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  • File :1238908510.png-(41 KB, 600x400, 27.png)
    41 KB Dorf Quest XXXIII Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)01:15 No.4188057  
    ...Garrelf only had the pocket change for a Cure Light Wounds. He is now broke, but Arialla's throat is a little better. She'll have trouble speaking, but she won't die from breathing problems.

    Without their fortune, the two of you are now next to nothing.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:17 No.4188078
    Think about what just happened after Arialla's teleport from your perspective.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:18 No.4188083

    See if we can crash with Aldwin for a bit. He's a nice guy, and we might be able to get some better healing out of Cultist if we do them a favor or two.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:18 No.4188088
    Good riddan- uh, go find Aldwin and formulate a plan to stop Beardbeard.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:19 No.4188090
    maybe we can lounge at the Coat Rack of Satan.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:19 No.4188091
    What happened to their entire elf nation? Whatever the case go to the windmill/ find cultist.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:20 No.4188097

    Also nice fanart in that other thread, Gnome.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:20 No.4188098
    I mean, all because we lost the palace doesn't mean that they aren't still the reigning monarchs of the area, right?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:20 No.4188104
    I like how Aldwin and Cultist are the fall back for every character in this game.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:21 No.4188110

    I'm assuming the ruler is determined among a group of nobles based on wealth. That, or the elven city's treasury is now in the shadow realm and we've been deposed.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:21 No.4188115
    Zombie FinlayxAldwin is my new OTP.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:22 No.4188118

    I agree competely
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:23 No.4188124
    Its going to take more than backstab to kill beardbeard.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:23 No.4188128
    sweet, sweet necrophalic lovin'.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:23 No.4188133
    They need more screentime, no exceptions.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:25 No.4188150
    does Garrelf even know cultist and Aldwin?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)01:25 No.4188152
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    Beardbeard hopped through the portal, and strangled your wife. When you knocked him off, he ripped off your arm and beat you with it. And to top it off, your castle suffered a critical existence failure.

    The city is an oligarchy - the richest family rules.

    Garrelf goes to see if the Coat Rack is habitable.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:25 No.4188155
    How is garelfs wounds by the way? Is he slowly bleeding to death?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:26 No.4188159
    I'm guessing whoever's in charge now won't be happy to see them.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:26 No.4188161

    It's only a model
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:26 No.4188165
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:27 No.4188169
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:28 No.4188173
    Explain to your wife why she should never try to leave a Dorf in an inescapable dimension.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:29 No.4188181
    But Garrelf, you are the richest... in love!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:29 No.4188188
    Elves are more apathetic i imagine. They might even be amused the old ruler in walking around their city in rags.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)01:30 No.4188190
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    He's tougher than that. He'll live.

    Thankfully, its not a model at all!

    "Welcome to the new tree of life, Garrelf! I have sandwiches, would you like one?"
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:30 No.4188191
    But she only loves him for his body, and he's just with her for prestige. Not love.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:30 No.4188194
    Bah. Who cares about Garrelf. It was the queen's fault for provoking this.

    Needs more control of Beardbeard.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:31 No.4188196
    Which makes him the Enron of love.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:31 No.4188197
    Have a sandwitch, along with an explanation. Garrelf doesn't know about what the shit is going on.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:32 No.4188202
    Sure, accept. Not like Satan would ever feed you anything EVIL or anything.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:32 No.4188207

    Garrelf, convert to Satan now.

    Pass Satan's test and eat evil sandwich!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:34 No.4188215
    Any chance Satan could give us some healing or some cash in exchange for the liver we (sort of) gave him?

    Dude owes us. Indirectly.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:34 No.4188217
    Be chummy with Satan and accept the offer of a sandwich.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:34 No.4188220
    Use Satan to communicate peacefully with Beardbeard.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:36 No.4188228
    Tell him that because of him, you've got no kingdom and no politically powerful wife anymore. Tell him he'll pay.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:36 No.4188230
    I bet satan was planning this all along.

    No matter...

