>>3599161
Brings new meaning to the phrase "The Hills are alive... with music"

and by alive I mean the local area has turned into an unholy chaos infested caricature of itself.

I can't wait for CATS.

Hell, Jesus Christ Superstar would be made of LOL too.

Musicals and plays? I'm sorry, but that just sounds sad.

Now excuz me, fer Orkz be made fer ROKKIN.

OLIVERTUS!

"Starch fabulous starch! Made from the finest corpses!"

>>3599224
YOU ARE NOW PICTURING "DIS IZ SPOINAL TAPPA", starring NOIGEL TUFFNOB.

I am the very model of a modern Governor-General
I've information alien, daemonic, and heretical
I know the Lords of Terra, and I quote the fights historical
From Isstavan to Damocles, in order categorical

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters Commessirial
I'm executing cowards, both the traitor and heretical
About our heavy armour I'm teeming with a lot o' news
I lost the hundred baneblades which we always could have used.

[CHORUS]
You lost the hundred baneblades which we always could have used.
You lost the hundred baneblades which we always could have used.
You lost the hundred baneblades which we always could have should have *BLAM*

I'm very good at reciting Lectio Divinatus
I know the scientific names of beings daemonicculous
In short, in matters alien, daemonic, and heretical
I am the very model of a modern Governor-General

[CHORUS]
In short, in matters alien, daemonic, and heretical
He is the very model of a modern Governor-General

I know our mythic history, Sanguinus's and Saint Malcador's
I answer hard Sudoku, I've a pretty taste for paradox
I persecute the Eldar for the crime of looking fabulous
I'm pimping Battle Sisters and their Saint, miraculous!

>>3599241
win, have an internet

>>3599179
>Jesus Christ Superstar
Just switch out Judas for Horus and Jesus for the Emperor and you have a delightfully blasphemous show.

>>3599236
SPOINAL TAPPA fag checking in with amusing 'shit I'm tired' quote:

"Oi, Tuffnob, why'z dis amp go up t' 'leven?"
"Cuz it's loud 'nuff ta krump anybody who finks we don't play good music, like"
"But why doncha just make ten more 'ard?"
"Cuz den it wouldn' go up t' 'leven, ya git! Stop muckin' about an' get back to foighting, we has rokkin ta do!"

>>3599277
I am now picturing Ted Neely as the Emperor.

And that deep-voiced guy with the big hat as Tzeentch.

ROCK ON.

>>3599287
Slaanesh

>>3599334
But how to fit in Pilate...
So far Jesus Christ Super-GodEmperor makes me laugh, Anon.

Macbeth is about the horus heresey.

Macbeth is Horus.

Macduff is the emperor.

>>3599373
Then who the fuck is Duncan?

Oh god. Two high-ranking but penniless Imperial nobles put on the worst musical in the Imperium: Springtime For Horus.

Guards

The story of a Former Necromunda hive gang (The Jellicles) turned regiment who must seek out a rogue psyker to bring pack their old gang leader Deuteronomy, who has been captured by the forces of Chaos.

>>3599424
FUND IT!

>>3599388
That's heresey! There is no duncan!

>>3599409
It's unexpected success brings the attention of the Inquisition.

>>3599409

Ends with them being tried for heresy and found 'incredibly guilty'. Both are summarily executed, but their show runs for years as a brilliant piece of imperium propaganda that makes Horus look like an idiot.

Adams: I can just imagine... Alright, what burning issue are we voting on this time?

On whether or not to grant General Washingtonius' request that all members of the Imperial Guard be required to wear matching uniforms.

John Adams: Oh by the Emperor.

*travels downstairs to the assembly hall*

Adams: I have come to the conclusion that ONE useless man is called a disgrace, that two are called a law firm, and that three or more become a congress!

"For 10 years, The corrupt Planetary Govenor George and his Parliament have gulled, cullied and diddled our towns with their illegal taxes and violations-- Seal Acts, Townsend Acts, Purity Acts, Tea Acts,"

and when we dared stand up like men against their immoral behavior they have stopped our trade, seized our ships, blockaded our ports, burned our towns, and spilled our BLOOD! And still, this Congress refuses to grant ANY of my proposals on independence, even so much as the courtesy of open debate! By the Emperor, what in hell are you waiting for?

>>3599464
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HD1x_kZRQQ&
Skip to 1:52

>>3599464
41776?

Fund that shit too.

>>3599424
The Jellicle song for Jellicle Guard?

Heresy.

:3

>>3599409
Oh god, BRILLIANT. They even find a pathetic cultist who writes the thing. He tries to sneak in language for a demon rite, but is such a failure that it ends in HILARITY (except for the 1-5 fat useless nobles who get eaten by a daemon).

CHORUS:
Terra was having trouble
What a sad, sad story
Needed a new leader to restore
Its former glory
Where, oh, where was he?
Where could that man be?
We looked around and then we found
The man for you and me
LEAD TENOR STORMTROOPER:
And now it's...
Springtime for Horus and Terra
The Imperium is happy and gay!
We're marching to a faster pace
Look out, here comes the master race!
Springtime for Horus and Terra

A shiftless trader ends up in a small backwater planet, and schemes to make himself rich by promising to help create a Imperial Marching Band, only to fall in love, and repent for his prior ways.

Well, I should say.
Friends, lemme tell you what I mean.
Ya got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets in a table.
Pockets that mark the diff'rence
Between a gentlemen and a bum,
With a capital "B,"
And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool!

Friends, the idle brain is Chaos's playground!

>>3599464
It's okay Tom, I'll get Adams to write it.
Thomas: I don't know, he had a funny look on his face.
Franklin: He always does.

Adams: Alright Gentlemen, let's get on with it, which one of us will write our declaration of independence?

Franklin:
Mr. Adams, I say you should write it
To your purity and brilliance we defer
Adams:
Is that so? Well, if I'm the one to do it
They'll run their laze pens through it
I'm obnoxious and disliked, you know that, sir
Franklin:
Yes, I know
Adams:
So I say you should write it Franklin, yes you
Franklin:
Hell, no!
Adams:
Yes, you, Dr. Franklin, you
but, you, but, you, but
Franklin:
Mr. Adams, but, Mr. Adams
The things I write are only light extemporania
I won't put politics on paper; it's a mania
So I refuse to use the laze in Lazesylvania

So ya..thought ya..might like to...go to the throne?
To feel the Emperors glory that...Space Marine glow?
I got some bad news for you sunshine.
"John" isn't here, he's off killing Taldeer
So they sent me along as a surrogate man!
We're gonna find out where you troops really stand!

FUKLAW ANAL
FUKLAW ANAL
FUKLAW ANAL
FUKLAW ANAL
FUKLAW ANAL
FUKLAW ANAL

these are a few of my favorite things

A story about Guardsmen on deployment against potential Ork Raids, and the outbreak of a WAAAAAAAGH!

"What ain't we got, we aint got Dames!"

>>3599623
Are there any xenos on terra tonight?
Get 'em up against the wall!!
And that one with long ears, he don't look right!
Get 'em up against the wall!!
and that one looks mutant!! and that ones a Tau!
How'd these riff raff get in her just now?!
There's one worshipping tzeench! and that one's a squat!!

If I had MY way, I'd have all of ya sho

>>3599409

The Crusade was having trouble what a sad, sad story
Needed a new power so our conquest could be gory
Where, oh, where was he?
Where could that man be?
We looked around and then we found
The man for you and me

And now it's...
Springtime for Horus and heresy!
Chaos is happy and gay!
Mutating at a faster pace
Look out, here comes the traitor race!
Springtime for Horus and heresy
Yearning for burning once more!
Springtime for Horus and heresy!
Watch out, Terra
We're going on tour!

Springtime for Horus and Heresy...
CHORUS:
Look, it's springtime
ASPIRING CHAMPION:
Winter for Corax and Kahn
CHORUS AND ASPIRING CHAMPION:
Springtime for Horus and heresy!
CHORUS:
Springtime! Springtime!
Springtime! Springtime!
Springtime! Springtime!
Springtime! Springtime!
ASPIRING CHAMPION:
Come on traitors,
Go into your dance!

>>3599678
Glorious.

The story of a Barber who is conscripted by a corrupted Governor General and his lackey, and returns from the front against the Orkz a bitter and vengeful man.

tl;dr he inadvertenly destroys a chaos cult through his murderous practicies, and then finds peace in death with his wife and in service to the Emperor.

someone want to help me figure out an aesop to be tacked on so the Inquisition doesn't shut it down? Like a lesson for the guard to not become consumed by unvirtuous behavior and heretical thought?

>>3599719

His use of dead bodies as emergency rations proves a valuable lesson to the troops in making full use of the Emperor's resources.

Musical entertainment for the Guard? Okay, but what about Eldar stories as converted Shakespear?

