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  • File :1243443314.png-(165 KB, 400x426, ring of three wishes.png)
    165 KB Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)12:55 No.4680279  
    Quirky magic items thread.

    Ring of Three Wishes:
    This beautiful silver ring is set with three rubies. When worn the ring will vocally make three wishes. Once the third wish has been made the wearer disintegrates.

    Ring of Chameleon Power:
    A simple wooden ring that triples the length of the users tongue. Any action involving the use of of the wearers tongue will gain a +10 bonus.

    Ring of Wizardry:
    This delicately crafted brass ring is covered in elaborate esoteric runes and markings. Wearing it will instantly dry off any character with at least one level in wizard.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)12:59 No.4680310
    Ring of Spell 'Turning'
    When the wearer is struck by an arcane spell, the ring produces a prestidigitation effect that spells out, audibly and visually, the word "turning" in the wearer's native tongue. If the wearer has no verbal or written language, the ring functions as a ring of spell turning.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)13:22 No.4680507
    Scroll of Scrolling:
    A scroll that comes with a little black bar drawn along one of its sides. Running your finger along the bar will simultaneously make one end of the scroll roll itself up, while the other end unravels.

    Helm of opposite alignment:
    Despite the wearers best efforts this helmet never seems to fit his head quite right.

    Potion of Spider Climb:
    This potion allows the user to climb spiders. Any arachnid touched by the user must make a fort save or turn to stone and act as an immovable rod as long as the user maintains hold on the creature.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)13:40 No.4680623
    I love this thread but have nothing to contribute.

    Carry on.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)13:42 No.4680646
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    >Ring of Chameleon Power:

    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)13:43 No.4680655

    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)13:45 No.4680666
    >Any action involving the use of of the wearers tongue will gain a +10 bonus.
    You must be the best girl in the whole brothel.

    I don't know enough about DnD to make any clever puns though.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)13:50 No.4680708
    >Ring of Chameleon Power:

    You know, this one could actually be really useful. A foot-long prehensile tongue could be put to all kinds of uses, not including sexual ones. It basically gives you another manipulatory appendage.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)13:50 No.4680709
    >Scroll of Scrolling:
    Think of the combo with symbols of insanity/command/other!

    Staff of the Ram:
    This plain looking-staff, when given the command word, grows two large horns from it's tip. Counts as a spear for proficiency.

    Rod of Lordly Might
    Owner of this rod gains Droit de Seigneur up to three times a day, or more if he's up to it. Afterwards, the owner must make a fort save of be fatigued.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)13:52 No.4680723
    >Ring of Three Wishes:
    >This beautiful silver ring is set with three rubies. When worn >the ring will vocally make three wishes. Once the third wish >has been made the wearer disintegrates.

    That is the most retarded cursed magic item I've seen since the Robe of Powerlessness. No save? Insta-kill? Way to lose players.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)13:53 No.4680731
    And a way to steal food from across the room.

    Chameleons have projectile-tongues remember.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)13:56 No.4680741
    The average ability score is 10 right? So with +10 to tongue related skills, this girl can give blowjobs at peak human abiltiies EVERY TIME, and possibly better than any human.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)13:57 No.4680756
    She can lick your ovaries.

    From the inside.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)13:58 No.4680760
    ...Post the rest.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)13:58 No.4680765

    oh god.....
    jar jar binks......
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:00 No.4680781
    She/he is the CAPTAIN AMERICA of blowjobs. And analingus. Think about it.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:02 No.4680806
    [Weapon name] of wounding

    During combat the weapon will make snide remarks at friend and foe alike. The subject of such insults suffers -1 on any attempted Will saves.
    >> Goblin Samurai !kt9KaaFQCE 05/27/09(Wed)14:02 No.4680808
    Ring of Three Wishes (None of which are for you): For all intents and purposes this ring looks and is usually identified as a Ring of Three Wishes, but it also emanates a slight aura of Illusion magic, this is because when it is put on a characters finger, a magic mouth appears on the ring and loudly states three wishes, as determined by rolling 3d%, one for each wish.
    1-50: "I wish that nothing would happen"
    51-60: "I wish for (a monster that constitutes an easy challenge for the ring wearer as determined by DM)"
    61-70: "I wish for (a monster that would constitute a fair challenge for the wearer)"
    71-80: "I wish for (a monster that would constitute a very tough challenge for the wearer)"
    81-90: "I wish for something intresting to happen" (roll on rod of wonder table)
    91-95: "I wish he could have his wish" (player gets to make a wish)
    96-99: "I wish something REALLY intresting would happen" (DM choice of anything)
    00: "I wish for HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR" (TPK)
    (Note, the magic mouth speaks in Micky Mouses voice)
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:03 No.4680811
    >Scroll of Scrolling:
    >Think of the combo with symbols of insanity/command/other!
    You can also put scary images at the bottom of the page.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:03 No.4680818
    and at the same time, no less.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:04 No.4680825
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    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:05 No.4680837
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:08 No.4680860
    ...i am so aroused right now.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:09 No.4680865
    Bag of Unuseless Items

    Three times daily, an item may be removed from the bag. This item will always be functional and potentially useful but never without another specific item. For example, an unsharpened pencil, an axe handle, or an empty lantern with no wick would all be acceptable products of the bag.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:09 No.4680867
    Boots of Haste
    When activated, makes your legs move really fast. You must succeed on a DEX check (DC 15) or trip yourself whenever you try to move. You take -20 on all balance checks.

