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  • File :1238558169.gif-(42 KB, 300x331, Blood in Food.gif)
    42 KB Our Mascot is a Cook Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:56 No.4150125  
    So my party has found a mascot while in town last, a reasonably cheery young woman who it turns out is a good cook. Because she can't fight and can't heal, she has been relegated to the camp Cook, and stays at the camp while the PCs go and beat up goblins and the like.

    Normally that doesn't pose a question, but I find myself having to think up what she's cooking at every meal.
    Just how much detail should be put into a meal in an RPG? Is 'a soup' sufficient, or should it be more, 'a dried jerky bisque, flavoured with wild mushrooms and diced potatoes'?

    Second, my PCs asked that she learn to fight so that they aren't worried about her when they leave her behind at camp. I never really statted her, so I was thinking of making her like an amateur Rogue, with emphasis on sneaking up on people and meat cleavering them in the head. Thoughts?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:04 No.4150204

    Did you include the pic because you want her to be some happy, carefree chick that one day the adventurers return to camp early to find her hacking into a traveller with her cleave while happily singing Ring-a-Ring-a-Rosie or some shit?

    If so then yes. Very yes to the Rogue idea. Either that or summoning something to restrain attackers before she 'removes the bones from the new meat'.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:06 No.4150226

    No, she's cheerfully suicidal.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:07 No.4150232
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:09 No.4150258
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    >meat cleavering them in the head
    Thats my bit you asshole.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:09 No.4150259
    If I were the DM then I'd describe every meal in great detail making it sound as wonderful as possible. I'd try to make the PCs like her a lot, she'd be their favorite NPC and she'd always love just making food for heroes like them not even expecting payment. She'd not actually be good at combat, or magic, or anything like that. The only useful skill of hers is cooking.
    Then I'd have their worst fears realized, I'd have the BBEG capture her demanding something outrageous from them in return for her life. They'd probably go on a quest to try and rescue her or something similar. I'd give them a chance to try to save her but I'd try my best to get her killed by the BBEG, for dramatic effect.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:09 No.4150266

    Huh. I like the restraining idea, but... what would suit her?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:10 No.4150275

    Lern2share, Rorschach
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:10 No.4150277

    Don't you mean handcuffing people to a stove, giving them a hacksaw, and setting the house on fire?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:10 No.4150280
    have her actually be the BBEG

    that's why she's never attacked
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:11 No.4150287
    Just make her a wizard. She's already fragile, at least this way she can sit in the back and cast spells.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:12 No.4150302
    rouge would work, or a magic whatever, with emphasis on spells that can be used for cooking. The next town you go to ask the DM to come up with an item that could be used for her, (maybe make a quest out of it: secure the ancient magical knife that let's her do cool cooking shit)
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:12 No.4150308

    Too powerful. I don't want her being able to accompany the party on an even footing.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:13 No.4150318

    Sharp Knife of the Chef +5
    >> Blacksheepcannibal 04/01/09(Wed)00:15 No.4150337
    Ask yourself this:

    Do you want her to contribute towards combat and take XP away from players? Do the *players* want to have a sizable chunk of XP taken away?

    Do you want to have her as a story device. She is the flavor (pun) for the campaign, something that the players will probably remember most about this campaign. Do you want her to not really contribute in a fight, and if she finds herself in a fight, do you want to leave what happens to her down to chance, or just handwave and make sure what you want for the story happens?

    If the first one: Stat her. If the second one: She's an NPC. She doesn't need stats.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:16 No.4150343
    Give her a powerful artefact of cookery. A knife that becomes a vorpal weapon when the thing that you are fighting tastes delicious.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:18 No.4150357
    As the party sat down, Elsie wandered around, happily handing out plates of food. Timo took off his plate helm and looked down at the plate. A delightful looking steak with wild mushroom sauce, diced tomatoes and wondrous spices which smelled divine. He didn't know where she kept getting meat, but she was always good for it and that was enough for him.

    "You need your strength, wolf it down!" she said with a smile as she closed her eyes contentedly, happy to see everyone enjoying her meal.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:18 No.4150359
    Have them get her a cooking implement that's cursed by accident. She becomes the BBEG, they have to decide what to do etc
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:20 No.4150384
    I was thinking more of a frying pan to the head. she doesn't sound like she could take the stress of someone's brains blasting out over her face when she ambushes someone.

    i'd also have some vague descriptions of the food when the party sees it, but have her have very long-winded explanations if they ask what it is
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:20 No.4150385
    Is she working some blood magic?

    Can you say enthralling anyone who tastes the cake?

    I had a BBEG once that did that shit, used his minions to spread rumors of his awesomeness, until the Local Potentate demanded that he bake for him, leading to his enslavement of the entire continent.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:23 No.4150412

    Go to food network's website and say whatever Emeril's cooking.

    Make her a rogue with Weapon Focus: Hand Axe, Skill Focus(Craft: Meals), (Profession: Chef), (Knowledge: Food). Then finish her off with 10 levels of Exemplar.

