There are humans and aliens and nasty humans

They all want to kill eachother alot

They have been doing so constantly for over 10,000 years now.

Actually, the Emperor is a dick. His obsession with Horus being the perfect son screwed things up pretty badly.

Necrons: You saw Terminator, right?

Tyranids: You saw Alien, right?

>>4559518

Squats: YOU SAW NOTHING

Orks: Orcs

interstellar war between
Xenophobic Human supremacists
Elves
Dark Elves
Demon Worshipers
Orks
and Giant Insects

In the grim nightmare of the far future, there is only GW price rises

>>4559523
Eldar: You saw Starcraft, right?

Tau: You saw Gundam, right?

SOMEONE MOTIVATE THIS.

Mix Old metal, ideas of a twelve year old, blood, goth kids, child humor, rock cd covers after reading tolkien.
Blammo

Grim Dark Wank Material

If Starcraft Was Emo.

Imagine a bunch of genetically enhanced superhuman militant religious fanatics clad in an advanced armor enhancing their physical attributes and holding guns which shoot miniature rockets dropping inside a metal can from an enormous space catedral warship in orbit of a world, which entire biomass is being slowly consumed by a living spaceship belonging to a hyperaggresive race of hiveminded critters, right in the middle of an army of greenskinned bestial hooligans armed with rocket launchers and axes already busy rolling over a bunch of pointy eared high-tech survivors of a fallen ancient alien empire who were on a mission to destroy a buried force of omnicidal robots, only to fail because of the machination of dark gods of Chaos, who managed to warp the entire human population of the planet, which in orgies and bloodbaths summoned daemons - powerful denizens of the Immaterium, or Warp, to FUCK SHIT UP.

>>4559525

Orks: Orcs FRUM LUNDAN

>>4559682
>scanners.jpg

(1). A stupid joke taken seriously.

(2). (Not very) repressed homosexuality.

(3). A plot thinner than that of the average console fighting game.

>>4561694

>2. (not very) Repressed homosexuality.

You know, actually, this reminds me.

What is the Imperium's stance on the homogay? Heresy? Seen as Slaaneshi? Or is it a "don't ask don't tell" sort of thing?

>>4561718
SPESS MAHREENS and SoBs are pretty homogay for each other. Everyone else needs to make more babies FOR THE EMPRAH. 400 BABIES!

orks: you saw warcraft right?

Basically, it's Dark Ages IN SPACE.

Church controls everything with an iron fist, the Inquisition shoots heretics and witches left and right, social order is crumbling, unquestioning faith in, and divine worship of, THE EMPRAH (who happens to have been comatose for the last 10 000 years, but the common man obviously doesn't know this) is mandatory. This culminates in a humongous, oppressive, religion-fueled imperium stretching across the galaxy.

And that's the good guys.

Someone post that Penny Arcade comic

>>4561977
Wait, how are they the good guys? The sound like awesome villains.

>>4561994
EVERYBODY ELSE IS EVEN WORSE

>>4561718
I don't think they really care as long as it's not directly harming the production of new meatshields for the Emprah.

>>4561982
Pic related.

>>4561994
>how are they the good guys?

By comparison.

>>4562013
>>4562001
Then I shudder to consider the other races.

>>4561994

That's the point. It's not black vs. white morality. It's black vs. black. They're considered "The Good Guys" because everything else is simply WORSE.

There's Chaos. Eldrich horrors from beyond reality, dark gods and monsters that would give Cthulhu nightmares, commanding demonic armies and twisted caricatures of the human form(Usually deserters from the Imperium given new "powers").

There's the Eldar. Decientful and vile elves in space, organized in a strict militaristic society, each and every one with psychic potential. The most powerful of them are able to tell the outcome of battles were the combatants haven't even been born yet.

Necrons. UNSTOPPABLE EGYPTIAN-THEMED UNDEAD ROBOTS FROM BEFORE RECORDED HISTORY JESUS CHRIST

And the list goes on and on

>>4562071
It used to be even more "shades of grey" but the Necrons had to come in and fuck up that balance.

Also, nothing is "TOO BIG"

>>4562021
For reference:

Chaos: The embodiment of the repressed feelings and destructive impulses of all humans. Omnicidal maniacs.

Orks: Commit genocide for fun. Omnicidal maniacs.

