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  • File :1244181943.png-(33 KB, 600x400, 18.png)
    33 KB Dorf Quest LIII Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)02:05 No.4773092  
    Previous thread: >>4771721

    >Check scepter for talking bits
    The scepter has no talking bits. As far as you can tell, it is non-magical.

    >Presley! Go tame that spider! If he gives you any trouble let me know. Give it a shadow leg too.
    "Yes sir!" Presley sets to work on getting to that spider to tame it, making himself a shadow staircase.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:08 No.4773107
    Go scope out the exit and find out where you're gonna be when you leave the cave.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:09 No.4773116

    > "Yes sir!" Presley sets to work on getting to that spider to tame it, making himself a shadow staircase.

    This won't end well ...
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)02:14 No.4773160
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    One harrowing climb later...

    ...Is that sunlight? I do believe you see sunlight.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:15 No.4773173
    Sonsun! <3
    >> Totallynotsamefag !!PwrhihocaUN 06/05/09(Fri)02:15 No.4773177
    how's Presley doin?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:16 No.4773182
    Climb out and wave hello to Sunson.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:16 No.4773184
    Don't you mean...
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)02:20 No.4773227
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    You thank Sunson for his contribution to society.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:21 No.4773234

    Did he erase ther axehead?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)02:23 No.4773252
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    ...Well fuck, it looks like he did.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:23 No.4773253
    Aww, shame we can't hug him, cuz, y'know, he'd melt the earth on accident.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:24 No.4773256
    Call over your shoulder "Hey Presley! Finish up in there an' git out here. We got some climin' to do!"
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/05/09(Fri)02:28 No.4773292
    OH NO.


    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)02:28 No.4773298
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    >"Hey Presley! Finish up in there an' git out here. We got some climin' to do!"
    There is no answer.

    You decide to go back and look.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:29 No.4773300
    *grumble* .. "half assed figgin' majickal ... " .. *grumble*

    "Hey Presley!"
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:33 No.4773341

    Now that we know how to get out, head back into the cavern and flood Buzzardloved. Then climb back out and take the scenic route back to the entrance, by which point the flood will have finished cleansing our kingdom of the stench of treachery.

    Also, use spider-leg to replace shadow leg that disappeared when sunlight hit it.

    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)02:38 No.4773386
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    "Its a girl spider! She was just protecting her eggs. We had a talk, and she'll come with us as long as we feed her and keep her eggs safe somehow."
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:39 No.4773407
    >Silently chuckle as shadow leg vanishes from Sonsun
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/05/09(Fri)02:40 No.4773419
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    W.. we mutilated a mama spider..?

    B.. Beardbeard! You monster!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:40 No.4773420

    Set some dorfs guarding them. Severe punishment for anyone harming any eggs.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:40 No.4773423
    "Well. It's. Hey. Um."
    "We. Uh."
    "How many eggs?"
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:42 No.4773437
    ( Gentlemen, behold! We have our army! )
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:42 No.4773438

    Hey, our leg didn't vanish in the sunlight!

    So, we should find her eggs, then place them in the tiny homecaveplace we woke up in. Also:

    >Appaerently sentient

    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:42 No.4773442

    We shall raise these baby spiders in our own image!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:42 No.4773447

    Fuck, those eyes look like freckles, and freckles are FUCKING SEXY!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:43 No.4773451
    Ours is going to disappear too you know. So I think we'd better fashion a replacement quick.

    So, take the spider along with us to see Cultist and have her fix it up. When we find out about the pregnancy, have our new Giant Spider companion agree to leave behind a baby spider or two to keep Lily and the upcoming baby company.

    But first, vengeance by flooding Buzzardloved. And then drinking all of the ale that survives.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:45 No.4773476
    * wait *
    We can do better than just feed & protect her. We can feed her BABIES!
    Buzzardloved is now her future meat locker.
    ( Gentlemen, behold! Our future army! )
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:47 No.4773490
    So, yah. Let her tag along & off to cultist we go?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:49 No.4773514

    Well, only the traitors. But we still have to flood the place first. The heaviness of the sin of betrayal will undoubtedly cause those who overthrew us to sink into the depths, while the light hearts and minds of our supporters will allow them to float on the surface of the cleansing waters.

