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  • File :1238551746.gif-(212 KB, 256x192, catbow.gif)
    212 KB Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:09 No.4149198  
    So, apparently one of the new players in the 4e game I'm in is a furry...aaaand an obnoxious one. He's playing his Razorclaw Shifter Rogue as a "cute" catgirl, and one that acts like a kender (constantly steals things, "nyaa"s and gets all offended when we get pissed off).

    How do I make him leave? I know this is cruel, /tg/, but I want to make him suffer.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:10 No.4149208
    Summon fleas.

    Diseased ones.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:10 No.4149210
    Give me more information. What do you play, your fellow party members, your DM's general attitude. And I will give you a solution.
    >> Balthazarr !!nwQQDePp11/ 03/31/09(Tue)22:11 No.4149214
    punch him in the face repeatedly.

    Over and over and over again until he dies.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:11 No.4149217
    just get a cat launcher,just carry around a pistol as the sick fuck may try to fuck the cats
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:12 No.4149222
    play out what happens when you steal things from someone. beat the shit out of his character until he learns that being retarded is not in fact a good way to play games that are inherently social
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:12 No.4149224
    weeaboo furfags, the worst kind of them all
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:12 No.4149228
    Get your character killed.

    Come back as a xenophobic paladin.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:12 No.4149233
    1) Wait until he says "nyaa" out loud
    2) Stand up, point at him, and say in a commanding voice "YOU, are a fucking faggot. We're fucking tired of your shit."
    >> Leman Russ 03/31/09(Tue)22:13 No.4149239
    Calmly and politely explain to him that his actions are annoying. Be as respectful as possible and be sure to listen to any counter arguements he may have.

    Which he won't because at the first hint that he could be doing wrong he will flip out.

    Which you can savor. He will never suffer, though unless you do something illegal. His kind are too far gone. Just kick him out.
    >> Teens are still idiots. 03/31/09(Tue)22:13 No.4149240
    >>4149208
    Beat me to it.

    Tell him how demented his perspective is and how fucked it is to want to fuck animals.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:13 No.4149242
    >>4149214
    >>punch him in the face repeatedly.

    /this

    >>Over and over and over again until he dies.

    And people wonder why 4chan has such a bad reputation.

    You don't kill them because a dead man feels no pain and you WANT them to suffer.

    I mean honestly. Sheesh.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:13 No.4149246
    You know, in some countries, they cut people's hand off for stealing....
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:14 No.4149248
    Kill him, skin him, butcher him, dispose of the evidence.

    You get rid of the furry, get a bunch of human skin you can use to make clothing for yourself, get meat to supplement your meals for a long time, especially if you also eat the organs... And you can get away with it, if you dispose of the evidence well enough.
    Do I really have to say I'm kidding?
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:14 No.4149252
    "Nyaaaa~" is weaboo, not furry.

    Short answer? Rape. Slowly have this character drive you towards evil, and then stick her to the ground with knives and rape her repeatedly until she dies. In graphic detail.

    Alternately, have her neutered in as painful and complete a way as possible.
    >> Teens are still idiots. 03/31/09(Tue)22:15 No.4149254
    >>4149239
    He'll get angry as fuck. And that's mental suffering. Just be a cool motherfucker. Be the Fonz.
    Laugh at him as he explodes in fury.
    >> Teens are still idiots. 03/31/09(Tue)22:16 No.4149261
    Or, if you're DM..

    When he steals, make guards somehow notice his crimes and kill him in a humiliating way.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:17 No.4149269
    >>4149210

    We've got a Dragonborn Barbarian (actually got pretty offended when the catgirl purposely acted as if he was a furfag too), my Half-Elf Chaladin/Feylock, Eladrin Wizard, a Human Taclord, and a Dwarf Cleric. The DM doesn't give a fuck and just wants to run the game in peace, he's pretty stolid.

    >>4149233

    He does say it, and does a sort of pout and headtilt too.

    I'm not sure just telling him to leave is good enough, how do I really make him pay?
    >> Leman Russ 03/31/09(Tue)22:18 No.4149270
    >>4149254
    Thank you, I will use a cool, calculating Lawful Evil Fonzie as my next BBEG.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:19 No.4149275
    >>4149239
    >>4149254
    First this.

    Then, for your next character, play a longtooth shifter of your own. Come on to her something awful, until she flings herself at you. Seduce her. Then explain that A) she's pregnant, and B) because of your penis-barbs she'll be bleeding horribly and unable to have sex with anyone for the rest of her life without horrendous agony.

    Then proceed to rape her up the ass. If she still gives you grief, break all of her limbs, knock out her teeth, and throatfuck her to death.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:19 No.4149276
    I vote for the xenophobic paladin.

    One of my friends played a blatantly racist warforged who hated elves to counter another pc's elf-faggotry. It worked and was hilarious to the rest of us
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:19 No.4149279
    >We've got a Dragonborn Barbarian (actually got pretty offended when the catgirl purposely acted as if he was a furfag too)

    Sounds like you have an ally.

    TEAM UP AND CRUSH HIM FOR HERESY.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:20 No.4149287
    >>4149239
    This is the correct answer
    >> Teens are still idiots. 03/31/09(Tue)22:21 No.4149297
    >>4149275
    God, no..

    That'll give him the satisfaction he wants. You need to make him suffer.

    Play a furry and mimic his every move. Adopt an equally annoying saying and say it EVER SO SLIGHTLY louder than his "nyaaa" and at the same time. Claim it was your idea first. Laugh hard.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:22 No.4149303
    >>4149276

    I've had a player who was always racist against "lesser" races... was usually an elf, but at least once did this with a half-ogre.

    I'm the guy who deliberately tries to make half-orcs, lizardmen and the like respectable.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:22 No.4149304
    Begrudgingly have your character seem to befriend him. When he trusts you enough wait for the ideal situation where he will attempt a feat that will rely on your assistance. At the crucial moment do nothing. Then walk away and only turn your head around to present him a wicked grin that only says, "just as planned."
    >> Teens are still idiots. 03/31/09(Tue)22:22 No.4149310
    >>4149270
    Oh fuck yes, why didn't I think of this?

    I'm doing that for my group when it's my turn to DM.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:23 No.4149315
    When you come to a room with enemies and a locking exit, lock his ass in there with the enemies. Maybe he'll get the hint
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:24 No.4149321
    Softmode: Tell him that his playing style does not work with the groups playing style.

    Roughmode: Tell him he's an immature little girl that needs to stop his annoying bullshit he calls roleplaying.

    Who the fuck says "nyaa" anywya? What kind of DUDE says this?!
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:24 No.4149328
         File :1238552698.jpg-(52 KB, 400x400, orcaristocrat.jpg)
    52 KB
    >>4149303
    respectable orc?
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:25 No.4149333
    This just in, 4e attracts furfags!

    Fucking WotC adding a furry race to 4e.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:25 No.4149335
    >>4149304

    You don't actually need to befriend him. Wait until the party's in a tough fight, then say, "you run up to the dragon, and I'll flank around to the other side!"

