Two all the way! DRINK THAT SHIT!

2

head pounding is all sorts of great

also, stickin around for a great game

2

DRINK DRINK DRINK

Very well, we drank the Eight Known Drinks. Now it is time to select our earliest famous event.

3's likely the best choice. Earth mother's better for general survival. But 2, because it's more funny.

1

Crush the emperor!

2. Fuck those other faggot choices! Who wants dancing or pottery when you can hunt fucking sky bears?

2.

WE SHALL HUNT SKY BEARS

Saw this thread, remembered there was a Mac version, rejoiced.

Remember to start a war on the ducks.

SUFFER NOT A FURRY TO LIVE.

I say 1, put out the Sun

Two votes for 1, two votes for 2. Next one's the tie-breaker.

>>4864726
>>4864673
Count again. 2 wins.

>>4864726
Two! We can't have bears fagging up our skies!

>>4864709
That's good news, Anonymous, and I thank you. Off to buy me a MacBook Pro when I leave work, and I think I might just play the SHIT out of this game. I love vidyas that defy genre.

Is this game worth downloading?

As you wish. We hunted the fuck out of the Sky Bear.

Did we make people thralls or did we take them in as kinsmen?

THRALLS

>>4864754
I would argue that more kinsmen is best.
Thralls can be taken in battle; kinsmen must be earned.

ooooo

I'm torn between what is right and what is fun

>>4864754
Number 2, adopted family.
It will be helpful later in the game.

>>4864780
I second this motion.

In a rare moment of kindness, /tg/ has decided that they treated the Nalda Bin like their own.

Now, who is our arch enemy?

>>4864809
1. BOZTAKANG, THE TROLL LORD.

TROLLS ARE A THREAT TO ALL MANKIND

>>4864809
>Chinkis Mor, the Elf warlord
FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Kill them! Kill those treehugging bastards!

2

FUCKING FURRIES!

This being /tg/ there really isn't any other choice than number 3.

>>4864809
UKKAR GRA. His Beastmen are numerous and fierce, and will doubtless plague our clan again. It would be good to have struck a blow against them in the past, to know how they might be laid low again.

ELFS FOR FUCKS SAKE. DEATH TO POINTY EARED BASTARDS!!!

>>4864842
This is the only real choice here.

/tg/'s hatred of elves has gotten the best of them. The pointy-eared assholes are our sworn enemies.

Now, is our clan a War Clan, Peace Clan or Balanced?

I'd say War or Balanced...
Let's say balanced!!!

>>4864866
Balanced.

balance

balance is good for war

Alright. We're Balanced.

Now, which God did we awaken first?

>>4864753
Does this answer your question?

>>4864912
Uralda. I CAN HAS CHEEZEBURGER PLEEZE

>>4864914
Yes. Yes it does.

>>4864912
Urox has a good balance of combat and farming abilities.

>>4864914

unfortunately I don't see maran gor up there

Can I get a link for this?

i can has torrents?

Yeah I'm gonna have to go with Uralda as well

URALDA

Uralda the Cow Mother it is.

How does /tg/ feel about dragons?

There are some rapidshits of it up and a torrent on TPB, but the torrent is slow as fuck. I'd stick with the RS

Slay the dragons, cause they have pointy teeth and stuff.

>>4864976
Hmm.... This sounds like a tarp... NUMBER 4!

We're men of learning so positive

Positive.

Ok, so /tg/ believed the dragons and wanted to share their knowledge. It's not like anything could go wrong, right? Right?

And now it's time to decide how much land our clan claimed once we returned to Dragon Pass.

>>4865018

Goddamn scaley bastards! We'll get them for this!

>>4865035
HUGE LAND
THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH LAND

>>4865018
This is what you get for not slaying them.

>>4865035
Number 3, 4's too big and 2's not enough.

>>4865035

2. It'll avoid pissing people off by being greedy, and it's not like we can't kill everyone and take their land if we need more.

>>4865035
Well she's got huge... tracks of land.

I want fucking dinosaur knights but these faggots in my ring keep whining about fucking carls.

Where do the dinosaurs roam? And are there only triceratops?