    She'll have perfected her cooking skills to such a degree she becomes an angel.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:28 No.4150483

    +5 Keen Bodyfeeding Handaxe of Deadly Precision
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:31 No.4150535
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    Oh God.

    Oh God oh God oh God.

    We left her at the orphanage while we went to fight the Bandit camp
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:35 No.4150573
    Give her Summon Spices and Unspoil Produce/Unspoil/Dairy/Unspoil Meat spells.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:43 No.4150655
    reminds me of a game i used to run where the group's half-mad half-bard, half-warrior take on a squire/abduct a willing child to be his personal playmate/henchman.

    Little Zacharia (about 8, as I recall), didn't have much of anything, especially combat wise, and about 10 hp. he DID, however, have lots of handy talents.

    he could pick a decent lock, hide well, sing and dance, paint, and was a decent little climber and runner. just hid by the horses when the heat was on

    longish story, he wound up being punched in the head out of anger by the party's druid/monk and went down like a sack of potatoes, bleeding out the ears. the NPC priest i gave them flipped out on them, taking him away to heal him while the group burst into in-fighting. that was the second priest they lost too (for moral reasons, and this one was pure neutral on most things; again, another story entirely)
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:47 No.4150706
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    But why have one happy-go-lucky sweet natured cooking girl when you can have two?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:48 No.4150715
    Cue the falling paladins.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:52 No.4150761
    so when does she get raped?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:54 No.4150785


    You find out that the party's cook, a sweet, pretty young girl who embodies purity and happiness, has secretly been feeding you human meat in return for a dark diety blessing you with superhuman power.

    When you ask confront her, she says, "I did it for you! I want the whole world to see just how great you are!"

    What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:56 No.4150806
    Tell her politely to stop.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:56 No.4150808
    Say it tastes good, and that eating the flesh of innocent animals has always offended my delicate moral sensibility.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:56 No.4150816

    I punch her in the gut and show her my turtle
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:58 No.4150833
    Create a whole minor campaign based on the Cooking Master Boy anime.

    >After the death of Mao's mother, Pai, who was called the 'Fairy of Cuisine', Mao becomes a Super Chef in order to take the title as Master Chef of his mother's restaurant. However, before he takes his mother's place as Master Chef, he continues to travel China in order to learn more of the many ways of cooking, in the hopes of becoming a legendary chef, just like his mother. During his journey, he meets great friends and fierce rivals who wish to challenge him in the field of cooking.

    The "powerful" PCs must escort and aid their cook in a series of cooking battles against the evil Cooking Underground, who seek to control people with food instead of "bringing joy". Quest for the legendary cooking items could also be included.
    >> Trap 04/01/09(Wed)00:58 No.4150834
    I tell her that's fine, but don't let anyone else in the party know
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:59 No.4150842
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    But... I - I wanted to... to help...
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:59 No.4150847

    The Underground Cooking Society, also called the Dark Cooking Society, is an organized group which aims to control all of China through the cooking field. Even though they already have a strong influence all over the country, they still search for all eight of the Legendary Cooking Utensils in order to gain absolute power. They do anything to win and exterminate those who get in their way. When they see a great chef who may become a threat to their master plan or if a chef beats one of them, they'll continue to send chefs to challenge that person until they lose. Their training is very strict, and cruel, and most trainees don't survive. To initiate a chef whose survived the training, they would sometimes scar that person's face and/or body. Once you're inducted into the organization, there's no turning back and trying to escape is suicidal. Those who fail a task for the organization meet with a terrible end.

    Members of the Underground are branded with the mark of the organization. They also have powerful skills called the Dark Cooking Techniques, known only by members of the organization or those that they challenge. They are the most feared organization in all of China.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:01 No.4150862
    we had a zero level farmer Ted whose family had been killed by raiders.
    no real skills but owning a rusty pitchfork and a bony nag.
    said horse couldn't even carry any of the parties gear.
    he lasted from us at level one through to level 9.
    then when we were off fighting dudes we came back to camp to find him and the horse dead. I think it was hob-goblins. - and Fred (and the horse) *might* have killed one.
    Well remember Anikan and the sand people?
    - it was before that - but we BURNED those fuckers and made them PAY
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:01 No.4150873

    In ancient times, a meteorite fell from the sky and was first found by Master Chef Shui Lei. Shui crafted eight cooking utensils from the meteorite. Not only were those eight high-class cooking tools, they also had mystical effects on the food they were used on. The eight cooking utensils were so powerful that Master Chef Shui Lei had to store them in eight separate locations of China, so people wouldn't have to fight over them.

    The Legendary Cooking Utensils have immense power, whether they are being used by good or evil. If they are used by good, they can bring about great results that would make people happy. If they are used by evil, they can have destructive powers that could devastate all of China. Also, if a Legendary Cooking Utensil is used on something other than cooking (i.e. killing), its mystical powers would diminish.

