I foresee monstergirl highschool.

Xiahou Dun Beholder?

Fund it.

Can someone post the template for Paranoia Beholder?

WARRING STATE ARMORED BEHOLDERS USING TELEKINETIC EYESTALKS TO MELEE WITH HALBERDS AND SWORDS

An entire civilisation of gelatinous cubes?

I could see it.

>>3729099
Paranoia beholder will still kill them all. he can't take any chances.

>>3729127

GELATINOUS HIVECITY CUBE

>>3729130

>>3729127

Their entire city is based on cubes. All the architecture is cuboid. Their carts run on cuboid 'wheels'. The more cube-y a Cube, the higher its social status.

Pussy-whipped Adventurers Anonymous:
For those adventurers who fell in love with the dragon instead of the princess.

The first class had a Paladin who is thrall to a vampire
A Barbarian warlord who is now the plaything of a succubus warlord
An all powerful sorcerer who got on the wrong side of a dragon, and is now paying the price (in bed)
And a young mage whose wolf animal companion turns out to be a werewolf, and way more than she can handle.

>>3729118

Lu Bu could be an incredibly scary decked in full-plate armor centaur dude with fucking glaive blades on his backhooves and shit

I'm trying to figure of an awesome thing to replace xiahou dun beholder's lost eye with. Just an eyepatch would not be awesome enough.

>>3729180
A human skull with magical gems in the eye sockets.

Personally, I'd rather see a setting where all intelligent nonhumans are either descended or transformed from humans.

Rather than having things like liches, depending on their emotional leanings, powerful mages who have learned the secret of immortality might slowly transform themselves into things like dragons (pride), beholders (paranoia), illithids (hunger for knowledge), or elves (vanity).

Things like orcs, goblins, dwarves, and halflings are just races of humans.

Orcs evolved from tribes of rapists, so lost their beauty and charm in favor of brute strength. Goblins evolved from tribes that followed a Marxist-like credo of "from each according to their ability, to each according to their needs" so obvious strengths became burdens and were selected out. Dwarves adapted to mining. Halflings lived in peaceful isolation, so they lost their size and strength, but remain decent and affable.

That sort of thing.

Paranoia beholder makes a thread strong.

>>3729183

WHY NOT A PERPETUALLY SLEEPING DEMILICH THAT WAKES UP AND GIVES IT ADVICE ONCE IN A WHILE

>>3729127

CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBES!

Also, fuck year, Beholder campaign ahoy!

>>3729180

A loli lives in its eye socket, using the eyepatch as part-curtain, part cat flap.

The loli is actually a gnome monk.

>>3729205

Sounds too cramped.

A pixie might work.

>>3729214

A pixie monk, then. I was going for a "beneath the eyepatch there is A FIST!" sort of thing.

>>3729220

or a pixie druid/monk that likes leaping out and shifting into a dire bear!

God damn. Beholder pirates.

Eyepatches all over the place.

>>3729158
>wolf animal companion turns out to be a werewolf, and way more than she can handle
If you can't take the knot, stay out of the wolf den.

>>3729220

Nah, pixie ranger. A tiny arrow from beneath the eyepatch!

>>3729243
And if you can take the knot...

Take pictures.

>>3729243

yeeeeahh. I'd like to see one of you zoophilia fucks go into a mother wolf's den with an erection.

"Hello there madam. I'm here to groom your cub-OH GOD YOU ATE MY LEGS"

>>3729243
>>3729158

Actually, the werewolf is also female.

>>3729184
Paranoid Beholder Liches

>>3729109
> I foresee monstergirl highschool.
Dear Diary
I'm so excited! Today Urgrot asked me to the dance. I got so nervous I accidentally ate his locker. SIGH!
Anxious already!
- Rosie~♥

>>3729284

Dear god, Rust Monster with wooden braces.

>>3729284

OWLBEAR JOCKS

>>3729271
THen someone will post that they have a penis. someone will say fund it, furfaggotry ensues. and there are no mods to ban the furfags. seriously, we can start a child porn thread and no one will even notice.

>>3729297

TROLL LIBRARIAN

>>3729284

KOBOLD LARPERS!!!

>>3729301
SHHHH!!

You'll give them ideas...

>>3729303

UMBERHULK JANITOR

ABOLETH PRINCIPAL

>>3729303

"YOU KEEP QUIET IN TROG'S LIBRARY!"

>>3729301
Rubbish. A week ago I watched a cp thread appear and vanish on this board within 2 minutes. There's mods, they just don't give a shit unless it's serious.