    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)01:37 No.4188237
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    >accept sammich, ask to worship him

    Done, and done. Your trial is to eat the sandwich.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:37 No.4188241

    Keikaku doori
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:37 No.4188246
    Eat it, what could possibly go wrong?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:38 No.4188250

    Make an Eat Check, hopefully it has a low DC because I think us missing an arm gives like a -5 penalty. Let me check the splatbook...
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:38 No.4188251
    Don't be a pussy. Eat it.

    Is Arialla his follower by default, since she followed Glittergold too?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:38 No.4188253
    Eat sandwich, obviously. Indecision ain't never got nobody nowhere.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:38 No.4188255
    Your wife does not like this plan.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:39 No.4188258
    Fuck her, then. She's got no power anymore, she's next to useless.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:39 No.4188259



    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:40 No.4188271

    This is going to make him into a half-demon or something isn't it?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)01:40 No.4188272
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    Tuna salad sandwich. Not bad.

    Satan inquires as to the quality of the meal. How do you respond?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:40 No.4188273
    Do not eat sandvitch. It has bologna on it.

    We hate bologna.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:41 No.4188280
    "I'd enjoy it more with 2 hands. Can you help me out?"
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:41 No.4188281
    And he can use that power to get Beardbeard!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:41 No.4188283

    Say you would have preferred pastrami, but it was pretty good actually.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:41 No.4188284
    "Sure, it was okay."
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:41 No.4188286
    Did Garrelf just sell his soul for a sandwich?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:42 No.4188288
    Pretty good Satan.

    Brofist new god.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:42 No.4188289
    Lie, say it tasted awful.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:42 No.4188292
    High five a shark with remaining hand. Then graft shark to arm.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:43 No.4188298

    I'm wondering if Satan is going to allow Garrelf powers to kill his best friend?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)01:43 No.4188300
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    "I'm so glad you liked it, I spent two days on that tuna salad!"

    "First things first, here. This castle was yours in the first place - you can have it back. The money is gone for good, though, but at least you have a home."
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:43 No.4188302
    "Tastes like arillias cunt"
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:44 No.4188303
    Tell him it wasn't half bad. You know, because that's what you said and whatnot.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:44 No.4188308

    Two days to make tuna salad?
    Doesn't he have to, you know, regulate the universe's magic and stuff?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:45 No.4188311
    "Do we have a kingdom, too?"
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:45 No.4188315
    Ask satan what he really wants.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:46 No.4188319
    "Less blabbing, more giving me a working arm. Then I'll set out to kill all of your rivals, in return, you'll let me kill Beardbeard."
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:46 No.4188324
    It was okay, but..
    HEY, SATAN. As your new official first willing convert, I should get something. Like a prize.

    Any chance you can hook me up with your arm like you did Beardbeard? I need one.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:47 No.4188332

    thank him for the castle, ask him if he can assist us in some way with the gold/healing issues (trading services perfectly viable, though ask for the healing side of it in advance)
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:49 No.4188340

    We need to name our castle, like the TOWER OF INFINITE PAIN or something equally Shadra-kai/Unholy Coat Hanger-y
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:50 No.4188350
    I know! It's fruits will still make monsters when planted right? Let's name it the Sunless Citadel!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)01:52 No.4188362
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    >Whatchu want, dog?
    "I want to make a deal. See, now that I'm a god, I can potentially remake all life on this planet however I want to. However, first I have to undo what Glittergold did - starting with this tree of life here. You go out and destroy the other magical leylines for me, and I'll grant you anything you can possibly desire."

    >Arm plox
    "If you sign this contract, an arm will be the LEAST of my gifts."
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:53 No.4188367
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:53 No.4188369
    Read contract.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:53 No.4188370

    Assuming this fruit thing is accurate, Garrelf should grow a shadow-creature army and begin to claim the surrounding regions using them.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:54 No.4188375

    Oh and, if the bitch complains, ditch her. She's useless now.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:54 No.4188378
    Name it "The Shadowdark"
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:54 No.4188380

    What's the fine print?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:54 No.4188383
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:54 No.4188385
    The Badly Lit Citadel then?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:54 No.4188386
    That sounds like a quest perfectly suited for a sociopathic shadow elf with nothing left to lose.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:55 No.4188400
    Ditch the bitch, go forth on your mission.

