A ring of extra ring finger.

Beware of silly magic items. You'll think that a Ring of Three Fishes may be utterly harmless, but it's a safe bet that whichever player gets it WILL figure out a way to make it useful.

>>4075514
Creativity should be rewarded

Ring of Three Enemy Mindflayers

>>4075529

4% of teens are fucking retarded.

Creativity should definitely be rewarded.

One time in a game I was playing in, someone bought a vial of Celestial urine from a ridiculous items shop. Two sessions later, we were assaulted by some fuckhuge demon and getting our asses kicked, so he hurled the vial at the demon. Vial shatters, demon flees.

Bag of Beholding.

Works as a Bag od Holding, but converts all mundane items into balloon Beholders.

>>4075529
Creativity SHOULD be rewarded, but magic items should only be added to a game with careful thought to avoid handing the players an easy button. Toss in a "silly" item in a haphazard manner, and you may wind up cracking the game wide open.

All I'm saying is that DMs should be careful about it.

Jar of Slugs.

for real.

How about a really old book full of confusing and often times contradicting moral messages. Whenever one of your PC's tries to read it have them roll a percentile die, if they roll 96 or lower the inexplicably decide to live by the book's teachings and will preach to anybody in their immediate vicinity for 1d6 rounds.

I have always liked items with no combat use that are magical, such as, I'm gay for floating lanterns that follow behind you.

One thing I find interesting, have a wierd old man who sells candy. Some of it is magical (Elven fudge that points your ears and gives you +2 diplomacy with people who favor elves, Orc black licorice that points your teeth, mummy marshmallow that lets you eat rotten food like it wasn't spoiled) but it turns out that he's had a Shady past, and has some other "tricks and treats" that you might want your enemies to try…

Daern's Instant Dwarf Fortress

As Instant Fortress, except contains 7 dwarven commoners who will do your bidding. Also contains 20 barrels of dwarven ale, 2 picks, a useless manual, and 2 cats.

Give them a sword of filleting.

Its' special power that any meat it cuts will be a tasty-ass fillet.

Fuck year.

How about a "random magic item".

Give something like 500golds and get a 50/50 chance to get a silly item(A LA ring of three fish, sword of filleting) or a good item(A LA Instant fortress(could be in a snowglobe) or some wacky ass shit like a reality bender)

How about a magic enema that lets you shoot poop bullets?

>>4075654
>hurr bible

>>4075698
Poop humor? Really?

I actually honestly recommend reading the bible. Some of the stuff god does is hilariously evil. The book of Job is a good place to start.

>>4075774

>>4075709
What's the matter? Too DEEP for you?

Give magical properties to items that dont need them. Think of all the fun you could have it a bunch of items with returning or phasing on them...
Hat of Returning (toss the hat and watch it land back on your head!)
Platnum Coin of Phasing (anything non-metal or stone passes right through it, watch passers-by try and pick it up!)

Have the male NPCs secretly buy dresses of random phasing for the ladies in the group. When worn they randomly phase... falling right off the wearer.

>>4075774
i liked it when he smote that one guy for pulling out

made me lol

>>4075793
what 10 did satan kill?

>>4075863

My personal favorite was when he descended to earth in disguise, walked up to a stranger and and asked to be struck.

When the guy refused God summoned a lion to eat the poor bastard.

Interesting NPCs... hmm..

The Little Wonders acrobat troupe. Sixteen professional acrobats of Gnomic and Halfling origin, masquerading as human and elf children. Also a gang of pickpockets, who operate without the knowledge of the managers.

An amazing Thri-keen juggler named Ke'te'te'ke'ke. Must be deafened before every display because the sound of applause can easily be mistaken for the Thri-keen phrase 'Your brood-mother is a mammal'.

A freakshow which includes:a fleshy gargoyle (victim of an epic-level stone-to-flesh spell), a Wormusa (like a Medusa, but with worms instead of snakes, eats mud voraciously), and bunch of common mythological creatures with the parts reversed, such as a Centaur (a horse-and-frontlegs atop a human body), a minotaur (looks like a quadrupedal human, eats grass, doesn't speak), a family of merfolk (like that episode of Family Guy), and a Griffin (lion's head, wings instead of legs, pair of paws where the wings usually are, feathery fan-tail).

>>4076069
Why not just tell the Thri-Keen it doesn't mean that when mammals do it?