    Mentioned Legendary Cooking Utensils:

    Ever-Soul Knife - Stored within the Big Angelic Temple for several generations until Mao became the worthy successor. Not only Mao, but also Leon was found out to be worthy as well. Even though it was stored in a temple for so long, without anyone touching it, there was no sign of rust on the knife when it was brought out. When choosing its successor, the mark of a dragon would appear on the blade when it is held by the chosen chef. It has the ability to make every food it cuts, fresh, even if it has passed its expiration date. Unfortunately, after a failed attempt in stealing it, a member of the Underground, stabbed himself with it causing the knife to lose its abilities. After Mao's final battle against Fei, the knife regained its powers in order to save Fei.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:03 No.4150888

    Seek a possible way to redeem her and find her absolution without destroying her, as her intentions were good even if her actions were despicable, as my GM and I both GM with intentions being more important than deeds in terms of alignment, and I always make sure I create my own codes of conduct to be approved with my GM every time I create a paladin character.

    If, and only if, it's become obvious she cannot be saved, whether due to an unknown true nature or the dark god's hold on her, then she must die. But I, being the moral compass for the party, would take it upon myself to administer the killing blow, and it would not be without great sadness.

    If her inability to be redeemed is due to a loss of soul, then I will challenge the very god of evil himself in order to redeem her, as even one sinner turned back to the path of righteousness is worth my own death a hundred times over.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:03 No.4150889
    Coiled Dragon Pot - The first to be found by Mao and his group after going on their journey to find the Legendary Cooking Utensils. After putting together two pieces of a map, they figured out that it was hidden near the outskirts of Shanghai. Unlike the Ever-Soul Knife, the Coiled Dragon Pot was found in a place with no caretakers or even a temple. It was found inside a secret compartment behind a Kitchen God statue. At first, it seemed to be a rusted pot until Mao touched it. Being the chosen successor, Mao was able to turn it back into its original form. The Coiled Dragon Pot has the power to hasten the fermentation process to an amazing speed.

    Holy Copperware - Found in Jiu Hua Mountains. Originally it was dug up from the farmlands of Jiu Hua many years ago. Not knowing of the mystical powers it possessed, the merchants decided to melt it down so it could turn into spare tools. However, before it could be melted down, a con artist, Shan Yui, bought it from them. Since he saved it from being melted down, the Holy Copperware decided to let him be able to use the mystical powers even though he wasn't a worthy successor. Using its powers, Shan decided to take advantage of the people of Jiu Hua by using the land's legends to make the people believe he was a god. When Mao arrived, he stopped Shan's scheme, made the people believe in their homeland again, and found another Legendary Cooking Utensil. The Holy Copperware has the power to instantly soften dried ingredients, such as dried abalone (which would usually take three or more days to do).
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:08 No.4150938

    She's from the Cooking Underground and slowly conditioning you to serve her in their battle against the Super Chefs.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:09 No.4150951
    This would be cool, as long as she was completely ignorant of what she was doing. The "deity" could be an old man she met whilst the party was off on a mission, and he continues to deliver special meat to her, but promised her to secrecy.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:09 No.4150958

    ask her to stop, then ask where/when she's been getting people meat, then ask which deity. If I've gotten this far perhaps I don't need to eat people meat anymore.

    ... then maybe her recipe if it has been fuck win. YOU NEVER KNOW, SURVIVAL SITUATIONS MAY CALL FOR IT!
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:14 No.4151014
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    Any decent cook can handle herself just fine with an 8" knife.

    Keep her a cook. No BBEG, period. It's been done to death. Let her specialize in foraging for local food, checking poisoned/spoiled goods. Ars Magica has characters like this all the time.

    If you want to get her plot-involved, and Rogue-y, think Stone Soup, or some scheme where her culinary skills gets the party out of a jam (bribes the guard with cookies, Iron Chefs a warlord into retreating from invasion).

    I think it's a great supporting character with a lot of story potential. Try not to kill her.
    >> Adeptus Munitorum Magus O'Grady 04/01/09(Wed)01:15 No.4151026
    I agree with everything except the part about Emeril. he can't cook worth shit. Just make some internet friends in Louisiana and ask us what to cook. Be sure to specify what kinds of animals, plants, and spices are available. Trust me, we know cooking. Look over on /ck/ for ideas too.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:17 No.4151047
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    Sorry, all I could think of.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:18 No.4151066

    Whatever I can forage from the swamp we're in.

    Dwarf has offered to kill something for meat if necessary.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:23 No.4151121

    Gook fail, CHINA IS SUPERIOR.

    Does your movie have people going catatonic from food orgasms?

    Mind-controlling Rice Congee?