    And then we feed the corpses to the spiders. If they can't eat all of the corpses now, then we use a few casks of ale to preserve the leftovers for later.

    Then, to Cultist!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:49 No.4773515

    Yeh, the Dwarfs weren't making very good underlings anyway. And I kinda like the sounds of 'King Beardbeard Godslayer Mutated Spider Lord of Everything'
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)02:52 No.4773534
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    >Find her eggs
    Her eggs are right here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4771721/#4772566

    >...How many eggs?
    "Oh, around three hundred or so. They should be hatching sometime soon. Hopefully within the month!" Her voice is extremely soft, barely above a whisper. If anything remotely noisy were happening nearby, it'd be impossible to make out her words.

    >We can do better than just feed & protect her. We can feed her BABIES!
    "Oh I very much like that idea. That would be splendid."
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:53 No.4773543
    Sounds like we got a plan there Mr Gnome/dm/gm!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:56 No.4773577
    "About the leg .. I .. er .. Ssss . .er .. yah. You know."
    "SssSsSS .. SO!"
    ( to Presley )
    "She said she'd come with us. The eggs come too?"
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:56 No.4773579
    So what was she trying to say before we relieved her of her appendage?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:59 No.4773605

    Fashion her severed leg into a megaphone-type thing, then give it back to her and tell her what it's for.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:01 No.4773624
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)03:01 No.4773629
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    >take the spider along with us to see Cultist and have her fix it up.
    You set out to do this. At the bottom of the mountain, however, you run into some familiar kobold faces. Driblis explains that without you around, the Dorfs kicked them out of Buzzardloved. Since their old village had been reduced to rubble by you, they were wondering if you could find them a new home or something.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:02 No.4773641
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:03 No.4773643
    That's as good an apology as any from BB
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:03 No.4773647

    FUCK YES! Things are looking up for Beard.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:03 No.4773650
    Find them a new home: Buzzardloved.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:03 No.4773653

    Buzzard loved IS their home, we WILL get it back. Dwarfs or no dwarfs.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:04 No.4773658
    How do they like caves?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:04 No.4773665

    Double Genral! Thwy DARED to kick him out!? THEY WILL PAY
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:05 No.4773671
    Tell them our plan to kill all traitors of Buzzardloved and feed them to our spider and her children.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:05 No.4773675
    *daym* .. our ( potential ) army is expanding. Let them have that cave. They'll be in the neighborhood when we get back.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:06 No.4773682
    You kobolds can live in Buzzardloved again once I kill all the other dorfs for betraying me.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:06 No.4773688
    get kobolds to guard spider cave/eggs
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:07 No.4773700
    Is our plan to seize Heracles godhood before or after we invade Buzzardloved?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:08 No.4773707
    That's probably a good idea - if she's ok with it.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:09 No.4773718
    In other words, leave them back at the cave while we go find some help for these mutations & get some ale. And some food for Mrs GCS.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)03:09 No.4773721
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    >Tell them our plan to kill all traitors of Buzzardloved and feed them to our spider and her children.
    "So... you need a guard for those eggs, right? We'll gladly protect them from harm, if it gives us a home with a river in it!"
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:10 No.4773729
    Revenge first!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:10 No.4773732
    B-but he cant get kicked out.
    He is the admin of the server.
    QUICKLY /vk the dorfs
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:13 No.4773747
    Make sure you warn them the eggs are supposed to hatch within the month, and ask our awesome spider if there's anything special they should do in case of hatching.

    Other than that just tell them to be ready to invade Buzzardloved whenever you return.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:13 No.4773751
    Mount spider.
    Make terrible mutated dorfiders.

    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:13 No.4773752
    That's the spirit mah man!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:15 No.4773762
    Kobold GCS riders. Daym'd if things ain't looking up!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:17 No.4773774
    >a river
    I see where your going with this. TO THE SWAMP!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:19 No.4773791
    Well, if we aren't flooding the place out, then we may as well usurp Heracles before returning home.