I want utahraptors and tyrannosaurs.

>>4865035
I say 2 or 3. Probably 3. We need land, but we don't want to piss off our neighbours too much.

I feel that in the game we should ally ourselves with the duck people. They prove vital allies later on, despite being furries.

>>4865060
But father, I don't want to marry her. I just want to... sing!

>>4865061
Carls are one of the most important things for the clan. You can never have enough. And as far as dinosaurs go, you'll get them some day naturally. :O

>>4865079
Exactly. At first, I force them to pay tribute of 50 foods a year. Later, I keep trying to trade with them. Every year they begin to like me more. Within time, we will be allies.

/tg/ has chosen to get a lot more than we need. Nothing wrong with being ambitious.

And now it's time to pick a name for our clan and begin playing.

>>4865095
Fuck you. I WANT THEM NOW!

FEAR MY TYRANNOSAUR HORDES! WHO NEEDS TRIBES WHEN MY BEASTS OF WAR EAT ALL THE OTHER TRIBES!

inb4 there are only triceratops.

>>4865106
Forgot my image.

>>4865113
There are only triceratops.

>>4865106
How's about /teegee/? Simple and effective.

>>4865142
I second this.

>>4865118
Gary Oak

>>4865132
My inner carnivore is displeased. But the thunderers of the Earth will suffice.

>>4865163
Fuck you, we don't need no fucking /b/tarded meme as our name. I vote teegee!

Our clan's name is now teegee.

Time to begin playing. Does anyone have any wishes, or should I just slog through the everyday stuff until an event occurs?

>>4865187
I'm fine with it. But if I see those fucking ducks one more time...!

EXPLORATION MISSION
to mount C-somethingoranother

>>4865187
>Loricon
>r/l
>Lolicon

>>4865224
FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Alright, this is it /tg/. How do we let our trickster handle the wyrm?

>>4865187
Yes.
NO FUCKING WOMEN AS RINGLEADERS.
Get a young male on there, so he has plenty of time to lead on. Make sure there's still a young male that's strong enough to do some heroic quests, so we don't lose a ringleader if he fails.

>>4865269
Tell another clan
let the fuckers be burned

>>4865228
>Loricon
>r/l
>Rolicon

>>4865269
FUCK YEAH GAMBLE WITH THAT MOTHERFUCKER!

>>4865286
LOOOOORIIIIIIIICOOOOOON!

>>4865305
Noooo, our precious jewgolds!

>>4865305

Fuck tricksters, they're nothing but trouble.

>>4865305

Dammit Loricon.

Okay, so you can't see the entire dialogue here, but the jist of it is that the daughter of one of our Weaponthanes tried to defect to the Tedanling clan, presumably because she thought we were a bunch of sissies, but was brought back by this guy Korlmhy.

What should we do now?

>>4865305
LORICON IS FIRED FROM BEING IN CHARGE

>>4865340
Don't listen to Loricon! He's proven himself to be less than trustworthy.

>>4865340

We are never listening to you again, Loricon.

Three.

>>4865340

1. If the bitch wants to leave the other clan can have her weak ass.

>>4865340
Number three, then thank the other clan if you can.

>>4865348
>>4865349
>>4865346
Fuck Loriconmind.

We will scold the ungrateful bitch.

Seems not listening to Loricon was a wise strategy.

>>4865365
Nice way to loose a future weaponthane.

>>4865371

Bitch has to be shown her place.

Let's do some mysteries! We need to learn new rituals!

So this priestess wants to sell us a magic oven. Loricon says "fuck her, we might get an offer for an awesome weapon in like a couple of decades or so". That guy is really starting to piss me off.

What do you think?

>>4865394
Depends. The oven will boost our food output, but not by that much. If we don't need more food politely decline her offer and make sure she's treated well. Otherwise go for something around 40 cows and dicker.

>>4865394

One. I ain't paying more than forty cows for some oven that ain't even that good.

It's good for us in the long run though. So fuck Loricon. Let's see if she'll give us the oven for cheap.

>>4865394
2. Might get it cheap, might not. Treasures can always be sold later.

