lolwut?

Let's see ... the AdMech.

They would spend this time going over all those STCs they keep finding and hoarding and actually taking the time to fiddle with the options.

An eccentric or two would be polishing a Titan, like some sort of personal Hot Rod.

"Those damn traitor marines are going to do some pretty nasty stuff over there, but...I just sat down, ya know?"

Imperial citizens would just go about their businesses. An early morning prayer for the emperor, then breakfast, shopping, school, afterschool clubs ...

Nids would mill around in confusion.

>Imperial citizens would just go about their businesses. An early morning prayer for the emperor, then after breakfast prayer, some more prayer, prayer school, afterschool prayer ...

Kharne wonders why his arm isn't moving and realizes it's stuck under a boulder.

The Tyranids, it is reported, are finally full. They have summoned the Galactic Waiter and gotten their check for the meal. They then turned down an offer for dessert and politely left the galaxy with some after-dinner mints. Apparently the cost of all the things they ate was around $14.56 in whatever sort of currency they used. Imperial Generals were infuriated that their worlds and armies were valued so low, but didn't do anything about it saying, "I dont wanna."

Sororitas would go on a pilgrimage to Holy Terra. Coming back with lots of souvenirs for their sisters on the Covenant. Some late afternoon tea and biscuits, then it's off to the torture chambers; lots of people awaiting to see the light of the emperor.

>>4448007
>>Some late afternoon tea and biscuits

Sororitas are BRITISH?!?!?!

>>4447800
That image is flawed, everyone knows it is actually the alliance that is full of little children.
Tyranids continue eating. Is their really anything else that they would do?

>>4448087
>SORORITAS ARE BRITISH
>British company

WELL GEE YA THINK?

>>4448087
the whole galaxy is British, at lest humans, orks and eldar are

>>4447902
Eventually the Genestealers organize a poker game with the Ultramarines they were fighting yesterday.

Awkward tension reigns.

>>4448120
No, the Eldar are french.

>>4448120
Merika would like a word with you. No but really, the galaxy is very widely varied. You've got Germans (ie Krieg), Mongols in the form of that biker chapter, and others.

>>4448099

SOILER ALERT:
Horde was the hardcore peoples faction until the kids heard about how kewl the horde was and started that side.

Also Blood Elves


TL;DR ENTIRE MMORPG IS BABIES

>>4448223
Is that actually an official planet or regiment?

>>4448223
no bub, merica was CRUCHED by the emps in his path for unification of the earth, and the rest are just British colonies except for krieg and the marine chapter home worlds. all ives are hong-kong, all agriworlds are either india or the shires, and the Damocles gulf is basically the Caribbean.

>>4448241
Fan regiment based on the Bell of Lost Souls' Macharian Crusade campaign feature.

Merica is mentioned in several black library titles as being an important area on holy terra and where most Terran Guard regiments are raised from.

>>4448264
I thought it was just a bunch of hive cities where rich people lived during the Great Crusade.

the space wolves continue doing what they always do when they are not fighting and drink themselves even stupider

Due to the downright impossibility of the circumstances, Jurgen goes out and bangs all the girls who turned him down with "When we stop fighting the Eldar/Orks/Tau/Tyranids."

The Orks, losing their drive to fight, at first muck about, tinkering with their shootas and sharpening their choppas out of habit. During this time of peace, a new sport emerges: Squig racing! Soon, orks of all tribes are breeding supa' fast red squigs, dead 'ard black squigs, and lucky as grotz blue squigs; all attempting to earn teef, loot, and the prestigious trophies.

Soon, the phenomenon spreads like a herd of cave squigs without a grot herder! Other races begin to join in on the hoot and hollering fun. Chaos begins to make daemon squigs who breathe fire and sing Queen songs (just as planned). Space Marines, not to be out done, breed "Beakie Squigs" giant squigs encased in power armor! Eldar soon join in, making powerful Seer Squigs, who can use psychic abilities to predict their opponent's moves. Tau also join in, making super advances robo-squigs, armed with the most sophisticated GPS, radar, and strategy AI. Even some reports of Necrons and Nids trying to join in the act, but they just can't seem to do it right.

