>>4150125

Did you include the pic because you want her to be some happy, carefree chick that one day the adventurers return to camp early to find her hacking into a traveller with her cleave while happily singing Ring-a-Ring-a-Rosie or some shit?

If so then yes. Very yes to the Rogue idea. Either that or summoning something to restrain attackers before she 'removes the bones from the new meat'.

>>4150204

No, she's cheerfully suicidal.

>>4150204
THIS^3

>>4150125
>meat cleavering them in the head
Thats my bit you asshole.

If I were the DM then I'd describe every meal in great detail making it sound as wonderful as possible. I'd try to make the PCs like her a lot, she'd be their favorite NPC and she'd always love just making food for heroes like them not even expecting payment. She'd not actually be good at combat, or magic, or anything like that. The only useful skill of hers is cooking.
Then I'd have their worst fears realized, I'd have the BBEG capture her demanding something outrageous from them in return for her life. They'd probably go on a quest to try and rescue her or something similar. I'd give them a chance to try to save her but I'd try my best to get her killed by the BBEG, for dramatic effect.

>>4150204

Huh. I like the restraining idea, but... what would suit her?

>>4150258

Lern2share, Rorschach

>>4150258

Don't you mean handcuffing people to a stove, giving them a hacksaw, and setting the house on fire?

have her actually be the BBEG

that's why she's never attacked

Just make her a wizard. She's already fragile, at least this way she can sit in the back and cast spells.

rouge would work, or a magic whatever, with emphasis on spells that can be used for cooking. The next town you go to ask the DM to come up with an item that could be used for her, (maybe make a quest out of it: secure the ancient magical knife that let's her do cool cooking shit)

>>4150287

Too powerful. I don't want her being able to accompany the party on an even footing.

>>4150302

Sharp Knife of the Chef +5

Ask yourself this:

Do you want her to contribute towards combat and take XP away from players? Do the *players* want to have a sizable chunk of XP taken away?

Do you want to have her as a story device. She is the flavor (pun) for the campaign, something that the players will probably remember most about this campaign. Do you want her to not really contribute in a fight, and if she finds herself in a fight, do you want to leave what happens to her down to chance, or just handwave and make sure what you want for the story happens?

If the first one: Stat her. If the second one: She's an NPC. She doesn't need stats.

Give her a powerful artefact of cookery. A knife that becomes a vorpal weapon when the thing that you are fighting tastes delicious.

As the party sat down, Elsie wandered around, happily handing out plates of food. Timo took off his plate helm and looked down at the plate. A delightful looking steak with wild mushroom sauce, diced tomatoes and wondrous spices which smelled divine. He didn't know where she kept getting meat, but she was always good for it and that was enough for him.

"You need your strength, wolf it down!" she said with a smile as she closed her eyes contentedly, happy to see everyone enjoying her meal.

Have them get her a cooking implement that's cursed by accident. She becomes the BBEG, they have to decide what to do etc

>>4150125
I was thinking more of a frying pan to the head. she doesn't sound like she could take the stress of someone's brains blasting out over her face when she ambushes someone.

i'd also have some vague descriptions of the food when the party sees it, but have her have very long-winded explanations if they ask what it is

>>4150125
Is she working some blood magic?

Can you say enthralling anyone who tastes the cake?

I had a BBEG once that did that shit, used his minions to spread rumors of his awesomeness, until the Local Potentate demanded that he bake for him, leading to his enslavement of the entire continent.

>>4150125

Go to food network's website and say whatever Emeril's cooking.

Make her a rogue with Weapon Focus: Hand Axe, Skill Focus(Craft: Meals), (Profession: Chef), (Knowledge: Food). Then finish her off with 10 levels of Exemplar.

She'll have perfected her cooking skills to such a degree she becomes an angel.

>>4150318

+5 Keen Bodyfeeding Handaxe of Deadly Precision

>>4150357

Oh God.

Oh God oh God oh God.

We left her at the orphanage while we went to fight the Bandit camp

Give her Summon Spices and Unspoil Produce/Unspoil/Dairy/Unspoil Meat spells.

reminds me of a game i used to run where the group's half-mad half-bard, half-warrior take on a squire/abduct a willing child to be his personal playmate/henchman.

