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  • File :1235275365.png-(105 KB, 600x400, dorfpause4.png)
    105 KB Dorf Quest XIV: Dorfen Rage Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/21/09(Sat)23:02 No.3781790  
    BEARDBEARD BEERDED, Dorfen Berserker
    Current Quest(s): NONE

    ALCOHOLISM: Very damn drunk
    GOLD: 34

    STATUS: Uninjured

    Gimp leg
    Vestigial Wings
    No Left Eye
    Webbed Hands
    Fire Breath
    Poison Immunity
    Scales +2
    Faster +3
    Stronger +1

    Iron Axe
    Pick Axe
    1 Torch
    Overworld Map
    Hydra Armor
    Satan's Eyepatch

    Garelf Swiftrip, Faerie Fighter
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:04 No.3781801
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/21/09(Sat)23:05 No.3781819
         File :1235275548.png-(28 KB, 600x400, Dorf1.png)
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    Beardbeard... is angry.

    Garrelf went from his nobody sidekick to the Elven King and a badass warrior in 3 sessions.

    Beardbeard has gone from a zombie to a mutant abomination.

    One of these things is not like the other, and Beardbeard is not too happy with this.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:08 No.3781836
    Weren't we going to make a new kickass leg outta that living wood we just acquired?
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:09 No.3781846
    Go on a quest to make vestigial wings into working wings.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:10 No.3781854
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/21/09(Sat)23:10 No.3781855
         File :1235275841.png-(32 KB, 600x400, Dorf2.png)
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    Wooden leg already acquired!
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:11 No.3781858
    Go on a quest to verify the fact that you are the most awesome thing around.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:11 No.3781864
    Its the only way to SHOW THEM ALL!
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:12 No.3781867
    If Garelf is king of the faggoty elves, we should become king of the awesome Dorfs.

    Quest to become king of the Dorfs.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:12 No.3781872
    We're in a tavern, right? Ask around to see if there is anything to kill to prove our awesome.

    Alternatively track down Satan and kill him. For fun.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/21/09(Sat)23:14 No.3781881
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    These all sound pretty related!

    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:14 No.3781886
    Kill him? That's weak. To really assert how awesome we are, we have to make him our bitch.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:16 No.3781892
    Ok. Make Satan our bitch to get us cool new wings.

    But Xom is BFF with Satan... ah fuck Xom.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:16 No.3781897
    Xom can have him on alternate weekends and holidays.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:17 No.3781898
    Track down and tear the wings off an elder demon then sew those on right next to the vestigial ones. Four wings are better than two.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:17 No.3781901
    This, by doing this:
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:17 No.3781902
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    You have no idea how to improve your wings, or even where to start!

    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:17 No.3781906
    Wasn't the Hydra Armor sold for liquor?
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:20 No.3781917
         File :1235276409.png-(18 KB, 600x400, Dorf Blarkablark.png)
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    The HYDRA HELM was sold to reincarnate Garrelf into a Faerie. The HYDRA ARMOR is still being worn, but I am a lazy drawfag, as shown by reused reaction images. The money for today's liquor was provided by Aldwin.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:21 No.3781924

    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:21 No.3781925
    We should skin something manly with our webbed-bear hands and wear it as new armor.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:21 No.3781929
    >Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:20 No.3781917
    Forgot your name there?
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:23 No.3781953
    Investigate corpse.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:24 No.3781957
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:26 No.3781970
         File :1235276761.png-(49 KB, 600x400, Dorf5.png)
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    Harkening back to the anger management classes of yore, Beardbeard sets up a list of lesser goals needed to make SATAN his bitch.

    This is what happens when I try to post in other threads because you're all too slow.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:26 No.3781973
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:26 No.3781977
    Oh god not this shit again.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:27 No.3781979
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:28 No.3781986
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:28 No.3781989
    Still forgot your name.

