That's fucking genius.

Brilliant.

>>4323748

best idea

I still remember the ship "FUCK YOU".

I think it should be named "One of Ours, Sir!"
>We see a ship, it's "She's One of Ours, Sir!"
>We see a ship, it's "One of Ours, Sir!"

>>4323839
Original only adds to the ensuing confusion.

Gooble goble, gooble goble...

>>4323871
Ship 'Cum Dumpster'? Or ship 'Om Nom Nom'?

I remember there was a pic of a model starship that was named the "God Dammit" or something of that nature.

>>4323918
"It's the 'Cum Dumpster', sir."

"What's the lieutenant's wife doing outside the ship?"

For scouting missions, consider the fine vessel "Never Mind Just a Sensor Blip".

Always wanted to name a pirate ship "We stop for no one."

See if the authorities still ask.

"We're Planning Mutiny", Sir!

Captain takes out his pistol, shoots the first mate down.

>>4323965
An admiral surveys a vast stellar shipyard and breathes in deeply with a smile of accomplishment "Ahh the Cum Dumpster, she'll be mightiest ship in the line" he says as his subordinates look on in proud amazement.

>>4324042
Might work better as

"Radar signature confirmed... It's "Aw Hell, Consider This a Mutiny!"

instead of a name painted in a line across the hull have it printed as infinity ∞ and call it the "oooooo"

"Whats the name of that ship?"

"It's the oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

Two ship names I've ran into recently and liked a lot:

"U.S.S. GhazPORK Fucks Your Mother", a completely ordinary cheapass passenger transport with no weapons of any sort. Nor life support. Or anything, really. Just a plain old rustbucket with a weird name.

Battleship "The Invincible, mark XVII". Makes you wonder what happened to the previous sixteen supposedly invincible ships.

"Held together with duct tape"

>>4324146
Just like your mother!

How about naming your ship with some obscure unicode characters, like "ᙱߐփᘌޝᐛѼ"?
"It's ... uh... It's the ... um."

Name your garbage barge "Their Flagship!" and your flagship "Garbage Disposal Barge A45V00Q".

USS ಠ_ಠ~

Name it "Your mother, sir".
"We've a large signature on radar, it's...your mother, sir"

>>4323918
>>4323965
>>4324115

I'll bet her gun ports are always open.

>>4323839
Introducing Captain Funkiller

>>4324222
Other options include

Your Ex-Wife
Your Mother In-Law
Duck Season
Rabbit Season

Ships do not reference each other by name typically, but class.

I know this because I've watched Hunt for Red October.

>>4324242
>Your Ex-Wife
>Your Mother In-Law
Both horrible ideas. Any vessel, good or bad, will fire on you without hesitation.
"Your newborn baby son", on the other hand...

"Sir, we have a new contact. Transponder indicates it's the "flagship carrying our admiral", sir.

The USS Cock and Balls

>>4324248
In space it's a lot harder to determine class.

>>4324117
This would cause hell on a 40k ship

>>4324306
"Radar signature confirmed... It's "GAHGSDH Death to the false Emperor!"

>>4324202
>"Garbage Disposal Barge A45V00Q"

I prefer "Nuclear Waste Transport."

>>4324313
BLAM

>>4324306
I think naming your ship 'the commisar's mother' will get you killed alot quicker'

Maximum FUCK

>>4324313
The mighty ship 'Not Abaddon's New Flagship'
The fine vessal known as the 'The Just As Planne'

USS "This is Not the Ship We Are Looking For"

>>4324336
Dont forget the Litany of Litany's Litany

>>4324336

That sir is either a weapon setting or speed factor.

>>4324248
Part correct. They go <name> <model #> or <class> <name>. I did a tour in the Marines and spent a lot of time on Navy ships.

"Hailing U.S.S Iwojima LHD-7"
or
"Hailing Destroyer Feelsgoodman"

>>4324347
ITS BOTH!

