>>4191444
Recto blades?? Fucking sick bro, you got the name wrong or something.

GOOSH GOOSH

>>4191444
wut

Your thinking of agonisers. They are brutal and rip a new asshole in any creature.

I dont know how common they, i just started playing Dark Eldar.

>>4191503

assuming he did mean agoniser, and assuming your focusing on close combat, give one to every squad leader in your army.

>>4191523

by focusing on close combat I mean anything other than "leg it to the nearest trees and snipe at the enemy"

>>4191444
wtf is in his right hand? Is that a recto blade?

the eye of terror is the anus of the warp
the dark eldar have come to plug it

A Dark Eldar Agoniser is the weapon for any Dark Eldar nobility. If you're going up against Dark Eldar, target the fag with the hideous looking close combat weapon covered in spikes and barbs. That's an agoniser.

>>4191584

except the dark eldar like most eldar avoid the eye of terror at all costs. Since they literally ripped the galaxy a new hole with thier giant clusterfuck and slaanesh crawled out of it going "k I will have ur solez now"

>>4191609
... Almost every Dark Eldar soldier has those. They're standard close combat weapons.

>>4191655
So every dark eldar has a recto blade? thats OP

Recto blades should work as force weapons IMO.

>>4191662
They don't count as recto blades. They're just double-bladed punching daggers that count as close combat weapons.

So wait... wtf... are recto blades agonisers or cc weapons? or some sort of gun?

>>4191686
THE THING IN THE IMAGE IS JUST A CLOSE COMBAT WEAPON.
WHAT YOU CALL "RECTO BLADE" IS JUST A CLOSE COMBAT WEAPON TO THE DARK ELDAR.
THE STANDARD DARK ELDAR AGONISER LOOKS LIKE AN INCREDIBLE SPIKY POWERFIST

>>4191654

dats alotta venom der

You know, that dagger makes me think of a ship...

>>4191690
Wrong Recto blades are those power weapon axes that the Incubi have.

>>4191720
Those are called Punishers.

>>4191712
The USS Recto Blade?

>>4191609
If thats a recto blade then doesn't he have one on his mask too?

I'm too scared to look up recto blades on google...

Okay, what the fuck is a recto blade?

The Dark Eldar have nothing called a recto blade in their arsenal. They have their close combat weapons, as pictured, they have punishers, which look like glaives, and they have agonisers, which you like incredibly spiky and nasty powerfists.
No recto blades.

>>4191799
I think every dark eldar weapon should be called a recto blade.

Holy fuck recto blades?? Does this mean the Dark Eldar ARE getting a new codex soon?? Please god somebody confirm this.

>>4191816
I concur, though perhaps they should all get one as part of their equipment:

"Dark Eldar warriors are armed with a Splinter Rifle with a build in Recto-Blade and a separate Recto-blade"

"You may upgrade the Archon's Recto Blade to have an agonizer built in."

etc.

>>4191835
Yes. Recto Blades are power weapons that reduce enemy models attacks to 1 for the first round of combat.

>>4191840
holy shit

>>4191840
>>4191836
That would be incredibly broken.

>>4191840
If that is true ork boys will be raped.

I googled "recto blade".
I found NOTHING.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

>>4191867
maybe only HQ choices can take rectoblades.

>>4191840
In the new codex some units can take models hostage if they fail a roll and use them as an extra wound.

>>4191904
>hostages
>40K

wat

>>4191913
Well, it is grim enough; they get used as meatshields or tortured to death at the end.

Recto means Rectum in spanish

>>4191947
I wouldn't be surprised to see dark eldar with rectum blades.

>>4191955
RECTUM?
Damn near killed 'em!

>>4191913
Trust me. You don't want to be a Dark Eldar "hostage".

imagine those cc weapons jammed up your tiny ass

>>4191913
lol somebody doesn't know anything about dark eldar

ur all wrong. a recto blade is the shiv DE hide up their butts.

>>4192017
so thats where all those extra attacks come from

drawfags don't draw enough dark eldar. need moar rectoblade

>>4192041

>>4192090
thin yur ms paints

Nice to see a dark eldar thread.