Little Zacharia (about 8, as I recall), didn't have much of anything, especially combat wise, and about 10 hp. he DID, however, have lots of handy talents.

he could pick a decent lock, hide well, sing and dance, paint, and was a decent little climber and runner. just hid by the horses when the heat was on

longish story, he wound up being punched in the head out of anger by the party's druid/monk and went down like a sack of potatoes, bleeding out the ears. the NPC priest i gave them flipped out on them, taking him away to heal him while the group burst into in-fighting. that was the second priest they lost too (for moral reasons, and this one was pure neutral on most things; again, another story entirely)

But why have one happy-go-lucky sweet natured cooking girl when you can have two?

>>4150535
Cue the falling paladins.

so when does she get raped?

>>4150535
>>4150715

HYPOTHETICAL:

You find out that the party's cook, a sweet, pretty young girl who embodies purity and happiness, has secretly been feeding you human meat in return for a dark diety blessing you with superhuman power.

When you ask confront her, she says, "I did it for you! I want the whole world to see just how great you are!"

What do you do?

>>4150785
Tell her politely to stop.

>>4150785
Say it tastes good, and that eating the flesh of innocent animals has always offended my delicate moral sensibility.

>>4150785

I punch her in the gut and show her my turtle

Create a whole minor campaign based on the Cooking Master Boy anime.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ch%C5%ABka_Ichiban

>After the death of Mao's mother, Pai, who was called the 'Fairy of Cuisine', Mao becomes a Super Chef in order to take the title as Master Chef of his mother's restaurant. However, before he takes his mother's place as Master Chef, he continues to travel China in order to learn more of the many ways of cooking, in the hopes of becoming a legendary chef, just like his mother. During his journey, he meets great friends and fierce rivals who wish to challenge him in the field of cooking.

The "powerful" PCs must escort and aid their cook in a series of cooking battles against the evil Cooking Underground, who seek to control people with food instead of "bringing joy". Quest for the legendary cooking items could also be included.

>>4150785
I tell her that's fine, but don't let anyone else in the party know

>>4150806

But... I - I wanted to... to help...

>>4150833

The Underground Cooking Society, also called the Dark Cooking Society, is an organized group which aims to control all of China through the cooking field. Even though they already have a strong influence all over the country, they still search for all eight of the Legendary Cooking Utensils in order to gain absolute power. They do anything to win and exterminate those who get in their way. When they see a great chef who may become a threat to their master plan or if a chef beats one of them, they'll continue to send chefs to challenge that person until they lose. Their training is very strict, and cruel, and most trainees don't survive. To initiate a chef whose survived the training, they would sometimes scar that person's face and/or body. Once you're inducted into the organization, there's no turning back and trying to escape is suicidal. Those who fail a task for the organization meet with a terrible end.

Members of the Underground are branded with the mark of the organization. They also have powerful skills called the Dark Cooking Techniques, known only by members of the organization or those that they challenge. They are the most feared organization in all of China.

we had a zero level farmer Ted whose family had been killed by raiders.
no real skills but owning a rusty pitchfork and a bony nag.
said horse couldn't even carry any of the parties gear.
he lasted from us at level one through to level 9.
then when we were off fighting dudes we came back to camp to find him and the horse dead. I think it was hob-goblins. - and Fred (and the horse) *might* have killed one.
Well remember Anikan and the sand people?
- it was before that - but we BURNED those fuckers and made them PAY

>>4150847

In ancient times, a meteorite fell from the sky and was first found by Master Chef Shui Lei. Shui crafted eight cooking utensils from the meteorite. Not only were those eight high-class cooking tools, they also had mystical effects on the food they were used on. The eight cooking utensils were so powerful that Master Chef Shui Lei had to store them in eight separate locations of China, so people wouldn't have to fight over them.

The Legendary Cooking Utensils have immense power, whether they are being used by good or evil. If they are used by good, they can bring about great results that would make people happy. If they are used by evil, they can have destructive powers that could devastate all of China. Also, if a Legendary Cooking Utensil is used on something other than cooking (i.e. killing), its mystical powers would diminish.

Mentioned Legendary Cooking Utensils:

Ever-Soul Knife - Stored within the Big Angelic Temple for several generations until Mao became the worthy successor. Not only Mao, but also Leon was found out to be worthy as well. Even though it was stored in a temple for so long, without anyone touching it, there was no sign of rust on the knife when it was brought out. When choosing its successor, the mark of a dragon would appear on the blade when it is held by the chosen chef. It has the ability to make every food it cuts, fresh, even if it has passed its expiration date. Unfortunately, after a failed attempt in stealing it, a member of the Underground, stabbed himself with it causing the knife to lose its abilities. After Mao's final battle against Fei, the knife regained its powers in order to save Fei.