    Then don't. Wait until the shifter is unconscious, then go fight the dragon. Stabilize the furry's character, but do not restore it to consciousness. Obtain a wagon. Cart the shifter around in it, occasionally beaning it on the head and then stabilizing it to make sure it never wakes up. Sadly explain, with a perfectly straight face, that the furry's character is in a coma and even your extensive medical expertise is not enough to make a difference. Do this immediately after bludgeoning the shifter for comedic effect.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:26 No.4149337
    >>4149261
    STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:26 No.4149339
    see if your dm will let you outright murder his character.
    Play new char (xenophobe paladin) who has to roll will saves or EXTERMINATE THE XENOS. Lose will save, murder fucktard, rinse, repeat.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:26 No.4149341
    >>4149261
    >>4149246
    >>4149228
    >>4149279

    Think we have a good setup here;

    -Team up with Barbarian.
    -Get him caught for theft. For bonus points, turn him in.
    -Decide on extreme martial punishment (hand cut off)
    -When he starts acting like a weaboo again, bash his stub.

    Abuse him in-character until he gets the message.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:27 No.4149355
    Ask the DM when this CATgirl next goes into heat.

    Smile, and wait for the impending chance to whore out a fellow PC for money.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:27 No.4149358
    you could also use this to turn him in for stealing
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:28 No.4149367
    >>4149252

    He's a furry as well as a weeaboo. Our Dragonborn player is the nicest, most mild guy I know, but even bringing up this guy sends him into fits of rage. Apparently because weeaboo-furfag-whatever thinks he's "a closeted furry" for playing a Dragonborn, and keeps trying to send him furry porn.

    When his character isn't trying to be "cute", he has her hit on NPCs of seemingly any gender and species, as well as the PCs.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:28 No.4149371
    if you get all visibly upset over his weeaboo furryness, you'll only play right into his persecution complex, making the situation that much more difficult, cause its only gonna enbolden him. Also, your group may have sympathizers that may side with him especially if you are the agressor. You might end up the one being kicked out.

    No, this situation calls for mind games.

    What you need to do is avoid confronting him point blank on the furry issue. I've confronted enough furries to know that they immediately put up a mental block, ratiotionalize what they do as being misunderstood, and claim that they are not as bad as some "other" furries. And will often turn the faggotry up to 11 out of spite.

    The proper way to make him miserable, is to systematically find opinions that he holds, and without outright calling him out on the furry issue, blast his opinions and make him feel stupid. Only choose arguments that you can win though, and make sure the other players are around to see. You are in luck though, cause furries tend to have such a warped series of opinions, finding topics to grill him on should be easy.

    It will be easier if he doesn't know, that you know, that he's a furry. that way he will not suspect that its the reason he's being picked on.

    if he does know that you know, and you insist on confronting the faggotry directly, consult this list

    http://www.godhatesfurries.com/index.php?p=dealing
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:29 No.4149374
    >>4149355

    Oh god no, he'd probably be all too willing to roleplay it, if I know the type.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:29 No.4149376
         File :1238552983.jpg-(11 KB, 180x227, 1237091202294.jpg)
    11 KB
    >>4149198

    Two things
    one: I now want to make a magic cat launcher just for the heck of it, would anybody like to throw in any ideas on how to make?

    two: Whatever you do, either do it away from the table to avoid banning form the DM. Or otherwise do it so innocently that nobody notices that you RP a evil bastard that "somehow" grew hate for the furries race until suddenly you sacrifice the furry to the BBEG to negotiate the release of the party and swing the campaign from good to evil(BP if you animate the furries corpse to be your undead minion as a zombie and make it do the nastiest shit you can think of and defend the zombie even if the furry re rolls).

    Nothing makes a furry shut up more then if you terrify it without "fursecuting" it.

    Also what kind of level is the furry? 10% weeaboish? Or 50-80% furry fuck?
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:31 No.4149386
    >>4149275

    Aren't Longtooth Shifters the descendants of werewolves, werebears, and wereboars? None of those have penisbarbs.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:32 No.4149395
    >>4149276

    This sounds hilarious, please tell the whole story. I have a friend whose super-Christian mom started playing 4e...and immediately kills any elves they encounter.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:33 No.4149408
    this will need to be discussed with the other players first, but make a character with an equally disturbing fetish who feels the need for everyone to know about it. for example, a dominatrix who is constantly in uniform and has a strange fascination with the furfag and a huge desire to tie it up. be as obnoxious as possible about it. pray he gets the point.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:35 No.4149417
    when any of my players get to faggy I start making really fucked up traps to send the message. Y'know, sharks flying out of the walls, a lever that releases carnivorous butterflies. If they fuck around all retarded-like I fuck around with them back.

    It's usually just for jacking drinks and stuff, though, and they all think it's hilarious
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:35 No.4149422
    My question is, how the hell does ANYONE in the group tolerate the furfag? From what I've read, he sounds like the most annoying fucker ever.

    If I had to suffer that shit, I'd have a talk witn the DM. I can't handle that shit without glaring at the offending party more then well enough.

    I feel bad for the Dragonborn player, because I play Dragonborn too and I'd throw if I was in the same situation.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:37 No.4149437
    >>4149408
    It'd need to be farther gone than just S&M. Make the character a child molester. Roleplay it.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:38 No.4149440
    >>4149408

    This would only work if you made damn sure to pick a fetish the furry wouldn't like at all. Like maybe your dominate (male dominatrix, basically a leatherman) has a huge hard-on for shaving people. Like, entirely shaving them, including eyebrows. Something really weird and so completely, worryingly nonsexual that the furry will have no other option but to be perplexed.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:38 No.4149441
    >>4149395

    ... That... Sounds kinda hot.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:38 No.4149442
    >>4149422
    It seemed main problem seemed to be the Weeaboo aspect as a few posters noted the entire "nyaa" thing is a rather weeaboo thing.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:41 No.4149470
    >>4149395

    Lets see if I can remember...
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:42 No.4149476
    why don't you just be an adult, tell the guy that the group isn't comfortable around him, and that he's not invited to play d&d with you anymore?

    then his character falls through a plot hole, and everyone is the better for it. There's no need to force him out of the group with some kind of graphic and humiliating circuitous plot, that's childish.
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 03/31/09(Tue)22:43 No.4149483
    If your characters do dumb shit IC then have the world fucking punish them. You aren't a fucking parent figure there to protect them from the consequences of their actiosn so fucking well don't. If they are doing dumb shit have fucking guards come after them, or mobs of civilians, or whatever the fuck you need to send to make the message crystal fucking clear. Talk to the other players too so they don't back up the fuckhead being a fuckhead in the pursuant fight, making it even clearer that they were being a fcukhead and that if they elect to piss off the characters in the game the characters in the game will no longer see fit to do anything more for them than is utterly neccesary for the completion of their endgoals. If they pick dumb races send them somewhere racist. If they do stupid shit send them to nations utterly intolerant of stupdi shit. If they're casual criminals and treat the sort of shit you see in the vidya where peopel come into other peopel's house and take their shit while having a reasonable conversation as how the game should work fucking smash them for it.

    Stop being a pussy, stop letting get away with shit you don't want, and start doing your damn job which is running the game and the gameworld.
    >> Marquis de cremefraiche 03/31/09(Tue)22:43 No.4149484
    >>4149395

    oh baby
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:43 No.4149485
    >>4149328

    Not THAT respectable. Pirate captain, most often.

    For Lizardmen, I've always wanted to do the "noble savage" thing, but my parties end up being a bunch of racist casters/elves.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:43 No.4149487
    >>4149442

    I'm DM'ing a group that's not experienced, and sadly still in their teens. Late teens, but still teenagers nonetheless.

