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  • File :1234687396.png-(23 KB, 600x400, A24.png)
    23 KB Dorf Quest XII: A Dorfy Reunion Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)03:43 No.3717155  
    >>3717073
    >>3717095
    While Aldwin was reading up on the Capability cards, introductions were made, and everyone knows everyone else like some big happy homicidal family. Yay.

    Now that everyone is assembled, Aldwin explains that he knows a legend of a place where the wood can be carved into a lifelike fake, which could be used to give Beardbeard a peg leg that works better than his REAL leg.

    Beardbeard is intrigued. He likes this idea better than the block of wood he glued to his boot.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)03:44 No.3717166
    Now might be a good time to tell him about the Elf Forest.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)03:45 No.3717171
    >>3717155

    Furious George is back too!?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)03:45 No.3717172
    Alright, cultist-chan, this is Xom speaking, wood.

    WOOD.

    LIVING WOOD.

    USE IT CREATIVELY.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)03:48 No.3717179
         File :1234687694.png-(10 KB, 492x269, Indirect Player Character.png)
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    >>3717172
    Cultist is an indirect PC.
    >> подметно 02/15/09(Sun)03:48 No.3717183
    >>3717155
    stay with the party for now, but BUY A CROSSBOW.

    Lily: if you can pay attention to archives and the like, let Aldwin know about the fact that Beardbeard is insane, but loyal enough to raise fallen comrades, even if he himself murdered them.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)03:51 No.3717199
         File :1234687911.png-(20 KB, 600x400, thanks tg.png)
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    >>3717183
    I can't read the archives, but I can totally tell him what you tell me. I'll watch Aldwin's back, this Beardbeard sounds like bad news.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)03:52 No.3717204
    >>3717172

    WOOD?

    Livi-YOU FUCKING.

    Wait.

    Wait.

    That has the potential to be either VERY AWESOME or VERY HORRIBLE.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)03:53 No.3717213
    Off we go?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)03:54 No.3717219
    Why is Furious George back? Last time I saw him he was in the trash!

    Buy Lily a tiny viking helmet. Combined with the neckbeard Beardbeard will be nicer to her.

    Also, she has no combat power. She'll need the protection.

    Buy a light crossbow - Rouges don't use heavy ones. Aldwin needs to focus on movement.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)03:54 No.3717220
    >>3717199
    Please do, because he is.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)03:54 No.3717227
         File :1234688084.png-(88 KB, 600x400, A25.png)
    88 KB
    >>3717166
    "Oh, also, this enchanted grove is in the Elf Forest."
    >In the Elf Forest
    >Elf Forest
    >Elf

    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLVES
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)03:54 No.3717229
    >>3717199

    No.

    No.

    Beardbeard is awesome.

    So awesome that people around him die because DEATH BOUNCES OFF OF HIM, AND KILLS HIS ACQUAINTANCES.

    If we live, and beardbeard bothers to ressurect us, we are okay, and should take some levels in Perform:Epic Storytelling.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)03:56 No.3717240
         File :1234688173.png-(21 KB, 210x318, RedXom.png)
    21 KB
    >>3717172
    Hey. Stop that.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)03:56 No.3717243
    >>3717227
    I know how you dwarves feel about elves, but all you need to do is walk in, chop down a lot of trees and walk out.

    Should be a piece of cake, and if we're lucky we won't come across any elves!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)03:57 No.3717247
    >>3717227

    I wasn't aware Lily was dorf sized.

    DELICIOUS ALCOHOL.

    I second the notion of buying Lily some sort of adorable piece of armor. SHE NEEDS ACCESSORIES.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)03:58 No.3717255
    >>3717229
    Beardbeard is chaotic evil with zero dots of logic. It doesn't matter how awesome he is, Aldwin needs to stay ready to get away at any moment.

    >>3717227
    This would be one of those moments. Be ready to run, grabbing Lily, if he does something insane and/or hostile.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)03:59 No.3717261
    >>3717247
    Someone agrees with me! Since her head is the largest part of her, I suggest a helmet. Viking helmet. Horns add like 10 to your AC.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)03:59 No.3717263
    >>3717227

    Quick, roll for bullshit and say that the wood we're going after isn't elven itself!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:00 No.3717269
    >>3717240

    No, goddamnit. Personality 3, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
    >> Totallynotsamefag !!PwrhihocaUN 02/15/09(Sun)04:01 No.3717275
    >>3717261
    lol, reading this I imagined her putting the helmet on... then slowly tipping over and falling face first.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:02 No.3717281
    >>3717261
    >>3717247
    Lily doesn't need AC, she needs to be incorporeal at will. If it comes with something cuter, well, so much the better.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:02 No.3717284
    >>3717275
    Even though it was my suggestion, that made my lol.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)04:02 No.3717288
         File :1234688567.png-(34 KB, 600x400, A26.png)
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    >>3717247
    >>3717219
    Crossbow and helmet purchased! 20 bolts thrown in for free! 60 Gold lost.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:03 No.3717291
    >>3717288
    SIEG HEIL
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:03 No.3717293
    >>3717288
    Start shooting random things. Preferably people.

