Real Brah:
Say your charisma score is entirely based in your penis.
Attempt to use it as a weapon

Music to My Ears (Battletech 3rd) - In a suit of Battle Armor, get scraped with automatic fire to no effect.

One in a Million(Battletech 3rd) - Bring down a mech using only infantry portable, non-explosive weapons.

We are Gathered Here Today(Battletech, RPG or tabletop) - Successfully destroy an opponent with a Highlander Burial.

Where I Come From(Battletech) - ...using a Highlander.

Indonesian Boxing Day: Survive a Tidal Wave.

You Fail!: Fail the main quest of the adventure.

These Dark Heresy ones have all happened in my group.

THAT'S HERESY: Kill a loyal Inquisition NPC

That's... That's just crazy: Kill a loyal Inquisitor

I can bludgeon pretty hard...: Complete a story arc without using any Fellowship related skills.

The pen is mightier than the sword!: Fill out a form requesting backup in triplicate.

Where I come from...: Get into a cultural argument with a PC from a different planet.

Drake the Ravager: Kill someone during sexual intercourse.

Does this count as heresy?: Withhold vital information from the group's techpriest or cleric for more than a month.

Eaten by a Grue: Piss off the DM without Rules-Lawyering or min/maxing/powergaming.
Hail, the Conquering Hero: Become so well-known for killing evil villains that a BBEG gives up when you reach him.
GET TO DA CHOPPA!: Blow up the BBEG's hideout/lair and escape from the top floor/deepest level without teleportation or flight.

>>4845858
Not lol Racism:
Successfully play a racist character but add to the story by doing so

Indirect Fire: Unintentionally Hit someone hiding in shadows with a missed attack or AOE effect.

Play Ball!: Reflect a Grenade/fireball/aoe effect or attack into a group of innocent Bystanders

Moralfag: Play as a gay Paladin

Faust: Make deals with Extraplanar beings using your soul as a bartering chip.

Fiddle of Gold: Legitimately complete a deal with a devil without losing your soul.

What? We saved the day! (3.5e): Almost cause a TPK as a CG-aligned PC.

What? Nobody got Hurt! (3.5e): Almost cause a TPK as a CN-aligned PC.

...What?! (3.5e): Almost cause a TPK as a CE-aligned PC.

Legitimate fail:
Guy fucksover your campaign by just being logical whilst in character.

>rouge

James Bond: Successfully play a crustacean.

(Dark Heresy)
Better You Than Me - Sacrifice half the party or more in order to save your character.

I Never Really Was On Your Side - As a Techpriest, sacrifice half the party or more for personal gain.

The Emperor Protects! - Ignore a total of one hundred points of damage through armour and toughness.

Going Somewhere? - Using the Sprint talent, overtake a fleeing enemy by more than his running movement characteristic.

Oh Fuck You - Encounter a hostile Space Marine of any kind.

>>4845948 elipses
...

Ah-hah! An opening!:
Successfully kill BBEG with Attack of Opportunity

You got balls... metaphorically:
Play a female character who isn't a total whore.

Abra-Decapitated:
Kill a PC Wizard in single combat as a Fighter.

Tae-Kwan Dough:
Build a Monk without Vow of Poverty

Just peel the stickers off...:
Solve a puzzle in a way the DM didn't intend.

>>4845958
SECRET DOUBLE HERESY - Discover that another player is actually a heretic while simultaneously planning heresy yourself.

Backbone of the Guard: Kill an enemy in a single shot with any lasweapon.

Hammer of the Imperium: Kill two enemies in a single shot with any lasweapon.

I don't believe it. - Kill a 'boss' encounter in a single hit.

I REALLY don't believe it. - Kill a 'boss' encounter in a single hit with a melee weapon.

Obedience without Hesitation - Accept a suicide mission from your Inquisitor.

The Emperor is with me, and I shall not fear! - As a Cleric, attack a greater daemon in close combat.

"This bit goes here. Probably." - Fail a Tech-Use test by one.

I love the smell of Prometheum in the morning - Ignite three or more enemies at once with a single firebomb.

