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  • File :1244174360.jpg-(22 KB, 275x311, confidence.jpg)
    22 KB Anonymous 06/04/09(Thu)23:59 No.4772110  
    Let's be honest. PCs are cocky sons of bitches. They see themselves as King Shit of Turd Mountain. This can lead to painful, hilarious, bitter or even fatal faux pas, especially in the face of authority. What are your best stories of cocky PCs getting themselves into shit?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)00:08 No.4772182
    Bump, night /tg/ moves fast.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)00:14 No.4772216
    Generally not taking social situations with very important figures seriously enough. One particularly ditzy player *slapped the ranger general of Athel Loren* for a perceived insult while a guest in the Wood (warhammer fantsy).

    The elf had her soldiers hold the player down while she messily took a hand with her dagger, as a trophy and punishment. he player basically sulked and refused to play the character.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)00:14 No.4772222
    I've been playing this horribly cocky wizard in my groups latest game. I'm just waiting for my ass to get kicked. I'll let you know then.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)00:17 No.4772251
    I once knew a guy who played a warrior (possibly half-orc?) who wandered into a very gothicky city. The entire place was all grimdark. Eventually the queen gets wind of the PC's exploits and invites him to "dinner."

    The queen is a vampire.

    Somehow, despite the pale skin, unholy grace, and tendency to drink red stuff out of goblets made of skulls, the PC does not notice this.

    He simply thinks she's hot.

    Finally, she invites him up to her bodoir for a little after-dinner "dessert." Undressing happens.

    She then proceeds to take a chunk out of his neck.

    After considerable commotion the PC escapes, terrified, to flee the city and the country entirely.

    He never went back.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)00:23 No.4772301
    My VtR players tend to troll the more powerful NPCs (they call the prince "fresh").

    So far: They got their asses kicked by the Gangrel primogen, they got fear frenzied by a powerful Nosferatu, and they got verbally abused and threatened by a diablerist. Good times.

    Thing is, they're actually in-character. The two trolls are a mary-sue doctor based on House (which I allowed because he's the best roleplayer of all of us) and a douchebag romantic comedy and action movie actor who gets by on charisma rather than actual acting ability (this is reflected in his stats as well). So I was expecting both of them to be arrogant, rude, disrespectful to authority and perverted.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)00:25 No.4772311
    I once had a PC convince the party that killing two guards in front of a castle (who would not let them in) was a good idea to gain entrance. They kill the two guards and waltz inside.

    They were somehow surprised to find that there are more soldiers in the castle than they can handle.

    They then bitched and moaned about how I always put odds against them.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)00:26 No.4772317
    I play all of my characters at least courteously.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)00:32 No.4772361
    The first time I played DnD I managed to piss off a level 15 mayor by backtalking to him, to the point he took a crossbow out of his desk and was prepared to shoot me.

    he then critical missed twice in a row. The DM described it as the mayor as so sick of my stupidity, that he shot himself in the face with the crossbow and died. The entire party was instantly level two.

    He then let me take the crossbow as a trophy, and shoot magic missles out of it (I was a sorcerer) just for shiggles.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)00:33 No.4772378
    I just teached them to fear the Shadow (WoD) by having a fucking telephone rending their faces, at the first hint of being cocky. Best to learn thing first.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)00:34 No.4772383
    I had a DM who was cocky with every single NPC in the campaign. he tried starting 2 groups. he only ever DMed 2 sessions. the campaigns failed 2 times. the worst thing about a cocky DM is that they can make the cockyness for good reason.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)00:37 No.4772407
    V:tM game I was in. We had some weirdass shit, like my poorly played Malkavian, a Toreador raver and DJ, a Tremere who never showed, and another Tremere who backstabbed his family of Hermetic sorcerors by giving their secrets to vampires.

    But the best incident involved our Nosferatu, who was a douchebag (in character, not the player himself) that enjoyed playing pranks on people, and our Ventrue, who had 5 Resources and 5 Fame by this point.

    The Nosferatu decides that in order to work on his Potence to justify taking another dot when he had the XP, he wanted to go get a side of beef to punch. And to feed to his ghouled attack dog. So he used Obfuscate to go invisible and hiked over to the slaughterhouse district.

    I'll note that the Ventrue's player wasn't supposed to be showing up this session.