    Also so nice of you to use my demotivator in the last thread, Gnome!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:04 No.3717299
    >>3717288
    Okay, I didn't think of WWI German helmet. You win, that IS better.

    ...Wait. Does Aldwin even know how to USE a crossbow?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:06 No.3717308
    Okay, we have gear, let's get out of town and towards that soon-to-be-deforested grove.

    >>3717293
    Do not shoot random people on the way.

    >>3717299
    Rogues have light and hand crossbow proficiencies, so probably.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:06 No.3717312
    >>3717291
    That's WWII. Those helmets are WWI.
    >> подметно 02/15/09(Sun)04:08 No.3717328
    >>3717288
    holy crap that helmet is awesome. i D'awwwwwed.
    Aldwin: We should find out if the rest of the party is ready to leave. Also, since we have so many decks of summoning, deck peek all of em, and deck mark/deck stack the ideal one for a SHTF situation.

    Beardbeard: get ready for elf hunting, get a barrel of ale; those elves don't know how to make booze, just sissy fruit juice.

    Lily: just as something to do consistantly, try to remember to keep an eye out for people for Aldwin to steal from. He still needs reminders: he actually paid for the helmet and crossbow, for example. also, see if you can find some poison to up Aldwin's chances of crossbow success. Since he's a wimp, i suggest oil of taggit or drow sleeping poison.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:10 No.3717335
    >>3717179
    Speaking of indirect PCs...Beardbeard? We control him at all right now?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:10 No.3717341
    >>3717308
    >Do not shoot random people on the way.

    Aldwin is not a chaotic asshole like Beardbeard. Shoot inanimate objects instead, for practice.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:12 No.3717352
    DO NOT DECK PEEK ENOUGH TO ANGER NEMELEX.

    NEMELEX DOESNT LIKE FAGS
    >> подметно 02/15/09(Sun)04:14 No.3717365
    >>3717352
    brah, we just sacrificed 8k gold to him. aldwin an' nemelex be broski-close.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)04:15 No.3717369
         File :1234689344.png-(79 KB, 600x400, Shit Got Real.png)
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    >>3717308
    Onward to the Elven Forest! And yes, Aldwin can shot crossbow.

    QUEST INITIATED, STRIKE A POSE!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:16 No.3717376
    >>3717365
    Trickster Gods don't really care how much gold you gave him - if you mess up, you incur the wrath anyway.

    Deck peek a little and see if you got anything GOOD.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:16 No.3717380
    >>3717365
    Even if that's true, why do anything which could endanger it? There's really no need to peek EVERY deck. Two or three should be enough; it's not like we're going to be jumping at the chance to use our consumable resources.
    >> подметно 02/15/09(Sun)04:17 No.3717384
    >>3717376
    the day before, we completely emptied out a deck without looking at anything in it. happy now?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)04:20 No.3717398
         File :1234689658.png-(15 KB, 600x400, Lily blarkablark.png)
    15 KB
    >>3717328
    >>3717352
    >>3717365

    Since the same boon granted all 7 decks, instead of getting 7 decks of Summoning you gained 1 deck of 54 cards. That's just how it is - Nemelex prefers quantity over quality. No one's quite sure what he does with everything given to him.

    The top 2 cards of the Deck of Summoning are The Hive, and The Repulsive.

    >>3717335
    Beardbeard is an Indirect PC during Aldwin's Turn.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:23 No.3717409
    >>3717398
    We've used the Repulsive before...not that impressive. The Hive sounds pretty cool, though. Huge amounts of tiny demons?

    Anyway, off we go! Yay adventure!

    Unless it ends up being Oregon Trail.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:24 No.3717413
    >>3717409
    Bees. Probably.

    Aaaand we're walking....and walking...
    >> подметно 02/15/09(Sun)04:25 No.3717417
    >>3717398

    Aldwin: scout ahead. sneaking practice is good, and if it's something you can take care of before the rest of the party gets there, you can pocket the goods for yourself.

    lily: remind beardbeard that elves don't know how to make anything other than sissy fruit juice, and that he should pick up a barrel of ale for the trip, since aldwin doesn't think like that.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:30 No.3717448
    Honestly I have nothing to add. However, I keep thinking about Oregon Trail...