The Man Who Cried Grendal - Take down a ridiculously powerful Warp Daemon with a melee weapon.

Call me "V": Land the final blow on at least 3 heavily-armed enemies in a single encounter using a dagger.

Classic Multiclassing (DnD 4E) Make a half elf fighter/wizard/cleric, an elf fighter/wizard/rogue (or swordmage with thievery), a half orc cleric/rogue, or a dwarf or halfling fighter/rogue (or fighter with thievery).

PUNCHING THE UNPUNCHEABLE- Kill at least one of a kind Elemental and incorporeal creatures with a monk.

Hokuto Disciple- Use vibrating fist and flurry of punches on the same time and kill a enemy with it.

Hokuto Master.- Do the Hokuto Disciple stunt on a enemy higher-leveled monk.

Beastmaster- Befriend at least 50 animals with Wild Empathy.

Sniper- Using a archery ranger, manage to get 3 consecutive critical hits.

How the fuck can you do that on six seconds?- Have more than 10 attacks by round.

Slice, dice and make Julliene fries!- Do twelve cutting attacks on a single round.

Dancing Queen: Take no damage for 2 turns while being flanked.

Stacy's Mom: Have intercourse with an NPC twice as old as you

Casanova's Luck: Successfully resist all effects of an STD.

Baby Daddy: Father a child with a tavern wench/slave girl/rescued princess. Skip town the day after conception.

Blender: Kill 3 enemies with melee attacks in one round.

Grey's Anatomy: Kill a doppelganger or a bodak with a critical hit.

"One of us, one of us": Successfully infiltrate a cult that has nothing to do with the story.

>bodak with a critical hit
>bodak
>critical hit

DIE IN FIRE.

Achilles: Take over 5 times your maximum hit point total in damage over the course of a single fight.

Rewrite: Kill the BBEG at level 3 when you first meet him because the DM didn't expect you to get off 3 Scotching Rays and 2 critical Smite Evils in two turns.

To >>4846545

Not starting an edition war, but in 4e everything can be critted. In 3.5, the Spell Compendium has a spell called Gravestrike that allows you to score crits against undead. There's one more that does it, but I forget the specifics. Post acheivements or GTFO.

Trollslayer: Defeat a troll without fire or acid.

We REALLY have to stop doing that: get chased out of 5 towns,

Brave brave sir robin: The party runs. The bard is singing for party's competency.

(3.5)
That hit was Hard: Be killed by over 300 points of damage past -10

Where'd he go?: Stealth kill three BBEGs

One Scary Bastard: Beat an opponent's Opposed check against Intimidate by more than 30

How the Fuck Did He Do That?: Kill a equal level caster is combat one on one as a Fighter.

>>4846628
Don't forget that in 3E, a lot of magic weapons (Flaming Burst, etc.) also deal tons of extra damage on a crit.

He REALLY needs a life: The person playing the bard bursts into song when using bardic music; he sings Disturbed lyrics.

>>4846689
I've had someone do something similar just with John Denver...

>>4846697
Me too. Eye of the Tiger for Inspire Courage.

Does the Vow of Poverty do anything besides handicap you, and make your character a whipped bitch?

Big Damn Heroes: Rescue Jaela Daran. Have YOU rescued the Pontiff of Thrane?

(As a GM)"... and I'm not done yet!"
Run five different campings

"Hey guys! I have this magnificent idea..."
... for one group...

"So what will we play tomorrow"
... and play one session from each of those campings at same week...

"You're thinking of a wrong system, Dave..."
... in different systems.

(As a player)Sneaky Bastard (in 3.5 DnD)
Change your character, class and concept after every session WITHOUT your DM noticing it.

>>4846735
It was SAVED, dammit. "Have YOU saved the Pontiff of Thrane?"

And the best part was waving my Pope-granted immunity in the face of obnoxious priests.

>>4846732

Vow of Poverty would be really good, if it didn't, paradoxically, turn your character into a miserly jew.

A non-VoP character can say "Nah, I'm good" when it comes to cash awards. But a Vow of Poverty character apparently falls if he doesn't constantly clamor for his share, doesn't loot every fucking dirty gym sock off every goblin to pawn, etc.