    Periapt of Health +8
    Buffs your CON as normal, but only works if used as a buttplug. The periapt is rather large and jagged.

    Oil of slipperiness
    So slippery that the stopper won't stay on the bottle, and the oil itself readily spills out.

    Belt of the elffriend
    Grants you +2DEX and low-light vision. As long as you wear this belt, elves find you hauntingly desirable. Regardless of their alignment, gender and social standing. The effect ends when you remove the belt.

    Bag of Holding.
    It sticks to your hand, or causes cramps. Whenever you try to drop the bag, you must succeed on a Will save (DC22) or fail.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:12 No.4680893
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    Towel of Absorption - Like a reverse Decanter of Endless Water, this towel absorbs any liquid it is placed over. 1 square foot of this towel can hold up to 10 gallons of any liquid, which can be retrieved simply by twisting the towel and squeezing (the liquid drains at a rate of 1 gallon per round.)
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:13 No.4680904
    Necklace of Fireballs.

    This necklace is made of at least 10 small red orbs. Each of these orbs is made of a spicy, delicious candy. These candies confer no magical effects other than tastiness.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:14 No.4680919
    How much bleeding damage would that do if you stuck that on someone's wound?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:15 No.4680930
    I am so ordering one right the fuck now.

    Just to help fight Scientology.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:15 No.4680932
    I was thinking magma and acid actually.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:15 No.4680936
    this is supposed to be for goofy and useless items, not useful and valuable ones.
    >> Belisaurius 05/27/09(Wed)14:16 No.4680941
    This staff may not be damaged or destroyed under any circumstances

    Axe of MANLINESS
    Any female character wielding this item is temporarily turned into a male character. No effect on males or elves.

    Instantly fatal when swallowed. Causes cataclysms when spilled.

    Ring of Animal magnetism.
    Any animal with this ring in it's possesion gains a strong magnetic field. Characters must pass a strength test to hold onto weapons while near this animal.

    Resonance stone
    A round crystal ball about the size of an egg. Vibrates eternally for reasons not yet understood.
    >> Guardsman Ted 05/27/09(Wed)14:18 No.4680951
    >Ring of Animal magnetism.
    Any animal with this ring in it's possesion gains a strong magnetic field. Characters must pass a strength test to hold onto weapons while near this animal.

    Oh so easy to abuse. Just add spikes!
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:20 No.4680972
    >Resonance Stone

    There are one hundred and twenty-seven of these in all of creation.

    They must never be united.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:21 No.4680979
    >Resonance stone
    Come ON, who can't see a use for that?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:22 No.4680987
    >A round crystal ball about the size of an egg. Vibrates eternally for reasons not yet understood.

    I can think of some uses.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:25 No.4681012
    I see what you did there.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:33 No.4681063
    >Potion of Spider Climb:
    >This potion allows the user to climb spiders.

    I laff'd
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:33 No.4681066
    Dammit, can't find the picture. You know the one I mean.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:33 No.4681068
    Glasses of True Seeing: These glasses see everything. Whether or not they let the wearer see as well is up to the glasses.

    Codpiece of elongation: An enchanted codpiece that increases the length of the penis, but only as long as it is worn.

    Pen of dictation: This pen tells people what it wants them to write.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:34 No.4681080
    could be incredibly useful. Bring a bag of spiders with you and use some kind of control spell to make them climb up a wall, then just use them as stepping stones.

    Easily transportable ladder.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:34 No.4681085
    Lantern of Relieving:
    Lighting this magical item will transform the room the user occupies into a high class washroom. The illusion lasts 10 minutes.

    Bag of Tricks:
    This plain leather bag is filled with colorful rubber tubes. Once the user fills one with air and folds it, he must declare what it is. If the folded balloon loosely resembles the named item or creature it will function identically, otherwise it will explode with a rather loud pop!
    >> deleted 05/27/09(Wed)14:35 No.4681086
    could you make two wishes, then give the ring to someone else to make the final wish and disintegrate?

    Or could I wish not to denigrate?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:36 No.4681102
    I don't.
    No no, the RING gets the wishes.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:39 No.4681118
    Assuming the vibrations are at a constant frequency, then it would make an excellent component in a timekeeping mechanism.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:44 No.4681156
    Also a musical instrument, if it's audible and a pleasant tone.

    We're completely missing the obvious though.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:45 No.4681161
    >Potion of Spider Climb
    Useful against spiders.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:46 No.4681171
    "Quirky magic items" thread, not "can't be useful in any circumstances whatsoever" thread.
    >> Guardsman Ted 05/27/09(Wed)14:47 No.4681179
    No, continue along here citizen, nothing to see.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:50 No.4681201
    Meat Hammer

    This hammer will cause any wood struck by it to be converted into ham. Hitting the ham with it will turn it into doubleham.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)14:58 No.4681258
    Ring of Eyes: It is a ring with a large eye on it. When activated, the user will see what that eye sees. Only works when worn.

    Ring of Eire: It is a ring from the magical Green Island. Any food or drink touched by the hand wearing this ring will instantly cause it to change colour into various shades of green.