>>4191456
heres your recto blade

>>4192188
DAT KNIFE

>>4192188
thought it was a spidey dick

>>4191456

oh god i lol'd

Lol, the whole point why DE attack other people is to take hostages.

Doesn't the austrian army use recto blades in real life?

>>4192253
Yes. 100% correct.

>Sphincter Rifle
>Rectum Blade

OH LAWD

>>4192090
I'm 90% sure that is the new cover art for the codex.

>>4192335
Anus Blaster
Dark Shaft

What's so cool about rectal blades?

wikipedia:

"Rectum Blades were used by english slave traders in the early 1800s. These small bladed weapons were used as a form of punishment for slaves. Once inserted into the rectum a switch or string is pulled releasing extra blades from the sides, the handle is then ripped out at a fast speed while twisting."

>>4192427
Anal Spelunkers are weapon proficents with this

>>4192427
wouldn't that make slaves useless?

>>4192448
oh christ why did you had to remember me of that thread

>>4192450
The idea is probably to do it with those you already consider useless, to encourage the rest to stay useful.

Unless you have a use for someone rapidly dying from rectal bleeding of course.

>>4192427
o fuck that would suck

>>4192577
>1guy1jar

>>4192427

This thread is full of win.

I first read that as rectal.
Then a lol'd at the thought of a delfdar using a sword coming out of his ass to assail some poor guardsman.

screw katanas i want a recto blade for christmas

>>4192784
Oh, I'll give you a "recto blade!"

>>4192722
"Rectal Blade: This special blade attached to the wielder's rectum is only used by the most elite of Dark Eldar raiders. It gives the model +1 to their attack characteristic in close combat. This stacks with the bonus for having a weapon in each hand."

>>4192870
Rectal Blade: This special blade carried only by the most brutal and vicious Dark Eldar is designed to tear their opponents a new asshole. Literally. The model gets the Rending special rule, as detailed in the Warhammer 40.000 Rulebook.

So what is it like an axe covered TOW missile that shoots out of the ass or something

>>4192911
its like a blade that you shove in an ass and it expands and shoots blades allover.

>>4192906
Dark eldar warriors with rending would rock. Gimme some rectal blades.

>>4192962

So it's like a shuriken cannon

that goes up the ass

>>4192969
We should send a mail to GW explaining that we've found a way to fix the Dark Eldar. And the solution is Rectal Blades.

Recto Blade Bayonets please.

>>4192784
That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Power Sword" bullshit that's going on in the WH40K system right now. Recto blades deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine recto blade in Commoragh for 20,000,000 throne gelt (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid adamantium with my recto blade.

Dark Eldar smiths spend years working on a single recto blade and ram it up their ass up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to Eldarkind.

Recto blades are thrice as sharp as Imperial swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a power sword can cut through, a recto blade can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a recto blade could easily bisect a Spess Mehreen wearing Terminator armor with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why the Imperium never bothered conquering Commoragh? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Dark Eldar and their recto blades of destruction. Even in the Great Crusade, Imperial soldiers targeted the men with the recto blades first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Recto blades are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the WH40K system. Here is the stat block I propose for recto blades:

Close Combat Weapon: +1 A, +1 S, ignores all saves.

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of recto blades in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Recto blades need to do more damage in WH40K, see my new stat block.

Here's a good question.

Do the Dark Eldar have a weaponized version of the Prince Albert?

>>4192989
And, soon, every army eventually changes to the single greatest revolution in Modern ground warfare since the combustion engine, or disappears from the universe altogether.

Including the Tyranids.

This mofo has a recto blade in his left hand.

>>4193016
What are you talking about, they have those from birth. Its like circumcision but more "through" than "around"

>>4193028
Fuck, Dark Eldar are fucking broken. They really need to nerf those recto blades.

>>4193028

The Tyranids just evolve spiny king crabs into some kind of vile rape protrusion.

Meanwhile the Necrons upgrade themselves with circular saws. In the pants.

>>4193028

I just wonder what Gannon's up to!