    So, when the Nossie walks into the slaughterhouse, he uses Obfuscation to make himself look like the Ventrue. Then he purchases the side of beef with money he'd previously "acquired" from said Ventrue. And he decides to walk back home carrying the side of beef over his shoulder.

    He wasn't an idiot, mind. He did make sure to reapply the invisibility before he started his hike. Except he botched the roll to activate the invisibility. He did NOT, however, fuck up on a roll to maintain the disguise as the Ventrue PC. So in-character, he thought he was invisible until he got back to the haven and one of the other PCs spotted him before he tried to deactivate the invisibility.

    It was at about this point that the guy playing the Ventrue called to say that he was going to be showing up after all. When he arrived, the first thing his character got when he woke up the next night in-game was a tabloid (it was set in London) with a front page picture of himself carrying a side of beef through the streets. And none of us told the player what was going on until he figured it out in character. It was amazing.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)01:23 No.4772712
    >When he arrived, the first thing his character got when he woke up the next night in-game was a tabloid (it was set in London) with a front page picture of himself carrying a side of beef through the streets. And none of us told the player what was going on until he figured it out in character. It was amazing.

    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)01:33 No.4772828
    my first session we started off naked in a dungeon, and a huge clay golem was guarding the door. so I attacked it with a salvaged hand mallet. we won, but only after i got my head smashed against a wall a few times. of course we could've just talked to it's master, which is what we eventually did, but hey, barbarian like smashy-smashy.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)01:39 No.4772875
    One time, my druid and his necromancer best friend took on goddamn 20, 200 HP elite royal guards of this goddess. All the other party was fleeing. Our chars were level 11 or so.

    The DM was like "Alright, after a protracted battle, they take you captive and strip you of your gear..." and I was like "FUCK NO. WE WILL ROLL THIS SHIT ROUND BY ROUND OR YOU WILL JUST DECLARE WE WIN."

    The DM kept it up for a few rounds, but it became pretty goddamn clear that the fighter horde couldn't do shit against our lower levelled casters they outnumbered 10 to 1, so he gave up and said we won.

    Later we met their goddess, and he dumped out a bag full of their heads out in front of her.
    >> The Shadow 06/05/09(Fri)01:41 No.4772898

    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)01:43 No.4772925

    I would congratulate you if you weren't playing casters. I just feel like you dicked over your DM.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)01:46 No.4772956
    Hey /tg/

    I'm running a campaign with good characters, so I'm forcing them to have at least one Paladin at all times. Only problem is, I've been making them fall for doing evil acts (brutal things like Smiting wounded enemys which is cruel and exessive) and they keep dying without their powers (their god sends somebody to hunt them down lol) so we're on like the eighth Pala by now.

    One of players threatened to quit the campaign after he prayed by saying "O Shining One" instead of Pelor and I told him he fell because he couldn't be sure his prayer power got to the right place (just like you have to say "Hello Jesus" before praying AFK or you'll be helping Satan).

    My question is, how can I get them back into playing Paladins? Should I do like a quest to get their powers back, or maybe just make their gods punish them more directly so they get the point (LIGHTNING BOLT LOL)

    full (but growing) list of things they fell for:
    - used Smite Evil on a goblin who only had 3 HP (overshot it by 18 lol)
    - shouted "have at, evildoers" while the wizard was casting, which could have interrupted his spell
    - stepped on an ant
    - racist comments ("foul orc", "disgusting creatures" when they found goblins living in a sewer)
    - bought bread from an innkeeper at a lower price because the innkeeper was scared
    - lit a torch even after I told them the sparks could fall on the wizard and he'd burn to death

    Thanks in advance,
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)01:47 No.4772959
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    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)01:49 No.4772985

    >I'm running a campaign with good characters

    >so I'm forcing them to have at least one Paladin

    B does not follow A.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)01:51 No.4772997
    It's troll pasta, ignore it.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)01:51 No.4772998

    Wow, this is copypasta already?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)01:52 No.4773005

    Kill yourself. They'll start playing paladins again for sure.

    What was that shit about not addressing Jesus in prayers thus it goes to Satan? Jesus Christ man, where the fuck did you get that little nugget? You're being ungodly strict, and if I didn't KNOW someone like you, then I'd call you a troll.

