previous thread: >>4045445

>>4046909
Oh hai. Let's get you back to your bitch. She wants to discuss about your relationship and have you meet her parents.

>>4046909
Tell him to pack his things, we're going back. It's almost time for another session with the elf queen.

>>4046909
"Time for elf dickings. Let's get outta here."

>>4046937
>>4046925
Do we even have a way back?

>>4046909
Since this job's pretty much done, how about cutting to Mado and Nevada and their date?

quest thread

"Yo. We need to get the fuck out, your wife is fukkin' pissed."

>>4046941
Like that'll stop us.

WE'LL CLEAVE THIS SHADOW DIMENSION ASUNDER! OUR AXE HAS LAID LOW A GOD, WE CAN SURELY ESCAPE THIS HELL!

>>4046953
Your opinion has been noted. We'll understand if you don't want to stick around.

>>4046925
>>4046937
>>4046938
>"Let's get out of here."

>>4046967
Can't you like, transport in and out of here at will?

>>4046967
Tell him he worries too much about the details.

>>4046967
FFFFFFFFFF--

Sataaan? Teleport back plz?

>>4046967
Either queen or Satan. Both have the power, and both would like to see Garrelf back.

Assuming Garrelf himself can't leave, which I find absurd, considering his history with this place.

>>4046971
"What are you talking about?"

>>4046967

Call satan!

Ask Garelf if it's him over there playing cards, and who the hell's that face who keeps smiling.

summon your might dorfen rage and CLEAVE THE SHADOW REALM ASUNDER!

"Yoh, Satan, could you send us to the bitch so this crap is done and over with?"

I think you have to lose to the mysterious man in a child's card game.

In the material plane, that banishes you to the shadow realm, obviously it works the other way too.

>>4047006
Hm. Worth a try.
What's the worst that could happen? banishment to the Darkshadow?

>>4046975
>>4046990
>>4046997
>Call for Satan!

There is no answer.

>>4047019

Why the big smile, Garrelf?

>>4047023
Bcause it's not Garrelf. It's that smiling faggot floating around.

>>4047019
Goddamnit, we should have gone with Verizon.

Reach down into the shadows, open the convenient trap door into the service corridors.

>>4047023
He's being a smartass again.

Kick Garrelf.

Then call for Xom.

>>4047023
Not garrelf, clearly.

>>4047019

Possible fake Garelf.

Prove yourself!

DRINKING CONTEST!

>>4047019
Ask what's so funny.

>>4047019
Turn around and tell NOTGARRELF to quit fucking with us.
Very loudly.
With your fists.

Even if it is Garrelf, let's just kick him anyway. He's being a smug asshole.

>>4047019

Stare. Point dramatically. " How did you die?" Get axe out.

Punch him, wheter or not he is Garrelf, just on the principle that he's being a dick with that smile.

>>4047069
>>4047047
SWING AXE, CAST THREE BREATH!

>>4047069
This seems to be the best course of action.

Inb4 pause screen, that's all for tonight.

Inventory check! There must be SOMETHING there that can get as out. Gnome won't leave us trapped here right?

Right?

>Gnome won't leave us trapped here right?

Just keep telling yourself that.

>>4047096
Here's an idea: Wait out the two days. Let the queen get in here and drag us both out, kicking and screaming.

>>4047023
"I d-don't know what you're t-t-t-t-tt-t-t-t-t-t-tt-t-t-t-t----"

[sorry for the wait, was animooting]

>>4047096

Something tells me that maybe we ought'nt to've killed a god and bossed about Satan. Who we asked for a favor. And teleported us here. Without us asking for a way back. And who may or may not want us dead because we scare the daylights out of him.

>>4047113
>summon your might dorfen rage and CLEAVE THE SHADOW REALM ASUNDER!

>>4047113
looks awkward; sped up a bit - might help.

>>4047113

...Okay, fuck this noise. Deforest this portion of reality until you get what you want, consequnces to the fabric of time and space be damned!

>>4047127
I'll second that. But try not to hit something... important. If there IS anything important here...

>>4047113

Post starts with 404 and ends with 113. Even God's number in the middle can't balance that shit out. That's some prime motherfucking evil in that post.

AXE ATTACK 360 DEGREES, COUNTERCLOCKWISE, STARTING FROM WHERE THE ILLUSION WAS.