    There's one guy who I keep a watching eye over. He's an avid anime fan, and he's confined with me that he does not mind loli. So, I keep a watching eye over this guy.

    Good thing I'm not good friends with anyone in the group, as we've just started, but if I got any hint of weeabooness, I would have a hard time refraining from showing displeasure at his behavior.

    And to be honest, the weeaboo and immature shitfuckery of saying "nyaa" out loud is much, much worse then having subtle furfaggotry characters.

    Not that I'd shy away from letting the offending party knowing that there's a time and place for everything, and the RP has it's own set of rules.

    God I hope I'll never see shit like this.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:44 No.4149489
    >>4149437
    right, but child molester is taking it a bit far. it depends on whether furfag is an S&Mfag as well i guess. fucking with him in that matter will either work wonders or backfire horrendously.

    my sympathies to your friend by the way. does the group know furfag is screwing with him? because if so i think theyd understand if he beat his ass over the matter, in-game or not.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:44 No.4149499
    instead of falling into the trap of acting offended at how he's a weeaboo furry, how about baiting him into argueing with you?

    Find topics that you know will offend him. Start talking about them ever now and then and argue reasonable but contrary opinions to his. Drag these arguments out, make them nasty, but always provoke him towards higher levels of anger while seeming cooler and more collected.

    Essentially troll him IRL. They are used to defneding their stupid ass hobby, what they are not quite as used to is argueing other things. Logic is their weakness, they wouldn't be furries if they were good at logic.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:46 No.4149512
    >>4149198
    Explain this to the guy, punching him in the face with each word.
    1. Shifters are not catgirls/catguys/catfolk.
    2. Shifters are not kender.
    3. Stop trying to play a Chaotic Stupid Rogue.

    Finally, please tell me this isn't set in Eberron.
    If it is....

    Anonymous cancels post: RAGESPLOSION!
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:47 No.4149521
    >>4149499
    So be a typical Talk Radio host? Dude that's worse than being either a furry or Weeaboo.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:48 No.4149525
    >>4149487
    >He's an avid anime fan, and he's confined with me that he does not mind loli. So, I keep a watching eye over this guy.

    OH HE DOESN'T MIND LOLI BETTER WATCH THE FUCK OUT
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:48 No.4149526
    >>4149395
    My friend the elf-douche was playing the same character he ALWAYS PLAYED, the snooty elf with connections (he actually roleplays it pretty well despite not being really douchey outside of this). We had all told him how fucking tired we were of the bullshit character and he just laughed at us (as did the DM, who encourages conflict within the party as long as it doesn't extend to the IRL group). So our tank creates this whole elaborate backstory about another continent that had a huge elf-human/warforged war years and years ago but was at peace now, so they had to ship all these fucking crazy ass warforged barbarians out of the country before the flipped out on the elves and started the war again. He had the DM bring him into the campaign on the first session by packing him in a crate in a ship we were looting.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:48 No.4149527
    >>4149525
    >I AM A BUTTHURT PEDO
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:49 No.4149528
    >>4149483

    pro-tip: OP is a player not the DM
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:50 No.4149540
    also steal and destroy his sheets when he's not around, make it seem like he's losing his papers.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:50 No.4149547
    Convince your GM to set up a hostile encounter with a group of baby-raping Razorclaw Shifters.
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 03/31/09(Tue)22:50 No.4149548
    >>4149528

    Then fucking leave, take the good players with you, and start your own group. If your DM considers this acceptable then their standards are too low to validate any form of gaming with them.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:50 No.4149550
    >>4149540
    That goes into the realm of being incredibly childish.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:53 No.4149581
    >>4149521
    i disagree, last i checked, radio show hosts, don't dress up as radios and fuck each other.

    Some like Phil Hendrie provide a legitimate service in irl trolling. Following their example is the foundation by which you can make an idiot get all butthurt.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:54 No.4149582
    Steal something from the DM and plant it on said player. Hilarity ensues... that or namecalling and crying.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:54 No.4149583
    >>4149526
    the warforged pops out swinging his axe, enraged, crits, and kills the elf (who was a little low on xp from the encounter beforehand.) The tank is flipping out smearing blood all over himself and spraying elf-chunks all over the room while me and the other pc just stand back against the wall, not sure how to react until his rage runs out. He suddenly calms down, looks at me and the other player, bows properly and says in a british accent "Well hello old chaps, I do thank you for freeing me! My apologies about this dreadful mess, it seems you'd been hoodwinked into travelling with an elf! Care for a spot of tea?"

    so awesome
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:55 No.4149594
    >>4149550
    >That goes into the realm of being incredibly awesome.
    Fix'd
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:55 No.4149596
    >>4149550
    more childish than saying "nyaa?"

    sacrifices must be made, and against such odds, honor is usually the first thing to go.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:55 No.4149599
    vorephile
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:56 No.4149603
    >>4149583
    For the love of god tell me he had a monocle, top hat, and his weapon was an axecane.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:56 No.4149610
    >>4149583
    fuck yes! you are the most awesome robot ever
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:56 No.4149613
    >>4149583
    Totally fake, but awesome none the less.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:57 No.4149622
    >>4149603

    Well, I know what my next character's going to be.

    Warforged Barbarian with a monocle, top hat, and axecane, multiclassed with an arcane class with all of his arcane abilities flavored as eye lasers.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:59 No.4149637
    >>4149622
    Call it the Monobeam and have him refer to everyone as Westley and you are set
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)22:59 No.4149640
    >>4149371
    >It will be easier if he doesn't know, that you know, that he's a furry. that way he will not suspect that its the reason he's being picked on.

    He's been pretty blatant, I wouldn't really care whether he was a furry if he didn't constantly shove it in our faces.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:00 No.4149646
    >>4149613
    okay the crit was a lie, it actually took him several turns to kill him
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:01 No.4149654
    >>4149603
    didn't think of it at the time, would have been fucking great, I'm now making this character for my warforged bee-hive druid. HE CAN KEEP BEES IN HIS HAT OMIGOD!!
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:02 No.4149655
    >>4149376

    50-80%, the DM actually told him "shifters aren't that animal-looking", but he didn't change anything and the DM hasn't brought it up again.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:02 No.4149656
    >>4149371
    So be more childish than him! Way to go!
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:02 No.4149658
    >>4149583

    OP. Take fucking note from this.

    Seriously, if this guy is that fucking annoying, I'm pretty sure your characters would be getting fucking pissed at him too.

    None of you guys chaotic alignment? Fucking take a swing at him, end his cat bitch. Make a pact with the dragonborn player beforehand to back you up.

    If the DM asks, the shenanigans endangered the party's safety, and in general ended up making your character racist as fuck. That's just good roleplaying.

    He'll either stop being a bitch and make a new character who isnt fucking retarded, or leave.

    Or complain, and then either of the above.
    If his characters keep acting up, your dude will be used to murder by now, fucking kill him again.