    Crap, not Dysentery!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)04:32 No.3717456
         File :1234690339.png-(50 KB, 600x400, too high.png)
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    >>3717413
    Walking scene!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:32 No.3717457
    >>3717398
    >Beardbeard is an Indirect PC during Aldwin's Turn.
    Somehow, that's much more frightening. He is still the same destructive force we made him, but no longer under our direct control.
    >> подметно 02/15/09(Sun)04:32 No.3717458
         File :1234690372.gif-(379 KB, 160x120, 1219266296963.gif)
    379 KB
    >>3717448
    de sentry is fine. it's just only lvl 1.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:33 No.3717461
    >>3717456
    Garrelf IS pretty damn tall. The goatee means he's up to no good.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:36 No.3717480
    Random encounter table tiem?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)04:37 No.3717490
         File :1234690650.png-(58 KB, 600x400, A27.png)
    58 KB
    ENOUGH DICKING AROUND, QUEST IS GO!

    The grove in question is within the courtyard of the Elven Queen. The tree ahead is the entrance to the Elven Capital City, and for very good reason Dorfs are not allowed.

    What to do, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:38 No.3717496
    >>3717490
    Aldwin should do some SNEAKAN. Maybe some TUMBLAN!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:39 No.3717502
    Put Lily on top of Beardbeard, cover in clothes = Pull a Calvin & Hobbes! Together they're elf-height.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:40 No.3717506
    >>3717490
    Well...this is where Beardbeard would do his thing but....
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:40 No.3717508
    >>3717490
    Beardbeard should stay outside. Better keep good relations with them elves if it can get you a nice new leg.

    The rest go inside.
    >> подметно 02/15/09(Sun)04:40 No.3717511
    >>3717490
    did lily manage to get some oil of taggit or drow sleeping poison? if yes, have aldwin shoot the elves to sleep, then go in. if not, summon the hive to distract them while the party goes in.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:41 No.3717517
    >>3717502
    THIS, but pretend they are human!

    Also... the Elves outnumber us A FUCKTON to one, so MAYBE BeardBeard should be kept on a short leash...
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:41 No.3717519
    >>3717502
    Beardbeard won't be able to keep that up for long. He's not the type to keep to a disguise. We're better off dropping him off here. Maybe Cultist, too, if the elves are all anti-orc.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:41 No.3717520
    >>3717490
    Wait, we only need some of the wood from these trees outside right?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:44 No.3717538
    >>3717520
    >The grove in question is within the courtyard of the Elven Queen.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:47 No.3717549
    >>3717538
    Oh.

    Well Gnome totally sucks at playing Beardbeard, we should be half way in.

    Oh well, run 'sneak_shit.dat'
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)04:48 No.3717556
         File :1234691300.png-(22 KB, 600x400, A28.png)
    22 KB
    >>3717520
    No, you need wood from MUCH farther in.

    >>3717519
    >>3717517
    >>3717506
    >>3717508
    For the safety of EVERYONE involved, Beardbeard is left outside.

    Unfortunately, even though Cultist wouldn't hurt anyone, she must stay outside the city as well. Damn racist elves.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:49 No.3717570
    >>3717556
    Get to know Garrelf better. We're going to be working together after all.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:52 No.3717579
    >>3717556
    And he hasn't flipped out and attempted DEFORESTATION?
    Beardbeard is a lot more docile when we aren't telling him to kill everything... Though I hope Aldwin doesn't take too long, we don;t know how long with calm will last.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)04:52 No.3717581
         File :1234691578.png-(75 KB, 600x400, A30.png)
    75 KB
    >>3717549
    Aldwin enters undetected... somehow. No one watching would have the faintest clue how he did it - Lily's training has been paying off. He kidnapped Lily through with him.

    Garrelf, the damn showboater, just teleports in.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:53 No.3717586
    >>3717556
    Have Cultist and Beardbeard chat about random stuff to pass time.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:53 No.3717592
    Use Garrelf and Aldwin's combined sneaking proficiency to sneak in and get the wood.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:54 No.3717596
    >>3717579
    Maybe he's sober? As we all know, the more sober a dorf is, the slower they become. Deforestation must require a higher level of drunkenness.

    Damn, I was hoping my disguise scheme would be picked, but everyone had to have the common sense to choose the sensible one. Oh well.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)04:54 No.3717599
         File :1234691681.png-(25 KB, 600x400, garrelf blarkablark.png)
    25 KB
    >>3717579
    Garrelf has a voice of reason - he's been holding Beardbeard in check, now that he's tough enough to stand up to the invincible midget.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:56 No.3717611
    >>3717581
    Ask for an audience with the Queen.

