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  • File :1234697598.png-(57 KB, 600x400, King of the Elves.png)
    57 KB Dorf Quest XIII: Special Bonus Round Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)06:33 No.3718242  
    This is happening 4 days later, when the Queen FINALLY gives the three of you the chance to leave again.

    "So yeah. I have to visit for at least 3 days every month or she says she'll divorce me. I'm not even an elf, how the hell did this happen. As king though, I have as much access to that grove as I want. But please don't lose too many limbs, those threes apparently take 3 millenia to grow to fruition and I don't want to be king THAT long."
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:35 No.3718254
    Does this make GARELF more or less MANLY?
    What *is* his currently MANLINESS factor anyway?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:36 No.3718256
    I consider this a successfuly completed sidequest.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:36 No.3718257
    Time to loot the elves' treasure chambers of anything of value we can carry with us. Artifact weapons, anyone?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:36 No.3718258
    Did we get a new leg?

    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:36 No.3718261
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:36 No.3718264
    King of the Elves... King... of the Elves.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:37 No.3718270
    Tell Orc how you did it.

    For Kay-ohss
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:38 No.3718271
    >King: +Manliness
    >Elf: -Manliness
    Breaks even
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:38 No.3718272
    ehh, insufficient alcahol.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:38 No.3718274
    Matchmaking, Xom approved
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:39 No.3718275
    lolrandum XD *holds up spork*
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:39 No.3718277
    Pray that Cultist does not have anymore Chaos Beer.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:39 No.3718278
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:39 No.3718279
    >Got laid: +Manliness
    >Four days of sex pretty much non-stop: ++Manliness

    He's manlier now.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:40 No.3718281
    This could be a good thing in so many ways. For example, now when it's Beardbeard's turn we can recruit an army of elves. During basic training week everybody must learn to wield an axe, chop down a tree with their axe and make a fake beard of their hair which they will glue to their chin.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:40 No.3718283
    ok, back to town, sell off candlestick, BOOZE TIME, check on Demon Arm Growth Progress
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:41 No.3718288
    And... maybe do something about that last bit, Aldwin still needs BADASS HAT.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:42 No.3718293
    Point conceded
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:42 No.3718296
    Plus we can make (and hopefully control) little wood minions

    With beards
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:42 No.3718298
    Convince Garrelf to give you his crown so you can pawn it for more cards. After all, the Queen probably has a whole vault full of the damn things.

    Alternatively convince him to let you borrow it in case you ever need to pass yourself off as royalty.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:44 No.3718307
    Oh, sudden insight: Bundle of Sticks = Faggot = Elves

    Maths can't lie.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)06:45 No.3718311
         File :1234698308.png-(42 KB, 600x400, A45.png)
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    You tell Cultist all about your key role in making all of this work out so nicely.

    She tells you you're a very sweet guy, doing something like that for Garrelf. She laughs at you for wussing out on the gay sex though.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:45 No.3718315
    D'aawwwww pic.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:45 No.3718317
    >an army of elves
    fuck that
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)06:46 No.3718322
    She was just clinging to him for 4 days, not all of it was sex. They stopped to eat, for example.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:46 No.3718324
    mention Booze to Beardbeard
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:48 No.3718334
    Is elf army still a definite no if we use Xom's power to morph them into some horrible, dysfunctional creatures?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:48 No.3718336

    Ah, Beardbeard, a true dwarf through and through.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:48 No.3718338
    >They stopped to eat, for example.
    No, I rather imagine that they didn't :3
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:49 No.3718342
    ....I love how Dorf Quest evolved from Zombie Dorf to "Let us all fuck the world in all it's forms."
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)06:49 No.3718349
         File :1234698588.png-(46 KB, 600x400, You have my attention.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:50 No.3718350
    Aww crap, try to tell Beardbeard that his friend isn't any more elfy, he is just taking advantage of them.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:50 No.3718351
    I'm sure the queen got plenty of fluid intake.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:51 No.3718356

    >She tells you you're a very sweet guy, doing something like that for Garrelf.


    >She laughs at you for wussing out on the gay sex though.

    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:51 No.3718360
    Back to town.
    Sell silver.
    Buy booze.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:51 No.3718363
    Give booze to Beardbeard. Its for the Greater Good!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:52 No.3718366
    Aldwin should get several tiny wooden minions. That would be awesome, and possibly helpful in his roguish workings.

    Anyway, he needs to get a quest reward of some sort for himself and then get back to town.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:52 No.3718367
    what do we do now?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:53 No.3718376
    This... is pretty much the Dorfy End of this game. In a nutshell.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:53 No.3718381
    mention how you plan to head back to town, sell the silver and drink heavily
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:54 No.3718384
    I'm sure the elves must have SOME booze. Just try to give it to him fast enough that he doesn't get drunk enough to become violent before he becomes too drunk to realize where he is.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:57 No.3718398
    The elven pisswater won't be enough to raise our drunkbar any.
    Even if we drink ALL of it.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:57 No.3718403
    Is that the end of this chapter, or the end of EVERYTHING?

