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  • File :1237933373.jpg-(38 KB, 293x401, Illithid.jpg)
    38 KB Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)18:22 No.4074532  
    Sup /tg/, DM in need of a little help here. My players have just come out of an adventure and are in need of some time to buy stuff and relax. I decided to have a traveling carnival show up in the next town they enter. Now, what am I to put in it? Lay some NPCs, awesome or even silly items for sale (A la ring of three fishes), ect.

    Pic possibly related.
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)20:06 No.4075497
    A ring of extra ring finger.
    >> Bowlerhatman !!hZDPsoEDBxR 03/24/09(Tue)20:09 No.4075514
    Beware of silly magic items. You'll think that a Ring of Three Fishes may be utterly harmless, but it's a safe bet that whichever player gets it WILL figure out a way to make it useful.
    >> 96% of teens won't stand up for God. If you're one of the 4% who will, put this in your post. 03/24/09(Tue)20:10 No.4075529
    Creativity should be rewarded
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)20:12 No.4075542
    Ring of Three Enemy Mindflayers
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)20:12 No.4075545

    4% of teens are fucking retarded.
    >> Bones 03/24/09(Tue)20:20 No.4075610
    Creativity should definitely be rewarded.

    One time in a game I was playing in, someone bought a vial of Celestial urine from a ridiculous items shop. Two sessions later, we were assaulted by some fuckhuge demon and getting our asses kicked, so he hurled the vial at the demon. Vial shatters, demon flees.
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)20:20 No.4075613
    Bag of Beholding.

    Works as a Bag od Holding, but converts all mundane items into balloon Beholders.
    >> Bowlerhatman !!hZDPsoEDBxR 03/24/09(Tue)20:25 No.4075642
    Creativity SHOULD be rewarded, but magic items should only be added to a game with careful thought to avoid handing the players an easy button. Toss in a "silly" item in a haphazard manner, and you may wind up cracking the game wide open.

    All I'm saying is that DMs should be careful about it.
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)20:25 No.4075646
    Jar of Slugs.

    for real.
    >> 96% of teens should have stuck with pot. 03/24/09(Tue)20:26 No.4075654
    How about a really old book full of confusing and often times contradicting moral messages. Whenever one of your PC's tries to read it have them roll a percentile die, if they roll 96 or lower the inexplicably decide to live by the book's teachings and will preach to anybody in their immediate vicinity for 1d6 rounds.
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)20:26 No.4075657
    I have always liked items with no combat use that are magical, such as, I'm gay for floating lanterns that follow behind you.

    One thing I find interesting, have a wierd old man who sells candy. Some of it is magical (Elven fudge that points your ears and gives you +2 diplomacy with people who favor elves, Orc black licorice that points your teeth, mummy marshmallow that lets you eat rotten food like it wasn't spoiled) but it turns out that he's had a Shady past, and has some other "tricks and treats" that you might want your enemies to try…
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)20:27 No.4075670
    Daern's Instant Dwarf Fortress

    As Instant Fortress, except contains 7 dwarven commoners who will do your bidding. Also contains 20 barrels of dwarven ale, 2 picks, a useless manual, and 2 cats.
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)20:28 No.4075672
    Give them a sword of filleting.

    Its' special power that any meat it cuts will be a tasty-ass fillet.

    Fuck year.
    >> Teens are still idiots. 03/24/09(Tue)20:31 No.4075696
    How about a "random magic item".

    Give something like 500golds and get a 50/50 chance to get a silly item(A LA ring of three fish, sword of filleting) or a good item(A LA Instant fortress(could be in a snowglobe) or some wacky ass shit like a reality bender)
    >> 96% of teens won't stand up for God. If you're one of the 4% who will, put this in your post. 03/24/09(Tue)20:31 No.4075698
    How about a magic enema that lets you shoot poop bullets?
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)20:32 No.4075703
    >hurr bible
    >> Teens are still idiots. 03/24/09(Tue)20:32 No.4075709
    Poop humor? Really?
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)20:40 No.4075774
    I actually honestly recommend reading the bible. Some of the stuff god does is hilariously evil. The book of Job is a good place to start.
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)20:42 No.4075793
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    >> 96% of teens won't stand up for God. If you're one of the 4% who will, put this in your post. 03/24/09(Tue)20:43 No.4075797
    What's the matter? Too DEEP for you?
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)20:43 No.4075798
    Give magical properties to items that dont need them. Think of all the fun you could have it a bunch of items with returning or phasing on them...
    Hat of Returning (toss the hat and watch it land back on your head!)
    Platnum Coin of Phasing (anything non-metal or stone passes right through it, watch passers-by try and pick it up!)
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)20:49 No.4075851
    Have the male NPCs secretly buy dresses of random phasing for the ladies in the group. When worn they randomly phase... falling right off the wearer.
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)20:51 No.4075863
    i liked it when he smote that one guy for pulling out