    Tell her 'A friend who has fought with a great evil, gazed upon Satan's face HIMSELF has gotten crippled and needs a peg leg.'
    >> подметно 02/15/09(Sun)04:56 No.3717613
    search for the grove we're looking for.
    look for elves to steal from on our way there
    find an axe, since beardbeard isn't with us to chop down a magic tree for us to turn into his pegleg.
    talk with garelf.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)04:56 No.3717614
         File :1234691796.png-(32 KB, 600x400, Xom is Watching.png)
    32 KB
    >>3717586
    >Beardbeard and Cultist
    >Talk about Random Stuff

    They talk about Xom.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:58 No.3717616
    >>3717599
    So... he's probably deforesting the area right outside even now?

    We'd better hurry.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)04:59 No.3717625
    >>3717614
    >They talk about Xom.

    Xom is amused!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:00 No.3717629
    I still think he's too sober to perform Deforestation. The keg was lost while fording a river (Yes, an Oregon Trail joke).

    What is the town like, Gnome? Is it hideously and disgustingly elfy?
    >> подметно 02/15/09(Sun)05:00 No.3717630
    >>3717625
    >100000 rocks
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:02 No.3717643
    >>3717611
    This plan seems like it relies on our ability to con both the elven royalty and all their counselors long enough for them not to figure out that our friend is a psychotic dwarf cloaked only by our rhetoric. Hardly a sure bet.

    Besides, what if the leg has to be custom-fitted?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:02 No.3717647
    Do a wacky montage showing Aldwin and Garelf searching for the tree grove.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:03 No.3717651
    Alright, I think our best strategy is going to be heavily summoning and distraction related, if we can't make it the whole way undetected.
    >> подметно 02/15/09(Sun)05:03 No.3717652
    >>3717647
    SECONDING LIKE THE MOTHERFUCKING FIST OF THE NORTH STAR
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:04 No.3717654
         File :1234692271.jpg-(161 KB, 700x700, aldwinquestfuckyeah.jpg)
    161 KB
    >>3717643
    Maybe getting wood from the special trees isn't all that hard; they might just ask for some gold or something else equally minor.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:04 No.3717655
    >Evaluate ELVEN SETTLEMENT for looting.

    No reason we can't grab ourselves some souvenirs.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:04 No.3717656
    issue: no chopping implements

    solution: elf guards wandering around with Swords!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:05 No.3717661
    >>3717643
    Tell him the friend can't move, what with the fact that he has only one leg. We need people to come to him.
    >> подметно 02/15/09(Sun)05:05 No.3717666
    >>3717654
    taking wood from elves is like taking ale from dorfs. you don't do it while they're still alive, unless you do it while they don't know you're doing it.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:05 No.3717668
    >>3717656

    They're probably wooden swords.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:07 No.3717680
    >>3717666
    and I think they'd be especially emo over cutting living trees
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)05:08 No.3717685
         File :1234692516.png-(56 KB, 600x400, A31.png)
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    >>3717611

    They make their way through town easily enough. They come upon the front gates of the Elven Palace, and Aldwin steps forward to say:

    "A friend of mine, a great warrior, has been desperately injured, and needs but a branch of the fabled Lifewood. He has gazed upon Satan himself, and rid the world of many a foul beast. I ask an audience with the Queen, that I may make this request of her."

    The guards look at each other, and shrug. "Sure, go on in. The Queen was bored today anyway."

    >>3717629
    Actually its somewhat mundane for an elven village. The people live in houses carved into the bases of giant redwood trees, as expected, but they aren't attempting any of that 80-feet off the ground crap.

    The palace itself is made up of a massive combination of what appears to be over 100 trees that grew in the exact same spot and branched out, and were then pruned back into a spherical shape. Reaching the front gates of this 'sphere' took a looooot of walking up a very large staircase.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)05:10 No.3717694
    >>3717666
    Shut up Satan.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:11 No.3717698
    >>3717685
    Thank the guards, while thanking them check and see if there's anything that visibly will be an easy item to pick
    >> подметно 02/15/09(Sun)05:11 No.3717699
    >>3717694
    wat
    ;_;
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:12 No.3717706
    >>3717685
    After getting into the place, take a look around. Locate quest item and/or other loot.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:12 No.3717709
    >>3717699
    >699

    9 is 6 upside down.

    There are 2 9s

    2 upside downs is rightside up.