    We could also make fucking well sure that Garrelf knows where Buzzardloved is via informative posters and neglect to mention that we've been deposed, letting him do the dirty work. But a more hands-on approach will be more fun I think.

    Make sure to take a spider egg or two along so that we can give baby spiders to Lily as a pet when we get to the windmill, though. Assure the spider (maybe we should ask what her name is?) that those babies will be taken care of very well.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)03:20 No.4773793
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    She was trying to say "Stay away from my children." She said the same to Drillboy before devouring him.

    Also, at all: The problem with the flooding plan is that this underground river is about 2 feet deep at its deepest point.

    Lolth whispers "They will be very hungry when they wake up. Make sure you have a LOT of food ready for them! Anything living will do, but it doesn't need to be alive when they wake up."

    Driblis promises he will have food and warriors at the ready at all times, before heading on to the climb up.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:21 No.4773802
    Then when we return home, revenge on Musclebeard and we have DOUBLE GODLINESS.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:23 No.4773820
    As long as Lolth is okay with the kobolds, set out to the windmill!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:24 No.4773825
    No biggie. We'll think of something creative to with the brook & drowndination stuffs when we get back. Or we'll just sick our army engineer on it.
    Now first. Uh .. were are we going again?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:25 No.4773833
    actually, if we manage to kill Musclebeard, we can take his position as God of Dorfs. We couldn't take Glitterfags position because we weren't Fae, but we can totally become the warrior god of Dorfs.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:26 No.4773845
    Yah. There's a method to our method. Trust us.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:27 No.4773848
    I think becoming the God of all things Dorfy would be a fitting conclusion for Beardbeard.

    Or at least it would be, if it didn't seem like the Pantheon here was constantly getting thrown into upheaval by the actions of random mortals.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:28 No.4773853
    Come alone Presley & Mamaselle L. We gotta gits you fed. Legs don't just grow back on their own you know.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)03:28 No.4773854
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    ....Well something must have happened here while you were gone. Last you recall it was flying. And the door was still attached. And it looked like people lived here.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:28 No.4773856
    We'll have to undo Xom's mutations though. The god of the Dorfs must be a shining paragon of Dorfenkind.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:28 No.4773857

    Sounds good to me. And we can recruit more minions in Eridia.

    Also, as long as we're heading by the windmill, and now that we've found out that Garrelf is somehow fucking over the world, mention that to the Goldmoon Slayers. They could use a purpose that doesn't even remotely involve killing us.


    Windmill, to be healed by Cultist. Yes, I know that she can't undo mutations, but I've figured out a SECRET and CUNNING plan to get around that little limitation.

    Also, everyone should feel ashamed that they failed to make any Cave Story references back on Aldwinside when the windmill was floating in midair.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:29 No.4773869
    Then again, I suppose the djinn probably doesn't really count as a mortal.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:30 No.4773875
    Investigate inside.
    Maybe they left a note.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:31 No.4773883
    If we have divine power I'm pretty sure we could undo them ourself.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:33 No.4773901
    I don't think Xom would like that.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:37 No.4773923
    He didn't seem to care when he undid Goldmoon's mutations.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:38 No.4773936

    Sounds like a good idea.

    Is there any other way we have to track them?

    Also, we can always look underneath the windmill to see if there was anything there. That vampire chick couldn't have come from nowhere.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)03:38 No.4773938
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    It looks like they just packed up and left. Alternatively robbed, seeing as how everything is destroyed.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:43 No.4773979
    we need a new shield. take the door from the stove.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:44 No.4773990
    If we can't get ourselves a little less unfubared maybe we should grab a few more allies. Who else could we visit?
    And remember we have, like, a 30 day time constraint
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)03:46 No.4774008
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    Stoveshield acquired!