>>4150785

Seek a possible way to redeem her and find her absolution without destroying her, as her intentions were good even if her actions were despicable, as my GM and I both GM with intentions being more important than deeds in terms of alignment, and I always make sure I create my own codes of conduct to be approved with my GM every time I create a paladin character.

If, and only if, it's become obvious she cannot be saved, whether due to an unknown true nature or the dark god's hold on her, then she must die. But I, being the moral compass for the party, would take it upon myself to administer the killing blow, and it would not be without great sadness.

If her inability to be redeemed is due to a loss of soul, then I will challenge the very god of evil himself in order to redeem her, as even one sinner turned back to the path of righteousness is worth my own death a hundred times over.

Coiled Dragon Pot - The first to be found by Mao and his group after going on their journey to find the Legendary Cooking Utensils. After putting together two pieces of a map, they figured out that it was hidden near the outskirts of Shanghai. Unlike the Ever-Soul Knife, the Coiled Dragon Pot was found in a place with no caretakers or even a temple. It was found inside a secret compartment behind a Kitchen God statue. At first, it seemed to be a rusted pot until Mao touched it. Being the chosen successor, Mao was able to turn it back into its original form. The Coiled Dragon Pot has the power to hasten the fermentation process to an amazing speed.

Holy Copperware - Found in Jiu Hua Mountains. Originally it was dug up from the farmlands of Jiu Hua many years ago. Not knowing of the mystical powers it possessed, the merchants decided to melt it down so it could turn into spare tools. However, before it could be melted down, a con artist, Shan Yui, bought it from them. Since he saved it from being melted down, the Holy Copperware decided to let him be able to use the mystical powers even though he wasn't a worthy successor. Using its powers, Shan decided to take advantage of the people of Jiu Hua by using the land's legends to make the people believe he was a god. When Mao arrived, he stopped Shan's scheme, made the people believe in their homeland again, and found another Legendary Cooking Utensil. The Holy Copperware has the power to instantly soften dried ingredients, such as dried abalone (which would usually take three or more days to do).

>>4150785

She's from the Cooking Underground and slowly conditioning you to serve her in their battle against the Super Chefs.

>>4150785
This would be cool, as long as she was completely ignorant of what she was doing. The "deity" could be an old man she met whilst the party was off on a mission, and he continues to deliver special meat to her, but promised her to secrecy.

>>4150785

ask her to stop, then ask where/when she's been getting people meat, then ask which deity. If I've gotten this far perhaps I don't need to eat people meat anymore.

... then maybe her recipe if it has been fuck win. YOU NEVER KNOW, SURVIVAL SITUATIONS MAY CALL FOR IT!

Any decent cook can handle herself just fine with an 8" knife.

Keep her a cook. No BBEG, period. It's been done to death. Let her specialize in foraging for local food, checking poisoned/spoiled goods. Ars Magica has characters like this all the time.

If you want to get her plot-involved, and Rogue-y, think Stone Soup, or some scheme where her culinary skills gets the party out of a jam (bribes the guard with cookies, Iron Chefs a warlord into retreating from invasion).

I think it's a great supporting character with a lot of story potential. Try not to kill her.

>>4150412
I agree with everything except the part about Emeril. he can't cook worth shit. Just make some internet friends in Louisiana and ask us what to cook. Be sure to specify what kinds of animals, plants, and spices are available. Trust me, we know cooking. Look over on /ck/ for ideas too.

>>4150833
>>4150847
>>4150873
>>4150889
>>4150938

Sorry, all I could think of.

>>4151026

Whatever I can forage from the swamp we're in.

Dwarf has offered to kill something for meat if necessary.

>>4151047

Gook fail, CHINA IS SUPERIOR.

Does your movie have people going catatonic from food orgasms?

Mind-controlling Rice Congee?