    699 = 666

    QUIET SATAN.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:13 No.3717710
    >>3717699
    >3717666
    >666
    post number pun
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:14 No.3717716
    >>3717685
    Fucking laid back elves, did we even need to sneak in?
    >> подметно 02/15/09(Sun)05:15 No.3717727
    >>3717710
    it is too early in the day. my branes are being reduces to mush, but i mus stay and read dorf quest.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)05:16 No.3717739
         File :1234692999.png-(58 KB, 600x400, A32.png)
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    >>3717698
    >>3717706
    Silver Candlestick acquired!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:18 No.3717753
    >>3717739
    Maybe Lily should carry the loot, on the grounds that even elves probably wouldn't slaughter a small girl caught stealing.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:18 No.3717754
    Wonder if Beardbeard would like to drink strawberry wine if we can find any. He's a good man after all and bringing him a drink would probably make a good impression on him.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:20 No.3717760
    >>3717739
    Anything special or easily identifiable about this candlestick?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:20 No.3717761
    >>3717754
    >strawberry wine
    I think he'd like that slightly more than fermented elf piss
    >> подметно 02/15/09(Sun)05:22 No.3717778
    >>3717760
    not once we introduce it to mr chisel & hammer!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)05:22 No.3717780
         File :1234693367.png-(42 KB, 600x400, A33.png)
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    >>3717760
    Its solid silver, and of elven make. Its worth more than a pretty penny.

    Aldwin and Garrelf proceed to the throne room! A small elven child waves at them merrily. The room is otherwise empty - the queen must be out.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:23 No.3717784
    >>3717780
    Be genre savvy: Ask if the child is the queen.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:25 No.3717798
    >>3717780
    Wave at the girl, ask where the queen is.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:26 No.3717803
    >>3717784
    Be slightly more genre savvy: Introduce yourself and get the child to do the same.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:26 No.3717806
    >>3717784
    Lily is genre-savvy, she asks if the child is the queen - Aldwin and Garrelf look at her in shock, if she is right.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:27 No.3717815
    >>3717806
    I change my answer to this:>>3717803
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)05:32 No.3717844
         File :1234693927.png-(21 KB, 600x400, A34.png)
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    >>3717784
    >>3717803
    Lily saw this event coming 4 panels ago.

    "I'm Lily, and this is Aldwin and Garrelf. You're the queen, right?" Lily says bluntly.

    "Oh my! How observant!" The child-queen responds. "What can I help you with, child?"

    She should have been Pink in the last panel too, I botched.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:33 No.3717855
    >>3717844
    LILY! TELL THE QUEEN THE LIE WE'VE PREPARED.

    >A friend who has fought with a great evil, gazed upon Satan's face HIMSELF has gotten crippled and needs a peg leg.

    Only make it cute.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:34 No.3717857
    >>3717155
    I'm still concerned about SKELETON MONKEY in the first picture.
    >> подметно 02/15/09(Sun)05:35 No.3717870
    i am far too tired. i will read this on suptg. sorry, gnome, you'll have to ignore someone else's bad suggestions now.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:35 No.3717871
    >>3717844
    Explain our current Quest.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)05:39 No.3717890
         File :1234694353.png-(31 KB, 600x400, A35.png)
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    >>3717855
    >Tells story

    "How cute!" The child queen replies. "I will give you the Life's Wood if those two will complete a trial for me." She laughs. Her laughter menaces with implied horrible things.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:39 No.3717891
    >>3717857
    That's been worrying me this entire time.
    >>3717870
    Hey, leave me out of this!

    Say nothing of the mass destruction Beardbeard has committed against nature and the Elven people.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:39 No.3717898
    >>3717890
    What Trial?

    Garrelf, why don't you fuck off for a bit so we can get a surprise attack in if needed.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:41 No.3717909
    >>3717890
    Oh dear.

    Well... agree to it I guess.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:42 No.3717913
    >>3717909
    Agree to it? Maybe we should hear what it consists of first?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:44 No.3717924
    >>3717913
    What?
    You sound like one of those people who read the entire software license agreement before installing Flash player.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:45 No.3717928
    Attempt to persuade her to let you have the wood up front and then assure her you'll complete the quest.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)05:46 No.3717936
         File :1234694764.png-(48 KB, 600x400, A37.png)
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    >>3717898
    >>3717909
    >>3717913
    >>3717924

    "Those two are sooooo hot. I want to watch them have sex together."

    ...Being the /d/eviant she is, Lily can't bring herself to disagree.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:47 No.3717948
    >>3717936
    Thats it.

    LIGHT THE DORF SIGNAL!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:47 No.3717949
    Use LUST card on self.

    You won't remember a thing.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:47 No.3717951
    >>3717936
    What a perv.

    Agree reluctantly. Start enjoying yourself halfway through. Become more than friends.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:48 No.3717954
    >>3717936
    TELL HER THERE IS NO TIME.

    BEARDBEARD, SCOURGE OF ELVES EVERYWHERE IS COMING, HELP OUR FRIEND BY GIVING US THE WOOD OR GARRELF AND I WILL MERELY TELEPORT OUT LEAVING YOU IN RUIN.