    Comedy intermission! See what Cultist is doing.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:56 No.4188403

    (You're in for typing gnome!)
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:56 No.4188408
    Do this shit. Garrelf could use some ridiculous divine rewards.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:57 No.4188415
    What? I demand more exposition!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:57 No.4188416
    So what's with this Sunless Citadel thing? The way you react to it, it starts to sound something like Tomb of Horrors.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:57 No.4188421
    How about the DarkBad?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)01:58 No.4188427
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    >Read not-quite-Note
    The signer hereby undergoes Geas to destroy the 7 mystical leylines of the world. In exchange for this geas, any and all aid a one Satan can provide will be given. Up to two weeks of Side Questing may be allowed as vacation time between attempts to destroy the leylines.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:59 No.4188437
    Read fine print.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:59 No.4188442
    Sounds legit. Go for it.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:59 No.4188443
    Check for fine print.

    Then check for ultra-fine print.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)01:59 No.4188444
    Fair enough.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:00 No.4188448
    Sunless Citadel was a 3.0 adventure dealie. You know, the ones in the very thin books. It wasn't so much hard as it was designed to dick you over. Which was especially frustrating because it was for levels 1-3.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:00 No.4188452
    Seems like a standard evil contract. Maybe haggle for more 'break time', and to add a stipulation that the elf wife is not to be harmed. [Should boost her loyalty.]
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:01 No.4188456
    Not sure about those geese in there, but what the heck, Satan seems like an honest fellow, sign it.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:01 No.4188458

    Alrighty, I mean, it's all in the glory of our god and whatnot.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:01 No.4188461

    ask satan for some examples of things he can do now that he is glittergodl
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:01 No.4188463
    Search for fine print, super fine print, ultra fine print, microscopic fine print, print-within-print, and other such things.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:02 No.4188464
    ask your gf what she thinks.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:03 No.4188473
    Why? She can't talk.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:03 No.4188479
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    A geas you say? There's no way that can turn around to bite us in the ass.
    Do it.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:04 No.4188485
    Why should we care?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)02:05 No.4188494
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    That is the fine print. That is the entirety of the contract. Surprisingly short, all things considered.

    Signed on the dotted line. Lacking a pen, you just spit blood on it.

    He agrees not to harm the wifey.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:05 No.4188499
    Maybe by destroying the leylines your destroying yourself and her in the process?
    >> Androgyanon ♫ 04/05/09(Sun)02:06 No.4188502
    What will destroying ley lines do?


    Also, get satan to heal them both FULLY.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:06 No.4188508
    Ask him whether we could hunt down Beardbeard first and make him suffer. Just because.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:06 No.4188510
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:06 No.4188511
    So, does Satan have any pointers towards helping him rewrite reality? Like directions?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:06 No.4188514
    Seven? Are these, like, godly seals or some shit? I mean, what's the likelihood of some elder evil or god killer popping out a the end?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:07 No.4188516

    request a new arm, full restoration of the girlfriend's voice and all other damage to both of you, and some suitably pimp weapon that fits our style. oh and a replacement fortune
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:07 No.4188524
    Ask for better more delivish forms for you and wifey and weapons to boot.

    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:09 No.4188535
    I know goldmoon once she gets a res wont be too happy about this...
    >> Teens are still idiots. 04/05/09(Sun)02:11 No.4188551
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:12 No.4188558
    Explain to Arialla that he is doing this for the elven people, since Glittergold is quite simply Dead it is important to keep in good graces with the new God. Satan is unlikely to simply give up if he wants this done, he will find someone else to do it...like Beardbeard, which will leave the elven race destitue and without magic.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)02:12 No.4188563
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    Control has switched back to Beardbeard.

