Alright fa/tg/uys let's hear your ideas for, "Ciaphas Cain Hero of the Imperium : The Animated Series"
Cain has to go back to college for some reason, Eldrad is his roommate, hilarity ensues.
Would be beaten in the ratings by tim and eric awesome show great job.I'm fucking serious, no one fucking knows who he is except hardcore 40K fans. That's it.
>>3560751Episodic adventures of a cowardly hero in space. You don't need to be all about 40k for the appeal.
>>3560736But what about Jurgen?
>>3560927Comedic relief character who periodically saves the day with unnecessarily large amounts of firepower.
>>3560927Jurgen is the party animal who lives in the room across the hall. He is never seen without a Hawaiian shirt on.
>>3560873Actually... no. I've shown the Caiphas Cain omnibus to quite a few people (all enjoy sci-fi, none knew anything about 40k) and the general response was "It's ok, I guess. It got better as it went on." and that is about it.
I give you Jurgen.
I say don't bother adapting Cain stories (well maybe the short stories) new ones would work better for a series.
>>3560751>>3560956Is probably right. But a Cain comic series could be cool.
>>3560988FUCK YEAR
voice of Cain MUST be Bruce Campbell.Jurgen is the socially dead smelly fellow that hangs around in the background and doesn't speak much or do much besides offer Cain tea and blow shit up.it should take place sometime midway through his carreer while he's with the Valhallan 597th.Sulla will be voiced by Cathy Griffen.
every episode will start in medias res."You are probably wondering how I got in to this little mess right now... ok, a huge mess. and things were so good in the morning"
Every so often amberly will show up to dump some mess in Cain's lap.
>>3561136>>3561323>voice of Cain MUST be Bruce Campbell.I would watch the shit out of that.
>>3561323And do other things. In his lap....That was bad. I feel bad.
>>3561332>>3561136It is my dream that Bruce Campbell will someday (very soon) find out about the Ciaphas Cain novels, read them (The man is a known gamer) and get the rights to them.Then make movies.
I can't stand 40k but I love Commissar Cain.
No, Cain needs the voice of motherfucking Jeremy Irons.
what style though?I think BTAS would be ok as it could be both dark, yet not emo brooding, allowing some comedyor do the amazing screw on head style animation. skulls and lulz
>>3561437Exactly like Clone Campaigns. But instead of the clones, there's Gary and instead of the droids, there's heretic Gary.
>>3561437Hey, wait, why's that so clear? Even the TV airing wasn't that crisp...
>>3561498You mean Clone Wars?http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars:_Clone_Wars_(2003_TV_series)
>>3561149That is exactly what would need to happen.
>>3561530yeahshit was so cash
>>3561149>>3561534No the introduction needs to be made by Amberly. She also needs to occasional interrupt the story to provide additional information.
>>3561737she better make it fucking short. I hated when the bitch quotes stuff on promethium and shit. It's gas we get it! It burns shit we know
>>3561750The image of the little fire man burning the Heretics is adorable though!
>>3561737Those are from Cain though. Amberly usually just gives a short blurb about what the story is about, kind of like the type of stuff you'd read on the back of the book.
>>3561750Wait, I thought PromethJEWum was liquid, kinda like oil or some shit.
Should he be with the Valhallan 597th exclusively or should it jump around his long career? I was thinking it should be half 597th and half other. Hell, one or two episodes of Cain in the Schola could be kinda fun.
>>3561817>Cain in the ScholaZITS, D&D, WEIGHT PROBLEMS AND DORKY GLASSES.
>>3561800It's widely used as fuel for vehicles, ammunition for flamers, and can be processed/broken down and used in numerous byproducts. The first two are obviously the more well-known ones.
>>3561829HERESY. THE HERO OF THE IMPERIUM WAS *NOT* A NERD. HE WAS A MANLY MAN.