    Now if we could just get a new axefoot, and a more permanent blade for our spiderclaw, we'd be back in business.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:47 No.4774009
    Did they leave anything? Ale perchance?
    All this other stuff is high priority but WE NEED BOOZE
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:48 No.4774023
    Do we know if there are any priests of Xom in Eridia?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:49 No.4774029
    Do we have feeling in our shadow arm?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:51 No.4774048

    Well, this kind of sucks. Do we know about Aldwin's job on Dorfside? Because we do kind of need Cultist's help for this one. Not only is she the only priest(ess) of Xom we know who won't charge us like the Running of the fucking Bulls, but she's also the only one crazy enough to do what we'd be asking. Maybe.

    But we may as well pick the place over for loot before we go to find our designated healbitch. Also, do we have any residual TRAPSENSE from our brief sojourn in thiefdom all those sessions ago? Just want to make sure there's nothing hidden or under the windmill, that's all.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)03:52 No.4774056
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    Your Dorf senses tingle.

    AHA! VINTAGE WINE, HIDDEN UNDER THE BED! Its not Ale, but it will have to do.

    Alcoholism: Sated.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:54 No.4774076

    And we may as well carve a message in the floor or something:


    Then Presley puts in something to make this seem nonthreatening in his own handwriting. Maybe a scrawled picture of the current party?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:56 No.4774095
    This would be a good idea, but first can we make a guess about how long the windmill's been abandoned?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)04:01 No.4774145
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    No, you don't. Its basically a big tough glove.

    Eridia has temples to Poseidon, Nemelex, Pelor, Yog, and Ra.

    Presley decides to handle the message problem.

    Sometime recently, since you were last here about 9 days ago.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:03 No.4774160

    OOC: Wait, didn't Kav become a worshipper of Heracles there? How'd she do that if there's no temple to him?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:03 No.4774168

    1 shadow axe arm
    1 block of metal
    1 way to melt metal
    1 ale

    USE ALE TO COOL IT DOWN (or light it on fire. Whatever. Same thing)

    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:06 No.4774188
    The shadows are destroyed by fire though!

    Well, I guess Beardbeard doesn't know this, but he shouldn't be lighting his arm on fire until our current medical problems are resolved.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:08 No.4774202
    OOC: They're on their honeymoon, aren't they.

    IC: Now we just need to head to Eridia, I guess. Although maybe we can send Presley to go ask the Slayers where everybody went. On the other hand, given that Nevada did say they'd reconsider the contract, we could try going ourselves. Get some points for being, well, as close to polite as BB gets.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:09 No.4774214
    Cover the fire! It's completely possible to melt something while covering fire.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:10 No.4774217
    Just to let everyone know in case there isn't a chance later: my secret plan to fix the mutations is to actually add more.

    As in, have Cultist (or whoever else we get) just keep on mutating us until she mutates away all of the negative mutations that are screwing us.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)04:10 No.4774219
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    AHA, because the 1d4chan article I just referenced is clearly missing that particular temple in its list. OOPS. Come to think of it, its also missing the one to Fate that Mah-Mee runs. Huh. How careless of me.

    BRILLIANT. Beardbeard decides he must find a way to melt metal and make this happen.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:11 No.4774231

    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:13 No.4774243
    Could Fate help us out?
    We're not followers, but he did aid us in our last episode of godslaying shenanigans.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:16 No.4774264
    Actually, there's a way to make this trick work that won't involve just melting our arms right off: soak the arm in water (or knowing BB, more ale) first, then plunge it into the metal. The layer of liquid/vapor that results will prevent the arm from being horribly burned while we coat the shadowaxe in metal.

    And we do have to get Lolth some sort of megaphone, so we can hear her.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:17 No.4774272

    Claim that we need the power of the other gods to deal with Sata-ta-tan; given the way Fate's shitting bricks over that one, he just might go for it.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)04:18 No.4774277
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    >> Status check! Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)04:22 No.4774320
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    Lessee, the first thing you'll need is some metal you can melt to make the new axe-arm. Since all of your gold was in Buzzardloved, its safe to say you can't just buy some.

    You also need a new leg, which you also can not afford.

    And some healing, too , which will either take a lot of time, finding Cultist, or more spending of money you don't have. You might find Cultist by waiting at Heracle's temple because of your note, but at this point it would be just as viable to wait here at the windmill for her.