    You don't happen to live in Maryland USA do you?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)01:54 No.4773019
    Group gets sent on a diplomatic mission to The Underdark. Half-Ogre and Kender's idea of entering the city was to attack the guards at the gate. Upon entering the city, the cleric of the group sees where things are going and decides he's going to wait in an inn for the 'diplomacy' phase to finish. He made a great hook for the new characters who were rolled up after the eventual 'Thief tries to steal something, gets nuked, Ogre goes 'Zerk, dies' moment.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)01:57 No.4773034

    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)01:57 No.4773038
    Nah, this DM would send completely insane encounters at us, all the goddamn time. I guess the way that I put it sounds like I was bullying the DM, but actually when the DM thought they couldn't win, he was like "I'm sorry guys, I didn't mean to make it that hard, etc. etc."
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:03 No.4773076

    He's a troll. It's pasta.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:11 No.4773136
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    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:12 No.4773146
    wat haf god wrought?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:12 No.4773147
    I DM'd a character who recently was "reincarnated" into a different race. He then made up having a vision and hurried on down a trail to another town, the rest of the PC's didn't seem to care... they shoudl have.

    This player then entered the town during mid-day when all the men were out working at a lumberyard. He went to the house of his old friend only to find that his wife was the only one there. Given the character's new body he begun to weave a tale of lies to the high charisma wife, about how he and her husband died from a red dragon attack.

    She was heartbroken and the PC used this weakness to basically force himself on her. He was found out, was wanted for the crime of rape, and was hauled back to a Temple of Tyr (Faerun) They castrated him and put him in the stocks for a tenday...

    I don't like when my PC's rape people. lawls
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:42 No.4773445
    Nothing a quick regeneration spell cant fix.
    But seriously...did he FORCE himself on her? Or did he seduce her, and she accepted him?

    There's a difference from being a douchebag manipulator to actually commiting the crime of rape.

    If she consented at the time, it's not his fault.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:50 No.4773523
    As a DM', I'm rather strict with my storylines. I dont railroad, but I certaintly know how to guide player behavior properly. I dont force them to follow a storyline, but I make them pay the consequences for not doing so.

    However, one really cocky player had rolled up a relatively power-gamed character.It was a young, but powerful Paladin of Mystra, who was multiclassed into Sorceror and Spellblade.Anyhoo, as the story progressed, I had set in my heart that no matter what would happen, eventually the players would be unable to defend the Princess , and she would die.

    But not Paladin boy. He held off an entire swarm of daemons and crazy shit all by himself, using a halberd weapon to cause trip attacks, keeping himself mobile, as he held off the GRAND majority of the monsters coming for the princess. By himself. Completely surrounded.

    So his friends could escape with the Princess into the catacombs, where safety would be assured.

    Every attempt I tried to do to sneak a few monsters by him? Criticals. Trips.Spells. Trips. Not one got through by him...for 15 fucking rounds.

    Not one got through.

    The princess manged to escape.

    He didnt.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)02:51 No.4773531
    No he didn't force her, but since it was under false pretenses, it could be considered rape. Also in this instance she consented because she thought her husband was dead and needed comfort. Which means it was diabolical when she saw her husband alive... like a delayed violation. Eitherway a very CE thing to do.

    Ironically the cleric in the party wanted nothing to do with him after this instance. Turns out helping Rapists/Adulterers isn't in Lathander's portfolio.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:04 No.4773657

    Now THAT is straight-up heroic.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:05 No.4773678
    Depends on your intepretation.
    Chaotic, and quite evil?
    But it's not even CLOSE to being againts the law; specially when she consented, and she's not denying that she did. People make mistakes and they pay for it- she allowed herself a moment of weakness, and got pleasure and comfort out of it- and then she, to placate her guilty conscience dares to go to some bleeding heart liberal god to punish someone she willingly bedded?

    This is ludicrous, and patently ridiculous. If I had been that player, I'd have pressed charges by going to the Temple of Helm and the Magistrates of the Kingdom and explaining my case. The Tyrrans had absolutely -no- jurisdiction to judge him, and he had commited absolutely no crimes of any sort.

    He bedded her; and she was an adult and willing; under no duress of the magical or chemical sort.

    Laws arent about what's good or evil- it's about what's the law.