    Looking at his to do list, he decided to head to Aordor, but it looks like something else beat him to the punch.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:13 No.4188579
    Where is Aordor again?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:15 No.4188588
    the place wiped out by Xom's Arm
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:15 No.4188589

    That's right, didn't Furious George take out the Satan arm?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:15 No.4188590
    Check off defeating Satan's arm.
    >> Totallynotsamefag !!PwrhihocaUN 04/05/09(Sun)02:15 No.4188594
    oh yea didnt furious george handle that? anyways, investigate or something
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:16 No.4188602
    how's Presley's song about the fate of elvish traitors going?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:17 No.4188612
    fuck this. Send Presley to investigate, go drinking.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)02:18 No.4188615
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    Pretty good, he thinks he's really on to something here!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:20 No.4188630
    What's his capability card?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:20 No.4188631
    it is good to see that our new royal bard is so zealful with his new duties. We shall have to see about getting him a kickass uniform or something at some point. Maybe out of dragon scale.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:21 No.4188636
    Maybe Presley isn't that bad after all.

    Lets get investigating the ruins for loot!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:21 No.4188639

    Let's be off to found a kingdom, we can annex these ruins.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:23 No.4188649
    did we ever do anything with that dragon corpse? besides take it's eyes?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:24 No.4188655
    what happened to that fucking elf/human thief guy from like quest 7 or whatever? or is this the dwarf quest that actually has a dwarf? also where the fuck are the dwarves. sage for no dorfs
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:24 No.4188658

    We have its hide, and we should make some armor out of it.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:26 No.4188665
    Apparently you haven't followed this shit very much. That means you don't really care. Which means I won't bother explaining you stuff.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:26 No.4188667
    Also, we need some followers for our kingdom to lord over. We're Chaotic Evil. What do Chaotic Evil people lord over?
    Let's go find some Cutebolds and Goblins and kick their asses until they take orders.

    The goblins can make a garrison inside our fortress, and the cutebolds can make a camp outside it. It's perfect.

    Also, some demons, maybe. I don't know, it's a working plan. FIND MINIONS.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:26 No.4188669
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    I'm sorry, what?
    >> Wats goin on in dis tread? WRYNOMOUS 04/05/09(Sun)02:27 No.4188671
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    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:27 No.4188675
    Cutebolds and Goblins suck. We need humans, evil empires always have oppressed human masses.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:27 No.4188676
    I thought after that whole thing with Mado, we shifted towards Chaotic Neutral.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:28 No.4188682
    Nah, alignments are shit and more of guidelines anyway. All things considered, we're still CE.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)02:30 No.4188695
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    Mmhmm, time to get some servants!

    To the nearest kobold town!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:31 No.4188701
    Remember, NONE-LETHAL VIOLENCE! Each kobold you kill is one servant less.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:32 No.4188718
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:33 No.4188722
    See how many you can deforest in one sweep. This will help establish dominance.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:34 No.4188732

    Satan is our friend...
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:36 No.4188740
    Satan has been faggy lately, reason enough.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:36 No.4188743
    He just gave terrible power to a guy that's become our enemy!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)02:37 No.4188750
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    ...with just your fists, to prevent murder.

    Many kobolds were knocked unconscious this day.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:37 No.4188751

    which we don't know and you can bet your ass if garrelf had turned that down he'd be asking beardbeard next
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:38 No.4188755
    We don't know that, but we do know he has been bitchy to us. So we'll use that as a proper excuse for our metareasoning.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:39 No.4188757

    Now point them in the direction of your fortress and tell them to get to it.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:39 No.4188759
    March straight to their king. Or whoever's in charge. Punch him to the face to establish superiority.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:40 No.4188772
    ah, impressment. How wonderful. Declare leader ship over all remaining kobolds. Also, inform that any problems with this should immediately be sent to the department of HIS FIST.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:43 No.4188794
    Not anymore. Unless we can destroy the leylines faster than garelf...
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)02:43 No.4188797
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    As you herd the kobs to your fort, a single kobold stands up to you.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:44 No.4188804
    Kick him in the balls, grab his spear and run him through.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:45 No.4188808
    oh god

    look at that totally awesome face mask

    we must have this kobold. He shall be the leader of our Kobold milita. Use crystal eye to destroy ground beneath kobold, hopefully making him fall down and hit the floor with enough force to drive him unconscious.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:45 No.4188814
    Tell him for his bravery in standing up to an impossible opponent he is the new chief of the Kobold brigade.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:46 No.4188816

    Make an example of Driblis
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:46 No.4188819
    Point out to the kobolds, if they resist your rule, that you are part kobold yourself.
    ...you have no idea WHERE, but with how blessed by Xom you are, it's a 95% chance you have something koboldy in you.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:46 No.4188820
    Punch him in the face to establish superiority. If he doesn't stop fighting, punch him again and again until he stops.