    Oh and you will need to get Lolth some food eventually, somewhere in there. My my things are complicated around here.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:25 No.4774348

    Actually, isn't a lot of that gold in our inventory? I mean, we had to leave a decent chunk of the draconic horde there to begin with, and I'm pretty sure that that 20,000 gold is what we've been keeping on hand as beer money.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)04:27 No.4774365
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    We left our money at Buzzardloved when we went to hunt down Demonsun. We haven't had a chance to retrieve it since then.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:29 No.4774376
    So the question is this: wait for Cultist, seek out Cultist more directly, or go kill Heracles and then chill there and wait.

    When we do smack down Heracles, though, we probably want to do it at night. That way, we don't have to worry about Sunson accidentally making our shadowstuff disappear.

    ...and I just realized, perhaps we could smash Moonelf into Heracles and then replace Moonelf with something better? Like Koboldmoon, or Moonorc, or something else along those lines?

    At minimum, we could carve a mustache and beard onto Moonelf to make him less of a pansy.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:30 No.4774389

    Well, I guess that means we need money. I propose that when we go and kill Heracles, we redistribute the wealth in his temple to ourself. I mean, technically it'll be ours anyway, and we'll put it back into the economy instead of just keeping it locked up in fancy candlesticks or some shit like that.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:36 No.4774444
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    The economy is tanked, so to correct it we will get tanked!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:37 No.4774448

    I just realized that Buzzardloved is already fucked because the presence of a king means that the dwarven economy has begun.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:39 No.4774462
    ;.; Satan
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)04:41 No.4774476
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    Alright, fuck logistics, lets do a timeskip.

    Metal axe-arm acquired! That blacksmith never knew what hit him.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:43 No.4774486




    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:45 No.4774504
    Who hoo TIME SKIP
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:45 No.4774511
    You know, we could take a look at Aordor, it's been ages since we check it out for the last time.

    Maybe some group of adventurers killed the Mutant Arm and now it's a young settlement ready to be conquered by BB.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:45 No.4774513
    How much time did we skip? I hope the cutebolds weren't eaten by hungry baby spiders.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:47 No.4774526
    Assuming that it wasn't enough of a timeskip for Cultist and crew to show up, I think we're now properly equipped to smack down god number...3, or would this be 4? I can't quite remember at this point.

    Well, perhaps we should make sure to find some sort of annoying woodland creature and feed it to Lolth first.

    And we should also make a solemn vow not to drink again until Heracles' title is ours. The combination of the promise of ale and the cauldron of effervescent RAGE that is a sober dwarf should be enough to overwhelm Heracles.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:47 No.4774531
    Lets Doooo The Tiiiiime Waaarrp Daaaaaaannnce!!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:48 No.4774535

    Furious George killed it a while ago.

    You know, maybe we should see if we can find him. Put out an Want Ad for skeletal macaques.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)04:48 No.4774542
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    Now if only you actually knew how to craft things, you could probably put your new smithy to good use.

    The Timeskip was about 3 hours. I was just getting bored, since no one suggested anything.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:50 No.4774559

    When Gnome gets bored... Someone dies.

    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:51 No.4774566
    Create a shadow smith.
    order it to wear the skin of the dead smith as to not vanish due to light.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:54 No.4774579
    now we're properly equipped to solve our gold problem. I say we just go out and mug a whole small town, and we'll be good. maybe steal their cattle somewhere in there.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:54 No.4774580
    Okay people, lets vote:

    Level up the low craftsdorf skill that keeps fucking us over by practicing in the forge while we wait for Cultist, or go kill Heracles now and then get healings from Cultist? If we choose the first option, we'll still go kill and usurp Heracles once we're done here.

    And give that blacksmith a proper burial...inside Lolth's stomach.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:55 No.4774585
    Should probably add "make a weapon out of anything" to bearbeard's powers since well... Thats what he seems to have been doing.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)04:57 No.4774604
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    Presley makes some shadow servants! He can't quite get them to fit inside of a person and use him as a puppet body, however, so he just suggests we feed the blacksmith to Lolth.