    The alignment is so totally worth it.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:02 No.4149659
    >>4149640
    Are these "things" considered common in your setting? I could see it walking out on the street and attracting lynch mobs very easily. An elf doesn't just walk through a community of dwarfs unharmed.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:03 No.4149667
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    >>4149470

    Me and the party were on the way to kill a demon on a campaign that was looking like it was going to take a turn for the worse, and this furry(dam purple cheetah ranger) was really starting to get on my nerves. So I notice this and I ask the DM to let me switch my main with a new roll(I talked with the DM so I could have a semi permanent character that I could have if I didn't screw up to badly.) So I make this new roll a secret evil necromancer(DM approved) so I could hatch my evil plan. We get the castle, beat down some demonic undead(While the furry made some bad undead puns and joked about if I wanted to "bone" them), and then reach the evil arcane research room with the daemon about to cast it's super powerful gate spell. I then cast finger of death on the furry and then cast animate undead(all while the party stares gaped mouth at me), and then I shove the zombie forward and say " I sacrifice this abortion of nature to appease the soon to be god of Orcus(the demons patron after a natural 20 knowledge planes check) for the allegiance of our party!" The DM, guys, and me all go into a huge RP session and after the furry cries a bitch fit the party(after a reroll and then wining about why he can't just kill the zombie) then goes on a world enslavement campaign and I keep the zombie on board to mess with the furry and drive the thought that if he doesn't step in line I'm going to pull shit like that.

    Pic related
    It's my awesome necromancer(who I kinda tried to derive the personalty from after I pulled the zombie shit). They didn't see it coming.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:04 No.4149674
    >>4149583
    I think his inspiration came from berserker in 8bit theater
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:06 No.4149685
    If confrontation - subtle and up front - doesn't work, then go for the classic method.

    Kill her. Skin her. Make a point of fashioning a vest from the fur that you ALWAYS WEAR. And make a point of wearing. Get it mastercrafted, if possible.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:06 No.4149686
    >>4149622
    Liberty prime is online dear chap, all my systems are quite indeed nominal, weapons pleasantly hot, my mission it would seem, the destruction of any and all elven forces..

    hmm, yes, Now, there seems to be quite an obstruction detected, its composition: Elven Biological matter supplimented by mithril chainmail, yes, well the probability of mission hindrance, zero percent, my good chap.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:06 No.4149687
    >>4149674
    Oh yes that lovable scamp
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:06 No.4149693
    >>4149622
    >>4149637
    Just tell the DM your Warforged can shoot lasers from his eyes. Make it equal to some beam weapon at his overall level. The rational behind it? You are playing a deathbot. No self-respecting killing machine doesn't have laser beams from its eyes.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:07 No.4149701
    >>4149483

    OP here, I'm not the DM. I'm playing a Paladin.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:08 No.4149708
    >>4149693
    I object.

    Using a Hammer weapon would be more fun. Since you are super strong throwing the Hammer would be more than satisfying
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:10 No.4149722
    >>4149656
    if it gets the job done, then yes. be more childish
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:10 No.4149725
    >>4149708
    We already have the axecane and now you want Sir Roland Steelballsingham to shoot hammers from his eyes?!
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:12 No.4149736
    >>4149701
    If Silver Flame then purge it for being a Werewolf.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:12 No.4149738
    >>4149527
    Honestly whether he's a pedofuck or not doesn't really change the point. I don't mind gay people any more than regular people but I'd be pissed off too if suddenly that meant everyone was watching me thinking I was going to flip out and start sticking my dick in people's asses.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:13 No.4149743
    >>4149725
    hammers from the eyes!?

    FUND THAT SHIT, nobody expects hammers from the eyes!
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:13 No.4149746
    >>4149725
    No no no... Not from the eyes.

    He wields an Olympic Hammer (spikes could be a plus)

    Spins with the grace of an athlete and lets loose the mighty weapon
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:14 No.4149750
    >>4149667

    After that I also gave the nastiest jobs to that zombie as well. We just killed a bunch of troglodytes and we think that they ate some of the gems? The tank got hit into a pile of shit and needs to be cleaned? I dropped a key into the sewer and it's bean night at the mess hall? Furry zombie all the way! All while the bastard cringes.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:15 No.4149755
    >>4149701

    OP, then listen to:
    >>4149685
    >>4149658

    You're a paladin, that's a perfect excuse. Find a reasoning for your god to FUCKING HATE his race.

    Then, bam. You and dragonborn buddy kill the heretical abomination.

    Do it.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:16 No.4149759
    >>4149701

    You are a paladin.

    he steals things.

    Even if you don't get to smight him for being evil, you are well within your class/alignment to turn him into the proper authorities and leave him to rot.

    In fact, if he steals from people that don't set of your evildar, you are almost obligated to.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:17 No.4149768
    >>4149759

    Shit yeah man. You're a fucking paladin, if you're worried about killing him for roleplaying sake, you're missing the bigger picture that he steals and needs to be punished for it.
    >> Old Agent Anon 03/31/09(Tue)23:18 No.4149774
    Simple solution.

    Have the fucker get GM kidnapped during the next camp out. Bam. Hole forms, Catgirl is gone.

    Have a BBEG slit their throat like they do in euthanasia shelters so the Furry can never talk again because you've effectivly severed thier vocal chords.

    Add magic to make it perma.

    Then send them on a quest to get the voice back.

    Have the end result be the Big Good Guy who gives the reward of voice back shape-shift the cat girl into a dwarf male as a way to fix it.

    And then have them make it permenant.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:20 No.4149781
    >>4149759
    Why not go to the DM with others in the game that are fed up with the guy and talk to the guy.

    Griefing could lead to the other guy leaving and you getting kicked out.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:21 No.4149793
    >>4149774
    Why does this sound like a plot from FATAL?
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:22 No.4149797
         File :1238556134.jpg-(55 KB, 704x480, 0107035.jpg)
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    Wait... I've seen this character before...
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:22 No.4149803
    >>4149768

    TRUTH and JUSTICE, motherucker. TRUTH and JUSTICE.

    Lead him gently to the authorities, grapple him if he resists. If he runs, report him and refuse to adventure with him. If he attacks, then you can kick his ass in self defense.

    The only way this goes against you is if the DM has the town guards just give him a slap on the wrist and let him go because he is a PC. Kindly remind your DM that cutting off the hand of a thief is a time honored tradition from ancient cultures around the world.

    No way he wants to play a one-handed character, and your character now has a legitimate, in game reason to distrust similar characters in the future.

    Just as Planned.
    >> Old Agent Anon 03/31/09(Tue)23:23 No.4149806
    >>4149793

    Probably because you fixated on the words "Dwarf" and "hole"
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:23 No.4149814
         File :1238556233.jpg-(30 KB, 400x307, 4dc4694312c5dca5c2d741dd7fd472(...).jpg)
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    Play this race to outfurfag the furfag.

    The whole party is going to lynch you though if the DM doesn't kill you first.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:25 No.4149820
         File :1238556314.jpg-(24 KB, 357x333, aisha.jpg)
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    >>4149797
    fa/tg/uy confessions:
    I played a character that was a fusion between Aisha and Kamina, a shifter bardbarian.

    Shit was so cash.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:26 No.4149831
    >>4149803
    Did someone say... stump knife?!!!
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:26 No.4149836
         File :1238556397.jpg-(173 KB, 892x1024, what did you just say.jpg)
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    >>4149814

    What the hell is that? It so... FUCKING COLORFUL IN A BAD WAY.

