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  • File :1232669524.gif-(19 KB, 403x542, MagicItems008.gif)
    19 KB Bard 01/22/09(Thu)19:12 No.3488573  
    Awesome magic item time. Cursed or not.

    A pair of shoes that when you stomp down they start to produce a oil of slipperiness. A balance DC keeps you from falling prone, and with a running start and a higher balance DC you can slide to move double your speed.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:14 No.3488601
    That's a horrible magic item. Jesus Christ, it's like becoming a namefag makes you an utter retard.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:14 No.3488609
    the never-fasten belt.

    exactly what it sounds like.
    >> Bard 01/22/09(Thu)19:15 No.3488618
    >>3488601
    Best magic items are ones the PC's think are crappy, but become awesome if you get creative.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:15 No.3488622
    >>3488609
    used in tandem with the armor of loosened clasps.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:16 No.3488630
    Rod of Wonder
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:17 No.3488651
    A ring of constriction.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:17 No.3488655
    >>3488618
    Uh, no. You made slug boots. "DURR HURR I USE MAH BOOTS TO MAKE AN OIL SLICK AROUND THE GUYZ AND DEN I LIGHT IT ON FIRE AREN'T I CLEVAR?"

    You are a moron for thinking that is in any way impressive.
    >> Bard 01/22/09(Thu)19:18 No.3488658
    >>3488630
    I see what you did there
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:18 No.3488662
    A Pot of Subtraction Soup.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:19 No.3488675
    Chainmail bikini - has armor value equivalent to enchanted platemail and +5 strength/dexterity bonuses.

    Cannot be worn by females.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:20 No.3488685
    >>3488662
    Amusing if we were still children.
    >> Bard 01/22/09(Thu)19:21 No.3488693
    >>3488655
    I thought it was amusing. Cept for the lighting on fire part.

    My PC's were fairly clever when I gave the a cursed bag of holding, that whenever you put something in it, there's a 25% chance everything in the bag will be flung out of it 50 feet. At first they thought it sucked, until one PC decided to use it to make a harpoon gun
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:21 No.3488697
    >>3488685

    You don't have to be a child to be amused by an NPC or a PC starving to death on gallons of soup.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:22 No.3488711
    >>3488697
    The image is funny, the reference is not.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:23 No.3488716
         File :1232670189.jpg-(35 KB, 300x410, p1_plushenko_1102.jpg)
    35 KB
    >>3488573
    Suddenly, everyone is an ice princess!
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:23 No.3488722
    >>3488675
    Chainmail bikinis already exist! Look up the Gloryborn Armor in the DMG2, and apply the bonuses to Chainmail or a Chain Shirt.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:24 No.3488738
    A magical mini-waterclock.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:26 No.3488765
    A statue of a grinning monkey that whispers disturbing truths to the PC owner right as he falls asleep.
    "She will never forgive you."
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:27 No.3488776
    >>3488711

    Since when are references supposed to be funny? They're just there to let people who get it go "OH U SO CLEVAR".
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:27 No.3488777
    >>3488722

    Yes, I know... but you missed the last line...
    >Cannot be worn by females.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:28 No.3488786
    >>3488765

    "She wants to fuck you. She dreams of her cock in your ass."
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:29 No.3488788
    An infinitely reusable healing suppository. Can heal any ailment or wound in a sigle digestive cicle. The user must still have a sphicter and a colon.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:31 No.3488813
    RIng of Suspicious Odour
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:31 No.3488819
    A collar that turns humans into yiffable animal-people. :3
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:33 No.3488831
    The Blade of Apologies

    *SLASH*
    "Whoops, sorry"
    *THWACK*
    "Sorry, didn't see you"
    *CRITICAL HIT*
    "Sorry about that"
    *SEVERANCE*
    "My bad, dude"
    *DECAPITATION*
    "I'm really sorry"
    *LOLWOT ME ARMS GONE*
    "Didn't mean to do that"
    *IMPALEMENT*
    "I'm terribly sorry about that"
    >> I apologized on 4chan 01/22/09(Thu)19:33 No.3488833
    A Rubix Cube possessed by a Minor Annoyance Demon. Will randomly shift the colours of two squares around when the person attempting to solve it is looking on the other side.
    Completing the Rubix Cube will free the demon, it knows this, but due to it's nature cannot resist foiling the players attempts to solve the cube.

    Bracers of Elven Strength (-2 to Str)
    Belt of Dwarven Agility (-2 to Dex)
    etc, etc..
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:36 No.3488871
    I have fun with the following: Intelligent gloves of the giant, imbued with the persona of a long-past giant king. Whenever the user picks up something, he calls out to them, "Throw it! Throw the barrel, it is the ONLY way!" The gloves give bonuses to throwing mundane objects (i.e. crates, chairs, tables, dwarves)
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:38 No.3488882
    Jesus, you guys have no imagination.

    The Headband of Status Sharing: As a free action, turn your gaze to any enemy. You automatically know their location, current hit points, any condition modifiers, and attitude towards you. They immediately know the same about you, except the "attitude" is always hostile.

    Sword of Riddles: Allows you to apply your Intelligence bonus to damage dealt, but only if you can answer its inane riddles while in combat. Requires a Concentration check every round while you're using it, or you lose your action and become flatfooted.

    Ring of Patchwork Shielding: Provides a +2 bonus to the wearer - as a shield bonus, natural armor, deflection modifier, protection from random alignment, protection from energy, etc - but only one of those at a time, as selected every turn from a table.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:38 No.3488883
    >>3488833
    IIRC, Gauntlets of Kobold Power (STR set to 9) are an official magic item in ADD. Can't remember whether it was first or second edition though. They were created by a wizard that had rolled poorly on his starting stats, and were an actual beneficial item.
    >> I apologized on 4chan 01/22/09(Thu)19:41 No.3488908
    Belt of Gygaxian Displeasure

    Anyone wearing this Belt will find themselves transmuted into a human if they are neither a Dwarf or and Elf. All social actions attempted by this player are at -10 to perform. From now on, opposing monsters can only hit this character by rolling under their to-hit roll, making low AC's better than higher ones.
    Any kender that touches this belt immiediately suffers the effects of a maximized Disintigration spell. The effects of this belt become permanantly nullified if a Wizard who lives on the coast attempts to use it.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:43 No.3488927
    >>3488883
    2e. Also:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Greyhawk_characters#Otiluke
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:43 No.3488933
    >>3488882
    turn your gaze to any enemy. You automatically know their location
    turn your gaze to any enemy. You automatically know their location
    turn your gaze to any enemy. You automatically know their location
    turn your gaze to any enemy. You automatically know their location
    turn your gaze to any enemy. You automatically know their location
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:43 No.3488934
    Boots of Slumber - Allows you to gain the full benefit of 8 hours sleep if you sleep while standing up, even if you don't have the Endurance feat.

