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  • File :1231401150.png-(27 KB, 600x400, dorf 26.png)
    27 KB gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)02:52 No.3345091  
    Continued from >>3343335

    You buy some equipment before you go. Now armed with a PICKAXE, an AX, 2 TORCHES, 20 feet of ROPE, and a DOOR SHIELD, you look out over the landscape ahead of you.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)02:54 No.3345104
    That's one Dorfy sun.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)02:54 No.3345107
    GO DIRECTLY TO HYDRA SWAMP

    also oh god dorf sun
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)02:54 No.3345110
    set forth grimly
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)02:55 No.3345117
    Wave to the sun then go find that hydra.
    >> 01/08/09(Thu)02:55 No.3345118
    Summon all your dorfyness and jump to the Hydras location on ONE GREAT LEAP.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)02:55 No.3345122
    tie torches with rope. Fire jugle for the 5k gold THEN we kill the hydra
    >> Awful Good 01/08/09(Thu)02:56 No.3345124
    With the rays of Dorf Sun caressing your skin like a freshly brewed beer bath, you set forth with renewed vigor.

    On to the Hydra swamp, let them know why they once feared the beard.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:03 No.3345159
    WHY ARE WE NOT HEADED FOR THE HYDRA SWAMP

    DRAW FASTER ALREADY
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)03:04 No.3345171
         File :1231401853.png-(16 KB, 600x400, dorf 27.png)
    16 KB
    >>3345118

    That's stupid. You walk.

    It is sunset when you arrive. Sunbeard's light shines on you no more.

    The ground ahead is treacherous and damp. The trees, however, and scraggly and tall. You laugh at how they remind you of elves.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:04 No.3345178
    Fight the sun.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:05 No.3345181
    >>3345171
    Practice your ANCIENT DORFEN FIGHTING TECHNIQUE: DEFORESTATION on the trees.

    You're going to need it for the Hydra.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:05 No.3345184
    >>3345171
    BLUDGEON THE ELVES
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:06 No.3345189
    The swamp was... south, right?

    SOUTHWARD HOOOO!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:06 No.3345190
    set fire to trees with torch. Hopefully this will catch the eye of the hydra.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:07 No.3345198
    Life is like a Earthquake...
    Here, in, Dorfs-berg
    Pickaxes, axes, and beards - it's a dorf blur
    You might drink an Elf's tree,
    or even fifty!

    DORF TALES! Oo-oo
    Tales of dorfs drinking bad and good mug ales, oo-oo
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)03:07 No.3345200
         File :1231402056.png-(10 KB, 600x400, dorf 28.png)
    10 KB
    >>3345181
    This sounds like a good idea. You head in to practice, and you- Oh! Pretty lights!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:07 No.3345203
    >>3345171

    If it's sunset, you'll need to make camp.

    Cut down a tree for firewood, and set your doorshield into the ground so you can't get attacked from behind.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:08 No.3345208
    >>3345203

    FUCK WHY AM I SO SLOW
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:10 No.3345216
    >>3345200
    Am I likely to be eaten by a grue?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:10 No.3345221
    EXAMINE LIGHTS
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:10 No.3345223
    light a torch, those "lights" might be eyes.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:11 No.3345226
    >>3345203
    You're kidding me. He's a DORF and a ZOMBIE.

    There will be no camping.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:11 No.3345229
    F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:11 No.3345230
    >>3345200
    THIS IS CLEARLY AN ELF TRICK

    YELL LOUDLY AND ANGRILY AT PRETTY LIGHTS
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:14 No.3345245
    >>3345226

    We do not yet know the extent of his zombiery.

    At the minimum, do the dorfenly (and zombie-ly) thing;

    Dig a shallow grave-like pit and put your door on top of it.
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)03:14 No.3345247
         File :1231402476.png-(24 KB, 600x400, dorf 29.png)
    24 KB
    You chase them for a while, but they always stay juuuust beyond your reach.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:15 No.3345252
    >>3345247
    NO
    STOP EXAMINING LIGHTS
    THEY ARE DANCING
    ERGO THEY ARE LIKE ELVES
    HATED DESPICABLE ELVES
    CUT DOWN THE TREES TO SPITE THEM
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:16 No.3345259
    Wait!

    night? zombie? lights?