    Had I been that character, It'd have been on. They take my balls, I take theirs.

    It'da been a fun campaign .
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:07 No.4773694
    For being a minmaxing jerk, that's a very paladin way to die.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:07 No.4773697
    I'm crying manly tears here.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:21 No.4773804
    I found it very fitting.
    The encounter really wasnt meant for players to "win"- the creatures werent interested much ion the players. just killing the Princess.

    That is, however, until the Paladin put himself in a a 15 foot hallway and gave his best impression of King Leonidas. "THIS IS WHERE I FIGHT, THIS IS WHERE THEY DIE."

    And boy, he held that line.

    I had to give it to him.
    15 rounds is a lot of time for the Princess and the PC's to evacuate.Though now that i think about it, without all that cheese he had, he would have never been able to do that- I wasnt pulling any punches.

    Maybe some powergaming CAN help a story out.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)03:38 No.4773932

    TELL me you rewarded that player somehow.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:14 No.4774253
    >Maybe some powergaming CAN help a story out.

    Yup. This is why I actually encourage my players to be avobe-average in terms of optimization. Because then they *can* pull off right crazy heroic (or villainous) stunts without the need for me to obviously fudge things (they notice when I do that).

    I will always remember that time where a tribe of vengeful hobgoblin king whose shit they had ruined raised an army and threw it after the players - who happened to be staying at Wizard's home city. Most of the players wanted to bravely turn tail and flee, evacuating as many as possible...

    Cue Wizard going "Fuck you all, that there is MY home, and those they're terrorizing are MY family, and none of those shitheads are getting through as long as I'm alive" (exact quote from the player).

    Man, that was a master lesson in using a cheesed-out Wizard for mass control. While everyone else evacuated, he and a 150 men strong militia (made up of Warriors of level 2 tops!) held at bay around ten times that in numbers and many more in strength, and only ended up falling because he *ran out of spells*.

    I was honestly impressed, and ruled that everyone had managed to get away - and, ignoring the rules for a moment, I also allowed the Artificer to say he'd rigged the main square of the city to blow up when the remaining army entered it, because he was impressed too and wanted to do a bit to help the cause.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:21 No.4774310

    Sure is epic in here.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:37 No.4774449
    >and only ended up falling because he *ran out of spells*.

    What? He didn't have a crossbow?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:41 No.4774471

    Yes, but a crossbow versus the two hundred and something remaining hobgoblin Fighters and Clerics didn't quite save his ass.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)04:46 No.4774520
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    sir I do no think English has the words to describe just how epic that win was *bows*
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)05:32 No.4774892
    Well, our party has just been arrested for killing three humans in a tavern brawl. One of these men was killed by the halfling mage's aunt.

    With her bare hands.

    And it was her who started the fight in the first place.
    >> The Shadow 06/05/09(Fri)08:52 No.4776174
    In one of the earliest sessions the PCs had to get into a sex show that had a bouncer at the door. Instead of paying, and failing their diplomacy checks, they decide to fight their way into the show. One of them starts to fight the bouncer, and a round later some cops on their beat (who they had seen earlier) hear the commotion and show up. I was being nice and the cops let them off with a warning. The PC leaves, while the cops and bouncer go inside to talk about the incident. But the PCs decide to try again. This time all of them burst in. One of them intimidates the bouncer into fleeing, one of them shotguns a cop who gets knocked out and eventually dies in hospital, while the third cop is disarmed and handcuffed. After all that after the party gets what they want from inside the theatre, they uncuff the cop, treat the injuries of the wounded one, and basically say "No hard feelings?" The conscious cop agrees, while the PCs take off.

    Two days later the PCs are disappeared in the middle of the night by the police force who they knew were very corrupt.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)08:57 No.4776194
    I contemplated fighting off a room of 40~ goblins who were sleeping, but couldn't come up with any ideas better then Bottle neck at doorway and regret not picking up cleave. With lack of resources, I grudgingly snuck by the room.

    I play a LN monk like an pompous arrogant whore, but I don't think the other players liked his personality so I stopped.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:00 No.4776210
    "You reach a blackened charred door, one trembling hand reaching out, you stop as you wonder what terrible creatures await you...
    Do you take 3 deep breaths and resolutely face whatever horrors lurk behind the door ...
    Or do you rub your proboscis with your forlegs, checking instantly in all directions for danger?"