    Fucking Dragons and Dark Unicorns flying out of dishes?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:28 No.4151169
    might imply that she's having her own tiny adventures while she's away. have them come back, with her sweating a bit while she cooks. the group finds three kobolds with big lumps on their heads piled up, maybe a wound under her apron she'll try not to bring up unless they notice out of not wanting to inconvenience them
    >> Adeptus Munitorum Magus O'Grady 04/01/09(Wed)01:29 No.4151171
    Swamp terrain? You're going to want Venison (deer have been known to dwell in marshes and near-swamp forests. Lots of good hunting here in southern louisiana). Maybe some snake, but they're kinda stringy. They are best jerked or kebab-ed. but they rarely have enough meat on them to qualify as more than a flavoring additive. You'll also want to look into Gator meat. It can be kinda tough, but properly boiled with the right mix of oregano and cayenne pepper post-boil-spice-rub, then stir-fried, it makes a good additive for stews. Most swamps have good fishing, so a simply pan-fried fish is good. Wild pigs/boars are not out of the question, either. Boiled Crawfish, while wonderful, are too much work to collect enough of them to count as a meal. Vegetable wise you're likely looking at a lot of berries and gourds like pumpkins, as well as large amounts of various pepper species. Cooking style is probably best as stews or pan-fries. Long cooking times at moderate heats.

    You'll want to avoid the rodent species. While nutria, squirrel, raccoon, opposum, and armadillo can provide adequate meat for eating, they frequently carry diseases that are difficult to get out of the meat.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:29 No.4151173
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    I'm sorry, what are the children arguing about?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:32 No.4151206
    I like this...
    but maybe never have them find out.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:36 No.4151239

    God, Louisiana cuisine is so fucking good. I fully support this man's course of action.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:01 No.4151389

    What is a bisque?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:07 No.4151425
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:11 No.4151446
    I had a player play a cook who learned some roguish skills once. She got incinerated by a fireball trap.

    Just have her learn Climb, Jump, Hide and MS and she can run away from bad dudes.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:13 No.4151470
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    This will be the Cook for my party.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:15 No.4151480

    You... have no idea what a bisque is, do you.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:15 No.4151481
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    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:17 No.4151493
    No, I just can't fucking spell
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:18 No.4151502

    Adorable little girl.

    My favourite type of character to take in the GRIMDARK and have somehow not ever reall AFFECTED by it, as if a bubble protects her from the horror. As such, she is carefree and happy most of the time.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:19 No.4151508
    That's fucking gay. Its much cooler if she's affected by the GRIMDARK instead of being a faggy animu loli fantasy of yours.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:23 No.4151533

    Bisque is a soup made from the shells of crustaceans.

    Notable versions are lobster and prawn.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:24 No.4151537
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    Dude? Chill.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:24 No.4151542
    >>Our Mascot is a Cook
    Is this the PG version of "My Sex Slave is a Classmate"?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:25 No.4151548
    Yes, because grimdarking everything just quells the fagotry doesn't it?

    Really, how much of a teen fagot do you have to be whining that everything being grim makes everything else grim.

    beleive it or not, some of us have a really grim veiw of the world, and continue being cheery and fun regardless. Sometimes that is how you cope with everyone else being dickheaded fagots.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:26 No.4151557
    read the graphic novel, that scene was waaay more intense.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:32 No.4151599

    No, that's not how it works at all. Faggot.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:34 No.4151606
    She cooks all the monsters the party captures. Dragon tartare! Roast dire bear! Rhesus macaque biscuits!
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:37 No.4151626

    If the party kept the belief of 'We gain the strength of the enemies we devour', that could actually be pretty fucking awesome right there.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:39 No.4151632
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:43 No.4151653
    She has been feeding the PCs meals prepared of the various travelers she hacks to death. Do this.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:45 No.4151664
    i'm gonna stand very firmly against her turning out to be doing something horrible. it's almost expected. an ordinary person being with the party will be more interesting, complicated, and unexpected
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:48 No.4151678
    This is true, and like >>4150862 shows, you can become much more attached if the person was just an average joe who was in the wrong place at the wrong time

    I'm not saying you should kill said cook, but you'll find your players will become much more attached if she's just a normal cook juxtaposed against a party of seasoned adventurers.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:48 No.4151683

    Delicious! Roasted worg for everyone!
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:53 No.4151705
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    OP's image reminds me of this.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:56 No.4151723
    I agree. Everything you could possibly do to make her evil/tragic has probably been done to death.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:56 No.4151724
    totally. realize that if, say, she's a wizard, they won't worry about her so much. they're actually worried about her, by the OP, which is a great sign of attachment
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:56 No.4151727
    I can never tell if /x/ is being nice or a bitch in this one.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)03:07 No.4151792
    What is the party's average level? Take that subtract some arbitrary number to make her somewhat weak in comparison and she is that level of Expert. Players are level 20? She's level 12. Players are level 10? She's 5. Actual numbers can be changed to suit your needs.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)03:24 No.4151910
    pretty sure she's supposed to be yandere, so nice
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)03:24 No.4151912
    i assume it's a love potion thing
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)03:27 No.4151927
    probably less of a potion and more of a prayer/offering to the dark gods because of the ritualized way she presents it with her being dressed only in ribbon
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)03:33 No.4151969
    inb4 meatbread
    >> Lived 04/01/09(Wed)03:39 No.4152005
    I ask for dessert.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)03:46 No.4152050
    /tg/ doesn't care as long as a girl is paying attention to them.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)03:52 No.4152089
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    Sadly, this.
    >> Lich Loli 04/01/09(Wed)04:20 No.4152284
    Holy shit i was just thinking about this very topic, Lich Loli is currently running a Cafe in Hopelorn.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)04:24 No.4152309
    Really? And how's that working out for her?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)04:30 No.4152336
    Fucking enraged the GM to no end. I took /tg/s advice and had her just drop her dad's phylactery on the ground and planeshift away. He already gave her a invisible wizard mark of the planes ruler that only undead can see so she can just wander anywhere she wants and no one bothers her.