Eldar: Almost extinct and pissed about it. Hate all non-eldar. Omnicidal maniacs.

Dark Eldar: Fly rape-powered spaceships. Omnicidal maniacs.

Tyrannids: Want to eat the galaxy. Omnicidal maniacs.

Necrons: Undead robots. Don't ask. Omnicidal maniacs for some stupid reason.

Tau: They are weeaboo, and this is the worst crime of all.

When everyone wants to kill everyone else, it's hard not to join in.

>>4562096
Necron just want to quiet down all the ruckus so they can get back to sleep.

It's tragic, I know ;_;

>>4562071

Penny Arcade described the Necrons best in that comic posted earlier.

>>4559554
> tau= gundam
>eldar= protoss

someone hasn't seen gundam nor the tau. else he'll know tau= battletech, eldar = zentraedi.

>>4562021
A super-evolved Virus that wants to eat the Galaxy.
A race of robots whom found immortality isn't what they expected and now havest souls for their Star-Vampire gods.
A race that consists of the collective emotion of sentient beings, who ALSO want to eat your soul.
A race of psychic Magnificent Bastards trying of pull off a Xanatos Gambit with the entire universe, whose previous empire became so debauched they spawned a GOD of getting your rocks off.
The Magnificent Bastard's cousins whom still are debauched.
Caste based National Socialist convince that they can make the galaxy a better place if the other races would only see reason. The leaders of which may or may not control the other castes via pheromonal brainwashing. And DO control the other castes via propaganda campaigns that make the IoM look liberal.
A genetically engineered Warrior Race, whom is incapable of anything other than fighting, reproduces via fungal spores, is resilient enough to survive HEAD TRANSPLANTS without anesthesia, uses their slave-race to clear minefields by sending more of them though it. And their shtick is that they are THE COMIC RELIEF.

Yeah, the other races suck.

>>4562113
Wow, is that really their motivation? God damn. They're even stupider than I thought.

>>4562106
Why with all the fighting?

>>4559692
>Orks: Chavs IN SPHESS

Humans: "Glory to the holy imperium of mankind. All hail the God-Emperor. Destroy the filthy xeno forces. Suffer not the heretic to live."

Eldar: "We are superior and therefore have every right to kill every last one of you on the slightest whim."

Dark Eldar: "Hmm... what can I rape, brutally torture, rape, murder, and then rape again today?"

Orks: "We like fighting, yes we do. We like fighting, how 'bout you?"

Necrons: Magic zombie robots from space-egypt.

Tyranids: "Omnomnom"

Tau: Space communists. "For the Greater Good"

Nurgle: "I love you guys. Here, have some small pox."

Slaanesh: "Everything that moves is something for me to rape. Everything else is something for me to snort or inject."

Tzeentch: "Just as planned."

Khorne: "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!"

>>4562007
Who are the greasy, floating, armored brains?

The closest thing to that is a Dreadnought, but obviously, they do not float.

>>4562147
Actually they want to harvest all living things to sate the appetites of their soul-eating star gods, but whatever.

>>4562106
Chaos, ultimate freedom of expression.

Orks ultimate living in the moment optimists

Eldar, ultimate in long term nurturing and appreciation of esthetics

Dark Eldar, well you got me there, I guess rape could be a beautifull thing too?

Tyranids, Natural instincts can't really be considered evil.

Tau, uplifted by Eldar they in turn try to advance other races (even if the other races aren't quite as "equal" as the Socialist-dictatorial Tau.

>>4562173

Tyranids? i dunno

>>4562173
zoanthropes, chitin is still armour.

>>4562106
>Eldar: Almost extinct and pissed about it. Hate all non-eldar. Omnicidal maniacs.
You don't know shit, faggot. They certainly aren't GOODY GOODY guys, but they're not Omnicidal maniacs. Everything they do is meticulously calculated in advance and done for a fucking good reason. If that means that they have to blow up a world of humans, it's not because they're Omnicidal but because the consequences of that action saves more lives. And yes, they favor eldar lives over any other, but seeing as they're near extinct and this is fucking GRIMDARK, that's hardly a big crime.