    "Err... I rub my thingies and look for danger."

    "You are a fly." *bop them with a rolled up newspaper*
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:02 No.4776220
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:05 No.4776231
    Did they build a statue of him?
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:07 No.4776239
    Abandon this shitty dump and come here instead: www.AnonTlak.com (l <=> a)

    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:08 No.4776244

    He was more of a man than you could ever hope of becoming. I would gladly become his woman!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:20 No.4776294
    First PG group i ever GMd: second level WIZARD tries to brawl a city guard. The rest of the party watched him getting beaten like a bongo.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:23 No.4776308
    I don't play my Druid like a cocky son of a bitch but the only time I started to act a bit selfish the hammer came down, not even healing would really help. Bare in mine we're level 3 or so, a Druid, Duskblade and a Binder.
    Walking through a forest known for evil spirits (on a mostly unknown continent in search of ruins) and other nasties, we stumble past a few trees. Something was eerie about a certain large tree (detect magic didn't detect the tree, but it did catch a smaller tree nearby) as my Knowledge: Nature would tell it was... a Darkwood tree! Oh boy, wish I'd prepared Wood Shape this morning. I ask ouir Dwarven duskblade to hack me a big chunk.
    Holy shit, there was a Dryad in the tree that I detected, it was kind of pissed. We took arms and started fighting.
    The fight was not in our favour at all. Damage reduction amongst other things meant I was running out of spells and we couldn't take it down. Luckily my badger compnaion shared my Produce Flame and shot the Dryad a good few times with angry badger flame spitting, and she gave up.
    Had I have known the Dryad was linked to that tree, I would not have hacked her up and even though my Druid is all about the earth and stuff, he uses a feat that allows him some spontaneous healing and I cured the bitch up. We spend the night near our tree 'cos no evil forest monsters would dare go near a crazy dryad. Continued!
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:23 No.4776312
    A good night's rest and no Wood Shape prepared again, we decide to head off early to make our way to the ruins. We go on and on until we're told to roll will. Me and the Duskblade, being Dwarves, pass with flying colours. Our binder...
    ...her eyes go hollow and she starts screaming at us, swining away and a Spellcraft check makes me realise she's been possessed and we know who would hold a grudge to do that. Right, this bitch is going to die. With a partial resist roll, the Binder manages to pluck up enough willpower to tell us it IS the Dryad, and uses a spell that sinks everything up to her head in the ground so we can go. The Dwarves charge.
    Our DM is a very good player in terms of mechanics and his motto for powergaming is "You can't roleplay when you're dead" so he knows what he's doing. Entangle at will is fucking stupid though, our advance was ground to a halt as the Dryad had every means to keep us still and take potshots at us, with us having no ranged abilities.
    100 feed of opposed strength checks where an 18-20 would pull us free and failed reflex saves, we're halfway to it where our Binder breaks free and pulls herself out of the ground. Our binder is also a clever person and uses her groundsink spell at will to go underground, breaking the entangle whenever she got caught and eventually burning the ground before her to get to the Dryad. In an awesome showdown of sinking herself from entangle, shooting at her with a bow and blowing fire in her face, the Dryad submits once again.
    This time we force her to take a pact that she'll never try to harm us, or let anything in the forests harm her if she can prevent it. That's the last time I ever hunt Darkwood without preparing Splinterbolt!