    Clip of Modification - A magic item that modifies magic items. Allows any magic item to be worn in any slot other than its designated one - for example, boots on your head - and still reap the magical benefits. It doesn't help you at all with keeping the boots balanced, though...

    Dagger of Unobtrusiveness - Dark and sleek, this blade cannot be perceived while held in shadows - even in broad daylight, it's difficult to make out. However, it gains this bonus by absorbing the wielder's natural hiding ability, so it provides a -2 to any Hide checks. So your enemies can see you, but hey! You appear unarmed!
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:45 No.3488950
    >>3488933
    >thatsthejoke.jpg
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:46 No.3488976
         File :1232671617.jpg-(24 KB, 640x480, Futurama_Fry_Looking_Squint.jpg)
    24 KB
    >>3488908
    >> I apologized on 4chan 01/22/09(Thu)19:49 No.3488994
    >>3488976

    I was hoping SOMEONE would get that.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:51 No.3489005
    Fist of an Angry God - A fist-shaped necklace that lights up and emits a telltale "Ka-fuckin-BAM, baby!" when within twenty feet of anyone with a Charisma of 16 or higher.

    Bracers of Postponing the Inevitable - When you get hit, rather than take the damage now, you just take double the damage next round.

    Charm of Secrets - When tossed gently on the floor, it automatically tumbles in the direction of secret passageways, hiding characters, or secretly stashed items, while making a little chirping bouncy noise. If tossed in a room with more than one of these things, it merely spins in place. If you have any (ANY!) secret item on your person, it will refuse to leave your hand and stick to you like glue.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:53 No.3489019
    >>3488934
    >Boots on head
    >Shoe on head
    Sure is /b/ in there.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:55 No.3489031
    Chalk of Drawing -
    This chalk, when held with the intent to write or draw, can write on any surface, or even mid-air.
    The dust will remain in place despite any wind, but can be wiped away easily.
    The writing fades in 24 hours, leaving normal chalk dust behind.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)19:59 No.3489070
    >>3488994

    It was a little obvious. I wondered when someone would get it as well. I was a little suspicious until the final remark. The wizard thing just sett off a huge alarm for me.
    >> I apologized on 4chan 01/22/09(Thu)20:01 No.3489090
    >>3489070

    And the fact that it was called the Belt of Gygaxian Displeasure didn't? Nor the whole Human/Dwarf/Elf only thing? Or the Low AC=Good thing either?
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)20:03 No.3489112
    >>3488573
    wait wait wait, didn't the asian kid from The Goonies have those??
    >> 008 01/22/09(Thu)20:05 No.3489129
    The Puzzle Sword: A box of 200 standard flat puzzle pieces that when put together form a sword. Once the last piece is placed, the sword becomes real. It can also be dissembled on the same manner. Good for smuggling.

    Cursed Boots of Skipping: Normal leather boots that force the wearer to skip along for all movement. They can't walk, run or jump. Just skip.

    Globe of Snow: A small glass snow globe with a small model village inside. The village is in fact linked with a real village somewhere in the world and they're quite sick of people causing snow storms when the globe is shaken and have since cursed it. Upon shaking, it summons 30 angry and armed villagers for 1d20 turns.

    The Accidental Hat of Fireball: Accidentally enchanted by a wizard after a misunderstanding of an order, this hat will briefly turn into a fireball when thrown at a target, and revert back after strike. Try not to drop it.

    Wood Staff of Androgyny: Upon being struck with this staff, the target is now neither male nor female but with traits of both. Not to be confused with hermaphroditism, the target will no longer have anything between the legs other then smooth skin.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)20:05 No.3489137
    >>3489090

    I was thinking high level magic the whole way though (until the end of course). That and the thread was getting worse with every post, so I was kinda skimming your post at that point.
    >> I apologized on 4chan 01/22/09(Thu)20:08 No.3489165
    >>3489137

    I do have a tendency to write huge text blocks don't I?
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)20:11 No.3489196
    >>3489165

    Wasn't about the text or the amount of it. It was about the quality of the posts before yours(key word being before). Retardation has a tendency of being boring.
    >> Bard 01/22/09(Thu)20:16 No.3489232
    >>3489112
    Holy crap maybe he did.
    Man, I need to watch that movie again, it was filmed near where I live. I've been to the main character's house.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)20:19 No.3489257
    Gloves of Ogre's Stench
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)20:24 No.3489309
    Swich bands - a pair of bracers, one with a blue strip one with a red that when activated swap hands between them
    they work over any distance and on anyone of the same size catagory
    when they are swapped the person wearing the red decides who is in control of the hands, the person who they belong to, or the person who has them at that point
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)20:25 No.3489319
    Gloves of Negotiable Affection - Sleek leather gloves. If inspected further, the worn out letters FM can be found stitched into the gloves.

    When someone is touched, they are immediately filled with lewd thoughts of the character wearing the gloves and will offer to sex them for a proper price. However, the gloves will price the act on its own, using factors alien to anything but itself.

    The owner has but to slap the victim to bring him out of his horny stupor.
    >> Merle !ApPkmtJbAE 01/22/09(Thu)20:26 No.3489326
    Mug of the Reveler: A carved stone stein, once every hour it can be activated to fill every empty container in a twenty-yard radius with finest dwarven ale. This applies to any free-standing concave object - bowls and the like - but not to, say, a hollow in a statue.

    Mug of the Revealer - As the Mug above, except that each time one person who drinks of the ale created will suddenly gain some single clear insight. It can be of great or little import, but it is always complete truth. This item is visually indistinguishable from the Mug of the Reveler.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)20:45 No.3489498
    Boots of Sinking: The wearer of these boots sinks slowly through any non-magical solid substance as if it were quicksand. Though they can be used to gain entrance to clandestine locations, please ensure there is an open space less than six inches beneath you before wearing, as potential suffocation is an issue.