>>4448229
Haha, no.

Undead rogues have always been the same player base as night elf ones.

the angry marines sit there confused for a moment then get angrier at the fact that they dont know why they dont feel like fucking shit up

Khorne crawls into a fetal position and begins sobbing quietly.

>>4448289

This is now a new table top setting.

The Tau spend the first few hours re-checking their supplies, making sure everything is secure, sending probes out.

After a day, they've started reconfiguring their drones to broadcast advertising and project holographic images.

A week later, the Tau have become the universal greatest provider of Xeno porn. For the greater good, of course.

OI! WHY AL' YA GITZ MUCKIN ABOUT!

The PDF on each planet, which had grown considerably since they now don't get wiped out every 50 years due to small skirmishes have turned their attentions to more civil peace keeping activities such as settleing domestic disputes and public disturbances.
In addition to much of the imperium being very bored they decide to record some of them and broadcast them every Wednesday, 20:00 Terra Standard Time.

>>4448289
"Welcome to the Terran 6th annual Squig Races! I'm your host, Brother Tandral." the power armored clad announcer said into his microphone.

"An' I'm yer co-'ost Ghanfink. Tonight we'z got a 'everal big namez in da' racin' curcuit 'ere. Don' we Tandral?" said a massive green ork, encased in mega-armor with a blow horn.

"You are correct! Six racers and their caretakers from all around the known universe come here tonight to find out whose the fastest, the toughest, and baddest squig their is."

"Got dat rioght. 'Ere comes da' racers now!"

The Necrons go back to sleep, telling everyone to keep it down as they tuck in.

Just before the outbreak of, well, peace, a grand battalion of Necron Warriors had teleported into the streets of Calldion, a small Imperial world. The citizenry flees in panic, the PDF makes a token mobilization.

"What are those black bastards doing down there?", Planetary Marshall Withers spat onto the ground. He hadn't survived a lifetime of Orcs and Tyranids to retire to this crap.
"Well, sir... they appear to be... well...", said the young Lieutenant at his side, lowering his magnocs. "You really should take a look at this. At the end of the line there.."

The Marshall lifted the Magnocs and grumbled. They stood in the streets, row after row of black metal and green eyes. Then he spotted movement, and zoomed in. "What in Throne's name..."

At the end of the long row of black bodies, a single Necron warrior had lowered it's weapon, and was staring at it's left foot.. which was tapping. Then it looked at the other foot, and tapped a few times. Nearby machines likewise trained their gaunt gaze at the offending feet.

The lone moving Necron suddenly stepped out of rank, and began to tapdance down the seemingly endless row of black warriors, it's feet tamping out a staccato that the directional mic on the Magnocs barely picked up. Then it spun around, using the Gauss rifle as a makeshift cane. Then all along the ranks of deathly synthetic skeletons it had gone past, more dancing started. Soon the cacophany of metal feet on asphalt could be heard unassisted, all of them tapping in time. As the Marshall lowered the Magnocs, he noticed that the guardsmen nearby were rocking their heads to the beat. He had to admit... it was kinda catchy.

>>4448458
I just had a picture in my head of Necrons doing river dance.

>>4448289
>>4448413

This is now canon.

>>4447800
The Warp, although still chaotic and mind-warping as usual, is slightly different today. Even by this realm's abyssal standards, something feels... perverse.

The sounds of battle fade into a long, heavy uncomfortable silence.

A Slaaneshi cult slowly grinds to a halt in the middle of their daily drug-fueled orgy as though wondering whether or not all this excess is worth it. Each participant pulls his/her/its appendages out of the others' orifices, and one by one they awkwardly wander off like drunkards from an abruptly ended party.

A heaven-rending noise echoes across the mutated expanse.

Tw­o Great Unclean Ones sit idle, picking half-heartedly at each others' blisters. Why bother; all these thousands of diseases feel like more of the same after a while. Necrosis, boils, cancer - they've all been around so long there's no fun in causing new infections anymore.

The strange noise pauses briefly, then regains its previous volume.