    Like, they should be extinct because there are no heterosexual males among them to repopulate the species sort of colorful.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:26 No.4149838
    Don't be an outright dick. Tie a torch to his tail and then gasp and act surprised when he gets upset. Tell him that's what you do with all your cats.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:28 No.4149852
    >>4149658

    OP here, I should explain why, as a Paladin, I can't just go "my god hates Shifters" and kill him. Early in the game, we encountered a tribe of goblinoids, and the DM hinted that we could get full exp as if we'd defeated them if we found an alternative solution. The Goblins were well-equipped deserters from some Underdark army and were raiding the town we had been hired to help because they were starving and couldn't grow food in their caves, while the villagers had lots of food but were forced to pay exorbitant amounts of money to hire adventurers to protect them because they had no militia to speak of. We managed to get the two groups to get along, trading food and shelter for the Goblins in exchange for them protecting the town. To help facilitate this, I made it clear that my religion prohibited me from racism, that Pelor's light shines upon all races willing to see it.

    So, killing Shifters would make me a hypocrite.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:28 No.4149860
    >>4149743
    I see it now
    "I've got you know Sir Roland! Without your monocle you are powerless!'
    "Oh no dear chap, that trinket was but to hold back my real power. Now face my HAMMERBEAM you brigand!"


    And yes, he does sound like Sean Connery
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:29 No.4149870
    >>4149722
    Okay, so the guy does this thing that bothers you. Talk to him, one on one, and tell him to tone it down, stop looting everything because it derails the adventures and tell him the "nyaa" bothers you.

    Doing "I'm having my character kill your character because your acting bothers me IRL" is beyond childish. It's a down right cowardly, pussy tactic because you weren't man enough to look him in the eye and tell him with out everyone else there as your cheerleading team or resorting to violence.

    Besides, ask yourself this- does this guy do ANYTHING right, or is it strictly this employment of using some silly anime cliches that are getting to you?
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:29 No.4149883
         File :1238556596.jpg-(23 KB, 200x200, dnd_prc_20070320_graygard.jpg)
    23 KB
    >>4149852
    That's why you go gray guard. They don't take no shit.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:30 No.4149886
    >and one that acts like a kender

    imo, that's the unforgivable part. I don't think there's anything wrong with catgirls per se, any moreso than elves and orcs in a non-Silmarillion campaign setting.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:30 No.4149888
    >>4149852

    Well you royally fucked up. Solution is, wait until the furry attacks some creature, and then in turn lop his fucking head off and declare that he was being a racist fuck and "Pelor's light fucking burns holy vengeance down upon racist fucks".
    >> NuBlackAnon !!z6ldXGL61Wm 03/31/09(Tue)23:30 No.4149889
    >>4149814
    that looks like something I would see on a vision quest, fucking trippy
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 03/31/09(Tue)23:31 No.4149902
    >>4149852

    There are more than one possible cause of hatred.

    If you know this character did the wrong thiong report them to the fucking authorities and take them there so they can learn the rightful punishment for their sins. Beat them if neccesary. Lawful Good does not mean Gullible Nice.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:31 No.4149906
    >>4149852

    see
    >>4149759
    and
    >>4149803

    This is clearly the way to go. Should solve the problem, or at the very least make him act less like a stupid Kender. Also fits perfectly into gameplay. You just need to wait for him to steal something.

    This might take a while, but it WILL happen. Its actually to your benefit if he tries to steal from someone away from town, as in that situation you ARE the law (you are a fucking paladin, who would dare challenge your judgement in the field?).
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:32 No.4149909
    >>4149599
    Huh? somebody say vorarephilia? I love that shit.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:33 No.4149915
    >>4149852
    Yea and if you got a cruel DM he might invoke LOL FALLS if you do that. (If he makes you fall just pray its a minor penance needed)
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:35 No.4149931
    >>4149889
    Dude where'd you score that LSD man!
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:35 No.4149932
    >>4149852
    Perhaps Pelor (thanks be unto him), while shining his light upon all races (such is his infinite wisdom and mercy), also requires all races to strive for betterment by improving their behavior (so that sinners such as we may be worthy of Pelor's forgiveness). Which means cutting out the obnoxious shit. On pain of doing penance. Really painful penance.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:38 No.4149951
    >>4149906

    What if he's primarily stealing from PCs?
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:39 No.4149963
    >>4149951
    Smash his hand with a hammer
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:40 No.4149964
    >>4149233
    This is Brilliant
    >>4149476
    >There's no need to force him out of the group with some kind of graphic and humiliating circuitous plot, that's childish.

    the hell there isn't,
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 03/31/09(Tue)23:40 No.4149970
    >>4149951

    Then you must arbitrate the conflict as the legitimate authority, or present it to the guards if the crime took place within the town's boundaries and hence the town's laws. A paladin is under no requirement to ignore the criminality of his compatriots.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:40 No.4149975
    >>4149852
    This calls for some IC religious discussion. What's that? He fails to see Pelors light? Smite him as a heretic.
    Plus, this'll earn you fear and respect from the rest of the group.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:41 No.4149982
    >>4149970
    So cuff him.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:43 No.4149999
    OP here. So, DRASTIC MEASURES kill him with the Dragonborn's help if it gets too horrible. Otherwise, turn him in to the authorities for theft next time he steals something (like I said, he's like a kender, he'll just take random items to be "cute" usually, jewelry and shit, but I'll see how strict petty theft laws are), or rebuke with a RIGHTEOUS BITCHSLAP.

    Anything else?
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:43 No.4150000
    tbh if I were in this situation I'd probably just treat him like shit in and out of character all the while pretending that its just because its funny but really because I hate him. I'd do everything I could to keep him from getting treasure, refuse to help his character when he needs it (like healing), and just generally be a dick. Your DM sounds too much of a pussy to kick anybody out. I'd also probably set up my own game where I could actually have a good game.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:43 No.4150002
    >>4149970
    >>4149982
    >>4149963

    If he steals, SMASH HIS FUCKING HAND. Or cut it off. Then throw it in a lake. Being a Paladin doesn't mean you have to be a pussy.

    You are the fucking fist of god in the mortal realm, act like it.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:44 No.4150016
    >>4149999

    Righteous hand slice. Seriously. Cut that motherfucker off if he tries that shit.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:45 No.4150026
    >>4149951

    If he is stealing from PC's, the you have EVERY right to turn him in/punish him in some way. Say that, as an ally of yours, you were at first sparing in you punishment, but after praying to Pelor for guidance you have realized what you must do.

    You are the PC's. You are, presumably, heroes with a greater purpose or task ahead of you. If he is stealing from you guys, then he is, knowingly or not, aiding your enemies by limiting your resources and sowing discontent within your own party (this part seems pretty legit). As such, you must either redeem him or remove him, and letting him be punished (or punishing him directly) is the first step on this path.

    Pelor is forgiving, but Pelor is not a bitch. You do not steal from those who are CLEARLY walking Pelor's chosen path.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:47 No.4150039
    >>4149198
    It's a.... CAT-apult! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ah dslkibgfas fbseaf/odufbq43wapolcb n q/34
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:48 No.4150054
    >>4150026

    OP, this.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:49 No.4150066
    On a related to Pelor note: The following prayer from our resident cleric of Pelor got us through the Tomb of Horrors.

    "Hey Pelor, you so fine.
    You so fine you blow my mind.
    Hey Pelor *Clap-Clap*, *Clap Clap*
    Hey Pelor *Clap-Clap*, *Clap Clap*"

    I shit you not, the cleric would do this every time we rested.
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 03/31/09(Tue)23:51 No.4150080
    >>4149999

    This is intended to represent late feudal-period legality. The laws are often strange and arbitrary based on the whims of the Lord of the Manor, although agents of the monarch are likely employed to travel the land and ensure there is some form of vague consistency in the manner of the early systems of precedent.