    He has that already. "Everything's a weapon."
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/05/09(Fri)04:57 No.4774608
    >And give that blacksmith a proper burial...inside Lolth's stomach.


    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:59 No.4774624
    >Everythings a weapon

    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:01 No.4774637
    It only has to go into the blood veins.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:02 No.4774646
    You could take some of his skin and use that to cover his new “gnome”
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)05:02 No.4774650
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    Lolth is pleased.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:03 No.4774656

    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:03 No.4774660
    Okay, so, one food to lolth, only need a jillion more. Where are we, exactly? Some kind of smithy in a city?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:04 No.4774670
    Idea: feed Lolth's children the chaos arm.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:05 No.4774671
    Look guys, it's not that hard: go kill Heracles and take his shit now, or level up in craftsdorf, get healings from cultist, and go kill Heracles and take his shit after we do those two things?
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/05/09(Fri)05:05 No.4774672

    CRAFT seems to be what beat the shit out of us in our fight with Musclebeard. His craft beat us senseless.

    It makes sense. We are out of touch with the one thing that is truely dorfy. Crafting.


    Not only so we can forge our own weapons. Adding craft to our dorfyness will make us complete. We shall beat him next time.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:05 No.4774676

    wouldnt we end up with an army of chaos spiders?

    Good lord, we have to do it.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:07 No.4774686
    See if they can eat the shadow creatures too!

    Hell, see if he can't whip up some shadow spider food.

    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:08 No.4774688
    beardbeard don't know no crafts, and he can never learn, due to no logic score.
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/05/09(Fri)05:10 No.4774702
    ..Oh well.

    And if he were to suddenly gain a logic score he'd start sucking.

    Currently he PIERCES THE HEAVENS WITH HIS DRILL because he doesn't know he shouldn't be able to do half this shit.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:11 No.4774707

    Okay then, CRAFT it is. Not so much to win Musclebeard Round II, since we blinded him and he is therefore easy meat, but to make sure that we can make the shit we need to slaughter Heracles like the cycloptic bitch he is.

    And so that, in the event that we can never get any sort of healing, we can simply turn ourselves into a cybernetic abomination.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:12 No.4774714

    His logic score doesn't mean that he's too stupid to learn crafts, it means he's too crazy to ever consider doing something other than what the voices in his head (aka /tg/) tell him to do.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:13 No.4774726

    But in that case, he doesn't know that he shouldn't be able to learn to do CRAFTS now does he? So he'll do it without any logic score if he feels like it!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:13 No.4774727
    Food situation first. 'fore the spider eat the Kobolds.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)05:14 No.4774732
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    "So, Presley, what does this 'Gnome' thing do?"

    "It makes shoes."

    "...No really, what does it do?"

    "It... It makes shoes."

    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:15 No.4774736
    Go read Girl Genius for an idea of what Beardbeard with CRAFTSDORFSHIP SKILLZ would look like. Being able to slap things together and have them actually work doesn't necessarily make either him or the things he creates less crazy.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:15 No.4774743
    Thats not useless at all! Shadow labor force!
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/05/09(Fri)05:18 No.4774774
    At least them making shoes would be a source of income.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:20 No.4774783
    "Except for the one over there that steals underpants. I'm not sure what he plans to do with them, but there you go."
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)05:23 No.4774817
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    >That's not useless at all!

    They present to you, a shoe.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:24 No.4774823
    Could try talking our way back into power at buzzardloved.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:24 No.4774831
    See! useful!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:24 No.4774833
    He will PROFIT thats what he will do.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:26 No.4774850

    Isn't he cute?

    Practice our CRAFTSDORFSHIP by making the gnomes METAL PUPPET BODIES as payment for the KICKASS AXESHOE.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:27 No.4774857

    Shhhh! That motherfucker's already fagging up half the front page, do you want him to show up here too?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:27 No.4774858
    we should REALLY get around to lopping off the other leg and putting another axe there- I mean, we GOT the laborers right here to make us a stubaxeshoe
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)05:29 No.4774869
         File :1244194146.png-(35 KB, 600x400, 38.png)
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    ...A right-foot shoe.