    But if you give it to us now, we might come back later if we need something in less dire times.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:48 No.3717955
    >>3717948
    I agree, time to go for the good 'ol SLAUGHTER!

    Its pretty small for an Elf Village, and Beardbeard is frothing with pent up rage.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:49 No.3717961
    >>3717936
    ...well, there are worse things, I guess. At least it's not the mutant dwarf.

    Just how much Life's Wood are we getting out of this? It seems to me that Beardbeard is reaping the rewards of our discomfort. We should only go through with it if there's enough to make Aldwin and Lily items as well.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:49 No.3717962
    >>3717936
    FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU-
    wait, what were those seduction cards again?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:50 No.3717967
    Aldwin: Glance uncomfortably at Garrelf.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:51 No.3717976
    >>3717954
    HE MAY BE IN THE HALLS THEMSELVES! HE HAS TAKEN LEVELS IN THIEF! HAVE YOUR GUARDS CHECK TO SEE IF ANYTHING OF POSSIBLE VALUE IS MISSING NEAR THE ENTRANCE. WE MUST HURRY.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:52 No.3717983
    >>3717936
    any chance we can get "having sex together" to involve her in the middle?

    Barring that, sex change magics? Illusions? ANYTHING? IDEAS PEOPLE?!?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:53 No.3717985
    BEARDBEARD GET IN HERE!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:54 No.3717990
    >>3717983
    I already said my idea, SUMMON/SIGNAL BEARDBEARD! I'm sick of all these... ELVES!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:54 No.3717991
    >>3717983
    Panic and start spamdrawing cards like the motherfucking fist of the card star
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:54 No.3717997
    >>3717962
    Betrayal and lust. Lust might make things easier but its not strictly necessary. Betrayal... betray our sexuality? Fuck I don't know.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:55 No.3718000
    >>3717983
    >any chance we can get "having sex together" to involve her in the middle?

    Use card: Lust. That should do it.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:55 No.3718002
    >>3717936
    Ask her if perhaps there's anything else she would like
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)05:55 No.3718004
         File :1234695343.png-(36 KB, 600x400, A38.png)
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    >>3717961
    The queen promises an entire tree for your... services.

    >>3717949
    >>3717962
    The BETRAYAL card is the top card of the deck. LUST is the second.

    >>3717967
    Aldwin is very uncomfortable with this.

    Made more so by Garrelf not actually being too worried about it.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:55 No.3718005
    >>3718000
    I'm pretty sure we'd have to use Betrayal first.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:55 No.3718006
    ...Have sex with Garrelf. Use the lust card!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:56 No.3718009
    >>3718004
    ALDWIN NO! CULTIST SHOULD BE YOUR FIRST!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:56 No.3718010
    >>3718000

    This should function appropriately.

    Technically, they ARE co-operating together.

    Whatever happens, it'll either require some fadetoblack or DEUS EX BEARDBEARD to save them from the perils of elven terrors.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:57 No.3718011
    >>3718004
    Can we shuffle the deck then peek at the cards?

    If not, my Beardbeard bluff still stands.

    Does Lily have any thoughts on the matter?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:57 No.3718013
    >>3718004
    Ask the Queen for something mind-altering to make it easier. Aldwin won't do this so well if he's not high or drunk.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:57 No.3718014
    >>3718000
    we need to use betrayal first though right? how could that help?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:58 No.3718021
    >>3718005
    Not if we use that ultimate Nemelex power which allows you to discard all but 5 cards and mark and reorder those 5, I forget the name.

    But yeah, use betrayal on the queen first, and see what happens. Or Beardbeard, it's not like it can make him any different.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:58 No.3718022
         File :1234695505.jpg-(166 KB, 900x830, rumiawaifu.jpg)
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    WOO! TAKE IT OFF, GARRELF! TAKE IT OFF!!

    What a sexy being of darkness he is. I wonder if he's single...
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:58 No.3718023
    >>3718013
    ALDWIN IS SAVING HIMSELF FOR HOT ORC PUSSY!

    Call the Beardbeard.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)05:59 No.3718025
    Walk out and use BETRAYAL on some random elf. Make sure no one sees you doing this.

    Then use LUST on Aldwin.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:00 No.3718032
    I strongly believe in that Love can Bloom with Cultist. We cannot have sex with Garrelf. However, I would prefer not to slay the Queen.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:00 No.3718035
    >>3718023
    You guys are being irrational. For all we know, Aldwin's been sleeping with everything female he's ever managed to get a smile out of.

