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    14 KB Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:26 No.4454272  

    Try to invent a quote or one-liner that you'd like to use in RPG session or in real life.

    My try:
    "Suffer! Your tears are like dessert... And your face a table upon which i feast!"
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:28 No.4454283
    rarh i eet yur hed om nom nom nom
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:28 No.4454284
    "My glory is your defeat. My win is your loss. My life is your death!"
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:29 No.4454290
    "Use the white dragon they said. It will save some gold, the said. Worthless."
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:29 No.4454292
    Not so much grammatically incorrect as it was a hideous butchery of the English language.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:31 No.4454305
    Fuck you,I'm the loli.
    >> deleted 05/01/09(Fri)18:32 No.4454307
    I will show this misbegotten world why all the ancient empires of legend were made by humanities hand.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:37 No.4454352
    Apparently they'll be shown without the correct use of possessive apostrophes.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:39 No.4454370
    Out of every race we have conquered, your is the only one that speaks of this ..."Free will".

    Does it not sadden you that your entire civilization was based on a concept that could never logically exist?

    All you have done...Is waste your own time.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:40 No.4454378

    "You know what? We are afraid of the same thing. We're the same on that basic, emotional level. But, you see, you haven't realized what you're afraid of. You've always had that thing, that one thing that made you forget, made you never realize your fears. I, on the other hand... I never had it. I'm not afraid anymore, because i'm already suffering from it. That's why i hate you. That's why i'm going to kill you right here, right now. Because i hate you so much. Because you're lucky, and i'm not.
    Now, meet death."
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:43 No.4454397
    "I, for one, feel no need to shower you with insults and attempt to make you feel sorry for me. I shall let my blades do the talking."
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:44 No.4454403
    ...Cant a Lich study in peace?
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:44 No.4454406
    "Fuck you!!!! I'm a badger!" or
    "Fuck you!!!! I have a badger" (when i play 4e, shaman with badger as animal spirit)

    used every fucking day
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:45 No.4454419
    Being undead sucks, I miss my jaw.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:46 No.4454424
    I've used that one before. We were playing a game of MaidRPG, and our master said we could only have one loli maid in the party. I wanted to play a loli vampire necromancer. The other guy wanted to play a loli scientist genius character who was pretty much his old Star Wars character as a loli.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:47 No.4454431
    I fucking know you. You played a one-off on suptg with me and you had a badger.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:47 No.4454434
    "I am the great Cackletta's most best pupil, who is named Fawful! I am here, laughing at you! If you are giving us the chase, just to get your silly princess's voice, then you are idiots of foolishness! Princess Peach's sweet voice will soon be the bread that makes the sandwich of Cackletta's desires! And this battle shall be the delicious mustard on that bread! The mustard of your doom!"
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:55 No.4454482
    "This spaceship... I lied to you. It can land, yes. But i haven't said how. You see, this is nothing more than an evac capsule. It will hit the atmosphere, it's thermal shield will survive, tho. Then, a special parachute will brake us, shaking our bodies so hard that these comfy chairs will crush your ribs... if only. Then, it will hit the ground at like, don't know the number of miles per hour, but it IS going to hurt. Really hurt.
    Now. Sit down, shut up, hold on.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)18:57 No.4454499
    dude, i don't use to post in /tg/
    actually i don't use to post in 4chan
    but im sure that his badger was better than him
    >> I apologized on 4chan 05/01/09(Fri)19:08 No.4454579
    Once I was a Psyker in a game of DH, I loudly proclaimed

    Before headbutting to poor SOB so hard his head exploded.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)19:51 No.4454871
    You though you had it all. But now, look at thyself. You're nothing. Nothing at all. You lost it. You had it.
    Ain't it grand?
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)20:04 No.4454956
    "May your profit exceed your tragedy."

    Translated from Draconic. Popular among the Dragonborn and the Kobolds they bully.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)20:08 No.4454988
    "This world is a illusion, a reflection off a mirror. Allow me to shatter it."
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)20:48 No.4455288
    "Now drink with me and make poses"
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)20:54 No.4455333
    I played a Veteran Sgt Guardsmen in a DH game once. After a long fight with a demon(I had one arm and one of my legs was disabled) I told him "You have shed my blood. You have broken my bones. You have beaten me to a bloody pulp. You will not kill me. Period."

