>>4119563
Lily must be hungry! And you must be too.

Try to find out if eating it would cause mutations and a bad end for the baby. If not, eat it. If yes, mutate further for the lulz.

>>4119563
Let's check to see if carrot creature is edible

>>4119579
>>4119578
LUNCHMIND!

>>4119563
I can see the show now, "Cooking With Xom"

>>4119593

When are we not lunchminded, honestly

>>4119563
Check the garden for pests and parasites.

>>4119606

I get the feeling most Xomian Veggies eat most pests...

>>4119596
The only cooking show to actively use chainsaws, nutcrackers, and high-voltage capacitors all in the preparation of one dish

>>4119596
>>4119611

Xom animates your spatula to attack you!

Feel it with your hands first.

Then cut it.

If it moves on it's own BURN IT WITH FIRE.

If the fire makes it grow, cry.

>>4119609
Yes, but it is no reason to get careless. Also, it is probably a good idea to add some peatmoss and lightly aerate the soil, it will help the carrots to grew larger while still being tender and delicious.

>>4119631

You are wise in the ways of gardening, how many ranks do you have?

>>4119609
They could still damage the crops.

>>4119578
>>4119579

Cultist has been serving this stuff every night so far, no reason to stop now! She heads in to start preparing tonight's meal!

>>4119596
Coming soon to a crystal ball near you!

Feed it to a animal to test it out. FOR XOM!

>>4119609

>>4119660
Eating this stuff makes the baby STRONG and HEALTHY!

>>4119638
Many. I have reached expert levels. IRL, I studied gardening in high school and college (yeah for horticulture!).

>>4119660
Mouse listens to EYE OF THE TIGER

Strength up!
MANLINESS up!
Montage engaged

>>4119660

Take that Puppeteer Mouse!

Also, I am starting to think they will build up this whole tension that the baby will be a hideous mutant, and it will come out a perfectly normal half-orc just to amuse Xom.

>>4119694
They? Since when is Gnome a committee?

"Today on Cookeehng hweeth Cahlteest, hwee hweell be preparing Xarrots Stirfry!"

>>4119716
KNOCK IT UP A NOTCH. BAM!

>>4119705

Eh, I was just typing quickly. But who knows, I can picture Gnome as a shadowy board of corporate overlords.

>>4119725

Except she's more like, "Baa-hum!"

>>4119644
I think I know where those damn rats are coming from...

>>4119725
"Kheek it ahp a notch! Baaahm!"

>>4119753

/ck/ here to say: OH GOD YOU BETTER NOT BE MAKING THAT WELL-DONE, BITCH.

>>4119734
I was thinking more "East Meets West with Ming Tsai"

>>4119767
When you're eating Xomish monstrosities, well done is the way to go

Personally, I really like Blanching vegetables. Mostly because it's INCREDIBLY easy to overcook them with steaming.

...someone seems to be at the door.

>>4119781
ignore!

Dorf Quest: Butchering Elves, Gardening, Journeying to the Shadow Realm, Slaying Gods, and Cooking

Answer it! ...take knife, since you are cooking.

>>4119781
Go to the door, but peer out a window or something to try and see what's there before answering.

>>4119781
Prepare a defensive action!

Take a look outside before answering it.

>>4119781

Cameras are rolling! Isn't this a closed set?

>>4119787

I think you mean >...take knife, just in case.

>>4119781
Does Cultist know how to Turn Undead?

>>4119787
>>4119799
>>4119795
>>4119793
Knife in hand, Cultist peeks outside!

>>4119822

d'awww

Invite her in for something to eat and comfort her.

Also, mandatory. HUG MADO

>>4119822
Aww.

Nevada isn't here. Cultist should tell Mado to look her in places where she'd usually go when she wants to be alone or think. Surely Nevada has one of those places? Everyone has.

Ello There.
What seems to be going on here?

>>4119837

You mean the bathroom? GOOD PLAN.

>>4119822
Daww, poor Mado. We should help her find Nevada. This should be Cultist's quest: Become Matchmaker.

>>4119822

It's a trick.

Get the axe.

>>4119822

Invite inside. HUG.

>>4119859
This. But first, invite her for lunch! You won't find her love on an empty stomach.

Lily should eat too, and then join you on your quest. You can't leave a child alone.

>>4119833
>Invite her in
>>4119837
>Ask what's wrong

"Id's Nebada! I cand find der anybere! She'b gone!"