Dibs on "Candlejack"

Good luck to my enemies in keeping enough lookouts and comm sailors aro

SS BALLSBALLSBALLSBALLSBALLSBALLSBALLSBALLSBALLSBALLS BALLS OF STEEL

name the ship after their chief engineer like in airplane

Hugh Man

>>4324350
Hailing U.S.C Giant Rod 117.

"Sir they aren't responding"
~
"Open the Aft Doors and bring it in slowly crewmen"

"Its the 'OH GOD FIRE IN ENGINEERING ABANDON SHIP!'"

"Sir! We've located a ship. It's name is.... it's name is..."

"Sailor! Report the name of the damn vessel!"

"I wish. It's machine code"

>>4324387
Name the ship "Abandoned Ship"

"It's the 'USS Self Destruct Code Alpha'- OH FUUUUUUU-"

The USS Hurt Me More

I live on the coast and I intend one day to get a boat. Thank you /tg/ for inspiring me to give it a hilarious name. I just hope whatever clerk at the agency that approve names has a sense of humor.

"A Gigantic Battleship" with the quote marks.

For a system defense ship I'd use something like "Weather Satellite #7" or "Astrogation Beacon #50" and then put IFF beacons that say "SysDef #x" on a bunch of asteroids.

Menstrating.

"She's ...."Menstrating" sir..."

"System error (2xf128bf425-fib) Error 3: failed to take master pipe connection lock"

sir its "a reaver ship coming straight for us"

"thats no moon"

"bob dylan cant sing"

"im fucking your wife"

>>4324350
This is predicated on the fact that they are detecting your ship before they see it.

>>4324276
Then it must be balls fucking impossible to determine the name by it being painted on the side of the ship.

>>4324185
HE COMES

I somehow create my ship in such a shape that it's Radar return signature spells out something. Or maybe a penis. Anything goes.

>>4324185
That's when the comms guy finally loses it.

MOTHERFUCKING UNICODE OR WINGDINGS SCREW IT I'M GOING AWOL.

Maybe KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM KILLSCREAM

>>4324455
>>"bob dylan cant sing"
I lol'd. My girlfriend woke up. She's lol'ing too.

have a whole fleet of ships named a strong of random numbers and letters.

like "ha7najv16dhafkn1" and it's sister ship, the "ana71hfka7fb"

There's no way you could rattle off names like that quickly in battle.

The SS "CAPTAIN WHY WON'T YOU ADMIT OUR LOVE!"

>>4324496
"Sir, it's the USS hey guys copy and paste this in your notepad 4chan.js"

"Sir, ship approaching, nothing on ident."

"Give me visual, magnify.... what the fu..."

Picture related

Ah yes, reminds me of our party's ship in classic 2nd Ed. Spelljammer.

She was a good ship, the "HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR."

>>4324502
I'm laughing so hard I'm coughing right now

>>4324494
Not anymore, he can't.

>>4324518
Goatse.

this is a magnificent thread

Oooh, that's a good trick - hack your FOF beacon to display a ship's name consisting of a buffer overflow code execution exploit.

>>4324140

In most cases, "The Invincible, mark XVII" Would just indicate that the ship was the 17th revision to the Invincible. With the wonders of refitting, this could be one ship that had just been upgraded though 17 revisions.

The Invincible, 17th ship of that name, would be a bit more ironic, but fails when you consider that there have been 8 (nonfictional) ships to bear the name USS Enterprise, most were retired and sent to the breakers rather then destroyed in action.

>>4324473
That's when the comms guy finally LIBERATE
TU
TEMET
EX
INFERIS

>>4324575
"Sir, ship on the sensors - it reads as the... uh oh. I didn't even know this thing COULD bluescreen. How do you reboot a battlecruiser?"

Oh god I can't breathe

I love you /tg/

>>4324575
What?

>>4324575
NIGGERTITS

"Gimme ID on that ship!"

"Um... 'Yor Sofa King Weetod It', sir."

For 40k again, the Chaos Cruiser "By the Emperor, our navigator is possessed, shoot him!".

>>4324575
>FOF beacon
>FOF
>FRIEND or foe
Wouldn't this also effect you allies, as well?