    And then...I died.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)20:56 No.4455360
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)20:58 No.4455374
    Evil guy: "The strong will survive, while the weak die. There is no way around it. It is a law of nature."
    Good guy: "I never studied law! Defend yourself!"
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)21:01 No.4455393
    "For the slingdom."
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)21:13 No.4455482
    "This is the part of the fight where I'm supposed to spout some pseudo-philosophical crap to make myself sound deep and show that I've learned something about myself, but it boils down to this: I am better than you. All those henchmen you threw at me sharpened my skills nicely for gutting you, you miserable bastard."
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)21:17 No.4455504
    Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 05/01/09(Fri)21:19 No.4455516

    Sup, Papa Nurgle.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)21:20 No.4455519

    sup, Isaiah 48:10
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)21:26 No.4455562
    "No matter how many tears I squeeze from your eye sockets, no matter how many screams I wring from your tortured throat, it will never sate the rage I feel from what you have done this day. I shall break you again and again, and when I lose hope for any feelings of gratification I may gain from such actions, I will dominate you. You shall have no release from my iron will- not even death. For the only solace I could gain from this event is the destruction of your mind and the dedication of your body to great deeds. Reflect upon these words- for this shall be the last moment of your life not filled with torment. You are undone.
    >> TheLionHearted !HAGYQOveO. 05/01/09(Fri)21:35 No.4455624
    rolled 1, 4, 3 = 8

    Don't have a favorite quote but these from the 4th ed. FR Players guide is pretty awesome, “Kill me? You would better be served trying to cleave the
    wind, or quell a volcano’s fury. Can you slay a mountain?”,“Only a fool fights against the wind.”,“Sheath your sword fool, or I’ll melt it to slag in your hands.”,"The stone is strong. It does not yield. Nor do I."
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)21:37 No.4455641
    your show just got canceled *boom*

    This is your stop! *kick someone off a moving vehicle*

    Sucks to be you! *send someone out an airlock*

    Dinner's on me *poison!*

    Hate to ask, but can you break a fifty? *BOOM .50 cal HEADSHOT!*

    We have knuckle sandwiches, but you should try the club! *HIT A FACE WITH CLUB*

    If you won't take a knee, i'll take yours (kneecap attack!*

    Why don't you take a good look at the view! *defenstration!*

    You should wash your eyes thoroughly! *attack with acid*

    How adoreable! *knock someone out with a door*

    There's always room for jello! *kick someone into an ooze monster*

    I've got a cure for what ales ya right here *smash an ale bottle over someone's head*

    Give my regards to gandalf, motherfucker. *stab a wizard and cause him to fall off a really tall drop*

    Sorry but i've no time to cuttle, *punch a mindflayer in the face*
    >> GURPSfag 05/01/09(Fri)21:51 No.4455723
    *After breaking someone's arm* "Your bones have a good rhythm to them. Ever thought of joining a band?"

    *Lighting someone on fire in a cold environment* "It's not ICE to meet you."

    "My fists will bury you better than any shovel."

    "What time is it? *Victim looks at watch in confusion* Time to die!"

    "May your god have mercy on you, because I'm not going to."

    *after chopping off someone's hand* "I hope you can count in a base five system!"

    "Your blood will stain the ground and be the red carpet I will tread upon towards victory!"

    "Not to worry, I'll remember you. I'm going to kill all your friends and family, so someone will have to."
    >> TheLionHearted !HAGYQOveO. 05/01/09(Fri)21:54 No.4455738
    "All practical applications of negotiation become impractical when the fighting starts."
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)22:03 No.4455775


    You're fired *flick a match into an importantly placed gas puddle*

    Allow me to provide you with some visual aids! *bite lip and spit bloody saliva into foes eyes* (only works if you have AIDS)

    Give yourself a hand! *cut off an enemy hand*

    and gone tomorrow! *kill a rabbit or burn/ tear the hair off someone's head"

    Lookout behind you! *snap a neck 180 degrees*
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)22:03 No.4455776
    "I'm not following you because I want a part of this silly quest. I'm here because you're going the right way. I'm here because I need to kill five men. And then, I will die."
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)22:07 No.4455802
    I will flay the skin from your flesh, rend the flesh from your bones, and break you into a thousand pieces.
    And you still will not have suffered enough.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)22:11 No.4455831
    this thread has too much wangst wank, more puns godammit, more puns!
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)22:15 No.4455862