One it is.

What the fuck? We're like the worst clan ever when it comes to money. Must be all those 40k minis that ruined our business sense.

>>4865381
Any specific rituals you're interested in?

Pic related, Loricon has an opinion.

>>4865428
68 cows worth of goods? Fucking hell. Do we have anyone who is good at bargaining on the ring?

>>4865452
Ferena is Very Good at bargaining. Other than that, it's looking kind of bleak on that front.

We should definetly build a shrine to Vinga, shieldmaidens are pretty hot.

I'm reading a FAQ, and the FAQ mentions a "cheat save file" made with a trainer.

Anyone know more about this? I want to try out some tactics, but you know... lol random.

>>4865447
Loricon has a point here. Make sure we have a shrine to Humakt dedicated to one decent effect. Battle Luck is generally a good idea.

>>4865461
On a related note, why the fuck is this magnificent bastard not on the ring? He's like the goddamn Batman or something!

>>4865480
Fucking hell, get him on the ring right now. He's also prime Heroquest material.

>>4865480
Fire that shituseless Loricon motherfucker and bring him on board!

We have zombies... Just great!

How do we handle the living dead?

>>4865496

2nded

>>4865507
Make sure you do something. We have under 20 weaponthanes and many, many cows so a sacrifice would be best. At least 15 cows. The undead are not to be trifled with and these men do their job well.

>>4865507
Send warriors , or at least sacrifice to humakt. He has special magic against undead due to his mastery of the Death rune(sword).

>>4865496
>>4865508
Believe it or not, but Loricon is actually quite useful. He's an expert at customs and having a trickster on the ring is always entertaining at the very least.

>>4865507
With fire and steel, great Thane. With fire and steel.

>>4865507

send warriors. zombies is everyones business

>>4865524
True, but don't even try sending him off by himself on any mission. He'll shirk his duty and have to be brought back at spearpoint.

Weaponthanes sent.

Our temple to Humakt finished, we're visited by a bunch of furry priests. True to form, Loricon wants them to GTFO.

>>4865480
Jesus tits, I told you this was first priority. We could have saved ourselves a big debt if woman bitch ringleader or Loricon was swapped with him.

>>4865568
Loricon is /b/!

Anyway, owe them a favor.

>>4865568

2 or 5.

Owe them a favour, should add some risk / fun later on.

>>4865588

Show them the kittens, sometimes they do the work for free if they are impressed by them.

>>4865568
Try #2 first, if it fails then we can spare a few goods. We're not in any position to offer magic and favours are hard to quantify until they're called upon.

>>4865568
On a related note, I'm thinking of replacing Ernaldness. Despite being competent within her field, so far all of her advice has sounded like it came from Grandpa Simpson, which doesn't exactly inspire confidence. I'm torn between my distrust for the old bag and my amusement at her inane old person rambling. We already have Loricon for useless advice.

>>4865568
Give them some of our clan magic. We've got some extra for shit like this.

>Offer them alynx kittens
Apparently, we have cursed kitties. Yinkin is not amused.

>>4865619
The ring only has 2 women on it. Reducing it further will definitely impair fertility and reduce the number of children born each year. Ideally it should be 4 men/3 women or vice versa.

>>4865634
Shit happens. Give them some goods or cows. 10 should do, 15 if you want to ensure their favour.

>>4865636
Most of my clan rings have NO women in them, just dicks whose advice is pretty much always "THROW A FEAST" and "KILL 'EM ALL!"

>We'll owe you a favor.
And now we're indebted to them. Who the fuck let an alynx called Doubleshadow the Worthless breed?

>>4865653
Clearly you need people who speak Yinkintongue about so you can ask the cats who their parents are.

Year one finished. Everything went pretty well, considering we were cheated by a wyrm, scammed by a priestess, had to fight off the undead and deal with cursed alynxes.

What pisses me off is that we have a fucking food shortage, despite paying through our nose for a magic oven that increases food production!

Why do we have a Trickster on the Ring at all? They usually bring misfortune.
And do we have an issaries on the ring for or trade?