    I spent the entirety of last game session making skill checks like Cooking/infernal lore/dissection when i had to serve up larva brains to a undead mindflayer and a stuff like that. Because enchantments are cheap as hell in Hopelorn she had a wide screen scrying portal installed on the wall, the party is one of the patrons favorite shows.

    The GM and party have no freaking clue what to do now. :)
    >> Lived 04/01/09(Wed)04:32 No.4152348
    .. There's a "Dissection" skill?
    Couldn't you just use Heal in a different way?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)04:33 No.4152357
    It's in the 2ed Necromancers handbook, the book has alot of science type skills.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)04:45 No.4152404
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    go into great detail of how delicious her meals are, mostly meat dishes.
    one time have a PC find a raiders body stripped of good meat beind a tent or something cook just says "oh, sorry i forget to get rid of the corpse"
    *hums to herself and removes corpse*

    i definetly like the idea of raiders coming to a camp expecting it to be empty and all getting picked off one by one by a cook using a cleaver with max stealth stats.
    it could be like the alien movie
    >> Lived 04/01/09(Wed)04:49 No.4152419
    Sure but by forcing players to invest in niche skills they're also lacking in diversity.
    By using a smaller number of skills the Lich Loli could prepare such specialty meals as well as be of assistance in combat and surgery, mundane or exotic.
    Just sayin.
    There's only so many skill points to go around.
    >> Synbios !TUyewbhdRo 04/01/09(Wed)04:50 No.4152423
         File :1238575853.jpg-(214 KB, 980x1400, 6066a456f04e5a0b03c23ca4256392(...).jpg)
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    Perhaps, in her previous career, the cook was actually one of the few adventurers who have had the distinction of bringing the fabled Orb of Zot from the dungeon.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)04:52 No.4152435

    For some reason I imagined her specialising in wonderful sweets with horrid ingredients.

    Blood Parfait.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)04:55 No.4152442
         File :1238576132.jpg-(77 KB, 500x363, Parfait.jpg)
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    Served with a black cherry instead of a red one.
    >> Synbios !TUyewbhdRo 04/01/09(Wed)04:55 No.4152443
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    After all, wearing an amulet of gourmand for so long can change more than just your taste buds...
    >> Lived 04/01/09(Wed)04:57 No.4152450
    Pure evil.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)05:02 No.4152475
    I hear that, especially as she only gets half XP if she isn't carrying her dad around anymore. Dissection is actually a useful skill, it acts as healing for undead. She got it as a Kit skill along with knife specialization, it gives a +1 damage bonus if you are using a knife so it combines to give her a feasible combat ability. Against a Kobold or a smallish Goblin. Maybe.

    Ironically she's up to her eyeballs in mortal adventures right now, she has the only place in Hopelorn where you can get normal food.

    WAFFLES OF THE DAMNED 24/7, she only sells breakfast items..
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)05:04 No.4152486
    Don't try that shit around the party Paladin.....
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)05:04 No.4152488
    she'd have to use the cooking knife as more of a dagger than an axe or she'd have to be a dwarf for the tunnel stalker feat (and have to deal with lesser sneak attack damage)
    >> Lived 04/01/09(Wed)05:08 No.4152504
    Syrup of Souls. Lay it on thick, ma'am.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)05:16 No.4152525
    Is it wrong that I read all this shit about gourmet food made out of people and immediately thought of Taffy?

    Unassuming? Check!
    Cheerful? Check!
    Incredible cook? Check!
    Hidden badass side with a dash of psycho? VERY CHECK
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)05:23 No.4152545
    Seeing as she serves cooked Larva for the sentient undead she is literally serving up the Toasty Souls of the Damned.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)05:23 No.4152546
    Can't she craft weapons?

    Delayed Blast Meatbread could be rather lethal to all things that have arteries left.
    >> Lived 04/01/09(Wed)05:26 No.4152556
    It would be like playing an Artificer but with food-themed fluff.
    Not difficult to work in at all.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)06:17 No.4152698
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    Daddy died when I was little. He was just a woodsman who lived outside the town. I don't remember him.

    My mum was the cook for a roadside inn on the side of a mountain. When it was Summer, we would cook sweet pumpkin pies which the travellers could smell miles away. In Winter, hearty beef casseroles that warmed even the coldest of patrons. In Springtime, we would go out in the field and gather wildberries for jam.

    When I was nine, mum fell sick and died. I still cooked for a little while, but bandits took over the inn a few days after my tenth birthday and I ran away.

    I don't know how long I've been in the woods. Every now and then I sneak back and steal supplies from the bandits, some flour or sugar or a new ladle, and I cook a pie or a soup in my cave, just like mum and I used to. It's nice not feeling lonely for a little while, but I have to cook more and more so I don't feel alone these days.