Make sure you have the Guess Your Weight guy and someone who draw caricatures of the players - have them stuck on a Ferris wheel type thingy and have the one with the highest charisma be taken on a date with an NPC into the Tunnel of Love ... hehehehe

sounds like fun, and I think this is a great idea not only for flavor change but there could be some great hooks in the traveling carnival - I mean, they go everywhere and see everything - mix some business with their pleasure!

>4075797

Actually, it's too DERP for me, read it, Christian til I was 12, then I grew up.

Proud Non-Believer ever sense.

>4077538

Yes I spelled "sense" that way on purpose........ as in "COMMON SENSE"

>>4077538

Dude, leave him be. He worships the mythical sky god after all, he's already suffered enough.

I've actually fallen prey to "a ring of tree vicious"...

>>4077624

Yeah true.........oh well, my bad.
Back to odd magical items!

>>4077673

I once bought a Rag of Folding for a small fortune.

Imagine my disappointment.

Good opportunity to break out the old Second Edition Ravenloft Carnival of Horror boxed set.

Let's see, we'll need:
Unhealthy food
--Something claiming to be Gryphon Sausage.
--Deep Fried Shocker Lizard

Stage shows
--Sword jugglers
--fire breathers (possibly both, a half dragon juggler?)
--Lion Tamers
--Dancers
--Pickpockets

Acrobats
--Daredevils jumping though hoops of fire. MAybe even daredevils actually locked in a cage with a summoned devil and they must evade his attacks until the spell holding him there ends and he's banished.

a freakshow.
GO WILD!

If they're at least semi-famous? I had a merchant try to sell my players some random artifact that he was hocking as a personal effect of one of the party members. Of course they had no idea what it was, and he had no idea they were the famous heroic adventurers whose reputations he was busy trying to make a buck off of, but a funny little scene ensued while he tried to convince them it was authentic.

wand of create wand

Taking from an earlier thread, a pea shooter of displacement. Any enemy struck by this pea instantly switches places with the attacker.

Ring of Sanity. Does nothing if sane. If character is insane, restores their sanity, when they speak the code-word.

Kenku puppeteers.

Extensive use of sound effects.

>>4078635

... TRANSPORTING pea shooter, I mean. Sorry, I fail.

I see no epic bards anywhere in this. I personally keep an old pc around for when I need a bard. Tinker gnome bard who modified his lute both magically and mechanically. We all agreed that with his stats and consistent perform checks he was capable of playing all of Daft Punks aerodynamic on only his one lute. Have him try to get stories from the pcs. Or have him evil using powers of suggestion to steal from the crowd.

Alright check it. The carnival has a girl in it who's on the run from the league of assassins that trained her. Then stuff happens.

A tambourine that, when played, sounds like a guitar.

>>4075670
I need me a Sword of Carp Slaying

A wand of silent still enlarged extended prestidigitation?

What about a musical instrument that makes illusions based on perform checks? So like, the music itself is the show. Think the holophoner from Futurama.

Have your players already heard the legends of the mighty Head of Vecna?

>>4075613
>Bag of Beholding.

Whenever you look in the back you see yourself inside the bag looking out at you. It otherwise functions like a nonmagical bag.

Universal Stillpoint Rod.

>>4079000
Too useful. They'd use that to reflect gaze attacks and stuff.

What you want is a bag with two eyes attached to the inside. They don't do anything, they just watch you.

>>4079049
Mirror of Recursive Scrying. When used, the viewer sees himself viewing the mirror. Quite handy for checking up on that bald spot you've been working on.

bump

There was an epic funny-items thread last year sometime. I will provide copypasta.

Misshapen Scarlet and Blue Ioun Stone:
+2 enhancement bonus to Intellegence. However, it has an irregular flight pattern and frequently bumps into the user's head, granting a -4 circumstance penalty to Concentration checks.

Ring of Half-assed Regeneration:
As a Ring of Regeneration, except roll a 1d2 at the start of each day and it only works that day on the result of a 2. Even then, it only regenerates 1 HP per hour. Must be worn for at least 24 hours to take effect.

Blue Bag of Tricks
As a bag of tricks, but this bag produces according to the following d% table:
01-30: Carp
31-60: Trout
61-75: Catfish
76-90: Salmon
91-100: Large Monkfish

Boots of Elvenshitwhoopsclangclangstabthud

Functions as Boots of Elvenkind, until someone says, "I think I heard something." Then they turn to steel and force the wearer to attempt to tap dance. DC 40 Perform (dance) check to remain silent.