    Anyways, ask Garelf how best to contact SATAN.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:28 No.3781991
    This seems like a bad idea...
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:29 No.3781994
    Find nearest Temple. Inquire as to how to invoke their God. INVOKE AND BITCHIFY.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:30 No.3782002
    Well you seemed like a bad idea but that didn't stop me impregnating your mother.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:31 No.3782014
    Lets start fucking with the elves again. We already destroyed one of their temples, what else that is sacred and holy to the elves that we can destroy?
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:32 No.3782023
    We bitchify their god. Fuck yeah.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:34 No.3782031
    Ask an elfl-priest about his dark god (elf-satan).
    Sacrifice elf-priest to elf-satan
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:36 No.3782043
    I love you Weaver.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:36 No.3782044
    I think being the god of elves already qualifies you as a bitch, but im sure we can bitchify him/her even more.

    Would be better if made the elven god more dorfy.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/21/09(Sat)23:38 No.3782048
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    This seems a sensible plan. You head to the temple of Xom, and ask the local priest, being careful to leave Garrelf outside. What do you ask him, exactly?

    I blame 4chan.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:38 No.3782049
    Okay we have to decide what to do. Do we either go for Satan or elf god?
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:39 No.3782060
    Ask him how we can summon Glitergold, and also if he knows anything about bitchifying gods.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:40 No.3782062
    How can we meet and engage in combat with an Elven god on a level playing field that we have a chance of winning in? Or can we challenge them to a drinking contest like we usually do?
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:40 No.3782064
    Quest for a powerful (preferably dorfen) ARTIFACT.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:42 No.3782077
    Ask him what is the most sacred/holy site of the elves, and how one would go about defiling it.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:45 No.3782101
         File :1235277915.png-(21 KB, 800x600, KingGarrelfFixed.png)
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    I'm sure Garrelf doesn't really enjoy being king of the Elves. I mean, he was once half-dorf himself, even if that really just gave him a taste for vengeance.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/21/09(Sat)23:46 No.3782120
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    The Priest mentions a demiplane where the gods meet each other. They go there because God Powers don't work there - its an equal playing field, so they can't go kill each other. That would be your best bet for meeting up with a god, but only the gods know how to get there. However, mortals have been there before via invite...
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:48 No.3782144
    Let's ask Satan to help us bitchify Glitergold.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:49 No.3782147
    1. Pray to Xom and ask for invite.
    If that doesn't work....
    2. Try to summon Satan (We can pay him now that Garelf is king) to give us an invite.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:49 No.3782157
    I don't think BEARDBEARD is high enough level to survive an attempt to bitchify a god.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:49 No.3782158
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    Oh, Garrelf. Now that he's taken, we may never have crazy pitch-black sex.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:50 No.3782160
    Why would we need to pay him? He's Satan. He should find the idea of a dorf turning a god into his bitch and dragging them around through the mud so amusing he'll help us for the fun of it.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:50 No.3782168
    He is on the demiplane.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:52 No.3782180
    We owe Satan money, remember? He said he'd kick our asses if we didn't pay by the end of the month.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:53 No.3782195
    Wasn't that Garelf who owed him money?
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:54 No.3782207
    Yeah well he IS Satan. He might kick our ass just because he;s our friend. Plus then we'd have to go to all the trouble of trying to resurrect him...
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:55 No.3782221

    Alternatively, form a cult and apply for an invitation on the grounds that you're a bonafide religious movement.

    Additionally, use Garrelf's sovereignty to make your new religion the official religion of the elves, thus giving you some semblance of legitimacy.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/21/09(Sat)23:59 No.3782245
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    Xom ignores your prayers!

    The problem with this is contacting Satan.

    Beardbeard likes aiming high.
    >> Anonymous 02/21/09(Sat)23:59 No.3782247
    Shit. Satan planned this all along. He wanted Garelf to be elf king to make us feel bas so we'd kill an elf god... because Satan wanted an elf god dead.