I can already see Othello as played by an Ork. Or perhaps an Eldar as the advisor....or a Chaos Cultist as the advisor....

>>3599757
Lesson for the day: The Emperor provides.

Urchins living in a Hive city, and the Glory of the emperor.
[MR. BUMBLE]
For what you are about to receive
May the Emperor make you truly thankful.

[BOYS]
Amen

[OLIVER]
[spoken] Please, Sir, I want some more.

[MR. BUMBLE]
[spoken] What?!

[OLIVER]
[spoken] Please, Sir, I want some more.

[MR. BUMBLE]
[spoken] More!?

[WIDOW CORNEY]
Catch him!

[MR. BUMBLE]
Snatch him!

[WIDOW CORNEY]
Hold him!

[MR. BUMBLE]
Scold him!

[WIDOW CORNEY]
Pounce him!
Trounce him!
Pick him up and bounce him!

[MR. BUMBLE]
Wait!
Before we put the lad to task
May I be so curious as to ask
His name?

[BOYS (whispering)]
O-li-ver.

[WIDOW CORNEY AND MR. BUMBLE]
Oliver! Oliver!

[MR. BUMBLE]
Never before has a boy wanted more!

[MR. BUMBLE AND WIDOW CORNEY]
Oliver! Oliver!

>>3599373
That could work as a symbolic interpretation, but it would work better as a chaos uprising on a planet, and the men loyal to the emperor casting him out.

>>3599623
>>3599674

Love it.

>>3599623
>>3599674
FUCK YEAR FUND THIS.

TO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! or not to WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

DAT IZ NOT DA QUESHTUN. ORKZ ALWAYS LOOKIN FEr A SKRAP WIT PLENTY O DAKKA.

>>3599870
Shakespear by Orkz. Brilliant.

This thread is WAT?

>>3599840
I can totally imagine it. Just after the death of his kid, and he's catatonic, full of drink and obscura, a lho stick burnt down to his fingers..

But that's no good! So the imperium burst into his room, get him caffed up, slaught'd up, and after some horrifying visions he arrives to his imperial rally on time, his transformation complete.

>>3599409
Oh god, I just had a nerdgasm.

Fuck me but this thread is made of win.

>>lol guys lets take old shit and rehash it into 40k lolol we r so kewl

>>3599868
I would totally draw this, but honestly, I'd want Gannadenne's blessings.

>>3599870
TA GIT SHOOTY OR TA GIT CHOPPY.
*DAT* IS DAT QUESTION.
WEVVER ITZ MORE ORKY TO IGNOOR DER STOOPID PANZY GUNZ, OR TO GO OVER AN CLOBBER 'EM GOOD.

>>3599945
ALAZ POR YORIK, HE GOTZ BLASTED REL GUD!

>>3599945
NAO LADZ, REMEMBA: NEVVA LEND OUT DA TEEF AND DONT BE BORROWN NONE NEIVER, CUZ YA GITS WILL LOSE DA TEEF AN CRUMP DA OVVER BOYZ WUT BORROWED EM TOO.

...EY... YA KNOW... FINKIN' BOUT IT, DAT SOUNDS LIKE A ROIGHT GOOD WAY TO START A SKRAP! LEND OUT DA TEEF WHENEVVA YA WANT, BOYZ!

>>3599970
Spring Time For Horus, >>3599674
>>3599241- Epic
>>3599250 - Modern Governor General
and Orkz doing Shakespear.

This warrants art.

This thread...just wow.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

A Tale of Degeneration and a Warning Against the Lure of Chaos.

In sleep he sang to me,
in dreams he came ...
that voice which calls to me and speaks my name ...

And do
I dream again?
For now
I find Tzeenetch of the Chaos is there - inside my mind ...

Mekboy On Da Hut - A story of Tevzog, a Warboss on a crashed hulk and his attempts to maintain his WAAAGH and orky way of life while outside influences encroach upon their lives.


“A mek-boy on da hut. Sounds a bit daft, yer? But 'ere, on our stinkin' planet of Gorkamorka, youz moight say we'z all mek-boyz on da hut, tryin' ta clobber toogever a deffgun wivout breakin' our necks."

WHAZ DAT WEH CALLIN? DAT WICH WE CALL WARRGH BE ANY ALSE WUD BE AS GUD

*stamp*

---OFFICIAL SEAL OF WIN---

>>3600097


Sing once again with me our strange duet ...
My power over you grows stronger yet ...

And though you turn from me,
to glance behind,
the Tzeenetch of the Chaos is there - inside your mind ..
Those who have seen your face draw back in fear ...
I am the mask you wear ...

It's me they hear ...

Your/My spirit and my/your voice in one
combined: the Tzeenetch of the Chaosis there - inside your/my mind ...

He's there,
the Tzeenetch of the Chaos ...
Beware the Tzeenetch of the Chaos ...

In all your fantasies,
you always knew that man and mystery ...

... were both in you ...

And in this labyrinth where night is blind,
the Tzeenetch of the Chaos is there/here - inside your/my mind ...

>>3600177
>>3600097

Fail. Most of the others are good though.

>>3600078

Brad= Liivii
Janet= Taldeer
Frank= Slaanesh
Rocky= Fulgrim
Dr Scott= Emperor
Columbia= The Dancer
Riff= Fabius Bile
Magenta= Wych or a Cultist
Eddie= Doomrider
Criminologist= Necron

Grease with an all-techpriest cast. Fuck year, techpriest greasers.

>>3600177
Phantom? Really?

Now.... what would Dr. Horrible be like? A Tek-Priest, or just crazy scientist trying to prove his worth to the Chaos Gods, but constantly being undone by that Blockhead UltraMarine?

>>3600237
Towards the climax of the movie, they race the rival Gang's titan.

>>3600237
Beauty School Drop Out.

Greased Lightning.

FOR ORKS.

Little Shop of Horrors...

Oh goddamn you /tg/, I'm infected.

>>3600265
DIS TRUKK BE SYST-- SYSTAMA-- IZ BE GUD

>>3600272
You'll be a teeechpriest!
You'll be a success!

>>3600290
Go greezed litning ya' burnin up da quata mile.
Go greezed litning ya' coasting thru da flak-trak trial.

>>3600311
I started laughing and now I can't stop. Oh god I can't stop. Help me.

>>3600113

If I wuz a rich nob,
Gorka morka morka, dakka dakka zoggin’ zoggin’ zed.
All day long Oi'd be crushin’ sum ‘eads.
If I wuz a wealfy nob.
Oi wouldn’t ‘ave to bash grots.
Gorka morka morka, dakka dakka zoggin’ zoggin’ zed.
If I were a toothy toothy rich,
Choppy-toofy-stompy-stompy nob.

I'd build a ‘uge gargant and kans by da dozen,
Roight in da middle of da hulk.
Wiv armour plates an’ grot riggers down below.
Dere would be one long gun arm, all shooty like
And one ta chop those t’ings wot skulk,
And one more wiv a banner, just for show!

I'd fill mah pens wiv squigs an ‘umies an fings and grots
Fer da boyz to see and ‘ear.
Screamin’ very noisily just becoz .
Wiv each loud "AHHH!" "EMPERA’ NO!!" "*gurgle*" "*STOMP*"
as a boy lops off d’ere ears,
Will let dem know "’ere lives a wealfy boss."

If I wuz a rich nob,
Gorka morka morka, dakka dakka zoggin’ zoggin’ zed.
All day long Oi'd be crushin’ sum ‘eads.
If I wuz a wealfy nob.
Oi wouldn’t ‘ave to bash grots.
Gorka morka morka, dakka dakka zoggin’ zoggin’ zed.
If I were a toothy toothy rich,
Choppy-toofy-stompy-stompy nob.

>>3600341
I now Demand Fan-Art of Mekboy on Da Roof, and Springtime for Horus.

>>3600330
I'm on a roll today! First the fuklaw thing, now this.

ARCHIVE THIS SHIT FOR NURGLES SAKE!

>>3600246

Stand back Everyone,
Nothin here to see
Just imminent heresy
In the middle of it, me

Yes Captain Lysander’s here
Hammer glowing in the Breeze
The day needs my saving expertise

A marine’s gotta do what a marine’s gotta do
Tzeentch's destiny ends with me maiming you
The only doom that’s riding is you begging me for death
So I’ll give you a sec before your death..

<Tzeench> Balls.

I'm giggling like a school girl at the thought of Space Marines reenacting Spamalot.

From the world where I was born.
There came a man, from outer space.
And He called us to his side.
To defend the human race.

And his name was Rogal Dorn.
And in His image, we were reborn.
And we strode the battle scenes.
As the Yellow Space Marines.

>>3600394
Oh lord.

Look at you people amazing how Sheep'll show up for the slaughter.... no one condeming you lined up like lemmings you lead to the water.....why can't they see what I see ,why can't they hear the lies?