    Pen of Socrates: Any prose, poetry, or philosophical argument written by this pen is gripping, inspired and influential. The writing is especially effective if read by young people, and is practically guaranteed to garner attention and fame for the author. As the pen's namesake could probably tell you, this is not always a good thing.

    Riot Ball: If kicked into a crowd, this ball decorated with white hexagons and the occasional black pentagon will cause the crowd to break out into a minor riot that lasts for 5+1d20 minutes. Retrieving the ball may be difficult.

    Ring of Dragon Detection: When worn, all dragons within 100 miles are made aware of you and your location. In fact, they cannot overlook or ignore this information. They are probably very annoyed.
    >> Merle !ApPkmtJbAE 01/22/09(Thu)20:54 No.3489585
    >>3489498

    Ooh, that ring's a nasty one.


    Carbuncle Amulet: The wearer of this gemstone amulet is completely immune to poison. however, they are subject to the formation of painful, contagious sores while the amulet is worn; if the amulet is removed, any sores will heal at the normal rate.
    >> 008 01/22/09(Thu)21:03 No.3489652
    The Recursive Amulet of Summoning: This amulet summons a Bone Wand of Summoning Recursive Amulets of Summoning. Both have 1 charge each.

    The Orb of Global Gender Redistribution: This globe, upon activating, randomly assigns a gender to every sentient in the world. This may garner the attention of various powerful beings not happy about their sudden reassignment.

    The Wooden Staff of the Peasant Railgun: This staff can be used as described in the Peasant Railgun thought experiment and it actually works. Can only be used once. Requires X amount of peasants.

    The Lute of the Deck of Many Things: Each strum on this instrument causes a single random card of the Deck of Many Things to shoot out and activate upon the player. Good for 52 strums.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)21:04 No.3489655
    Cloak of Fabulous Fancy

    +2 to all charisma, however all in the vicinity believe you to be attracted exclusively to the same sex.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)21:16 No.3489752
    Glass of Foregone Fornication: A dinner-plate sized framed piece of glass with no identifying marks. All people viewed through this glass will be replaced with an image of the last person they had sex with. Virgins are rendered invisible.

    Wand of negative energy healing: This wand will temporarily turn its target into an undead creature, then instantly hits it with a negative energy ray that heals 1d6 points of damage. Once the damage is healed, the target quickly turns back to its previous, non-undead state, very disoriented. Does not work on undead, does not work on inanimate objects.

    Saddle of Alarmed Equine: When a command word is spoken, any who approach the horse thereafter will cause the horse to begin baying and neighing at an impossibly loud volume. The horse will not stop until it has made noise for exactly 5 minutes. This effect is disabled with a separate, secret command word.

    Coconut of Wonders: When cracked open, this magical coconut will have a randomly selected alcoholic beverage inside instead of coconut milk. It only functions for one use.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)21:47 No.3489981
    Mad God's Omelette.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)21:58 No.3490109
    This stuff is pretty cool, I'm going to use some of these in my campaign. Thanks tg
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)22:03 No.3490157
    The Many-Use Mess: This item can transform into any non-expendable non-magic item worth 1gp or less. Doing so requires a move action. As a standard action, if this item is not in your hand, you may return it to your hand by speaking the command word. As a full round action, if this item is damaged, you may return it to a brand-new condition by speaking the command word.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)22:08 No.3490220
    Spoon Of Sundering - Allows the user to cut through any colloid dealing 1d6 damage. Add 2d6 additional damage if used against flan.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)22:11 No.3490249
    Cloak of Itching
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)22:12 No.3490262
    >>3490220
    Reminds me of my brother's +2 Spoon of Eating, designed for the destruction of another creation of his, the Jelloatinous Cube.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)22:12 No.3490263
         File :1232680374.jpg-(16 KB, 392x237, 153174698_d2a4f2d4b8_o.jpg)
    16 KB
    >>3488573
    "Hey guys look! Slick shoes! SLICK! SHOES!"
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)22:23 No.3490350
    >Ring of Dragon Detection: When worn, all dragons within 100 miles are made aware of you and your location. In fact, they cannot overlook or ignore this information. They are probably very annoyed.
    LOL
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)22:28 No.3490387
    >>3488933

    O SHI-

    I lold hard
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)22:50 No.3490582
    Whip of Orange Juice

    Whenever cracked in the air (not when used for an attack), the whip instantly creates a glass of pure orange juice where the whip snapped. Good for breakfast on the go, especially when combined with the Flail of Pastries.

    Actually an item used on a campaign I was in. Luckily it was lost two sessions after it was introduced (due to the character being eaten by a red dragon).
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)22:51 No.3490592
    >Saddle of Alarmed Equine: When a command word is spoken, any who approach the horse thereafter will cause the horse to begin baying and neighing at an impossibly loud volume. The horse will not stop until it has made noise for exactly 5 minutes. This effect is disabled with a separate, secret command word.
    Oh god, I shouldn't have lol'd as hard as I did.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)22:53 No.3490603
    >>3489752
    >Saddle of Alarmed Equine
    You made a car alarm for horses. Fuck you, you brilliant, brilliant man.
    >> Anonymous 01/22/09(Thu)23:59 No.3491162
    perhaps this thread needs the classic cloak of useless items...
    http://beneaththescreen.blogspot.com/2008/08/robe-of-useless-items.html
    >> Kyganil 01/23/09(Fri)00:02 No.3491181
    >>3488831
    "Honestly! I apologized the entire time but he wouldn't stop running into the pointy end!"
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)00:06 No.3491214
    Gloves of Water-walking.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)00:10 No.3491257
    Magic-detecting rock-
    Casts 'Detect Magic' on itself every 5 seconds. No other features.

    Cloak of Infinite Swords-
    Cloak contains two swords of infinite length within. They can never be fully withdrawn from the cloak.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)00:20 No.3491318
    Cthonic Cushion - This entirely normal-looking pillow carries a terrible curse. Every time someone falls asleep on it, there is a 1% chance that they will be astrally projected to a random location in the Far Realm. They are stuck there until they either leave magically, until something happens to wake the character's body, or until eight hours have passed. In any case, the character's spirit will be returned to the body when the effect ends.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)00:22 No.3491324
    >>3488831
    "ok guys. if we silently kill this one guard, we should be able to tip toe through without alerting the others. on my count, one, two"
    *stab*
    SORRY ABOUT THAT
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)00:28 No.3491364
    Scarab of Seeking: This insect-shaped piece of jewelry, once activated, will seek out whichever person its owner is thinking of at the time of activation. Unfortunately, while seeking, it becomes invisible and incorporeal. Whoever made it committed a major clerical oversight, as it also does not become visible nor corporeal again once it finds its target.

