So fucking wrong.
Change Medic with Demonman then Demoman with Soldier.

Sage, Sage Sage, Sage! Sage.

im comfortable with it. you have to be a certain amount of sick to want to deal with explosives, and a certain amount of professional to continue living doing it. hes good where hes at.

Scout is crazier than Medic.

WTF is the Blue Spy doing among all those Red characters? To sneak him into the chart must have taken some kind of tactical genius...

Nah, he's egotistical, sure. But he's not a nutter like the Medic is. IIRC something about the medic being reminiscent of a experimenting Nazi doctor.

>>4687896
He IS an experimenting Nazi doctor, it's in official fluff.

I think his place should be swapped with soldier though, he doesn't seem that professional.

>>4687910

The Soldier is batshit-insane, but he's fucking professional about it.

>>4687891

Scout isn't crazy at all. Spy is crazier than scout, and Sniper is the epitome of Professional not-mentally-sick.

>>4687910
"Raised in Stuttgart, Germany during an era when the Hippocratic oath had been downgraded to an optional Hippocratic suggestion."

>>4687930
I'd agree. Scout is just a jackass who doesn't take anything seriously and the Sniper is certainly less mentally unstable than the Spy.

SPAH has problems.

>>4687910

Where is this official fluff? I would like to know more about the characters.

>>4687962
No he doesn't, at all. He sneaks around and kills people, he doesn't seem to take too much sick pleasure in it or anything.

>>4688012
Just because he's not loud about them doesn't mean he doesn't have some psychological issues.

>>4688012
No feelings. Whatsoever. A total sociopath.

>>4688022
No feelings? You know who has feelings? Blokes wot bludgeon their wives ta death wiv a golf trophy!

>>4688026
I'm not a crazed gunman dad!

>>4688026

Sniper hates soldier for his inability to control his rage. It's obvious.

>>4687986

There is some under the Meet The videos on www.teamfortress2.com

Check the one of the Soldier, it made me lol heartily

>>4688040
More like the soldier has no trigger discipline whatsoever.

He's not raging, he's just an idiot with a rocket launcher who thinks he's an American GI.

I also second Medic switching with Soldier. Maybe Pyro with medic, Medic with soldier, and soldier with Pyro.

I agree demoman needs to swap places with medic

Yeah the medic isnt that insane, he's just a little disregarding to doctors oaths. Switch him with the demoman, then swap demoman with soldier.

Isn't healing just a side effect of whatever the medigun is actually doing to his teammates?
Also: Engie is bar none the most stable and professional of the whole lot.

Demoman is a self-hating suicidal scottish cyclops. They've got more balls of cocks then they do the likes of him.

I mean, seriously, look at him; he's got a manky eye.

Self-loathing is a mental sickness, alright.

>>4688101
Engie is also an intelligent sounding man with a Texan accent. He defies all sorts of stereotypes.

>>4688101

The basics behind the medigun itself was an unexpected product of unrelated research, which was probably just research into developing the Übermensch. I think the Übercharge is the original primary function of the medigun.

>>4688112
And eleven PhDs.

>>4688112

He's an engineer. He could be straight from the Ozarks holding a giant whiskey jug in one hand and his sister's crotch in the other and he'd still be fucking intelligent in order to be in the profession he's in.

>>4688102
>They've got more balls of cocks then they do the likes of him.

wait what

>>4688093
a little disregarding? He's got a fucking gun that fires Hypodermic needles AND a bonesaw (Then a bonesaw WITH A massive hypodermic needle on the fucking end of it!)! Not to mention the medigun. How do we know how that thing specifically works?

Also, "ooops, Zvat vas not medicein!"

He's a professional loony toon.

I could see the Demoman being put in the highest mental sickness tier, though.

The Medic isn't even a doctor or a medic, no real professional credentials.

>>4687930
Have you heard the Sniper's new taunts? He has some fucking MAJOR anger issues. We're talking borderline tourrettes here.
Spy is also a bit of a nutjob, seeing as he absolutely loves running around stabbing people in the back (seriously, he laughs his head off ALL THE TIME if you're doing well) but he doesn't let it get in the way of his sneaky-bastard work ethic. But then, they're ALL completely fucking nuts in their own way.