    Wait...we left the arm growing in Alwin's town. Shit.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:59 No.3718407
    just pour some salt on it, it'll shrivel up
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:00 No.3718414
    i smell end of chapter summary
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:01 No.3718425

    After all xom gets his lulz screwing with normalcy, if *everything* turned chaos, he'd run out of shit to fuck with.

    Or maybe xom and satan actually went and turned it into an actual awesome temple.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:01 No.3718430
    People, this is hardly the end. The end will only come after a truly EPIC quest, with a massively asshole BBEG defeated and humiliated, Cultist and Aldwin together, Garrelf and Queen back having sex, and Beardbeard rich and drunk.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:03 No.3718436
    No worries about the arm. Assuming it's growth in mass is constant, its growth in diameter will slow down very fast because
    A ~ d^2, and because this is an area
    d ~ sqrtA
    so it will take a fucking massive amount of time for it to consume the planet even if it consumes a town of a few square km in a matter of days. As in, beardbeard will be long dead before.

    Of course, if it grows exponentially faster, the situation is a bit different.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:04 No.3718442
    Xom cares not for your maths faggot
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)07:04 No.3718446
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    The queen gave Aldwin 2000 Gold for 'hooking me up with such a stud,' in addition to the 500 Gold he got for selling the candlestick in the Elven city. Aldwin hands Beardbeard 40 Gold, and says "Help yourself to anything you want." Beardbeard likes this idea, and drags Garrelf with him off to the Mountainholms.

    Leaving Lily, Cultist, and Aldwin alone in the Elven Forest. After a moment's discussion, they all decide to head back to the Windmill Base.

    Where there is only one bed.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:05 No.3718451
    >Where there is only one bed.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:06 No.3718457
    man, like beardbeard would be happy with 40 gold when the other guy has 2460 gold
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:08 No.3718464
    >Where there is only one bed.

    Give Lily the bed. Have Aldwin and Cultist sneak outside for some moonlight lovin'.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:10 No.3718469
    >Where there is only one bed.
    >One bed

    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:10 No.3718470
    Haha, what makes you think he told him about all that? Garrelf won't mention it either, on the chance of dealing with a pissed off demon-dorf.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)07:12 No.3718474
         File :1234699931.png-(31 KB, 600x400, dorfpause5.png)
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    Beardbeard does not need to know!

    ALDWIN CARDSHARP, Human Rogue of Nemelex
    Current Quest(s): Obtain Cards of Nemelex

    Status: Perfectly Healthy

    Sneakiness: Very
    Gold: 2497

    Trick Dagger
    Real Dagger
    20 bolts
    BLACK Cloak (wearing)
    Camouflaged Cloak
    ':3' face
    Deck of Summons (54)
    Deck of Bewitching (7)
    Lily Helmet

    Lily Roosterhalt, Human Apprentice Neckbeard
    Xom's Cultist, Orc Priestess of Xom
    As with last week, I will be continuing to draw whatever until I pass out. Enjoy.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:12 No.3718481
    Makes me wonder if Cultist shaves...
    Also, poor Lily, she loud bumps will keep her awake.

    So, question:
    Whats with the Skeleton Monkey from the last thread's opening picture?
    Where does the hole in the Windmill lead? We never explored that.
    What crazy-ass adventures will Dorf kill his way through next?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)07:17 No.3718490
         File :1234700238.png-(34 KB, 600x400, Motel Monkey.png)
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    1) I was fucking with you, pic related.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)07:18 No.3718500
         File :1234700334.jpg-(74 KB, 701x683, landofthelost.jpg)
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    I thought that the hole's destination was pretty obvious.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:20 No.3718502
    Will we get Aldwin or DorfyMcDorfdorf for next thread?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:20 No.3718503
    ... Can he get a Bellboy hat now? Cuss he owns a Motel? CRAP I hope I don't land on that square!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:20 No.3718504
         File :1234700422.jpg-(375 KB, 1200x939, 1234553373123.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:20 No.3718505
    It rotates. We get Dorf for a week or two, then we get Aldwin.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:21 No.3718506
    >2460 gold

    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:21 No.3718509
         File :1234700501.png-(29 KB, 600x400, m12346199931827.png)
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    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)07:22 No.3718514
         File :1234700539.png-(52 KB, 600x400, Mask Salesman.png)
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    3) Might have to do with this guy.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:23 No.3718516
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:23 No.3718517
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:23 No.3718523
    btw, Gnome, nice work on these threads, very entertaining.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:25 No.3718533
    I always look forward to my weekly Dorf Quest fix!

    Now with Cultist!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:26 No.3718535
    Oh damn it, I sleep in a bit late and then I wake up and it's all over. I'm going to have to read all of the threads I missed on the archive.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)07:28 No.3718541
         File :1234700932.png-(57 KB, 600x400, sci fi dinosaur hunter.png)
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    3) Or maybe next week will have this.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)07:32 No.3718551
         File :1234701120.png-(49 KB, 600x400, sci fi dinosaur hunter2.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:32 No.3718554
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:32 No.3718556
    Jurassic Dorf?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:36 No.3718567
    Do this. DorfQuest 9876896893743k.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)07:37 No.3718570
         File :1234701466.png-(43 KB, 600x400, sci fi dinosaur hunter3.png)
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    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)07:40 No.3718579
         File :1234701647.png-(38 KB, 600x400, Capabilities - Deforestation.png)
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    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)07:44 No.3718588
         File :1234701855.png-(45 KB, 600x400, Loot Everything.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:45 No.3718591
    Question: what happens if you do that outdoors? Hit everybody in the world?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:48 No.3718602
    it looks like just deforestation indoors and more random
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)07:48 No.3718603
         File :1234702082.png-(44 KB, 600x400, Shadow Rush.png)
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    It fizzles.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:51 No.3718616
    We need to see Garrelf and the queen being a cute couple.