Fucking Dragons and Dark Unicorns flying out of dishes?

might imply that she's having her own tiny adventures while she's away. have them come back, with her sweating a bit while she cooks. the group finds three kobolds with big lumps on their heads piled up, maybe a wound under her apron she'll try not to bring up unless they notice out of not wanting to inconvenience them

>>4151066
Swamp terrain? You're going to want Venison (deer have been known to dwell in marshes and near-swamp forests. Lots of good hunting here in southern louisiana). Maybe some snake, but they're kinda stringy. They are best jerked or kebab-ed. but they rarely have enough meat on them to qualify as more than a flavoring additive. You'll also want to look into Gator meat. It can be kinda tough, but properly boiled with the right mix of oregano and cayenne pepper post-boil-spice-rub, then stir-fried, it makes a good additive for stews. Most swamps have good fishing, so a simply pan-fried fish is good. Wild pigs/boars are not out of the question, either. Boiled Crawfish, while wonderful, are too much work to collect enough of them to count as a meal. Vegetable wise you're likely looking at a lot of berries and gourds like pumpkins, as well as large amounts of various pepper species. Cooking style is probably best as stews or pan-fries. Long cooking times at moderate heats.

You'll want to avoid the rodent species. While nutria, squirrel, raccoon, opposum, and armadillo can provide adequate meat for eating, they frequently carry diseases that are difficult to get out of the meat.

>>4151047
>>4151121
I'm sorry, what are the children arguing about?

>>4151169
I like this...
but maybe never have them find out.

>>4151171

God, Louisiana cuisine is so fucking good. I fully support this man's course of action.

>>4150125

What is a bisque?

>>4151389
DELICOUS

I had a player play a cook who learned some roguish skills once. She got incinerated by a fireball trap.

Just have her learn Climb, Jump, Hide and MS and she can run away from bad dudes.

This will be the Cook for my party.

>>4151425

You... have no idea what a bisque is, do you.

>>4151480
No, I just can't fucking spell

>>4151470

Adorable little girl.

My favourite type of character to take in the GRIMDARK and have somehow not ever reall AFFECTED by it, as if a bubble protects her from the horror. As such, she is carefree and happy most of the time.

>>4151502
That's fucking gay. Its much cooler if she's affected by the GRIMDARK instead of being a faggy animu loli fantasy of yours.

>>4151389

Bisque is a soup made from the shells of crustaceans.

Notable versions are lobster and prawn.

>>4151508

Dude? Chill.

>>4150125
>>Our Mascot is a Cook
Is this the PG version of "My Sex Slave is a Classmate"?

Yes, because grimdarking everything just quells the fagotry doesn't it?

Really, how much of a teen fagot do you have to be whining that everything being grim makes everything else grim.

beleive it or not, some of us have a really grim veiw of the world, and continue being cheery and fun regardless. Sometimes that is how you cope with everyone else being dickheaded fagots.

>>4150258
read the graphic novel, that scene was waaay more intense.

>>4151548

No, that's not how it works at all. Faggot.

She cooks all the monsters the party captures. Dragon tartare! Roast dire bear! Rhesus macaque biscuits!

>>4151606

If the party kept the belief of 'We gain the strength of the enemies we devour', that could actually be pretty fucking awesome right there.

>>4151548
>>4151599
......fags....

She has been feeding the PCs meals prepared of the various travelers she hacks to death. Do this.

i'm gonna stand very firmly against her turning out to be doing something horrible. it's almost expected. an ordinary person being with the party will be more interesting, complicated, and unexpected

>>4151664
This is true, and like >>4150862 shows, you can become much more attached if the person was just an average joe who was in the wrong place at the wrong time

I'm not saying you should kill said cook, but you'll find your players will become much more attached if she's just a normal cook juxtaposed against a party of seasoned adventurers.

>>4151606

Delicious! Roasted worg for everyone!

>>4150125
OP's image reminds me of this.

>>4151664
I agree. Everything you could possibly do to make her evil/tragic has probably been done to death.

>>4151678
totally. realize that if, say, she's a wizard, they won't worry about her so much. they're actually worried about her, by the OP, which is a great sign of attachment

>>4151705
I can never tell if /x/ is being nice or a bitch in this one.

What is the party's average level? Take that subtract some arbitrary number to make her somewhat weak in comparison and she is that level of Expert. Players are level 20? She's level 12. Players are level 10? She's 5. Actual numbers can be changed to suit your needs.

>>4151727
pretty sure she's supposed to be yandere, so nice

>>4151727
i assume it's a love potion thing

>>4151912
probably less of a potion and more of a prayer/offering to the dark gods because of the ritualized way she presents it with her being dressed only in ribbon

inb4 meatbread

>>4150785
I ask for dessert.