>>3561843HE DIDN'T GO TO THE SCHOLA PROM, INSTEAD HE SAT AROUND IN HIS BASEMENT PLAYING SKUBHAMMER FAULTY KAY ALL NIGHT LONG WITH HIS NERD POSSE.
>>3561829>>3561853Cain was canonically a sporty chap in the Schola. You couldn't really have him as a neckbeard.
>>3561817In before Cain being at a schola run by pedosisters.
>>3561861He was also a smartass. I bet he WOULD play, just to piss off the Emperor-Bothers who think the game is heresy but can't prove it.
>>3561875EMPEROR BIKE STEALING CHRIST YES!
>>3561861WATCH AS GAIN GETS INTO EVER SISTER OF BATTLE CADET'S PANTS!AND THEIR INSTRUCTORS!And NOT get caught!
>>3561947Gommissar Giaphas Gain at your service!
>>3561955Gain taught Ciaphas all he knew.Before he met Gain, Ciaphas was a shy, honest young man who was terrible at cards.
Episode: Cain's Crush s2e8. A young Ciaphas Cain has his first crush. However, we find that our gallant and suave Commissar was once a bit shy and awkward around the ladies. Also when young Cain falls for this girl, he falls hard. Did our hero's first love shape the man he became in more ways than even he realized?
>>3561985His first love was THE EMPE-RAH
>>3561992this post insinuates that a man can fall out of love with the emperorstay where you are, agents of the ecclesiarchy have been dispatched
>>3562001Sup heretic. ENJOY YOUR HERESY, LULZ.
While a young Ciaphas would be cool and all, I wanna see how crappy Jurgen's childhood was!
>>3562008spoiler: Jurgen's parents were good looking and charismatic.
>>3562008>>3562021Further spoilers: I doubt he really noticed and/or cared.
>>3561979Actually the idea that Cain had a friend who was more like the Cain we know than he was could be cool. Said friend was Cain's first friend at the schola when he arrived as a kid and was the first friend of Cain's to die.
>>3562021It would still SUCK to be him though.
>>3562034Which is why he doesn't let himself be friends with hardly anyone.
>>3560720
We find out that as a student Cain read a book about a certain famous Colonel - Commissar. This gives Cain the idea that he can be a soft touch commissar, he doesn't have to be a BLAM!-ing bastard. Secretly he considers the Colonel - Commissar to be an ideal hero but is also secretly ashamed that he can't live up to him.
>>3562034>>3561985And in today's "Very SPecial Episode" we'll be taking a more serous note and talk about... DRUGS!Cain becomes addicted to 'slaught. Can his friends help him through it?!
>>3562043Fuck year, the erotic adventures of Ciaphas Cain!
Forget Cain at school. I want the adventure where he escapes Dark Eldar capture by seducing a wych.
>>3562153Ronery wych is ronery.
>>3562153That'll probably be in the next Cain Book.
>>3562174except for that one night.....
>>3562176with all the good parts cut out. F'ing Amberley...
WH40K animation riddled with /tg/ canon & memes. Fuck year.
>>3562240It's fucking Black Library. There are no good parts.
... can i get rule 34 on amberley and that one techpriest with the mechadendrite tail?
>>3562255CIAPHAS CAIN XI:THE RISE OF THE MULTILASER WIELDING TYRANID-ORKS COMMANDED BY SSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNDRRRRRIIIIBY: C. MOTHERFUCKING S. GOTO.BLACK LIBRARY.GAMES WORKSHOP.
>>3562294FINAL DESTINATION?
>>3562316INDEED.
>>3562240it's not like she's trying that hard to hide it anymore.To quote Duty Calls: >>“Well, at least it seems Zemelda’s in good hands.” Amberley looked at me speculatively. “I’m hoping she won’t be the only one tonight,” she said. >>We were enjoying a leisurely breakfast the next morning...