    ..What is the queens name, anyways?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:53 No.3718629
    Do we get capability cards for Lily and Aldwin? And can Cultist actually do anything besides regenerate arms?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:53 No.3718635
    Well, that sucks. Attacking everybody who is not inside might have been a useful ability.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:54 No.3718637
    All those cards are here I think
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)07:55 No.3718645
         File :1234702545.png-(81 KB, 600x400, Worst Nightmare.png)
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    Aldwin's Capability Card was the first one found, and yes Cultist can. Her Capability Showcase is next.

    The Queen is named Arialla.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:55 No.3718646
    >Session power

    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:58 No.3718666
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:58 No.3718667
    I guess its good I suggest trapsense, then!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)07:59 No.3718670
    Human Clr/Rge, Orc Clr, and child NkB.

    What a weird family lily has adopted.

    She's still cute though.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)08:00 No.3718681
         File :1234702822.png-(41 KB, 600x400, Xom's Touch.png)
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    Don't make me pull out Campaign Powers.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)08:03 No.3718697
    heal via mutation? that's awesome and creepy
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)08:03 No.3718698
    I'm expecting someone at some point to throw Lily at an enemy and hit them with her spike helmet.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)08:05 No.3718704
         File :1234703139.png-(67 KB, 600x400, Xom's Love.png)
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    Her other session power, Restoration Without Mutation, lets her heal a wound without causing mutation, like Xom's Tough does.

    Xom sure does lurv his mutations.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)08:06 No.3718706
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)08:07 No.3718709
    ...I'm glad she gave Aldwin a hug.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)08:08 No.3718720
    Obviously she can control the ability, or it would have happened by now. She kissed him back in part 1 from tonight, and Xom's Love is pretty rapid.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)08:10 No.3718730
    oh i know this, still...never let a betrayal card fall on her

    also aldwin will be sad when she kisses some other guy for the good of the group
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)08:16 No.3718767
         File :1234703798.png-(69 KB, 600x400, Nerdrage.png)
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    Didn't like the other wording, deleted and posted anew.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)08:19 No.3718783
         File :1234703985.png-(43 KB, 600x400, Heart of the Cards.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)08:25 No.3718809
    I lol'ed.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)08:25 No.3718816
         File :1234704352.png-(54 KB, 600x400, playful.png)
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    Arialla and Garrelf being playful.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)08:28 No.3718830

    thank ye :D
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)08:29 No.3718848
         File :1234704598.png-(38 KB, 600x400, Happy Valentine's Day.png)
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    Everyone got themselves a girl/family except this guy. HAPPY VALENTINES, /tg/!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)08:30 No.3718852
    Well maybe if he stopped killing everything and..I don't know, stopped losing limbs...
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)08:30 No.3718853

    Dorf Quest just got PROMOTIONS!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)08:33 No.3718871
    Since when did Beardbeard care about anything that wasn't fighting, drinking, or deforesting?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)08:36 No.3718886
    He wants to do those things alongside a saucy dorfen wench
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)08:36 No.3718891
    He fights to fill the void inside of himself.

    Oh, wait, its all filled with alcohol.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)08:37 No.3718894
    Well we'd have to find someone as vicious as you. Some equally crazy Dorf maiden perhaps.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)08:38 No.3718902
         File :1234705131.png-(32 KB, 600x400, Axe the monitor.png)
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    Oh, he doesn't. Just sayin'.

    And with that, I am going to bed. G'night, /tg/, this was probably the longest most productive sessions yet. ITS ALMOST LIKE THERE IS MAYBE A PLOT NOW YAY. Enjoy the rest of your day, /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)08:40 No.3718909
    >Axe the monitor.png
    that's our dorf!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)08:42 No.3718913
    This is perhaps the cutest thing I've seen since Ruby Quest.

    No wait, I saw There She Is after Ruby Quest. Okay, this is a good second.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)09:02 No.3718986
         File :1234706526.png-(22 KB, 800x600, KingGarrelf.png)
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    This just had to be done.

    BONUS: Garrelf in colour!

    No I am not Gnome.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)09:05 No.3718999
         File :1234706716.jpg-(27 KB, 305x388, Garrelf.jpg)
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    ...why am I still up.

    Anyway, this is his coloring. And those things on his arms aren't decorative. Look into the Shadar-Kai article in Dragon, those things on his arms are the pain box things that have nails on the inside poking through his arm. Shadar-Kai are extremely masochistic.

    But, saved anyway.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)09:58 No.3719189
    Whatever you say, chief.

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