    Ring of Mad-Jick: A ring created by an insane jeweleer named Jickard. It is black, red and purple, and when you look at it you must make a Fort. save or become slightly nauseous.

    Ring of Free Auction - A ring that when worn, instantly makes the wearer win an any auctions in the vicinity. Only works once a day.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:00 No.4681280
    >Ring of Eyes: It is a ring with a large eye on it. When activated, the user will see what that eye sees. Only works when worn.

    I know a lot of rogues who would love to have the ability to look out of a corner by only sticking out a single finger out of it. Low level magic item, but greatly useful, I'd say. I like it.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:03 No.4681301
    Blade of the "I'm Mortal": When you wield this ordinary looking blade, you are overcome with the feeling that one day, you are going to die. Roll a Will save.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:04 No.4681312
    Gale of Marmaduke Amulet:
    Whilst adorned, a light wind follows the wearer, whispering "Marmaduke". Every day perform a form of sanity check.

    Broken Kraken Tooth:
    This massive item confers a painful toothache to it's owner.

    Helmet of True Knowledge:
    A rusty metallic helm that allows the wearer to know exactly what they wrote on a piece of paper, even if it's FLIPPED OVER!
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:04 No.4681314
    You... you...

    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:04 No.4681316
    Ring of Tree Wishes: A simple wooden ring, that will make any dream come true, as long as you are a tree of some kind.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:06 No.4681329
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    >Ring of Mad-Jick
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:06 No.4681330
    Dust of Freudian Allusions:
    This seemingly unremarkable dust will cast an illusion over any object it coats transforming it into whatever the inner ego of the viewer believes it to be a sexual innuendo for.

    Pipes of the Sewers:
    These enchanted metal pipes come in sets of two and are typically lime-green and wide enough to allow passage to a single medium-sized or large creature. If one end of both pipes connects to a flat surface instantaneous travel between the two locations becomes possible by entering the opening of one pipe and coming out the open end of the other.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:06 No.4681331
    Ring of Breadmaking.
    This ring's power can be used once per day to turn any object smaller than a house into an equally-sized loaf of bread.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:06 No.4681333
    Helmet of Through Seeing: Gives you X-vision, that makes you see through EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME.
    >> Guardsman Ted 05/27/09(Wed)15:07 No.4681346
    The world would never see night again.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:09 No.4681353
    Deck of Many Things
    Activating this scale model transports you to an extradimensional patio full of random items, monsters, and such, and one barbecue

    Bag of Holding
    When asked to, the bag will wrap itself around an item to prevent it from falling to the ground. It will give the item back to you when you ask it.

    Amulet of the Planes
    By speaking mathematical statements, the gem on this amulet will render Cartesian planes as per the request

    Belt of Dwarvenkind
    While wearing this belt, the wearer is forced to be nice to dwarves

    Feather Token
    May be traded at any shop for one feather
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:09 No.4681361
    X-Ray vision that powerful has to be at least equivalent to hitting what you look at with a high-level laser cleric's nuke...
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:10 No.4681365
    Flail of the H's - A big flail, with three heads, all shaped like the letter H.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:13 No.4681395
    Decanter of Endless Walter: When you pour anything from this cursed decanter, some dude named Walter shows up, and starts talking about anything and nothing, non-stop. Only way to get rid of him is to kill him
    >> Vector !NEy29ODpvs 05/27/09(Wed)15:13 No.4681397
    Wand of Disintegration

    When evoked, this wand disintegrates.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:15 No.4681422
    Sovereign Glue
    When applied to a ruling throne, the next person to sit in the throne is instantly made ruler of whatever the throne is indicative of (for instance, sitting on a king's throne will make you the undisputed king). The downside is that you are unable to stand up off the throne ever again.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:17 No.4681431
    Plus one sword.

    When in battle this sword has another sword magically appear on it at an odd angle. This gives -2 penalty to the wielder as it tends to throw the weight off.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:17 No.4681433
    That was woefully unsexy.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:19 No.4681451
    Not-A-Pipe: This Not-A-Pipe is capable of doing many things. One can smoke Not-Tobacco in it. You might be able to get a good deal of Not-Money for it if you sold it at the Not-Store. You could make a Not-Painting of it and start a Not-Art-Movement. Unfortunately, you can't do any of these things in real life as this is not a Not-A-Pipe, but only a mental representation of it that exists only in the context of a tabletop roleplaying game.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:21 No.4681458
    Depends on who you are. The net is vast and infinite.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:23 No.4681476
    Plus Five Holey Sword: When wielded, this sword sprouts five other swords at weird angles, imposing a -9 penalty to attack. The user must make a DC 14 reflex save each round or cut their hand on the many blades. All of the swords have rather large holes in them.
    >> Beergut !bgXjHelLKI 05/27/09(Wed)15:23 No.4681481
    Girdle of storm giant's smell: After being equipped, it renders the wearer to emit the same smell as a full grown storm giant.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:24 No.4681482
    But can you use it to link two command-line programs while running GNU's Not Unix / Linux?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:24 No.4681488
    >>4681476 Fuck it we're going to five blades!
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:27 No.4681509
    oh so exploitable.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:28 No.4681517
    No, only in Not-GNU.

    One time I was working on a computer with an operating system I had never seen before. I thought it was Not-GNU, but I found out later that it's Not-GNU, it's ME.