Maybe the Fees too pricey for them to realize

Your disguise is slipping.

I think you're slipping.

>>3600408

You are now imagining all Imperial Fists speaking with Ringo's Liverpool monotone.

>>3600424

Go ahead run away!
This eye is terrible
spread the word tell a friend
tell them the tale

get a pict tell a 'path
The Emperor is over with
look at him not a word
Lysander meets fail!

then I win then I get
everything I ever
all the gilt all the hives
and souls for change

anarchy that I run
it’s Tzeench’s turn
your lives will all re-arrange
this world is going to change! change! (yeah it’s two E’s, T-Z-E-E yeah right) change!

no sigh of the fists good
I would give anything not to have them see

it’s gonna be bloody head up Khorne my buddy
there’s no time for mercy

here goes no mercy– *chainsaw whirring*

......That’s not a good sound

- Antony

I have sailed the stars
beheld its wonders
from the dardinells,
to the gates of Tannhauser,
But there's no place like Cadia!
I feel home again...
I could hear the Kasr bells ring...
Whatever would I do?
No there's...

- Sweenus Todd

No place like Cadia...

- Antony

Mr. Todd, sir

- Sweenus Todd

You are young...
Life has been kind to you...
You will learn.
'Tis here we go our seperate ways.
Farewell Antony.
I will not soon forget the good ship bountiful, nor the young man who saved my life.

- Antony

There's no cause to thank me for that, sir.
It would have been a poor rating indeed who would have spotted you pinching and tossing in that craft and not given the alarm.

- Sweenus Todd

There's many a Imperial citizen would've done just that and not lost a winks sleep over it either. Farewell, Antony.

- Antony

Mr. Todd, before we part...

- Sweenus Todd

What is it?

- Antony

I have honored my promise never to question you.
Whatever brought you to that sorry spacehulk is your affair and yet, over
many months of our voyage home,
I've come to think of you as a friend,
and if trouble lies ahead for you in Cadia, if you
need any help...or credit.

>>3600491

- Sweenus Todd

No!

There's a whole in the sky like a great black pit
and the vermin of creation inhabit it
and its morals aren't worth what a pin can spit
and it goes by the name of the Cadian Gate.
At the top of the hole sit the previlaged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lonely zoo
turning beauty to filth and greed...
I too have sailed the stars and seen its wonders,
for the cruelty of men is as wonderous as Tannhauser
but there's no place like Cadia!

There was an scholar and his wife
and she was beautiful...
a foolish scholar and his wife.
She was his reason for his life...
and she was beautiful, and she was virtuous.
And he was nieve.
There was another man who saw
that she was beautiful...
A biased vulture of the law
who, with a gesture of his claw
removed the scholar from his plate!
And there was nothing but to wait!
And she would fall!
So soft!
So young!
So lost and oh so beautiful!

- Antony

The lady, sir, did she, sir, come?

- Sweenus Todd

Ah, that was many years ago...
I doubt if anyone would know.
Now leave me, Antony.
There is somewhere I must go,
something i must find out.
Now, and alone.

- Antony

But surely we will meet again before I am off to the Gate?

- Sweenus Todd

If you want you may well find me around Fleet Street. I wouldn't wander.
There's a hole in the sky like a great black pit
and it's filled with people who are filled with shit!
And the vermin of the world inhabit it!

Times have changed,
our soldier's are getting worse
They won't obey their orders they just wan't to fart and curse

Should we blame the officers?
Or blame the plaguing pox?

Or should
we blame the images on vox?


No,blame Cadia, blame Cadia
With all their purple little eyes and their packed heads so full of lies, blame Cadia, blame Cadia,
we need to form a full assault, it's Cadia fault

>>3600455

Better: A weedy, but gifted mekboy tries to impress Da Warboss in the hopes of joining the 'ardest mob in the WAAAGH, but is perpetually outdone by a particularly flashy Nob. The mekboy finally gets the upper hand against said Nob, but ends up inadvertently killing Da Warboss and is promptly hailed as Da 'Ardest Mek Evva.

Archive this shit at once.

Lets get down ta bizness
Ya wanna shoot ya toyz?
Did they send me squiqz?
When I asked fa boyz?
You're da saddest bunch
I eva met
But ya can bet
Befur we're thru
Grot, I'll make a slogga
outta you

Tranquil as da forest
But on fire within
Once ya find ya dakka,
you are sure ta win
Ya a spineless, pale
pathetic lot
And ya haven't got a clue
Somehow I'll makea slogga
outta you

I'm neva gonna catch
muh breath
Gunna slog all you 'umies
Boy, are you a fool for cuttin' 'im
Dis boss has us scared ta death!
Hope he doesn't shoot
right thru me
I really wish I knew howta swim

(Be an ork)
We must be as fast as da
zoggin' river
(Be an ork)
With all da force
of da great gargant
(Be an ork)
With all the strength
of a bigga shoota
Ready for da biggest WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH OF ALL.

>>3600559
OH FUCKING LAWDY
MULAN!?
NOTHINGS SAFE

Sum thin's in life is bad
Dey cans REALLY make you'se mad
Otha thin's just make ya swear and waaaagh.
When you'se chewin' on grot gristle
Don't grumble! give a WAAAAGH!!
And we'lls help tins turn out for da boss...

And...always look on da bright side of ORK...
Always look on da waaagh side of ORK...

If life is bloody rott-en!
Dere's somethin' you've forgots!
And dat's to laugh and chop and dakka and maim.
When you'se feeling in da dumps
Don't bes a daft Grot!
Just purse your lips and WAAAAAAGH - that's the ting!

And...always look on da bright side of ORK...
Always look on da waaaaaagh side of ORK...

For 'umies are absurd
But we's get da final word
You'se gotsta face da curtain with a growl.
Forget about your gob! - give the lotta dem a mob!
Enjoy it - it's yer last chance fer an hour!

So always look on da waaaaagh side of ORK!
Just before days give theres terminal jerk

Dis Waaagh's a piece of shit
Dis warboss can't do it
Dis waaaagh a laugh and but da fight's a joke, it's true.
You'se wanna see a show?
I'll lead use's laughing as we go
Just remember that da last laugh is on you.

And always look on da bright side of ORK...
Always look on da WAAAAAAGH side of ORK...

Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

...

I've got nothing.

some one post that Orkified version of Be Prepared

So long a thread, and yet, nobody has even mentioned Inquisitor Frollo...

>>3600714

Well, we'll have to correct that won't we!

Choir Servitors
Confiteor Deo Omnipotenti (I confess to God almighty)
Beatae Dominica semper Virgini (To blessed Dominica ever Virgin)
Beato Malacdori archangelo (To the blessed archangel Malacdor)
Sanctis primarchi omnibus sanctis (To the holy primarchs, to all the saints)

Inquisitor Frollo
Sancta Imperetor
You know I am a righteous man
Of my virtue I am justly proud

Choir Servitors Et tibit Pater (And to you, Father)

Inquisitor Frollo
Sancta Imperetor
You know I'm so much purer than
The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd

Choir Servitors
Quia peccavi nimis (That I have sinned)

Inquisitor Frollo
Then tell me, Imperetor
Why I see her dancing there
Why her smold'ring eyes still scorch my soul

Choir Servitors
Cogitatione (In thought)

Inquisitor Frollo
I feel her, I see her
The sun caught in warping hair
Is blazing in me out of all control

Choir Servitors
Verbo et opere (In word and deed)

Inquisitor Frollo
Like fire
Warpfire
This fire in my skin
This burning
Desire
Is turning me to sin...

I had him!
His throat was there beneath my hand.
No, I had him!
His throat was there and now he'll never come again.
Mrs. Lovett: Easy now, hush love hush
I keep telling you, Whats your rush?
Todd: When? Why did I wait?
You told me to wait -
Now he'll never come again.
There's a hole in the void like a great black pit
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
And the vermin of the stars inhabit it.
But not for long...

They all deserve to die.
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because in all of the whole human race
Mrs. Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two
There's the one staying put in his proper place
And the one with his foot in the other one's face
Look at me, Mrs Lovett, look at you.

No, we all deserve to die
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief
For the rest of us death will be a relief
We all deserve to die.

And I'll never see Johanna
No I'll never hug my girl to me - finished!
Alright! You sir, you sir, how about a shave?
Come and visit your good friend Sweeney.
You sir, too sir? Welcome to the grave.

I will have vengenance.
I will have salvation.
Who sir, you sir?
No ones in the chair, Come on! Come on!
Sweeney's. waiting. I want you bleeders.
You sir! Anybody!
Gentlemen now don't be shy!

Not one man, no, nor ten men.
Nor a hundred can assuage me.
I will have you!
And I will get him back even as he gloats
In the meantime I'll practice on less honorable throats.
And my Lucy lies in ashes
And I'll never see my girl again.