If you think about it, the Engineer and Heavy are the two most stable characters in the game: Engineer does his job well and takes pride in his work. Heavy is big, simple, and loves his guns. No philosophical conundrums for Heavy; they're bad, I'm not, I have a gun. IS GOOD TIME TO RUN, COWARDS!

>>4688119
>holding a giant whiskey jug in one hand and his sister's crotch in the other

Sounds like a great way to spend a Friday night.

>>4688149
Might be because he got stabbed in the back by Spy.

If you look at his face now, you can see the scar from meet the spy.

He's pissed.

>>4688149
Heavy cemeted it for me the fact that huge dudes with thick Russian accents are fucking awesome.

>>4688154
Actually, fun fact: You can only see that scar on Snipers who are using the Huntsman. Regular rifle-using Snipers don't have it. I thought that was neat.

>>4688160
huh. interestin'.

>>4688160
>>4688154
Hahahaha. TF2 of all fucking things has a meta-plot of sorts now?

>>4688176
Yep. They're even adding in new taunts every major update, but including MORE taunts for the class that the character being updated 'hates'.
For example, the Sniper has several new taunts for killing Spies; for meleeing spies after the Razorback saves you, shooting spies in the head with the Huntsman, capping spies who are fully cloaked etc etc etc.. Compared to the one or two new taunts he got for each other class.

Similarly, the Spy now makes cracks about the Scout's mother and does terrible impressions of him being 'scared by rainbows' etcetera.

>>4688176

There's a fatguy in the ranks of the people responsible for TF2.

>>4688149
The heavy is hardly stable, he howls with laughter as he mows down the opposing team.

>>4688220
So does everyone else, and the Heavy doesn't try to lie about how awesome it makes him feel. He has a big motherfucking gun and using it makes him feel FUCK YEAH, so why shouldn't he get an adrenaline high?

>>4688221
The English-sounding ones are... professional. The angry slightly-more-aussie ones are a bit psychotic.

"You're making this so easy, I'm actually getting worse."

>>4688221
"Now I've gotta make a necklace outta yer teeth. Bushman's rules."
He's crazy alright, but it's the subdued and slightly disturbing kind of crazy as opposed to the "WWWOAAAHAHAHAAAH, KILL ZEM ALL!" clearly fruitloops kind.

>>4688149
>>Have you heard the Sniper's new taunts? He has some fucking MAJOR anger issues. We're talking borderline tourrettes here.
He's an Australian. That's how they speak.

>>4687837
Spy is spy!

>>4688243
The different types of taunt actually seem to be based on distance. If they're right up in his face and he kills them with a melee attack, he generally uses a loud one. Up close with a ranged attack, usually a whisper.
Mid-range he generally yells at them, whereas at extreme long range he just whispers to himself, presumably because they wouldn't hear him even if he did shout. If they weren't dead anyway, that is.

"SORRY THERE NURSE, I MISTOOK YOU FOR AN ACTUAL THREAT."
I love that one.

>>4688280
"You got blood on my knife, mate!"
I risk all for pointless kukri kills just so I can hear him shout that one line.

The feeling in my pants never quite goes away after that.

Have you noticed the sniper occasional mumbles now as well? I havent been able to hear what he actually says, but he occasional cracks a mumble when aiming down the scope

Heh heh heh... Makin' bacon.

The Soldier isn't professional: He was turned down for every armed force he applied to, and then proceeded to go to war by himself.

the spy and sniper both consider themselves to be professionals, but they both have tendances to break their professional 'shell' - the sniper throws jars of piss at people and yells insults, and the spy laughs maniacally if he's doing well. The sniper is more sensitive about it, though.

The Medic, he's not so much professional as desensitized. He's used to working around piles of bodies, with lots of them being directly due to his experiments.

The Heavy isn't stupid. He's slow, deliberate, and simple, but he isn't stupid. He's actually very professional, he does what he does and does it well, and only really gets into the whole 'wrestling posturing' mode if he's mowing people down.

The Engineer is strange.. he is a genius engineer, but seems to lack finesse and subtlety, or cunning. His solution if a gun doesn't work is to use more gun, not to build something else that does work.