    made me lol
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)20:53 No.4075888
    what 10 did satan kill?
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)21:04 No.4076009

    My personal favorite was when he descended to earth in disguise, walked up to a stranger and and asked to be struck.

    When the guy refused God summoned a lion to eat the poor bastard.
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)21:11 No.4076069
    Interesting NPCs... hmm..

    The Little Wonders acrobat troupe. Sixteen professional acrobats of Gnomic and Halfling origin, masquerading as human and elf children. Also a gang of pickpockets, who operate without the knowledge of the managers.

    An amazing Thri-keen juggler named Ke'te'te'ke'ke. Must be deafened before every display because the sound of applause can easily be mistaken for the Thri-keen phrase 'Your brood-mother is a mammal'.

    A freakshow which includes:a fleshy gargoyle (victim of an epic-level stone-to-flesh spell), a Wormusa (like a Medusa, but with worms instead of snakes, eats mud voraciously), and bunch of common mythological creatures with the parts reversed, such as a Centaur (a horse-and-frontlegs atop a human body), a minotaur (looks like a quadrupedal human, eats grass, doesn't speak), a family of merfolk (like that episode of Family Guy), and a Griffin (lion's head, wings instead of legs, pair of paws where the wings usually are, feathery fan-tail).
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)22:38 No.4076876
    Why not just tell the Thri-Keen it doesn't mean that when mammals do it?
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)23:42 No.4077408
    Make sure you have the Guess Your Weight guy and someone who draw caricatures of the players - have them stuck on a Ferris wheel type thingy and have the one with the highest charisma be taken on a date with an NPC into the Tunnel of Love ... hehehehe

    sounds like fun, and I think this is a great idea not only for flavor change but there could be some great hooks in the traveling carnival - I mean, they go everywhere and see everything - mix some business with their pleasure!
    >> Anonymous 03/24/09(Tue)23:57 No.4077538

    Actually, it's too DERP for me, read it, Christian til I was 12, then I grew up.

    Proud Non-Believer ever sense.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)00:00 No.4077570

    Yes I spelled "sense" that way on purpose........ as in "COMMON SENSE"
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)00:07 No.4077624

    Dude, leave him be. He worships the mythical sky god after all, he's already suffered enough.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)00:11 No.4077673
    I've actually fallen prey to "a ring of tree vicious"...
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)00:12 No.4077681

    Yeah true.........oh well, my bad.
    Back to odd magical items!
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)00:15 No.4077726

    I once bought a Rag of Folding for a small fortune.

    Imagine my disappointment.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)02:09 No.4078515
    Good opportunity to break out the old Second Edition Ravenloft Carnival of Horror boxed set.

    Let's see, we'll need:
    Unhealthy food
    --Something claiming to be Gryphon Sausage.
    --Deep Fried Shocker Lizard

    Stage shows
    --Sword jugglers
    --fire breathers (possibly both, a half dragon juggler?)
    --Lion Tamers

    --Daredevils jumping though hoops of fire. MAybe even daredevils actually locked in a cage with a summoned devil and they must evade his attacks until the spell holding him there ends and he's banished.

    a freakshow.
    GO WILD!
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)02:18 No.4078579
    If they're at least semi-famous? I had a merchant try to sell my players some random artifact that he was hocking as a personal effect of one of the party members. Of course they had no idea what it was, and he had no idea they were the famous heroic adventurers whose reputations he was busy trying to make a buck off of, but a funny little scene ensued while he tried to convince them it was authentic.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)02:18 No.4078583
    wand of create wand
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)02:27 No.4078635
    Taking from an earlier thread, a pea shooter of displacement. Any enemy struck by this pea instantly switches places with the attacker.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)02:28 No.4078640
    Ring of Sanity. Does nothing if sane. If character is insane, restores their sanity, when they speak the code-word.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)02:28 No.4078641
    Kenku puppeteers.