>Tau: They are weeaboo, and this is the worst crime of all.
You're just pulling shit because you got nothing. Still not GOODY GOODY guys, but they're the closest thing in 40K by a fucking giganourmous longshot.
They do things for the Greater Good, and most of them do it honestly, also believing in that cause. Sure they kill whole planets too, but only before they give them a choice of join the Greater Good or perish as you should. No other force shows any compassion or even consideration that comes close to this, they just choose option 2.

tl;dr: You're a stupid faggot.

There's a god of anally raping LSD-covered midgets.

>>4562177
They'll have to get in line.

>>4562173
zoanthropes?

>>4562191
Witness a faggot trying to justify his favorite armies as the good guys.

>>4562138


>>A race that consists of the collective emotion of sentient beings, who ALSO want to eat your soul.

You gave THAT to Chaos and Tau manage to get three lines? You're terrible at making the game seem grimdark.

It's a tabletop game wherein super space nazis with rapid-fire rocket propelled grenade machineguns and chainsaw swords, communists with penlights and cardboard armour, tanks made from UNOBTAINIUM that run on goat piss and giant walking cathedrals fight endless armies of enormous blood-thirsty daemons made of walking piles of dicks and toerot, angry fungi who like to kill each other for fun, ancient space elves who shit crystals and are more weeaboo than everything ever combined, more space elves who love S&M and ride around in spiky spikes of spike with engines on them, a race of genetically engineered super-monsters with biological weaponry that EJACULATES RAVENOUS FLESH-EATING MAGGOTS AT YOU, guns that shoot hell at you, guns that shoot you INTO hell, laser beams that set you on fire and then send you to hell and more skulls and purity seals than you could count.

>>4562191
>Greater Good
Are yes, the catch cry of Nazis, dictators, zealots, serial killers and assorted psychopaths the world over.

Everything is always done for the fucking "Greater Good".

>>4562231
Haha, I don't even play the fucking game, I just read the fluff sometimes.

No, I'm just making some goddamn sense. Actually, instead of spouting shit, try to take any single sentence out of what I said and somehow prove it wrong.

That's right, you can't. Now shut up and be a good retarded faggot.

>>4562191
>they favor eldar lives over any other
Like: Orchestrate the destruction of a planet populated by millions of humans to save a camp of 20 or so eldar who wanted to get "back to nature, man" on a nearby world.
Totally reasonable. The plans have been available at your local planning office in the andromeda galaxy for weeks.

>>4562231
they're the lesser evil in all approach, size, importance, effectiveness and cool factor.

>>4562252
Yeah you're right. Too bad it doesn't actually mean anything. Just because some (or a lot? All? Doesn't matter) evil people justify themselves through "Greater Good", doesn't mean that anyone who refers to Greater Good is an evil guy.

It's like saying we're all rapists and serial killers because rapists and serial killers all produce feces, and so do we.

>>4562252
exactly, they're their OWN good guys, just like everyone you cited.

Step 1: Buy IG 3 Punisher tanks
Step 2: Buy minimal command and troops.
Step 3: Play minimum point games.
Step 4: ???
Step 5: Profit!

>>4562282

I guess what we're trying to say is 'Warhammer 40k as a whole is so grimdark that any part of the game is probably grimdark'. That applies to Tau, and I think that's pretty reasonable.

Besides, it's not real. It's all up to interpretation.

>>4562282
they're evil dude, everyone in every GW work is. the amazon cheerleaders in bloodbowl are evil, the space wales in BFG are evil, even the squats and umbra in the drawer of abandoned ideas plot against each other.

Every faction has a good side so you can feel good about fielding them.

At the same time, every faction also has a dark side which gives easy fluff reason of why you are fighting against them.

The phrase "Greater Good" has some unfortunate implications.

The only reason to fight for the "Greater" good is if you intend to fight against or at least abandon lesser goods.

It's a way of soothing an aching conscience more than anything else.

>>4562261

They're just as black as any other race, just its a glossy, shiny black that looks less grim.

Warhammer is the bastard love child of Lemmy and Morrissey.

>>4562338
This.

>>4562338
>>4562339

Listen to these men, they know what they're talking about.

Which makes me think, ever notice that the people that play the not-so-obviously-bad-guy races, such as Tau, Eldar, or anything Imperial, totally consider their side the good guys?

>>4562256
Yeah, that's right. They did it to save some of their own kind. Compare that to any other faction except perhaps Tau, and they would do the same thing for fucking less. Either because it's in their nature, it's fucking fun or because of some fanatic religious retarded belief.