I'm still not quite sure what OP meant, but this thread has turned into fuckwin.

>>4193051
Does the doc use his rectal scalpel to conduct the procedure?

>>4193028
No, soon afterward, the Tyranids start evolving, and the new Gaunt genus known only as the Rectogaunt is unleashed on the unsuspecting universe!

>>4193016
>>4193016Do the Dark Eldar have a weaponized version of the Prince Albert?

Shadow Field generator

>>4193068

So

The eldar puts it in the doc eldar's butt

and then it's like a beartrap and suddenly UPGRADED DEATH PENIS

>>4193039
I move my dark eldar into combat with spess marheens and my buddy says "haw haw CCW don't stand a chance against my powa armors!" and then I'll be like "hey fuckshit those are RECTO BLADES and they will fuck your marines asses so hard they will shit blood" pow rending power weapon recto blades slice through his space marines like cheese.

>>4193087
I have no idea what you just said, but now I'm suddenly afraid of whirling rectal mantrains of death.

>>4193087
You are entirely correct.

>>4193126
I just wonder what Gannon's up to!

>>4193126

I forgot that one of them also might be dressed up like the doc from TF2.

Dark Eldar just got cooler.

I demand recto blades be made /tg/ canon!

man its hard to find any good dark eldar artwork...let alone good pics of recto blades.

So, where do the recto blades come from? When were they first created? How come they're so awesome?How does the Imperium deal with the existence of recto blades?

>>4193197
>How does the Imperium deal with the existence of recto blades?
They don't. Nobody has ever gone up against a recto blade and lived to tell the tale.

>>4193197
To make Recto blades properly, they have to raid Craftworlders for their bread.

It's apparently a vital ingredient to make them.

>>4193202
and if they did live to tell the tale, they won't because they just had a blade up the ass.

>>4193202
So it's like a katana then?

>>4193212
I just wonder what Gannon's up to!

>>4193187
>Blatant request for drawfaggotry
Don't worry, I assure you that somebody in the world's already working on this particular bit. And maybe the man-train of death as well.

>>4193223
see
>>4192090

>>4193197
They're working night and day just to come up with their own version, along with everyone else.

'cept Tau. Tau are naive. they will learn soon enough.

>>4193235
Pulse Rectos?

>>4193253
More likely they would create some close combat oriented battlesuits or Recto Drones or something.

Tyranids evolve RECTO RIPPER SWARMS!

>>4193272
Holy shit! RIPPERS THAT GO UP YOU FUCKING ASS! We're doomed, man! DOOMED!

The Recto Fister triples the model's STR

>>4193327
fucking awesome

>>4193327
HOLY SHIT YOU ARE THE BEST DRAWFAG EVER!

>>4193327

AWESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME

>>4193327
How wrong is it that I am attracted by his firm Dark Eldar buttocks?

>>4193327
Oh hai Lucid

>>4193380

>>4193327
WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN

>>4193327
More like "Have ass you", am I right?

>>4193327
Well, that proves my theory that Dark Eldar shit jagged metal blades.

>>4193436
Now I just have to get some proof that Tau can shit plasma grenades!

nedz mor female dark elvz

>>4193327
a nasty surprise dark eldar use when being raped

Lucid you magnificent bastard.

>>4193491
Which is why there are so few of them, as the Dark Eldar don't know how to have consensual sex.

This thread.

Is Win.

>>4193651
>>4193676
ew yuck do not want

>>4193676
The best thing about etc

Dark Eldar Raaaawk!

The sudden lack of recto blades is disturbing...

>>4193775

WYCHES FUCK YEAH! RECTO BLADES EVERYWHERE!

I called my local store and asked if they had any dark eldar recto blade blisters or boxes. Fuckers didn't even know what I was talking about!

>>4193908
The fuck! GW will hire anyone these days.

Did someone say RECTO BLADES?

>>4193651
>>4193775
I concur

>>4193950
fucking LOL

>>4193950
Win

>>4193950
The face of /tg

>>4193944
The recto blades in the ass must be what keeps them balanced when they wear such fucking big hats.