    Extensive use of sound effects.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)02:30 No.4078654

    ... TRANSPORTING pea shooter, I mean. Sorry, I fail.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)02:31 No.4078657
    I see no epic bards anywhere in this. I personally keep an old pc around for when I need a bard. Tinker gnome bard who modified his lute both magically and mechanically. We all agreed that with his stats and consistent perform checks he was capable of playing all of Daft Punks aerodynamic on only his one lute. Have him try to get stories from the pcs. Or have him evil using powers of suggestion to steal from the crowd.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)02:35 No.4078685
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    Alright check it. The carnival has a girl in it who's on the run from the league of assassins that trained her. Then stuff happens.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)02:50 No.4078801
    A tambourine that, when played, sounds like a guitar.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)03:00 No.4078887
    I need me a Sword of Carp Slaying
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)03:03 No.4078914
    A wand of silent still enlarged extended prestidigitation?
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)03:05 No.4078934
    What about a musical instrument that makes illusions based on perform checks? So like, the music itself is the show. Think the holophoner from Futurama.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)03:06 No.4078941
    Have your players already heard the legends of the mighty Head of Vecna?
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)03:15 No.4079000
    >Bag of Beholding.

    Whenever you look in the back you see yourself inside the bag looking out at you. It otherwise functions like a nonmagical bag.
    >> Unholy Clown Ninja Maid Anonymous, tl;dr Xom's Champion !!0aKrfPDoCW4 03/25/09(Wed)03:18 No.4079018
    Universal Stillpoint Rod.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)03:22 No.4079049
    Too useful. They'd use that to reflect gaze attacks and stuff.

    What you want is a bag with two eyes attached to the inside. They don't do anything, they just watch you.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)03:44 No.4079199
    Mirror of Recursive Scrying. When used, the viewer sees himself viewing the mirror. Quite handy for checking up on that bald spot you've been working on.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)09:04 No.4081118
    >> Littlegaunt 03/25/09(Wed)09:20 No.4081230
    There was an epic funny-items thread last year sometime. I will provide copypasta.

    Misshapen Scarlet and Blue Ioun Stone:
    +2 enhancement bonus to Intellegence. However, it has an irregular flight pattern and frequently bumps into the user's head, granting a -4 circumstance penalty to Concentration checks.

    Ring of Half-assed Regeneration:
    As a Ring of Regeneration, except roll a 1d2 at the start of each day and it only works that day on the result of a 2. Even then, it only regenerates 1 HP per hour. Must be worn for at least 24 hours to take effect.

    Blue Bag of Tricks
    As a bag of tricks, but this bag produces according to the following d% table:
    01-30: Carp
    31-60: Trout
    61-75: Catfish
    76-90: Salmon
    91-100: Large Monkfish
    >> Littlegaunt 03/25/09(Wed)09:22 No.4081244
    Boots of Elvenshitwhoopsclangclangstabthud

    Functions as Boots of Elvenkind, until someone says, "I think I heard something." Then they turn to steel and force the wearer to attempt to tap dance. DC 40 Perform (dance) check to remain silent.

    -Wand of Detect Self.
    -Earrings of Detect Alignment (only works if you put your ear directly upon the body of the target - "What are you doing?" "Listening to know if you're evil or not, duh.")
    -Scroll of Wall of Cake - Sor/Wiz 1, Conjuration (Creation), range: short, duration: instant. Creates a 5'x5' cube of cake per two caster levels (maximum 4 at 8th level) in any flavor the caster desires, so long as it is an appropriate flavor for a cake served as a dessert. The cake blocks must be placed adjacent to each other. Each block of cake has 5 hit points and a hardness of 0. The cake is entirely edible, cannot be made poisonous, and remains moist and delicious for two days before becoming stale and gaining hardness 1.
    >> Littlegaunt 03/25/09(Wed)09:26 No.4081271
    enchanted brick of return

    Throw brick at foe, damage based on STR and accuracy of the throw. Brick can be recalled with its return enchantement but has 10% chance of striking the original thrower upon return

    bag of random holding, it is the same as a bag of holding, but whenever you look inside it is empty, you can only take something out by reaching in blindly. also there is a random chance that you pull out a chicken that proceeds to attack you loudly.