>>4324648
No, unless your Navy has the same unpatched software.

>Nor life support.

Wait, what?

Is it piloted by SPESS UNDEAD?

>>4324660
It technically had life support, but Norton Starship Security had compatibility issues and disabled it. Without bothering to ask the crew first.

>>4324672
>Norton Starship Security

This is the most horrifying future I have ever seen concieved. I...I...oh god

>>4324672
I lol'd.

>>4324684

"I told you we should have installed Skynet. At least that dose what it's supposed to!"

Has this been archived yet?

Sir! It's the "Zalgo"!

What, Zalgo?

Yes, and she's hailing us. Opening fre

H҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠� � ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡ ҉҉ ̔̕̚̕̚҉E̒̓̔̿̕̚̚̕� �̿̿̕̚̕̚̕WHO WAITS ̔̕̚̕̚҉
BEHIND THE҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟� �͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡ ҉҉ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ WALL҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟ ̠͇͡҉O҉ ̵̡̢̢̛̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟ ZALGO ̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎ ̏̐̑̒̓ ̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̕̚̕ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡ ҉҉ ̔̕̚̕̚҉

>>4324748
Yes
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/4323748

"Sir! The 'Hammerheaded Raildwarf' is on a collision course"

"...My god...ABANDON SHIP!"

>>4324748

It just got archived, bitchtits.

"Order to Retreat".

>>4324494
It's "Enjoy your ronery"

Under New Ownership

I had a dwarf paladin named Axebeard Beardaxe

>>4325177
This is why you should never park your trans-atmospheric in a Gungan neighbourhood.

Sir, it's the "Epic Thread"!

:D

Ship names we have actually used in a game: 'The Sensor Anomaly', 'The Probable Cause', and 'The Scarlatta' (sounds innocent, neh? This was a Fading Suns game. Scarlatta was the name of the inquisitorial agent who had the noble's father burned at the stake, and then sent the rest of us into hiding. Shit got awkward when she turned up again, and to avoid blowing everyone's cover we had to pretend we'd never met her. "But we painted her name on the side of the fucking ship!" "Could be any woman." "And the picture of her in nothing but a few red silk scarves that we painted alongside it?!" "Ummm....")

Sir, it's..
"That I Have No Real Motivation For My Work"
"Only Now I Understand My True Feelings"
"The Unbareable Lightness Of It All"
"Time We Turned Around And Went Home"
"Impossible To Tell"
"Our Only True Companions"

>>4325402
>Sir it's...
"That I finally realised I love you, sir. Take me!"

Best source of great ship names ever is Iain M Banks Culture War novels, wherein all ships are sentient, and choose their own names.

Apparently having a somewhat whacked out sense of humour is endemic to AIs. Some choice examples:

The "Prosthetic Conscience"
The "Just Read The Instructions"
The "Of Course I Still Love You"
The "Very Little Gravitas Indeed"
The " It's Character Forming"
The Killer Class Warship "Attitude Adjuster"
The Psychopath Class Warship "Frank Exchange Of Views"
The "Not Invented Here"
The "I Blame My Mother"
The Cruise Ship "Just Passing Through"
The "Only Slightly Bent"
The "Ultimate Ship The Second"
The "It'll Be Over By Christmas"
The "Dramatic Exit, Or, Thank you And Goodnight"
The "Synchronize Your Dogmas"
The "Well I Was In The Neighbourhood"
The "Poke It With A Stick"
The "Someone Else's Problem"
The "We Haven't Met But You're A Great Fan Of Mine"
The "Now Look What You've Made Me Do"

>>4325486
>The "Ultimate Ship The Second"
I lol'd heartily at that one.

>>4325486
I can't help but wonder if there is a ship named
The "All the good names were taken"

Also the best one has the most bland name.
Gray Area.

>>4325486
Wondered when Banks would be mentioned. Culture ships are awesome.

