>meat van
What... what the shit?

<- /ck/ is that way, friend.

>>4852994
I'm guessing it's what passes for welfare in Australia.

We have a meat van at our local market. Cheap as chips but my friend's sister got E-Coli from it. I avoid. Clearly your meat van is more prestigious than mine, what with the croc meat and all.

>>4852994

You don't have a meat van in your area?

What the fuck kind of faggot, women dominated shithole do you live in?

>>4853005
>You don't have a meat van in your area?
I don't have a meat van because I live in HUMAN FUCKING SOCIETY, not in a fucking zoo. Seriously, what the shit?

>>4853005

Florida...

I don't have a meat van in my city, but I live pretty close to an awesome butcher and several kick ass delis, Fritz Meats, Luigi's, and Kinder's.

>>4853012

What, an "I can't live without my minicappucino every morning on the train' community?

Fuck that. I'll stay out here in a REAL community.

>>4853022

Is it me, or do all people named Luigi grow up to own a deli, a restaraunt or become a plumber?

>crocodile meat

Crocodiles are your friend.

Why did the communists never conquer America?

They were afraid of crocodiles.

>>4853025

You never leave your house. Your argument is ridiculously invalid.

City vs Country

Heaven or Hell, let's rock.

>>4853025
>What, an "I can't live without my minicappucino every morning on the train' community?
No, a "buy meat at the fucking supermarket like a human rather than having a guy throw it into your wolf pen" community. How are you even typing I don't even.

>>4853005
>You don't have a meat van in your area?
>What the fuck kind of faggot, women dominated shithole do you live in?
The modern, civilized, industrialized society, where we don't buy bloody cuts of exotic meat off some dude with a van?

>>4853039
This. Seriously what the fuck is a meat van? Is it really just... a van... of different kinds of meat? Who the hell grows up to be a MEAT VAN DRIVER, and how do we know they won't snap and kill the whole fucking neighborhood?

I want an exotic meat van real bad, now.

Weird things to buy from a van:
-Meat
-Stereo equipment
-Ice cream

Pretty much everything that comes from a van oughtn't be trusted.

MEAT VAN IS MY BBEG

>>4853035

You only leave your house to get your minicappucino and ride the train. YOUR argument is invalid.

>>4853037

Yeah, next time I go to the market I'll buy you a blouse, Stacey.

>>4853039

I'll have you know that having a meat van is fucking convenient, and having the choice to buy exotic meats spices up the week. Seriously, you should try quail or pheasant.

>>4853042

I bet you're terrified of the ice-cream man too.

I'm not impressed until it's a meat bus.

I buy jerky from this guy who comes around in a van once in a while, shit is fantastic.

Seriously, screw the supermarket, some of the best meat I've eaten came out of a van. Urbanized pussies don't know what they're missing.

Meat van driver sounds like the best job ever. Just drive around, maybe play a little jingle so people know you're coming, and then stop and sell them delicious coldcuts and stuff, then drive home and do it all again tomorrow.

>>4853030
If google is any indication, about 90% of them do, I typed Luigi's into google and the whole first page was either delis or restaurants, and one jazz club.

Don't be so precious. Seriously. Meat vans are subject to all of the health and safety regs that cover delicatessens and supermarkets. The only difference is they can sell their meat for less because they have smaller overheads.

Also:

>No, a "buy meat at the fucking supermarket like a human rather than having a guy throw it into your wolf pen" community. How are you even typing I don't even.

Replace meat with milk. Then tell me this isn't a massive overreaction.

>>4853077
>Yeah, next time I go to the market I'll buy you a blouse, Stacey.
Are you sure you have them in whatever the kind of third-world hellhole that requires MEAT VANS is?

I wish i had a motherfucking meat van in my city.

>>4853078
>meat bus
I think I saw that porno.

>>4853091
>replace meat with milk
There's a difference between milk and BLOODY ANIMAL FLESH.

guys
guys stop
I'm laughing so hard I think I'm gonna die

Sigh. I'm imagining a big, bearded grizzled-looking motherfucker in a striped flannel shirt, driving around in a nondescript red van with the words "MEAT VAN" spraypainted in white on both sides. And it is awesome. He probably traps that freaking meat himself, too.

I'm aware this probably isn't the case of real meatvans, but a man can dream ;_;

>>4853005
>What the fuck kind of faggot, women dominated shithole do you live in?

>>4853039
>The modern, civilized, industrialized society, where we don't buy bloody cuts of exotic meat off some dude with a van?