>>3729332
There was a CP thread?

A clique of catty Medusa bitches?

OWLBEAR GYGAX

>>3729338
It was very short lived.

>>3729338
>There was a CP thread?
>
>And I missed it? Why didn't anyone tell me?

>>3729332
Might be a matter of people actually reporting those.

YETI NECKBEARDS

>>3729340
isnt there one of those in eberron?

>>3729340

FUUUU yessss

>>3729329

"WHY YOU PUT ARCANE MONTHLY ON BLACKSMITHING SHELF?! I WRITE SHELF LABELS IN INFRA RED YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE!"

>>3729353

TREANT WOODSHOP CLASS TEACHER

HIS CLASSES ARE VERY AWKWARD

>>3729356

"Excuse me, sir, I'm looking for a book on the Planar Sciences and-"
"IT IS IN THE CONJURATION SECTION."
"Um, yes, but I can't really figure out how its ordered, you don't use the Dewey Decimal System-"
"IT IS ORDERED BY SKULLS! CONJURATION IS SEVEN SKULLS! DO NOT ASK AGAIN OR IT WILL BE EIGHT!"

>>3729356

"THIS BOOK LATE! YOU PAY TWO COPPER OR ME SMOOSH!"

"God damn fire elemental punks, always smoking in the bathroom."

Kobolds are the sissy kids everyone picks on

>>3729184
Nobody wants to talk about all-human-based fantasy settings?

I like the idea of fantasy settings that are set in the future, about a million years down the road in constructed environments that were designed by people who only thought in terms of millennia, so the maintenance and emergency systems evolved into magic.

SLAAD DELINQUENTS IN LEATHER JACKETS

>>3729382

you might want to make a new thread for that.

>>3729354
And one was a rather famous Painter. Real nice person didn't turn anyone to stone.

That one Githyanki foreign student who gets words wrong in a weird way.

>>3729389
Good point. Thanks.

>>3729394

"In home country, men ruled by queen with iron fist. She kill all ones with high power. My friend is dragon."

>>3729370

"How many weeks can I have this for, please?"
"LOTS WEEKS"
"What?"
"ARE YOU FICK OR SOMEFING?"
"No! I just what to know how many weeks specifically!"
"NOT MANY! LOTS! NOT ONER, NOT TWOER, NOT MANY, LOTS! HOW OFTEN DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU PEOPLE?"

>>3729409

"I SPEEL MY DRINK!"

GOD DAMN I WANT SOME COFFEE.
WHY CAN'T THEY MAKE TABLES FOR MY SIZE?

Who would be the weeaboos?

There are always weeaboos in high school.

>>3729450
Elves.

>>3729450
A Gnoll... For some reason this strikes me as a hilarious mental image

>>3729450
Kenku? Tengu?

>>3729454

Blood frenzy is so kawaii ^_^

>>3729417

"Excuse me, I can't read any of these books."
"YOU STUPID WHY YOU NO READ BOOK?"
"I just.. they're in some weird language.."
"GIMME DAT. DESE BOOK FINE."
"Are they.. is this in some Troll language or something?"
"CORSE NOT. EVERYONE SPEAK DIS. YOU JUST FIK."
"It's definitely not Common."

>>3729474
Discworld Troll Libraian?
Fund It

>>3729488
Anyone up for a campaign based around the Discworld using 4e? I just had an amazing idea

Elves as weeaboos for the realm of faerie?

Faeriboo?

>>3729496
Gimmie sum stats.
I maybe fink 'bout it.

Or just steal it

"Welcome to Calculus. It is here we will mold your brains with mathematics as to make them juicy, succulent, and delic-- ...Excuse me. It is here we will mold your brains with mathematics to help you succeed!"

>>3729503
just faeboo

There is always one hot Drama teacher...

Though controversial, Librarian Torg's strict policy towards late returns has been so effective that student have begun returning more books than they actually took out.

But what about Kender?

>>3729582
We're not involving Kender. Ever.

>>3729586
WHAT ABOUT KENDER

>>3729582
They exist to be shoved in trashcans and lockers... Even the Cutbolds beat the snot out of them

>>3729586
You just did.

>>3729513
I would take that class

>>3729529
Treeaboo.

Goth Kenders...

Zombie goths.

>>3729625
Wonder if anyone dropkicks them down the halls.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuNBTet27cI

>>3729619
>Treeaboo.
I'M GOING TO ALLOW THIS

Dorfs would be the football team. Picking on the Treeaboos.