On a battlefield that had been in constant use for millennia, Bloodletters stand around bewildered, surprised by their sudden lack of violent urges. A Flesh Hound stops mid-attack, sniffs the air, and sits down to lick itself.

Khârn, staring wide-eyed in shock, decided that this shit was bananas.

>>4448525

"What the fuck." He hefted Gorechild and scratched his head in confusion (serving only a symbolic purpose; he'd been wearing his armor for ten thousand years, and he damned sure wasn't going to leave it now).

"Seriously guys, this shit's not funny." He drummed his plated fingers impatiently on the handle of his chainaxe.

Nobody moved.

Khârn was annoyed. "Hell with this. You're all dead!" He adjusted his grip, lifted Gorechild over his head for a crushing blow... and stopped.

The Betrayer, chainaxe still raised, was speechless. He could understand being unable to kill something - maybe a Primarch or Titan, some enemy of distinctly greater power - but being UNWILLING to kill? Inconceivable. But he still couldn't bring himself to carry out his attack.

The indescribably terrible noise once again rent th' affrighted skies, and Khârn suddenly realized where it was coming from. He turned and charged towards its source.

- - - - -

>>4448532
"Hey, Khorne?"

The former World Eater stepped under the portcullis into the Blood God's fortress, footsteps echoing oddly.

"GO AWAY."

"But, My Lord, there's s-"
"NOW!"

The palace was briefly filled with a deafening rumble as the anger in Khorne's voice loosened a small avalanche of skulls.

"...are you all right?"
"I'M FI-" *sniff* "-FINE, DAMMIT!"

Khârn turned down a hallway and found the ancient deity sitting by himself in a corner. "Talk to me, Khorne."
"THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT. EVERYTHING'S FUCKING PEACHY."
"You know that's not true."
"YOU DEFY ME?! I OUGHT TO... TO..." Khorne threw his massive head back against the wall and let out another thundering yell of anguish.
"WHAT'S THE POINT? I MEAN, I'M ALWAYS HACKING AWAY AT MY ENEMIES BUT THEY ALWAYS COME BACK. IT'S LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING GREATER KEEPING ME FROM MAKING ANY PERMANENT CHANGES TO THE UNIVERSE. I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE." He let himself fall backwards, his incredible mass sending liquid-like ripples along the adamantium floor.

>>4448458
inb4 it's Necron THRILLLLLAAAAA, thrilla nite.

>>4448535
"Is that all?" Khârn asked, shakily regaining his footing. "Come on, that doesn't matter. Remember the Age of Apostasy?" He stretched up and patted Khorne's pauldron in what he assumed was a reassuring way.

"...YEAH." The chaos god laughed. "THAT VANDIRE GUY WAS PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME FOR AN IMPERIAL. FILLED MY VIOLENCE QUOTA FOR THAT WHOLE MILLENNIUM."

"And what about just a little while ago, that whole Armageddon thing?" Khârn suggested, seeing an opening. "Crazy-ass Imperials trying to take it back AGAIN!"
"OH YEAH. DAMN THAT WAS FUN!"

The Betrayer smiled. "Now you're talking. That's why you got into this in the first place, isn't it? Not for someone else's orders, not for some worthless planet, but just to chop some shit up."
"DAMN STRAIGHT!" the god agreed, getting noticeably excited.
"So how about we get back to what we do best, huh?"
"FUCK YEAH!" Khorne shouted.

The ground shook violently as the colossal deity jumped to his feet. Stretching his immense arms above his head, he let out an echoing war cry that sent shockwaves through the very essence of the Warp. The Lord of Rage had returned.

In the grim darkness of the far future, there is still only war.

The Dark Eldar just sit around Cormorragh, picking their teeth, learning to play the Banjo, and occasionally breaking the monotony by going "Yyyyyyep..."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!! Rook to G3!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! Pawn to C5"
"*sigh* dis jest aint da same boiz"

>>4448525
awesome but doesn't quite seem right since it is just the urge to kill each other so slaaneshi cultist would still be screwing like droped up rabbits

>>4448413
"First up, from Cassain VII, Gob-Trap, and his breeder Muker!"