    (lol geek jokes)
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:29 No.4681528
    this is what makes me feel at home on /tg/
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:30 No.4681539
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    >> Shades of Grey 05/27/09(Wed)15:32 No.4681555
    A quill that makes the lowest form of common currency when tapped on a flat surface.
    It cannot write.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:34 No.4681570
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    Talking skull:
    This animate skull doesn't seem to do any magic, except talk day and night. Useful for keeping candles and ravens.
    The Mask of Madness:
    The white, featureless mask seems like it was sprayed with blood. Upon putting it on, the user loses consciousness for a round. After regaining it, the user is deeply hypnotized: he sees only other's internal organs, eyeballs and tongues, but as exotic fruit and flowers, all smelling wonderfully and seeming delicious- he cannot resist their charms, and is completely focused on harvesting and tasting them all. He gains +X (preferable high number) to damage, attack rolls, unarmed fighting, diehard and 2 extra attacks, and drops whatever he was holding, but is unable to react in a way other than "pick fruit" or try doing so. He also feels no pain, and cannot think of anything else but his current task. The hypnosis ends when the wearer dies, or there are no "fruit&flowers" left (including his alies')
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:34 No.4681574
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    Well laa-di-daa... dumbass.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:34 No.4681576

    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:35 No.4681577
    ...what kind of currency is common amongst all sentient beings in the D&D multiverse?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:36 No.4681589
    Averageing blade
    This magic sword can only deal at most, or at least it's average amount of damage. No magical enchantment or bonus to damage takes effect.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:38 No.4681598
    Robe of Disrobing
    As a free action this robe may fall to the floor regardless of how tangled up on the wearer it is. Note this will not take the restraints if any are on the wearer, only the robe.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:38 No.4681599
    Boots of Elevation: These boots have 6 inch blocks of wood glued to the bottom.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:40 No.4681615
    After the sword has been forged but before it has had a chance to be used in combat, it has averaged 0 damage per 0 attempts. How much damage does the sword do on its first attack?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:41 No.4681624
    Sorry, the average of it's dice in damage. A 1d12 always does 6. A 2d6 always does 7, so on and so forth.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:42 No.4681628
    Phylactery of Undead Turning: By saying the command word, this phylactery causes all undead within 30ft to turn around.

    Robe and Wizard Hat: Anyone may put on both of these items as a single standard action.

    Tome of Misunderstanding: This heavy book contains instruction on languages around the world, but entwined within the words is a powerful magical effect. If anyone reads this book, which takes a total of 48 hours over a minimum of six days, then she becomes unable to communicate with people properly, instead sounding like a bad translation phrase book. This effect is permanent.
    >> Shades of Grey 05/27/09(Wed)15:42 No.4681630
    Let's go with a single copper.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:43 No.4681641
    Actually, the average of 1d12 is 6.5 (1d4 is 2.5, 1d6 is 3.5 etc).

    I think that fact makes the item far better.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:43 No.4681644
    Golden ring of 3 out of 100.

    When examined looks like a simple golden ring examining it will reveal a simple enchantment of luck.

    At the stroke of midnight however the wearers soul is placed in the body of whomever is wearing the next ring.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:45 No.4681653
    Sovereign Glue: This glue is able to stick together almost anything. Unfortunately, it only works for kings, queens, emperors, and other such royalty.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:52 No.4681711
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:53 No.4681722
    The 12 rings of power.
    Bestowing immortality to any who wear all 12, one on each finger.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:53 No.4681725
    I lold.

    Ring of beauty.
    When you put this ring on a beautiful naked member of the opposite sex of your species(Just a beatiful member of your species if there arent genders) appears on your finger,your finger is in its butt if you remove your finger from the butt it turns back into a ring.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:54 No.4681739
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    Not a problem
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:57 No.4681758
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    I think I've already seen that anime.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:57 No.4681763
    >Bag of Tricks
    >If the folded balloon loosely resembles the named item or creature it will function identically

    "It's a snake!"
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:58 No.4681773
    What if my species doesn't have butts?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)15:59 No.4681789
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    Hyperdactyly for the win.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:01 No.4681802
    well, thats going to be rather painful for the both of you then
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:01 No.4681810
    Then a gibbering mouther appears on your arm/appendage/whatever. until you manage to remove it.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:02 No.4681818
    I adore this thread
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:03 No.4681822
    Polydactyly, dork.

    Unless they have fast fingers or something.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:03 No.4681825
    No no.
    The ring turns into a rust monster.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:03 No.4681826
    If I understand how this item works, I really like it.

    Each ring has an order to it (and I'm going to assume it's circular 100 -> 1) and you get transferred to whoever has the next ring and whoever has the ring before you gets transferred as well.

    You could get a lot of adventures out of this ("Oh crap! Who's body is this?!") plus some fun exploitation.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:05 No.4681833
    You are all wrong.

    A very surprised AO appears with your finger up his butt.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:07 No.4681847
    Flail of healing
    This +1 flail heals 1d8+1 hit points to whoever it strikes.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:07 No.4681850
    Potion of Eagle Eye: Your eyes become eagles, they stick their heads out of your eye sockets and screech menacingly at anyone who approaches you. The eagles will bite your fingers if you bring them close to your face
    >> Beergut !bgXjHelLKI 05/27/09(Wed)16:08 No.4681851
    Horn of basting: When this horn is sounded, all roasted meats within 20' become flavorful and juicy.