    Use as Short Sword +1.
    Needs to be re-inked after every attack.

    Ring of three washes:
    cleans the wearer when the command word is spoken
    Deck of few things:
    produces the same 3 cards over and over again
    Decanter of Endless Waiters:
    All waiting staff within 2D6 miles converge on the user's position
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)09:29 No.4081296
    Handcuffs of Two-Weapon Fighting
    Grants the Two-Weapons Fighting feat while worn and not damaged in any way.
    >> Littlegaunt 03/25/09(Wed)09:33 No.4081323
    Scrolls of Stone to Suede
    Cloak of Tourettes
    Amulet of Sudden Nudity

    Dancing Shoes - Give a +4 to Charisma when worn. If music can be heard user must pass a DC20 Will Save or start dancing (divinely, mind).

    Sword of Death
    If you kill anything with this sword, it dies. (no seriously, that was the description the DM gave)

    The Magical Couch of Following. This standard black leather couch (3 cushions) will teleport after it's owner if they move more then 5 miles from it, regardless of where they have gone. dungeons and other worldly planes included.

    Barrel of Endless Monkeys

    If the lid is removed from this ordinary-looking barrel and a command word spoken, an amount of monkeys or baboons pour out. Separate command words determine the type as well as the volume and velocity.

    * "Stream" pours out 1 creature per round.
    * "Fountain" produces a 5-foot-long stream at 5 creatures per round.
    * "Geyser" produces a 20-foot-long stream at 30 creatures per round.

    The geyser effect causes considerable back pressure, requiring the holder to make a DC 24 Strength check to avoid being knocked down. The force of the geyser deals 4d4 points of damage but can only affect one target per round. The command word must be spoken to stop it.

    Moderate transmutation; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, summon nature's ally; Price 9,000 gp; Weight 20 lb. (1x normal)

    The Layman Configuration. Not to be confused with the Lament Configuration. A decorative puzzle box, upon opening or attempting to solve it, it summons 1d4 invincible commoners that require everything be explained to them in the simplest terms possible. The only way to make them go is to complete the puzzle the correct way.
    >> Littlegaunt 03/25/09(Wed)09:37 No.4081343
    Stuff in Brackets, don't tell the players unless they get a critical success when Identifying
    Card of Call Prostitute
    Bell of Call Cattle
    Red Metal Cylinder of Extinguish Fire
    Whistle of Summon Wolves
    Bag of Bawls Energy Drink
    Can of Whoop-Ass
    Knife of Cutting (Self)
    Spork of Holding
    Book of Reading (While reading this book, your character can read)
    Blue Sphere of Disappointment
    Stick of Poking-It-Until-It-Moves (Make dead things move. Effect wears off after 10 minutes)
    Tooth of Picking (Locks)
    Ring of Balance(d luck)

    Ring of Corpulence.

    The wearer of this ring will instantly gain weight, effectively disguising them as someone much fatter than they are. Their clothes, armor, etc. will expand to fit them, however, they will be rather snug. If the ring is removed, the person returns to normal, however, they will have quite sizable stretchmarks. Also, the ring does not expand to accomidate finger girth, so it may be difficult to remove after putting it on.

    Unstoppable Rod.

    Appears to be an Immovable Rod, but actually moves very slowly in a single direction once activated. It moves at a crawl of only 6 inches per round and will not stop until it is deactivated. May have some benefit in a very specific situation but it's slow movement rate makes anything you do with it tedious.
    >> Littlegaunt 03/25/09(Wed)09:50 No.4081435
    Boots of holding -- when worn, these ordinary-looking boots are found to be approximately 6 inches deeper than they appear. When wearing them, one's feet sink into them, making the wearer comically short. Curiously, this does not affect speed, but characters often have a hard time taking the character seriously. the space inside the boot cannot be used to hold anything that wouldn't fit in a normal boot, and to make wearing of a boot of holding feasable, the items must stack up to make an effective "false bottom" of the boot, much like filling a platform shoe with a hollow platform.

    Rod of Failing

    On command, the rod transforms into a +3 dire flail. However, while the rod is in this form, the holder suffers a -5 penalty to all rolls, including attack and damage.
    Transforming the rod into the flail or back is a move action.
    Moderate enchantment; CL 9th; Craft Rod, Craft Magic Arms and Armor, bless, bestow curse; Price 5,000 gp.