>>4119873
Umm....ask how we can be of help?

>>4119873
Hug her to calm her down. Invite her for some Xarrot to make her feel better. Listen what's wrong. Then tell her that Nevada will show up eventually: She just needs some time to think.

>>4119873

Tell her divination isn't Xom's thing, but you can help look, but first she should have something to eat.

>>4119863
>>4119859
>Play Matchmaker

Cultist, being the overly kind person she is, decides to help Mado to find Nevada!

But first, LUNCH FOR THREE! Cultist calls in Lily to set the table.

>>4119898
omnomnom

>>4119927

Note to self: Invest in chairs

...would this meal be considered vegetarian? Sure, it's based on carrots, but.... you know, eyeballs.

>>4119898
True love is chaotic, and can cause a lot of awkwardness, confusion, perhaps some fighting, and general weirdness, over the course of several decades. And still the two lovers feel that it's all worth it, and stay together no matter what, through it all.

True love amuses Xom more than almost anything in the world.

>>4119931
Pan-Asian seating arragments, stir-fry, it's like I said, East Meets West.

>>4119941
Xom: God of Love now added to his domain

>>4119939
Its best not to ask.

MEANWHILE, IN ALDWIN LAND!

>>4119985

>>4119987

That's intense paperwork. Any idea what our cards are?

>>4119970
>>4119941
herpaderp, I forgot to link this sooner. I heavily updated the dorf quest wiki - including a section on the Gods. http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Dorf_Quest

>>4119987
Paperwork is serious business.

>>4119987
...wait, only 3 left? Didn't we have over 60 before?

...is the paperwork THAT BAD? Or does no one there respect yah authoritah?

>>4119987

>>4120007

And you put a bunch of my fanart on :3

Inspired me to make you some more

>>4119997
>>4120008
Sure is.

>>4120007
Good job. Update TVTropes article too.

>>4120017

lol, if only Aldwin was that badass

>>4120017
You need to develop some sort of power related to paperwork.

This stuff is important! This is an assassin's guild! People's lives hang in the balance!

>>4119987
What the hell! he had 50 freaking cards!

>>4119993

>>4120029
In the dream, he used most of them against the wave of assassins, some of whom are actually stronger than he was.

Thankfully, it was all just a dream.

>>4120017
Look at your top two cards. See if one is 'the Filer' or 'The Accountant' or something.

>>4120019
People have been doing a good enough job updating that one for me. I'd rather not have to do everything, derp.

>>4120037
Top two cards are... ???

>>4120049
Nemesis seems like a bad idea. Mirror probably wouldn't help get stuff done either. Return to business as usual

>>4120049

Use the Mirror to make a copy of yourself to do the paperwork for you?

>>4120058
Leaving a monstrous summoned copy of yourself to do your work for you sounds like an immensely bad idea. Just put the cards away and do the work, there's no reason not to just work through it.

>>4120049
Use Nemesis on Mirror. Make a Mirror World Finlay, who obviously considers you his friend and trusted ally, and is more than happy to do some paperwork for you.

>>4120065

I suppose we can take the logical path since this is Aldwin's side of the quest, not Beardbeard

>>4120058
Does mirror work that way? Or is it some introspective spell that forces you (or your target) to look inside yourself, see your true identity, typical epic blah blah stuff

>>4120071
It works however we like it to. That said, seconding >>4120068

>>4120083
I think yer a dead bitch who refuses to fuck off! >8O

>>4120083

Do you honestly think Aldwin will be able to sort out cryptic card messages from his god? He should just send him a note or something.

>>4120083
I think this means just do the damned paperwork

>>4120083
OHGODKILLITKILLITKILLIT!!1!

Aldwin wakes up.

>>4120083
Well, it was just an idea. Can't win them all. And I wonder if that means that Finlay is what Aldwin would be, if he didn't have something silly such as a 'conscious'.

Ignore him for now. If he keeps on pestering you, poke him with pen and ask if HE wants to do paperwork. He wants to be in charge, doesn't he?

>>4120083
Pinch yourself. This could be another dream.

If you wake up, use the mirror on yourself to find out about your fears and terrors and deal with them.

If you don't wake up, OH FUCK KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT

>>4120104
Session powers used while asleep don't count.

PEEK DAT SHIT

>>4120104

Has Aldwin fallen into a nightmare world of guilt that will slowly consume him and drive him into madness until he is no longer sure if he is asleep or awake?