But the work waits!
I'm alive at last!
And I'm full of joy!

>>3600670
[Ghazghkull]
I NEVA FOUGHT YA GROTS WUZ ESSETCHUL

YOUZ RUNTY, AN' UNSPEEKABLY WEAK

BUT ME FINKS YOUZ GOT SUM POTENTCHUL

IF WAAGH IS WOT YOU REELY SEEK


[Ghazghkull]
'S KLARE FROM YER VAKANT EXPRESHUNS

DA ORK IS NOT ALL ON OP’STARES

BUT WEZ TALKIN' BOSSES AN' SUCCESSUNS

EVA YOUZ KENT BE CUGHT UNAWARES!


[Ghazghkull]
SO PREPARE FOR DA FIGHT OVVA LOIFETIME

PREPARE FOR SENSHANAL NEWS

A SHINY NEW ERA

‘S STOMPIN’ NEARA


[Boyz]
But ‘ere getting shot op!

[Ghazghkull]
JUS’ LISSIN YA SQUIG GOB!


[Ghazghkull]
AH KNO DIS SOUNDS SORTID,

BUT YOUZ GON BE REWARDID

WHEN AT LAST AH'M GIVVIN MY TEEF

WAAAAGH WE FINALY DARED

BE PREPARED!!!

[Boyz]
Yeah! Be prepared! Wez gon be prepared! ...Fer wot?

[Ghazghkull]
DEFF OV DA BOSS!

[Boyz]
Why? Did da boss say so?

[Ghazghkull]
NO YA GROTS, SES MORK. AN' GORK TOO!

[Boyz]
Great ideah! Who ned a boss! No Boss! No Boss!

Waagh--Waagh-Waagh--Waaagh-Waaagh!

[Ghazghkull]
IDIUTS! DERE WILL BE A BOSS!

[Boyz]
But youz sed...

[Ghazghkull]
AH WILL BE BOSS! WAAAGH WIW ME AND YOUZ NEVA GON BE KRAMPED AGAIN!

[Boyz]
Yay! Awwwwwwroight! 'ail to da Boss!

[Chorus]
'AIL TO DA BOSS

'AIL TO DA BOSS!!!

SEEMS DAT WE'LL SOON BE KONNEKTID

TO A BOSS WHO'LL BE ALL TIME ADORD


[Ghazghkull]
OV’KOURSE, KVID PRO KVO, YOUZ EXPECTID

TO BRING CERTAIN DUTYZ ONBOARD

DA FUCHA IZ LITTERD WIW TROPHIES

AN DOUGH BIGGEST BOSS AH 'ILL BE

DA POINT DAT AH MUST EMFASAZ ES:

YA WON'T GET TA WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH WIWOUT ME!!!!

>>3600839

Inquisitor Frollo: It's not my fault

Choir Servitors: Mea culpa (Through my fault)

Inquisitor Frollo: I'm not to blame

Choir Servitors: Mea culpa (Through my fault)

Inquisitor Frollo: It is the psyker girl
The witch who sent this flame

Choir Servitors: Mea maxima culpa (Through my most griveous fault)

Inquisitor Frollo: It's not my fault

Choir Servitors: Mea culpa (Through my fault)

Inquisitor Frollo: If in Your plan

Choir Servitors: Mea culpa (Through my fault)

Inquisitor Frollo: You made the daemons so much
Stronger than a man

Choir Servitors: Mea maxima culpa (Through my most griveous fault)

Inquisitor Frollo: Protect me, Imperetor
Don't let this siren cast her spell
Don't let her fire sear my flesh and bone
Destroy Es'meralda
And let her taste the fires of hell
Or else let her be mine and mine alone

Stormtrooper: Inquisitor Frollo, the heretic has escaped
Inquisitor Frollo: What?
Stormtrooper: No longer in the Fortress. She's gone
Inquisitor Frollo: But how? Never mind. Get out, you idiot
I'll find her. I'll find her if I have to burn down the entire sector

Warpfire
Dark fire
Now psyker, it's your turn
Choose me or
Your pyre
Be mine or you will burn

Choir Servitors: Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy)

Inquisitor Frollo: Emperor have mercy on her

Choir Servitors: Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy)

Inquisitor Frollo: Emperor have mercy on me

Choir Servitors: Kyrie Eleison (Lord have mercy)

Inquisitor Frollo: But she will be mine
Or she will burn!

[Ghazghkull]
SO GIT PREPARED FOR DA WAAAAAAGH OV’ DA CENTURY!
[Chorus]
(Oooh!)
[Ghazghkull]
BE PREPARED FOR DA BRUTALEST KUNNIN
[Chorus]
(Oooh Waagh, Waagh, Waagh!)
[Ghazghkull]
MASSIVELY CHOPPY!
[Chorus]
(We’ll haf Waagh!)
[Ghazghkull]
DED BIG AN’SHOOTY!
[Chorus]
(En’less Waagh!)
[Ghazghkull]
CRED’IBLY STOMPY!
[Chorus]
(‘Ere we go!)
[Ghazghkull]
WILL MAKE SURE THAT ME!
[Chorus]
(Fo’ da Waagh!)
[Ghazghkull]
BE DA BOSS UNDISPUTED
[Chorus]
(Aaaaaaah...)
[Ghazghkull]
RESPECTID, SALUTID
[Chorus]
(...aaaaaaah!)
[Ghazghkull]
AN' SEEN FER DA BOSS DAT AH AM
[Chorus]
(Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo)
[Ghazghkull]
YES MA' CHOPPAS AN SHOOTAS ARE BEARED BE PREPARED!!!

[All]
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

The last few posts have been the most brilliant and most fucked up crossover i've ever had the pleasure to read.

Hi-diddle-dee-dee
An Harlequin's life for me
A great big mask and a silver sword
A craftworld dance and a laughing lord!

Hi-diddle-dee-day
A Harlequin's life is gay
It's great to be a celebrity
A Harlequin's life for me!

Hi-diddle-dee-dum
An Harlequin's life is fun
A webway walk in a fancy cloak
A monofilament gun and magic smoke

Hi-diddle-dee-dum
A Harlequin's life is fun
You wear your hair in a giant crest
You can leap around and impress the rest
You fight off chaos - it's the ultimate test!
A Harlequin's life for me!

Lez git down ta bizness!
Smash'n Stompz, yaz foes,
Di' dey sendz me snotlings?
Wen I azked fer Boyz?
Youz da weakest gitz
I'z ever met!
But yiz can bet
Before we'z troo...
Gretchez, I'll, make an Ork
outta youz!

Stompy az an Ork god!
But wid kunnin' too
If youz got da dakka
Youz iz sure, ta win!
Youz a shorty big'ead
pathetic git.
And youz 'avent got a kloo.
Sum'ow I'll make an Ork
Outta youz!

Shoota Boy - I ain't nevva gonna get ta fight!

Stormboy - Sey goodbye ta Da Boyz for me!

Grot - Wy wuz I a fool in skool fer cuttin' Gym!?

Vindicare - ... *Bzzt* This Nob's got 'em
scared to death...

Calidus - ...*Bzzt* Hope he doesn't see
right through me...

Burna Boy: Now I really wantz ta burn myself sum 'umies

>>3601098
(Be an ork!)
We'z be as quick az
da mekkboy's bike!
(Be an ork!)
Wiff all da smash
of da killa kan
(Be an ork!)
With all da strengf
of a ragin' warboss
Az Sneeky az
Kommando gitz demselves!

Gotz no time fer wastin'
'Coz Da WAAAAAAAAAAGH iz on!
Lissen here, ya lunkhedz,
And yaz might live on!
You'z a gretchin' wiff no
WAAAAAAAAGH in youz
So go'n scram, git out,
you'z throo!
'ow could I make an Ork
Outta youz?

(Be an ork!)
We'z be az quick az
da mekkboyz bike!
(Be an ork!)
Wiff all da smash
of da killa kan
(Be an ork!)
With all the strengf
of a ragin' Warboss,
Az sneeky az
Kommando gitz demselves!

(Be an ork!)
We'z be az quick az
da mekkboyz bike!
(Be an ork!)
Wiff all da smash
of da killa kan
(Be an ork!)
With all the strengf
of a ragin' Warboss,
Az sneeky az
Kommando gitz demselves!

It's Disney but still valid, right? And it has been posted on /tg/ before...