    We should go through with this. Get wildly drunk, lose clothes, fade to black, then accept reward in the morning and never speak of it again.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:01 No.3718038
    >>3718025
    come on, I know /tg/ is TOTALLY GAY, but Aldwin has Orc Cultist to think about!
    She will never love a gay man!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:02 No.3718039
    >>3718038
    She's a cultist of Xom. I'm sure she'd find him even hotter for it.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:02 No.3718040
    >>3718035
    ok, THINK about WHO your talkign about.
    He was ENTIRELY INCOMPETENT before meeting Lily, and he hasn't had the time SINCE.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:02 No.3718041
    >>3718004
    Use BETRAYAL to reverse her taste for yaoi-gayness and her general elf royalty princessyiness to a love of gangbangs with random people, and use LUST to get her to get it on with the party.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:02 No.3718042
    >>3718038
    She might love a straight man who's willing to make awkward sacrifices to help out a devout follower of her god, though!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:03 No.3718046
    >>3718040
    Incompetent does not imply unattractive any more than competent implies attractive.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)06:04 No.3718048
         File :1234695851.png-(38 KB, 600x400, HEART OF THE CARDS.png)
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    >>3718000
    >>3718005
    >>3718011
    Aldwin activates SESSION POWER: HEART OF THE CARDS! This powerful ability lets him look through the top five cards of the deck for any card he wants, and puts the rest on the bottom of the deck.

    YOUR CHOICES, YOU MUST USE ONE.
    BETRAYAL
    LUST
    RAGE
    PEACE
    SLEEP
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:04 No.3718052
    >>3718048
    SLEEP!
    Steal Wood.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:05 No.3718053
    >>3718048
    LUST
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:05 No.3718057
    >>3718048
    RAGE of course
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:05 No.3718059
    >>3718048
    Lust. Definitely Lust.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:05 No.3718061
    >>3718048
    SLEEP

    SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:06 No.3718064
    >>3718048
    Keep LUST: Use on QUEEN. Give her GARELF.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:06 No.3718068
    Sleep+Steal Wood+Garrelf's 'Worst Nightmare' skill and then teleport out with the wood. Aldwin and Lily sneak dat shit.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:07 No.3718071
    >>3718048
    Safest bet is to use lust on self. He might hate himself later, but he will go through with it.

    Less safe, use lust on queen.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:07 No.3718073
    Um....Aldwin's god is cool with him "getting it on" with the same gender, right? If so, have him imagine his happy place, and get it on with Garrelf.

    ...I am so going to hell for this.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:08 No.3718078
    >>3718052
    >>3718061
    Sleep seems like a bad idea, the queen needs to allow the harvest first or we end up fighting everyone anyways.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)06:09 No.3718079
         File :1234696146.png-(33 KB, 600x400, cardtoss.png)
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    Card selected! Target: QUEEN.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:09 No.3718081
    bah, we are a thief, therfore our mission is to aquire obscene wealth, a tree of this wood sounds like enough to be nicely wealthy, perhaps let us aquire some nice enchanted weapons back in town.

    use lust on self, get jiggy with it.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:09 No.3718083
    >>3718048

    Lust yourself out, if your god's cool getting it on with the same gender. There's probably a card that erases select memory anyway. Maybe.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:10 No.3718088
    >>3718078
    Exactly. If we do anything other than go along, we have a whole elf nation on our hands.

    Lust on self if we can stomach it, and on queen if we're more willing to gamble with our lives than our sexuality.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:11 No.3718095
    >>3718079

    Why do I have a bad feeling about this?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:11 No.3718097
    >>3718079
    BRACE FOR IMPACT
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:11 No.3718098
    ...ACK! what card did we use!?!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)06:11 No.3718100
         File :1234696284.png-(14 KB, 600x400, A39.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:11 No.3718104
    >>3718079
    Oh fuck, is that lust or sleep?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:12 No.3718110
    >>3718079
    BigmoneybigmoneybigmoneynowhammySTOP
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:12 No.3718111
    F5F5F5F5F5.gif
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:13 No.3718118
    >>3718100
    Is that the queen on him?
    ..Hmm I get the feeling he was the one she really thought was cute. This should be interesting.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)06:14 No.3718121
         File :1234696449.png-(26 KB, 600x400, A40.png)
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    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:14 No.3718126
    >>3718121

    Thank god it's lust. Still gonna get weird(er) though.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:15 No.3718127
    >>3718121
    Offer to satisfy her newfound sexual needs for the wood.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:16 No.3718131
    >>3718121
    Oooooh dear....
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:16 No.3718132
    >>3718121
    She is going to rape Lily... isn't she?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:16 No.3718133
    >>3718121
    Lets hope she isn't into loli.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:16 No.3718134
    Keep her away from Lily! Take it for the team Aldwin!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:16 No.3718136
    >>3718118
    >>3718121
    Guess I was off, seems lilys hat fell off in the commotion.
    No less interesting though.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:16 No.3718137
    >>3718127

    Failing that, go with her original offer, but invite her to join in.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:17 No.3718142
    >>3718134
    I'd rather garrelf took this one
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:17 No.3718143
    >>3718127
    This.