    Minor pick of tunneling: When this two inch tall pick-axe strikes soil/stone/clay/ect it creates a 5x5x40 millimeter tunnel to appear.

    Shield of Sonic resistance: Provides full protection from hedgehogs.

    Dwarven plate armor: Dwarf sized armor made of finely crafted dishes, saucers, tea cups, flagons, and a gravy boat helmet.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:08 No.4681858
    ...hyper doesn't mean fast, moron. It has it's roots in Greek and it means "over", "above", "more", etc.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:09 No.4681862
    Breastplate of Command

    This finely crafted +2 breastplate radiates a powerful aura of magic. When worn, the armor bestows a dignified and commanding aura upon its owner. The wearer gains a +2 competence bonus on all Charisma checks, including turning checks and Charisma-based skill checks with males. The wearer also gains a +2 competence bonus to his Leadership score with males. Friendly male troops within 360 feet of the user become braver than normal. Since the effect arises in great part from the distinctiveness of the armor, the wearer cannot hide or conceal herself in any way and still have the effect function.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:11 No.4681882
    >Dwarven plate armor: Dwarf sized armor made of finely crafted dishes, saucers, tea cups, flagons, and a gravy boat helmet.

    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:12 No.4681895
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    Well shit.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:13 No.4681901
    Bow Ring: A ring shaped like an arrow. When worn, everything will start to lose it's colour, and the world will become so dull, so dull.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:14 No.4681913
    Face condoms: When activated the user and all within reach of the condoms participate in auto erotic asphyxiation. All players participating must roll to see if their character chokes to death. If they survive receive +2 to any two attributes of the dm's choice.
    >> Beergut !bgXjHelLKI 05/27/09(Wed)16:15 No.4681922
    OK, here's one we actually used in a campaign:

    FrostFire-brand sword: Master crafted dual edge long sword. One edge is enchanted with firebrand, the other side is enchanted with frost brand. While the function normally, the conflicting heating and cooling of the nearby air causes a thick fog to issue forth while it is unsheathed. This fog obscures the view of anyone within 10' of the wielder. Let's hope you have blind fighting.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:15 No.4681928
    I added this one to the last one.
    Health potion of health potion.
    Turns your urine and some other bodily fluids into health potion!
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:17 No.4681942
    Ring of polydactility.
    When the ring is worn, you grow an additional finger on each hand.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:17 No.4681943
    Dwarf Barrel:
    This seemingly wooden barrel will protect one dwarf that enters it. After the user puts the lid on, its completely impenetrable and indestructible, and also generates water and apples for the dwarf inside it. Should the dwarf want to get out, he can do so with a simple strength check, but the barrel will be destroyed. If something else than a dwarf is put in and sealed, it will melt to a random alcohol beverage.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:18 No.4681948
    "Belt of the elffriend
    Grants you +2DEX and low-light vision. As long as you wear this belt, elves find you hauntingly desirable. Regardless of their alignment, gender and social standing. The effect ends when you remove the belt."

    Fucking awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:19 No.4681959
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:20 No.4681967
    Restful Bedroll
    Allows you to sleep soundly whilst falling down a hill

    Ring of Water Walking
    Allows you to form any number of legs at will from any body of water, which will carry you at walking speed until you dismiss them

    Ring of Blinking
    On command, this ring makes the wearer blink, as with the eyes. The command may be given by the owner of the ring, but it effects the wearer.

    Ring of Sustenance
    Is actually an onion ring

    Bottle of Air
    This is just an empty bottle, except any elf wearing green will absolutely do anything for you to trade it to them.

    Apparatus of the Crab
    This small case allows the user to disguise themselves at will as if using Disguise Self, as well as providing quality smokes.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:21 No.4681977
    Maybe it would be better if you gained something after fulfilling the ring's wishes. Other than instant disintegration, that is.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:23 No.4681992

    Almost. You need 13 fingers to wear the ring of extra finger and 12 rings of power.
    >> Beergut !bgXjHelLKI 05/27/09(Wed)16:25 No.4682005
    Potion of invisibility: This black oily potion renders whatever container it's in completely invisible.

    Potion of water walking: When this is mixed with water, the water will form into a 25 gallon orb with legs and follow the potion user until it 'dies' (1 hp, 10 ac) or evaporates.

    Ring of regeneration: This ring will recover 1d4 hp and 1 hardness every round.

    Greater ring of metal detection: This stone ring will will emit a tone every four seconds if any metal is within 150 miles in any given direction. The more metal within the radius, the louder the tone, 1 decibel per ounce of metal.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:25 No.4682010
    Hyperdactyl is not a word, whereas polydactyl is. The hyper thing was a joke, too, Mr. Downs. Also, I would think any person of average intelligence would know a little about vocabulary.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:27 No.4682016
    "Darling, take off the belt."
    "I'd...rather not."
    >> Beergut !bgXjHelLKI 05/27/09(Wed)16:27 No.4682019
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    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:30 No.4682042
    +2 Axe of Leaving
    A great double headed axe that attempts to jump out of its wielder's hands. Also tries to stay stuck in whatever it strikes.