    I wish I had someone to cook with, someone who had a real pot and good meat. Then we could be happy, and we could travel far away from the cave and the bandits.

    I hope every night before I go to sleep that a nice person will find me...
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)06:28 No.4152722

    Damnit anon, I just want to hold her and tell her we can cook a delicious cake together.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)06:31 No.4152735
    Do as in your OP pic. Have the party come back early from a fight, finding the cook pouring her own blood into the meal she is making.

    Figure out for yourself if you want it to be a "lol I've been giving you super aids and screwing you over" moment or somehow a good one with her blood giving the food some healing effect or whatever good but not overpowered effect you might think of.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)06:32 No.4152740
    >If you want to get her plot-involved, and Rogue-y, think Stone Soup, or some scheme where her culinary skills gets the party out of a jam (bribes the guard with cookies, Iron Chefs a warlord into retreating from invasion).

    I am now working an Iron Chef tournament into my next campaign complete with Chairman Kaga.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)06:34 No.4152750

    Yeah, but you have to have him talk in his own language and have someone translate for him, despite the fact he can understand the PCs just fine. He insists that they talk to him and not the interpreter.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)06:43 No.4152781
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    I hate you, Anon. I hate you with all my being.



    Ha- *sniff*

    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)06:45 No.4152786
    A bisque is generally any thick, creamy seafood or veggie soup these days. And I'm not sure what you mean with the crustacean shells. Crustaceans, yes, most often pureed, but shells?

    On a side note, it's great fun for a cook-fa/tg/uy like myself to find a thread like this.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)06:50 No.4152806
    Bang a gong, we are ON.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)07:04 No.4152864

    This picture confuses and frightens me. Why is she so happy? Why is she doing it in the first place?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)07:05 No.4152871
    I know it's a cliché... but she can always be the BBEG orchestrating things from the shadows.

    That or an assassin that secretly follows the party, 'disposing' of threats to them, aiding them... dragon meat tastes an awful lot like chicken you know
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)07:06 No.4152877
    i for one like the ideas that have been thrown around here.
    especially the whole "cultist chef" thing. the idea of the party chef secretly using human meat in the cooking and offering up prayers and meat to some dark entity to benefit/help the others sounds very lovecraftian and somehow pleasing to me.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)07:08 No.4152882
    sweets for her boyfriend?
    and perhaps some twisted idea of getting her boyfriend to only have "a taste" for her.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)07:10 No.4152888
    Her, blood, sweat and tears went into those brownies. How can you not appreciate that effort?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)07:10 No.4152889

    Huh. My girlfriend's birthday is next week. We've only been going out for three weeks, but perhaps that's the way to go.

    A cake with a 'personal' touch.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)07:25 No.4152905
    sure, do it.

    but for the love of all that is unholy, dont tell her afterwards.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)07:27 No.4152912

    What? Why not? This shit's serious devotion, right?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)07:29 No.4152920
    sure, but not everyone might see it that way.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)07:30 No.4152924
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    Fuck no.

    If you have a NPC that your players like - it is ALWAYS expected that:
    1. He/She will die horribly. "FOR DRAMA!" cackles DM satisfied of the "depth"of his campaign.
    2. Will be abducted. Often connected to point number 1.
    3. Be BBEG/Spy or just Evil in general

    See also:
    -close family
    -love interest
    -close friends

    Originality, yo. Making her "normal" person, not "I TEAR OUT HER LIVER" subject would be quite refreshing.

    Or that cooking tournament idea, it's awesome.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)07:52 No.4152970
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    You live alone in a cave, lol.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)07:55 No.4152979
    The reason a lot of DMs do that is because it is awesome. Fuck your originality, its not about being a pretentious cunt its about having fun.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)07:56 No.4152982
         File :1238586979.jpg-(15 KB, 350x260, cave_swami.jpg)
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    You got a problem with that, yellow bitch?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)08:02 No.4153006
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    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)08:04 No.4153013
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    Go buy a house like a normal person.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)08:05 No.4153018
    >Evil in general
    no such thing
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)08:06 No.4153021
    It's not awesome. It's trite. It's done to death. Every NPC either betrays you, gets kidnapped, or dies. Having someone stay loyal, alive, free, and un-raped is positively rare.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)08:06 No.4153025
    It stops being awesome after first 5 times.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)08:07 No.4153030
    Its fucking boring, the only reason you say that is because you want to be a unique snowflake trying to be different to what everybody else is doing. They're doing it because it works well.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)08:11 No.4153052
    And once again an awesome thread falls to Skub.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)08:14 No.4153066
    I think the point he's making is that experienced players will expect it those three things. It's possibly to throw up a plot hook for an NPC which doesn't involve kidnapping, death or them betraying you. Having them sit around with everything being fine is, as you say, boring, but there's other paths to treat for a GM then the old, reliable and predictable. Have something happen to a person/place the NPC knows, see if the PCs want to help them out. Have them involve themselves in the NPC's life rather than just the NPC themself.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)08:15 No.4153068
    oh why must all the good ones die so young.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)08:18 No.4153086
    >Implies that there are no young evil ones that have died young.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)08:22 No.4153098
    Its only a surprise if every NPC isn't like that.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)08:24 No.4153104
    >Implies that moral goodness has anything to do with "oh-wow-this-is/tastes/whatever-awesome" goodness.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)08:28 No.4153127
    >Implies that...bah, who am I kidding? Go have fun, then. I'm outta here.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)08:35 No.4153159
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    An awesome cook who occasionally turns psycho?