    Cloth of Erasure: A 4 inch by 4 inch piece of cloth. Any physical area rubbed or buffed with this cloth slowly becomes translucent. Any writing, distinguishing marks, or etched details on the object are rendered illegible and useless.

    Gem of All-Seeing: When held to the forehead, this magical gem allows the wielder to see everything. Ever. At once. No details or meaning can be discerned from this burst of sensory chaos unless one is already omniscient. If one is not omniscient, insanity is likely to result from using this item.

    Combined Quill of Ever-Ink and Tooth-Picking: When used to write a letter, this quill will effortlessly remove bits and scraps of food from paper. When used to pick one's teeth, infinite amounts of ink will flow from the tip.
    >> Mediocrates !!tG3QhWVtE/n 01/23/09(Fri)00:29 No.3491371
    there was a cursed item thread some weeks back and some DM had included a "Dagger of Healing" in their campaign, many injuries later the PCs find the residence of a 'Mr. Healing' or somesuch. Shit had me smirking hard.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)00:37 No.3491435
    Bottomless Handkerchief: This one foot by one foot square piece of cloth will slowly devour any organic substance in contact with it for more than several seconds. Though useful as a self-cleaning Handkerchief, be careful not to leave it in contact with your bare skin for too long.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)00:41 No.3491478
    Decanter of Endless Water Torture: This small vial, when uncorked, will produce one drop of water every 1+1d4 seconds.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)00:57 No.3491634
    >>3491364
    i fail to see how the cloth is a bad thing...
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)01:05 No.3491716
    someone archive this, crazy stuff in here
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)01:11 No.3491761
    Book of Pure Filth - Make a DC 15 Will save or suffer permanent Int damage equal to 1d4
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)01:30 No.3491936
    >>3491761

    Conversely: Book of Unexpected Arousal: A reader of this book must make a DC14 will save or become noticeably aroused. As if being aroused in public weren't enough, the actual contents of the book are not something the average person would imagine being aroused by, so they are also usually disturbed as well as embarrassed.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)01:38 No.3492000
    >>3491936
    Part of the Books of Questionable Content Series.

    Book of Horror - The contents of this book cause the reader to suffer the effects of a Power Word Fear spell.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)01:42 No.3492042
    Ever-flowing Vial of Scum
    Bag of Warts
    Never-ending Jar of Screams
    Circle of Horror
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:00 No.3492218
    >>3492000

    Book of Secrets - This book reveals one secret kept by your closest friend or family member, that you never, ever, under any circumstances, wanted to know.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:04 No.3492264
    >>3492218

    Book of Knowledge - This book makes your secrets known to all sentient beings within a 12 mile radius.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:09 No.3492304
    >>3492264
    Yes, even the one about the drunk centaur mare. Honestly, what were you thinking?
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:09 No.3492305
    >>3492264

    Very amusing, but doesn't really fit the theme, since how does your reading a book reveal information to other people?
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:11 No.3492325
    >>3492305
    They read the book before you, everything embarrassing you ever did, even that thing with the dragon, is in that book. The final page tells the reader to pass the book on.
    >> Red Wat 01/23/09(Fri)02:12 No.3492338
    Shoe of Communication: A shoe which can send and receive messages, connected mystically to a variety of other items of Communication. It signals that a message is arriving by a loud bell sound.
    Yes, I've been watching a lot of Get Smart lately.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:16 No.3492366
    >>3492338
    I fucking love you.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:17 No.3492377
    Tall Hat - This hat brings attention to the height of the wearer, making observers painfully aware of how short you are
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:19 No.3492407
    Box of Tiny Spoons - The contents of this box are far too tiny to be of any use
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:24 No.3492452
    Diamond of Worth: This extravagant and finely crafted diamond ring will, when worn, loudly and obnoxiously announce the price for which it was last purchased at every opportunity. If it was stolen, it will announce this also.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:26 No.3492469
    Chasity Belt - When worn, this garment will loudly narrate the wearer's sexual escapades in the form of a epic ballad.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:30 No.3492493
    >>3492469

    Imagine if the wearer is a virgin. All the times they diddled themselves would be all the more pathetic if made to sound epic and awesome.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:31 No.3492501
    You find a puzzle. The pieces look weathered and faded. When you assembled the puzzle the picture that is forming becomes more and more familiar. You realize that it is the room you sitting in right now, but in the window, is something inhuman and monstrous. The shade to the window is drawn and as you draw it...
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:32 No.3492517
    >>3492501
    Nothing happens.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:33 No.3492523
    >>3492501
    >>3492517
    It's called the Puzzle of Mental Coitus.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:34 No.3492533
    >>3492493
    HE BRAVELY TOUCHED HIMSELF AND CAME,
    AND THEN HE WALLOWED IN HIS SHAME
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:37 No.3492569
    An amulet that when worn makes the wearer catch a cold. He is contagious, but anyone who catches his 'cold' gets smallpox instead.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:39 No.3492590
    >>3492569
    What is the point of that? That's completely stupid and arbitrary.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:41 No.3492604
    Cursed items, try them sometime. Nothing better than punishing players with a quirky item. Or giving an NPC some flavor with an heirloom that they can't get rid of.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:42 No.3492609
    >>3492569
    Cloak of Sniffles - You have a permanent runny nose, you are unable to intimidate. You suffer a -10 on all charisma based actions
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:42 No.3492610
    A sword or piece of armor that randomly summons rust monsters when used.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:44 No.3492634
    Cloak of genocide

    Inflicts the wearer and anyone they contact with deadly smallpox. Only affects tribal and nomadic villagers
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:46 No.3492647
    Cloak of Invisibility.

    When worn, everything you wear turns invisible.

