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04/09/09(Thu)06:18 No.4229873 File :1239272300.jpg-(82 KB, 727x382, 6154rorschdies.jpg)
well, let's just say I get the joke, the grand joke of the universe, but it's not a nasty joke, not one made in poor taste, but one made in fun and care. All the horror and hate within the world, it mingles and mixes with the good we see every day and creates a mural in the universe, one so beautiful, that no mortal words could possibly communicate, that brings me to tears of joy every time I think about it in any detail. I don't keep particular track of all the "good deeds" I do. It never occurs to me that I should remember them, do good for the sake of good, ya know? I also don't keep track of all the bad that has been done to me, and trust me, plenty of that has happened throughout my life. I suffered endless peer abuse from kindergarten through high school, and it still feels years behind me. I've had former tormentors turn into good friends, simply because I refuse to hold grudges. That by the same token means i'm anything but naive, in fact, I find I'm VERY insightful. You kind of need it to turn enemies into friends. I'm just incurably optimistic. I embrace my humanity, faults and all, and I occasionally take the time to be quietly proud of myself.
still, that doesn't mean I'm some perfect enlightened young adult, wise beyond my years (though WIS definitely isn't my dump stat), I have some intimacy issues I still have to work out, along with coping with a natural inclination towards the romantic. Rampant insomnia doesn't help either. I have a bad habit of not finishing or following through with what I start and have certain issues concentrating. Either way, I'll get through it somehow, just like every other part of my life. |