    The gnome flees, giggling madly as it does so.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:31 No.4774884

    Warn the next victim of its underpants thievery in advance. That'll teach the little bastard.

    Meanwhile, weld our gimp foot into the AXESHOE. Then it won't matter which foot it was supposed to be for.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:32 No.4774894
    let's get another one, but for the other foot. and might I say again that we should lop off the right leg to fit into the shoe?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:33 No.4774900
    Solution: Wear it on our hand,since its a little better crafted than the spider claw.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:34 No.4774908
    Find a mirror and switch the shoe with its reflection. Then it'll be a left-hand shoe.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:34 No.4774914
    I am in awe at this
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:35 No.4774922
    Critical anatomy failure.

    Sorry, I meant "left-foot shoe".
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:36 No.4774931

    This, a thousand times this.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:37 No.4774937
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    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/05/09(Fri)05:39 No.4774954
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    >Find a mirror and switch the shoe with its reflection. Then it'll be a left-hand shoe.

    ...May I worship you as a god?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)05:39 No.4774960
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    >Lets get another one
    Beardbeard politely requests a left-foot axe shoe of the gnomes. They graciously accept.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:40 No.4774967
    good god what have you done.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:41 No.4774975
    sharpen axe shoe with stone and test it against a nearby halfling.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:43 No.4774987
    Well, sure, if you want to do things the sense-making way.

    Let's go chop up that chaos arm. We've got enough axes for it.

    Speaking of which, what happened to our demon axe? Do we still have it?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:43 No.4774989

    No, test it against an elf. See if they become even girlier after you use your Castration Kick on them.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)05:44 No.4775001
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    The gnomes, rather than make a new shoe, find another gnome to trade with. In the blacksmith's bathroom mirror.

    We still have it. Beardbeard just hasn't been able to use it recently, due to heavy mutation of his hands.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:45 No.4775011
    wow, BB is only a dorf in spirit by now, isn't he?
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/05/09(Fri)05:46 No.4775016
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    Why am I imagining beardbeard groin kicking an elven man.. only instead of splitting him in two there is PUFF OF SMOKE and suddenly a little girl in the frilliest dress ever is there in his place?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:46 No.4775019

    For some reason this picture makes me think Beardbeard would be awesome as a behemoth of mutation mixed with axes and shields in a hideous conglomeration.

    That or he should find some way to regain his dorfen form.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:48 No.4775030
    see what happens when you feed gnomes to lolth
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:48 No.4775031
    because this is dorfquest!

    BB, scratch nads and lets set out to pwnt some elves with new boots of axe.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:49 No.4775053

    Yeah, our hands are so fucked up we probably can barely manage to hold an ale mug anymore.

    As a stopgap solution until healing can be found, practice our craftsdorfship by making new hands for ourself until we get some that are actually usable.

    Also, if that eye attached to the back of our neck is usable except for the lack of nerve connections, and we're currently missing a left eye, why don't we just graft the neckeye into the empty eye socket? We can use our webhands that we're replacing with metal hands to keep that wound closed after we take the eye out of it.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:53 No.4775088
    If we can't wield it in our hands, we can wield it in our teeth.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:54 No.4775091
    maybe tie it to our head.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)05:54 No.4775096
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    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/05/09(Fri)05:58 No.4775131
    Dammit, Lolth!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)05:58 No.4775132
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    There are no obvious immediate repercussions.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:00 No.4775147
    oh quit crying presley, we're dorfs, were heartless and fearless. now unbunch your panties and squeeze some juice out of those gnomes.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:01 No.4775160
    We dont want to get him mad at us.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:02 No.4775165
    well then, problem solved, have presley make some shadow steaks for the spiders.
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/05/09(Fri)06:05 No.4775184
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    >no obvious immediate repercussions.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:05 No.4775187
    I can't shake the feeling this won't end well...
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:05 No.4775188
    Nice idea, but let's be cautious.