Try actually spelling out that it's just as bad doing it to save some of your own people from a dying race compared to the above reasons. You will punch yourself from the sheer stupidity.

I'm not saying Tau or Eldar are good guys as we see it, they do lots of horrible things. I'm saying they're the closest thing 40K has to good guys and they're the two goodest guys in the galaxy. It all goes south when you try to compare what they do to the norms of our society, which obviously doesn't work. Any truly good guys in 40K would have been extinct from day 1. So in the spectrum of 40K, they are, effectively, the good guys.

>>4562378

No. Nothing in 40k is even CLOSE to good guys. There simply is no such thing. End of story.

bye bye.

>>4562338
There are no good side to chaos, neither is there to necrons, orks, tyranids and dark eldar.

If you disagree, just don't say so, but actually show me these so called good sides.

This should be interesting...

>>4562378
the Imperium on Mankind is clearly the good guy. Because everyone else isn't human. And humans (The white kind) are always the good guys.

>>4562378
>Try actually spelling out that it's just as bad doing it to save some of your own people from a dying race compared to the above reasons. You will punch yourself from the sheer stupidity.

>Human lives are objectively worth less than Eldar lives

>Not just to Eldar, but to humans as well

>You're stupid if you would fight for your own life against a cancer patient

It's like Warhammer Fantasy Battles, but in the future.

>>4562415
Well, >>4562180 already had a good start.

>ITT: Explain the Warhammer 40K universe to a total noob in as much or little detail as you want.
Rip off as much Tolkien, Moorcock, and 2000AD as you can without being sued, put it in space. Cover everything with skulls and cathedrals.

>>4562422
>humans (The white kind) are always the good guys.

>Emperor is Turkish

>>4562415
Chaos: Many good facets to each primary god, not to mention freedom to pursue your own goals instead of clinging to the Imperium. The brightest stars burn the shortest, though, and if you ditch the Imperium ENJOY YOUR DEATH.

Dark Eldar: Keeping the cultural heritage of the Eldar. In S&M gear.

:3

>>4562386
You are stupid or what? Everyone within this thread basically agrees that there are at least better or worse guys. And from that alone, if you, as I said, LOOK AT THE SPECTRUM OF 40K, and just forget all your own fucking values that can't apply in this universe. The guys who are the at the very extreme parts of the spectrum are, within the scope of 40K, the good guys and the bad guys.

By any other standards, the Tau would be a horrible totalitarian state, guilty of worse crimes than any the real world has ever seen. Compared to everyone else in 40K, they are precious Care Bears.

>>4562415
>There are no good side to chaos,
Freedom, the extention of human capacity, creativity, free thought, self-determination in a universe where nobody else has any real control over their own fate. Chaos has achieved the endpoint of what it is possible for free souls to achieve, and there is no further spiritual advancement past them--which implies that there is no point to any spiritual existence other than theirs.

> neither is there to necrons,
Immortality, ultimate transhuman technology--the Necrons have achieved the endpoint of what it is possible for technology to achieve--which implies that there is no point to any technological existence other than theirs.

>orks,
lol trollface

> tyranids
It's just nature, man. Get over it.

>and dark eldar.
Which is why they will never get a new codex. Because they're boring.

40K? Well you see there was this race of benevolent six limbed centaurs, a tragic tale it is.

Enslaved by discordian, solipsistic, violent aliens, they did what they could to resist, and some fled.

These refugees found the Imperium of man, and told of their enslavement, asking for help.

Then THEY WERE PURGED LIKE THE FILTHY XENOS THEY ARE FUCKING ZOATS

>>4562471
So is jeebus basically.

>>4562519
>endpoint
wouldn't say that. Nor would I emphasise freedom so much when you are constantly petitioning fickle gods for another mutation and hoping they don't eat your face off for your patheticness

>>4562482
Khorne doesn't actually have an honour side, that's just bullshit. Killing warriors before civilians is just because it's fucking more fun.

There is nothing good about slaanesh at all ever in any way.

Tzeentch only encourages intelligence and the such so his subjects can become better intstruments of death.

And the whole Papa Nurgle thing is pretty over-played. Yes, he cares about his forces because he has invested some sort of time and effort in them. He only cares as long as they stay useful.

And yeah Anarchy never was a good thing.

Also: Dark Eldar: just no.