/tg/ doesn't care as long as a girl is paying attention to them.

>>4152050

Sadly, this.

Holy shit i was just thinking about this very topic, Lich Loli is currently running a Cafe in Hopelorn.

>>4152284
Really? And how's that working out for her?

>>4152309
Fucking enraged the GM to no end. I took /tg/s advice and had her just drop her dad's phylactery on the ground and planeshift away. He already gave her a invisible wizard mark of the planes ruler that only undead can see so she can just wander anywhere she wants and no one bothers her.

I spent the entirety of last game session making skill checks like Cooking/infernal lore/dissection when i had to serve up larva brains to a undead mindflayer and a stuff like that. Because enchantments are cheap as hell in Hopelorn she had a wide screen scrying portal installed on the wall, the party is one of the patrons favorite shows.

The GM and party have no freaking clue what to do now. :)

>>4152336
.. There's a "Dissection" skill?
Couldn't you just use Heal in a different way?

>>4152348
It's in the 2ed Necromancers handbook, the book has alot of science type skills.

go into great detail of how delicious her meals are, mostly meat dishes.
one time have a PC find a raiders body stripped of good meat beind a tent or something cook just says "oh, sorry i forget to get rid of the corpse"
*hums to herself and removes corpse*

i definetly like the idea of raiders coming to a camp expecting it to be empty and all getting picked off one by one by a cook using a cleaver with max stealth stats.
it could be like the alien movie

>>4152357
Sure but by forcing players to invest in niche skills they're also lacking in diversity.
By using a smaller number of skills the Lich Loli could prepare such specialty meals as well as be of assistance in combat and surgery, mundane or exotic.
Just sayin.
There's only so many skill points to go around.

>>4152404
Perhaps, in her previous career, the cook was actually one of the few adventurers who have had the distinction of bringing the fabled Orb of Zot from the dungeon.

>>4152404

For some reason I imagined her specialising in wonderful sweets with horrid ingredients.

Blood Parfait.

>>4152435

Served with a black cherry instead of a red one.

>>4152423
After all, wearing an amulet of gourmand for so long can change more than just your taste buds...

>>4152442
Pure evil.

>>4152435
I hear that, especially as she only gets half XP if she isn't carrying her dad around anymore. Dissection is actually a useful skill, it acts as healing for undead. She got it as a Kit skill along with knife specialization, it gives a +1 damage bonus if you are using a knife so it combines to give her a feasible combat ability. Against a Kobold or a smallish Goblin. Maybe.

Ironically she's up to her eyeballs in mortal adventures right now, she has the only place in Hopelorn where you can get normal food.

WAFFLES OF THE DAMNED 24/7, she only sells breakfast items..

>>4152442
Don't try that shit around the party Paladin.....

she'd have to use the cooking knife as more of a dagger than an axe or she'd have to be a dwarf for the tunnel stalker feat (and have to deal with lesser sneak attack damage)

>>4152475
Syrup of Souls. Lay it on thick, ma'am.

Is it wrong that I read all this shit about gourmet food made out of people and immediately thought of Taffy?

Unassuming? Check!
Cheerful? Check!
Incredible cook? Check!
Hidden badass side with a dash of psycho? VERY CHECK

>>4152504
Seeing as she serves cooked Larva for the sentient undead she is literally serving up the Toasty Souls of the Damned.

Can't she craft weapons?

Delayed Blast Meatbread could be rather lethal to all things that have arteries left.

>>4152546
It would be like playing an Artificer but with food-themed fluff.
Not difficult to work in at all.

Daddy died when I was little. He was just a woodsman who lived outside the town. I don't remember him.

My mum was the cook for a roadside inn on the side of a mountain. When it was Summer, we would cook sweet pumpkin pies which the travellers could smell miles away. In Winter, hearty beef casseroles that warmed even the coldest of patrons. In Springtime, we would go out in the field and gather wildberries for jam.

When I was nine, mum fell sick and died. I still cooked for a little while, but bandits took over the inn a few days after my tenth birthday and I ran away.

I don't know how long I've been in the woods. Every now and then I sneak back and steal supplies from the bandits, some flour or sugar or a new ladle, and I cook a pie or a soup in my cave, just like mum and I used to. It's nice not feeling lonely for a little while, but I have to cook more and more so I don't feel alone these days.

I wish I had someone to cook with, someone who had a real pot and good meat. Then we could be happy, and we could travel far away from the cave and the bandits.