Middle America - where all your food is takeaway or frozen and no one under the age of 40 cooks unless they're paid to do it.

Even my parents (who WERE great cooks) eat out daily now that my sister's moved out.

I'd LOVE to get some nice fresh stuff from the local butcher and farmstand, except for the fact I'd have to give another mortgage to afford it.

I swear to christ, every other day in this shithole it's HERP DERP MCDOUBLES

>>4853098

Not really. They can both make you ill if not prepared properly.

Does the meat bus guy slaughter the crocodile in front of you? Do you have to rip your steak out with your teeth?

>>4853100

If you do die, put your address on here with your last breath and the meat van will come for you.

You can be a part of 4chan's community forever.

>>4853111
>Not really. They can both make you ill if not prepared properly.
So can your mom, but you don't see me suggesting that she be sold via vans.

Next wednesday I'm taking a picture of my local meat van just to show how nice it is. It's pretty much a mobile butcher's shop.

>>4853109
>Middle America - where all your food is takeaway or frozen and no one under the age of 40 cooks unless they're paid to do it.
Man, the veal I buy at my local market is pretty fresh, and pretty fucking tasty.

>>4853118

That's not funny my brother died that way

>>4853109
Or the West Coast of Canada, where there are supermarkets with quality control beyond "I'd sell this to a total stranger who'd buy meat from the back of a van" and I cook because I enjoy it, but nevertheless would like some more accountability in my food providers than "looks good enough".

>>4853092

YES we have fucking markets. We have the pinball and the pacman too. So fuck you and tell me what colour you like in skirts.

>>4853118
awww, snap.

>>4853109
What the fuck kind of faggot worries about this kind of shit? "OH NOES MCDONALDS EVERY STREETCORNER, NOBODY COOKS, FARM FRESH FUCKING STAND, BOO HOO!"

Real men don't cook. They eat that shit RAW.

>>4853133
I meant blouses. I assumed you simply clothe yourself in the hides of the very animals whose bloody hunks of flesh you tear out of the back of a rusty van.

>>4853118

Really, the "meat wagon" is a pretty common thing all over the world except in backwards, retarded America where we insist on freezing everything.

The fact that in most places in the world you go to the market every other day for groceries just blows some people's minds around here. Especially my mom the "farm girl" who's used to having 3 months of frozen food on hand in 3 freezers in the basement.

>>4853137

>Real men don't cook. They eat that shit RAW.

LIKE A WEREWOLF!!!!!!

>>4853153
HOLY MOTHERFUCK IT'S DELICIOUS!

>>4852990

As far as huge reptiles goes, aligators taste a whole lot better than crocodile imo.

>>4853150

Actually, I'm wearing a flannel shirt.

I FOR ONE WELCOME OUR NEW MEAT VAN OVERLORDS.

>>4853170
>Actually, I'm wearing my fur, matted with the blood of whatever I hunted using a spear.

>>4852990

Fuck you, OP. Go gnaw on a bone, you dinosauric caveman.

A Meat TRAIN would be better.

CHOO CHOO

CHEW CHEW

>>4853165
I wish i could eat raw meat. It looks tastier than cooked meat. But it can kill you. :<

REAL MEAT VAN DRIVERS DON'T WEAR APRONS. THEY LET THE BLOOD STAIN THEIR FLANNEL SHIRTS AND BOOTCUT JEANS BLACK.

>>4853189
How about... THE MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN?

this is a real film I do not lie

>>4853193

You mean someone's stopping you?!

THEY'RE WEAKENING YOU BRO! FIGHT BACK!

>>4853206
No i mean that shit's filled with diseases and shit.

>>4853189

With the Intercom, and a cooking fire in each car.

"Mister Abraham, your beef haunch is now cooked rare in Car Four."

>>4853193
In my local cuisine there's a delicious meal made with fresh raw pork, raw egg yolks, fresh onions, oil and spices. Now that I think of it, I haven't done it in some time...

brb buying raw meat

>>4853193

only cuz you're not used to it.

>>4853137

Fuck you, motherfucker, bitches don't know about my Kaviak. Let's see you eat that shit!

>>4853211
So's your mom, but you don't see that stopping the hobos.

>>4853203

Oh, I half-watched that with my sister. Terrible movie, but it scared the crap out of her, which is always a plus.

Good prices! Good prices!

>>4853237
I can't think of a more porno-sounding actual film name. Period.

Is it just me, or is this the funniest thread /tg/ has had in... jeez, months?