    Unless this is an early Victorian-era game. In that case, there are explicit laws operating under classic crminiology, that is, if you committed the crime then you will recieve the codified punishment regardless of circumstance or intent, and the laws are harsh.

    Depending on the nature of the town you're visiting and the extent to which the government is trying to prevent the flourishing of criminal activities and the pressures on the marginalised to commit said crimes ther punishments will vary from strict, considerable gaol time for theft, to extraordinarily strict, execution for theft. If your GM is a competent world builder you'll be able to infer the laws of the entire locality from its social structure and recent history.
    >> Regault 03/31/09(Tue)23:53 No.4150093
    Cut off his hands for stealing.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:55 No.4150121
    >>4150093

    That might be a little extreme for the first punishmetn, someone would call bullshit, especially if the Paladin did nothing before (as it sounds like). Next time he steals, cut off a finger. THEN, if he does it again, the whole hand.
    >> Eidolon !!x4UZsNRzxWG 03/31/09(Tue)23:56 No.4150123
    So not only is this guy a weeaboo, and a furry, but he uses dungeons and dragons to express his furriness and releave sexual frustration. what a pathetic person. tell him to quit acting like a 4 year old. 4 year olds run around and pretend they are dinosaurs or cats or dolphins. he, as an adult, shouldnt do such things. either he throws up his fursecution complex and bawws about it for a year, in which case you made him suffer, or in the rare chance he actually realizes you are right, he might grow up and become a pretty cool dude.

    and what the fuck is nyaa
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:57 No.4150137
    >>4149999

    Let us know how this turns out, I would like to know his ultimate fate.

    And I think all of /tg/ would enjoy hearing about a weeaboo furry player being punished.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:57 No.4150140
    Inform the furfag that until such time as he stops being a douche, he will stop receiving treasure and XP.

    If he continues with his faggotry request a voteban, and get him kicked from the table. Replace him with someone who isn't a douche.

    I don't know why you haven't just done these extremely simple and mostly drama free things.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:58 No.4150148
    >>4150140

    FOR THE LAST TIME, OP IS NOT THE DM, HE IS A PALADIN.

    CHRIST.
    >> Anonymous 03/31/09(Tue)23:58 No.4150151
    >>4150140
    Way not to read the thread.
    He's not the DM.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:00 No.4150171
    >>4150123
    In anime, catgirls and girls with cat-like personality/tendenacies tend to go 'Nyaaa,' implying that cats go 'nyaaa.' Rather then 'Meow.'

    It's like in Japan, pigs go 'chu,' not 'oink.' They're just arse-backwards.
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 04/01/09(Wed)00:03 No.4150193
    >>4150121

    >>extreme punishment

    Welcome to feudal legal systems.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:04 No.4150205
    >>4150171
    Well Onomatopoeia is a rather subjective thing between languages. I mean compare what they use in Spanish compared to English for certain parts
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:05 No.4150208
    >>4150171
    The pig reference comes from an anime called "Black Lagoon," where the main female character flips out, and starts executing civilians on a Neo-Naxi ship. She calls them piggies, and says "Chu, chu, Little piggies." Of course, that's in Japanese Audio with Engrish subtitles.


    All in all, Black Lagoon is a highly enjoyable anime, with a main male lead who ISN'T a pussy. Main female punched him, then shoved a gun in his face. He pushes the gun out of his face just as she shoots him, then punches her. They get into a scream-out. It's fairly awesome. Better then the whole "Male caves to any female aggression" bullshit you usually see.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:08 No.4150244
    >>4150208

    You forgot to mention that they shoot down a Hind with a torpedo in one of the first episodes.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:16 No.4150345
    >>4150244
    Second episode. Shit was so cash.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:18 No.4150358
    >>4150208
    >>4150345
    Acceptable level of weeaboo.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:19 No.4150375
    >>4150208
    When was that? Every episode I remember is just him being a pussy. Then again, I quit as soon as the battle maid showed up. So stupid.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:23 No.4150418
    >>4150208
    >>with a main male lead who ISN'T a pussy.

    All animes are for pussies. Fuckin' grow out of your irrational submission to Japanese authority on everything. Fuckin' realize that the world has many different cultures equally, if not more so interesting than Japan.

    Fuck anime.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:25 No.4150435
         File :1238559904.jpg-(3 KB, 125x130, Copy of stare.jpg)
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    >>4150208
    Well thanks for telling me more than i ever wanted to know about anime noises.
    >> No Man 04/01/09(Wed)00:25 No.4150442
    >>4150026

    Consensus: use the 'Pelor is forgiving, but Pelor is not a bitch' line.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:29 No.4150504
    As a Paladin of Pelor, remember your god's third commandment, Pelor abhors evil in all forms. Next time he tries pickpocketing shit, do a perception test, when you catch him in the act, lift him into the air by his throat, inform him of commandment number three in no uncertain terms, and if you ever catch him again you will bring down the righteous fury of your god, and as a simple point of fact, that is what you do every day without blinking an eye. Next time he does, pick your biggest baddest daily, and just smash him into dust.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:31 No.4150520
    >>4150375

    I'm pretty sure that was before the ex-FARC Terminator Maid arc. Same episode as when the Russian mob boss chick was seen editing hardcore porn.

    "Is that in her ass?"
    "Right in her ass."

    >>4150418
    >all cultures are equal
    >fuck the Nips

    MASSIVE IRONY BLINKERS
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:36 No.4150579
    >>4150520
    You just have to look a bit further.
    >all cultures are equal
    >fuck the Nips
    Therefor
    >fuck all cultures
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:36 No.4150583
    >>4150435
    Beware the man who would deny you access to information. Because in his heart, he dreams he is your master.

    Or some such shit.

    >>4150418
    All I hear is wah wah wah. Just go off and cry some more in a dark corner somewhere...
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:37 No.4150589
    >Fuckin' grow out of your irrational submission to Japanese authority on everything.

    PROTIP: Anime is full of white people... its not a sign of our submission to them.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:38 No.4150599
    >>4150375
    I quit after battle maid as well.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:41 No.4150626
    >>4150599
    >>4150375
    Yeah, the Battle Maid was a bit much.

    Then again, it picks up after that for a bit.

    Then goes down with the twin lolis who swap gender. Oh, one wields a MG-44. And fires it without bracing.