I hope every night before I go to sleep that a nice person will find me...

>>4152698

Damnit anon, I just want to hold her and tell her we can cook a delicious cake together.

>>4150125
Do as in your OP pic. Have the party come back early from a fight, finding the cook pouring her own blood into the meal she is making.

Figure out for yourself if you want it to be a "lol I've been giving you super aids and screwing you over" moment or somehow a good one with her blood giving the food some healing effect or whatever good but not overpowered effect you might think of.

>>4151014
>If you want to get her plot-involved, and Rogue-y, think Stone Soup, or some scheme where her culinary skills gets the party out of a jam (bribes the guard with cookies, Iron Chefs a warlord into retreating from invasion).

I am now working an Iron Chef tournament into my next campaign complete with Chairman Kaga.

>>4152740

Yeah, but you have to have him talk in his own language and have someone translate for him, despite the fact he can understand the PCs just fine. He insists that they talk to him and not the interpreter.

>>4152698

I hate you, Anon. I hate you with all my being.

Hate.

Hate...

Ha- *sniff*

HATE.

>>4151533
A bisque is generally any thick, creamy seafood or veggie soup these days. And I'm not sure what you mean with the crustacean shells. Crustaceans, yes, most often pureed, but shells?

On a side note, it's great fun for a cook-fa/tg/uy like myself to find a thread like this.

>>4152740
Bang a gong, we are ON.

>>4150125

This picture confuses and frightens me. Why is she so happy? Why is she doing it in the first place?

I know it's a cliché... but she can always be the BBEG orchestrating things from the shadows.

That or an assassin that secretly follows the party, 'disposing' of threats to them, aiding them... dragon meat tastes an awful lot like chicken you know

i for one like the ideas that have been thrown around here.
especially the whole "cultist chef" thing. the idea of the party chef secretly using human meat in the cooking and offering up prayers and meat to some dark entity to benefit/help the others sounds very lovecraftian and somehow pleasing to me.

>>4152864
sweets for her boyfriend?
and perhaps some twisted idea of getting her boyfriend to only have "a taste" for her.

>>4152864
Her, blood, sweat and tears went into those brownies. How can you not appreciate that effort?

>>4152882

Huh. My girlfriend's birthday is next week. We've only been going out for three weeks, but perhaps that's the way to go.

A cake with a 'personal' touch.

>>4152889
sure, do it.

but for the love of all that is unholy, dont tell her afterwards.

>>4152905

What? Why not? This shit's serious devotion, right?

>>4152912
sure, but not everyone might see it that way.

>>4152855
Fuck no.

If you have a NPC that your players like - it is ALWAYS expected that:
1. He/She will die horribly. "FOR DRAMA!" cackles DM satisfied of the "depth"of his campaign.
2. Will be abducted. Often connected to point number 1.
3. Be BBEG/Spy or just Evil in general

See also:
-close family
-love interest
-close friends

Originality, yo. Making her "normal" person, not "I TEAR OUT HER LIVER" subject would be quite refreshing.

Or that cooking tournament idea, it's awesome.

>>4152698

You live alone in a cave, lol.

>>4152924
The reason a lot of DMs do that is because it is awesome. Fuck your originality, its not about being a pretentious cunt its about having fun.

>>4152970
You got a problem with that, yellow bitch?

>>4150785

>>4152982

Go buy a house like a normal person.

>>4152924
>Evil in general
no such thing

>>4152979
It's not awesome. It's trite. It's done to death. Every NPC either betrays you, gets kidnapped, or dies. Having someone stay loyal, alive, free, and un-raped is positively rare.

>>4152979
It stops being awesome after first 5 times.

>>4153021
Its fucking boring, the only reason you say that is because you want to be a unique snowflake trying to be different to what everybody else is doing. They're doing it because it works well.

And once again an awesome thread falls to Skub.

>>4153030
I think the point he's making is that experienced players will expect it those three things. It's possibly to throw up a plot hook for an NPC which doesn't involve kidnapping, death or them betraying you. Having them sit around with everything being fine is, as you say, boring, but there's other paths to treat for a GM then the old, reliable and predictable. Have something happen to a person/place the NPC knows, see if the PCs want to help them out. Have them involve themselves in the NPC's life rather than just the NPC themself.

>>4153052
oh why must all the good ones die so young.