    He doesn't seem so tough, anyway.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:46 No.4188823
    DRIBLIS (or whatever, the KoboldQuest 'bold)
    >> Totallynotsamefag !!PwrhihocaUN 04/05/09(Sun)02:47 No.4188835
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    hrrmmm a brave one...

    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:48 No.4188837
    Dodge spear/ pole attack. Grab spear/pole.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:48 No.4188842
    after this, we should probably go into town and buy supplies. Beds, wood, etc. We'll need to make new bedrooms for our Kobold minions.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:49 No.4188845
    We can have kobolds do it for us.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:50 No.4188851
    Promote him
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)02:50 No.4188854
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    >Punch in snout to establish superiority; declare this kob leader of the militia.

    Done and done.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:50 No.4188857
    and steal everything not nailed down from the town.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:52 No.4188865
    the kobold town that is
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:52 No.4188866
    Make sure everything is looted and transferred to your fort.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:53 No.4188870
    Pray to Satan, asking what we can do to bless our town in the name of the God of Magic.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:54 No.4188884
    >God of Magic
    I must have missed the memo on this
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:55 No.4188893
    We killed the old God of Magic and passed the domain to Satan.

    Anyway, start invading places. Build an army.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)02:55 No.4188902
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    The kobold town is simply lifted off of the map by the citizens, and set back down inside of your fort.
    >> Totallynotsamefag !!PwrhihocaUN 04/05/09(Sun)02:56 No.4188914
    we live in the sky?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:56 No.4188915
    Kooooooooooooobold Camp Time
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:58 No.4188932
    Have a kobold deliver a friendly postcard to Aldwin's windmill with a picture of you, Presley, Cheska and your kobold minions.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:59 No.4188937
    Ok now we need to [d]esignate any [t]rees in the immediate area and [d]esignate some holes to be [d]ug to serve as temporary shelters as well as for the rock.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:59 No.4188939
    Oh ok, didn't take note of old glitters domains.

    Or at least get them some less shitty weapons.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:59 No.4188944

    Find a Kobold who can care stone and make him work on creating a delicious stone bust in your honor.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)02:59 No.4188946
    The postcard will read: "We will invade your ass soon. Love, Beardbeard."

    Make good of this promise and invade the windmill. Put Aldwin and Cultist to work at mines. Raise Lily as your own and turn her into an emotionless assassin.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:00 No.4188947
    ah, beutiful kobold ingenuity at work. They will make good subject. Inform Presley that as soon as he is done working on his current project, a ballad about the subjugation of the kobolds would be most appropriate.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:01 No.4188955
    I was thinking more of a "Wish you were here, love Beardbeard and friends"
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:02 No.4188960
    But then they CAN be here, when we walk them to our fortress in shackles.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:03 No.4188969
    I still don't think that would be a good idea. What about the remains of the Goldmoon Assassins?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)03:03 No.4188970
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    1 week later...
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:04 No.4188980
    Feh, it's not like they're not going to come after us soon anyway.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:05 No.4188995
    I still don't think it's a very good idea.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:06 No.4189001

    We need to start advertising, get more immigrants and build a powerful kingdom. Also, what's the name of our kingdom?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:06 No.4189006
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:07 No.4189009
    Lets see how our kingdom is going.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:07 No.4189010
    Postcard? More like awesomecard.