    I also have the story of when we were in an alleyway trying to get money and end up being sniped in the darkness by a city gang, where we managed to hold our own until I made a mistake in real life.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:24 No.4776317
    PC panicked and killed someone who had tapped him on the shoulder. Turns out guy was important, yadda yadda yadda, TPK.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:34 No.4776356
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:44 No.4776389
    Druid, Duskblade and Binder guy again, this time we actually had a plan.
    After a night of drinking between the Dwarves, our Binder for some reason wanted to get some money or something. A lone female in the night in an alleyway was asking for trouble but I guess thugs have some money or something. Two thugs showed up, a rogue and... a half orc monk.
    I wasn't sure what to think about this other than I was getting horribly drunk and they weren't, with enough alcohol to give anything without poison resistance a hangover that could kill.
    The monk meant business and after casting obscuring mist, the binder stood aside and changed forms to the rogue, trying the old switcheroo trick. The Horc asked him what his name was and once the answer wasn't given, a spam of flurry of blows continued.
    The Horc Monk actually BEAT the Binder down, took her money and walked away. Beaten by a fucking monk, that has to hurt the binder's ego.
    It did.
    I approach with my badger in my beard (My dwarf has con 18 and strength 16, meaning he can perfectly carry a badger in his beard. He even groomed it in such a way so he can carry Philip (yes I called my badger Philip) around), using it's scent ability to track her down and heal her wounds. She wanted payback and payment so we devised a plan.
    Next morning I started preparing a lot of non combat spells, notable of which are Camouflage, Mass, Listeners Lorecall and Master Air. I had no damaging abilities, I didn't think I'd need them.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:45 No.4776390
    When paladins fall, they suck. When a druid falls, he doesn't even get a full attack bonus. That's if Nature itself doesn't turn against him and every magical beast, monstrous humanoid, and fey spirit doesn't hunt him down and sacrifice him to the horned God of the Woods.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:46 No.4776392
    Needless to say I can see why summons are strong now. I took off my armour to get rid of the check penalty and cast camouflage on me and my badger and stayed in the shadows, taking 10 with my massive modifier and watching whilst the binder went to the same alley. We found out the name of the Horc and that he had roughed up some of the girls from a brothel we met a few contacts at (it did good beer for a non-dwarf establishment) and went to the same alley.
    The binder was much more prepared this time. By spamming a spell to give her temporary HP and a shield effect, every attack the Horc did simply bounced back on him once he failed his willpower wave. "Fuck this." he said, as he grappled, pinned and dragged her away. I followed behind, cautious and wanting to jump in.
    We turned corners and bends, luckily my dwarf was never really caught at all, until we heard the air swish behind us and two arrows landed through the Horcs head. Our money kind of died. We stumbled into some gang turf and was told to leave. Using Listeners Lorecall I could hear them and knowing that this had put a hole in our plans, I was pretty pissed.
    Casting Wood Wose, I asked it to track one of the people. Unfortunatly it was out of its reach of abilities so instead, my next turn was devoted to two things. Casting Master Air (which also affected my Badger) and running, grabbing and soaring above the rooftops, screaming if they've ever seen a pissed off, flying dwarf druid with a foaming badger in his beard.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:46 No.4776396
    The binder commented "You are AWESOME" in character and my blind sense from Listeners Lorecall helped out. I had no combat spells though! I did have summon nature's ally and upon finding one (the binder spent turns giving me and her temp HP) of the rooftop snipers, I unleashed hell and Crocodiles on hil. Croc in his face, it bit. The bite succeeded. The improved grapple succeeded. I dropped the binder off and flew to the other side, summoned another crocodile that also managed to grapple another sniper and was just about to melee when I checked the corebook...
    Crocodiles are a level 2 summon, I was using level 1 slots. This was my first caster character so my DM was fair and said they just disappeared. By this time, our Binder was happy to hack at the defenseless sniper with a crocodile on his face, I think she missed a few times. By the time the shit was hitting the fan, we'd taken a good amount of arrows (fuck yes 18 con) and they were getting reinforcements.
    My last turn of Master air involved a mad dash of 90 feet movement to get the fuck out, hide with my insane modifier and wait for the others back at the brothel.

    All in all, it was a pretty fun night, even though we got into heavy shit and I didn't prepare a single combat spell. I'm going to always keep Master Air on my spell list in future though.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:49 No.4776407
    As a Druid Variant (Nothing major. Our DM has said no Natural Spell, which I proposed anyway as it's fucking stupid. I swapped Woodland Stride for Rockland Stride so I can move over rocky terrain easily and Resist Aberration's lure to represent being a more eathlike druid), I still feel obliged to be kind to nature, so I told them to spare the dryad. It was my fault for being greedy and thinking about delicious armour when a creatures life was on the line, that's just not right.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:51 No.4776416
    I rarely ever find myself being cocky, as a player. I tend to go for a more Reasonable Marine approach to things. If I want to know what's behind a door, but find a guard in the way, I approach the guard, offer food/drink/chatting opportunities, and work my way around to the topic of "So, why guard this door, specifically?"

