spider shadow armor!
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:44 No.4874511
    Is that Garelf? Is it time for a showdown already?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:45 No.4874513
    Tell Presley to create a Shadow Army the whole time we're marching. We don't really care what of.
    They can be gnomes for all we care. As long as they march and fight when told to.
    Their main purpose will be cannon fodder.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:46 No.4874518
    Have we seen Driblis's capability card yet?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)04:46 No.4874519
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    Well, I'm sure whatever it is isn't going to get in the way of invading Buzzardloved.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:47 No.4874523
    I love his fucking throne and harem and goddamnit garrelf you sexy bastard
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:47 No.4874524

    Man, we taught Garrelf to be such a badass...
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:48 No.4874529

    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)04:49 No.4874534
    Ignore it, we have more important things to do.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:49 No.4874536
    There is nothing that is not awesome about this picture.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:49 No.4874538
    Oh man, I don't know who I should root for.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:49 No.4874540
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    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:50 No.4874542
    I really really don't think it's possible to ignore him.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:51 No.4874544
    huh. umbrellas.

    we should've thought of that.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:51 No.4874547
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:52 No.4874551
    We should go for Garrelf and ignore his army as much as possible. Maybe tell Driblis and Presley to distract the queen. Once we take down Garrelf I suspect his shadow army will vanish (or at least will be a bit confused as to what to do)
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)04:52 No.4874556
    Light a torch.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)04:53 No.4874560
    Actually, just light yourself on fire.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:53 No.4874564
    Ask Garrelf how things are going. Beardbeard likely still thinks we're friends with him.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:54 No.4874572

    Presley should armor up our legion, and Driblis should snickersnack some fucking shadows.

    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:54 No.4874576

    We put Garrelf as an enemy when we learned he helped destroy Sunbeard
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)04:55 No.4874579
         File :1244969702.png-(83 KB, 600x400, armor spiders.png)
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    Presley gets to work on manning up the spiders with some shadow armor.

    What did I promise to bury? I recall no such promise. The only promise I can recall offhand concerning dorf quest involves girls in their underwear that I swear I will get around to one of these days. REMIND ME WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE ON ABOUT.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:55 No.4874583
    Everyone. This.
    our only hope is to challenge Garrelf to a duel of sheer force of awesome.

    wait, that's terrible. he's much awesomer. hit him with an axe when he's not looking.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)04:56 No.4874588
    A funeral that involves a certain dead naga getting resurrected in the middle of it.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:56 No.4874589

    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:56 No.4874592
    >What did I promise to bury? I recall no such promise. The only promise I can recall offhand concerning dorf quest involves girls in their underwear that I swear I will get around to one of these days. REMIND ME WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE ON ABOUT.

    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)04:57 No.4874600
    Garelf killed that one naga on accident when the Illithid ate him, we wanted the humourous funeral where you bring him back right in the middle of it.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)05:02 No.4874644
    Throw oven door.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)05:04 No.4874666
         File :1244970273.png-(74 KB, 600x400, 27.png)
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    Ah, sorry. The first time burial was mentioned earlier in this thread, I went back and scoured last week's Dorf Quest and found nothing. THIS EXPLAINS WHY - it was two weeks ago. WELL, IT WILL START OUR EXTRA HAPPY FUN DOODLE TIME THEN.

    "'Sup, Garrelf?"
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:07 No.4874689
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:07 No.4874690
    Hey Satan! Want to make some Spider and Octopus Barrage?
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)05:07 No.4874691
    Get off your giant spider and light yourself on fire. The armor should protect you enough.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:07 No.4874692
    "Hey, let's go pillage the Mountainhomes. It'll be just like old times."
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:08 No.4874697
    Gnome you are such a magnificent bastard. What we have here is two opposing armies, with several awesome and sympathetic characters on both side - about to fight to death.

    I wish I could hate you for this, but I can't.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:09 No.4874704
    Ask Garrelf to join in invading Buzzardloved. We can stab him in the back later.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:10 No.4874715

    Beardbeard does not backstab friends.