>>3729549
"YOU RETURN BOOK OR I BREAK HEAD"

We need a drawfag on Great Librarian Torg.

No.

No elves, no dwarves, the whole point of this is making the monster races dominant.

The Treeaboos can be regular fey, like satyrs & dryads, the jocks can be giants, like ettins and trolls.

Would the school occasionally come under attack from roving band of hideous abominations known as "a-dven-choo-rars"?

>>3729715
OH GOD HIPPY DRYAD

FAPPING ALREADY

>>3729488
Why wouldn't they just turn the air-conditioning in the library up real real high so the Troll would be more intelligent?

>>3729307

Hang on. How would they know the Mimic is in the room when it comes to taking attendance?

Librarian? Well...she is technically a monster.

>>3729776
YOU NOT ME

>>3729783

OI! YOU NOT ME! MY NAME ME! MY NAME NOT YOU!

>>3729849
>>3729783
What the hell are you all doing in Patchoulli-sama's library?

>>3729865

WHATS A PATYOOLYZAMMA?

>>3729810

"YOU! YOU COME HERE NOW!" GOOD! NOW SHOW ME DAT! AHA! WOT DIS! DIS NECKLACE WITH FIREBALL!!"

"Geez like Mr Torg fergawd sake it's got like one friggin like charge left an it like goes really really like great with my ro-"

"YOU DARE BRING FIREBALL INTO LIBRARY OF TORG?!! THIS BEING CONFISCATED!"

"Hey! OW!"

"GO! WANT NECKLACE BACK, COME BACK WITH PERMISSION SLIP FROM MS. NCABATHAZMOROR!"

Hot as hell marilith art teacher!

WHO DARES MUNCH CHEETOS IN THE LIBRARY OF TORG?

RUUUUUUUUN FAAAAAAAAAAASTEEEER! THIS IS GYM, NOT DANCING SCHOOL!

>>3729739

Moar?

>>3730076
Hell yes

GOD DAMMIT YOU SCALY BASTARD I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT SHIT LAST WEEK

>>3730076
OH HELLS YES.

And, like any fantasy teacher, shes secretly hot for a few students. That shy halfling girl who sits in the back of the class, as example.

>>3730104
OH SHI-!

Aaemuel is the Phys-ed Teacher, while Hethradiah is the Health class Teacher

>>3730146
>shes secretly hot for a few students. That shy halfling girl who sits in the back of the class, as example.
YOU... YOU...

DOUBLE-PEDO!

>>3730154
You're just jealous I thought of it first.

>>3730154
YOU... YOU...

TOM NOTTY!

>>3730104
DEMOGORGON GYM TEACHER FUCK YEAR

>>3730152
Now why would Demogorgon teach health? ...I have /far/ more interest in healthy, young, ripe bodies...

>>3730193
Nono, Demogorgon would teach Gym, not Health. World of difference there.

WHAT ARE THESE SMOOCHY SHENANIGANS OCCURING IN TORGS REFERENCE SECTION?

>>3730198
Read that earlier one. One head teaches gym, the other health! ...Or not. Both teach gym, one land team, one the swim team!

...Then Graz'zt can teach health.

>>3730211

I see a hapless little kobold couple getting roared at by Torg for kissing...

>>3730173
>>3730154
>>3730146
>>3730126

You know the worst and simultaneously best thing about fucking hot art teachers? It's what they say off-handedly while teaching.

"...note the green shading has to be stippled like so, to get the details out. You know, when I was teaching my students in the Abyss I painted in the nude. Mmmmmn. Okay, for extra tones, you mix in half a cup of the brown dye."

>>3730237
That's just bonus awesome.

>>3730237

"It's kinda weird, but when I'm really concentrating on detailwork and I lose all track of time, my nipples get really hard. Do you guys get that?"

>>3730223

All shivering, eyes tearing up with terror at the hulking, tweed-bound monstrosity in front of them. There will be no mercy.

"YOU! BARD BOY! TORG HAVE EYE ON YOU NOW! YOU TRY SING, I TRY SMASH!"

>>3730269
I like where this is going.

>>3730298
NO LUTES IN TORG'S LIBRARY!

>>3730314

YOU! DEURGAR WITH HORN! WHERE YOU THINK YOU GOING! COME TO COUNTER OR I SHOW YOU WHAT HORN FEEL LIKE!"

TORG BELIEVE YOU HAVE HIS STAPLER

So would mating pairs be cross-species? For instance, if a troll falls for the cute honey dragon next door... what would the kid look like?

If we were gonna make a real setting out of this, it's something that bears examination.