    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:01 No.3782260
    What. We have a contract with him. Fucker better come to us when we call out for him. Shout louder.

    Alternatively ask priest if there's anyway to get to hell fast. And be alive.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:08 No.3782291
    I say we forget trying to make a god our bitch and get a artifact weapon. By weapon I mean axe of course
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:08 No.3782293
    That's it. Forget this shitty plane of the gods. We're going to the fuckin' plane of elemental teeth!
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:09 No.3782303
    I still say we should use our sway over Garrelf to turn the elven race into dwarf-worshiping cultists.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:13 No.3782338
    Beardbeard just needs some good old killing things and taking their stuff
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/22/09(Sun)00:13 No.3782340
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    You pray to Satan!
    >> подметно 02/22/09(Sun)00:13 No.3782343
    quest for a way to traverse the planes. without a way to get there, we can't beat them up there.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:14 No.3782345
    Why not do something productive like turn our skin to adamantium?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:15 No.3782353
    Tell him about our need to go to the plane to kill an elf god. Remind him of our deal. If he demands payment ask Garelf to sort it out with his new found kinghood.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:15 No.3782356
    Garelf is an elven king. Have him make it mandatory for all elves to follow Xom. After converting an entire CIVILIZATION into worshipers of Xom, he should be more than happy to invite us to the demiplain.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:15 No.3782358
    Pray for a larger dick.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:15 No.3782359
    Tell Satan of our quest to make an Elf God into our bitch.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:18 No.3782388
    Any larger and Beardbeard will have to date orc women!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/22/09(Sun)00:18 No.3782391
         File :1235279934.png-(41 KB, 600x400, Dorf9.png)
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    >Hey Satan, I want to make the Elf god, Glittergold, into my bitch.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:20 No.3782405
    Because we hired him! Plus we'll make half of Garelf's civilisation worship him. Other half will worship Xom.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:21 No.3782416

    Because, thats mindfuck for an entire race thats what!
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:22 No.3782419
    If you help me he'll be your bitch as well.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:23 No.3782428
    Jesus christ you guys, that was Garelf and they never finalized it. Satan was never hired.

    Because he should be all about subverting other gods! Or does he like being mocked by a pansy elf god?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:24 No.3782437
    "Satan, what happened to you man? You used to be a badass rebel. The Satan I grew up hearing horror stories about would leap at a chance to throw the world into chaos."
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:31 No.3782489
         File :1235280694.png-(24 KB, 800x600, MagicAxe.png)
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    Artifact Weapon would be a good idea.

    Picture quite related.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/22/09(Sun)00:32 No.3782504
         File :1235280777.png-(22 KB, 600x396, Satan blarkablark.png)
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    I don't need worshipers, I'm a god. Also, that contract was void, as the first payment was not delivered within 3 hours of signing the contract. Garrelf needs to read the fine print.

    I care about mindfuckery because...?

    ...That is somewhat tempting.

    Yeah, the gods got sick of that and decided to decimate the armies of Hell in one fell swoop. I've been on pretty hard times lately. Xom and me are still buddies, but... Xom's Xom, yanno?

    Alright, whattaya need? If my tracks are appropriately covered, I might give you a hand.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/22/09(Sun)00:34 No.3782512
    >I'm a god

    Should be "I'm not a god."
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:35 No.3782525
    A lift to the demiplane! An enchanted weapon if he can spare it, but I'd be betting he'd want some manner of payment for that.

    Also explain that our current form is more of less Xom's doing via beer, so yeah, we know Xom's Xom.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:35 No.3782530

    All we need is a discreet portal into the plane where the god's have no powers, our DORFAN STRENGTH will be enough to make a gay elf god with no powers into our whipping boy. We don't need to let anyone know that you gave us that portal.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:36 No.3782531
    We need to get to the realm. And an epic axe. Also how about instead of worshipers we give you SACRIFICES? Every virgin in Garelf's kingdom will be sacrificed to you. Funny shit, right? Come on.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:36 No.3782533
    Wanna be? Worshipers are the first step!
    >> 02/22/09(Sun)00:41 No.3782586


    In that case.. it is still possible for you to become one should you collect enough followers.. yes?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:44 No.3782610
    I'm not sure it quite works that way...
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:45 No.3782621
    Ask Satan what was up with his arm.