    If a mayor is giving us a quest hook and is offering money to complete a task, I say "Just a moment, whilst I speak with my companions." Then, after we've decided to do the task, I approach the mayor and ask for a little advance payment, so we can buy specialized equipment, to make the job possible.

    My DMs tend to hate me, though, because I can circumvent Diplomacy checks by being crafty.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:54 No.4776425
    That's actually pretty awesome. Good on you for thinking like a rational human being.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:55 No.4776428
    i was playing the cocky but common senseless bruiser starting at level 1. the party had just been asked to deliver a payment for a valuable package. on the way out of town, i invite a drunk for a tag along and share a bottle of wine and acquire transportation by intimidating a wagon driver after discovering a bundle of quality spears he was smuggling out of the city. the drunk, while i'm driving, steals both the rest of the wine and the spears, so i'm pissed. we finally exit the city and are confronted by a nicely equipped swashbuckler-esque character who asks where the original driver was. being pissed, i tell him i'm not taking any lip and the original driver was delayed. he sees through the bluff but doesn't call me out. next he asks where the spears are, and i tell the truth that some bum stole them. he gets pissed, assumes i'm lying, and calls me a thief and a traitor. i, having not jiggled my leggings for this lip, am pissed and attack. . . it goes. . . poorly. in the end i'm knocked unconscious and the man carves a symbol into my cheek that means something akin to thief or traitor. being the smart fellow that i am, i cover my face with mud to hide the mark. the campaign just continued to improve from there.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)09:58 No.4776437

    Thank you, but I generally play elves. I like me some Dexterity, and to disprove the whole those-guys-are-total-assholes thing.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)10:05 No.4776461
    Commendable at least. I'd love to do the same with Paladins to show they can be awesome and not total assholes but epic feats of awesome with a regular paladin seems kind of blah with the class the way it is. I should start suggesting the Revised paladin or something.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)11:01 No.4776741
    One of my players likes to annoy spellcasters. Especially PC spellcasters. He plays fighters, and occasionally takes feats that allow him to use spell-like abilities, like Necropolis Born or Communicator, from the Complete Arcane book.

    Quoth the Fighter, "No, you go ahead and save those spell slots. I'll just handle this right here. *Pelvic thrust* COMPREHEND *Pelvic thrust* LANGUAGES *Pelvicthrustpelvicthrustpelvicthrust*"
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)11:06 No.4776766
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    Aku approves.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)11:10 No.4776792

    My next character. It has been selected.
    >> I CLUB SEALS 06/05/09(Fri)11:10 No.4776793

    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)11:16 No.4776827
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    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)13:04 No.4777501
    one day the party chaotic neutral druid and I the Chaotic good elf cleric were boerd, so we made a box out of wood and would peer into it and not let anyone look while we giggled and lauged and the contents of our secret box.

    Every time the party rested we would unclip the secret box from my belt and like overexcited schoolchildren peer into the box- and remark how this secret box was indeed woundrous.

    So- as you do, we were assaulted by warforged or an owlbear or some group of something big and nasty- and while I was off buffing or something- the party fighter (a blue haired mary sue) snuck the secret box from my belt- and in the aftermath of the battle brandished it valiantly above his head, zelda style.

    He then proceeded to open it- didnt say the safteyword, triggering the ward, failing his reflex save, and had a devvlish squid summoned then catapulted at his face.

    While he struggled to get it off his face, the druid and I mentioned casually

    "stealing's wrong, bro"
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)13:11 No.4777547
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    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)17:29 No.4779789
    this thread is awesome and needs to be at the top of every page in every forum.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)17:32 No.4779807
    Placard on statue says, "Do not touch."

    PC touches it.

    Legs cut off.

    No save. :)
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)17:40 No.4779866
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    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)17:53 No.4779977
    While i was gm-ing, i shut whole party in a jail (as a part of story - not that they didn't actually deserved it). Anyway, obviously they tried to escape. They killed whole legion of minor guards, sum guard beast, and boss-like enemies, to just be half-cut in numbers by a narrow path above cliff, which bottom was filled with poles. And, no... i wasn't trying to be mean then. I just though that if they can easily kill one enemy with single blow, dexterity test wouldn't be anything to be scared of.
    >> Anonymous 06/05/09(Fri)18:04 No.4780039
    You better archive this, /tg/! YOU BETTER!

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