Move out
Move out
And keep a watchful eye
Move out
Move out
You fight until you die
The sun beats down
It's hot as hell below
Move out
Move out
You've six more fights to go
I did no wrong
Emperor hear my prayer!
Move out
Move out
The Emp'ror doesn't care
These 'nids are doomed!
I know my aim is true!
Move out
Move out
They'll melt you into goo
Move out
Move out
And keep a watchful eye!
They shot my gut
When will I fin'ly die?
Move out
Move out
If Guardsmen misbehave
Move out
Move out
They march on to their graves

[Commissar:] The Nid's will make off with your children. They'll come for them day or night.
[Commissar:] We're not safe untill thier heads line the hive wall! I say we kill the Nids!
[Cityfolk:] Kill them!
[Man I:] We're not safe until they're dead
[Man II:] Lictors come stalking us at night
[Woman:] Cultists sacrifice our children to their monstrous appetite!
[Man III:] They'll wreak havoc on our hiveworld if we let them wander free
[Commissar:] So it's time to take some action, boys, It's time to follow me!
Through the hive
Through the warp
Through the darkness and the shadows
It's a nightmare but it's one exciting ride
Say a prayer
Then we're there
It the darkness of the underhive
And there's something truly terrible inside!

It's a Nid!
It's got fangs
Razor sharp ones
Massive horns
Killer claws for the feast
Hear them roar
See them foam
But we're not coming home
'Til they're dead
Good and dead!
Kill the Nids!
[Sister Hospitallier:] No! I won't let you do this!
[Commissar:] If you're not with us, you're against us! *BLAM!* Bring the old man!
[Planetary Governor:] Get your hands off me!
[Commissar:] We can't have them running off to warn the creatures!
[Commissar:] We'll rid the hive of the Tyranid!. Who's with me?
[PDF:] I am! I am! I am!
Charge your lasgun
Mount your Russ
[Commissar:] Screw your courage to the sticking place
[PDF:] We're counting on The Emperor to lead the way
Through the hive
Through the warp
Where within the murky underhive
Something's lurking that you don't see ev'ry day
It's a Fex!
One as tall as a mountain
We won't rest
'Til it's good and deceased
Sally forth
Tally ho
Grab your sword
Grab bolters
Praise the Emperor and here we go!
[Commissar:] We'll lay siege to stealer cultists and bring back there heads!

>>3601140
>>3601136

what is this based off of?

>>3601160

Gaston's Mob Song from Beauty and The Beast. Which raises the interesting question of which side the Sister Hospitallier is on.

>>3600839
>>3600886

This is my next Dark Heresy campaign

>>3601109
Now bring me Trooper 24601
Your time is up
And your parole's begun
You know what that means.


Yes, it means I'm free.

No!
You're just no more
A Penal Legionnairy
You're a coward

I am only a man!

You dropped your gun!

Some shrapnel broke my hand!
It tore off my best friends leg
And he was dying...

I'll shoot you myself
Unless you learn to fight with bravery!

You've seen these last 19 years
You saw my bravery

5 years for what you did
The rest? Insubordination!
Yes, 24601.

My name is Jean Valjean!

Comm'sar Javert!
Do not forget my name!
Do not forget me
24601

I'm trying to do this with Chess, but I've got nothing.

Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

>>3601228
This is the most badass one yet.

>>3601228
[ARBITER ONE]
Tell his reverence your story

[ARBITER TWO]
Let us see if he's impressed

[ARBITER ONE]
You were lodging here last night

[ARBITER TWO]
You were the honest Confessors's guest.

[ARBITER ONE]
And then, out of the Emperor’s goodness

[ARBITER TWO]
When he learned about your plight

[ARBITER ONE]
You maintain he made a present of this relic.

[CONFESSOR]
That is right.
But my friend you left so early
Surely something slipped your mind

[The CONFESSOR gives Valjean two purity seals]

You forgot I gave these also;
Would you leave the best behind?
So, my friends, you may release him
For this man has spoken true.
I commend you for your duty
And Emperor's blessing go with you.

[The ARBITERs leave.]

And remember this, my brother,
See in this some high plan.
You must use this precious relic
To become an honest man.
By the witness of the martyrs,
By the passion and the blood,
Emperor has raised you out of darkness:
I have bought your soul for the Emperor.

>>3600265

Just fer you, ya anoneemus 'umie git.

'Ere dis trukk's automa'ic
Squigomatic
Bossomatic
'Ere, It could be Greasey Loightnin' (Greasy Loightnin'!)

We'll get some overhead gubbinz and big barrel gunz
oh yerh
(Keep talkin' Oi keep talkin')
Fuel squirty fings and red plated bitz oh yerh
(Boss'll get it ready, 'e'll kill to get it ready)
Wiv da pedal-to da floor ya boyz'll be waiting at da door
You know that ain't no shit we'll squishin' loadsa gitz
In Greasey Loightnin'
Wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, waaaaaaaaaaargh!

Oi Greasey Loightnin' you're burnin' through da 'umie miles
(Greasey Loightnin' oi Greasey Loightnin')
Oi greased lightning you're speedin' through da 'eat lap trials
(Greasey Loightnin' oi Greasey Loightnin')
You iz supreme, you'z runts 'll make a scene fer Greasey Loightnin'
Wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, waaaaaaaaaaargh!

"We'll get sum boody 'uge crushers wiv firty inch spoikes"
ya fink?
A shiny 'umie dashboard an' a bi ol' pile o' Dakka
oh yerh
Wiv new pistons, plugs, and wheels an' all da rest dat we can steals,
You know that I ain't bragging, she's a really meant fer fraggin'
Greasey Loightnin'!

Oi Greasey Loightnin' you're burnin' through da 'umie miles
(Greasey Loightnin' oi Greasey Loightnin')
Oi greased lightning you're speedin' through da 'eat lap trials
(Greasey Loightnin' oi Greasey Loightnin')
You iz supreme, you'z runts 'll make a scene fer Greasey Loightnin'

Oi Greasey Loightnin' you're burnin' through da 'umie miles
(Greasey Loightnin' oi Greasey Loightnin')
Oi greased lightning you're speedin' through da 'eat lap trials
(Greasey Loightnin' oi Greasey Loightnin')
You iz supreme, you'z runts 'll make a scene fer Greasey Loightnin'
Loightnin' , loightnin' , loightnin'
Loightnin' , loightnin' , loightnin'
Loightnin'

>>3601267

Do you hear the choirs sing?
Singing a song of angry marines?
It is the music of a chapter
Who will not be raged again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beatings on your head
There is a life about to end
When Astartes comes!

Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
They all know the chainsword's stronger
Because you can't stab with a pen!
For when they give your eyes a rend
Or blow your chest out with boltgun
There is a life about to end
When tomorrow comes!

>>3601289
>>Marines
>>Again

gb2 rhyme school

>>3601288

It 'as come to moi attenshun dat you (>>3600265) 'int akshully an anoneemus 'umie git. Jest a runty little mouses. But yah kan still 'ave it.

>>3601288
Awesome

>>3601287

[VALJEAN]
What have I done?
Sweet Emperor, what have I done?
Become a thief in the night
Become a dog on the run
And have I fallen so far
And is the hour so late
That nothing remains but the cry of my hate,
The cries in the dark that nobody hears,
Here where I stand at the turning of the years?

If there's another way to go
I missed it twenty long years ago
My life was a war that could never be won
They gave me a number and murdered Valjean
When they chained me and left me for dead
For what wasn’t my fault!

Yet why did I allow that man
To touch my soul and teach me love?
He treated me like any other
He gave me his trust
He called me brother
My life he claims for Emperor above
Can such things be?
For I had come to hate this world
This world which had always hated me

Take an eye for an eye!
Turn your heart into stone!
This is all I have lived for!
This is all I have known!

One word from him and I'd be back
Beneath the lash, upon the battlements
Instead he offers me my freedom,
I feel my shame inside me like a knife
He told me that I have a soul,
How does he know?
What spirit comes to move my life?
Is there another way to go?

I am reaching, but I fall
And the warp is closing in
And I stare into the void
To the whirlpool of my sin
I'll escape now from the world
From the world of Jean Valjean
Jean Valjean is nothing now
Another story must begin!

>>3600559
>>3601098
>>3601101


I just shat pretty hard. I wrote those for /tg/! And even though /tg/ wasn't really keen on it, somebody saved.
I'm happy, now.

RED! Blood of Angry Marines!
BLACK! The traitors we must kill!
RED! Our Prometheum streams!
BLACK! We char them like a grill!

>>3601331
Actually, I was wrong. The first I didn't write.

>>3601329 Les Mis is pretty damn easy to convert...

[JAVERT]
Valjean, at last,
We see each other plain
’Administratum Princep’
You'll wear a different chain!

[VALJEAN]
Before you say another word, Javert
Before you chain me up like a slave again
Listen to me! There is something I must do.
This woman leaves behind a suffering child.
There is none but me who can intercede,
In Emperor's name, three days are all I need.
Then I'll return, I pledge my word.
Then I'll return...

[JAVERT]
You must think me mad!
I've hunted you across the sector
A man like you can never change
A man such as you.