    Tell him that word SOMEHOW got out that the destruction was XOM'S doing and that apparently nobody thought Satan was a bad enough dude to fuck ANYONE'S shit up.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:46 No.3782629
    Even so, why wouldn't he want followers? They'll praise his name and give him free shit, and since he's not a god, he doesn't have to rely on them for his powers.
    >> 02/22/09(Sun)00:47 No.3782635
    Depends on the setting.

    In some, even a single worshiper confers divine power. Just.. not enough to do anything. Get more? Your power grows. Eventually you vault into godhood.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/22/09(Sun)00:50 No.3782652
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    ...Tell you what. I'll give you the Axe of the Pit, the second greatest weapon in my possession. I'll get you to the Chamber of Neutrality, where the gods meet.


    Should you defeat Glittergold, and make him your servant, then you will be my servant. If you kill Glittergold, I demand his Godhood. Understood?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:52 No.3782661

    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:52 No.3782662

    Is he asking us to enslave him or kill him?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:52 No.3782663

    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:53 No.3782670
    seems slightly unfair, if we make him our servant, HE becomes your servant, not us
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:53 No.3782671
    dwarf ain't nobody's bitch, lets make the god our bitch then kill em
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:53 No.3782674
    We want some sort of proof that we'll be completely safe AFTER kicking Glittergold's ass.

    Tell him that us not trusting him isn't our fault. We're not the people that gave him the name "Prince of Lies"

    Then submit an inquiry as to why we're not allowed to use the FINEST weapon in his inventory.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:54 No.3782683
    We go around being dicks to everyone and killing shit left and right, we'd might as well be his servant already. Let's do this.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:54 No.3782684
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:54 No.3782685
    If you can gain his godhood by killing him, why give it to Satan? Keep it for yourself and stab Satan in the bad. Irony!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/22/09(Sun)00:55 No.3782687
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    That WAS Xom's doing. He fucked with the arm's regeneration.

    A good idea, but the Gods here each possess a fragment of reality - their Godhood. Each fragment grants control over a different aspect of reality. The Gods grant their clerics access to their Godhood fragments, which is how divine magic is accomplished.

    Incidentally, arcane magic involves manipulating the weave of reality rather than the fragments of reality. Its all very complicated.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:56 No.3782696
    >Then submit an inquiry as to why we're not allowed to use the FINEST weapon in his inventory.
    Isn't it obvious? So he can use it on Beardbeard is he decides to betray him. Also it's probably not an axe.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:56 No.3782699

    Beardbeard wouldn't think things out too much, BUT we can agree to give him Glittergold's godhood if we kill him. Once we are there with the Axe lets kill another god for ourselves.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)00:57 No.3782702
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:01 No.3782730
    "So uh....do we sign a contract in blood or something?"
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:03 No.3782743
    1. agree
    2. kill glittergold
    3. take godhood
    4. fuck up satan's shit
    5. ???
    6. profit!
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:04 No.3782747

    Agree to his terms , kill Glittergold, take his godhood for yourself and then lay the smack down if Satan gets uppity for the betrayal.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/22/09(Sun)01:04 No.3782753
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    "My finest weapon is a bow. I'm pretty sure you don't want it."

    He laughs at you. "You can't, Glittergold has the Godhood of Fae. The Godhood can only be used by someone with an affinity for the Godhood - your buddy Garrelf could take it, but not you. I am quite sure you have nothing remotely akin to the Fae running through your blood."