That's it, having a meat van pull up at my Hunter party's base every session or two now.

Basing it on >>4853108, and having the guy's name Bob.

>>4853266

Butch is better.

>>4853271

Cecil would be funnier.

>>4853273
Jean-Luc.

>>4853266
Suspiciously leading "You boys seen anything around I might take an interest in?" questions optional?

>>4853042
This is the allure of a meat van.

So out in rural Australia they have meat vans instead of ice-cream vans?

And kids grow up eating raw, bloody meat off popsicle sticks?!

And when they grow up the men go to the capitals to trap a wife?!?!

Oh God!

Somebody archive this shit.

I love you /tg/.

>>4853278
>>4853266
Have him become good pals with the Hunters. A laid-back, funny guy. Who brings them meat.

Then, kids start going missing...


Say, wasn't there a book about Slashers or something recently?

... I had hoped that you would come to see our way of living, Shane... I really did.

Oh well. I guess I don't need to go to the meat van for a while.

Call him Pete, and have him killed after a while. His gravestone:

Here lies Pete
Who loved his meat
A feast for worms
His flesh they eat

>>4853306

What? No! My sister's dating some bloke from Rocky, I don't want her dragged back to a world of meat vans and meatsicles! I have to save her!

>>4853319

>>4853306

Blimey, got some choice cuts today!

>>4853352

>>4853341
You are too late, the meat van has already claimed her.

>>4853319
sauce?

Do the Meat Van's play jingles? Or does the Meat Van Man just holler "MEAT VAN!"?

>>4853344

>>4853372
>saucse
I dunno lol.

>>4853382
sauce?

>>4853390
"Sauce", he says. Do I look like a saucier?!

>>4853152
My Mom is the same way. My Grandparents STILL live like that. My grandpa ran a Dairy Farm all my childhood, and about 10 years ago switched to beef head.
They take ALL the meat, steak, fine haunch cut, and PRIME RIB, AND GROUND IT INTO HAMBURGER! IT'S A TRAVESTY!
Helping your family butcher a freshly slaughtered cow is an interesting experience though.

>>4853375
OI GIT YA MEAT YA BLOODY STUNTIES

>>4853415

GIT THA MEET FORE IT'S OFF, CUNTS!

I can get croc at my grocery store, but I'd rather stick to Filet Mignon, the Gentleman's meat. I always eat it in a tuxedo with white gloves- indeed it is truly cash.

>>4853375

It's more HONK HONK "MEAT VAN!". Backfire as stopping is optional.

>>4853438
I was thinking they'd just fire an AK or something into the air instead of a jingle.

>>4853450

Oi, this is Australia, not the Middle East.

It's a shotgun.

>>4853455
But with a shotgun you don't get that distinctive burst-fire sound.

>>4853456

This is Australia.

Maybe you can buy AKs from a basket at the local Bazaar, but our gun laws mean hunting rifles and shotguns only.

I don't know why, but I'm imagining the driver of the Meat Van as Peter Russell Clarke now.

>>4853483

Oh God, he has the steak on a stick and everything.

>This Thread

Know what I buy from vans?

Coffee. Like a normal fucking human being.

Not a fucking Brontosaurus T-Bone.

Oh my God, this is the funniest thing /tg/ has accidentally in months.

>>4853623
... You have... COFFEE vans? Where the fuck do you live, SEATTLE?!
The only thing sold from vans in my part of the world are Stolen goods and Ice Cream! Though, to be fair, the ice Cream trucks sell shitty Mexican candy as well, and most people sell out of vans and trucks at the local Flee Market.

>>4853623
>>4853709

NO NO NO NO!

Ice-cream for children! Meat for adults! Stolen stereos for scum!

THAT IS ALL OUT OF VANS.

V.. a.. n....?

>>4853714

Also, rent-a-pedos. For when the little girl next door is just a tad too smug.

>>4853730
>rape is an appropriate response to smugness
What?

>>4853733

You know, for when she's a know-it-all. And every time she skips past the house and you say hi she ignores you. And she's wearing her hair in twintails.

>>4853748
Faceplam.jpg

>>4853748 again. Look, I'm not saying that's what I did to the girl next door. Because that wasn't me. But if I did have a part in it, which I didn't, she deserved it for being a spoiled little bitch who always skipped across the grass on my front lawn.

Crocodile is fucking delicious.

Someone archive this, if only to preserve the Meat Van for future campaign writers.

>>4853709

I live in Seattle. As far as I'm aware, we don't have coffee vans. There's a starbucks on every corner, and most of us still have functioning legs.