    DO THE THRILLER DANCE
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:16 No.3345260
    Throw Shield at red light.

    Teach those bastards not to run from a DORF.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:18 No.3345267
    >>3345247
    use AXE on TREES
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:18 No.3345269
    ...Why didn't we upgrade our shield in town?

    Keep an eye out for a more dorfy shield.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:19 No.3345273
    >>3345269

    THERE IS NO MORE DORFY A SHIELD THAN A STONE DOOR
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:20 No.3345277
    >>3345247
    If you drop all your equipment and strip naked you should be able to run fast enough to catch them.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:20 No.3345278
    >>3345269
    More dwarfy than a STONE DOOR?

    You've lost all dwarf rights.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:20 No.3345281
    >>3345269
    YOU THINK YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN DOORSHIELD?

    GET THE FUCK OUT
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:20 No.3345282
    >>3345273
    Oh my mistake, I though it was a gay wood one.

    Carry on.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:21 No.3345283
    >>3345267
    Neddie! How dare you hit Moriarty in his axe with the full force of your trunk!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:22 No.3345287
    >>3345281
    Adamantium shield, with adamantium bands, adamantium spikes, and diamond inlaid images of beer and wenches
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:22 No.3345290
    >>3345287
    THAT SOUNDS LIKE NOBLE TALK

    ARE YOU A LAZY NOBLE, YOU PIECE OF SHIT?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:23 No.3345292
    Hold up, guys. This is a zombie in a swamp.

    He's in his element. Zombies get a movement bonus in swamps and are immune to the diseases and mental trickery of swamp gas.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:23 No.3345297
    >>3345287
    MENECING WITH SPIKES OF SPIKES
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)03:24 No.3345301
         File :1231403087.png-(32 KB, 600x400, dorf 30.png)
    32 KB
    >>3345230
    The dancing, the prancing, the playing hard to get, the charging-twice-as-much-as-other-whores... These lights are clearly the work of elves.

    You find a nice mound to stand on top of... and cuss the FUCK out of those damn lights.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:28 No.3345327
    burrow into mound with pickaxe
    put shield over hole
    nap until light outside
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)03:29 No.3345329
         File :1231403341.png-(26 KB, 600x400, dorf 31.png)
    26 KB
    Hmm, they seem to have fled the moment you began to yell.

    Serves 'em right, the bastards.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:30 No.3345337
    >>3345329
    turn around QUICKLY! shield first.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:30 No.3345338
    >>3345329
    Greet the zombie brethren.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:30 No.3345341
    >>3345329
    oh fuck hydra

    REFLEX SAVE
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:30 No.3345342
    >>3345329
    RELISH OUR CONQUEST OF THOSE MINCING ELF-TORCHES

    THEN SURVEY THE LAND IN ALL DIRECTIONS
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)03:31 No.3345350
    rolled 3 = 3

    >>3345341
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:33 No.3345358
    >>3345350
    SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:33 No.3345360
    >>3345350
    THIS MAY WORK IN OUR FAVOR IF HE SWALLOWS US WHOLE

    COMMENCE OPERATION HYDRA MINE
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:33 No.3345365
    >>3345350
    You forgot to add the zombie speed bonus from >>3345292 and that's a clear +5.

    Re-roll and add it properly this time.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:35 No.3345376
    >>3345292
    TURN AROUND!

    IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO WHIP OUT YOUR ANCIENT DORFEN FIGHTING TECHNIQUE: DEFORESTATION ON THE HEADS!

    YOUR ANCESTORS DEMAND IT.
    >> Noggle !l/UpXGV2uE 01/08/09(Thu)03:36 No.3345379
    >>3345376
    I'm sorry, if these were ents, that would work.