Realm of shadows people. Expect that which isn't really there.

>>4047113
Deforest him. Then try to gain the attention of the other Garrelf.

>>4047120

Nah man. Satan's cool. We're BFFs! That's why we screw each other over most of the time. We'll get a good laugh at our drinking session with him later.

>>4047113

Kill it. Knock it's teeth off.

>>4047135

BB: SEPULCHRITUDE

FUCK THIS "ILLUSION" NOISE
KILL IT
KILL THE ENTIRE SHADOW REALM
KILL IT TO DEATH.

Beardbeard wakes up - someone seems to be scolding their cat.

>>4047143

That's a hologram too. This place is meant to drive us insane from paranoia. Nothing is real unless it proves itself to our satisfaction.

>>4047160
A FUCKING CAT! KILL IT BEFORE IT BREEDS!

>>4047160
>cat

Oh god, how did we miss this?

>>4047160

MOTHERFUCKING CHESHIRE CAT.

>>4047160
Ask "Garrelf, is that you"? If he says yes - Punch him in the stomach.

>>4047178
>>4047160
If he says no, punch him in the groin.

>>4047161
>>4047160

True.

A DRINKING CONTEST would prove their reality and trustworthiness though. So invite the guy for a drink, explain situation etc.

>>4047178
"...Garrelf? My name is Presley. Sorry about my cat - he likes to play tricks on newcomers."

>>4047197
"Right, no harm done. Could you direct us to this Shadar-Kai elven king asshole named Garrelf?"

>>4047197
Great and he has no idea who Garrelf is.

>>4047197
Protip: Not all Shadar-kai are Garrelf.

>>4047160
CAT?! Sounds like it's time for some *Cat Meat Roast*.

>>4047204

This.

>>4047204
>>4047207
"...I have no idea who that is."

>>4047197
Ask him to show us to other recent arrivals, tell him we are looking for someone.

>>4047231
Ask him where the big card game is going down then.

>>4047231

"Fuck. Okay, pretty boy that's probably just arrived?

>>4047235
THIS. Ask about the card game. If he says there's no card game say you're starting to get pissed off. Also, ask him if he likes ALE.

Hell, one gloomy shadar-kai is as good as another.

>>4047235
You meta-gamer you.

>>4047233
"Newcomers usually have to go up against Yami - he likes picking on the new guys. I'll lead you there... on one condition!"

He pulls out a guitar. "You have to hear this new song I wrote!"

>>4047267
No, we saw him playing a card game! It's a fair question to ask!

>>4047267
Tell him that we will LISTEN TO HIS SONG!

>>4047267
Hear the song. How bad could it be?

>>4047267
CHALLENGE HIM TO A ROCK OFF.

>>4047267
Listen to his song and try to sing along with all your dorfen might.

>>4047267

Screw it. You've killed a god, what's a song compared to that? Plus you could always just block it out like like every other conversation.

>>4047267
Ask him to play "Hey You, Hey Me" and replace the word you with ale.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZBUb0ElnNY&feature=PlayList&p=FC84E9C0D5EB128B&index=6

He plays his song! It does not tickle your fine dorfen sensibilities in the slightest.

>>4047267

let us LISTEN TO HIS SONG.

Also. HEADBANG and ROCK OFF!

>>4047299
Take that guitar and show him a REAL song.

>>4047299
Now have him lead to that guy who could possibly lead us to Garrelf.

>>4047299
Fuck it, you're a DORF. You can survive some frilly little love song. Stand there and listen.

>>4047299

Throw something blunt at him to shut him up.

Real dorfs listen to manly music, like polka.

>>4047299

Ask for a copy of a note sheet with the lyrics, just for the hell of it. Then proceed to follow him to the card game.

>>4047325

And lose our ticket to Garrelf? Fuck that.

>>4047299

It's not very dorfy but just smile your fake dorfish smile and move on. It does not pay to antagonize him. Yet.

>>4047335

And losing a ticket to listen what?

Horribly unmanly music?

How about we sing the traditional GOLD GOLD GOLD for him.

To.

Pay.

Him.

Back.

>>4047310
>>4047313
You suffer through it, but survive. Presley agrees to lead you to Yami.

...well that was quick.

