Damn, forgot to add: "Is your beard intact?"
If it's a scratch, then we're going to have to come up with a plan.
If it's a good chunk of your beard either:
A: Submit, and cry at the loss of your beard.
B: TAP INTO YOUR WELL OF RAGE, AND SHOW UNBRIDALED FURY THAT THE COSMOS HAVE YET TO BARE WITNESS TO, AND THE VERY GODS THEMSELVES WILL SOIL THEMSELVES IN FEAR RAURRALJK;S;ALSJD;LSAJDLKA