    You don't.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:47 No.3492655
    >>3492609

    -10? Jesus, does it cause explosive diarrhea that repels anything on two legs? I'd hate for you to be my Dm.
    >> Red Wat 01/23/09(Fri)02:48 No.3492670
    Coronet of Absurd Enhancement. Designed by a Dwarf who believed himself to be tough enough to handle it, who perished of alcohol poisoning the next day. Any substance the character wearing it takes is doubled. Healing potions become epic, but poison has its save DC double and does twice as much damage/drain. Alcohol is the exception; it is multiplied ten times, resulting in a small glass of wine being able to knock a young Dwarf beardling unconscious.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:49 No.3492675
    >>3492655
    The best part is, it was caused by the sniffles. My players tend to be cautious of items these days. Too bad you can't use detect evil on the DM.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:50 No.3492682
    >>3492655
    At first those words didn't make the right kind of sense, and there was a horrible mental image of a sniffling man standing in the center of a crowded room while everyone around him shot up into the air because of their explosive buttflow.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:54 No.3492727
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    Helm of Jynx: An old looking metal helmet that covers the head completely, aside from a slit for seeing out of. The wearer is completely silenced. It can only be removed by the person who put it on.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:55 No.3492730
    >>3488908
    >>3488976
    >>3488994
    >>3489070
    >>3489090

    It's not funny; it's retarded. There is nothing to get other than the fact that Gary was a stick-in-the-mud. While I'm glad he created the game, his fantasy is so restrictive it could hardly be called fantasy.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)02:57 No.3492761
    >>3492682
    Mask of Cat Speak - Causes the wearer to talk as if he was in close proximity to small fuzzy animals.
    >> Red Wat 01/23/09(Fri)03:00 No.3492779
    >>3492761
    And alone. That way it can also be used as an impromptu Detect Evil.
    Good character: You're a kitty!
    Evil character: You fucking little vermin.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:01 No.3492787
    >>3492761 + >>3492727 = ????
    >> Red Wat 01/23/09(Fri)03:02 No.3492801
    >>3492787
    Both would take up a head slot.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:03 No.3492809
    >>3492801
    :(
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:04 No.3492815
    Lute of Melodies - This enchanted instrument will play itself, supplying its owner with a constant accompanying theme song
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:06 No.3492836
    Ring of Voices - Causes the wearer to experience a DC 50 Power Word Paranoia spell.
    >> Red Wat 01/23/09(Fri)03:09 No.3492854
    Amulet of Double Entendres. The PC wearing this must twist every statement possible into a double entendre, however absurd things get. Not good for serious games.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:09 No.3492861
    >>3488573
    ...

    Oh god yes.

    Only, PC's should not suffer that indignity, nobles should.

    If, at any point you have a cunning ruler being opposed by his aristocrats, have his wizard go and do that to one of his enemy's boots.

    Have the ruler infuriate the baddy/pretentious douche.

    Have everyone laugh at him.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:11 No.3492872
    >>3492854
    Pants of Traveling - This garment will always disappear when most inappropriate
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:14 No.3492895
    Lucky Hat - The wearer must always make the most illogical and dangerous decision he is presented with. They are lucky if they manage to live
    >> 008 01/23/09(Fri)03:15 No.3492902
    The Ring of Angry Cats: This ring will randomly summon an angry cat that leaps at the wearers face. After it's removed it runs away.

    The Lockpick of Clothing: This simple looking lockpick will, upon contact with a target, make all their clothes unbutton, unbuckle, unzip, open and usually fall off.

    Lantern of Abnormal Light: This lantern makes things obscenely bright, even outdoors midday.

    Ring of Static Time: This ring causes time to stop for the wearer for 24 hours. During this time, the wearer can not interact with any object not on their person. Weapons will not pierce an enemy, cups can not be moved, etc. Anything released from the wearers hands falls an inch and becomes frozen in time. Light does not move either leaving the wearer effectivly blind in a "hall of mirrors" effect until it's over. The effect can not be manually turned off.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:17 No.3492917
    >>3492902
    Lantern of Subnormal Light - Everything appears as if it was bathed in a violent pink and green light
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:20 No.3492932
    >>3492917

    Lantern of Unreal Light. Everything looks like its light sources and colors were generated in the original Unreal engine. Read: Really really colorful.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:22 No.3492953
    The Interpretive Parrot - a small brass parrot that can translate anything spoken to it into stereotypical pirate-speech of the same language.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:23 No.3492958
    >>3492932
    Next Gen Lantern - Everything appears Grey with touches of Brown
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:23 No.3492961
    Wand of Magic Thistles - works just like a MM but only does 1 point of damage.

    Wand of Snowballs - Throws snowballs, no damage to normal targets.

    Bag of Winds - Contains a tornado that is released when opened.

    Helm of Waterbreathing - When activated this helm fills with water.

    Ghostly Gloves - These ragged white gloves cause a pair of hands to form 10 ft in front of the user. The hands follow the movements of the user and can be used to to light manual work. (i.e. not combat) when not worn the invisible hands like to push buttons, lock and unlock doors, set off trap, and pickpocket small items they then plant on the person carrying them.
    >> Birdskull !!V0v4ZL/UMiX 01/23/09(Fri)03:23 No.3492963
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    Lantern of lightness: This lantern weighs 2 grams. In all other aspects functions as a normal lantern.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:24 No.3492967
    Cursed Gloves of Strength : The wearer receives a huge boost in strength. When put on the wearers hands instantly clench into tight fists that cannot be opened.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:25 No.3492978
    Peg Leg of Holding - This artificial limb caries an infinite amount of squirrels
    >> Red Wat 01/23/09(Fri)03:26 No.3492985
    >>3492958
    Lantern of Games Workshop Science Fiction Settings, aka Lantern of Divide By Zero. When opened, this lantern creates a zone of utter cold and darkness that sears the sanity, and is treated as a save DC 20 Phantasmal Killer affecting all within the radius of a Darkness spell, every round. It starts covering a circle 20ft across, but if left open it continues to seep outwards at a rate of +10ft diameter per turn, until all life in the cosmos is exterminated and all stars have been devoured by the void.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:28 No.3493003
    >>3492985
    It takes all money in the area as well
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:28 No.3493006
    Bow of Breaking - This ratty old shortbow is a +5 weapon with improved critical. Also the string breaks every single god damn time it is fired.