But its good for shit like psions and sorcs, one of a rare few ways to get a +8 enhancement pre epic.

[Exalted]
And I Will Form The Head! - Play with one dragonblood of each element, each with their own warstrider that can combine to form a single gigantic warstrider.

Always Bet on Duke - Have a heroic mortal survive Green Sun Radiance and kick Ligier in the nuts.

A Perfect Circle? - form a perfect circle that includes one of each type of celestial exalt without a horribly contrived backstory

But It's Tradition! - Don't destroy Gem

>>4846793
So yes, it's just a handicap?

>>4846735
>>4846751
sage for logicninja inspired meme.

>>4846751
I'm so confused by this picture.

Treehugger: Have sex with/be seduced by a dryad

>>4846843
She's reading about the teaching of Jesus! Maybe it's a new, interesting take. That promotes winking and lounging about in your undies.

>>4846689

I like Disturbed....

"Believe in me, who believes in you" After a character death, take on a cohort as the next character. get that cohort to a higher level than the original character

Not cut out for this: Go a whole session (at least 2 encounters) without a single successful die roll.

Idiot Savant: The only successes you roll are criticals.

Bladestorm: Deal 100 damage in a round with thrown weapons.

Divine Dumbass: Accidentally use turn undead on non-undead 3 times in a session

Defenestration: Be found by the guards in midcoitus with the princess.

This is Awkward: Two members of the party have a drunken night of passion and have to ride miles with the rest of the party to the adventure location the next day.

Good Intentions: Steal a litter of goblins (or gnolls, etc.) at birth in order to raise them with good morals.

Oops: Accidentally kill a prisoner during interrogation.

They don't make 'em like they used to: Destroy a golem in one round.

Quicker than the eye: Move more than 20 squares/100 feet in a round without magic cast by allies.

There is only Zuul: Abandon a party member incapacitated by an enemy.

Greased pig: Escape from a grapple 5 times in one encounter.

>>4845822
ARCHIVE THIS.

We're Not In Kansas Anymore - PC gets so drunk he wakes up in another plane with no memory of how he got there.

Has seen that thread on /tg/: Kill somebody with a successful escape artist roll of DC 80 or higher.

Sneaky in a Different Way--
When rolling damage, use more/larger dice without the DM noticing.

What wound?--
Survive a battle only because you wrote down less damage than you actually took.

>>4847353
awesomeface.jpg

...And We Will Live: Successfully avert a TPK by having your character run like a little bitch.
Deus Ex Datum: Survive a high-damage attack (say, a 16d6 Disintegrate spell) because at least a third of the dice rolled a 1.
Warner Brothers Special: Get someone killed by being completely flattened by a very large object.
Xom Is Amused: Die to something that's normally harmless.
Screw This, I'm Going Agnostic: Have a prayer for divine intervention result in said deity doing the opposite of what you wanted.

Now you see me, now you don't: Use teleportation as a method of attack.

[Exalted]

Batman vs. Superman - Use a combination of stunts, multiple participants, and Crack The Sky/ Horizon-Hurling Tactic to throw the BBEG into the sun.

Rampage - Combine Devastating Ogre Enhancement with Mountainous Spirit Expression to become a gigantic monster, then destroy Gem while eating as many humans as possible.

2nd Amendment Rights - Use Hybrid Body Rearrangement to change your arms into those of any ursine creature.

Kowabunga Dude! - Play with 4 Changing or Full Moon Lunars, all with turtle or tortoise totems, with a shared rat totem Lunar mentor.

Less is more: Defeat an CR 12+ encounter with a magic based character using only level one and zero spells.

Pokemon Master: Prepare your spell list with nothing but summon monster spells.

>>4847545
First level caster followers with Cooperative Spell are actually fucking good for this.

Never Say Never Again: Make the DM regret claiming something is 'impossible'.

Epic Trash: Earn a legacy for an odd item. (fishing hook, chicken bone, bag of toenail clippings, etc.)

Why has no one else archived this?