Ok, ask this new punk where Garrelf is!

Ask yami if hes seen gar elf.

>>4047356
Yami was playing card with Garrelf, wasn't it? This should be pretty easy from now on.

inb4 card challenge

>>4047299

>>4047377
Garrelf is a GAR elf.

>>4047356

It's..

DORF TIME!

>>4047356
This is too easy.

Prepare for horrible horrible complications.

>>4047356
Do as our friend before us did. Except ask about Garrelf.

Let shine the inner sunbeard to dispel the shadows

>>4047373

Tell Presley to follow us.

>>4047407
RIP HIS CARDS! DO IT!

>>4047407

Break couple bones if he refuses to cooperate.

Or even better, challenge him to drinking contest and which we know how it ends. That punk dies to alcohol poisoning.

>>4047407
"Um... You're holding him. He lost in the shadow game against me, yeah, and now he's trapped inside the puzzle!"

>>4047439
Oh, oops. This was supposed to link to: >>4047391

>>4047431
>CONTEST
>YAMI

NO NO NO NO NO FUCK. NO.

Yami's not just good at cardgames, bro. If it's even loosely a game, woebedite his opponent. Outright combat is our best bet.

>>4047439

Tell him to get him out of there or he won't have fingers to play games with.

Break them like crackers if you have to, one steady grip then..

>>4047439
...Well, I guess if the queen sticks the pyramid in her vagina that would still count as having sex with him. Steal the pyramid!

>>4047439
"Well shit. Too bad for you, laddie."

Beat the asshole to pulp. Force him to break the puzzle and let Garrelf go. SCREW LOGICAL PUZZLE GAMES FOR GARRELF'S SOUL, VIOLENCE IS THE ANSWER.

>>4047439

EAT THE GOLD PUZZLE PYRAMID

DO IT

>>4047439
Eat the puzzle piece.

...No wait, demand that he be released instead.

>>4047450

Trust me, it's about DRINKING contest. Dorfs are mostly alcohol, didn't you know that?

He will be able to drink that pipsqueak under the table in no time.

>>4047450
Drinking is still a game he can't win against a dorf. Ale, axe, beard, pride and all that.

>>4047450
If hes in the shadow realm then it has to be shitty yami not the good one. But anyway...

Rip off his puzzle piece.

>>4047439
Okay!

For you dudes who HAVEN'T read the original mango, Yami didn't just play card games, he usually came up with something suitable...

Like this dude that subjected people to fucking horrible kareoke, he had him in a silence contest... stuff like that.

>>4047439

KING OF GAMES

CAN YOU HOLD YOUR ALCOHOL?!

DRINKING CONTEST!!!!

DEMOLISH THAT UNDERAGEB&

Garrelf lost to this faggot.

GARRELF.

WHO IS MORE POWERFUL THAN US.

>>4047457

I'm liking this.

>>4047473

This is viable too.

>>4047457
"Ahhh, no, that doesn't work! You can only get a soul out of the puzzle if you win in a contest against me!"

>>4047478

Like said, drinking contest is entirely different thing.

It's dorfiness vs pansyassness this time.

>>4047495
DRINKIN CONTEST!

>>4047495

Rip out his liver and commence the drinking contest.

Get a five before he does.

>>4047478
Yeah, and the games either sucked balls or were skewed in his favor. If we pick drinking, we'll win.

>>4047495
Ok. Drinking contest it is. Tell him to get the booze ready.

>>4047495
Then let's have a contest with him. Make him rig it so that we'll win no matter what.

Else we'll just continue beating him.

>>4047495
"I'll Ro-Sham-Bo you for it." *crotch kick!*

>>4047511
NO. WE READY THE FUCKING BOOZE.
As >>4047509
put it, he's a FUCKING CHEATER.

Get Nemelex down in this town

>>4047511

Hell no, that wimp would cheat anyway.

Get the biggest barrel of dorf made booze.

>>4047520
>NEMELEX
AAAAALDWIIIIIIN

CAN WE BEAT THE KING OF GETS?

actually we kinda already are...

>>4047519
Exactly. If this is the dickish Yami from the manga, the beer will be poison or something, and he'll win by default once we swallow a barrel full of poison ale.

>>4047495
Poor Yami. I almost feel pity for him.