    Shirt of Vitality
    A thin, white shirt that is constantly wet. Provides a bonus to constitution.

    Sweet Shampoo
    A shampoo that smells incredibly good, but once put on hair tastes orgasmic. Anything that smells it must make a will save to prevent from sucking/chewing.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:31 No.4682057
    Amulet of Cheater Speed - Will allow you to cheat at any game, with surprising speed.

    Amulet of Plow-Her - An amulet that causes the wearer to speak in nothing but double entendres. (Cursed)

    Periapt of Leif Protection - Will protect you from any bodily harm, as long as your name is Leif.

    Amulet of Magic Resist Dance - On command, makes the wearer unable to dance, even to the funkiest of beats.

    Lather Armor - An ordinary armor, that when activated starts producing lots of foam and suds, like from a bath. This magical foam will instantly clean anything it covers in mere minutes, and vanishes after about 15 minutes.

    Eleven Chain Mail - A chainmail, that weighs 11 times that much.

    Me-Thrill Armour! A very exciting armour!

    Chain Mail - An armour that, when received, you have to make ten copies of and send to ten of your friends, in just a week, or else your legs will fall of, and dogs will eat your parents!
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:37 No.4682091
    >Chain Mail - An armour that, when received, you have to make ten copies of and send to ten of your friends, in just a week, or else your legs will fall of, and dogs will eat your parents!
    Oh that's just bad. I mean, on the level of bad puns, that takes the cake.
    >> Beergut !bgXjHelLKI 05/27/09(Wed)16:38 No.4682107
    Tarasque in a box: An eight inch cube with a small crank on the side. When turned, a tinny little song will play, the song fills the player with dread and must resist a DC 30 will save to continue. If the song is completed after the will save, a tarasque will explode out of the box and attack the player. The cube has a picture of a kitten and clown on it.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:38 No.4682110
    >>4681851 Minor drill of tunneling: When this two inch tall pick-axe strikes soil/stone/clay/ect it creates a 5x5x40 millimeter tunnel to appear.

    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:39 No.4682111
    Helm of Brilliance:
    When worn, the PC is immediately subject to the constant yelling of the word, "BRILLIANT!" by random bystanders.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:48 No.4682175
    Band of Shocking insight.
    +2 intelligence for one hour after being hurt for at least 5 damage by lightning.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:49 No.4682183
    Ring of Socks: Once worn this ring will give the feeeling of having warm wool socks on your feet regardless of footwear or weather. Illusion based, does not actually protect against cold, frostbite, rain or any other effect on the feet.

    Sweater of Static Shock: As long as worn, will permanently charge wearer into delivering mild static shock to anyone touching him.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:54 No.4682208

    Potion of Fire Breathing

    The user is able to breath fire and get sustenance from it as if it were air for the next hour. The potion doesnt protect him from any adverse effects
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:56 No.4682225
    Full Plate Mail: An armour that will fill any plate with a delicous meal, when you utter the command word. Once per day.

    Boats of Speed - Two small rowboats, that will make row increcibly fast - but only if you use both at the same time.

    Bracers of the Fence - A pair of bracers made from an old picket-fence. They are extremely uncomfortable to wear, but once a day they can be deployed to form a nice little white picket fence around the wearer, 15 yards in diameter.

    Gauntlets of Ochre Power - Anything you touch with these gloves will instantly turn it golden-yellow-brown.

    Helm of Char Protection - Will protect the wearer from any attacks based on fire residue.

    Tarragon Helm - A helmet that smells vaguely of bearnaise sauce.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)16:58 No.4682245
    Infinite Diaper: White cloth diaper that will absorb an infinite amount urine and of fecal matter without becoming dirty. However it will radiate the smell of all waste absorbed.

    Helm of Gayness: Pink armored headress, will bestow upon the wearer up to three hours of pure joy in a single day when used.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)17:02 No.4682278
    Frosty Mugger - A small figurine of a lone high-way man. When the command word is uttered, it transforms into a man, who will instantly start mugging you, all the while showing no signs of emotion.
    >> CommissarHavoc !!jtQXUhFGp59 05/27/09(Wed)17:07 No.4682316
    >Helm of Char Protection - Will protect the wearer from any Blond Haired man in red armor.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)17:07 No.4682317
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    I love this thread.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)17:11 No.4682364

    Oh god I lol'd heartily
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)17:24 No.4682457
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    Mask of the Ninth King

    While equipped you cannot gain experience for killing beasts or completing quests. Removing this mask will attempt to remove your face along with it.

    Your voice resembles that of Christopher Walken. You gain a bonus of +1 Charisma and +1 Intellect.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)17:26 No.4682471
    Very nice.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)17:26 No.4682474

    Better still would be if you hit ham with it, the hammer turns into ham...
    >> bearford !!xjhLi8WTrZS 05/27/09(Wed)17:28 No.4682487
    Can I assume that this is because Walken gets all of your experience, and grows ever more powerful?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)17:28 No.4682490
    Ring of the Lich Trio: When activated, the person who activated it is immediately attacked by three end-campaign level liches. They will not stop until the person who activated the ring dies permanently. If that person dies normally and is brought back from the dead, he or she will be attacked immediately. The phylacteries of the three liches will never be found, and will never be destroyed.