    Ask Lolth how she's feeling. We should make sure that eating shadows doesn't make people sick.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)06:09 No.4775214
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    With this massive pile of shadow steaks conjured up, and an army of Kobolds guarding the cave, you decide to wait until your wounds have healed and your newly born army arrives in the mail before doing anything more. Except maybe booze runs. You will probably do a few of those before the eggs hatch.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)06:10 No.4775224
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    BEARDBEARD GODSLAYER, Dorfen Berserker
    Current Quest(s): Conquer Region, take Heracles' divinity

    ALCOHOLISM: sated
    GOLD: 19,725 at Buzzardloved - none at hand.


    Vestigial Wings
    No Left Eye
    3rd eye on back
    What Hands?
    One Breath
    Poison Immunity

    Iron Axe
    +8/+10 Two Handed Axe of the Pit
    1 Torch
    Overworld Map
    Hydra Armor
    Wooden Leg
    Map to Beardbeard's Kingdom
    Golden Sceptre
    Antimagic Bird Cage
    Dragon Armor
    Gnomish Axefoot
    Silk Cape
    Spiderarm Axe

    Presley and Cheska
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)06:11 No.4775238
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    And now for Super Happy Fun After Doodle Time. Yay!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:13 No.4775249

    Unless you've had a change of heart and we're going to get to head back to Aldwinside after all, pics of the wedding and honeymoon.

    If we are going back to Aldwinside, then we damn well want to see the wedding and stuff during a session.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:14 No.4775264
    Check in on the real satan
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:16 No.4775281
    I wonder if new satan is trying to be evil 'cause he may have just inadvertedly solved world hunger.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:21 No.4775317
    This shadow thing breaks so many laws and would cause so much trouble that my mind will shortcircut if I think about it for too long.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)06:22 No.4775326
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    Aldwinside is coming back eventually, yes, but I don't know yet whether or not it will be before/during/after their wedding. So just as a failsafe, I'll draw a wedding pic now.

    Goldmoon is standing in for Aldwin's parents.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:24 No.4775336
    lollan at mah-mees wat face.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:24 No.4775339
    You know, that just reminded me that we don't know anything about Aldwin's parents.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:24 No.4775345
    Draw Aldwin's parents!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:24 No.4775348

    She's going "She's starting to show oh god why couldn't you have married her a month ago you bastard"
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:25 No.4775353
    Don't worry, I'm sure it's going to bite us in the ass eventually.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)06:26 No.4775363
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    The real Satan's status is not changing without outside intervention.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:27 No.4775370
    Well, so much for Goldmoon's anonymity.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:28 No.4775377
    Kav. We haven't heard from her since she burned down the forest to escape Nevada.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)06:29 No.4775379
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    Okay. Welcome to the reason he went on to try and be an adventurer instead of a craftsmen.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:31 No.4775401
    Now i'm sad D:
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:33 No.4775415
    We need to kill off all of the gods that we can absorb and then kill off the rest and give there essence to gods/mortals who are frendly to us.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:33 No.4775421
    Cept for Xom
    Stay the FUCK away from him.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)06:34 No.4775422
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    She's been gathering some boys.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:34 No.4775432
    This. But put her in something like gothic lolita fashion.

    Given how she looks in frilly black lingerie, she should look equally good in a frilly black dress.

    As long as she keeps the cig, anyway.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:35 No.4775437
    >We need to kill off all the gods so that we can become the OmniGod

    Fixed that for ya.
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/05/09(Fri)06:39 No.4775464
    Someone recap what happened here?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:40 No.4775469
    Djinn ate Satan
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)06:43 No.4775490
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    >Gothic Lolita Kav
    Now you're just playing to my weaknesses.
    >> Fuuka the Fey Mood 06/05/09(Fri)06:44 No.4775493
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    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)06:45 No.4775505
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    This happened.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 06/05/09(Fri)06:53 No.4775555
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    Dorf Quest archive link, because it hasn't been linked in a while and I think Fuuka here missed a few.

    Good night, /tg/.

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