[VALJEAN (in counterpoint)]
Believe of me what you will
There is a duty that I'm sworn to do
You know nothing of my life
All I did was refuse to die
You know nothing of the world
You would sooner see me dead
But not before I see this justice
done

I am warning you Javert
I'm a stronger man by far
There is power in me yet
My race is not yet run
I am warning you Javert
There is nothing I won't dare
If I have to kill you here
I'll do what must be done!

>>3601378

[JAVERT (in counterpoint)]
Men like me can never change
Men like you can never change
No. 24601
My duty's to the Emperor - you have no rights
Come with me 24601
Now the wheel has turned around
Jean Valjean is nothing now
Dare you talk to me of crime
And the price you had to pay
Every man is born in sin
Every man must choose his way
You know nothing of Javert
I was born inside a jail
I was born with scum like you
I am from the gutter too!

[VALJEAN]
[to Fantine] And this I swear to you tonight

[JAVERT]
[to Valjean] There is no place for you to hide

[VALJEAN]
Your child will live within my care

[JAVERT]
Wherever you may hide away

[VALJEAN]
And I will raise her to the light.

[VALJEAN AND JAVERT]
I swear to you, I will be there!

An inquisitor and his retinue requisition rooms in an Inn where the stench of Heresy is strong.

Welcome M´sier
Sit yourself down
And meet the best Innkeeper in town
As for the rest
All of them Heretics
Corrupting the guests
Profaning the Emperor
Seldom do you see
Loyalist men like me
A Disciple of good intent
Who´s content to be

Servant of the Emperor
Rooting out the Mutant
Ready with a Hymn
With a palm held in prayer
Tells a cautionary tale
Prevents Heretical thought
Customers appreciate such pure faith
Glad to do the Imperium a favour
Serving the Emperor has no price
but faith gets you Ev´rything that has got a price

The song is thankfully cut short as a Daemonette in an apron appears from behind the bar and is cut down in mid song by a hail of Las fire.

The entire town is burned at the stake and the ashes mixed into the earth with salt.

Praise be to the Emperor

Here we are, merged to be Him
We're the soul of the Emperor
Here we belong, fighting for survival
In a world with the darkest powers

Hey...
And here we are
We're the soul of the Emperor
Here we belong, fighting for survival
We've got to be the saviour of you all.

Oh!
I am immortal
I have inside me souls of seers (Yeah, yeah!)
I have no rival
No being can be my equal
Free me from the prison of Terra!

Merged to be Him, Emperor of the Imperium
My light shines free, got your fate in my hand
I'm here for your sake and I'll make my stand
We were merged to be Emperor of the Imperium
No evil being could understand
My power is in my own hand

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Xenos whisper about you
Heretics say you've had your day
I'm a man that will have no fear
Shall again fly the moon and reach for the stars
With my sword and head held high
Got to rise again for it is time, yeah
I know that foul powers talk about me
I hear their whispers every day
But I can prove them wrong 'cause I'm right first time
Yeah yeah

Alright, let's go, let's go
Haha!
Yeh...watch this man rise
Bring on the enemies of Man
C'mon C'mon C'mon!

Here we are (here we are)
Merged to be Him, we're soul of the Emperor
Here will we belong

Merged to be Him, soul of the Emperor
All shall see, got your destiny in my hand
I'm here for your sake and I'll make my stand
We were merged to be the Emperor of the Imperium...

Transcript from the Heretical rantings of Planetary Govenor Fraust, spoken in care of ~-Classified-~ prior to global Exterminatus authorized by ~-Classified-~

All my life I strived to gain insight to things that sacred most men
Through the dungeons of the Inquisition I learned the tricks playing with fire
The Administratum wears a weird facade invented to protect man's hate
For the painful, The unknown, The feared and the forbidden
I dreamed the Emperor was I
My quest complete
I dreamed the Emperor was I
I was awake
My quest complete
Emperor!
Captive from philosophies that root on hopes like rotten trees
I see the heretics on their ropes
Which harvester will rip these crops?
If their soul deserved a dime their chance is lost - No bargain now
I want now all that I can get
Riches, Power, Pleasure without end
I dreamed the Emperor was I
My quest complete
I dreamed the Emperor was I
I was awake
My quest complete
Emperor!
I dreamed the Emperor was I
Emperor...

nice

>>3601525

Heretical works confiscated from an unknown Ressurectionist cult, in possession of Planetary Governor Fraust

I woke up from my Slumber
As a cripple on a throne of gold
With a Soritas I’ve never seen
With golden skin
I tried to get to my feet
And she asked me what was wrong
And I began to scream
I don’t think this is me
Is this just a dream
Or really happening

You have one life, you have one life
You have one life left to leave
You have one life, you have one life
You have one life left to leave
Before you ascend to Daemonhood

Too bad this idea still doesn't make some musicals standable. Even Rent is still unwatchable with these conditions.

You are now imagining cultist-chan singing "castle on a cloud"

>>3601632
So that makes Marius her Ultramarine boyfriend. What's Eponine then?

>>3601632

You are now imagining a half dozen Daemonettes performing this

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=9Mn3gU9aLQg

>>3601652
The ultramarine went with someone else and cultist-chan died, so really she should be singing "on my own" which really works better.

>>3601632
[THE EMPEROR]

Don't pray to me, Imperium
The truth is I am not a god.
All through the Dark Age
the Horus Heresy
I kept my promise
Don't keep your distance

And as for godhood, and as for prayer
I never invited them in
Though it seemed to the world they were all I desired

Faiths are illusions
They are not the solutions they promised to be
The answer was here all the time:
Believe in you, not in belief in me!

(chorus)

Have I said too much?
There's nothing more I can think of to say to you.
But all you have to do is look at me to know
That every word is true

>>3601804
Don't believe in me! Believe in yourselves, who believe in me!

We're no strangers to Exterminatus
You know the rules and so do I
A full bombardments what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other fleet

I just wanna target those heretics
Gotta make them understand

Never gonna give The Emperor up
Never gonna let The Emperor down
Never gonna run around and desert The Emperor
Never gonna make The Emperor cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt The Emperor

We've fought for the Imperium for so long
Your Plasma cannon is overheating, but
You're too full of wrath to see it
In the heretical stronghold we know what's been going on
We know thier game and we're gonna break them

>>3601927

Inquisition roll'd?

>>3601927

>>3601927
I like to imagine that someone else is dubbing in "The Emperor" in a completely different voice.

>>3601927
Those lines scan pretty well if you pronounce "The Emperor" as "Th' Empra" so there are fewer syllables.

>>3601956
>>3601958

I dont think they are meant to scan well. The song has obviously been approved for dissemination by Ordo Heriticus- with appropriate additions.

>>3602008
Ah, I get it. Yeah, it works pretty well if you imagine it's done by the same sort of person who makes action movies appropriate for daytime TV by replacing all instances of the word "Motherfucker" with "Melon farmer".

SUMFIN’ HAS CHANGED WIF’IN ME
SUMFIN’ JUST AIN’T THE SAME
AIN’T GONNA PLAY BY ALL DA ROOLZ
OF WEEDY ‘UMIE GAMEZ
TOO LATE FOR SECOND-GUESSIN’
TOO LATE TO CATCH SUM Zs
IT’S TIME TO BE MY OWN BOSS
CLOSE MY EYES AND WAAAGH!

IT’S TIME TO TRYYYYYY
BEIN’ MORE OOOORKY!
I FINK OI’LL TRYYYYYY
BEIN’ SOOO OOOORKY!
AND YOU GITZ CAN’T CRUMP ME NOW!

OI’M TRU WITH DIS MUCH DAKKA
‘CUZ HUMIES THINK IT’S ENUFF
IF DEY SAY DAT I’M NOT CHOPPY
THEN OI’LL SHOW THEM I’M PRETTY TUFF
TOO LONG I AIN’T BEEN ROKKIN’
BEEN KEEPIN FINGS TOO BRIEF
WELL, IF DIS IS WUT THEY CALL “PEACE”
IT’S TAKIN’ WAY TOO MANY TEEF!

OI’D RATHER BUYYYYY
BEIN’ MORE OOOORKY!
I FINK OI’LL TRYYYYYY
BEIN’ SOOO OOOORKY!
AND YOU’LL NEVER CRUMP ME NOW!

My original idea was “Defying Heresy,” but then I realized that Elphaba was green and it just made more sense this way.

>>3601682

THIS. Just the thought of anyone managing to sing with that accent would bring tears to my eyes. Tears of laughter, but still.

My god, I come back to this thread hours later, and it's glorious.

Archive this shit pronto.

I also call for it being Archived.

You truly are the best board /tg/, i salute you.

This thread was epic win.

Saving Private Ryan: An Imperial Guard movie to inspire unconditional obeying of orders. Also, the story might appeal to guardsmen. Imagine, a group got -ordered- to save a comrade in arms!
The ending will cause many manly tears in factory workers, PDF's and guardsmen alike.

Well, except the Kreig ones.