Yeah, let's have a drinking contest with him. Rig the game so that he'll lose.

>>4047506
>>4047507
>>4047511
DRINKING CONTEST.

>>4047520
Even though Xom and Nemelex are probably close enough - why would he help us?

Take puzzle piece and put it on yourself.

>>4047538
YES

START DRINKING!

>>4047535
Our mutations granted us immunity to poison. We'll be fine.

>>4047538
CHUG LIKE THE TRUE DORF YOU ARE!

>>4047495
>5

>>4047542
...Because we asked real nice?

>>4047538
Threaten Yami that if you just happened to lose, oh boy there'd be a world of hurt...

Intimidate him to give up after two drinks. "Ei pysty, liian hapokasta."

>>4047552
>Start drinking!

ROUND ONE!

Beardbeard chugs down first then Yami the second.

The bastard who passes out is the loser! No own drinks, dorf booze only.

Final destination.

>>4047584
HE'S GIVEN UP! VICTOLY IS OURS!

...Keep drinking anyway.

>>4047584

He's bleeding and has some broken bones.

Just catch him and tear couple of his limbs off.

>>4047584
FUCK.

SEE, I TOLD YOU FAGGOTS, HE'S GONNA CHEAT NOW.

>>4047584
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Chase after that bastard...

While drinking of course.

>>4047538
...okay, call me a whiny bastard, but I actually feel sorry for the poor fellow right now. He is going to get owned, and he is going to get owned HARD. And we already beat him up. He looks so... dejected.

...I want Ruby to hug him.

>>4047584
RUNNING FROM A DRINKING CONTEST IS THE ULTIMATE INSULT TO DORFEN HONOR! CATCH HIM AND MAKE HIM PAY!

>>4047590
Fuck yeah, we won. Go after him and force him to release Garrelf!

>>4047599

That fucker ran away, he's not even cheatin'.

>>4047599
Hes not cheating hes running away as in he lost by forfeit. We should be able to squeeze out that soul.

HUNT THAT BASTARD DOWN

RUNNING FROM SUCH IS INSULT TO ALL THINGS DORFY

>>4047610
Beard's too absorbed in drink to notice him spike the next batch.

A challenger appears!

>>4047607
Not the only one.

Gnome, when the adventure is over, remember to draw Yami getting a comforting hug from Ruby and Tom.

>>4047625
RESIST URGE TO SPRAY DRINK IN SURPRISE.

>>4047625
Yay! Have a manly drinking contest, then return to home plane!

Beardbeard's gotta get serious this time!

...That is Garrelf, isn't it?

>>4047625
Ok, do the same thing as suggested here >>4047178
Then say we need to get out of here. Then continue drinking.

>>4047625

KEEP DRINKIN'

>>4047584

"YOU FUCKING PUSSY! GET THE FUCK BACK HERE AND FINISH YOUR BEER LIKE A MAN!"

>>4047625
No fuck that. Punch him and see what happens.

>>4047625
ANOTHER MUG! CHUG!

>>4047625

DRINK DAT BOOZE

>>4047632
Urge failed!

>>4047658

Ask him where the fuck he has been.

>>4047658
Punch him. Have him return us to the home plane.

>>4047658
Ok that's it! He made us loose our drink. PUNCH HIM IN THE STOMACH! Ya know, to say hi!

>>4047658
THAT'S A WASTE OF GOOD BOOZE. LAP IT UP.

Well, unless the booze here isn't good. Is it good?

>>4047658
Garrelf made us spill precious ale. Beardbeard will not stand for this bullshit!

>>4047635
>...That is Garrelf, isn't it?
Yes, it is Garrelf.

He explains over drinks that Yami is a fucking liar - Garrelf never accepted a single challenge against him in the first place. He was just trying to lure you into a game so he could get your soul, and, well, you scared the shit outta him.

>>4047663
"If I could get back on my own I would have done so by now!"

>>4047658
It is a ploy by Yami to make us stop drinking.

>>4047658
Ask him a question that only beardbeard and him knows the answer to

>>4047682
>"If I could get back on my own I would have done so by now!"

Can Yami return us? Go and punch him some more to find out.

>>4047682
"Is there anything I can do to help? Axe? Stone-thing? Anything you can think of?"