    Yes please.
    >> Adeptus Munitorum Magus O'Grady 04/01/09(Wed)08:46 No.4153223
    Complete Arcane: Blood Magus prestige class: Level 4: Blood Draught. Can use own blood to brew potions. Add in some Book of Vile Darkness style 'blood empowers magic' rules. She's been feeding your players potions of heroism this whole time, mixing her own blood into the pudding.

    And while she, personally, might stay with the party and never betray them, maybe she has an ulterior motive to travelling with them. Maybe she needs her share of the treasure to bribe an evil magistrate to release her father from wrongful imprisonment. MAybe she's a minor (adept-level) spellcaster who doesn't have what it takes to be a front-line adventurer, but still wants to expand her power after her master cast her out in a fit of insanity. Think about her backstory and motivations.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)08:55 No.4153265
    before you say such.

    Can't sleep, Michiru will get me.
    Can't sleep, Michiru will get me.
    Can't sleep, Michiru will get me.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)09:02 No.4153301
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    Gave up on waiting for you to sleep, I'll see you in twenty minutes.

    Nighty niiiiiiiight.... Johnyyyyyyyy.....
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)09:30 No.4153403
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)09:53 No.4153488
    One unfortunate day, she will run out of ingredients. Not wanting to disappoint her tired and hungry friends who had taken such good care of her, she decides to perform the ultimate sacrifice.

    The PCs come back to the camp, and dinner is served. They notice an Unseen Servant cleaning up the pans and kitchen utensils. As they start their dinner, they notice...that their mascot cook hasn't appeared yet.

    One of the PCs gets something whispered in their ear by the DM and their character screams. They found an eye in their soup, one of the Unseen Servants got clumsy with serving the meal.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)09:55 No.4153495
    ...why can't they go the fun classical route of her being like the second coming of a Goddess or something? But none of that 'She Forgot' shit. That's bogus. Like the end of Dallas.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)10:09 No.4153564
    Bump for cute women chefs.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)10:42 No.4153730
    i love this thread.
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 04/01/09(Wed)10:50 No.4153764

    Next time don't use Winston's old recipe books.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)10:55 No.4153786
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    Have her be one of the characters from this.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)10:58 No.4153807
    Oh god I remember that
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)11:08 No.4153867
    Make her an Expert with Profession(cook), Shield Proficiency, if you wish add a few ranks of rogue but only for the EVADE, ditch any weapon proficiency, shield is the only thing useful for her .

    Add "Dae Jang Geum" and "Ratatouille" traits to the character, food is not just food, food is an experience for god's sake you can do art with just some salt and water.
    >> http://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/Princess Maker 2/ Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)11:19 No.4153924
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    One might consider the tale of Lizze Shin-Kicker, who stormed the Gates of Heaven when she was just a little girl and SLEW THE GOD OF WAR to learn the secrets of cooking.

    KING: No... you can't do this!
    LIZZIE: Why, Your Majesty... are you afraid?
    KING: Only a fool would say no!
    LIZZIE:You will eat it. I can make you.
    KING: No... NooooooooAWMPH! Ohpf... deaah gawwd. Itsh*gulp* delicious. There's... there's no more, is there?
    LIZZIE: No, there is not.
    KING: General! Strike me down, then have every last man, woman and child put to the sword. There's no point going on anymore, not now that it's all gone...
    GENERAL: At once, sire.
    LIZZIE: Mwahahhahahahahahahahaaaaaaa!
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)11:21 No.4153931
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    Also, here is the mechanical outcome of the cooking competition.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)11:21 No.4153936
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    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)11:23 No.4153954
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)11:24 No.4153956


    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)11:29 No.4153984
    I'm afraid I don't have it.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)11:32 No.4153994
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    >...but, dear reader, you might wonder... what did Lizzie do that day, to be etched forever into the hearts and minds of those present at the Royal Ball? One can only guess, dear reader.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)11:35 No.4154015
    seriously, source
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)11:37 No.4154027
    I don't understand your request.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)11:38 No.4154035

    http://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/Princess Maker 2/

    Was the title of >>4153924
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)11:41 No.4154047
    If its a dish that seems fairly normal, don't go into great detail unless one of the PCs asks. If it looks new, probably have the cook give a quick spiel about a new recipe they decided to try out.