    >Give my regards to gandalf, motherfucker. *stab a wizard and cause him to fall off a really tall drop*

    I am using this
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)22:17 No.4455873
    I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum...
    -natural 1-
    And I'm all out of ass.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)22:18 No.4455882
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)22:20 No.4455896
    "You're the species, I'm the extinction!"
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)22:21 No.4455903
    (Leaving an enemy vampire staked in the sunrise)

    You want mercy? *point to sun* Try asking God. I only give justice.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)22:25 No.4455928
    "Kiss the sun you filthy lick!"
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)22:27 No.4455935
    Douse them with Blessed Sunny D first.
    It probably won't do anything but humiliate them.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)22:30 No.4455952
         File :1241231409.jpg-(7 KB, 320x240, no god.jpg)
    7 KB

    "...No God..."
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)22:31 No.4455960
    There are only 2 types of puns that I like. These fall into one of those types.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)22:34 No.4455975
    "Hope you believe in reincarnation, otherwise this will suck"
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)22:34 No.4455976
    I have in fact delivered "The gods forgive, my son; I do not. Perhaps you should take it up with them" before I Slay Living'ed a bad guy.
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)22:49 No.4456082
    I think I'll set you on fire now...
    >> Anonymous 05/01/09(Fri)23:14 No.4456272
    More like "No GoAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!"
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)03:00 No.4457671
    "I believe the term you are...searching for is 'god'."

    "Who am I? I'm the kid who's dreams you screwed over so you could be a super-powered asshole. I'm the kid who's heroes you kicked in the teeth. I'm a miserable nobody I am gonna FUCK YOU UP!"

    "You, Point. You, Ariel attack. You, reinforcements. And you? Shut up."

    "I am not a god. Gods become forgotten. I am power."

    "The Code bleeds. The Code protects. The Code is power, it is energy, it is creativity. The Code is God, it is All. The Code is the Ghost, the walk-through-walls. The Code is Power Overwhelming, idclip, UUDDLRLRSS. The Code is all. The Code bleeds, and demands that the bug be cleansed. The virus removed. I am the hammer of the Code. XYZZY, Plague."
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)03:00 No.4457673
    Don't cry over spilled blood. ...well, I guess you can. Since it's your own. And all.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)03:01 No.4457681
    Gaze upon my awesomesauce, ye douchemotrons, and defibrilate!
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)03:03 No.4457700
    (From a female drow.)

    Cute axe. Did your daddy make it for you?
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)03:05 No.4457715
    I agree with you in principle but you go too far, mom!
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)03:05 No.4457721
    "It is not within my power to judge your soul, lost one. The Goddess, however, shall see to your fate, once I deliver you unto her. May you have her blessing, child."
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)03:08 No.4457741
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)03:08 No.4457743
    There's actually comedy goldmines waiting to be tapped on account of drow women trying to be offensive/intimidating to surface males and failing. Like a female drill sergeant who got so angry at my platoon that she shrieked "OH, SO Y'ALL WANNA PLAY FUCK FUCK GAMES?!" then suddenly rushed inside all embarrassed.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)03:17 No.4457782
    This will happen soon in my current campaign, I'm LN with (long story, DM's fault), some sort of greater demon stuck in a (fucking fragile) jewel and bound to obey 1, and only 1, order I give it when I break the jewel. After that it, as it was being bound, it said it will kill the shit out of me. (Grammar that, nazis).

    Said to BBEG at the final confrontation:
    "Yeah... you've got the <mcguffin>."
    "Yeah.... you've got an army behind you."
    "Yeah..... you've got magical power that could blow into little itty bitty pieces in an instant."
    ***Pulls out jewel and lets it drop to the stone floor***
    "But you know what?"
    "I've got balls the size of grapefruit, motherfucker."
    "Kill him."
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)03:18 No.4457788

    Actually, I think the comedy goldmine is that lines like "Did your mommy make it for you" are entirely relative to culture, and thus stupid insults.