A large rusted cage holding a onyx black beast with hastily painted white checkers and a gigantic mouth lined with steel coated teeth, is wheeled out onto the arena floor by a nob in yellow armor. Servitors armed with cameras attempt to get close ups of this beast, but one ends up getting chomped in half through the bars of the cage.

"Now dat is a squig! Gob-Trap has won dis contest da' last two years now, and his trainer is 'appier dan a grot wit' noffin' ta' do."

"You got that right. But he's got some tough competition this year.. Speaking of which, here comes another one now."

Lambs for the Lamb God! Cuddles for the Cuddle Throne!

Orks? Lose the will to fight? That's like dividing by zer- OH SHI-!

>>4448579
An eldar squig. Through breeding or some sort of manipulation it was now skinny and sleek. Not squig like at all. Additions of wraithbone ran over it's body and it's hair which it now apparently had was smooth and moved in the slightest breeze.
All every Ork could think when they saw it go past was one word.
Wimpy

>>4449367

It probably is fast as fuck, though. You have to give it to the Eldar - they seriously know how to run.

>>4449419
Doesn't help too much if it is eaten in the first round.

Off Topic? Maybe?

Could you possibly strain your imagination to apply this to your universe. Very Yes! Have Fun! /tg/

>>4449367
We have to design all Squigs

>>4450123
The necron squig is sleek and metal. Eyes a glow and mechanical perfection that defies logic. Sand messes up the joints though.

>>4449432

But in the same vein, the others can't very well eat it if it speeds away like he's made of the pure essence of redness before the second they give the start.

That said, I would recommend we put the Necron mechsquig under scrutiny. There's been accusations of it teleporting when the cameras are looking elsewhere.

It might look like this.

>>4450189
>pure essence of redness before the second they give the start

I'm not entirely sure why I wrote that "before" in there. I was intending to say it sped away the second they gave the start. Maybe this is me trying to imply to myself that Eldar would cheat anyway. Or maybe not. Stupid schizophrenia.

Lets see 'ere...

Marine Squig- Good all around
Ork Squig- Slower but tougher
Necron Squig-
Imperial Guard Squig-
Eldar Squig- Fast as balls


Wait. Fuck this. We need to decide what the Squigs are going to be capable of doing on the table top before we even try and come up with racial characteristics.

>>4447800

I think the OP picture would be more accurate if the character was a small pony tailed girl


and the user was a fat hairy male.

>>4452493

Go on...

>>4452455
>>4452464
>>4452472
>>4452485
>>4452493
Maoar!

Source - Rogue Trader - Waargh The Orkz

Oh, hey, the flood-prevention-thingy is off.

Oh, wait, its back on.
Anyway, the end.

>>4452917
DAPPER ORK.

>>4452957
Yeah, he's been seen here on \tg\ a lot. Less so recently. So if anyone wodered where he is from, now you know.

In the 41st millennia there is only...


PEACE!

>>4448570

>>4452524
>>4452781

>>4448289

We are pleased..

>>4448289
>>4454392

Tyranids float about in the vast emptiness of space, zombiewalking as if they were, without a single thought crossing the Shadow in the Warp.

Perhaps, having the first chance ever to think of something other than LUNCHTIME OM NOM NOM, they have ... an idea!

And a whole tendril of Kraken Hive Fleet launches itself off straight into a nearby sun.

>>4454433

>>4454450
and start photosynthesizing €?

>>4447800

Fapping at battle sisters is customary, sacred, and non heretic on Holy Days only, rest of the year you must fap at Tau porn

>>4454653
>>4454645
>>4454638
>>4454466
>>4454433
>>4454383
>>4454331
>>4454293
>>4452493
>>4452485
>>4452472
>>4452464
>>4452455
Space Marines playing MISSIONARY OF WAR II in the Break Room.

A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>4455601
are you sure?
'cuz it could be DAEMON MAY CRY 4

Bumping.

Sisters of Battle are now just Sisters of Fellowship.

And they have lesbian sex. All the time. Forever.