    Vampire's Amulet - When activated this amulet heals and inflicts 1d10 damage, roll separately.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:32 No.3493028
    >>3493006
    Improved Bow of Breaking - Attempting to draw this bow results in the user's hand being broken
    >> Tallarnistan !!UfuiQdKkigU 01/23/09(Fri)03:32 No.3493034
    Equine of Name Recognition: Whenever the name of the horse's owner is spoken within one mile of the horse, it will whinny loud enough to be audiable to all those present for the speaking of the name.
    >> Red Wat 01/23/09(Fri)03:33 No.3493038
    >>3493003
    This rarely matters, because almost everyone in the area is dead.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:33 No.3493040
    Wondrous Bag of the Most Miraculous Gift - Looks like a bag of holding. The first time its opened it disappears, right after an infant of the same race and gender falls out... come to think of it... it looks a little like you too.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:34 No.3493047
    >>3493040
    You, sir, are a dick.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:37 No.3493075
    Bow of Infinite Arrows: This pink hair-ribbon has fractal directional arrows that dance over its surface when tied in a bow. It has no other effect.

    Platter of Deliciousness: Any edible substance placed on this platter begins to look and smell irresistibly delicious, no matter what it is or how horrible it tastes. All within 40 feet are compelled to take a bite.

    Rock of Throwing: If picked up, this rock will throw you 50 feet in a random direction.

    Necktie of Life: This necktie will animate any corpse whose neck it's placed around. If tied in a bow, the corpse will do one half of a vaudeville routine.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:38 No.3493077
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    Lantern of Gluttony: Fills the area with food instead of light.

    Lantern of Wrath: Enrages all creatures in the area.

    Lantern of Sloth: Slows movement of everything in the area.

    Lantern of Greed: Everything of ANY worth gravitates toward the lantern.

    Lantern of Pride: ????

    Lantern of Envy: ????

    Lantern of Lust: ????
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:42 No.3493112
    >>3493077

    Lantern of Pride: This lantern summons a group of lions.

    Lantern of Envy: All those within the radius of the Lantern -must possess the lantern-

    Lantern of lust: This is 4chan, I don't think we need to spell this one out for you
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:43 No.3493127
    >>3493077
    Pride gives the holder a greater appearance when it's light is cast on them, Envy gives other things a greater appearance, Lust sends anything illuminated into a wild, orgiastic frenzy.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:44 No.3493131
    >>3493077
    Lantern of Lust: In charisma of all creatures in the area. All creatures in the area appear nude.
    >> Tallarnistan !!UfuiQdKkigU 01/23/09(Fri)03:45 No.3493141
    Cursed Longsword of the Vampire's Revenge: each successful hit causes one level to be drained from the wielder and transferred to the target.

    Arrow of Eroticism: Targets struck by the Arrow are immediately, permanently and overwhelmingly physically attracted to the first sentient being they lay eyes upon.

    Cursed Ring of Illithid's Delight: Wearer has their intelligence set to 25, but are immediately and permanently silenced and frozen in place.

    Cursed Ring of Inverse Detect Evil: Wearer gains the ability to cast Detect Evil once per level per day. Any Detect Evil spell cast by wearer will cause those of good or neutral alignment to glow red briefly. Those of evil alignment are unaffected.

    Dart of Precision: Enchantments upon this dart will cause it to fly unerringly towards the center of the closest red, black, green and white circle it can find. Under no circumstances wear anything with a target on it.

    Cursed Gloves of Masturbation: Forces the wearer to masturbate ceaslessly regardless of matters such as physical fatigue or level of arousal.
    >> Tvmbledown !!eYuQGZHZNYM 01/23/09(Fri)03:48 No.3493164
    >>3493034
    >Equine of Name Recognition: Whenever the name of the horse's owner is spoken within one mile of the horse, it will whinny loud enough to be audiable to all those present for the speaking of the name.

    BLUCHER!!!
    >> Tallarnistan !!UfuiQdKkigU 01/23/09(Fri)03:56 No.3493219
    >>3493164

    10 points!
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:56 No.3493224
    >>3493141 Cursed Gloves of Masturbation: Forces the wearer to masturbate ceaslessly regardless of matters such as physical fatigue or level of arousal.

    bring this to /d/, it will be most useful.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:57 No.3493233
    Potion of Rerolling - These potions effect a predetermined stat (or you could roll randomly). Roll d6 and subtract, and another d6 and add to the effected stat.

    Potion of Greater Rerolling - As above but it effects all stats.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)03:59 No.3493250
    >>3493141
    Distilled from the essence of a teenage boy.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)04:01 No.3493265
    Club of Crickets

    +6 vs all undead. Owner receives no experience for killing undead.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)04:02 No.3493280
    Book of Literacy: Whoever reads the contents of this book aloud becomes literate. Whoever created this item didn't think things through.

    Boots of Springstep: Every few paces, the wearer of these boots just -happens- to step on a very sharp spring.

    Gloves of Legot: These gloves form the wearer's hands into C-shapes that can only grip round poles and staves of a very specific diameter.

    Bracers of Amour: The wearer of these bracers loves everything, and everyone.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)04:04 No.3493293
    >>3493265
    Tie of Bright Ideas
    This intelligent item is said to contain the spirit of a hero from a time and place far from the wearer's world. When faced with any puzzle, dilemma, or planning its first and most insistent suggestion is to hole up in the pub.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)04:04 No.3493296
    >>3493280

    >Book of Literacy: Whoever reads the contents of this book aloud becomes literate. Whoever created this item didn't think things through.

    That might be the best item ever.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)04:10 No.3493335
    Holy Wafer: Effectively weightless, this thin tasteless disk will sustain a Paladin as normal rations for 1 week. Eating one counts as committing an act of cannibalism.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)04:14 No.3493369
    >>3493164
    +1000 internets
    >>3488675
    >Cannot be worn by females.
    It was good until that part.

    My own contribution: Paper Bag of Invisibility. When this ordinary-looking paper bag is placed over a person's head, they immediately suffer a blindness effect (no save) for the entire duration that the bag is worn. Likewise, all others within visual range cannot see the wearer (no save). The effect only ends when the bag is removed, and any senses besides sight are uneffected.
    >> Tallarnistan !!UfuiQdKkigU 01/23/09(Fri)04:15 No.3493384
    Belt of Ogre Flatulence: Wearer's farts are treated as a Stinking Cloud spell.