Instant Empire: Use leadership and landlord feats together to grow an empire less than a month.

CopyCaster: Make a wizard who only uses spells from Bigby, Mordenkainen, and Leomund.

Smooth Criminal: Cash in all of the loot from a major encounter for your own benefit with complete party approval.

foe zapper: blow up 2 heads with 2 shots of a laspistol

flyhigh: being trown more than 20 meters

i've just hit him once!: kill a captured person, who had important information because you hit him

Sororitas Bodycheck: Destroy two Ork trukks by jumping into one and survive

Just listen guys : convince your group to ignore a bomb in their car because you have seen speed

he's only a big gekko: kill a greater deamon with blood boil

Mission Impossible: Play a lawful good paladin without being a complete ass.

MacGyver: Solve a major situation with a rope, a ten foot pole, a bag of caltrops, and a square of canvas.

Webslinger: Travel to your destination using imovable rods attached to magicked ropes.

Dynamic Entry: Earn a surprise round on an enemy by entering the room through the ceiling.

Thunderballs: Tell off a god to their face with impunity.

i'll check the brakes - have an accident while driving in the desert... with no reason

All the Alignments of the Rainbow: Play in a group where no 2 characters share the same alignment.

You SURE We're Allies?!: Be the only creature that dies in an ally's AoE spell.

Not Like the Rest: Play a LG Rogue or Necromancer.

The Devil is in the Details: Be punished by the DM for not filling out a part of your character sheet (nothing under 'languages known' leads to mute character, etc.)

I BATHE in that shit!: Gain immunity to all energy types.

Triage: Keep an ally from dying without healing items, magic, or skills.

It's All Me Baby: Diplomacy through an encounter with a real speech while lacking the requisite skills/stats.

Guess Who!: Surprise an NPC villain by revealing that his three most hated enemies are all actually your one character in various disguises.

Fuck Your Couch, Wizard!: Collapse a wizard's tower using a Dairn's Instant Fortress.

[Exalted]

ZA WARUDO - Kill an enemy of at least Essence 3 with multiple thrown attacks, a large land vehicle, and multiple punches in a single flurry.

Sure is 1994 in Here - Play with either 4 lunars with different shark totems, or 3 with different frog/toad totems.

Not This Shit Again - Ride a tyrant lizard with essence cannons strapped to it into battle against Dragonblooded with Biomagitech implants.

My Name is Inigo Montoya - Orphan a young boy, who later spends his life seeking vengeance on you. Don't remember his father.

/b/lackup: Gain the ability to summon an army to fight for you with a single sending spell.

Did I do that?: Cause the destruction of a metropolis with one bottle of alchemist's fire.

Fighterportation: Use Supreme Cleave as a method of transportation.

Egobreaker: Kill a previous character of yours that became NPC'd.

ToonPhysics: Kill an NPC with a portable hole.

Smackhappy: Attempt to use smite against a wrong aligned NPC enough times to exhaust your smites per day.

>>4847323
Did this with a salamander in one of the first games I played. Entire reason he was with the party.

>>4847529
Friend had a character like this in M&M. Would grab people in mid-teleport, go up as high as he could, fall and regen, while the baddie splatted against the ground.

>>4847525
Different friend did the first one in my last campaign against the BBEG. To be fair, he was a kobold.

[Dark Heresy]

It's Not Rocket Religion: Play a tech-priest from generation till death without using a single scientific term.

She Blinded Me With Religion: Play a female Techpriest with high fellowship and the Charm skill maxed.

Mad Religion: Build a vehicle, weapon, or other device which fails catastrophically and kills someone.

Waste Not, Want Not: Use your Feral Homeworld background as an excuse to every human you kill.

Need. More. Juice: Use every combat drug every time you fight for three consecutive encounters.

Mind Bullets: Take a Discipline as a non-sanctioned psyker.

Oh Snap!: Destroy an enemy vehicle by dropping another vehicle on it.

German Engineering in da House: Drive away in the vehicle used in the above achievement.

[GM] You're Stuck in a Time Loop: Have your characters enter the same room, and fight the same enemies, and get the same items, five times or more without them noticing.