    "Now, one Axe of the Pit, coming up!"
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:05 No.3782764

    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:06 No.3782767
    Wait. We ate the weird white things. Does that count? Ask Satan. I dunno if we could kill a Dorf god.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:08 No.3782770
    No way man, a Dorf god must be so awesome to begin with that even without powers he could tear a mountain in half with his bare hands.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:11 No.3782784
    We all know Beardbeard's a Xom-worshipper at heart.

    Since we can't get goodhood out of Glittergold..

    Let's sacrifice Satan's Axe to Xom and have a good laugh.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:12 No.3782799
    did we assimilate them into our being though?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:13 No.3782804
    Again, ask Satan WHY he won't just turn around and gib us after giving the lord of lies the power of an entire diety.

    I mean, we're ok with him dominating the world and all. As long as he ignores the dwarves (like someone could kill them anyway) and lets US do a lot of the dominating.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:16 No.3782826
    I think we are asking FAR too many questions, we have a big axe and a way to kill the Fae God, do we really need to think about the details and the ramifications?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/22/09(Sun)01:17 No.3782835
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    "A verbal contract through prayer is recorded on the weave of divinity. Our agreement is your signature, imprinted on Fate itself."

    "My undying gratitude? I'm no deal-breaker, I'm LE to the core. Besides, if you never defeat a god, our deal will never come into effect."

    +8/+10 Two Handed Axe of the Pit acquired!
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:17 No.3782842
    Since we're dealing with Satan, yes, yes we do.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:20 No.3782866
    Ask Satan one final question.

    Those Fae in the temple. Was that Divine magic?

    Because if it was, I think we just got all the RAGE we'd need.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/22/09(Sun)01:21 No.3782868
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    "One portal to the Chamber of Neutrality, coming right up."

    By the by, its worth mentioning now Garrelf is still outside the temple, and knows about none of this.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:21 No.3782869
    Isn't the Cultist of Xom still around?

    Go see her for advice about God-trouncing.

    I still think we should sacrifice that Axe to Xom. What's the worst that could happen?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:22 No.3782879

    Cultist is with Aldwin.
    Let's see if Garrelf wants some the action, then go kill the god so havoc can reign across the land, then we can sacrifice the axe.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:22 No.3782883
    He doesn't need to know. As King of the Elves, he'd probably be obligated to stop us.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:23 No.3782889
    >sacrifice that Axe to Xom.
    > worst that could happen?

    Also, Xom traditionally doesn't accept sacrifices...because you've already given him one, yourself.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:24 No.3782891
    We're not sacrificing what may be the most powerful axe ever. That does not fucking make sense.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:25 No.3782898
    But we could use him. AND give him the bow.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:26 No.3782910
    He's better with swords.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:26 No.3782911
    Let's at least kill Glitergold first, so we can become Beardbeard Godkiller.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:27 No.3782918
    Would you like to rephrase that?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:30 No.3782953
    Come to think of it, isn't Beardbeard still only level 2? Or has the 'level' system been thrown out?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:31 No.3782962
    We don't want him to have glory remember? that is why we are doing this in the first place!
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:32 No.3782966
    We lost the level system at like, the third thread. But BeardBeard has max toughness dots and near max strength
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:32 No.3782971
    Let's frame Garrelf guilty for killing elf god! He will live in eternal shame and lose his love!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/22/09(Sun)01:33 No.3782984
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    In the interest of being a Godkiller, you decide to let Garrelf sit this one out. He's already a king, the fuck does he need more prestige for. In you go!

    ...On the other side, you find only two Gods. The one-eyed one greets you. "Hello Beardbeard. So glad you could make it, and right on schedule. Would you like some ale? Please, make yourself comfortable."

    This is correct. The level system is long gone.

    Also, 5 is only the mortal maximum number of dots.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:33 No.3782985
    Level system is out.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:35 No.3783004
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:36 No.3783012

    Ask Xom if it's ok for him to drink Ale.