    It only works on PCs.
    >> Iron Handed !!ZoDqloewQn/ 05/27/09(Wed)17:37 No.4682531
    (Cock) Ring of Fapping - When worn the user immediately gets the irresistible urge to Fap, and extreme pleasure is gained from even touching the user genitals, this lust is so enthralling that the user forgets about everything else other than pleasing them self. this effect lasts until the ring is removed.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)17:43 No.4682569
    Ring of Protection - When worn on the penis, the chance of pregnancy though intercourse is reduced by 85%.

    Ring of Invisibility - When you wear this ring, light bends around your body, making you invisible. As a result, you can't see anything anymore.

    Ring of Evasion - This ring constantly evades your attempts at wearing it. Upon catching it (DEX check DC 20) and placing it on your finger, you find it is an ordinary brass ring.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)17:45 No.4682580
    Magic Lantern of Wish Granting

    A magical entity appears, informing the user that they shall be the recipient of three wishes, but that no wishes shall be granted until all wishes have been made. All wishes must, in some way, involve the user.

    Upon stating their final wish, the being informs them that their wishes shall serve his next master well, and proceeds to grant the previous owner's wishes to the current one.
    >> Iron Handed !!ZoDqloewQn/ 05/27/09(Wed)17:50 No.4682609
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)18:22 No.4682798
    Boots/Gloves of the Transitive Property: These items appear to made out of a mishmash of materials that don't seem at all suited to proper tailoring. Stone, grass, you think you even see some water in there, goddamn, what the Hell?

    -These items, whenever they come into external contact with anything take a piece of whatever it is they touched and makes it a part of itself. They also take whatever was replaced and make it a part of whatever it is they touched.

    Example: You immerse your glove in a pool of water. The entirety of the glove becomes a malleable liquid and leaves the concrete it was made out of earlier in the pool.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)18:27 No.4682850
    Matching Rings of High - Fiving.

    When worn by 2 people, those two people can high-five each other with their ring-hands from any angle and position and always get the perfect high five including the sound
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)18:36 No.4682918
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)18:38 No.4682932
    No matter where or when they are.

    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)18:43 No.4682963
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    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)20:07 No.4683540
    What does Double Ham taste like, anyway?
    Mmmm...my double ham is deliciously doublemoist now.
    Useful. Wear, have someone carry a bucket of water, tunnel.

    Occasionally empty bucket of rock.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)20:20 No.4683627
    Fiddle of Fanatical Dancing

    Whenever this instrument is played, all around the musician forcibly begin to dance,
    jumping higher and quicker the fiddle is played.

    Idea stolen from the Brothers Grimm tale; The Man Among The Thorns
    >> LYSANDER [RAPEWAGON] !!x4UZsNRzxWG 05/27/09(Wed)20:21 No.4683635
    i vill not be zeese record, it is scratched
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)20:27 No.4683679
    Hat of disguise.

    The wearer can activate this item to look just like the wearer of this item.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)20:30 No.4683693

    So wait... This is a mask of PCP?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)20:32 No.4683701

    That. Is. Fucking. Awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)20:43 No.4683762
    Blade of sharpness. Every time you use it, the edge becomes sharper and more capable in cutting through armor, until it becomes thin enough to split an atom.

    The resulting nuclear explosion destroys everything with a two mile radius.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)20:46 No.4683787
    The nuclear fallout then lasts for two weeks, mutating anything that MIGHT have survived.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)20:47 No.4683798
    lol, GOD EMPRAH glue.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)20:57 No.4683856
    Potion of Spider-Climb: The imbiber can automatically succeed at scaling the body of any sizable eight limbed creature, and also automatically succeeds at stepping on any small arachnids.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)21:03 No.4683899
    Bag of bump:

    Causes item in mind to rise to the top of the bag into clear visible sight.
    >> Gwarfag !!K9jLbBpAauP 05/27/09(Wed)21:05 No.4683915
    God damn it why'd I laff?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)21:05 No.4683919
    Infinate Sandvich: Never runs out, still goes bad
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)21:14 No.4684011
    A Bag of Sand: Replicates the feel and texture of a females breasts perfectly
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)21:20 No.4684050
    God tier for Tranny PC's
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)21:23 No.4684094
    Give bonus to Disguise checks involving crossdressing?
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)21:25 No.4684105
    As soon as I saw the picture I read the post in his voice.

    It was awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)21:26 No.4684112
    however, it is only edible if you go NOM NOM NOM while eating it.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)21:30 No.4684139
    Bag of sand-sandwhich.

    A normal looking bag that dispenses sand-sandwhiches.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)21:30 No.4684146
    Bow of Party Impersonation:
    A small Bowtie it gives you the ablity to impersonate any voice, but give only a negligable bonus to decive others as it is but a party trick
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)21:34 No.4684168
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    this combined with
    Sure won't make them belive your him, but just simply awesome
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)21:35 No.4684183
    Mug of Bear:
    when beer is poured into this mug, a bear appears around the nearest corner and proceeds to attack the pourer as soon as possible.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)21:47 No.4684270
    >Bottle of Air
    >This is just an empty bottle, except any elf wearing green will absolutely do anything for you to trade it to them.

    i see what you did there.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)21:58 No.4684340
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    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)22:27 No.4684528
    >Full Plate Mail: An armour that will fill ITSELF with a delicous meal, when you utter the command word. Once per day.
    Even better!
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)22:29 No.4684549
    >Blade of sharpness. Every time you use it, the edge becomes sharper and more capable in cutting through armor, until it becomes thin enough to split an atom.