>>3603358
The Krieg would just wonder why everyone has different faces. Then they'd realise that wondering about such things is contrary to the Emperor's will and report to their nearest Commissar for disciplinary measures.

I'm sorry, The Sound Of Music is clearly about a Sister of Battle who becomes a commissar.


Let them bring on their heresies
I'll do better than my best
I have confidence I'll shoot them in the chest
The ones left will see, I have confidence in THE EMPRAH!

My bullets will impress them
I will be firm yet kind
And all those Guardsmen - EMPRAH bless them!
They will look up to ME! AND MIND ME!

With each shot I am more certain
Everything will turn out fine
I have confidence the Hiveworld will be mine
They'll have to agree, I have confidence in THE EMPRAH!

I have confidence in THE EMPRAH
I have confidence in THE EMPRAH
I have confidence that THE EMPRAH will come again
Besides which, you see, I have confidence in THE EMPRAH!

Strength doesn't lie in flashlights
Strength doesn't lie in wealth
Strength lies in hordes of Leman Russes
When you blow up - BLOW UP! It's healthy!

All I distrust I bust a cap in
All I distrust becomes my own
I have confidence in confidence alone
Besides which, you see, I have confidence in THE EMPRAH!

Black Hawk Down: a story about the valor, courage and iron will and determination of the 160 Guardsmen that held their position for 26 hours against endless hordes of cultists to rescue the fallen comrades of the two downed Valkyria transports.

Lion King on Ice?

How the fuck do we twist that one? Romping and rampaging chaos spawn that at the final act of singing gets their door kicked in by Inquisitorial Stormtroopers?

The story centers around Inquisitor Dick Tracy's battle with corrupt Planetary Governor Alphonse "Big Boy" Maximus and with Tracy's tangled love life with a suspected Slaneeshi ultist and Tess Trueheart (I'm no good with 40k names). In a subplot, Tracy encounters a street orphan known only as "The Kid", to whom he becomes a father figure (orphans become commisars, right?)

Cabaret, but replace Nazis with IG or Marines. And the heretics at the cabaret would obviously be Slaaneshi.

Jimmian: No, No, No, No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Tau Storage?
Julius: Jimmian, you know I ain't seen no...
Jimmian: Did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Tau Storage?
Julius: [pause] No. I didn't.
Jimmian: You know WHY you didn't see that sign?
Juliuss: Why?
Jimmian: 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead tau ain't my fucking business, that's why!

>>3603415
But that doesn't make sense at all!

Commissar Von Trapp, elevated in status due to his distinguished service against Ork invasions. Wife dies of disease (nurgle?), and his household turns into FOR THE EMPEROR in the most totalitarian way.

His children are chafing under the restrictions.

Meanwhile, a would be sister of Battle who is having trouble with the strict guidelines is sent to serve as a Governess for the Von Trapp family, with hopes that it will help reaffirm her commitment to the emperor and prepare her.

With her kind, yet noble nature she wins over the children of the household with beautiful music, and veneration of the Emperor told in song. Helping prevent a near rebellion against their father in the process, which could have proved disastrous for Liesel, who is smitten by a local village boy named Rolf.

At first Commissar Trapp is ready to dismiss Maria, but the beautiful singing of his children and the conviction of their dedication to the Emperor brings tears to his eyes, and joy to his heart.

But all is not well, for Chaos Cultists continue to gain power in the neighboring territory. Even as Maria and Georg are Married, Chaos grows stronger. Eventually they overtake the nearby areas and the Von Trapps are asked to raise the mark of Chaos Undivided upon the house. As this is not yet a ("Daemon's in the street's, Kill everyone" level outbreak). Refusing to do so, but fearing for his family's safety, they manage to convince the cultists that they will report to the local capital first thing after a local music festival. The cultists, thinking this is a opportunity to cement their influence on the townspeople agree. However as the curtains fall for the performance and the awards are given out, the Von Trapp's escape to the local Monastery, and then escape across the mountains to Imperial Guard forces, chased by Cultists the whole way.

Somewhere in The Parisian Sub-sector, Inquisitor Javert pursues notorious heretic Val'jean

There, out in the darkness
A heretic running
Fallen from grace
Fallen from grace
Emperor be my witness
I never shall yield
Till we come face to face
Till we come face to face

He knows his way in the dark
Mine is the way of the Emperor
And those who follow the path of the righteous
Shall have their reward
And if they fall
As the warmaster fell
The flame
The sword!

Saints
In your multitudes
Scarce to be counted
Filling the darkness
With order and light
You are the sentinels
Silent and sure
Keeping watch in the night
Keeping watch in the night

You know your place in the sky
You hold your course and your aim
And each in your season
Returns and returns
And is always the same
And if you fall as the warmaster fell
You fall in flame!

And so it has been and so it is written
On the doorway to Terra-dise
That those who falter and those who fall
Must pay the price!

Lord let me find him
That I may see him
Safely destroyed
I will never rest
Till then
This I swear
This I swear by the Saints!

WHEN I WAS
A GUARDSMAN,
MY SERGEANT TOOK ME TO EASTERN KRONUS
TO SERVE IN VICTORY BAY


HE SAID,
"SON WHEN YOU GROW UP,
WILL YOU BE THE SLAYER OF THE MUTANT,
AND THOSE WHO GO ASTRAY?"


HE SAID
"WILL YOU DEFEAT THEM,
THE DEMONS, AND ALL THE FILTHY XENOS,
THE PLANS THAT THEY HAVE MADE?"


FOR ONE DAY, I LEAD YOU,
TO THE ELDAR, AND TAU AND ORKS AND NECRONS,
TO JOIN THE DARK CRUSADE."

How about.......... Avenue Q?

>>3603579
HERESY.... with Puppets.

>>3603552
BRILLIANT!

>>3603552

Clever as this may be, keep thy MCR out of this.

>>3603579

Everyone's a little bit HERETICAL!

>>3603552
Excellent...EXCELLENT!!

>>3603579
have a cast with Tau, Eldar, and various Imperial characters singing "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist" with 40k overtones.

"Ok, so stop me if you've heard this one: theres an Aquila lander going down with only one grav-chute, and there's a Chaplain, an Ethereal, and"

"an Ork Boy!"

>>3603809
YOU WUZ TELLIN AN ORK JOKE!

Well sure, Ghazgull, but lots of people tell Ork jokes.

I DON'T

Well of COURSE you don't, you're an Ork, but I bet you tell Necron jokes.

"OF CURZE I DO, DOZE STUPID NECRONS"

Now don't you think that's a little racist?

>>3603825
"LIVII! COME BACK HERE! COME DISPOSE OF THE WASTE PRODUCTS THAT MAY BE PROCESSED AND REUSED SO AS TO BETTER BENEFIT FUTURE GENERATIONS BY NOT SPOILING THE NATURAL BEAUTY OF THIS PLANET AND PRESERVING IT'S RESOURCES!"

"What's that mean?"

"Take out the recyclables."

[All] "HAHAHAHA"

"Hey! Don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak!"

"Aw come off it LIVII, everyones a little bit racist."

"I'm not!"

"Oh no?"

"Nope. How many filthy xenos wives have you got?"

"What? LIVII!"

"LIVII, buddy, where'd you go? The term is "not so heretical xeno"."

"The Psychic Realm is really really great!"

"For Khorne!"

"I've got an Astronomicon, so I don't have to wait!"

"For Khorne!"

"There's always some new sight"
"For Khorne"
"I psyke all day and night"
"For Khorne"
"It lets us travel past the speed of light"
"For Khorne!"

"The psychic realm is for Khorne,
The psychic realm is for Khorne,
Why you think the Warp was born?
Khorne, Khorne, Khorne."

>>3603948

FTW.

>>3599161
>decorated Imperial Guard Officer
>flee

*BLAM*

CC: Zhomewherrrre ouhht theeeere,
beneaeeve zheeeee pale moonliiiiiiiight,
zzzhhhhomeone'shhhh theenking of meeee and loving meeee toniiiight.

S: Somewhere out there,
someone's saying a prayer,
that we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there.

S: And even though I know how very far apart we are,
it helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star.

CC: And wheeeen zhee night wind startsh to zhiiing a lonezhume lullaby,
it helpzhh to theenkh we're sleeeping underneath thee zhaame beeg skyyyy.

Together: Somewhere out there,
if love can see us through,
then we'll be together, somewhere out there,
out where dreams come true.

>>3604056
dawwww

So, was this thread already archived? Please tell me it was. I have only read half of it and I'm already rolling with laughter.

>>3604056
DAWWWWWWWW

>>3604056
;_;

>>3604056
:')

>>3600290

Archive this shit

Brigadoon, a planet untouchable by Chaos, is rediscovered by a few space marines, and to prevent a chaos uprising they kill their own.