    Belt of Hill Giant Flatulence: Wearer's farts are treated as a Cloudkill spell.

    Belt of Fire Giant Flatulence: Wearer's farts are treated as an Incendiary Cloud spell.

    Belt of Lich Flatulence: Wearer's farts are treated as a Horrid Wilting spell.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)04:15 No.3493385
    >>3493293
    awesome.jpg
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)04:16 No.3493390
    >>3493335
    Eating a Holy Wager makes the Paladin fall. You are an ass of the highest caliber.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)04:17 No.3493400
    This better have been archived.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)04:21 No.3493427
    Bag of Dirty Tricks - This belt pouch contains 20 items, the first 19 are simple items that the person pulling the item out need right at that moment. Holy water if fighting undead, food if hungry, heal potion if injured, etc, the 20th item is a small, very poisonous, snake.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)04:23 No.3493439
    >>3493369
    Artifact variation: Blind Man's Bluff. Whenever the bag is worn, there is a 25% chance that the wearer will be able to see for a few moments while invisible. This effect lasts a number of rounds equal to 1d4+ the character's wisdom bonus. However, there is also a 25% chance that the bag will only blind the wearer, and opponents will not suffer the blindness effect. The remaining 50% of the time, the bag functions as normal. The fun part is, you can't always tell when it's working or not, making Blind Man's Bluff rather dangerous to use.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)04:23 No.3493440
    Bean of Awkwardness: Eating this single bean sustains an adventurer as if it were a full day's worth of trail rations. Doing so also summons a very confused and bewildered Rowland Atkinson.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)04:24 No.3493447
    God this thread is retarded, but at least it's slightly original
    >> Tallarnistan !!UfuiQdKkigU 01/23/09(Fri)04:26 No.3493457
    Belt of the Moon: When worn by females, wearer suffers from abdominal bloating and cramps, stress, anxiety, insomnia, joint and muscle pain, headaches, fatigue, acne, severe mood swings, heightened emotions, and an insatiable appetite for chocolate. No effect when worn by males.
    >> Tallarnistan !!UfuiQdKkigU 01/23/09(Fri)04:35 No.3493519
    Ring of Potential Invisibility: Wearer becomes invisible as long as they are not being directly observed by any sentient creature. Being observed removes the invisibility effect immediately.

    TOBACCO SHOP OF HORRORS

    Cigarette of Healing: Appears to be an ordinary cigarette. Smoking this cigarette will cause1d6 hitpoints per level of smoker to be restored for every second the cigarette is smoked.

    Cigarette of Firebreathing: Appears to be an ordinary cigarette. Smoking this cigarette will immediately cause flames to burst forward from the smoker's mouth, engulfing everything within a radius of twenty feet from the caster. Objects hit by flame suffer 2D12 points of fire damage with a reflex save for half damage. Inhaling is not recommended.

    Cigarette of Detect Evil: Appears to be an ordinary cigarette. Smoking this cigarette will cause anything of evil alignment to be temporarily engulfed in a cloud of red smoke.

    Cigarette of Monster Summoning: Appears to be an ordinary cigarette. Smoking this cigarette will cause D3 random hostile creatures of between four and eight hit dice to spawn within twenty feet of the smoker.

    Cigarette of Charisma: Appears to be an ordinary cigarette. Smoking this cigarette increases the smoker's charisma by 10.
    >> Tallarnistan !!UfuiQdKkigU 01/23/09(Fri)04:43 No.3493582
    >>3493519
    >>Cigarette of Charisma: Appears to be an ordinary cigarette. Smoking this cigarette increases the smoker's charisma by 10 while being smoked.
    fix'd

    Cigarette of Ephermal Power: Appears to be an ordinary cigarette. Smoking this cigarette causes all spells cast while smoking to be unresistable, ignore all spell defenses and magical immunities and causes the spell to produce the maximum results possible (damage, healing, etc).

    Freudian Cigarette: Appears to be an ordinary cigarette. Smoking this cigarette causes the smoker to suffer an obsession with marble columns while smoking. It is advised that the smoker should never smoke this cigarette in the presence of their mother.

    Cigarette of Danger Sense: Appears to be an ordinary cigarette. Smoking this cigarette causes all traps (both magical and mechanical) within twenty feet of the smoker to be illuminated by small clouds of red smoke.

    Cigarette of the Pariah: Appears to be an ordinary cigarette. Smoking this cigarette causes all nearby humanoids to regard the smoker with ill-concealed disgust. Those affected will most likely lecture the smoker on their personal habits and hygene, and urge the smoker to extinguish the cigarette, citing health reasons.

    Cigarette of Addiction: Appears to be an ordinary cigarette. Smoking this cigarette casts a powerful curse on the smoker. They are immediately filled with an overwhelming need to be smoking a cigarette at all times - fighting, sleeping, bathing, etc - and become extremely hostile when deprived.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)04:43 No.3493585
    Heart of Gold
    An elegant longsword with a golden heart carved on it. Drawing it causes the wielder and any intelligent beings within 30 feet of him/her to teleport to a random place/time/plane/dimension. Upon arrival they will find the sword 1 to 100 ft away and sheathed in a random object or being. (It might also no longer be a sword)
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)04:53 No.3493658
    >>3493585
    Hitchikers' Guide references FTW.

    Alternate Heart of Gold - the gilded heart of a prostitute that will change a creature's alignment to chaotic good.
    >> Tallarnistan !!UfuiQdKkigU 01/23/09(Fri)04:54 No.3493664
    Cigarette of Nausea: Appears to be an ordinary cigarette. Smoking this cigarette causes the smoker to projectile vomit uncontrollably. Anyone inhaling or smelling the smoke from this cigarette are likewise afflicted with uncontrollable projectile vomiting.

    Cigarette of Insensitivity: Appears to be an ordinary cigarette. Smoking this cigarette causes two effects: the smoker's intelligence is set to 25, and the smoker is forced to uncontrollably spout insults at everyone nearby. Due to the hightened intelligence of the smoker the insults are particularly nasty and invariably call attention to the feature or features that their victim would be most insulted by, even if they would have no reason to have any knowledge of said reason - for example, poking fun at a death in the family of a complete stranger. Smoker is unable to speak or gesture anything other than insults while smoking. If smoker stops smoking, they suffer an immediate mind wipe and are unaware of anything they said or did while smoking.