    ...Unless he's completely shitfaced.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:14 No.4874735

    Not a friend. Killed sunbeard.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:14 No.4874736
    Well then too bad for Garrelf he's not FRIENDS WITH HIM ANYMORE! For fuck's sake people, Beardbeard is not THAT stupid! He has Garrelf on his hit list for a reason. He and his slut of a wife were going to abandon him in the shadow realm and Garrelf aided in killing the original Sunbeard. The bastard is going down! (and he will, because Beardbeard is still stronger than him)
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)05:14 No.4874740
         File :1244970893.png-(55 KB, 600x400, pause2.png)
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    "Sorry Beardbeard, I'm not here for pleasantries."

    "Well what are you here for?"

    "...You ripped off my arm and beat my wife half to death. I am here to repay the favor tenfold."

    "...Your wife looks fine to me, and you have a new arm. What seems to be the problem?"

    "Not everyone is like you Beardbeard. Not everyone can just walk away from something like that, and forget about it the next day. I am here for revenge, and I will have it."

    "...You sure you don't want to invade Buzzardloved with me? I have spiders, it'll be just like old times."

    "...Yes Beardbeard, I am sure I don't want to invade Buzzardloved with you."

    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:17 No.4874758

    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)05:17 No.4874763
    Did Garrelf go nuts or something?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:18 No.4874764

    Well, for when the combat does come, since Presley is a bard, he can probably muster a spell of light (based off D&D at least), so we can use that to take out a lot of those shadow beasts.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:18 No.4874777

    I have to agree with Gnome there. A battle of such epicness deserves its own session.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:19 No.4874780


    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:20 No.4874793

    In DorfQuest the sanity of the PCs is questionable, to say the least.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)05:21 No.4874799
         File :1244971285.png-(59 KB, 600x400, 1243143800994.png)
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    What happened to Xom's arm after it got deforested?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:22 No.4874807
    Remember those times back in >>3481394? We could go back to them. You know how drunken-insane-berserker stances are, i couldn't help it. Cmon, lets put this silly feud behind us for old times sake, or at least till buzzardloved is leveled.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)05:23 No.4874814
         File :1244971381.png-(27 KB, 600x400, good news.png)
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    Because it is 4am, and this next fight WILL take all night to orchestrate. I am not going to cut it short.

    You will give commands to Beardbeard with BB, and to Garrelf with GE. For example:

    BB: Use Deforestation!
    GE: Laugh because you have seen that move like twenty times, and you know how to dodge it. Then proceed to almost dodge it but not quite because you were too busy laughing.

    It is also important to mention that, due to next week's work schedule, you won't be waiting too long. This next Dorf Quest will be on Tuesday night, at 11pm Board time. Meaning it will be 4 days earlier than normal!

    >But Gnome, doesn't that mean that the next one will just be 4 days farther away than normal?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:23 No.4874822
    This is a Bro-fight, I think. Sorta like how if one bro wrongs another bro, the second bro gets to punch the first bro. Or, they just fight and get it all outta their system. Then they can go booze it up after all the bad blood is gone.

    If both parties are still alive after the fight, we should offer to go drinkin' with him.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:24 No.4874832

    Ya know, i suddenly stopped caring how this turns out. I just want beard and garelf to share 1 last drink.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:24 No.4874835
    >> Rubric Marine !5YmRrjC64A 06/14/09(Sun)05:25 No.4874839

    ...And to your right, you can see Gnome proving that he is the best tripfag on 4chan.
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)05:26 No.4874845
    This would work, but Arialla is a women, so she won't let it go.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:30 No.4874888
    Fuck! I cant believe i missed it! WE SHOULD HAVE ASKED RARY TO JOIN US FUUUUUCCCK!
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)05:31 No.4874900
    He wouldn't have joined us, he requires money for everything.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:32 No.4874901
    Yeah... More's the shame. Maybe they'd be able to have one last drink, then go separate ways and leave each other alone.

    Though... the epic events seem to make epic characters cross paths easily.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:33 No.4874916
    I have the feeling this won't be over until either Beardbeard or Garrelf is dead.

