Ah, this spell, it is very ICE-STORM

Say hello to my little friend (any summoning spell, such as mount)
I hope you left enough room for my fist, because i'm going to ram it into your stomache! (tensers transformation)
Take a look at my ROCK HARD ABS! (stoneskin)
You see this rope? I'm going to shove it STRAIGHT THROUGH THE UNIVERSE! (rope trick)

Any Cold based spell + any one liner from Batman & Robin = profit

You must speak in a heavy Austrian accent at all times. To wit:
Summon M1: "Ai'm Sarry to Badger you!" (always badgers, all the time)
Shocking grasp: "Shocking, isn't it?"
Color Spray: "You're looking pale, this'll gihve you sam Cahlor!"

>>4050822

>>4050856
o god I lawled

This is the best character concept ever.

>>4050856
god dammit i lolled

Enlarge person: "Ah'm going to pamp... *claps* ...you Ap!"
Flaming Sphere:"Ah must be on faer, Cauz Ai'm on a rohl!"
Scorching Ray:"This wans a bit of a Scorchar!"
Blur:"This cahmbat, it's a bit of a Blur!"

>>4050856
So horrible, and yet I still laughed.

I'm shit at puns, but I'd suggest trying to get two or three per spell, and more if you plan to use a spell a lot. Lots of varied puns is fine. The same puns over and over again... Oh, wait, you want to do something which'll get you stabbed? Repeat puns as often as possible.

Explosive runes: "This one's a great read, I'm sure you'll have a blast!"
Knock:"I'll open the door, all I have to do is Knock."
Prot. From energy:"It's good your full of energy, I brought some protection!"
Dispel magic: "You thought that magic was clever? Then check out Dis Spell!"

>>4050945
The Knock joke works better when you DEMOLISH a door.

"KNOCK KNOCK!"

>>4050968
Op here: I might be able to. I'm trying to make this the strongest wizard imaginable. A Mr. Cosmos, if you will.

I did this with a d20 future character that I rolled 18 Str, 18 Con and 6 Wis for. Shit was indeed so cash. He carried at least three guns with him wherever he went; by the end of the game after looting old imperial ships (he was obsessed with restoring a dead high tech militaristic empire) he was carrying around the equivilant of a melta rocket launcher, melta gun, plasma gun, grenade launcher, and necron guass blaster.

He once got crushed delivering the final blow against a giant robot dragon (a corporate mascot); as the huge bulk fell towards him, he said "Thanks a TON" before being squashed. Amazingly, he survived. When he clambered out of the wreckage half an hour later, one of the other PCs asked how the hell he'd managed to survive getting out the wreckage. His response:

"It was heavy going"

>>4050945
>Dispel magic: "You thought that magic was clever? Then check out Dis Spell!"

Remember that thread several weeks back when the guy rolled all 18s for his D&D character in front of the GM? This is what he should have made.

>>4051038
>You could say....*glasses*...it was HEAVY GOING.

Take the Lost Tradition feat, get Str Magic

C'mon, no ones going to do it
sigh
"This ones to die for"
Death magic..

See you later...
Alligator

Then get one of the party to be eaten by invisible alligator

I hope i don't Boar you
Summon Boar

>>4050782

...

Ok, you suck, just leave /tg/ and never return.

>>4050968
No, religion jokes. Use a massive evocation spell to blow someone's door apart. Walk through the rubble "Have you accepted the Lord Drz'zt Christ as your savior?"

My gawd /tg/ my gawd these puns are horrible...
I feel bad for whomever is playing with OP.

Ray of Frost: "Ice to meet you!" or "Have an ice day!"

You say Jump? I say, how high? (Jump)
I'm going to reach out and Touch someone. (Too many spells to mention)
Gone already? We were DUST getting started. (Disintegrate)
I could tell you all about this item, but I wouldn't want to LORE you (Identify, Legend Lore)

Didn't locate city nuke make use of some cold damage thing?

What killed the dinosaurs? THE ICE AGE!

>>4051382
>>4050782
Not funny. Please stop.

>>4050748
>missle

IT'S MISSILE YOU FUCKING ILLITERATE JACKASS

I think that this summary of Batman & Robin is a good example of dialogue you should aim for. You should find all cold based energy attacks covered by Mr Freeze.

Why don't you... CHILL?!
It's a COLD town.
etc

Be seeing you! - Scrying

>>4051408
Meant to include this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJWpmPGCR1c

This ALMOST makes me want to play 3.5 again.

Almost.

Polymorph; You hit like a GIRL!
After using mace; You look HAMMERED!
Rocks Fall, enemy dies; Ha!... a CRUSHING defeat!

I'll be back!
-When you die.

>>4051528
Polymorph: I'll be black!

Any sort of duplication spell:

"You think this is the real Quaid? ... You're right!"

(Not a pun per se, but my favorite line from "Total Recall.")