    Cigarette of Sticky Fingers: Appears to be an ordinary cigarette. Smoking this cigarette inflicts intense kleptomania on the smoker, forcing them to steal anything and everything they can get their hands on. While smoking, the smoker possesses the skills of a master thief and their dexterity is raised to 25.

    Cigarette of Depression: Appears to be an ordinary cigarette. Smoking this cigarette causes the smoker to sink into a deep psychological depression. Smoker invariably displays alcoholic tendancies and may attempt suicide if left unattended.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)04:56 No.3493680
    >>3493664 Cigarette of Nausea: Appears to be an ordinary cigarette. Smoking this cigarette causes the smoker to projectile vomit uncontrollably. Anyone inhaling or smelling the smoke from this cigarette are likewise afflicted with uncontrollable projectile vomiting.

    Appears for all intents and purposes to be a Winnie Blue.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)04:59 No.3493702
    >>3493658
    Thank you.
    I have used this. I had a game go totally to shit and just dropped it in as a last bit of BS before everyone quit. It turned into something not unlike Sliders and a good time was had by all for a while. (Then it got a bit old)
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)05:11 No.3493776
    The conspicuous hat of inconspicuousity: This highly flamboyant hat draws the attention of all within sight, but the wearer of the hat is completely ignored. those viewing the hat may have mixed feelings over its presence (love, envy, hatred, disgust, astonishment) determined randomly.

    the inconspicuous hat of conspicuousity: this drab, small hat is unremarkable. The wearer fails all stealth checks automatically, but doesn't appear to be wearing a hat. The hat does not take up a head slot.

    When worn together, the wearer is either granted improved invisibility, or is permanently destroyed, depending on which hat is put on first.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)05:17 No.3493817
    Mask of dragon breath.
    Your breath smells foul.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)05:23 No.3493854
    >>3491761
    THIS PAGE.

    THIS PAAAGE.

    ALL THESE PAGES!
    >> Coyote 01/23/09(Fri)05:27 No.3493880
    >>3492902
    >The Lockpick of Clothing
    Poke that fucking black guard with the demon armor in the back with that and watch his AC hit the floor in a clatter.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)05:48 No.3494011
    Rod of Corruption - Appears to have no effect. When used as a walking stick will immediately cause fungus to grow where ever ti touches and hoorible damage to streets and floors. Minor tend to leave graffiti in its wake. Politicans seem immune to its effects.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)06:20 No.3494187
    >>3492815
    >>3492953
    >>3493293
    WANT
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)06:41 No.3494310
    >>3492682
    oh god I lol'd uncontrollably for about 30 seconds straight

    you are a bad person
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)07:36 No.3494664
    Scroll of Teleportation - Upon being read, this mystic scroll teleports out of the reader's hands to a random location with 3 miles.

    Boots of Light-step - When wearing both boots, the soles of the wearer's feet light up as bright as a torch whenever he walks or runs.

    Amulet of Detect Thoughts - The wearer of this amulet immediately becomes aware of his own thoughts, and will likely feel bad about it for a little while.

    Gloves of Dextrous Manipulation +2 - When worn together, these gloves compel the wearer to grab, pinch, twiddle, rub, scratch, and otherwise do strange things with both of his hands at all times until they're removed by another person.

    Wand of Fear - When activated, all creatures (including the wielder and even creatures immune to fear) must run as fast as possible from the wand.

    Helm of Impenetrability - Once worn, nothing may pierce, dent, or enter this helm. Not even air.

    Bag of Withholding - This enchanted bag can hold up to 25 cubic feet or 150 lbs worth of items (whichever is reached first). They may not be retrieved from the bag, under any circumstances.

    Headband of Intellect +1 - This enchanted headband is sentient, and constantly makes witty (usually sarcastic) remarks that only the wearer can hear.

    Belt of Ogre Strength - This simple belt has a simple iron buckle and appears to be made of dark brown leather. It weighs 212 pounds.

    Quiver of Seeking Arrows - This quiver is never empty; it always has a full stock of arrows. When fired, the arrows change course midflight to return to the quiver from which they were drawn.

    Elven Chainmail Armor - This appears to be lightly enchanted, elven chainmail armor. Once worn, 1d3 days later the wearer will wake up amongst a pile of fully written letters addressed to him. They are all written in elven, and if translated each letter places a unique, horrifying curse on the wearer should he refuse to send that letter to another person.
    >> Envy 01/23/09(Fri)07:54 No.3494794
    >>3494664
    Whups, forgot my namefaggotry. More stuff here.

    Coat of Useful Items - When reached into, the coat always provides the wearer with a useful item, such as a hairbrush, a pair of tweezers, or a handkerchief. In all cases, these items are visible used; a hairbrush will have many different colors of hairs stuck in it, and a handkerchief will be visibly stained by questionable substances.

    Ever-tuned Lute - This gilded, elegant and finely crafted lute is always drastically out of tune and all attempts to tune it fail.

    Bracers of Toughness - When worn, the wearer is filled with the undisputed notion that he is indeed very tough, and will go out of his way to pick fights with random tough-looking guys.

    Longbow of the Setting Sun - Often mistaken for the ancient, famed relic of the same name, this elven longbow causes the wielder to see an immensely beautiful sunset whenever an arrow is fired, often resulting in the shedding of a single tear.

    Enchanted Bastard Sword - The first time this sword draws blood, the wielder immediately reaches a revelation that his father abandoned him before he was born, and may go so far as to accuse the man he thought was his father of being a treacherous, lying fiend. If wielded by a female, it simply functions as a +1 Bastard Sword.

    Scythe of Tortured Soles - Whenever an enemy is struck by this weapon, both his shoes and the shoes of the wielder immediately unlace themselves and fly off of their wearer's feet, knocking both of them prone.

    Rod of Giant Strength - When activated, this magic rod multiplies to twenty four times its original size and weight.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)08:14 No.3494935
    >>3493038
    It does. Or it will once the players have figured out how to close it remotely.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)09:44 No.3495508
    >>3493457

    Or alternatively, when worn by a male he is filled by an uncontrollable fear of all sentient females.
    >> Anonymous 01/23/09(Fri)09:45 No.3495514
    Is this archived yet? It would come in handy for future games.



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