    Giggity.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)06:18 No.3718146
         File :1234696687.png-(50 KB, 600x400, A41.png)
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    >>3718118
    That is Aldwin hiding.

    The queen dispels her illusion, and forcibly takes Garrelf. Aldwin flees to safety.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:18 No.3718148
    >>3718121
    Guys. This is the queen, but she's still a little girl. Pedophilia has to be illegal in elfland.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:18 No.3718150
    >>3718127
    Perfect!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:19 No.3718157
    >>3718146
    Aha she is not so little. Well this works out fine then :D
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:19 No.3718158
    >>3718146
    Take the tree when she's busy molesting Garrelf.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:19 No.3718159
    >>3718064
    Victory for me!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:20 No.3718163
    >>3718146
    Oh sweet lord. I only pray that Beardbeard has not gotten sick of waiting, slaughtered his way in here, and is about to walk in on this... DISGUSTING display of Elf Sex.

    We would all be killed by the RAGE.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:20 No.3718167
    >>3718146

    Oh my, it appears to be RAPE O' CLOCk.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:21 No.3718170
    >>3718146
    Aldwin and Lily should watch though. For... safety reasons.

    Also, what is the duration on this effect? Could be troublesome if she snaps out of it.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)06:21 No.3718171
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    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:21 No.3718176
    >>3718148
    I'm pretty sure pedophilia is NOT looked down upon in Elven society.

    Cover Lily's eyes.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:21 No.3718177
    Grab the wood

    Come back just in time to get Garrelf midcoitus.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:22 No.3718179
    >>3718163
    I shat myself in terror.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:22 No.3718182
    >>3718171
    Um. This is not a bad result, but it may or may not get her to actually give us QUEST ITEM when she is finished. Any thoughts on what to do in the meantime?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:22 No.3718184
    >>3718171
    She's pretty strong
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:23 No.3718187
    Salute Garrelf!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:23 No.3718188
    >>3718170
    >Also, what is the duration on this effect? Could be troublesome if she snaps out of it.

    By the time the card's effects wear off, she'll be naked with Garreld and pretty horny by her own account already: The card was only needed for the trigger.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:24 No.3718197
    >>3718182
    Garrelf is a stud (for an elf type), so she'll be happy enough I think.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:27 No.3718213
    >>3718182
    >Any thoughts on what to do in the meantime?

    Grab the wood, make a run for it.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:27 No.3718216
    >>3718171
    Calling it now, shes going to get knocked up.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:28 No.3718219
    AUTOSAGIN'!
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:28 No.3718221
    >>3718213
    That would ruin our chances of getting out of this with reputation semi-intact.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:29 No.3718225
    >>3718216
    I think elves ovulate about once a decade. And they probably don't get horny that often either, she may just thank us for all this.

    Aldwin should try to collect on that wood if possible, or at least locate it.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:30 No.3718227
    >>3718221
    We're chaotic, we don't care about reputation. Also, so is the girl we're trying to impress.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:31 No.3718234
    >>I think elves ovulate about once a decade

    ...assuming no magical assistance, which this probally counts as.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:32 No.3718235
    Wait, where is Lily now?
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:32 No.3718236
    We probably won't need to steal the wood: The queen will probably give it to Garrelf as a reward after this, unless he's a really bad lover.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:33 No.3718241
    it would seem they're going to get more "wood" than they had expected
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)06:34 No.3718244
         File :1234697642.png-(68 KB, 600x400, dorf DRAGON.png)
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    >>3718242 New Thread
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:34 No.3718245
    >>3718227
    What does being chaotic have to do with caring about reputation? It just means that we don't care much about the rules; we can still want to have people think well of us. If anything, a good reputation is the strongest weapon in a chaotic character's arsenal socially, because it lets them do all kinds of shit and have people forgive them for it.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:34 No.3718248
    >>3718236
    Garrelf may have gotten a new body but he's still part DORF! and therfore has enough stamina to keep the queen happy for the next three days non-stop.
    >> Anonymous 02/15/09(Sun)06:34 No.3718249
    >>3718234
    Naw dude, horny =/= fertile
    Plus Garrelf isn't a regular elf anymore so they may be incompatible. And even if it did happen, I bet anything there is a morning after spell for that.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 02/15/09(Sun)06:35 No.3718253
         File :1234697722.png-(61 KB, 600x400, notacloneIswear.png)
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    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3718242/

    Archive of the next part!



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