>>4120104
He checks the top two cards again.

>>4120104
USE MIRROR ON YOURSELF

SEE WHAT BOTHERS YOU DEEP WITHIN YOUR HEART

FIGHT IT, KILL IT, DESTROY IT, PURGE YOURSELF, BE ENLIGHTENED

Also this is boring. Let's move back to Cultist and Matchmaking. Love is fun.

>>4120114

Seems likely

Use mirror card on nemesis card.

>>4120120

Now there's a message from Nemelex that makes sense. The phantom of guilt is looming over you, making you feel as terrible as an ogre.

Guilt of what? What has Aldwin really done?

>>4120140

Aldwin is a sensitive, nice guy who had known Finlay some time. His actions led Goldmoon to kill him when he was framed. He probably blames himself.

>>4120127
we don't have mirror yet. when we do, we will probably use it on ourselves, it will probably show something horrible, we will freak out and run away so we don't hurt cultist and lily, then they will be in trouble, we'll save them in the nick of time, and it will turn out mirror shows what you think you are, not what you are. This is fantasy, learn to genre savvy

I don't remember exactly, but wasn't Finlay's death preceded by some weird behavior or something?

>>4120019

You sonova bitch. As if this wasn't keeping me up as it is.

Caused the death of collleage.

Alternatively Nem's telling us to leave before we have everyone we like die to assassins who want us gone.

GET LILY AND WIFE, LEAVE NOODLE

>>4120123
>Let's move back to Cultist and Matchmaking. Love is fun.
Sure, my PLOT is done for the evening. BACK TO LOVE!

Cultist, Lily, and Mado set out for ADVENTURE! By this point, Nevada could be anywhere in the country. So, we will need to narrow the search.

Mado reveals Nevada's hometown is the port city of Eridia. So, you decide to search there!

It's a warning. leave now

>>4120164

We can't leave when Nevada is relying on us

>>4120170

Yay travel sequence!

NEVADA IS LEADING CULTIST AND LIL TO THEIR DEATHS YOU FOOLS!

I fully expect Aldwin to become the Punisher.

>>4120186

This is the lighthearted portion of the quest, we just finished all that srs bsns with George, now we get a happy break

>>4120170
Damn. I wanted to see more jokerface Finlay...

Could we get some sort of xom inspired mounted travel?

Nevada's an assassin, right?

Look for him in the bad part of town.

>>4120209
Her.

>>4120209

You mean her...

>>4120209
I think you missed the whole Lesbian Crush subplot.

>Tom: BREAK GLASS CASE.

>light hearted

>dead peeps.

D:

>>4120209
No, she wants to go somewhere where she can think about things in peace. Her old place where she can escape the cruelty of the world. Like a treehouse she built as a kid or something.

Eridia, the port town, hometown to both Nevada and Cultist! Cultist recalls a poor childhood here, but at least she knows where things are. She grew up in the East Slums.

>>4120234
Brush up on your gang signs!

Go to the Taverns.

>>4120234

Shit, when is Cultist going to introduce Aldwin to her parents? And tell them about the whole, grandchild thing...

>light hearted

>Horrificly mutilated corpse ghosts warning you.

Wat.

>>4120234
Wander the upper class district. Mutate twits.

>>4120252

lighthearted meaning the search for Mado's true love subplot

>>4120249
Cultist could go meet her parents once Nevada is found. INITIATE FLASHBACK AND TEARFUL BACKSTORY!

But Nevada first.

>>4120234
I'm guessing Nevada is an upper class kinda person, we should check there first

>>4120234

Does Mado know where Nevada lives?

Aldwin:Find family, save them.

>>4120234
Go the East slums first, since we know them best. See if there are any friends we remember still hanging around.

Well, we warned you guys.

Lily:REMAIN VIGILANT.

>>4120249
Cultist decides to stop in and visit her mother, an Orc Cultist of Fate! She can ask her about Nevada, as well as mention that whole pregnant th-

...I guess mommy already knows.

>>4120312
>Orc Cultist of Fate!

This explains A LOT.

>>4120312
Shouldn't she also know that Adwin is an awesome guy and incredibly dependable?

>>4120336
But they're not exactly married. Most parents tend to freak about that bit

>Xom

>Fate.

>Pregnancy.

>Vaguely rememberd childhood.
Annnnd the shit hits the fan.us

>>4120312

...That's...that's her way of expressing joy....right? RIGHT?