>>4865688
You are playing KODP. That means everyone starves all the time.

>>4865688
And there will be a bad harvest this year. Shit just keeps improving. Looks like we'll have to raid, trade or beg for food.

>>4865688
Screw the food shortage, we're down 11 horses. Food can be made by getting rid of soldiers. Horses can't be easily made and are needed to replace weaponthanes.

Did you even allot any magic to crops last year? Add another crop magic point over last year so we don't all starve to death.

Is it just the one idiot who can't play the game complaining about starving all the time or are people really having problems with this?

>>4865688
>>4865708
Beg for food, build shrines to crop-boosting gods. Elmal has the Sun blessing, I believe.

>>4865721
I will admit that most of the starving complaints are this one idiot. I do not understand the game.

>>4865721
I had a year with starvation problems, but it just kicked my production into high gear. It can sneak up on you, but it's not too hard to avoid.

Earthshakers CHEARG!

>>4865721
Personally, I've never had a tribe starve unless I get ridiculously unfortunate. Like, shitty harvest for two years running unfortunate.

>>4865731
I have food issues as well, but I haven't played much or for that long. Also, putting 2 magic in crops basically guarantees a food surplus.

Can't go wrong dedicating a few shrines to some crop rituals. Personally, I like pissing off a neighbour or two and firing up Maran Gor.

The food shortage is being handled by trained clergymen performing rituals to the gods.

Meanwhile, a thrall from the Vanstali clan has started a rebellion. Our armies are... pitiful to say the least. What should we do?

>>4865739
Sacrifice or Slaughter.

Orlanth HAET dragons.

You can get some magic following the example of your ancestors and buying and adopting them into your tribe, but considering your crop shortage it isn't the time to be spending your resources. Convince the thanes or turn him away.

>>4865755
Our people have a history of taking in people such as this. Try 1, then 2.

>>4865760
But Maran Gor, Orlanth's sister-in-law, LOEVS dinosaurs.

>>4865769
but she is fat and causes earthquakes.

Girls like that are for easy lays, not for placating with dinodeath.

>>4865755
I can't help but feel Loricon is trolling us when he gives advice. It's probably that expression.

>>4865745
On the very furthest left screen is your food and herds screen. If you aren't already starving to death you can click on your ring and at least a few of them will tell you specifically how many farmers you need to cover your land use; how many acres your animals need to survive (you should give them about half again so they arent overcrowded), and how many more hides of land you could farm with your current number of farmers.

Just try to be as efficient with these as you can and you should never have any troubles with food. I generally run 70% wheat, 15% barely and 15% rye just because I've never really needed to screw around with that much though apparently barely does better if you know you're going to have a shit harvest that year.

We send Vorsar, our übermensch, to convince the Vanstali to let the thralls go. How do we do this?

>>4865785
Loricon is a follower of the Trickster god. He patterns his entire life around trolling as many people as possible.

>>4865777
But by training them, either for the fields or the battlefield, you make every fucker nearby sit up and take notice.

I'M ON A TRICERATOPS
I'M ON A TRICERATOPS
TAKE A LONG HARD LOOK
AT THE MOTHERFUCKING TRICERATOPS

>>4865797
Ummm...IS it illegal to mistreat thralls? If so, that, if not argue it on practicality.
I mean, we keep slaves, we can only care SO much about what's "wrong".

>>4865797

2. Law seems the best approach.

>>4865785
We need a Loricon trollface image. That dude is *the* troll.

He tried to gamble a dragon's gold away!

3 shows intelligent use of metaphors. Do it now.

>It is illegal to mistreat thralls.
Mission somewhat successful! Well, at least we tried...

>>4865809
They're property, but it's stupid. It's like beating your cow to death. Sure, it's your cow, but why the fuck would you do it?

>>4865825
There's no helping some dumb fuckers.

>>4865817
Pic related, Loricon is starving us.

>>4865760
Just kill some real dragons. Triceratops can't help it.

>>4865846
That's it, someone extract Lori's image from the game and make some macros.

>>4865846
You should move Loricon up to the top spot.