-Wand of Detect Self.
-Earrings of Detect Alignment (only works if you put your ear directly upon the body of the target - "What are you doing?" "Listening to know if you're evil or not, duh.")
-Scroll of Wall of Cake - Sor/Wiz 1, Conjuration (Creation), range: short, duration: instant. Creates a 5'x5' cube of cake per two caster levels (maximum 4 at 8th level) in any flavor the caster desires, so long as it is an appropriate flavor for a cake served as a dessert. The cake blocks must be placed adjacent to each other. Each block of cake has 5 hit points and a hardness of 0. The cake is entirely edible, cannot be made poisonous, and remains moist and delicious for two days before becoming stale and gaining hardness 1.

enchanted brick of return

Throw brick at foe, damage based on STR and accuracy of the throw. Brick can be recalled with its return enchantement but has 10% chance of striking the original thrower upon return

bag of random holding, it is the same as a bag of holding, but whenever you look inside it is empty, you can only take something out by reaching in blindly. also there is a random chance that you pull out a chicken that proceeds to attack you loudly.

Pen.
Use as Short Sword +1.
Needs to be re-inked after every attack.

Ring of three washes:
cleans the wearer when the command word is spoken
Deck of few things:
produces the same 3 cards over and over again
Decanter of Endless Waiters:
All waiting staff within 2D6 miles converge on the user's position

Handcuffs of Two-Weapon Fighting
Grants the Two-Weapons Fighting feat while worn and not damaged in any way.

Scrolls of Stone to Suede
Cloak of Tourettes
Amulet of Sudden Nudity

Dancing Shoes - Give a +4 to Charisma when worn. If music can be heard user must pass a DC20 Will Save or start dancing (divinely, mind).

Sword of Death
If you kill anything with this sword, it dies. (no seriously, that was the description the DM gave)

The Magical Couch of Following. This standard black leather couch (3 cushions) will teleport after it's owner if they move more then 5 miles from it, regardless of where they have gone. dungeons and other worldly planes included.

Barrel of Endless Monkeys

If the lid is removed from this ordinary-looking barrel and a command word spoken, an amount of monkeys or baboons pour out. Separate command words determine the type as well as the volume and velocity.

* "Stream" pours out 1 creature per round.
* "Fountain" produces a 5-foot-long stream at 5 creatures per round.
* "Geyser" produces a 20-foot-long stream at 30 creatures per round.

The geyser effect causes considerable back pressure, requiring the holder to make a DC 24 Strength check to avoid being knocked down. The force of the geyser deals 4d4 points of damage but can only affect one target per round. The command word must be spoken to stop it.

Moderate transmutation; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, summon nature's ally; Price 9,000 gp; Weight 20 lb. (1x normal)


The Layman Configuration. Not to be confused with the Lament Configuration. A decorative puzzle box, upon opening or attempting to solve it, it summons 1d4 invincible commoners that require everything be explained to them in the simplest terms possible. The only way to make them go is to complete the puzzle the correct way.

Stuff in Brackets, don't tell the players unless they get a critical success when Identifying
Card of Call Prostitute
Bell of Call Cattle
Red Metal Cylinder of Extinguish Fire
Whistle of Summon Wolves
Bag of Bawls Energy Drink
Can of Whoop-Ass
Knife of Cutting (Self)
Spork of Holding
Book of Reading (While reading this book, your character can read)
Blue Sphere of Disappointment
Stick of Poking-It-Until-It-Moves (Make dead things move. Effect wears off after 10 minutes)
Tooth of Picking (Locks)
Ring of Balance(d luck)

Ring of Corpulence.

The wearer of this ring will instantly gain weight, effectively disguising them as someone much fatter than they are. Their clothes, armor, etc. will expand to fit them, however, they will be rather snug. If the ring is removed, the person returns to normal, however, they will have quite sizable stretchmarks. Also, the ring does not expand to accomidate finger girth, so it may be difficult to remove after putting it on.

Unstoppable Rod.

Appears to be an Immovable Rod, but actually moves very slowly in a single direction once activated. It moves at a crawl of only 6 inches per round and will not stop until it is deactivated. May have some benefit in a very specific situation but it's slow movement rate makes anything you do with it tedious.

Boots of holding -- when worn, these ordinary-looking boots are found to be approximately 6 inches deeper than they appear. When wearing them, one's feet sink into them, making the wearer comically short. Curiously, this does not affect speed, but characters often have a hard time taking the character seriously. the space inside the boot cannot be used to hold anything that wouldn't fit in a normal boot, and to make wearing of a boot of holding feasable, the items must stack up to make an effective "false bottom" of the boot, much like filling a platform shoe with a hollow platform.