>>4120367

No, but she had to throw the shoe because she was fated to, not because she wanted to, obviously

Mother gets angry.

Translated to non-orc for convenience:

"Worshipping Chaos is one thing, but there are some things you just do NOT do, no matter how much Xom is amused! Now, I know the baby was a mistake, but why the hell did you LIE TO THAT POOR ROGUE? THAT BABY IS NOT HIS AND YOU KNOW IT."

Lily activates her WAT face.

>>4120357
You mean the boot hits the face, eh?

>>4120377
wtf?

>>4120377

...

>>4120377
Lily: Kill everyone. Do it!

>>4120377
It so is his child! She's being delusional! She thinks Cultist is some whore or something!

Tell her how things are!

>>4120377
Hey! I thought you said no forced drama!

>>4120377
whoever called that like 4 threads ago, congrats

>>4120377
Nemelex was pissed at Beardbeard.

THE BABY IS ACTUALLY PART DORF

>>4120377
Initiate family therapy.

Hug.

>>4120388

Lily would probably nerdrage at this, just from channeling /tg/

Call fate a faggot who just wants to stir up drama by feeding her LIIIIIEES!

My guess its xoms child.

>>4120398
WAT

HOOOOOW

IT ALL MAKES A WEIRD SORT OF SENSE, BUT HOW

>>4120389
"Mah-mee, have hyuu been takeeng hyour mehdeseen?"

"Oh, FINE, BLAME IT ON THE DELUSIONS, YUP, that's why you ran away from home! BECAUSE MOMMY IS CRAZY, IS THAT IT? SO WHAT IF IT ALL BLENDS TOGETHER, I KNOW WHAT I SAW"

>>4120420

That is about the only acceptable alternative in my book... If its Beardbeard or Finlay, there will be a reckoning...

>>4120432

Thanks Gnome, now I am confused...

>>4120432
wait...maby saved?

>>4120432
Oh goodie. I should be sad for a poor mother on meds, but I just can't feel nothing but joy for Aldwin and Cultist and their child.

Where's dad?

>>4120432
OH ZOMON WITH THE MIND FUCKERY! ENOUGH! WE GEDDIT! YOU ARE GOD! STOPPP

Fate's just being a dick and lying, we should kill him neeext.

>>4120432
And suddenly, I'm not mad at Cultist any more. Funny, that.

>>4120377
Oh Jesus Fucking Christ Gnome! I mean, I knew we all saw it coming, but come on, give me a fucking break, can't there be some innocent joy, some little shred of good and semi-normalcy in the world!

>>4120432
Tell mom that her delusions and madness amuses Xom.

So'Zere any bets on when we'll wake up and see finlay?

I'm thinking two GM posts.

Ask her who exactly she thinks the child belongs to. Best to get at the bottom of this.

>>4120432
Well, I guess the fate business could have a tendency to drive one mad.

...what if it's the immaculate child of Xom?

...fuck.

cultist of fate spying on cultist of xom.

Laugh at Xom's twenty year long joke.

>>4120491
RED IS REBORN

>>4120440
Dad died in a divining accident a while back.

>>4120463
No, nothing is ever normal. The moment something enters Dorf Quest it is scarred eternally.

>>4120480
"Mah-mee, hwee are lookeeng for a girl."

"YOU CAN LIE TO YOURSELF, BUT FATE KNOWS! FATE ALWAYS KNOWS! THE BEARDED ONE WILL SUFFER FOR HIS SINS! HE'LL PAY FOR WHAT HE DID TO MY BEAUTIFUL BABY!" Mother begins to cry.

"...Mah-mee, she is named Nevada. Please hhhelp ahss."

"NAH AH, YOUR BABY IS A BOY!"

"MAH-MEE HWEE ARE NOT TALKEENG ABOUT THE BAY-BEE!"

>>4120510
>>4120491
Hush, you. Don't give him any ideas.

>>4120524

... Stop toying with my mind, Gnome!

>>4120524
It's a boy! Name him Finlay!

It looks like Cultist's mother can offer neither help nor comfort, and there's nothing we can offer her anymore. It was nice to visit, but perhaps now it's the time to leave.