Keen edge: "I wahnt you to meet Stabby, he's ahwfully Keen!"
Water Breathing:" I wouldn't wahnt to leave you breathless."
Dimensional Anchor:"It looks lihke you need some Anchor management!"
Remove curse:"Their's no need to Curse."
Stoneskin:"Youh need to be thickskinned in this business."
Arcane eye:"Eye see you!"
Nondetection:"They cannot see us. There's no need to scry!"

>>4051510
>After using mace; You look HAMMERED!

wouldn't it be after using a hammer?

>>4051701
More like

Any duplication spell:
"IM A CLOHHNBABY, JAUHHHJHH!"

In his Lair, he turns the walls to ice revealing his opponent's position. "Ice to see you!"

ARCHIVE

THIS

>>4050945
>>4051140
>>4051703
These are all correct.
Just sayin.

GET TO DA CHOPPA (fly)

Need a break?

OR DID I JUST GIVE YOU ONE?

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bears Endurance: "Now I'm Over-bear-ing!"
MASS Bear's endurance: "You'll just have to bear with me!"
Phantasmal Killer:"You look like you just saw a ghost!"
Hold Person:"I'm afraid I'll have to put you on hold!"

Forceful hand:"It looks like you've forced my hand!"
Planar Binding:"Looks like you're in a bit of a bind!"(Also works for animate rope)
Chain lightning:"I know that it's shocking, but it's going around."
Move Earth:"Did the earth move for you too?"

[spoiler]It's NOT A TOOHUMA. [/spoiler]

[spoilers]oh god i screwed up again[/spoilers]

>>4051912
>>4051916
spoilers dont work in /tg/

>>4051912
>>4051916
DOUBLE FAIL

>>4051759
This MUST be archived.

>>4051946
MULTI-FAIL!
MEGA-FAIL!
M-M-M-MONSTER FAIL-Fail-failfail

Plane Shift: "Sorry to leave, I have to catch a Plane."
Anti-magic field: "You say you're a powerful caster, but I think you're in Denial!"
Delayed Blast Fireball:" Just hold still, it'll be a blast!"
Flesh to Stone: "The monk wants to hit you, but I just want to Statue!"
Stone skin:"It's time to Rock and Roll!"

ARCHIVE COMPLETE

Op here.
Wow. I didn't know TG liked puns so much.

Come to think of it, Maybe I should have made a pun of of pun pun, but I can't think of a good pun pun pun.

"Hold it"
Any hold or restrict spell

>>4052093
STOP BEING A BABY!

Slow: "Hey, why the hurry?"

"Time to go in through the out door"
Dimension Door

>>4052096
Hes too basy governing Caly Funia.

Crushing hand:"When I play my hand, don't be too crushed!"
Enervation: "Say, you're looking a little drained!"
Meteor Swarm:"That last one wasn't enough? This one's a little Meteor!"
Disjunction:" Your weapons will be useless at Disjunction!"
Create Greater Undead:"I think I'll have to Shadow you."
Create Undead:"After I cast this, you'll be A Ghast!"
Animate Dead:"You need to fill out, you're just a skeleton!"

Too much Mr Freeze. Have some fire puns.

"I'm on fire today... now you are too!"

"Here's some HOT STUFF coming through."

"They say It's better to burn out then fade away"

Remove Fear: "You lack discipline!"

Resilient Sphere:"Dohn't warry, whe're safe in sphere!"

So, does Sup/tg/ automatically append the new stuff, or what?

>>4052278
Yes. It updates on regular intervals.

>>4052278

it autochecks every two hours, but typically for really good threads, people refresh it manually.

This basically just means adding the thread number (the post-number of the OP) to the relevant box and throwing whatever in the other boxes, since they don't matter, and hitting Submit..

"You're looking a bit hot under the collar"

Any telekinesis thing: "Look, ma, no hands!"

>>4052193
I have a sudden urge to choke you.

Animate Dead: "This one's a thrilla!"

>>4052369
As I understand, that is the correct response they should elicit.

"This fight's getting un-BEAR-able" Summon Creature (Bear)

>>4052383

WIN.

"No need to make a stink out of this"
Stinking Cloud

"what a load of bull"
-bulls strength

What level will you be starting at? I would rather come up with god awful puns for the spells you can cast right now, as opposed for a killer one for Meteor Swarm.

>>4052751
OP here: Not sure, but I doubt if I'll be able to go higher than 4th or so to begin with. It promises to be kind of long-term, though, so anything is appreciated.
Also, I like puns.

>>This thread

ಠ_ಠ

The Bigby's spells - "Hey, let's shake on it" "Need a hand?" "High five" "I don't think you grasp the situation at hand"

vampiric touch - "this is gonna SUCK for you"

why is the op the only one capable of making puns, its supposed to be puns not psuedo witty bullshit.l

>>4053527

because we aren't the eloquen/tg/entelmen we think we are?

Do not die, I need more of this.