>>3562330spoiler: Amberly is an inquisitor and therefore uses whatever she has to manipulate people and this includes sex.tl:dr Cain's not the only one who dipped his cod in her
>>3562401I am shocked and appalled good sir! I never even thought of the possibility that women use their vagina to get what they want!
>>3561358>>3560988My god i lol'd
I'd like to see Jurgen's parents in an episode. Their presence fills the room and everyone is awed with their almost mythic quality and beauty. Whenever they are shown theres this unnatural wind to keep their hair softly billowing for effect
>>3562499mysterious wind=psyker powers
>>3562499So Jurgen's mum and pop are the Deceiver and the Nightbringer?
>>3562509JEWrgen is an anti-psyker you double nigger
>>3562518>>3562518negative X negative=positive, where lower values=closer to the warp?
>>3562539Let's put it this way.IF MUM AND DAD HAVE SOULS, SONNY HAS A SOULIF ONE OF THEM CARRIES THE PARIAH GENE, ITS QUITE POSSIBLE THAT THE CHILD WILL BECOME ONE TOO, THAT, OR BLANK.IF BOTH OF THEM HAVE ZERO OR LESS WARP PRESENCE, WELL HELLO CULEXUS!
>>3561378naw, he would be better at playing as the voice of Eisenhorn
>>3562401Except that she doesn't NEED to, she can just ORDER Cain to do things, like she does when they first meet. Plus she has enough blackmail material on him to accomplish anything she wants. I say it's a genuine relationship.
>>3562551Jurgen is a Blank, not a Pariah (though he's so filthy he might as well be), and Blanks are hinted to be naturally-occuring cases of latent Psyker talent folding inward on itself. Entirely possible he had Psyker kin.
I would watch the FUCK out of it
I'd want John Cleese to be Ciaphas.
>>3562499"Those are your parents?""Yes, sir.""How are they... doing that?""Doing what, sir?"
So is Jurgen actually iron-willed, so dull-witted that he's oblivious to the various threats around him, or is he actually much smarter than he leads on and is fully aware of his status as a psychic blank?
The would need to be at least one Sulla episode. It would be told from the perspective of Lt. Sulla and be narrated and framed by Lady General Sulla.
>>3564999He is certainly not oblivious as in the very first time he fought at Cain's side he called for help when tyranids were about to OMNOM him, I'd say he's just incredibly dull and not particularly incentivized towards hygiene. he's not stupid by any stretch as he routinely does TONS of paperwork, scrounges like a motherfucker, swipes every scrap of food he can stuff into his web gear and has the good sense to nick a melta gun when he feels he needs it. so he's obviously pretty damn clever, but is just incredibly dull and not keen on bathing. or, as hypothesised, the smell is just peoples' way of rationalizing the aura of inherent wrongness Jurgen has.
Ciaphas Cain vs Ibram Gaunt vs YarrickThe Good the Bad and the Ugly three way showdown!! The universe will shatter from the sheer power of concenrated awesome!!
>>3565142gaunt is win!
>>3565142Yarrick accuses the other two of being heretics and mucking about and unleashes the WAAAAGH.Gaunt fights and the three remaining Tanith troopers the author hasn't yet killed off join in.Cain finds an excuse to get the fuck out of there and inadvertently triggers a series of unfortunate events that leads to his ultimate victory.
>>3565186Tzeentch must fucking love Cain.
>>3565203He routinely fights Slaanesh for Cain's soul.
>>3565211Khorne wants a piece, too.
Papa Nurgle wants Jurgen.
>>3565203>>3565211>>35652533 out of 4 Chaos Gods agree. Ciaphas Cain is Fuckwin!