Did I say Tentacles?: Fight a creature that uses tentacles as weapons.

I meant Testicles: The above creature uses its genitalia as weapons.

Sure is /d/ in here: As a female character, get defeated/exhausted by a creature fulfilling the above two achievements.

The Tigress Priestess fights the Tentacle Monster: As above, but using a furry/animal shape.

Maybe we should give them some alone time: Earn either of the above two achievements multiple times in the same encounter.

Signs your GM hates you: Earn any of the above five Achievements in your campaign's first encounter.

When I was your age: Play a non-wizard human character who's twice as old as the second oldest character.

Not very Impressive: As above, except the second old player is younger then 13.

>German Engineering in da Haus

Fix'd.

>Deutsche Ingenieurwissenschaft zu Hause

More fix'd

The Simpsons Did it First: Interrupt your BBEG's grand scheme speech by pointing out all the flaws in his plan.

South Park Did it Too: As above, except the whole party does it.

Are you even being Serious anymore?: As a majority good aligned party, earn the above achievement, then immediately start coming up with a new plan for the BBEG, whilst giving him tips and pointers on how to implement it.

With an improved fresh pine scent!: Make a character who has a scent. Constantly remind the party/GM that your character has a scent.

Fursecution Complex: Come to your games dressed as the animal your Druid wild shapes into.

4e = WoW, Amirite?: Use WoW/MMORPG terms in character in any tapletop game. ie "I'm drawing aggro! Someone tank me! My DPS sucks. MORE DOTS! BUFFS PLOX." etc etc

>>4848517
>>4848739

>>4848747
Why so Serious?: As a majority evil aligned party, meet the requirements for "Are you even being Serious anymore?"

>>4848739
> Ingenieurwissenschaft
Dammit, Germany, WORDS ARE NOT LEGOS.

>>4847282
>>4847651
Still only 1 archive request.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj-x9ygQEGA&fmt=18

They Shouldn't Fence at Night, or they're gonna Hurt the Gymnasts: At level 1, take Weapon Proficiency Rapier, buy a Rapier, then Fence with every enemy you encounter.

[GM] Spin Around Ninjas: Have the party encounter ninjas that uses choreographed dance moves.

Start as Hogwarts, end as Lord of the Flies: Play in a school game which degrades into anarchy/GM making up the story as he goes.

Drinking Wine. Douchebags!: Your character drinks wine. And only wine. All the time. Even during encounters.

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED! I could keep going, but I'm not: Make a slew of achievements based entirely on a video, then have IE crash and lose your work and rewrite a third of what you originally had.

/me fistpump. Yeah, bitches!

>>4845822

Why are people incapable of spelling the word ROGUE. It's not hard people and saying rouge makes you look like a complete retard. /tg/ is better than that.

>>4849115
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4845822/
already archived you stupid nigger

Achievements that my most recent character should have earned in this campaign by now.

Make Love, Not War : Defeat an enemy peacefully (he conned, seduced, and slept with the pirate captain while the other PCs stole her stuff as we were asked to).

lol, wut: Go on a quest without any idea what you're actually doing (party was hired by a guy to kill a cult leader; I was not aware this was a job until he was dead).

Power and Glory: Refuse a mission that rewards with money over a mission that has no material rewards (took a job from a bard in exchange for a song in his honor instead of the bard's competitor who offered money up thge shitter).

Fuck, Run!: Alert more than 5 enemies to your position; run away (Goblins, man. They were EVERYWHERE).

>>4849143
Sinister rouge
Coming back for more
To even the score

>>4849591
Innocents burned,
alive at the stake
Tortured and dumped
In nameless graves
Centuries wane
Authority died
Scattering seeds of ancient lies

Sinister rouge, coming back for more...
to even the score

Great fucking album.

Love Can Bloom : using fellowship befriend and seduce a wounded Xeno

Love Can Bloom in Her/His/Its Mouth: Have creepy detailed in charactor with said Xeno

The Numbers Don't Lie: Force a DM to let you do something by rolling multiple 20s in a row.