>>4688355
You know the amount of snipers charging straight at me with a knife seems have increased lately.

We can all agree that the pyro is fucking loopy as shit, right?

>>4688176

>>Hahahaha. TF2 of all fucking things has a meta-plot of sorts now?

They're testing characterisation and scenarios for when they announce the feature film collaboration with Pixar.

Search your feelings, you know it to be true!

>>4688510
...I'd watch it.

LADIES! ENTIRE TEAM IS LADIES!

>>4688510

GODDAMNIT

I KNOW IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN

BUT I'D SELL MY LEFT KIDNEY TO WATCH IT

FUCK

>>4688510
I'd prefer a cartoon series. It'd be awesome.

>>4688510
I'd be all over that like a fat kid over cake.

brb, fetching cake.

>>4688510
Actually, surprisingly likely.

>>4688432

the next meet the video will feature Snipers suicide, as he is removed from the game. None of the other classes will quite get over the loss, and every week their max HP is lowered as they lose the will to fight.

After one month the Snipers father, SAXTON HALE, Australian, replaces sniper on the roster, and tears everyone elses heads of with his bare hands.

Then Valve will release Team Fortress 3: We Make Weapons And Get In Fights.

I like to think that the opening of Meet the Pyro will pick up at the very end of Meet the Spy where the RED spy stands up from picking up the pics of Scout's mom, turns around and is greeted by the business end of a flamethrower.

Demoman: Kill 'em all! Raaaa--Ugh! *Whacked across the bonce with a blackjack*

*Time passes, and the demoman comes to in the spawn room and trussed up*

Demo: Eh? What's going on?

Sniper: Ah, y'see mate, we're in a film now, yeah?

Demo: Right...

Sniper: And in films the black guy always dies first, right?

Demo: Mah name's no' "Bubba" ya focken convict!

Sniper: OK, OK, fair play an' all, but y'see, we got to thinking... if we can keep you in the spawn room, you can't die - and if you can't die FIRST, then none of us can die LATER, either. So, we should be able to win with a lockout!

Demo: ...

Sniper: Uh, no worries, right?

Demo: [CENSORED]

>>4688489
Also, wrench taunt for evil genius laughing.

>>4688489
But more gun does work.

>>4688559
Unlikely, since the Meet The vids are all from RED's perspective. But still would be awesome.
>>4688561
I lol'd heartily.

>>4687837

You are now imagining this chart as an alignment chart, with everything in the same place.

>>4688521
Not the worst TF2 genderbend conceptually, definitely one of the worse art-wise.

>>4688265
Well, time to visit your mother!

>>4688570
Well, Meet the Spy was from Blu's perspective, but it was still about the Red Spy.
You know, is Saxton Hale the only character in the TF universe that has an actual name?

>>4688569
If your problem is "SPAH SAPPIN' MAH SENTRY" then having a bigger sentry doesn't help matters. More gun is better at gun then less gun, but it's not better at not gun.

>>4688510
GOD YES

>>4688596
Build guns to cover your guns.

>>4688596
Sitting next to your gun slapping everyone getting close does.

>>4688521

>>4688521
>>WHITE! ENTIRE TEAM IS WHITE!
Whyyy

>>4688521

Why does the sniper have an eyepatch and the demoman have two eyes?

>>4688633
Better?

>>4688521

...I find I rather like female Heavy.

Scout: Huh... so, what you're sayin', doll, is that I'm not a real person, just a character in some video game, and everything I do is just, like... entertainment for a bunch of nerds who like watchin' me die?

Hacker: Yes! You realise! You understand the truth they've hidden from you!

Scout: ...AWESOME!

Hacker: Now, come with me onto this flash drive and we can escape this nightm-- wait, what?

Scout: You mean that I'm a set character model, so I can eat whatever I want without losing a bit of this great body of mine? Woh-pah! Whow! Muscle pose! Hooh-ah, whachow!

Hacker: It's not--

Scout: And I can show a bunch of spotty coke bottle-lensed goons how a real man gets on with things?

Hacker: It's not supposed to be like this! You're supposed to weep and wail about the horrors and futility of war and rage against the system!

Scout: And hey, you know what they say - leave a beautiful, corpse. Ain't that right, babe? *wink*

Hacker: Auuugh!