>>4325522

I still love the Gravitas running gag. Apparently at some point some writer from a neighbouring civilisation complained that Culture ships, being as enormously powerful as they are, should have names with a little more gravitas. This resulted in a slew of Culture ships with names like "Very Little Gravitas Indeed"; "Experiencing A Significant Gravitas Shortfall"; "Zero Gravitas"; "Stood Far Back When The Gravitas Was Handed Out"; "Gravitas, What Gravitas?"; "Gravitas... Gravitas... No, Don't Help Me, I'll Get It In A Moment"; "Gravitas Free Zone"; "Low Gravitas Warning Signal", and "Absolutely No You-No-What"

Because the Culture are, basically, colossal dicks.

I'm surprised nobody mentioned the fine warship USS THE GAME or S.S. ESS ESS

>>4325546
Also the AIs don't really care that the crew exists. They're busy playing 40K

>>4325556
All those sound like totally legit names to me...

>>4325544

Yeah, but that's because nobody ever calls The Meatfucker "Grey Area".

I also liked the Idiran ships, which all had names like "Hand of God 236" and "Sword of Justice 658".
Originality was never one of the Idiran's strong points.

>>4325568
Well when you got the nickname MEATFUCKER its a ton better than Gray Area.

What how the fuck does a ship become a meatfucker.

Is that ship from /d/?

>>4325573

Basically, all AI ships are allowed to name themselves. It's considered a fundamental sign of respect to refer to an intelligent AI by the name it chooses for itself.

The Gray Area was so hideously murderous that the other ships now refuse to call it by its chosen name, instead referring to it as "Meatfucker" to indicate their dissatisfaction with its people-killing ways.

If I ever run a "HUMANS FUCK YEAH" campaign there will be a squadron of ships named "Humanity's Middle Finger," containing various vessels culminating in the "Exelion" and the "Thunder Child."

>>4325600
So it'd play 40K with other ships?

>>4325600

Um, what the fuck are you smoking?

It's called the Meatfucker because it spends its time reading the thoughts of entire human populations (using it's stupidly fine resolution sensors to follow the movements of electrical impulses through their neurons). The other AI's find this extremely distasteful, and disturbingly... "intimate".

I mean, ewww... it's like your inside that fleshy mass they call a brain. How sick is that?

Hence, Meatfucker.

>>4325699
So its a dick?

>>4325714

In a word, yes.

>>4325714
Well, they are all dicks. But it is so much of a dick that the other dicks consider it the dickiest.

I would call my ship the "Negrodamus".

It's a perfectly terrifying name full of foreboding.

>>4325792
Because it's based on a Chappelle Show skit and played by a blatant racist?

The SS Honor Harrington is a Sue

>>4324426
What clerk man? you paint that shit on, don't gotta tell nobody. Registering your boat has nothing to do with the name of your boat. Have some fun.

lol, this thread needs to be saved for future generations to enjoy

How about great new names for Culture ships, since we already mentioned them?
My attempt: ROU Make Way

>>4325609
>Thunder Child

Well done, sir. Well done.

Also, mine:
The "Oh no, not again!"
The "Real Thing"
The "Captain's Wife"
The USS "HMS AHT AHTS CRV DB DSV DS9 GTS GSC LB"
The "Running Gag"
The "Public Display of Affection"

>>4325792
Peter wtf....

Also, contributing:
"Enemy vessel detected. It's the Ship!"
"Which ship?"
"The enemy vessel!"
"That ship?"
"No THE Ship."
etc.

Bump.

>>4325766
Why do I see it pulling an Eldrad to random crew members

The best name(s) for a(n) ship ever: "Behind You", and the "Somebodies Behind You".
I mean, think of the hell that would play on the enemy.
"Fire on Behind You!"
"Behind us?! Nobodies behind us!"
"Yes there is somebody behind you!"

Than I can sit on my command chair, snickering evilly at the idiocy of my enemies. Good times.

Captain, she's "A Very Freaky Girl!"

1st mate: It's the "Candle Jack," sir. It's coming up from th

Captain: What? "The Candle Jack"? Evasive man

The whole "Who's on first" routine would fit into this thread very well.