    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 06/14/09(Sun)05:34 No.4874924
    If Garrelf dies, we can just resurrect him.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:34 No.4874926
    I bet he would have accepted for the master sword or free food...
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:35 No.4874932
    Garelf is just being a bitch. Remember when we killed him with a long, agonizing death by ripping out his liver and he didn't even complain? What happened? We need to remind him of his place.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:36 No.4874945

    He even got to become a badass shadow-fae because we killed him.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:36 No.4874947
    They should fight and mortally wound each other. Then they go and drink until both of them die.
    >> Lololo I had to look up what the priest looked like Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)05:38 No.4874963
         File :1244972297.png-(28 KB, 600x400, jeevesdeath1.png)
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    And now... *ahem.*

    "We are here today to commemorate the passing of the proud Naga warrior, Adias."
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)05:41 No.4874982
         File :1244972465.png-(34 KB, 600x400, jeevesdeath2.png)
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    "He suffered a fatal blow, holding back the shadow creature's surprise assault on the city. He will not be forgo- what is that blasted sound?"
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:42 No.4874994

    Wait he has a name?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)05:43 No.4875010
         File :1244972621.png-(47 KB, 600x400, jeevesdeath3.png)
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    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:43 No.4875013
    Yes. His name is Jeeves.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:44 No.4875016
    Whatever. You will always be Jeeves for me.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)05:46 No.4875030
         File :1244972814.png-(47 KB, 600x400, jeevesdeath4.png)
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    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:47 No.4875036
    Moradin dammit Garrelf
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)05:50 No.4875051
         File :1244973010.png-(21 KB, 600x400, jeevesdeath5.png)
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    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:50 No.4875054
    If we have on out Dragon Armor, which is fireproof, we can just light ourselves on fire. That protects us from Garelf's shadows.
    We have negated the threat of Garelf.
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/14/09(Sun)05:51 No.4875058
    What an ungrateful jerk.

    First we make him full of awesome. Then we teach him how to BE awesome. Then when he over awesome's himself and gets sent back to shadow land, we go there and get him back to the real world.

    What a douche.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)05:52 No.4875067
         File :1244973143.png-(23 KB, 600x400, jeevesdeath6.png)
    23 KB
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:52 No.4875069
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:53 No.4875073
    Poor Jeeves. His naga friend, whatever her name was, also probably doesn't like this.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:53 No.4875077
    Well, technically, we were only indirectly responsible for getting him out of the shadow realm, the queen was more directly responsible.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:53 No.4875080
    How did the squids get so many umbrellas?

    Also what the hell does rary spend his coin on?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:54 No.4875085
    Because his wife threatened to kill us if we don't.

    And then she abandoned us in the Shadow Realm.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:55 No.4875090
    ... Isn't there a GOD who you can sacrifice money and magic items to for spells?
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/14/09(Sun)05:55 No.4875092
    We got him new.. wrist thingies!

    He'd never have left if we didn't give up all that damn gold.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)05:55 No.4875093
         File :1244973327.png-(23 KB, 600x400, jeevesdeath7.png)
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    "Alright, continue the ceremony."

    "But... but sir! Adias is still ali-"

    "CONTINUE. THE. CEREMONY. And his name is Jeeves."

    "...Yes sir. We are here today to commemorate the death of the proud naga warrior... Jeeves..."
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:56 No.4875101
         File :1244973377.gif-(189 KB, 320x240, applause.gif)
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    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:56 No.4875104
    And then she payed for that.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:57 No.4875110

    "We made you what you are! Without us, you would not be a king, you would be a meager Elf whose only distinction was having a beard!

    ...And now... You don't even have that anymore."
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)05:59 No.4875137

    I propose killing Garrelf and resurrect him as a pixie again (or as a more humilliating creature) as punismhment.
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/14/09(Sun)06:02 No.4875154
         File :1244973760.jpg-(153 KB, 850x1201, sample-916e22aab3b9362597d34ab(...).jpg)
    153 KB
    ...I approve.

    Picture related.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:04 No.4875166
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:04 No.4875168

    Just make him a hamster.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)06:14 No.4875233
         File :1244974476.png-(99 KB, 600x400, FUCK NO.png)
    99 KB
    "Awww, you would be so cute!"

    "There is no fucking way."
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:18 No.4875253
    His penis would be really small too, Arialla.
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/14/09(Sun)06:18 No.4875256


    We're commin' for ya.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:19 No.4875259
    I think we should summon Beardbeard's counterpart from an alternate reality: famous human ranger Sir Mustach O'Sideburn!
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/14/09(Sun)06:19 No.4875265
    The picture I posted wasn't of a male.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:20 No.4875271

    I have a request, when you are doing the girls in underwear set sort of thing, make sure you have one of Xanatos.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:20 No.4875278

    Vaginal Spelunking.