>>4688516
fucking seconded.

>>4688671
I'd like to, but her face is like 80% match to a friend of mine.
And while he's a nice guy, I don't want to fuck him.

>>4688670
DEAD EYED MONSTROSITIES

>>4688664
Sniper has eyepatch to help with sighting along scope.

Demogirl has both eyes because of artistic license.

>>4688695
>because of ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL

ftfy

>>4688670
No, also awful, just for the opposite reasons. The art itself is much better, the problem is with the entire team of identical supermodels. That has fucking nothing to do with TF2. They're just generic women in slightly class-related clothes.

>>4688709
Engineer.
Until neither of us could walk.

>>4688709

Sniper.

That hair!

Those freckles!

>>4688714

Here's one I saw on another site

>>4688709
Pyro.
I'd probably end up dead in the morning, though.
>>4688531
/co/ came up with a lot of episode ideas, once.

>>4688732
That one looks like a mix of genders.

That would be a cool option to add.

Yo, Valve, you listening? Make genders a player option. We're kinda tired of all-guys. Too much gay.

>>4688750

They're all girls, they're just not hyper feminine and they're the same silhouettes so it's hard to tell in some cases

>>4688758
You sure? Spy, Soldier, and ironically Pyro, they all look like dudes.

If Valve ever adds female options to TF2, I'd like the female versions of the classes to be different in personality and style to the male ones. I like the Spy being an elegant Chinese lady in a cheongsam like in >>4688521. I like the female Heavy being a dykish, "We Can Do It!"-style woman as in >>4688732. I like the Demogirl being a punk like in >>4688709. Similar to the male classes, but not identical.

>>4688732

This is the most realistic one so far. I like how the artist actually just made them look like their counterparts, so they're not all generic copypaste supermodels with class costumes.

>>4688777
Best Answer.

FUND IT

>>4688791
Instead, they are copy pasta archetypes with gender switch....

Not saying I dislike it, but being generic 80s is half the charm of TF2.

>>4688771

Look closer, Spy is wearing lipstick and Soldier has a lady face.

They just don't look like pretty princesses because they're fighting in a war.

>>4688777

And each of those female classes is going to need a new "Meet the..." video.

>>4688805
they look like MEN. Not women in man-clothes, MEN.

REJECTED

>>4688726

Is very good! Would hit like jackhammer, but I has Sasha to think about!

I just like the Rule 63 because it's something to fap to.

And my fetish.

Fuck you /tg/.

Eh, I wouldn't want female character-models in Team Fortress 2. Sexual politics would cramp the style and spoil the matey, gregarious charm of the characters. It's fun to imagine about in fanart, but it's a bad idea for the game proper.

>>4688818
Honey, come back to bed!

>>4688816

Because female warriors should all be perfectly feminine and easy for you to fap to amirite

>>4688709
I feel bad for choosing medic.

>>4688857
Choosing medic for what?

>>4688870

You know who else would do the spy?

YOUR MOTHER!

>>4688841

Surprise!

>>4688867
stuff.

I also just realized that this picture is like WINX CLUB except with GUNS.

>>4688732
This is just adding lipstick and tits to the class picture. They don't even try to disguise it.

...Works for me. I'd do spy.

BABIES! ENTIRE TEAM IS BABIES! MAMA WILL TAKE CARE OF ALL THE LITTLE BABIES!

>>4688888
oh no you didn't

>>4688888
>>4688914

Quiet, maggots!

>>4688510

A film would be dandy, but there doesn't seem to be enough substance as it is. Considering that their greatest enemies are themselves in a different coat of paint, that might be odd from a story perspective unless they were going for a good and evil doppelganger approach. Hmm.

>>4688932

Is not good.

>>4688921
The meet the class videos, particularly meet the spy, runs with the idea while at the same time not really talking about it. It's just taken for granted that the red spy is just like the blu spy but red.

>>4688900
Now we're talking.
Looks somewhat female, also actually looks like heavy (remember, Valve did it all by silhouette.)

moar like this

>>4688709
Now i know where i have seen that soldier.

>>4688888

I'd be stoked if Spy did my mom. It'd be like the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I'd brofist him on his way out the door, too.