Taco Vans, of course.
Ice cream for sure.
Stolen goods aplenty.
Milk in some places.
No meat vans I'm pretty sure.

I have an old van and I'm near a vet though. That seems like a good business model.

Things I like to buy from vans are, Ice cream and smuggled goods like cigarettes and drugs. No meat as of yet, but damn that would be a good business model for a local butchers in these times of craved convenience.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4852990/

Now this thread will live forever, so everyone may know about the mysterious "down under", and their bizarre practice of buying meat from a van.

>>4854013

Eh, crocodile's just a slightly gamier turkey, really.

Actually, we have a few MEAT vans here in Kansas. It's pretty classy. You fill out an order sheet, and the MEAT van comes by once a month, and drops off your packaged, nearly frozen MEAT. You can also buy stuff on-the-spot. Like, "Oh, I'm having a get-together in a week, I think I'll also take some more MEAT."
There's jerky and chicken and hamburger and ham and ribs and buffalo and bacon and steaks and exotics (like the op mentioned). And probably more, that I'm forgetting about.

Here in Finland, back in the sixties, we had beer vans.

>>4853091
>Replace meat with milk. Then tell me this isn't a massive overreaction.

Nobody delivers milk house-to-house anymore.

Enjoy your 1950s.

>>4855164
Actually, they do that here in Georgia too.

>>4856286
I've seen it.

A cousin of mine used to drive a meat truck in the Appalachians. There were some fucking Deliverance moments during that career, let me tell you.

I hear croc makes for some great sausages. Or possibly gator.

I had kangaroo steak this week - in Ireland. I never knew we had that restaurant.

Fucking delicious, but you don't get a lot for your money.

>>4852990
Why is this thread actually about meat, instead of lesbian cosplay? What is wrong with you, /tg/?

Requesting more of/like OP.

>>4856309
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK...

Do hillybillies rape meat?

>>4856364
We can talk about lesbian cosplay any time.
How often does some backwoods cousin-fucker make his way to the big city and get on a thinkin' box to tell the internet about the MEAT VAN?

>>4856394

Fine, compromise: talk about meat, attach lesbian cosplay.

>>4856373

SIR, SIR I HAVE NEVER RAPED MEAT!

HONK HONK

HERE COMES THE MEAT VAN

>>4856286

They sure do. Here in my neck of the woods, aka Utah, there's a real classy milk delivery place. You can get any kind of milk you want, in any flavor you want, including orange. Have you ever had orange milk? It's fucking fantastic.

>>4856553
>orange milk
MOTHERFUCKER

>>4853165
>>4853153

Steak tartar?

>>4856553
milk thats orange?

>>4856313

I think I had crocodile meat once. Tasted like spicy chicken, but was very chewy.

I liked it.

>>4853108

IM IN YER VAN DELIVERIN YOUR MEATS!!!

>>4856700
I wish Brian Blessed delivered me his meat. I'd buy them. I'd buy them all.

Oh wow. Back here in my third world country the only thing delivered in vans is cheap ice cream. Seriously, they sell it for like, 1kg of ice cream for a buck.

It tastes terrible.

No meat vans though. Or milk vans.

There is however, some dudes in bikes that sell local food, like "pé-de-moleque" and "pamonha"

Since I want to horrify you people even more, I'd like to mention that "pé-de-moleque" translates roughly to "brat's foot" or "kid's foot".

It tastes terrible.

Are you in a french-controlled african country?

>>4856645

Yes, with the delicious flavor of a citrus fruit (orange) infused into it.

>>4853455
>>4853456
>>4853469
Anon, I commend you on having so effortlessly distilled the essence of the two competing tribes of thought among MEAT VAN drivers regarding how best to announce one's presence to potential MEAT VAN customers.

>>4856841
And you would eat all of his meat. Like the little bitch you are.

>>4856547

i been wait'n for you BOAY!

>>4856547
you summabitch! you deliverin ta me FIRST

How did this thread, about a random person's shitty prive life, get so many replies?

>>4856978
MEAT VAN.

armadillo is good meat too with ranch dip

ONK ONK

DA MEAT WAN IS HERE

FOR DA WAAAAAAGH

Ok OP, give me the sauce to that pic and I won't hunt you down and feed you your own testicles on a plate.

I've got a fully stocked meat van for you right here.

>>4852990
I want to have a body like Cammy. Still want to keep my peen though.

Tyranid think you are gewd meat