    Yeah, the /k/ommando in me raged that entire arc.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:43 No.4150656
    >>4150504

    OP. Do this. Please
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:44 No.4150664
    >>4150504
    You: What does the Radiant Might of Pelor look like?
    Furfag: What?
    You: What God you worship?
    Furfag: What?
    You: What ain't no God I ever heard of! They worship Common to What?
    Furfag: What?
    You: COMMON, MOTHERFUCKER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT?
    Furfag: Yes!
    You: Then you know what I'm saying!
    Furfag: Yes!
    You: Describe what Pelor looks like!
    Furfag: What, I-?
    You: [pointing with your sword] Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say what one more goddamn time.
    Furfag: He's s-s-shining...
    You: Go on.
    Furfag: He's glorious...
    You: Does he look like a bitch?
    Furfag: What?
    [You shoots Furfag in shoulder]
    You: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
    Furfag: No!
    You: Then why you try to fuck with his commandments like a bitch, Furfag?
    Furfag: I didn't.
    You: Yes you did. Yes you did, Furfag. You tried to fuck with his word. And Pelor don't like to be fucked by anybody, except maybe a dainty dryad demigod every now and then.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:45 No.4150673
    >>4150626

    Those weren't lolis.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:45 No.4150680
    >>4150520
    Accurate. I laughed.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:48 No.4150716
    >>4150504

    OP here, the one downside is that...well, the reason I used "kender" to compare it to is because he plays it off as "lawl she's just being cute or innocent", and he shrugs off any attempt at correction. Should I still mash him into dust?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:51 No.4150750
    >>4150626
    It's a work of fiction. Y'know, like using a torpedo to knock out a Hind D or firing a few 9mm rounds into a car and have it explode in a huge fireball.
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 04/01/09(Wed)00:52 No.4150759
    >>4150716

    FOR FUCK'S SAKE YES HAVE YOU NOT READ ANYTHING HERE.

    JUST BECAUSE YOU ACT CUTE DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET AWAY WITH SHIT IN A PREINDUSTRIALISED FEUDAL SYSTEM PRIOR TO THE INTRODUCTION OF THE CONCEPTS OF MENS REA AND PARTIAL DEFENSES AS ANY OF THE LITERALLY THOUSANDS OH HANGED GAOLED OR TRANSPORTED FOR STEALING TWELVE-YEAR-OLDS WOULD TELL YOU.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:54 No.4150775
    >>4149198
    Ok get a hand towel, get it wet(piss is acceptable), shove it down the furfag's thoat, wait a little while, now rip the towel out of its thoat and watch as his insides come out as well since the wet towel ended up binding with the flesh around it. Yay.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:54 No.4150782
    >>4150716

    The players disagree about what kind of world they are in because you were too stupid to talk about it and enforce your agreements. So his stupid catgirl is a violation of that agreement that he doesn't seem to care about, putting his own satisfaction above the other players. The word for that is a bad-player, and he will keep being a bad-player.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:56 No.4150807
    Kill him.

    Make sure your lawyer stacks the jury with anti-furry D&D players.

    You will not be convited.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:56 No.4150809
    >>4150716

    Yes! This aint a fucking fairyland where boo-boos get kissed and crime goes without punishment. You're a fucking Paladin. You have a HOLY obligation to lay waste to those who perform evil acts. You don't base what is right and wrong on what other characters/npc's say their intention is, you base it on the motherfucking righteous commandments handed down to you by your god. You've studied the scriptures, YOU know what deserves punishment.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:56 No.4150815
    >>4150759
    Too be fair, not everyone runs DnD in anything that even resembles an accurate preindustrial society. I know I don't.

    That doesn't change the fact this furfag needs a good smiting.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:59 No.4150841
    your paladin may not be rascist but he sure as hell can be corporal punishment when it comes to breaking "pelor's laws" and theft of any kind is punishable by the loss of one's hands(especially annoying for the furfag cause they're razorclaw right?)
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)00:59 No.4150850
    >>4150716

    If you were a Paladin in a campaign I was running I would dock you lawful alignment if you DIDN'T smite the thieving furry.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:01 No.4150863
    Aren't most pure shifter villages tend to go for more corporal punishment. Enforce the law of her village
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:01 No.4150868
    >>4150716

    Hell yes. If you didn't want to punish evildoer's with the might of your blade, why did you roll a Paladin of Pelor?

    Cut off that thief's hands at least. Pelor wills it.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:01 No.4150869
    >kender

    This is the truly unforgivable part, IMO. I'll admit, though, that combining kender + weeaboo + furry in one obnoxious package has got to be a bit overwhelming. I suggest you sit him down and have a talk. Just point out that you have no problem with his furriness (even if you're lying, to keep things civil) but pointing it out all the time is annoying because nobody else parades their sexual preferences around (unless you do, in which case you're kinda screwed because it would make you a hypocrite).

    Second, explain to him that kenders are fucking horrible and annoying and to never ever play character that remotely resemble them. Trust me, I've been down this road. This girl I used to game with would play a "kender" NO MATTER WHAT CLASS AND RACE SHE WAS. Basically be calm and, again, civil, but explain that stealing things because you have no concept of ownership is not an endearing trait. If he insists on playing such a character, just make sure you facilitate some kind of in-game consequences for him to deal with because trekking about with a klepto can get you in serious trouble.

    Third, tell him 4e isn't anime and to tone down the weeaboo. I don't think anything else needs to be said after that.

    This of course assumes he listens and is a reasonable person, which it sounds like he's not, but, honestly: talking directly to him is more likely to solve your problems with him than being passive-aggressive.
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 04/01/09(Wed)01:01 No.4150871
    >>4150815

    It doesn't have to be an accurate preindustrial society, that's just the example everyone who did any history ever should be familiar with. If it does not have a coherent system of governance, economics, ownership, law, and defense it is not a society. If it has these things, no matter how bad or weird they are, then it is a society. It takes exactly thirty seconds to come up with an arbitrary society and half an hour plus your world map to make an accurate one, so a nonsociety is a sign of incredible laziness on the GMs part in any game of anything.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:04 No.4150901
    Also OP nice trolling 10/10

    You got 200 posts.

    I bet I could tweak the OP to get more irrational FREAKOUT RAGE.

    You needed to add that he also plays 40k as Tau or Ultramarines, and thinks 4ed is the best edition ever ^^
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:10 No.4150964
    >>4150901

    that would've totally ruined it, was great trolling
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:10 No.4150978
         File :1238562659.jpg-(48 KB, 400x481, 1235064559931.jpg)
    48 KB
    >>4149476
    My ears are bleeding.
    A non-corrosive opinion, on MY /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:11 No.4150990
    >>4150964
    Although sometimes you gotta go for the BIG shot
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:15 No.4151027
    >>4150066
    I lol'd.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:16 No.4151040
    >>4150664

    OP here. I am definitely going to do this. He probably won't even get the reference. Although I use a Warhammer instead of a sword, it should still work.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:17 No.4151051
    >>4151040
    Then knee cap his character with the hammer when you hit him for saying what
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:18 No.4151064
    >>4151040

    Warhammer is even better. You can smash his fucking hands/face in. Shattered bones tend to get the point across.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:19 No.4151078
    >>4151040
    >>4151064
    >>4151051
    So you're going to use a boring GRIMDERP game to hurt him?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:20 No.4151080
    In game crush him with super heavy grimdark death and destruction including bludgeoning, maiming, and evisceration. Make is so bad he has nothing at all to smile about.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:21 No.4151088
    >>4149198
    he steals, turn him in, if he steals from you, apply penances, if she refuses to pay penance for her crimes, smite her one and ask again, every time she refuses hit her upside the head with your biggest remaining daily until either A. Dead furry. B. She agrees, inform her that the penance is to repay in charity all she has ever stolen, lest the sun turn it's face from her.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:21 No.4151094
    >>4150901
    And that is why you aren't a good troll.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:22 No.4151102
    >>4150901
    It's rather poor trolling if it's trolling. I don't see any rage or hate here. In fact, this is one of the more entertaining threads on the front page.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:22 No.4151109
    >>4151094
    But I believe humor is part of any good troll
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 04/01/09(Wed)01:29 No.4151176
    >>4150869

    I played a pseudoKender once, someone from a tribal race unused to outside contact with no system of ownership who ended up in the party as he left the tribe in order to take the Sacred Sky Fire Bird for the tribe to gain the favour of their god and ended up trying to track this meteor all over the world. A particularly large, dark-skinned and strong tribesman who always used the most powerful bow he could obtain to exploit strength modifiers in this system.