>>4562588
>Tzeentch only encourages intelligence and the such so his subjects can become better intstruments of death.

Tzeentch doesn't give a fuck about death. At all.
Tzeentch cares about birth, growth, destruction, and alteration. Death of itself is meaningless to him.

>>4562583
Or decide to replace most of your brain with another tentacle, which is about as likely as anything else.

In the bright spectacle of the far future, humanity and aliens find ways to coexist through democracy and understanding.

>>4562588
>And the whole Papa Nurgle thing is pretty over-played. Yes, he cares about his forces because he has invested some sort of time and effort in them. He only cares as long as they stay useful.

Papa Nurgle is the god of sedentariness and DECAY.

He only cares about his followers as long as they become USELESS.

>>4559501
Tau => Space Commies. Evolved from cows, have super long range guns. Are blue.
Empire => Nobody knows how technology works anymore, and everybody worships a dead Emperor. These are the humans.
Chaos => Follow the Chaos Gods, and as such, have demons and shit. Are ex-Imperial, primarily.
Eldar => Elves in Space. The stuck up, snobby kind.
Necrons => The scions of a dead race. Undead robots. Their god/leader is imprisoned/dead on mars.
Orks => Some rough and tumble boyz who love a good tussle. Project a solipsistic field which causes their technology to work, as well as a few other things. Orcs in Space.
Tyrannids => Consume all the biomass on a planet and use it to build new Tyranids. Come from a different Galaxy. Have a hivemind and do not communicate with other races. Similar to Zergs. Are crap at ranged.

>>4562588
>Anarchy never was a good thing
none of the races portray anything other than a hyperbolized tyrant state. I always wonder why the Empire in both fantasy and 40k were written as so abhorent (to get a real moral clash I suppose) but this always seems to be an inference. There are such hyperbolic metaphors to religion, panopticism/government and similar things I wonder why they went to the trouble of makeing a mockey or exaggeration of things they see, but leaving out meaningful social commentary.

'those rocks are not yours, citizen'

Nurgle attracts trailer trash basically. As they laze in their space-recliners, eating junk food and never standing up even to go to the bathroom, they soon become covered in strange mould. Then, the room slowly turns a sickly green as objects melt with decay and the stench becomes unbearable. The lazy man slowly rots alive, but is kept happy by his utter slovenliness pushing it further. Eventually he is a big, fat zombie, and for the first time in decades he stands up from his fungus-covered recliner and assumes his duty as a follower of nurgle.

>>4562640
Someone decaying, rotting and suffering from innumerable diseases does not necessarily make one worthless, especially if you want to spread said diseases or if they make you a better warrior.

SO yeah, useful to Nurgle.
>>4562609
Not death in itself, sure, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want certain individuals dead or would rather see all the loyalists just die on the spot.
Or if you're more happy that way, imagine I said instruments of destruction. It amounts to basically the same thing.

>>4562649
> Project a solipsistic field
>solipsistic.

I do not think that word means what you think it means.

>>4562649

>Commies

Only an amerifag could come up with this.

'Communism' in Murrika is like 'mary-sue' here in /tg/: It stands for everything you don't like.

Since when does Tzeentch have a thing for destruction? Wouldn't that be Khorne and Nurgle?

Tzeentch only likes destruction inasmuch as it begets change and something new.

>>4562681
No, in the fluff it's stated their economy is basically a command-economy based aroudn war production, and they fight for the greater good and all that.

RED makez it go Fasta!
BLOO iz Lucky.
YELLA makez it Shootier.
Moar shooty = more Dakka, which iz alwayz a good fing.
GREEN iz best.

Da effect of da rest of da Culla Spektrum on Orky Gubbins an Tek iz still up fer debate..

>>4562733
Accurate depiction or Orks.

>>4559501 Explain the Warhammer 40K universe to a total noob in as much or little detail as you want.

Firm fools faggots into buying new figures with each supplement released.

It's basically Magic: The Gathering with figures instead of cards.

>>4562672

nurgle attracts people who are fucking scared by the fact that they have to die one day and there is nothing they can do about it. desparation is what he feeds on.

>>4562733
Why are there no rainbow orks?

>>4562733
Ya fergot purple. It'z fer sneaky gitz.

>>4562733
Which 'uns Gork's fav'rite? N' Mork?

>>4562979
But green is still best!