DM: You've arrived at the town.
PC: I want a horse.
DM: Uhh, roll to see if they sell horses here, I guess.
(rolls 20)
DM: Alright, they sell horses here.
PC: No, I want it for free.
DM: Uhh... okay... roll to check if you can get one for free.
(rolls 20)
DM: I... uhh... huh.
PC: Sweet, free horse.

>>4849792

This is why I make random town/ village/ city generation tables, coupled with tables to determine the general attitude of most of the people there--extremely amiable to SHITFUCK I KILL YOU!

Keeps this free horse shit down, unless the PC tries to haggle with the one-armed, surly horse master who spits on the PC's feet for being insolent.

...and propane accessories: Level a building using only common household implements and substances.

Friendly Reacharound: Horribly fail your pickpocketing attempt, grabbing the target's genitals instead.

Wasn't me...: Get out of trouble for something you did with a Bluff check five times.
Like a Boss: Take the Leadership Feat and keep all your cohorts alive through the entire campaign
Use the Force: Destroy a building with nothing but 2 Magic Missiles
I'm the Lord of the Harvest! (4th Ed.): Kill 15 minions in one round.
What did you do!?: Derail the entire campaign single-handed.

>>4845901

Eaten by a Grue (Traditional): Run out of torches/lantern oil halfway thru the dungeon. Make your way back to the surface* without use of infravison or magical light.

*(Nightmare Mode: Complete the adventure.)

>>4846375

Never the same thing twice: make it to epic level with level 1 in 20 different classes.

Original characters do not steal: Run a party consisting of a wizard, a human ranger, a human fighter, an elf, a dwarf, and four halflings.

(Easy mode: a halfling rogue, and 12 dwarves of any class, plus DMPC wizard.)

No John, you are the demons: Play as a tiefling paladin and fall.
Killer Clown: Kill something by whacking it with a cockatrice corpse.

I'm his kid brother: Replace your dead character with a character that is identical in stats.

Life saving cockblock: Save a fellow PC from a trap involving a "comely woman in chains" as bait.

[hackmaster]
You little rascal!: Force 5 PCs or NPCs of equal or higher level then you to take, and then fail, a save vs. apology.

Mighty torso: Have a strength score of 25 and be missing 2 or more limbs. Must survive one full session.

FUCK YOU I'M A GODDAM DRAGON (4e): play a dragonborn dragonblood sorceror with a psuedodragon familiar, Scion of Arkosia paragon path, and an epic destiny that is related to dragons.
Also, use the Dragon transformation EVERY DAY, even if there are no combat encounters.

LOL I TROLL U: Get killed by a troll with it dealing exactly your remaining health in damage.

DnD3.5-
Chaotic Radical, Dude! : Snowboard down a hill on the corpse of a fallen foe.

"Nice torso, I think I'll take it" : Single-handedly kill enough NPCs, both friend and foe alike, for the DM to declare your character is now Flesh Reaper.

"Maybe he wont be mad..." : Have an arch nemesis resurrected.

All these achievements came one the one player in the same chronicle. Sometimes he was awesome... sometimes he was just stupid.

*clears throat*

Please read these threads:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3845328/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3847719/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4111227/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4431970/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4676423/

This thread also seems to be archived on sup/tg/. Everyone thank the host.

>>4850657

NO U: Use the exact same spell/effect/attack combo your opponent just used on you. Do more damage.

Xom is... confused: Beat Dungeon Crawl as a worshipper of Xom.

Xom is amused: Die from divine intervention.

[EXALTED]

So I'll pick up the zombie and: Using improvised weapons, do a three die stunt with a melee charm.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-: Blow all your essence on a single use of Peony Blossom Attack...

-UCK YOOOOOOOOOOU: ...and critically land every blow.

>>4847529
Can you telefrag in any edition of D&D? What about the White Wolf games (Exalted! probably has a stunt for it lol)?

>>4851125

3.5 has a spell that allows you to use liquid as a method of teleportation.

Our mage linked a puddle at the bottom of a cliff with the blood of his enemy.

Predictable results followed.