>>3565268Comissar Ciaphas Cain! For the crime of harboring heresy and making chaos gods to drool after you you are hereby stripped of your rank, your weapon and your pointy hat. You will be deported to the Order of the Valorous Heart convent for the rest of your meager life to serve as a handmaiden and a personal servant to the Sisters of Battle. Can you imagine a bigger humiliation than bathing sisters for the rest of your life? BWAHAHAHA I cant. Take him away.---Inquisitor Prejudicis Bigotus.---
>>3562111I like this idea, Cain thinking that Gaunt is really the greatest commissar hero and being ashamed that he can't be like him. Among Cain's possessions that he makes Jurgen lug around for him is a worn copy of, "The Complete History of Col. Commissar Ibram Gaunt and the Tanith First."
>>3565308I want that two to meet in a book.
>>3565318Too bad Gaunt lived like two centuries before Cain was even born.
>>3565305five seconds later the Inquisitor is stripped of his position and set on fire. He was obviously in league with the foul warp gods. Cain then goes to give the sisters baths anyways, with sexy results.
>>3565323Minor details. This is WARHAMMER 40K!! Clap your hans to make it believe!!
>>3561378Hells yeah. Sorry, but bruce campbell can't do it for me, I'd be thnking of Ash.
>>3565333
>>3565353They are the daughters of the Emperor anyway, good old faddah wants his little ones to get laid sometimes.
So on the subject of Cain and him getting laid I have kinda wondered about something. It is heavily implied that before he meet Amberly he was quite the ladies man. I think I recall him talking about noblemen's daughters and going out someplace because he had run out of women at the place where he was stationed. So if that is true, wouldn't some of these women try to get pregnant? I mean he was a goddamn statute having hero years before he meet Amberly, I would imagine some women would want to keep a piece of that. Hell, I can image some nobleman going, "Yes this is my illegitimate grandson. Who is his father? MOTHERFUCKING CIAPHAS CAIN! That is who!"
>>3561861I remember a point where he mentions that the Sisters of Battle Acolytes were as brutal, if not more, than the men in scrumball(whatever that is).Probably because they thought that the game revolved around sending more players to the infirmary than the other team.
>>3565564Yeah, I recall that it was something along the lines of the stormtrooper cadets being the best followed by the commissar cadets and the sister acolytes tied for second. Also I just considered scrumball to be GRIMDARK rugby, I think you should as well.
someone archive this shit - its lulzy
he scored a techpriest and a SoB too, i still have high hopes that he will score an eldar too
>>3565601I believe it was that the Stormtrooper cadets had the most inventive tricks, but the Commies beat them at scrumball. Except the Sisters who would just incapacitate the other team.
>>3565631LAWL SO RANDUM XD
>>3565653Wait, when did Cain score with a Sister of Battle?
>>3565004but to keep the humor the animation quality will be under budet and proportions ridiculous. Sulla should be ugly in 'regular' episodes and look goddamn gorgeous in the joke episodes with Cain looking like>>3562043
>>3565739He's had a long and storied life. Probably undocumented.Maybe he and the Adept from the latest book double-teamed the Sister on top of the tarot table.
Ciaphas Cain engaged a Warboss in melee.And won.
>>3565904not to mention a fucking Khorne Berserker
>>3566004Was that before or after his sheer mojo outdid that of a Slaaneshi cult master?
>>3566004Well, Jurgen did get a glancing blow on the Berzerker with his melta that put a hole in his armor.
>>3566028I think it was after.I think the slannesh encounter with the demonnette girl was his first true encounter with chaos. He has nightmares/wet dreams about it.
>>3566028About the same time actually (Well, in the same decade anyway). He was still Serving with the 12th Artillery during BOTH occasions.Don't forget he has also gone toe to toe with TWO deamonds! One Slaaneshi, the other Khorne.The fight with the Khorne deamond wasn't in a book, but it was mentioned.
>>3566107>deamondsYou mean Daemons?
>>3561530>>3561540was that show a lot better than the prequel trilogy then?>>3562255please leave
>>3566211The 2003 cartoon? YeahThe recent (2008) CGI movie + spinoff? equally bad except for those rare times anakin and his jailbait padawan aren't hogging screentime.
>>3566251ill go find a torrent then. do you know a good one?