    Like stupid matriarchal societies are best when used to point out that patriarchy is just as stupid.


    "Once I'm done with you, I think I'll comfort your poor father. Does he have a big dick?"
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)03:18 No.4457793
    Goddamn it
    blow ME into itty bitty pieces....
    goddamn it
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)03:23 No.4457810
    Can you imagine an alternate universe with a drow-female dominated 4chan?

    "-2 Dex, Int, and Cha lol"
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)03:23 No.4457813
    The BBEG to himself:

    "And then *Group Leader's name* said 'lets divy up the loot', wahahahahahahaha.

    Oh, is that them? Yeah, you go ahead and attack *town name*, they're not there to defend it any more. I'll hop on over on the carpet teleporter after I'm done with them."

    Incidentally, this is why Sense Motive is absolutely fucking necessary even in dungeon crawls when the BBEG is level 1. He wasn't even talking to anyone, there were just like seventeen traps on the carpet.

    We all agreed our DM was an asshole. But he was a clever asshole, and we all laughed before getting our do-over.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)03:35 No.4457865
    My character to the BBEG, campaign conclusion.

    "You don't get it, do you? All your convoluted bullshit about gods and justice and the cosmic order DOESN'T MATTER RIGHT NOW! As of now I am your god, and I say BURN!"

    Then I throw him into a fire pit.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)03:46 No.4457944

    dude, I wanna do that now.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)03:50 No.4457961
    To quote someone I used to game with on occasion, "Look, I know we vote to be awesome about fifty percent of the time, but I know *I'm* awesome a hundred percent of the time."
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)04:02 No.4458016
    this video is related

    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)04:18 No.4458127
    Something I WILL do if the DM is ever stupid enough to give me a chance at it: when the BBEG is in the middle of his blah blah blah I will so smack him in the face with the most powerful spell I have around and then proceed to shriek "STOP MAKING NOISES".

    Fortunately he was yet to be cliché enough.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)05:03 No.4458362

    You've been waiting ages and that is the best thing you can think of? Christ.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)05:05 No.4458378
    Gold is for the mistress -- silver for the maid --
    Copper for the craftsman cunning at his trade."
    "Good!" said the Baron, sitting in his hall,
    "But Iron -- Cold Iron -- is master of them all."
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)07:37 No.4459043
    *As an evil leader who reveals the earth elementals the paladins just killed were polymorphed angels*

    "Rocks die, everyone falls."
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)07:48 No.4459102
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)07:49 No.4459108
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)07:49 No.4459113
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)07:51 No.4459133
    By making your opponent facepalm at your silly accent? In that case, French should get a permanent +2 on Initiative.
    >> thejamesw. 05/02/09(Sat)07:51 No.4459135
    "My god is an orbital laser."

    In reference to Flamestrike.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)07:53 No.4459147

    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)12:40 No.4460909
    Any more?
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)12:41 No.4460927
    "All your base are belong to us now"
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)12:49 No.4461010
         File :1241282995.jpg-(179 KB, 750x600, 1226004867974.jpg)
    179 KB
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)12:54 No.4461047
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)12:59 No.4461085
    It's time to put you out in the cooler!
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)13:03 No.4461112
    Thread is full of wangst and faggots being overdramatic because they think they look cool, but are in fact just being wangsty faggots who play too much WoW.

    Exception made to the wonderful Swarzenneger-esque puns.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)13:04 No.4461123
    It's not as much about what I'd say and more about how I hate that trope.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)13:05 No.4461137
    After destroying a air transport, kicking someone from a helicopter, or other related aerial shennigans:

    "Hope you were expecting some turbulence, moterfucker."
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)13:07 No.4461153
    Kick someone from a vehicle:

    Looks like this is your stop.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)13:07 No.4461156
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)13:10 No.4461184
    "I'm going to pull your head off.” “Oh no, please don't pull my head off.” “I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head.”
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)13:10 No.4461189
    When all you have is a hammer...
    Steal a gun.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)13:11 No.4461190
    I don't think that most of them think they are cool. I think that they're just having fun.

    >wonderful Schwarzenegger-esque puns

    Yes...yes they were.
    >> Anonymous 05/02/09(Sat)13:13 No.4461215
    "When at first you don't succeed, you need a bigger gun"

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