    (because the reaction would be hilarious)
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:36 No.3783017
    Kill Red.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:36 No.3783018

    Drink ale for justice!
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:36 No.3783019
    That's right! No glory, but the exact opposite!
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:37 No.3783027
    Sup, Cjopaze?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:37 No.3783033
    Sup Hextor
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:40 No.3783053
    ask old one-eye there who he is.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:41 No.3783059
    Ask One Eyed Willie about his fabled treasure.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:41 No.3783060
    Ale..for the love of all that is dwarfy you are being offered free god ale DRINK IT
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:42 No.3783066
    Let's see.. can only absorb the godhood of a god whose domain we have affinity with, right?

    Epic battle with chaos incarnate, anyone?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:42 No.3783077
    but what if it's the alarmingly specific god of poisonous alcohol?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:45 No.3783098
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:47 No.3783107
    thank Xom politely for all the gifts you've given him. A slight nod of the hat for all his services, you know.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:47 No.3783109
    Sup Grummush?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/22/09(Sun)01:48 No.3783114
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    Xom laughs. "Don't ask questions, or I'll have to eat you."
    "I am Fate! I knew you would ask that. Also, Glittergold will be here in 3 hours, so feel free to make yourself comfortable. Nemelex will be stopping by for a bit, too. He wants to talk to you about that Aldwin fellow."

    "Haha, the priest of Xom mislead you. Its not that no one may use their powers while in this room - no one may be harmed. You will leave in exactly the same manner you came in. Now here, some ale. Make yourself comfortable."
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:50 No.3783133
    >You will leave in exactly the same manner you came in

    That means we have to inflict horrible psychological trauma on Glitergold. I don't think this is Beardbeard's area of expertise.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:50 No.3783134
    >Priest of Xom

    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:51 No.3783138
    >poisonous alcohol

    Please report the the department of redundancy department.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:51 No.3783139
    >>Cannot be Harmed Here

    No alcohol poisoning. Exalt through epic amounts of drinking.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:51 No.3783140
    Wait for Nemelex. Talk the FUCK outta him. Wait for Glittergold. Beat the FUCK outta him
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:53 No.3783151
    Ask Xom how we might bitchify Glitergold.
    >> подметно 02/22/09(Sun)01:53 No.3783154
    challenge fate to a game of dice. (when he rolls a six, roll a seven, cohen the barbarian style)
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:54 No.3783159
    Use some conveniently soon-to-be acquired magic and stuff to trap Glittergold and drag him to our realm, THEN beat the shit out of him.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:54 No.3783163
    but we can't ask him anymore questions. He'll eat us.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:55 No.3783169
    Amuse Xom.
    >> Chloe !!q5hi11zEgt1 02/22/09(Sun)01:57 No.3783186
    Xom hate questions.

    Ask him if he wants to play 20 questions while we wait for Glittergold :D
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:57 No.3783187
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)01:59 No.3783195
    steal xom's cane.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:00 No.3783207
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    you are insane my good man.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:00 No.3783212
    Walk up to Xom and tell him that we're playing 20 questions and HE'S the person that needs to ask questions.

    The thing we're thinking of is "Xom"
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:00 No.3783215
    Where the hell did all these pussy elf ideas come from?

    Questions? FUCK QUESTIONS, dwarves don't ask questions, they axe them.

    Ale...we must DRINK IT...and when Glittergold comes, we'll BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM...now there's a plan
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:01 No.3783218
    Suddenly we become Xom.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:02 No.3783221
    PUT SHOE ON HEAD, then DANCE LIKE A RETARD, then HEADBUTT OWN KNEE, and dedicate the ritual to Xom as a thank you for everything he's done to us.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:02 No.3783226
    Ask FATE how we will bitchify Glitergold.