With Milk, Crop and Rain blessings, it looks like the food crisis will be averted if we make it to the harvest.

Unfortunately, the weaponthanes are bitching about us treating the farmers better than them. In the middle of a food crisis. It's like they all want to die. For once, all Loricon has to say is "sucks to be you, dawg".

>>4865879
I agree with the old lady. Tell them to stop whining.

5.

>>4865879
Try 5, then 4. Do not piss off your farmers during the harvest.

>>4865879
The old lady seems to be suggesting we can get away with the poem. That shit's free, dawg.

>>4865879
An epic poem ahould silence them.

alright, I'm not to the most meme centric guy in the universe, but loricon is mighty close to some coolface.jpg, just sayin'.

>>4865898
But I see Vorstar is absent for some reason and he's usually the one negotiating. Are the others at least as good as he is when he comes to diplomacy? We don't want to piss off our warrior caste.

The weaponthanes got pissed.

On the brighter side, Vorsar Wayne believes we can get the pig people to give us lots of food.

>>4865913
>>4865917

Poem will piss off your farmers, though.

>>4865927
We've already got assloads of pigs. Just ask for the customary amount.

>>4865927
Just a little more, best not to be greedy and get nothing

>>4865937
Seconded.

Don't explore the Kero Fin mountain in the far west unless you send a seriously hardass exploration force. You will lose them.

>>4865957
>>4865937
We asked for the customary amount. With harvest just around the corner, it looks like we might make it without starvation after all.

And as if to hammer this home, Uralda priestesses want to bless our cows. Loricon provides some useful information as to what Uralda, the Cow Mother is worshiped for. What's our answer?

>>4865976
We're low on magic, so I guess we could gift them.

>>4865976
Fuck, not these ones! They never ever get pleased and then your peasants get pissed too.

One, I guess?

>>4865976
More cows is always good. Take them up on their offer.

Owe them a favour, they don't look like the type to get into a war or to have a shortage of food. Safe investment.

>Offer them gifts.
30 cows' worth of goods later and we have blessed cows.

Unfortunately, shit just got worse. It seems even with blessings, our harvest just wasn't big enough. What do you think, /tg/? Raid, trade or beg?

>>4866039
Any favors we can call in? If not, slaughter pigs and maybe some cows, but mostly pigs.

>>4866039
It's Dark season. You aren't going anywhere. Slaughter some pigs.

I've decided to wait with the emergency slaughter until it really becomes an emergency, but I will remember your requests for pig genocide.

As a more pressing concern, the Anzarni clan wants to hire our Humakti warriors to fight the Greydog clan. We'll be getting 5 cows for every Greydog killed or wounded.

>>4866095
Just adding that the Greydogs are our sworn enemies according to our clan leader.

Do not ever slaughter cows under any circumstances. NOT EVER

>>4866095
>>4866109

Hire them out, fuck them up. Never fail to fuel the feud.

>>4866109
OPTION 1, FUND IT

Dino cavalry their asses.

We kicked their asses good, and didn't even get blamed for it. 5 cows, a wounded Greydog leader, it's all good.

Sounds win-win. Hurt your enemies, win the praise of the Anzarni, get your warriors some practice, and get some cows to boot. What more do you want?

We all knew it would happen sooner or later. We have dreaded this moment, yet here it comes.

We have encountered the fucking ducks. Will we follow Loricon's advice for once?

>>4866164
Do so. The Ducks won't ever be your allies or decent trading partners and will probably raid you. They're not even Orlanthi. Surprise attack, kill them all, take their lands.

SLAUGHTER THEM, RAZE THEIR VILLAGES TO THE GROUND, DESTROY THEIR CROP AND EVISCERATE THE ARMS OF THE YOUNG!

Do we need a new thread? I think we're close to autosaging.

>>4866164

Not grumbling! Fuck, we better kill these assholes before those bitches start nagging us because we didn't.

New thread and archive.

>>4866184
>EVISCERATE THE ARMS OF THE YOUNG!

It doesn't work that way. "Viscera" refers to the soft squishy organs in the torso. Lungs, liver, kidneys and stuff.

But yeah, sneak attack.