>>4688932
I... actually kind of like this.

>>4688932

Russian sniper girl is an awesome idea.

>>4688950
Some of them are looking a little ethnically challenged.

>>4688921

I've put up a couple of scene suggestions:

>>4688561
>>4688676

-but it would probably need some overarching plot, you're right.

Say that the characters are aware that they're in a videogame and all they do is just going to be replayed over and over again - but they don't mind. They know what they love and they love what they know, and that's fighting the over team! However, in the real world, the anti-gaming lobby is getting stronger and stronger - and the annihilation of TF2 is one of the objectives in their sights! Or even worse... changing the game in a secret patch to be... ugh... NICE, with flower-arraging instead of CTF. The horror!

The Red Team and the Blue team must overcome millions of play-hours of animosity and have to work together to defeat this threat, introducing the lobbyists to the joys and raptures of digitised violence. Fun, topical, and it has an opportunity for Jack Thompson, Keith Vaz and Joe Lieberman to be tarred and feathered.

>>4688962

Your suggestions are retarded and completely lack the humour and character of TF2. Stop failing.

>>4688962

That's quite like a morbid Pixaresque storyline. Too bad Jack Thompson has already been tarred and feathered.

>>4688962

Let's do this, gentlemen.

>>4688974
Let's not.

>>4688962

Or, have the characters be real mercenaries in the real world. The Red Team and the Blue Team are rival combat squads for the shadowy covert corporations which control the world from behind the scenes, but now their new missions are far more important than horse-trading African tinpot republics over a round of Gold Rush... the race is on, as they quest across the world to discover the ancient, buried secrets of the Green Team and the Yellow Team, and uncover a terrible new foe older than time itself...

>>4688962
>topical
>Jack Thompson

Is it 2005?

>>4688992

What the hell is wrong with you? Have you even played Team Fortress?

>>4688992
The older team fortress guys?

In Old HL1 graphics?

>>4688709
Oh jesus, the Medic.

Until we both ended up bleeding.

>>4689013

>>Have you even played Team Fortress?

Well, being mercenaries fighting for shadow-governments is part of the game's metafiction:

http://www.teamfortress.com/movies.htm

>>4688900
man that thing is phallic

>>4689053
THE GUN IS EVIL
THE PENIS IS GOOD

>>4689027
And, being a medic, she could just break out some bandages and keep going.

>>4689031
I still prefer the JJ backstory, which is that they're all actually the same person (or rather, people). That is to say, every medic is the same medic, every soldier is the same soldier. They're just 'respawned' by hyper-advanced cloning technology.

Unfortunately this forces them to live through endless deaths and resurrections and horrible black spaces and as a result they are therefore all completely insane. Most of them can deal with it and are therefore at least halfway functional, but the protagonist goes completely fruitloops and by the end of the story he's battering snipers to death and eating them to hide the corpses. Then he loses both his arms while trying to headbutt someone wielding a shotgun and starts vomiting blue crystals, if I remember right.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7iWoHRoY9s

spy taunts if anyone wants them

>>4689271
yeah, spy is fucking insane.

>>4689403
'At least you died for honor- And for my amusement!'

>>4689271
sniper lives in his van?

Seriously, what the hell?

/v/ is that way =>

also, reported

>>4688709
WHY IS PYRO NOT WEARING A MASK
PYRO WILL BURN WITHOUT A MASK

>>4689437

It looks like a motorhome, so it's plausible. It's physical, honest labour, being an international assassin - you're always on the move.

>>4689128
Or just do it under a constant medigun stream. You'd never get tired!

>>4689453
Actually, /v/ is in the other direction. The only boards to the right of /tg/ are /toy/, /trv/ and /x/.

>>4689128
>And, being a medic, she could just break out some bandages and keep going.

One word.

Supercharge.

>>4689524
>Supercharge.
Übercharge i think you mean

>>4689528
I don't know how to umlaut...

>>4689530
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Unicode_characters
or just google "(whatever character) with umlaut"

>>4689505
he's an assassin, not a crazed gunman.

>>4689530
Dunno how your keyboard looks, but i just smack the button top next to enter.

ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ

tf2 is now WoW related material

enjoy yer grindan

>>4689585
I play on private, non-steam servers. I don't get any achievements/weapons/whatever, so there is no grinding.
I must say its much better like this.

>>4689582
I think it might be that my keyboard is a standard English QWERTY keyboard and yours is probably some continental European one.

>>4689567
one's a profession, the other is mental sickness!

>>4689624
probably

åæø

ąęćżźńłó

>>4688743
Several times actually.

>>4689635
>>4689629
Where the hell are you from, man?

>>4689658
random guess, Poland.

I'm probably off.

>>4689666
you're right

>>4689680
D:

Oh shit.

>>4688932
I just like the pyro's hair

>>4688941
Time to break out my TF2 63 folder

Last one. Didn't like it as much.

>>4689717
What the shit? Equestrians? In MY TF2?

>>4689714

NUN MEDIC IS THE BEST MEDIC

I imagine she'd have an Italian accent.

Wait, Poland's got øæå?
Give back our letters!

>>4688596
medic's name is Heinrich Meinpeckaizschwolen

>>4689722
We got öüóőúéá and í

And, on a related note, some fucktard had the bright idea to swap Z and Y.

My revised version.

>>4689705

>>woman wearing a kilt.

*Eyebrow twitch*

>>4688503
I actually disagree. We don't know anything about Pyro except that he likes his job, and you can accuse all of them of that. It's not like he spends his off-time lighting things on fire, whereas you KNOW demoman is out back yelling at birds and throwing satchels at trees.

>>4689795
..|.. :D ..|..
Welcome to 2009. Stop living in peat-roofed shacks and accept that the Scottish manskirt has entered the meaningless melting pot on the fringes of North American pop-fashion,

>>4688732
This doesn't make sense. Scout's been given a useful weapon roughly approximate to the nailgun he should have.

>>4689795

Fun fact: in all of my time here on 4chan, that's the first time I've ever used the Rageface image.

I feel as though something significant's moved in the world.

>>4689864
and how sad you must be, if something that insignificant made you rage enough to use it.

>>4689864

My bowels.

>>4689898
Take a fucking shit then. /tg/ really needs a bowel movement right now. I literally can smell it coiling through your intestines right now, shit's so backed up.

>>4689913
Get your nose out of his ass, then, if the stink bugs you so much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7QIcxoJU4g&NR=1

>>4689931
touche.

>>4689844
What the hell is the point of Scout in the first place? Does he actually run faster than the others? I haven't played TF2.

>>4689979
Yes, and he jumps, something no-one else can do.

>>4689979
He runs much faster, can double-jump, and counts as two people when claiming territory points.

>>4689979
He's fast and has a shotgun.

He's really fast.

>>4689994
>something no-one else can do

>>4690001
Also when pushing carts and such. Which is a bit odd. You'd expect the heavy to count double there, not the scout.

>>4690002
He is also SO SMALL. IT IS FUNNY TO ME.

Causing enemy players to froth at the mouth in RAGE when they are "bonk bonk"ed to death in a game where everyone is packing a huge goddamned gun.

That is the point of the Scout.

>>4689979
Hes faster, can double jump, and his shotgun is better than everyone elses. He is an amazing skirmisher.

>>4690028
Which is why I main scout!

>>4689941
epic win

>>4689979
The Scout is kind of a big deal. If you were from where he's from, you'd be dead.

>>4690027
wait wut

>>4690028

Not just skirmisher, but ambusher. I can't count how many times i've seen someone momentarily distracted by a sentry or something, run up and put two shotgun shells in their back for an instant kill. So obnoxious!

>>4689717
>>4689714
>>4689708
>>4689705

These are pretty nice, though I think that they should be, well, somewhat more dissimilar from their male counterparts.

Unfortunately, the only cliche I can think of is the classic female spy in a black mini-dress.

>>4690476
O hai, nice pic.

BTW did you finish that loli-pope picture?

>>4690476

>>4690675

Not quite; I got halfway through with it (and all the rest) before things got a bit busy and my free time went away. Fortunately, I seem to have acquired some more time to screw around, so I'll try and finish those before the weekend hits.

>>4690773
Thanks for the heads-up. I thought I missed a thread.