    I played it straight at first and got in-character smashed for it, not playing it off as jokes but just playing it as not knowing about concepts of ownership, until the Paladin who had more or less elected to try and teach my character how the outside world worked decided to explain ownership in that someone worked hard to get something in order to trade that thing for the thing they wanted, and that it would not be fair to that person to take something that the yhad worked hard for when I had not worked hard for it, illustrating the example with allegories of my own village and a hard worker and a lazy worker. It all made sense, and my character ended up becoming extremely lawful about property rights for a time, to the point that he would complain if people were making disproportionate exchanges for overpriced or underpriced goods. More than once he attempted to stop market thieves by holding their wrist and calmly explaining that it cost the fruit seller effort to earn the items with which to purchase this item in order to exchange it for other items that he desires and that it would not be fair to take the item without giving something of equal value in exchange for it in a perfectly neutral voice , putting the item back, and letting him go. Since he was six foot five this was surprisingly effective.
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 04/01/09(Wed)01:30 No.4151185
    Then he noticed that even though some people had worked very hard to get things and others had worked very little to get things that sometimes the people who worked very little had lots more things, and that this was not fair. The Paladin tried to explain this as the peopel with lots had been given the money because of the hard work of their ancestors, but he also noticed that those with wealth earned further wealth with less work than those without. At this point the Paladin was struggling to explain it, especially as he had chosen a god of charity as a benefactor, and the tribesman decided that this was not right and that he should explain to the chief of these lands that there was a mistake here that should be fixed. He went to the lords, and the law courts, and the king's emissary, to recieve no proper reply other than scorn and mockery. So, he set about making things fair by changing the laws and the government through political avenues. Needless to say despite considerable efforts and his own intelligence his complete lack of knowlegde in court politics and traditions made this difficult. In the end he decided that the nobles themselves had breached their own laws of property and that he should explain this to them individually.
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 04/01/09(Wed)01:30 No.4151190
    Somehow, this turned into a massive worker's revolution across not one but five nations as he tried to tell people that they should earn things proportionate to their efforts, and managed to lead them to military victory over the feudal authorities and establish a worker's paradise in which the only law would be WEALTH FOR WORK, and laws were based on costing the offenders the price they had cost the victims to repay them. It was good for a time, but the sheer scale of the empire and the inherent corruption eventually made the empire ustable, and his attempts to repair it drove him closer and closer to betrayign his founding principles until eventually he was betrayed and overthrown.

    Now twenty years after leaving the forest, partially crippled from the rebellion and with many of his party and friends dead in the rebellion and the subsequent infighting and the only survivor, the now-elderly Paladin, walking with him, he returns to his home. He announces to his chief that he did not find the skyfirebird, but instead a man who has talked to our god and knows his words. The new chief, eager for news of the man who served his father, and even moreso for the man who saw the Great Flatland as they call the plains past the forest edges, asks him if he has learned anything to teach the tribe. The tribesman looks at the chief with tears in his eyes, and simply says "no".

    It may have derailed a campaign intended to be grindy and basic into a massive political and military epic, but by fuck I've not yet managed to achieve a better derailment in gaming.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:36 No.4151237
    >>4151190
    >>4151185
    >>4151176

    For the record that's epic.
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 04/01/09(Wed)01:39 No.4151266
    >>4151237

    Well, there probably wasn't a need for half of it but I do think you can play Kender-types right if you aren't a juvenile ass. The problem is, as always, self-selection meaning most of the people attracted to them want it because they are juvenile asses.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:42 No.4151284
    >>4151190
    >>4151185
    >>4151176

    That's barely kender at all. That's actual good character development. Well done.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:44 No.4151297
    >>4151176
    >>4151185
    >>4151190
    lol commie.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:46 No.4151308
         File :1238564770.png-(76 KB, 244x320, Manly Tear.png)
    76 KB
    >>4151190
    >Now twenty years after leaving the forest, partially crippled from the rebellion and with many of his party and friends dead in the rebellion and the subsequent infighting and the only survivor, the now-elderly Paladin, walking with him, he returns to his home. He announces to his chief that he did not find the skyfirebird, but instead a man who has talked to our god and knows his words. The new chief, eager for news of the man who served his father, and even moreso for the man who saw the Great Flatland as they call the plains past the forest edges, asks him if he has learned anything to teach the tribe. The tribesman looks at the chief with tears in his eyes, and simply says "no".

    You have earned my tears, sir.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)01:46 No.4151313
    >>4151266

    There's always a need for epic, realistic character development and adventure derailment.

    That's what makes for the best campaigns.
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 04/01/09(Wed)01:56 No.4151362
    >>4151297

    Communism is pure egalitarism, equal outcomes no matter what else. This is actually closer to capitalism than communism.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:12 No.4151458
         File :1238566332.jpg-(22 KB, 444x366, 1237962684144.jpg)
    22 KB
    >>4151185
    >>4151190
    >>4151190
    I weep manly tears.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:15 No.4151489
    >>4151362
    I am a retard. Your campaign was awsome sir.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:17 No.4151494
    I purpose that this thread be archived. It is a testament to /tg/'s ability to get shit done.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:17 No.4151500
         File :1238566676.jpg-(20 KB, 603x380, big boss salute.jpg)
    20 KB
    >>4151176
    >>4151185
    >>4151190
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:20 No.4151514
         File :1238566814.gif-(756 KB, 241x182, 1237301063900.gif)
    756 KB
    >>4151176
    >>4151185
    >>4151190
    Manly manly tears
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 04/01/09(Wed)02:27 No.4151563
    I keep throwing up the concept of Bringing Mashengo back for another campaign because I like the idea of a huge man who doesn't really understand the way things works and when he finds out fixates to exclusivity on one aspect of it, but at the same time sometimes the good characters just need to rest.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:27 No.4151566
         File :1238567269.png-(3 KB, 175x93, 1237568098951.png)
    3 KB
    >>4151185
    >>4151190
    >>4151176
    Beautiful...
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:36 No.4151620
    Seconding archiving, although I've no idea how it's done.

    manlytears.jpg, I'd upload the picture if someone else hadn't already.
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 04/01/09(Wed)02:39 No.4151630
    >>4151620

    To archive, go to suptg and follow the ridiculously simple archive steps. It's actually too easy because damn near everything gets archived these days.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)02:44 No.4151658
         File :1238568271.jpg-(11 KB, 265x297, 1238385783760.jpg)
    11 KB
    >>4151563
    Please don't.
    He was awesome.
    Leave him be.
    >> Dr. Baron von Evilsatan 04/01/09(Wed)02:49 No.4151685
    Yeah, so back on topic, has anyone else got stories of Kender played decently?
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)03:06 No.4151778
    >>4151685
    >Dr. Baron von Evilsatan
    Counts as Legendary Derailer.
    >> Anonymous 04/01/09(Wed)04:32 No.4152345
    >>4151563
    >Mashengo
    Why is he on this ship?



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