    That is all.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:25 No.4875299
         File :1244975151.gif-(19 KB, 750x750, deathbeckons.gif)
    19 KB

    Also I drew my own version because I thought it would be funny.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)06:32 No.4875334
         File :1244975542.png-(48 KB, 600x400, Xanatos.png)
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    Of all the random people in Dorf Quest, I want to know how the hell Xanatos got a fan interested in seeing her naked. Ah well, with this picture I am sure that number has just increased.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:33 No.4875340

    That is awesome, thank you.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:36 No.4875350
    She's a girl, that's enough reason for most of us.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)06:38 No.4875354
         File :1244975909.png-(37 KB, 600x400, Poseidon.png)
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    But no one wants any of Poseidon, and she's a girl.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:38 No.4875355
    Lolth in underwear, for the lulz. It'd be more than she usually wears. Either that or wondering just what the heck they are.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:40 No.4875369

    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:41 No.4875376

    How about Presley asking her to put them on for decency's sake, with her being horribly confused.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)06:45 No.4875387
         File :1244976304.png-(47 KB, 600x400, Lolth.png)
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    Oh you people.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)06:47 No.4875398
         File :1244976450.png-(48 KB, 600x400, Lolth.png)
    48 KB
    Slight fixes. Spider backsides should be easy to draw - they're just a big egg shaped thing - but they always seem to turn out looking weird.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:47 No.4875400
    Oh, Gnome, you are just too awesome for words.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:47 No.4875401

    Haha, oh man that's awesome. I suppose while we are on the subject you could do pregnant Cultist and Mah-mee together or the ashes of the British vampire with underwear sitting on top
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)06:51 No.4875416
         File :1244976664.png-(36 KB, 600x400, ride that spider, cowgirl.png)
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    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:51 No.4875419

    Aw, she got her pet spider.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:53 No.4875430
    Out of curiosity, what kind of horrible psychological torture does Garrelf put Krann through on a day-to-day basis?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:55 No.4875440
    The whole thing with Jeeves was nothing but yet another devious plan to break her mind.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)06:56 No.4875450
         File :1244976990.png-(49 KB, 600x400, British.png)
    49 KB
    Well only her upper half was ever dissolved.

    The awkward pools with dots in them are supposed to be dust piles, but my tablet doesn't want to detect light taps. My apologies for the super thick dust grains.

    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:57 No.4875457

    So did Garrelf force all of the naga to bury one of their own alive for his amusement? Man, Garrelf is an evil badass.
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/14/09(Sun)06:58 No.4875466

    Beardbeard as a lingerie model.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)06:59 No.4875474
    I'd spread out those ashes, if you know what I mean.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)07:00 No.4875481
         File :1244977232.png-(41 KB, 400x600, I normally wear less than this.png)
    41 KB
    I did Cultist already; she was the first one I did. Well, in response to the suggestion - Kav was the first underwear girl. Repostan.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)07:01 No.4875485

    I think we need to eventually get all of the underwear pictures put together somewhere/how starting with the main cast and moving down to these.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)07:11 No.4875543
         File :1244977878.png-(63 KB, 600x400, Mah-mee.png)
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    Well then, adding that section to the 1d4chan article on Dorf Quest.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)07:13 No.4875564
    This came out of nowhere.
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)07:20 No.4875598

    Hmm, I think I've run out of obscure females for now, but this is hilarious. How about a little Coco-Furious George UndeadOTP?
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)07:22 No.4875610
    Xom in underwear.

    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)07:31 No.4875668
         File :1244979100.jpg-(18 KB, 320x375, PROMOTIONS.jpg)
    18 KB
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/14/09(Sun)07:34 No.4875686
         File :1244979250.png-(28 KB, 600x400, Xomfurry.png)
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    And now I am going to go take a nap. For your underwear and fancy suit needs: http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Dorf_Quest#Underwear.2FDapper_Gallery
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)07:37 No.4875709
         File :1244979438.gif-(44 KB, 750x750, xanatos.gif)
    44 KB

    Thanks Gnome!
    >> Anonymous 06/14/09(Sun)07:42 No.4875752
    If Xom doesn't find that hilarious, I sure do.

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