>>4562987
entire planetary sistems of orks have been lost to such discussions

>Explain the Warhammer 40K universe
IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE FUTURE, THERE IS ONLY WAR

>>4563057
this was the ONLY acceptable answer.

>>4562676
I think it means that belief begets reality. What do you think it means?

From a common citizen point of view, the best places to live would be on one of the "good" imperial planets (in a system governed by a marine chapter would probably be the best) on an eldar craftworld or planet that is good at staying out of the way, or a tau planet in the first expansion. There isn't really a good faction (those 3 are the "best" factions), but there may be some good people somewhere in those three places.

Tyranids kick more ass than every other race combined and are going to eat EVERYTHING.

They are /universe and this post is /thread.

>>4563174
Solipsism is the name for the view that only the self can be proven to exist, or that only the self DOES exist.

It has nothing to do with belief begetting reality. In fact, solipsism runs COUNTER to common sense belief and argues that what we might believe, that something other than only our own self exists, is either wrong or unfounded.

>>4563174
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solipsism

>>4563211
Ah. Though functionally, I'd like to point out, it means the same thing, as your perception, then, is the decider as to what affects you.

However, the term 'solipsistic' has kind of been hijacked by scifi to have the meaning that I used it to mean.

>>4562250
>>4562250
>>4562250
>>4562250
>>4562250

THIS. OH GOD THIS. ARCHIVE THIS SHIT.

Good Guys
Imperium
Eldar
Tyranids

Bad Guys
Necrons
Dark Eldar
Tau
Chaos

>>4563233
>Though functionally, I'd like to point out, it means the same thing, as your perception, then, is the decider as to what affects you.

Yes, but in a very different way than the way Orks function. Orks ALTER SOMETHING ALREADY THERE. In the case of solipsism, perception just IS what's there. Nothing more, nothing less.

Plus, Orks only work en masse. You cannoy have mass solipsism, it completely contradicts what solipsism is.

>>4563238
Ooops, I forgot the Orks for good guys

>>4563238
I am SO confus

>>4563233
>However, the term 'solipsistic' has kind of been hijacked by scifi to have the meaning that I used it to mean.

That is the most retarded hijacking I've heard of in a long time.

Once upon a time, in the future, post traumatic stress disorder became the norm, and society got fucked. Humanity is led by a dead psychic, and there are aliens that look superficially like elves, orcs, Terminators, Xenomorphs from Aliens, and also cow people who fight in mecha. Every other bit of technology is either steampunk x cyberpunk or only works because of psychic powers. If you're psychic, you almost always have a door to Hell in your head that can open at any time. And his is where faster than light travel occurs.

IT IS AWESOME, NO REALLY, NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IT IS IT IS MADE OF AWESOME, YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME.

>>4563277
It's based on how they treat their own "people" rather than how they treat others

Eldar: Welcome to craftworld XYZ, learn ancient knowledge, watch intricate plays, be an aspect warrior!
IoM: Sur we may be a bit delapidated, but you're free to do waht you want as long as you don't become a gibbering spawn of chaos.
Nid': BUFFET'S OPEN!
Ork: Hey guys, wanna start a barfight?
DE: RAPE RAPE RAPE
Tau: You best be serving the greater good!
Necron: -harvest more souls- -harvest more souls-
Chaos: Enjoy your eternal damnation!

>>4563238
Good Guys

Bad Guys

Self-Serving Empires
Imperium
Eldar
Tau
Chaos

Forces of Nature
Orks
Tyranids

Boring, Who-Gives-A-Shit Tier
Dark Eldar
Necrons

This is how 40k works.

My summaries:

Imperium: A nightmare society based on ignorance, fear, control. Every horrible "means-justify-the-ends" trope you can think of put in one place, and run on religion and a horribly bloated bureaucracy, which is in turn run by a secretive society of people who have monopoly on all technology, partially because they halt all independent technological progress in the name of religious dogma.

Chaos: The negative emotions of all man, given form, manifesting it's self though endless hordes of hateful deamons, lovecraftian horrors and the pissed cultists, big and small, who worship them. Has a lot of converts who were too damn mean for the above group, so that is a mild indicator of the niceness of these guys.

Orks: An ubiquitous warrior race that can survive anywhere, make weapons from anything, and live only to fight because they think it's fun. Though their eyes, it's pretty funny. Though everyone else's eyes, it sucks balls.