    Statting her would completely depend on the situation. If you don't plan on ever killing her off, obviously don't worry about it. If you decide you want the occasional thing to happen -just- as your group returns from a dungeon, then by all means do so.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)11:44 No.4154068
    Wait a tic... Pumpkins don't grow in the summer! What the hell are you trying to pull? A trap, I say! Don't fall for her dewy eyes and *sniff* Is... is that bread pudding I smell? Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to stay for a bi
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)13:13 No.4154556
    Anyone have this picture without the writing on it?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)13:19 No.4154597

    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)14:47 No.4155182

    This is unbearly awesome.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)15:31 No.4155463
    what is this from?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)15:36 No.4155484

    I've always wanted a party cook who was a bit off, like some half orc nutter who's annoyingly good at clubbing things over the head but doesn't fight. Also the cook likes to make meals out of things we kill....
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)15:37 No.4155487
    >some half orc nutter who's annoyingly good at clubbing things over the head but doesn't fight
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)16:41 No.4155925
    Bumpan for awesome.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)16:52 No.4156017
    oh god why do I find the OP picture so adorable
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)17:04 No.4156110
    I've heard stories like that back when the Wizards Boards were 3.5. Goblin Wereskunk would save just enough of his teammates to revive when they died, then cook the rest.

    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)17:10 No.4156142

    I just had a thought. If she uses certain meats in her meals... Shouldn't she know the heal skill by proxy? You can't spend time near a body and not learn the heal skill. So she can also act as the party healer in a sense.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)17:11 No.4156150
    "I brought you this stew to help you get better."

    "Hey, this tastes great! What kind of meat is this?"

    "Your kidneys."

    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)17:13 No.4156160
    I know plenty of guys and girls that can cut a mean tenderloin, but wouldn't know how to stop bleeding if their life depended on it.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)17:14 No.4156165
    Rape her
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)17:15 No.4156171
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)17:17 No.4156185
    Wassamatter, too CHAOTIC NEUTRAL for you?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)17:18 No.4156196
    That's an easy way to make a quest hook.

    "Hey guys, the king's servants asked me to cook for him next week!"
    "[cha-CHING!] That's great! You'll be famous pretty soon."
    "I'll need your help to get some ingredients for it, though."
    "...like what?"
    "Oh, nothing much. Eggs, flour, spices... [mumble] dragon meat."
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)17:19 No.4156199
    What the fuck is wrong with you /tg/ that every time theres an NPC the PCs like you just HAVE to kill her or turn her into a villain?
    I mean, sadistic bastards aside its so fucking cliche.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)17:19 No.4156204
    ... wat
    Rape... Rape isn't chaotic neutral! It's... You...
    ... Fuck.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)17:20 No.4156207
    I am both disturbed and intrigued.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)17:23 No.4156229

    True.. but then again this is a rouge that uses slain enemies in her cooking. If you had to clean every single human you cooked I bet you would know something about the inside of the body. But if you were handed a already cut piece of meat you might only know how to cook.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)17:26 No.4156254

    >Wassamatter, too CHAOTIC STUPID for you?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)17:36 No.4156326

    Well, you would certainly know how to fuck up a human body. Knowing how to stop bleeding and prevent infection? Those would be a little outside your purview.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)17:43 No.4156368
    knowing how to carve up a good flank steak != bandaging a wound or splinting a bone. She might know the inside of the body pretty well, where all the organs go, which might give her a nice jumping off point for becoming a surgeon, but that's not really what a field medic does.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)18:30 No.4156698

    Sounds to me like a Synergy bonus. 5+ ranks in profession (cook) [profession (butcher)?] gains you a +2 to Heal checks, agreed?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)21:59 No.4158420

    I can go with that
    >> Anonymous 04/02/09(Thu)00:05 No.4159460
    >> Anonymous 04/02/09(Thu)00:07 No.4159484
    Already done.

    On another note, sure is a zombie thread.
    >> Anonymous 04/02/09(Thu)00:11 No.4159531
    I just don't see it, it's too far stretched. Maybe just for butcher, but that should be a separate profession from cook.
    >> Anonymous 04/02/09(Thu)00:15 No.4159568

    Don't do it, she'll use you in th
    >> Anonymous 04/02/09(Thu)00:17 No.4159576

    Well obviously she needs Cooking, Butchery AND (whatever the skill is to know what berries are poisonous).
    >> Anonymous 04/02/09(Thu)00:20 No.4159604
    >> Anonymous 04/02/09(Thu)00:32 No.4159707

    I guess. And is there a Gathering skill?
    >> Anonymous 04/02/09(Thu)00:42 No.4159771
    gathering food from the wilderness is covered under survival
    >> Anonymous 04/02/09(Thu)00:48 No.4159806
    >> Anonymous 04/02/09(Thu)01:25 No.4160015
    What about Summoning, as in >>4150204?

    If she did that, what would be suitable to shoot forward and restrain her victims?
    >> Anonymous 04/02/09(Thu)01:30 No.4160060
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    >> Anonymous 04/02/09(Thu)01:38 No.4160119
    heh, wizard spellbook that alternates between the preferred way to prepare a bisque and an eldritch spell to hold down enemies while you flay the meat from their bones.

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