    Anyway, set those kobolds to work. Weapons, rooms and so on.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:07 No.4189012
    You just say this because it'd be a really mean thing to do. You're letting your emotions getting over you. Cut it out.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:07 No.4189014

    Print out fliers and send them to all the nearby cities.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:09 No.4189032
    Insert postcard picture, sure it will cost a bit more to print, but a picture like that will probably double the effectiveness of the fliers.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:10 No.4189038
    Fuck no to advertising.
    We advertise, we will get NOBLES.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:11 No.4189045
    I can see this kingdom as being a great multi-cultural metropolis of races devoted to the hatred of elves.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:11 No.4189049

    We are Beardbeard, we will kill the fucking Nobles.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:12 No.4189054
    All nobles will be punched in face to establish superiority. Whiners will die.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:12 No.4189059
    Gnome should sell these as post cards.
    I would totally buy one.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:21 No.4189121
    Hmm... what else to do with the fort... we have some minions, and are getting to work on improving it...
    Be sure to compliment the kobolds on their good behavior. It's one thing to have a legion, it's another thing to have a LOYAL legion.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:23 No.4189133
    Maybe invite Aldwin, Cultist and Lily over to the new fort to check it out? Just because Beardbeard is a bloodthirsty monster doesn't mean he can't invite people over for a party.

    Also, what the hell happened to Kav? Where is she?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:24 No.4189134
    Gnome? Brother Imperator? Are you still with us brother?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:25 No.4189142
    He's working with something epic.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:25 No.4189144
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:26 No.4189151
    Beardbeard COULD order Aldwin to come by, and drag him forcefully if he won't. Meanwhile, Aldwin COULD get rigged cards from his god due to Beardbeard sleeping with his girlfriend. Therefore, Beardbeard will just invite him along, and he will come because it'd be impolite to say no.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)03:26 No.4189154
         File :1238916410.png-(23 KB, 600x396, Fate Blarkablark.png)
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    wfniorenveroir Started an image; computer died.

    You know the fortress BUZZARDLOVED. It has:

    KING: Beardbeard
    GENERAL: none
    BARD: Presley
    Warriors: 25 Kobolds
    Food: 8 kobolds
    Mercantile: none
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:29 No.4189168
    >Food: 8 kobolds
    wait, what? Our people are going to eat each other? Bugger that, let's get some farming all up in this shit. Go into town and start buying seeds, and hire a farmer or three. While you're there, pick up a book keeper. Let's get this shit done and done right.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:29 No.4189172
    No, they're just there to gather food and stuff. Cannibalism is right out unless there's a severe famine.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:30 No.4189180
    Fuuuck. Lead a raid out for food and supplies ASAP.

    Actually go attack something yourself, and when you are done have the kobolds carry the loot back.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:31 No.4189187

    Go to Mountainholmes and recruit for your kingdom, say you are an avatar of Xom.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:32 No.4189192
    Attack something yourself, and have the kobolds get SPARRING and practicing MARCHING.

    Our legions will SUCK if they don't get TO IT
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:32 No.4189197
    woah i was worried there. Should be gatherers then.

    Still we should go raiding for supplies.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:33 No.4189202
    What's the masked kobold named?

    If he has a name, he will be slightly more difficult to kill.

    I vote Caiger, after the once-famous fortress mall in Urban Dead.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:33 No.4189203
    Also, SEX EDUCATION! We need more kobolds, which will be troublesome if they never get past cuddling.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:34 No.4189206

    He is obviously Driblis
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:34 No.4189208
    I'm pretty sure it was Driblis.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:34 No.4189211
    DORF QUEST has evolved into KOBOLD GENERAL
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:34 No.4189212
    Seeing as how Nevada is back up and running I am guessing that means that Aldwin will probably get booted out of commanding the assassin's guild. IF that happens maybe we could recruit him as a record keeper?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:34 No.4189215
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:35 No.4189223

    We need Kav as our General! Where the fuck is she?!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:36 No.4189227
    First we need her to start worshiping Heracles so she can boost her Might and Toughness and maybe get some better weapons.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:37 No.4189231
    Ah man, that sucks.

    ...I, personally, don't have much to add, since I never played Dwarf Fortress. All I can think of is, in the far future... making sure we have a 'fuck the world' lever.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:38 No.4189242

    I think Beardbeard is the physical embodiment of "Fuck the world"
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:40 No.4189265
    What are the benefits of changing religion?
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:41 No.4189268
    Depends on god. Also the old one tends to get pissed off at you.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:43 No.4189287
    It seems to be autosaging right now.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:44 No.4189294
    Been doing that for a while.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:45 No.4189304
    Gnome hatheth problems.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:49 No.4189332
    SDF is banned?