>>3729513
Excuse me sir? I... I don't really feel comforatable when you do that.
No, no, when you rub my head with your tentacles.

>>3730403
Illithid Masseuse.
Very suspicious.

>>3730403

TELL TORG WHERE BAD ILITHID TOUCH YOU

...

TELL TORG NOW!

>>3730403

-You have turned in a most excellent worksheet. 96/100. See me after class.-

God damn. Somebody write this up as a novel series.

It would outsell Harry Potter 3-to-1.

>>3730424

NO, TELL TORG SLOWLY. ADD DETAIL. NO, IT NOT MATTER WHY TORG'S HAND IS UNDER DESK!

Can we talk more about the horny marilith art-teacher and that halfling girl?

>>3729768
The Mimic has to take a specific form?

>>3730444
I'm more concerned with that damn pixie that keeps sneaking into the girl's locker room!

Straight guys keep hearing that gays give the best head, because they know what it feels like, and while they don't want to find out for themselves, they always feel a little concerned that they might be missing out.

It's the same thing with illithids. Not only can they read your mind, see your deepest fantasies, and feel what you're feeling, but they also just have more versatile equipment.

doesn't this remind anybody of that thread about a year ago where someone had a monster group with a rust monster, gelatinous cube, and something else?

it was really quite thought out.

>>3730463

Ah yes now I remember.

They all started as monsters in some adventurers BBEG dungeon. When the bbeg (a lich) had its phylactery destroyed, the magic dust gave the monsters fractured sentience or something.

>>3730457
The pixie is working for the marilith.

>>3730475
BRB, SNORTAN LICHDUST

>>3730463
>>3730475
Red Crawler. His group hasn't been able to play due to issues with a few of his players and their families.
>>3729711
Second the motion.

"Today in history I'm going to tell you about the COMMIE PINKO NANCY ELVES AND WHY THERE AREN'T ANYMORE OF THEM!"

"... again? Sir, that's been your entire semeste-"

"Are you a Commie Pinko Nancy Elfboy, Randy? That sounds like a Elfboy complaint. Remember what happend to Elfboy Jeremy?"

VROCK CAFETERIA LUNCHLADY

>>3730529
I would bring my own luch!
The worste part is I can SEE a Vrock in the hairnet and blue apron.

>>3730548

"JUST TAKE THE DAMN FEATHERS OUT OF IT THEN! (mutter)Whiny little shit. NEXT!"

>>3730548

"DID YOU SAY YOU WANTED DOUBLE LUNCH!?"
"Oh christ no just leave me alone!"
"IN HELL YOU MAY EAT ALL YOU WANT! ALL THE FLESH IN THE WORLD COULD BE YOURS!"
"I just want my hamburger oh god stop hovering over me!"
"UNICORN BURGER!"

Gentlemen:

School nurse. Discuss.

Hold it! All this talking, and we still don't know who the schools headmaster is.

>>3730568
If someone says Gnoll I will KILL A BITCH!

>>3730573
I was thing Troglodyte

>>3730571
A lich. Obviously.

>>3730568
Something with fleshcrafting.
>>3730571
Tharizdun.

>>3730573
Then get ready to kill a bitch. Gotta fit gnolls in somewhere, and there's as good as any.

DEAR DIARY
TODAY TORG BOUGHT LUNCH FROM LUNCHVROCK AGAIN. LUNCHVROCK TOUCHED TORGS HAND. TORG BLUSH THEN TAKE ELF-FRIED RICE AWAY

Mister Torg, why are you shouting?

TORG NOT SURE HOW INTERNAL NARRATION WORK

>>3730599
Gnoll Nerds for the fun of it... those big Glasses, Braces, and a tendency to flip the fuck out when angered.

>>3730586
Imagine how cold the hands would be

>>3730586
Playing Hooky again Mr. Fleshripper? I am assigning you to Detention. For the next 100 years!

>>3730568

"Hmmm! That IS a bad break. Now just hold still, I'll have your sling done in a minute."

(holds arm in place with first pair of limbs while others pass thread from underneath her skirt to the second pair of limbs)

>>3730615
Nerd Rage...

What role would this guy fill? It somehow wouldn't be complete without him.

>>3730603
A chaos beast

>>3730571
The headmaster must be Asmodeus!

Just as planned

>>3730622
Nah, she'd be teaching Home Ec.

>>3730628
Bus Driver. Well the Bus too

>>3730603
A lecher lich? Perfect.

...might explain how that art teacher got the job.