    He's Fate so he'll know.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/22/09(Sun)02:06 No.3783246
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    You drink passionately and fully! Fate smiles, and politely declines to join. Xom seems to be busy reading - he's so intent, you feel like you could sneak up on him and slit his cheek open or something.

    "It would be so much less EXCITING if I told you how things turned out!"

    >Wait for Nemelex
    Nemelex arrives! He seems either bored or angry, its hard to tell with that many glares.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:07 No.3783252
    Goddamnit. Stop with the fanboyish 'suck up to Xom' crap. You're a DORF. You're above such base flattering. You're acting like a teenage girl meeting her flavor-of-the-month pop culture idol.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:10 No.3783266
    Point to fate's eye and tell him "I bet you didnt see THAT coming"

    ha ha, triple entendre.
    >> Chloe !!q5hi11zEgt1 02/22/09(Sun)02:11 No.3783272
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:12 No.3783280
    Ignore Nemelex. Drink beer.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:12 No.3783286
    "You wanted to talk to me about that human?"
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/22/09(Sun)02:16 No.3783318
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    Dude, what you did to Aldwin was harsh. Moreso than I think you realize. If he decides to come after you, I am RIGGING HIS DECK. Your crime won't go unpunished.

    ...Just thought you should know.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:17 No.3783324
    What the fuck did we do to him?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:18 No.3783330
    Aldwin is happy with the Cultist and Lily. He will forgive and forget, instead settling in with a loving family. Hopefully.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:18 No.3783332
    ...what did we do to him again? Send him home with Cultist?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:18 No.3783335
    Wait, what exactly did we do to Aldwin again?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:18 No.3783339
    WHAT, WE WERE PERFECTLY CORDIAL....for a one eyed monster dwarf.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:19 No.3783342
    Dammit, I've missed THIS MUCH of a Dorf Quest thread? I was the primary poster last time!

    Hit Fate with an axe, just to test theory. He's Fate, if he was lying he can walk it off. Its not like we're taking he OTHER eye.

    For that matter, he should be Beardbeard's friend. They're both missing an eye.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:19 No.3783344
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:21 No.3783358
    Deforest Nemelex
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:21 No.3783361
    sip ale casually. Ask him what the fuck he's talking about.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:21 No.3783365
    ask nemelex if he can get you a bigger dick
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/22/09(Sun)02:23 No.3783381
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    Fate giggles. Nemelex leaves.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:24 No.3783388
    Doesn't a future portent imply a railroad?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:25 No.3783391
    Demand Fate tell us what's so funny.

    Also god I hate the "it is a mistery" shit that's not funny man
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:25 No.3783396

    Beardbeard is obviously becoming fed up with fate, lets beat him up and steal his shard of reality
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:25 No.3783397
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:26 No.3783400
    Teabag/dufflebag Xom for ignoring you.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:27 No.3783406
    Find herbivorous bunny girl.
    Tell her to hook Xom
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:28 No.3783416
    Do you REALLY want to see scribbled dorf balls?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:28 No.3783419
    Wow, fate giggled...what a queer.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:28 No.3783422
    If we are just sitting around waiting, I suggest we LOOT EVERYTHING
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:29 No.3783423
    Ask Fate if he KNOWS what's going to happen to every single temple he owns if he does not answer your next question.

    Then ask what he did to Aldwin.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:31 No.3783436
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:32 No.3783443
    So... why didn't Satan know about this whole "not being able to kill the Gods" part of this place?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:34 No.3783470
    Either he never knew about the exact nature of the plane because he had never been there...
    Or there is something more to this place...
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:35 No.3783478
    Because he's not a God?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:37 No.3783498
    Beardbeard's initial goal was to become rich, right?

    How much do you think one of the most powerful axes in the known world would sell for?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/22/09(Sun)02:39 No.3783511
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    Seriously, Beardbeard has no fucking clue what he mighta done to the kid. Nothing seems to stand out in his mind that could have been bad for Aldwin.