    I guess that means he finally caved in and posted porn.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)03:51 No.4189339
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    Yes I have.

    My computer's internal fan seems to have broken; I now have ice applied to it for cooling. This should fix the problem for now.

    Sorry for the inconvenience; your regularly scheduled Dorf Quest will continue momentarily.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:51 No.4189345

    Yay, maybe start a new thread to continue, this is autosaging.
    >> Totallynotsamefag !!PwrhihocaUN 04/05/09(Sun)03:51 No.4189347

    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:52 No.4189348
    'Sfar as I know, he really didn't. He just got attacked by trolls. One of them posted bestiality and didn't get banned.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)03:59 No.4189385
    uh better just get it fixed.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:09 No.4189426
    ...I feel that Dorfquest might be done for the night. I have a mental image of Gnome, saying things are alright, since he applied some ice to help cool down his PC... followed shortly be it shorting out.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:12 No.4189451
    It actually works fine, so long as you're not a stupid fuck. And since I would like to one day have his children, I don't think Gnome is a stupid fuck.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:12 No.4189452
    And JUST when it turned interesting!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:13 No.4189455
    yes, I to have a mental image of that.

    Someone send for a techpriest.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)04:13 No.4189464
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    I use a laptop. An ice pack wrapped in paper toweling applied to the bottom works nicely, until the ice melts.

    To explain the stats: Food isn't food reserves - its sources of food, like fishers, farmers, and brewers.

    And no new thread; because my compy is going to probably fry in another hour anyway - its going sloooow. Gonna need to get it checked. Sorry guys.

    BEARDBEARD GODSLAYER, Dorfen Berserker
    Current Quest(s): Found Kingdom, Return Home With Garrelf, Destroy Satan Arm.

    ALCOHOLISM: drunk
    GOLD: 19,725

    STATUS: Uninjured

    Vestigial Wings
    No Left Eye
    3rd eye on back
    Webbed Hands
    Three Breath
    Poison Immunity

    Iron Axe
    +8/+10 Two Handed Axe of the Pit
    1 Torch
    Overworld Map
    Hydra Armor
    Stone of Ionus
    Wooden Leg
    Map to Beardbeard's Kingdom
    Golden Sceptre
    Antimagic Bird Cage
    Dragon Hide

    Presley and Cheska
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:15 No.4189474
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    Since we are paused, postan some drawfaggotry
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:16 No.4189479
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    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:16 No.4189480
    Looks like Arialla doesn't mind that Garrelf now worships Satan.

    You have time for some after-quest drawfaggotry, right? Let's have Aldwin's reaction as he reads what the postcard says! >>4188946
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:16 No.4189485
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    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:16 No.4189486
    Stop now, go to bed, continue tommorow after getting it checked.

    It might save you from buying new hardware.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:17 No.4189491
    More Mado and Nevada! And Aldwin and Cultist! The audience demands hot sex!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:17 No.4189493
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    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:18 No.4189498
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    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:18 No.4189505
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    That's all I've done
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:19 No.4189512
    So Gnome, why is Beardbeard so young? Thirty-five is like, pre-pubescent by dorf standards!

    Also Cultist and her mom. Teenagers both when they became parents.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:20 No.4189518


    Go put something that doesn't melt in the freezer for a bit, like cardboard. Makes for a much safer temporary heat sink.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:20 No.4189520
    Ah, I was imagining a PC, and you feeding ice cubes through the floppy drive, or something. And it looks like most of our quests are actually done... though our kingdom is still being built.
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:21 No.4189522
    SAVED! we need more of her!
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:21 No.4189523
    Well notice how most of the older dorfs in the Mountainholm are just going on with their lives? If Beardbeard was older he probably wouldn't have been the berserking pile of destruction he is right now.
    >> Totallynotsamefag !!PwrhihocaUN 04/05/09(Sun)04:21 No.4189525
    he was trying to make a name for his family/prove himself in quest one. so I kinda assume him being young is all part of the story
    >> Anonymous 04/05/09(Sun)04:22 No.4189530

    I really enjoy drawing her, so I probably will make more at some point.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 04/05/09(Sun)05:02 No.4189731
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