>>4120524
Ah, fucking hell, if this turns out to be the whole Beardbeard thing, i going to fucking rage like never before

>>4120565

I know what you mean

>>4120565
*I'm, stupid typos

>>4120524

Oh, so it wasn't about the city, that's a load off my mi--WAIT, WHAT?! GOD FREAKIN' RASSLE FRAZZLE CANDY SUGAR ON TOP FFFFFFFFFFFF-----------

>>4120565
>>4120570
>>4120576
Relax, she's just being delusional.

... if THIS is what Namalex was talking about...

>>4120524
Lightly slap her to try and make her come to her senses. Though I'm guessing it might not work.

Just don't slap hard enough to cause any wounds.

Is she implying lily impregnated cultist?

>>4120596

The problem is she's also a Cultist of Fate, so we don't know what's a future portend and what's just the delusions. Get this lady her meds...

>>4120524
GGGGGNNNNNNNOME!!

>>4120607
>Get this lady her meds...

Second. She clearly needs to be strongly medicated to divine properly. Otherwise it's just weird shit and fucked-up lies.

>>4119563
Whenever these threads come around, I find myself incredibly thankful for the thread closing plugin.

>>4120615
You're doing it wrong. It needs to be GNOOOOOOOOOOOOME!

>>4120524
>THE BEARDED ONE

>BEARDBEARD

>NEMELEX RAGE

>WAT

Is it me or wouldn't Xom, Nemelex, Satan, and Glittergold fuck fate's shit sideways on a routine basis?

>>4120601
>Lightly slap her
One last try!

"MAH-MEE HWEE ARE LOOKEENG FOR NEVADA!"

>>4120607
>>4120616
While mother is whimpering, Cultist searches for the meds.

>>4120648

Elder abuse!

>>4120641
He's got Yog as his ally. They go mad together under the relentless assault of four chaos gods.

A PRICE!

A PRICE ON GNOME'S HEAD!

>>4120641

My first thought to this was:
Glittergold is dead! I killed him myself.
Then why is there fear behind your eyes?

>>4120606

Lily:kill.

Dear god these shitty Quest threads are still going. Get over it fags Weaver is gone, nobody cares about these shitty railroad'd stories.

Ignore and report.

>>4120672
>>4120680
>>4120625
Samefag. Your opinion has been noted. Now get lost.

The flare-fag one thread lower is saging, how cute.

Now heavily medicated, Mommy seems to be a bit less crazy-sauce.

>>4120672
Oh no the original is gone, now nothing similar can ever be good ever again.

No, I was telling y'all to ignore the troll.

Thread's sinking.

>>4120697

In-character: Cultist would want to know where Nevada is.

Out-of-character: Give us the honest to god truth on this baby!

Does cultist know any neighbors that could help her mom and ask about nevada?

>>4120697
This isn't even similar. There's no horror, not much plot, much more action and freedom. RubyQuest and DorfQuest are both awesome, but in entirely different ways.

Ask her about Nevada. We don't need to know about the baby: We already know the answer to that.

>>4120697
On a meta-level? Who is the baby's father. In Game? Where can we find Nevada, and, where can we find a djinn.

>thread sinkan.

>>4120697
why did you stop taking your medication?

>>4120726

This.

...has Beardbeard ever BEEN with cultist? Or is he so many, he impregnates people just by BREATHING on them?

Heal her mind with your xom magic.

>>4120745

As far as I am aware, the only times they were together is when she joined the party, was immediately sent to the library, and has only encountered Beardbeard in the presence of Aldwin since.

>>4120745
Cultist is faithful to Finlay, and wouldn't be with an ugly stinking asshole like Beardbeard anyway. Her mom's just raving.

>>4120748

That will turn out well

>>4120748
>Mind
>Xom

o lawdy

>>4120758

You meant Aldwin, right? Finlay's the quite dead asshole.

>>4120758

>Finlay

Best be a typo, bitch

>>4120753
Unless the imp did some crazy portal shit while BeadBread was banging the succubus.

Delusional, dementic, and mentally ill woman, except when in medication, at which point she suddenly becomes almost competent for a while.

She sure reminds me of someone.

>>4120776
She was already well pregnant back then.

>>4120776

But she was pregnant before Beardbeard got it on with the succubus, so no.

New thread: >>4120779

Also I would like to formally apologize. Some things are going too far, and I see that Cultist's baby is a bit of a sacred cow. I will stop poking at that subject from now on.

>>4120745
>Beardbeard and cultist have never been alone.
Ahem. Actually... They were alone for 4 days.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3717155/#3717556

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