>>4047682

Trip back to the home plane.

Of course, after getting wasted and killing whatever is in this place before going back, all done whilst piss drunk.

Why leave? They have beer here!

>>4047717
Because that crazy bitch of a wife of his will probably find us here if we don't bring him back...Then again, if she does let's just bitchslap her. She needs to learn her place.

Ask if there is a god or guardian of this realm they can go beat up.

>>4047682

Screw getting home first.

Manly Drinking fest with our buddy. It's been a long time.

>>4047717

What, and give up reign of our newfound kingdom? Hell no. Plus that crazy ass bitch will probably find a way to hunt our ass down. Also, remind him that he's due for some elven nookie when he gets out.

PAUSE SCREEN
BEARDBEARD GODSLAYER, Dorfen Berserker
Current Quest(s): Found Kingdom, Retrieve Garrelf, Destroy

Satan Arm.

ALCOHOLISM: damn drunk
GOLD: 29,740

STATUS: Uninjured

MUTATIONS:
Vestigial Wings
No Left Eye
3rd eye on back
Webbed Hands
Three Breath
Poison Immunity
Scales

INVENTORY:
Iron Axe
+8/+10 Two Handed Axe of the Pit
1 Torch
Overworld Map
Hydra Armor
Stone of Ionus
Wooden Leg
Map to Belthimus
Barrel
Nevada's Corpse
Golden Sceptre
Antimagic Cage
Dragon Hide

Party:
Garrelf, Faerie Fighter

>>4047682
Then let's drink until we THINK we're back home! That's almost as good.

>>4047745
FFF....do we at least get to see the after-show special?

>>4047745
>Nevada's Corpse
What?

>>4047745
In 2 weeks we need to remember to get that dragon hide turned into armor. Or spend some of our cash on some nice enchanted adamantine plate.

>>4047745
>Faerie Fighter
>Faerie
What the fuck man? Ask Garrelf why he's apparently no longer a shadar-kai.

Wait, why the hell does he still have Nevada's corpse?

>>4047745
REMINDER! YOU ASKED ME TO REMIND OF DRAWING THIS: >>4045236
(Remember that her pregnancy probably doesn't show much yet.)

Also this: >>4047626

>>4047757
Shadar-kai ARE Faerie.

>>4047751
Of course.

>>4047761
ALSO MADO AND NEVADA ON A DATE! DRAW IT!

>>4047746

This.

The shadow realm seems to be a realm of trickery and illusion.

This plan might be crazy enough to work.

PARTY MEMBERS DRINKING PARTY

Yes. All of them. DRUNK.

>>4047757
He's a Faerie Fighter Polymorphed into a Shader-Kai, hence technically still a fae.

>>4047789
Quoting wikipedia (yeah I know)
"In the Dungeons & Dragons fantasy role-playing game, the shadar-kai are extraplanar human-like creatures. In their first appearance in the game's 3rd Edition Fiend Folio, shadar-kai are fey from the Plane of Shadow, often found in forests and underground."
Shadar-kai ARE fey.

>>4047770
D'aaaaaw...

Gnome, can we get a sneak peak at what happened to the windmill?

>>4047840
And what was the point of Mado getting her head bashed if it contributed to nothing whatsoever?

>>4047759
>>4047753
oversight. I spend about 2 minutes a session adjusting inventory - I don't bother looking at it much.

Sorry for late reply here; went to the toilet quick while I had a chance.

>>4047840
here you go.

>>4047864
...Is that why Aldwin was going to be pissed at Beardbeard? Fuck.

>>4047854

>>4047864
Huh. Ok, what's the status inside?

>>4047874
Beardbeard didn't do that though. We didn't put the Immovable Rod there.

>Shadar-kai ARE fey.
This is correct.

>>4047845
Because it was fun.

>>4047879
Bits of rock fallen in, nobody hurt, oven's destroyed. Don't feel like drawing it yet.

>>4047773
>Mado+Nevada Date

>>4047925
You'd think that two rogues would like to dress a bit less formal.

Regardless, that's d'aw, and I sure wished it was canon and really happened. Pretty please?

So what's Aldwin's posse up to in Assassins Guild? Draw this.

Y'know guys, both TVTropes and 1d4chan articles could use some updatan.

HEADBUTT THE HYDRA!