Okay, so since there are so many requests for archive but no one does it, I'll try. I'm a newfag, though, so I hope I got it right. Archive here:

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3599161/

"Warpfire"
Inquisitor:
Emperor (Pronounced Emperr-e-or, a stretch I know.)
You know I am a righteous man
Of my virtue I am justly proud
Et tibit Pater
Emperor
You know I'm so much purer than
The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd
Quia peccavi nimis
Then tell me, Emperor
Why I see her dancing there
Why her smold'ring eyes still scorch my soul
Cogitatione
I feel her, I see her
The sun caught in raven hair
Is blazing in me out of all control
Verbo et opere
Like fire
Warpfire
This fire in my skin
This burning
Desire
Is turning me to sin
It's not my fault
Mea culpa
I'm not to blame
Mea culpa
It is the cultist girl
The witch who sent this flame
Mea maxima culpa
It's not my fault
Mea culpa
If in Emperor's plan
Mea culpa
He allowed chaos to be
Stronger than a man
Mea maxima culpa
Protect me, Emperor
Don't let this siren cast her spell
Don't let her fire sear my flesh and bone
Destroy Esmeralda
And let her taste the fires of hell
Or else let her be mine and mine alone
Warpfire
Dark fire
Now cultist, it's your turn
Choose me or
Your pyre
Be mine or you will burn
Kyrie Eleison
Emperor have mercy on her
Kyrie Eleison
Emperor have mercy on me
Kyrie Eleison
But she will be mine
Or she will burn!

>>3603551

Now I really want to see a 40ked version of Le Mis's "One Day More"

But the student revolutionaries, would they be a chaos cult? Because that really shifts the story to one supporting chaos, unless we emphasize their destruction.

Two requests? Come on, guys!

I want a Skatman John remake, make it happen!

>>3604412

Was done already by >>3600886 >>3600839

>>3604412
>Emperor (Pronounced Emperr-e-or, a stretch I know.)

Try "Imperator."

its pronounced emprah

>>3604683
Or even "God-Emperor".

A stretch, I know.

*An Ork encampment built in an abandoned refinery. The warboss climbs up a throne at the centre of a raised dais. He holds out a fat cigar, lights it from one of the many burnas offered to him, inhales deeply and blows a massive smoke ring. He addresses his horde theatrically.*


Me boyz, we iz abaht ta embark on da most
orrible, da most evil, da most dibiol- diaboric-... bestest scheme
of my illushtrious kareer. A waaagh to top all
waaaghs,
a waaagh dat will live in infamy!
[Chorus:] WAAAGH!
[Grotigan:] Tomorra night,
our beloved Warboss celebrates
'is bestest battle. And... with da enfusiastic 'elp
of our bestest mate Magos Flavesham, it promises to be
a night 'e will never ferget. 'Is last night,
and my first,
as da Biggest Boss in all Orkdom!
[Chorus:] WAAAAARRGHH!!

Mwa ha ha ha!

From da brain dat brought you da Big Boss Kaper
De 'ead dat's all over dem Guard "Wanted" papers
An' wondrous fings like da Hive Primus Job
Dat kunning display that made 'umies asob

Now comes da real tour-da-Orks!
Tricksy an' wicked, of course!
Me earlier krimes were fine for dere times
But nah dat I'm at it again
An even tricksier plot 'as been simmerin'
In me great kriminal brain!

[Chorus:]
Even meaner? Ya mean it?
Worse dan dem bosses an' squiggoths ya drowned?
You'ze da best o' da worst around!
Oh, Grotigan
Oh, Grotigan
Da rest fall behind
Ta Grotigan
Ta Grotigan
Da world's greatest kriminal mind!

[Grotigan:]
Ta, ta very much. But it ain't all been
brew an' squiggy eyes. I've 'ad my share of
adversity, fanks ta dat miserable second-rate
Inquisiter, Bazhil of Bakker Cree. For years, dat
insufferable 'umie has innerfeered wiv my plans.
I ain't 'ad a minit's peace o' mind. But, all
dat's in da past! Dis time, nuffing, not even
Bazhil, can stand in my way! All will bow before
me!
[Chorus:]
Oh, Grotigan
Oh, Grotigan
You'ze tops, dat's what's what!
Tah Grotigan
Tah Grotigan
[Bartholomew:]
Tah Grotigan, the world's greatest grot

*Grotigan spits out his drink*

[Grotigan:]
What was dat? What did you call me?
[Boy:]
Oh, oh, he didn't mean it, Boss.
[Cybork:]
I-it was just a slip of 'is tongue.
[Grotigan:]
I am NOT A GROT!
[Stormboy:]
'Course you're not. You're a Ork!
[Boy:]
Yeah, dat's right. Right! An Ork.
[Thug 5:]
Yeah, a titchy Ork!
[Grotigan:]
SILENCE! Oh, my dear Bartholomew, I'm afraid that
you've gone and upset me. You know what happens
when someone upsets me.

*Grotigan rings a small bell as the boyz of his warband cower in fear. The ground trembles under the tread of something massive*

[Bartholomew:]
Oh, Grotigan
Oh, Grotigan
You're da tops, dat's what's what
(*belch* noice.)
Tah Grotigan
Tah Grotigan
Tah Grotigan , the world's greatest -

*A massive squiggoth devours Bartholomew in one huge gulp.*

[Grotigan:] Oh, Flisha, me precious, me likkle runt. Did Daddy's
wittle squigy wiggy enjoy her tasty tweet?
[Flisha:]
HRRRRRRRUUUUUURRRRRRNNNNN
[Grotigan:]
I trust dat dere will be no mo' innerrupshuns?
An' nah, as you waz singin'?

*the boyz cluster closer for a minute before recovering and resuming with even more gusto*

[Chorus:]
Even lahder
We'z shoutin' it!
No 'un can doubt whot we know'z ya can do
You'ze more evil dan even you
Oh, Grotigan
Oh, Grotigan
You'ze one of a kind
Ta Grotigan
Ta Grotigan
Da world's greatest kriminal mind!

could this possibly be the best thread to ever grace /tg/?

>>3604056

God Emperor on Earth... I recognized that.

AND ENGLISH ISN´T EVEN MY FIRST LANGUAGE TO START WITH!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=695OjkGWk-M

God bless you, /tg/, everyone.

Somewhere upon cadia....

Chaos marine captain: Make way for Prince Ali
Random Cultist: Say hey! It's Prince Ali

A greater demon of Tzeentch: Hey! Clear the way in the old Barricade.
Hey you!
Let us through!
It's a bright new star!
Oh Come!
Be the first on your planet to meet his eye!

Make way!
Here he comes!
Scream loud! Fire your Bombardements!
Are you gonna fear this guy!

Prince Ali! Fabulous he!
Ali Of Chaos.
Genuflect, shom some respect
Down on one knee!
Now, try your best to dig your own crypt
Brush up your chaos ritual script
The come and meet his spectacular coterie

Prince Ali!
Mighty is he!
Ali Ababwa
Strong as ten greater daemons, definitely!
He faced the pathetic hordes
A hundred grey knights with force swords
Who sent those fool's souls to our lords?
Why, Prince Ali

He's got seventy-five golden Juggernauts.
Purple Daemonettes?
He's got fifty-three
When it comes to exotic-type Daemons
Has he got a zoo?
I'm telling you, it's a galaxy-class menagerie

Prince Ali! Handsome is he, Ali Ababwa
That physique! How can I speak
Weak at the knee
Well, get on out in those tanks
Adjust your vein and give thanks!
To gawk and grovel and stare at Prince Ali!

There's no question this Ali's alluring
Never ordinary, never boring
Everything about the Daemon prince just plain impresses
He's a champion, he's a Lord, a wonder!
He's about to pull my heart asunder!
And I absolutely love the way he dresses with the remains of his enemies!

He's got ninety-five white Discs of Tzeentch
(He's got the Discs, let's see the Discs)
And to view them he charges no fee
(He's generous, so generous)
He's got slaves, he's got servants and flunkies
(Proud to work for him)
They bow to his whim love serving him
They're just lousy with loyalty to Ali! Prince Ali!

Prince Ali!
Amorous he! Ali of Chaos
Heard your planet was a sight lovely to see
And that, good cultists, is why he got dolled up and dropped by
With sixty Nurglings, Spawn galore
With his Steeds and Slaves
A Shrieker Slaneesh Band and more
With his forty Sorcerers, his cultists, his terrors.
His Ravens that Mutate on key
Make way for prince Ali!

Mortarion:
In sleep he bloated me
In streams of shame
That plague that sickens me
All in his name
And do I bleed again?
For now I find
The Master of all decay is there,
Sickness enshrined

Nurgle:
Weep once again for me
All pus and sweat
Boils all over you
Grow larger yet
You never turn from me
Or glance behind
The Master of all decay is here
To see your body maligned