>>4153068
>Implies that there are no young evil ones that have died young.

>>4153066
Its only a surprise if every NPC isn't like that.

>>4153086
>Implies that moral goodness has anything to do with "oh-wow-this-is/tastes/whatever-awesome" goodness.

>>4153104
>Implies that...bah, who am I kidding? Go have fun, then. I'm outta here.

An awesome cook who occasionally turns psycho?

Yes please.

>>4152735
Complete Arcane: Blood Magus prestige class: Level 4: Blood Draught. Can use own blood to brew potions. Add in some Book of Vile Darkness style 'blood empowers magic' rules. She's been feeding your players potions of heroism this whole time, mixing her own blood into the pudding.

And while she, personally, might stay with the party and never betray them, maybe she has an ulterior motive to travelling with them. Maybe she needs her share of the treasure to bribe an evil magistrate to release her father from wrongful imprisonment. MAybe she's a minor (adept-level) spellcaster who doesn't have what it takes to be a front-line adventurer, but still wants to expand her power after her master cast her out in a fit of insanity. Think about her backstory and motivations.

>>4153018
See
>>4153013
before you say such.

Can't sleep, Michiru will get me.
Can't sleep, Michiru will get me.
Can't sleep, Michiru will get me.

>>4153265

Gave up on waiting for you to sleep, I'll see you in twenty minutes.

Nighty niiiiiiiight.... Johnyyyyyyyy.....

>>4153301
GOD DAMNIT STOP FUCKING WITH ME ALREADY YOU WHORE I'M NOT GOING TO RAPE YOUR MOTHER FOR YOU

One unfortunate day, she will run out of ingredients. Not wanting to disappoint her tired and hungry friends who had taken such good care of her, she decides to perform the ultimate sacrifice.

The PCs come back to the camp, and dinner is served. They notice an Unseen Servant cleaning up the pans and kitchen utensils. As they start their dinner, they notice...that their mascot cook hasn't appeared yet.

One of the PCs gets something whispered in their ear by the DM and their character screams. They found an eye in their soup, one of the Unseen Servants got clumsy with serving the meal.

...why can't they go the fun classical route of her being like the second coming of a Goddess or something? But none of that 'She Forgot' shit. That's bogus. Like the end of Dallas.

Bump for cute women chefs.

i love this thread.

>>4153488

Next time don't use Winston's old recipe books.

Have her be one of the characters from this.

>>4153786
Oh god I remember that

>>4150125
Make her an Expert with Profession(cook), Shield Proficiency, if you wish add a few ranks of rogue but only for the EVADE, ditch any weapon proficiency, shield is the only thing useful for her .

Add "Dae Jang Geum" and "Ratatouille" traits to the character, food is not just food, food is an experience for god's sake you can do art with just some salt and water.

One might consider the tale of Lizze Shin-Kicker, who stormed the Gates of Heaven when she was just a little girl and SLEW THE GOD OF WAR to learn the secrets of cooking.

KING: No... you can't do this!
LIZZIE: Why, Your Majesty... are you afraid?
KING: Only a fool would say no!
LIZZIE:You will eat it. I can make you.
KING: No... NooooooooAWMPH! Ohpf... deaah gawwd. Itsh*gulp* delicious. There's... there's no more, is there?
LIZZIE: No, there is not.
KING: General! Strike me down, then have every last man, woman and child put to the sword. There's no point going on anymore, not now that it's all gone...
GENERAL: At once, sire.
LIZZIE: Mwahahhahahahahahahahaaaaaaa!

>>4153924
Also, here is the mechanical outcome of the cooking competition.

>>4153931

>>4153936
source

>>4153936
YOU.

POST THE GIF.

THE GIF OF HER WINING THE DANCING CONTEST.

>>4153956
I'm afraid I don't have it.

>>4153984
INCOMPETENCE! MUST I DO EVERYTHING MYSELF?

>...but, dear reader, you might wonder... what did Lizzie do that day, to be etched forever into the hearts and minds of those present at the Royal Ball? One can only guess, dear reader.

>>4153994
seriously, source

>>4154015
I don't understand your request.

>>4154015

http://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/Princess Maker 2/

Was the title of >>4153924

>>4150125
If its a dish that seems fairly normal, don't go into great detail unless one of the PCs asks. If it looks new, probably have the cook give a quick spiel about a new recipe they decided to try out.