    >The resulting nuclear explosion destroys everything with a two mile radius.

    You realize "Splitting the Atom" is just a phrase, right? It's not actually just one atom that's being split.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)22:30 No.4684559
    Sketchpad of Illusion:
    upon drawing in this book, you will seem to dramaticly increase in artistic skills, but when view by others it will simply reveal them as WEEABOO SHITSCRIBBLES
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)22:40 No.4684629
    This thread is amazing.

    I think I need to create an NPC with an accent in order to use some of these items with pun names without my players noticing.

    >Lantern of Relieving:
    >Lighting this magical item will transform the room the user occupies into a high class washroom. The illusion lasts 10 minutes.
    Emphasis on the word illusion. There wasn't really a toilet there- you just pissed all over the floor.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)23:07 No.4684807
    One Hundred Platinum Piece: Instead of trying to deal with a commodity-based economy, the local empire du jour elected to establish a central bank backed by the magic standard. This three-inch diameter coin is stamped with the date of coinage, a patriotic mantra and portrait, and the words "ONE THOUSAND OUNCES GOLDEN." It enables the owner to cast one wizard cantrip at-will, typically Prestidigitation. Unlike other magic items, it may be sold and purchased freely at its set price of 1,000gp.

    Troll's Head In A Jar: If it's still capable of regenerating, why doesn't it grow back and break the glass? It is a mystery. To use: Throw with liberal application of force at ground nearest opponant. WARNING: MAY CAUSE TROLL INFESTATION. DO NOT STORE EXCEPT NEAR HEAT AND FLAME. NOT INTENDED FOR ORAL USE. KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN.

    Handy Havercoat: This overcoat has two breast pockets that appear large enough to hold a quart of material, and a perpetually well-tailored main body that always seems to fit just right over an otherwise fully clothed, fully armor-clad adventurer. However, the breast pockets and main body each contain extradimensional space capable of storing about 20 pounds or 2 cubic feat and 80 pounds or 8 cubic feet, respectively. In addition, whenever the wearer reaches in for a specific item, he or she will always find it immediately within reach; retrieving an item from the coat or displaying merchandise stored in the main body of the coat is only a move action that does not provoke attacks of opportunity.

    Ψcrystal: This crystal is the 23rd in a set of 24, not including four obsolete plus three other crystals. It has a numeric value of 700. It bestows upon the owner a +2 to psychology checks, a +5 to parapsychology checks, and may be used to instantly calculate the supergolden ratio.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)23:15 No.4684867
    Of course, the sword is still retarded. There is so much energy holding the atom together- you wouldn't be able to overcome it with a sword.
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)23:15 No.4684869
    >>Emphasis on the word illusion. There wasn't really a toilet there- you just pissed all over the floor.

    I think I actually like the idea better, though, that it makes your surroundings a strange bathroom microcosm. To you, the bathroom fixtures and decorations exist, and if you elect to relieve yourself hygienically, the positive effects of recent urination will remain even after you leave the bathroom. You don't actually -go- anywhere, though; any creatures in the area remain, and to them, it seems like you're just whipping it out and pantomiming the act of taking a leak and washing your hands.

    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)23:30 No.4684973
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    >>Chain Mail - An armour that, when received, you have to make ten copies of and send to ten of your friends, in just a week, or else your legs will fall of, and dogs will eat your parents!
    >> Light Tim !!wQYycOvAoA2 05/27/09(Wed)23:43 No.4685106
    Wedding ring for the underage: Its actually a soda can tab...
    >> Anonymous 05/27/09(Wed)23:52 No.4685178
    Ring of Gender Change (Cursed)
    >> Guardsman Ted 05/27/09(Wed)23:54 No.4685198
    Paperweight of Holding:
    Once placed, acts as an immovable rod.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/09(Thu)00:01 No.4685266
    Bag of magic darts.
    All darts from this bag will hit their desired target. Assuming that target is a dartboard.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/09(Thu)00:16 No.4685401

    >>Greater ring of metal detection: This stone ring will will emit a tone every four seconds if any metal is within 150 miles in any given direction. The more metal within the radius, the louder the tone, 1 decibel per ounce of metal.

    Asuming you play on an earth-like planet that range is going to penetrate into the mantle(which is roughly 5.8% iron), IE I would not want to be on the same plane of existence as anyone wearing that ring. That being said it's a great wmd.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/09(Thu)00:20 No.4685429
    Promise Ring:
    Does nothing.

    >> Anonymous 05/28/09(Thu)00:23 No.4685445

    Sorry she gave it back Formen.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/09(Thu)00:46 No.4685621
    >>Ring of Three Wishes:

    Jesus, how about just call it the Ring of Fuck you I'm the GM
    >> Anonymous 05/28/09(Thu)00:48 No.4685636
    nuh uh,
    wear 2 of those rings, netting you 4 extra fingers
    10 -2 + 4 = 12, SUCCESS
    >> Anonymous 05/28/09(Thu)01:06 No.4685817
    Bumping for awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/09(Thu)03:54 No.4686748
    Bump for goodness.

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