Rod of Failing

On command, the rod transforms into a +3 dire flail. However, while the rod is in this form, the holder suffers a -5 penalty to all rolls, including attack and damage.
Transforming the rod into the flail or back is a move action.
Moderate enchantment; CL 9th; Craft Rod, Craft Magic Arms and Armor, bless, bestow curse; Price 5,000 gp.

Politician's Fire
Functions as Alchemists Fire, but only makes creatures believe they are ablaze. Will save to disbelieve. Objects are unaffected, though appear to be on fire to believers.

BANGLES OF INTENSE SENSATION
These bangles are made of gold, with shining rubies set into them. Charms and gegaws dangle from them on fine chains. These provide a doubling bonus (the modifier, not the roll) to all skills using the five senses. However, for all damage taken, you recieve double non-lethal damage.

Portals of Disjunction.
Temporarily randomizes their class upon use. Make the circus a vertical tower, with no stairs, and let them have fun with new powers for a little, before the effect wears off (Say, 1d4 hours, randomize the classes however you want)

>>4081323
>Sword of Death
>If you kill anything with this sword, it dies. (no seriously, that was the description the DM gave)

wel...

>>4081468
It's less likely than you'd think. Perhaps it prevents raising them back?

What's with the tool that posts the "teens are idiots" name? Did /x/ decide to send us their morons or something?

>>4082097
More like their trolls.

>>4075698
>>magic enema
>>shoot bullets

In after.

>>4081468

>>4075670
>As Instant Fortress, except contains 7 dwarven commoners who will do your bidding. Also contains 20 barrels of dwarven ale, 2 picks, a useless manual, and 2 cats.

>2 cats

DO NOT USE THIS ITEM

>>4082097
>>4082107
he's been around well before /x/ got involved, just not often.

>>4079018
*CLANG*

>>4082008
That would be pretty cool. A magic sword that when used to kill people prevents any form of resurrection/raising.

>>4082261

"NO MERE BLADE CAN DESTROY ME! I WILL RETURN WITH MORE ANGER THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE AND SMITE YOU WHERE YOU... w-wait. Is that that blade that I keep, uh... keep hearing about? Let's talk about this... no need to make hasty decisions! Wait! WAIT! OH GOD, RUN AWAAAAYYYY!"

>>4082199
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!?!

>>4075888
Job's family. But it was part of a bet with God, and God said it was OK.

Amulet of Natural Armor - When put on, this amulet causes the wearer's armor to sprout tiny vines. The character's armor class is unaffected.

Ring of Friend Shield - Teleports a random ally in between the wearer and his attacker.

Sovereign Glue - As normal, but only functions on members of a royal family.

>Unstoppable Rod.

>Appears to be an Immovable Rod, but actually moves very slowly in a single direction once activated. It moves at a crawl of only 6 inches per round and will not stop until it is deactivated. May have some benefit in a very specific situation but it's slow movement rate makes anything you do with it tedious.

Jeez, how much damage would that do if you pinned the BBEG to the (stone) floor with one?!?

>>4082705
40d6 crushing damage per hour.

>>4079199

Used Flying Carpet: A normal flying carpet. Except the cat's pissed on it, right on the gyro-matrix (it's the decoration that looks like a rosebush in the rear-left corner). As a result, stable flight requires weight to be evenly distributed atop the carpet.

>>4082705
Or set it against a castle wall or door and just let it work. Slow, but an easy siege weapon that doesn't need a crew of five to operate.

Lots and lots of thieves.
Pickpockets, thugs, swindlers, con-men, baby-snatchers. In short: Gypsies.
They pick up and leave town every week, there's a reason they're not trusted.

Bump because this is a magic Item thread.
For the traveling carnival, an idea from a German Fantasy book. This carnival became a home for runaways providing for them, but at knight some of the crew would become grotesque goblin-like creatures, pawns of a broken magic mirror. The goblins were driven to look for the missing shards of the mirror, stopping a nothing to get the shards. So the carnival crew, untransformed runaways and the goblins held an uneasy truce during the night.
The shards of the mirror were powerful magic items, allowing teleporting from normal mirror to mirror, and were used by a stage magician, but also by thieves who would use mirror in rich peoples homes as entry points for their heist.