    Fate smiles, and explains how this all works. "If you want to take a God's divinity, you need to challenge them to a Duel of Divinity. They get to choose where this will take place, but once challenged they must accept. As you are now... I do not suggest challenging me for the Divinity of Fate. It will end... poorly."

    "Yes, I know what will happen to my churches. And so do my priests. They will be ready for you. But to answer your question, you've done nothing to ALDWIN. However, your previous actions will cause him to be quite furious with you in a couple weeks."

    Fate smiles. "Satan seems to think you can win a Duel of Divinity against Glittergold. The Gods are above my vision - even I don't know the results of the duel. I wish you luck - Satan would make a nice God of the Fey. Very malicious."
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:41 No.3783537
    Theorize that, if for some reason both Beardbeard and Aldwin are somehow connected via a strange oligarchy of the same people, Aldwin could never get angry at Beardbeard.

    Ask Fate to explain how he could.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:41 No.3783539
    oh fuck what did we do to Cultist?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:42 No.3783542

    At least Satan knows who to root for.

    Also auto-saging
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:42 No.3783543
    Ask about any other gods that we might be able to deforest at some later point and take the power of
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:43 No.3783551
    ....I think I know what it is
    Xom's Other Temple.
    In the middle of Aldwin's hometown
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:46 No.3783573
    Maybe we should have done something about that?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:46 No.3783577
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:46 No.3783578

    Yeah, we're probably going to want to do something about that.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:46 No.3783579
    It's a testament to Xom, Cultist's god.

    That can't be it.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:47 No.3783587
    Yeah, but at the same time, it's kind of devouring his home town.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:47 No.3783589
    Oh shit

    Aldwin's pissed because SATAN'S ARM killed the habberdasher
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:48 No.3783591
    Nope, its all ale under the bridge now! Onto the next quest!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/22/09(Sun)02:49 No.3783600
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    Glittergold arrives.

    "Oh my, oh my, so sorry to keep you waiting, so sorry. You must be Beardbeard, correct? Its a pleasure to meet you, my followers are so displeased with what you did to the temple in Aordor. So displeased. But we can move past that, of course. Of course we can. Of course."

    His smile menaces with spikes of anger.

    Who said anything happened to Cultist?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:52 No.3783626
    Tell him to quit it with the shit-eating grin, we all know we're here to kill him.

    Ask him where and when he wants to die.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:52 No.3783628
    Punch him in the soul
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:53 No.3783634

    Challenge to a Duel of Divine DRINKING
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:53 No.3783636
    yeah, we need to fuck his shit up something fierce. Is Xom still reading his book? Becuase if he is, then grab Xom's cane and prepare to use it in EPIC BATTLE.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:53 No.3783638
    He seems tricky. Certainly up to something.

    Do something he can't possible expect you to do. That is to say, do WHATEVER YOU'D NEVER DO IN THIS SITUATION NO MATTER WHAT. This will throw him off guard and mess with his plans real well.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:54 No.3783641
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:54 No.3783642
    Tell him he might wanna contain the all-devouring SATAN'S ARM that's seeping out of his temple?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:54 No.3783644
    Tell him if his followers were worth the alcohol they've drank in their lifetime, they would have put up a better fight.
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:55 No.3783653
    Dual-wield cane/axe?
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)02:57 No.3783671
    glittergold is maskseller guy
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)03:02 No.3783701
    Combine them together to make THE CHOPPY CANE AXE OF XOM
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)03:02 No.3783702
    Yell chaos, swing kinda at glittergold but hit fate instead because CHAOS!
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)03:03 No.3783710
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)03:03 No.3783711
    If you strap it to the bottom it would basically be a polearm.

    lol dorf with a polearm...
    >> Anonymous 02/22/09(Sun)03:04 No.3783715
    Cane axe?
    CHAIN axe?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/22/09(Sun)03:06 No.3783733
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    New thread.

    Also archives: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3783722/

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