    Politician's Fire
    Functions as Alchemists Fire, but only makes creatures believe they are ablaze. Will save to disbelieve. Objects are unaffected, though appear to be on fire to believers.

    These bangles are made of gold, with shining rubies set into them. Charms and gegaws dangle from them on fine chains. These provide a doubling bonus (the modifier, not the roll) to all skills using the five senses. However, for all damage taken, you recieve double non-lethal damage.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)09:53 No.4081450
    Portals of Disjunction.
    Temporarily randomizes their class upon use. Make the circus a vertical tower, with no stairs, and let them have fun with new powers for a little, before the effect wears off (Say, 1d4 hours, randomize the classes however you want)
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)09:55 No.4081468
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    >Sword of Death
    >If you kill anything with this sword, it dies. (no seriously, that was the description the DM gave)

    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)11:19 No.4082008
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    It's less likely than you'd think. Perhaps it prevents raising them back?
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)11:28 No.4082097
    What's with the tool that posts the "teens are idiots" name? Did /x/ decide to send us their morons or something?
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)11:30 No.4082107
    More like their trolls.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)11:35 No.4082127
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    >>magic enema
    >>shoot bullets

    In after.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)11:36 No.4082132
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    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)11:39 No.4082155
    >As Instant Fortress, except contains 7 dwarven commoners who will do your bidding. Also contains 20 barrels of dwarven ale, 2 picks, a useless manual, and 2 cats.

    >2 cats

    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)11:46 No.4082188
    he's been around well before /x/ got involved, just not often.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)11:48 No.4082199
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)11:57 No.4082261
    That would be pretty cool. A magic sword that when used to kill people prevents any form of resurrection/raising.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)12:02 No.4082297

    "NO MERE BLADE CAN DESTROY ME! I WILL RETURN WITH MORE ANGER THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE AND SMITE YOU WHERE YOU... w-wait. Is that that blade that I keep, uh... keep hearing about? Let's talk about this... no need to make hasty decisions! Wait! WAIT! OH GOD, RUN AWAAAAYYYY!"
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)12:08 No.4082339
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    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)12:38 No.4082538
    Job's family. But it was part of a bet with God, and God said it was OK.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)13:03 No.4082658
    Amulet of Natural Armor - When put on, this amulet causes the wearer's armor to sprout tiny vines. The character's armor class is unaffected.

    Ring of Friend Shield - Teleports a random ally in between the wearer and his attacker.

    Sovereign Glue - As normal, but only functions on members of a royal family.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)13:15 No.4082705
    >Unstoppable Rod.

    >Appears to be an Immovable Rod, but actually moves very slowly in a single direction once activated. It moves at a crawl of only 6 inches per round and will not stop until it is deactivated. May have some benefit in a very specific situation but it's slow movement rate makes anything you do with it tedious.

    Jeez, how much damage would that do if you pinned the BBEG to the (stone) floor with one?!?
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)13:37 No.4082845
    40d6 crushing damage per hour.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)13:45 No.4082907
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    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)13:53 No.4082948
    Used Flying Carpet: A normal flying carpet. Except the cat's pissed on it, right on the gyro-matrix (it's the decoration that looks like a rosebush in the rear-left corner). As a result, stable flight requires weight to be evenly distributed atop the carpet.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)13:53 No.4082953
    Or set it against a castle wall or door and just let it work. Slow, but an easy siege weapon that doesn't need a crew of five to operate.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)14:50 No.4083294
    Lots and lots of thieves.
    Pickpockets, thugs, swindlers, con-men, baby-snatchers. In short: Gypsies.
    They pick up and leave town every week, there's a reason they're not trusted.
    >> Anonymous 03/25/09(Wed)16:27 No.4084084
    Bump because this is a magic Item thread.
    For the traveling carnival, an idea from a German Fantasy book. This carnival became a home for runaways providing for them, but at knight some of the crew would become grotesque goblin-like creatures, pawns of a broken magic mirror. The goblins were driven to look for the missing shards of the mirror, stopping a nothing to get the shards. So the carnival crew, untransformed runaways and the goblins held an uneasy truce during the night.
    The shards of the mirror were powerful magic items, allowing teleporting from normal mirror to mirror, and were used by a stage magician, but also by thieves who would use mirror in rich peoples homes as entry points for their heist.

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