>>3730628

That one kid who's absolutely mad but doesn't really have any freinds. He's really smoulderingly quiet and intense the entire year, no freind and everyone's waiting for him to inevitably do a Columbine.

>>3730628
The school Mascot they let out during football games!

>>3730628
Mascot!

>>3730628
Dean of Students

>>3730634
Seconding this. Tarrasque would be an awesome bus/bus driver.

THE TARRASQUE IS THE GROUNDSKEEPER WHO CHASES LATECOMERS TRYING TO SNEAK IN OVER THE FENCE AND YOU KNOW IT

What could we do with Slaad

i guess this is the right thead to request this:

anyone has the comic page where monsters are playing some kind of PnP date sim with human characters?

i just remember the line:
"i'm going to eat your brain!"
"humans can't eat brains, man"
"I'm not talking about the damn game!"

...or something like that. the mind flayer was pissed off because another character rolled for a kiss and successfully kissed his char, wich was a schoolgirl.

>>3730657

>>3729384

>>3730657
SpEd class.

>>3730667
And the scull team.
Wait for it...

>>3730685
TUNNEL SLAADS RULE

http://paizo.com/paizo/messageboards/paizoPublishing/rpgSuperstar/rpgSuperstar2008/round2/ghostHound
KInshipsOfTheRollingPlains

>>3730685
No one's going to take the bait?

DEAR DIARY

TODAY TORG WAS SUBSTITUTE FOR MS. AAARAGASHIGTK'S LITERATURE CLASS. CHILDREN RUDE. ONE MIMIC LATE, TRIED TO CLAIM HAD MIMICKED CHAIR.

>>3730720
LITERATURE CLASS RUN BY CHAOS BEAST.

Drow will be Extinct.

>>3730767

Drow are Chaotic Good preps, rebelling against their Neutral Evil gothic parents.

>>3730767
And by "extinct" we mean "on Thursday's school menu next to the Salisbury steaks."

>>3730767

"HERE! WOT DIS! WHO PUT FUNNY HAT ON DROW SKELETON AGAIN! YOU THERE, WHO DO THIS TO EXHIBIT?!"

"Not sure, but I think it was the slaadi boys from form 3 again, mr Trog sir."

(crash)
"AAARRAGHH! HAT WITH GLUE TRICK AGAIN!"

"Alright class, you've been doing... mmm... so well in your sketchwork and still-life portraits that I've decided to give you a real challenge - live modeling!"

*Throws off cloak* "Be sure to get my good side, students..."

>>3730842

"Be sure to get my good side, students...students...student! STUDENT! OI! OI! WAKE UP, SLEEPYFACE! NO SLEEPING IN LIBRARY! YOU NICE HALFLING GIRL SO I GIVE ONE CHANCE!"

>>3730842

If I was still a sex-crazed high schooler, you can bet that's not all I'd be doing.

>>3730842
now THAT is a challenge!

>>3730611

DEAR DIARY

TODAY LUNCHVROK GAVE TORG CARROT SHAPED LIKE ROSE!

Shh!

DO NOT SHUSH TORG IN TORGS OWN LIBRARY PUNY GHOUL! TORG CRUSH!

>>3730859
What a rude troll, waking her from such an interesting daydream.

...or was it? Art class IS next...

>>3730867

TORG FEEL STRANGE AROUND LUNCHVROK. TINGLY IN HIS GIBLETS. NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS. MUST FIND BOOK.

>>3730901

Bump for potential halfling/marilith student/teacher lesbo seduction.

You know there is this wonderful picture of just that very thing... Lidda and the Marilith...

>>3730943
writefaggotry badly needed here

>>3731001

Can love bloom in the microfilm section?

TORG DOES NOT LIKE YAKFOLK. THEY SMELL AND LEAVE HAIR IN BOOKS.

>>3730988

Hheheh.... where do you think I got the idea?

Nymph Cheerleaders!

As a graduate of a Library Tech course, I can safely say that Great Librarian Torg is my hero.

Wait, is that like Great Teacher Onizuka?

>>3731529

GREAT LIBRARIAN TORG ARE HERO TO ALL LIBRARIANS! THAT IS WHY HE IS 'GREAT' LIBRARIAN!

WHAT IS ONIZUKA

>>3731567
Look under the graphic novel section, sir. I believe that's 2 skulls

Do you guys not know Sigil Prep?

www.sigilprep.com

>>3731740
I was all ready to hate this, but it turns out it's actually brilliant.
I wish I could get in on it ;_;

>>3731929
Yeah. A lot of the 3.5 stuff is actually even more hilarious, so check that out.