The next codex better have a whole page of fluff on these recto blades.

With my apologies to the Balinese.

OH GOD WHY DID I GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH THIS?!?!

>>4194138
WHAT THE FUCK MAN? WHAT THE COCKBALLING FUCK?

>>4194138
WHAT THE HORSESHIT IS THAT

>>4194138

>>4194138
FUCK IM GONNA FUCKING PUKE

>>4194060
Oi, nothink aginst bik headz! Only troo armies muster zem!

>>4194138
deer rectum cleaning.jpg

*barf*

>>4194106

FUCK YOU, KRIS KNIVES ARE AWESOME

>>4194138

>>4194188
Oooh, so that's what that picture is.

>>4194209
Yes, but it was the most dark eldar-looking blade I had a suitable picture of. And thus...

>>4194150
>>4194165
>>4194167
>>4194169
so... no one has skinned and gutted game before, I presume. you see , you begin your cut around the anus so as to avoid spilling shit once you get all the skin of, else you'll pull the sphincter open when ripping of the buttocks. besides I'm amazed he dint post the one of the surgery whit the caption "dissection of the rectovaginal fascia" that was on page 5.

>>4194249
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

>>4194249
EWWWWW GRIMDARK DEER CLEANING

>>4194138
AUGHH DO NOT WANT

the deeper this thread goes the more anal we all get with eachother

A lot of people who has been posting here lately have better be vegetarians. It isn't as if deer are the only animals that you need to do such things to before eating..

Guys, please stop, you're scaring me. :(

>>4194351

>>4194351
It's not the fact that you have to do it. I'm fine with that. Still doesn't make carving up a deer's asshole any less disgusting.

>>4194351
fruit?? o god

>>4194150
>>4194165
>>4194167
>>4194169
>>4194188
>>4194218
>>4194258
>>4194271
>>4194306
PEOPLE, WHAT THE FUCK? Have you never hunted or seen anyone else hunt? When you gut game, you've got to do that, else you'll get shit all over everything. Not nice. The same reason you've got to be extra careful when removing the bladder (spilling urine to the game's body cavity has a chance of spoiling the meat).

>>4194398
I aint never hunted before.

>>4194398

You do realize that meat comes from supermarkets, right? Hunting is just for sport.

>>4194422
>hunting is just for penis compensation

>>4194398
1: Hunting is not as common nowadays as you seem to think.
2: see>>4194390

>>4194398
Its easier when they're on a hook, you just gotta make sure not to cut too deep. That said, you're more likely to have the whole slimy mess fall on you. Now *that* is gross.

PEOPLE, WHAT THE FUCK? Have you never played dark eldar or seen anyone play them? When you play dark eldar, you've got to do that, else you'll get shit all over everything. Not nice. The same reason you've got to be extra careful when removing the minis in combat (spilling urine to the game's table cavity has a chance of spoiling the fun).

a recto blade would be a truly fearsome weapon in the hands of someone who had many ranks in escape artist

>>4194443
>>(spilling urine to the game's table cavity has a chance of spoiling the fun)
Not that I've noticed.

bullets are cheaper than meat

>>4194473
thats why i eat bullets

>>4194532

I work at a sporting goods store, and we have these great things

>>4194600
Aw, hell naw!

>>4194600
I'm sure some fag has but that in their ass and tried.

>>4194622
funny typo is funny

pic related.

This deer butt face needs to be punished with a recto blade

>>4194692
people create some horrible things..

I guess this is what happens when GW runs out places to put spiky bits and skulls.

>>4194692
DAT ASS

>>4194692
>>4194702

Y U DO DIS?

>>4194600
What the hell is that for?

>>4194876
You shove it up the deer's ass and twist and pull to rip the pooper out.

rolled 7 = 7

>>4191444
damn dark eldar and their
>rectal blades

How did this thread become so engorged?

this thread is strange

epic /tg thread

Heres one kind of recto blade

>>4195410

here we see a man deploying his dual recto blades

So do rectoblades make them assassassins?

Autosaging? In my /tg/.

Don't hope so.