Statting her would completely depend on the situation. If you don't plan on ever killing her off, obviously don't worry about it. If you decide you want the occasional thing to happen -just- as your group returns from a dungeon, then by all means do so.

>>4152698
Wait a tic... Pumpkins don't grow in the summer! What the hell are you trying to pull? A trap, I say! Don't fall for her dewy eyes and *sniff* Is... is that bread pudding I smell? Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to stay for a bi

>>4151705
Anyone have this picture without the writing on it?

>>4152740

ALLEZ CUISINE!

>>4150125

This is unbearly awesome.

>>4150535
what is this from?

>>4150125

I've always wanted a party cook who was a bit off, like some half orc nutter who's annoyingly good at clubbing things over the head but doesn't fight. Also the cook likes to make meals out of things we kill....

>>4155484
>some half orc nutter who's annoyingly good at clubbing things over the head but doesn't fight
wat??

Bumpan for awesome.

oh god why do I find the OP picture so adorable

>>4155484
I've heard stories like that back when the Wizards Boards were 3.5. Goblin Wereskunk would save just enough of his teammates to revive when they died, then cook the rest.

ಠ_ಠ

>>4155182

I just had a thought. If she uses certain meats in her meals... Shouldn't she know the heal skill by proxy? You can't spend time near a body and not learn the heal skill. So she can also act as the party healer in a sense.

>>4156110
"I brought you this stew to help you get better."

"Hey, this tastes great! What kind of meat is this?"

"Your kidneys."

*spittake*

>>4156142
I know plenty of guys and girls that can cut a mean tenderloin, but wouldn't know how to stop bleeding if their life depended on it.

Rape her

>>4156165
>RAPE HURR
Fixed.

>>4156171
Wassamatter, too CHAOTIC NEUTRAL for you?

That's an easy way to make a quest hook.

"Hey guys, the king's servants asked me to cook for him next week!"
"[cha-CHING!] That's great! You'll be famous pretty soon."
"I'll need your help to get some ingredients for it, though."
"...like what?"
"Oh, nothing much. Eggs, flour, spices... [mumble] dragon meat."
"WHAT."

What the fuck is wrong with you /tg/ that every time theres an NPC the PCs like you just HAVE to kill her or turn her into a villain?
I mean, sadistic bastards aside its so fucking cliche.

>>4156185
... wat
Rape... Rape isn't chaotic neutral! It's... You...
... Fuck.

>>4156150
I am both disturbed and intrigued.

>>4156160

True.. but then again this is a rouge that uses slain enemies in her cooking. If you had to clean every single human you cooked I bet you would know something about the inside of the body. But if you were handed a already cut piece of meat you might only know how to cook.

>>4156185

>Wassamatter, too CHAOTIC STUPID for you?
fixed

>>4156229

Well, you would certainly know how to fuck up a human body. Knowing how to stop bleeding and prevent infection? Those would be a little outside your purview.

>>4156229
knowing how to carve up a good flank steak != bandaging a wound or splinting a bone. She might know the inside of the body pretty well, where all the organs go, which might give her a nice jumping off point for becoming a surgeon, but that's not really what a field medic does.

>>4150125
>>4156368
>>4156326
>>4156229
>>4156160
>>4156142

Sounds to me like a Synergy bonus. 5+ ranks in profession (cook) [profession (butcher)?] gains you a +2 to Heal checks, agreed?

>>4156698

I can go with that

GOD DAMMIT, SOMEONE ARCHIVE THIS.

>>4159460
Already done.

On another note, sure is a zombie thread.

>>4156698
I just don't see it, it's too far stretched. Maybe just for butcher, but that should be a separate profession from cook.

>>4152698

Don't do it, she'll use you in th

>>4159531

Well obviously she needs Cooking, Butchery AND (whatever the skill is to know what berries are poisonous).

>>4159576
Survival?

>>4159604

I guess. And is there a Gathering skill?

>>4159707
gathering food from the wilderness is covered under survival

GIVE HER LEVELS IN SURVIVOR THIS WAY SHE HAS DEFENSES BUT IS STILL ENTIRELY USELESS IN COMBAT

What about Summoning, as in >>4150204?

If she did that, what would be suitable to shoot forward and restrain her victims?

AUTOSAAAAAAAGE!!!!

>>4160015
heh, wizard spellbook that alternates between the preferred way to prepare a bisque and an eldritch spell to hold down enemies while you flay the meat from their bones.