Eldar/dark eldar: a faction of arrogant stuck-up bastards who killed half the galaxy by partying too much, and now are willing to kill anyone else on a whim because they see everyone else as animals standing in the way of the restoration of their empire. The dark eldar are the ones who are still busy partying and put the emphasis more on the "kill you on a whim" part, except they rape, mutilate, and torture you first for kicks.

>>4563441

Tau: A bunch of upstarts who seem good, but are quickly on their way to becoming just as horrible and depraved as everyone else. They're already on the slippery slope with concentration camps, societal control, and orbitally bombing anyone who disagrees with their conniving, backstabbing negotiators.

Necrons: Horrible robots who are the left overs of a long dead race who are controlled by horrible quasi-gods who desire to eat souls, and kill everything in the galaxy for reasons beyond mortal comprehension.

Tyranids: biological von Neumann devices gone crazy and then some- a horde of horrible monsters from beyond the stars who seek to consume everything before them. Intelligent, adaptable, and in ever increasing numbers, and it is implied what we've seen so far is only the advance "scouts".

>>4563441
>
Orks: An ubiquitous warrior race that can survive anywhere, make weapons from anything, and live only to fight because they think it's fun. Though their eyes, it's pretty funny. Though everyone else's eyes, it sucks balls.

This is the most accurate description I've seen.

Imperium: Nazi Space Catholics

Eldar: Nazi Space Elves

Dark Eldar: Nazi Space Elves that are into drugs and S&M

Chaos: Satanic cultists in Space

Tau: Space Maoists

Orks: Lord Of The Flies (in Space)

Tyranids: A viral infection on a galactic level

Necrons: SkyNet

>>4564100
pretty much this, except I point out the nids are basically Alien

Space Marines: "We shall fight an never ending battle against shit, and anyone who stands in our way!"
Chaos: "Bring on the shit so we may throw it at our enemies!"
Tau: "We shall stop shit, for the Greater Good. You may join our noble cause, if you do not, you will be labeled as "shit" and exterminated."
Orkz: "Whats shit?"
Eldar: "We orchestrate shit so it happens to everyone but us."
Dark Eldar: "We cause shit, so shit doesn't happen to us."
Imperial Guard: "We hold the line against shit, until the Beakies come and steal the glory."
Necrons: "...."
Nids: "We eat shit and get stronger for it!"

>>4563177
>the best places to live would be on one of the "good" imperial planets (in a system governed by a marine chapter would probably be the best)

Except if the marine chapter in question uses death squads and terror tactics to keep the planet at an appropriately barbaric tech-level, to foster a more suitable attitude towards violence to recruit new marines from.

It happens, just sayin'

>>4566211
Well we can't all be the Ultramarine's....

>>4564100
Pretty much this, except the Necrons are undead robo-skeletons in space, who worship gods who eat hope.

>>4564100
>Dark Eldar: Nazi Space Elves that are into drugs and S&M
So Delfdar are Anime Nazis? It makes so much sense... MY GOD I CAN SEE FOREVER

>>4562733
Yella makes it More Flashy!

>Chaos: Satanic cultists in Space

Laughed so hard.

>>4566231
>Well we can't all be the Ultramarine's....
The Ultramarine's what? What object belonging to the Ultramarines can't we all be?

>>4566469
...Subjects?
Don't mind me, I'm just throwing stuff around.

>>4562191

Thanks to the Eldar for protecting the galaxy against Chaos.

Oh, hi Slannesh, you are a pretty guy

>>4559554

Imperial Guard: HEY RICO, YEAH YOU JOHNNY RICO!

Nurgle: Disgusting god of disease, and the good guy in 40K. He loves you, no matter what.

>>4562256

You'd save an anthill over a house of perfectly normal family when considering where to pull a new highway?

>>4563277

Nids are v. pure of purpose. They have no motivation other than survival.

>>4566895
'good' has some pretty moral baggage though

>>4559554
Nah Most MS are actually capable of decent CQC... tell that to the Tau.

tl,dr: Dicks everywhere!

Archive this shit

Would anyone care to do the same for Warhammer Fantasy, or should I make another topic for it?

bumping epic topic

>>4559501
>Future Archived Thread
you called it.

also EVERYONE'S WRONG NOBODIES RIGHT