    ...or even elves in REALLY convincing wooden armor.
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)03:37 No.3345382
         File :1231403846.png-(24 KB, 600x400, dorf 32.png)
    24 KB
    >>3345365

    I rolled a flat 1d20. After a +6 total Reflex save...

    ...you lose your arm. And your ax.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:38 No.3345385
    >>3345382
    fuck the axe it would just make them grow new heads

    time for some shield bashing
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:39 No.3345386
    >>3345382
    WEDGE THAT FUCKERS MOUTH OPEN WITH SHIELD. CRAWL IN WITH PICK AXE.

    RIP N' TEAR RIP N' TEAR
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:39 No.3345388
    >>3345382
    Zombies feel no pain. Utilize your telekinetic powers to fetch your axe and begin telekinetically fighting.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:39 No.3345390
    Slash open the belly with your blunt door shield.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:39 No.3345391
    >>3345382
    OPERATION HYDRA MINE IS A NO-GO

    COMMENCE OPERATION CLUB THAT FUCKER TO DEATH WITH OUR SHIELD
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:39 No.3345392
    >>3345382
    STRANGLE ALL THREE HEADS AT ONCE WITH YOUR ROPE
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:39 No.3345394
    >>3345382
    THAT'S THE ARM WE HOLD BEER WITH.

    FUCK THAT, WE ARE GETTING ANGRY NOW.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:40 No.3345396
    LASSO HYDRA
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:44 No.3345413
    >>3345382
    >>USE other ARM and PICK on HEAD with your ARM in it's mouth
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)03:48 No.3345435
         File :1231404524.png-(25 KB, 600x400, dorf 33.png)
    25 KB
    >>3345385
    >>3345390

    You shield bash the FUCK outta' him.

    With an ear splitting crack, you slam the offending hydra head in the jaw. You see a couple teeth fly out, as well as your arm. Your shield also cracks. Fuck.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:50 No.3345447
    >>3345435

    Oh fuck. Our arm AND our shield? This bastard needs to die now!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:50 No.3345450
    keep spinning, nail the other heads and run for the arm/axe while they are all stunned.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:51 No.3345453
    >>3345435
    CONTINUE BASHING WITH DOORSHIELD UNTIL EITHER IT OR THE HYDRA'S HEAD IS BROKEN
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:51 No.3345455
    >>3345435
    Smash the shield over the next ones head, if it breaks continue savage beatings with the half of door.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:52 No.3345461
    >>3345447
    LIGHT A TORCH! With all the swamp gas in the air, the Hydra should go up like a fuel air bomb!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:52 No.3345464
    OR WE COULD JUMP INTO IT'S MOUTH AND COMMENCE OPERATION HYDRA MINE
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:53 No.3345474
    THE FUCKING DOORSHIELD BROKE, BULLSHIT! ANY WAY, FLY INTO A DORFIN RAGE AND RUIN THIS MOTHERFUCKER WITH OUR CRACKED SHIELD
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:54 No.3345476
    >>3345435
    DERIDE the HYDRA for lacking A DWARFLY BEARD
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:55 No.3345479
    >>3345476
    Its beardlessness is punishment enough.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:56 No.3345484
    >>3345435
    The other two heads show they have separate intelligence. This means it is 3v1. Dwarven martial trances are in effect.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:56 No.3345487
    >>3345464
    BEAT INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS, RETRIEVE AXE, CLIMB INTO MOUTH TO BEGIN HACKING AWAY AT ITS INSIDES
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)03:58 No.3345492
    >>3345464
    WE BEAT THE SHIT OUT IF IT FIRST, THEN WE JUMP DOWN ITS THROAT AND RIP OUT ITS HEART
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)03:58 No.3345495
         File :1231405097.png-(26 KB, 600x400, dorf 34.png)
    26 KB
    >>3345453
    >>3345455
    >>3345474

    The first head falls to the water with a splash! You would congratulate yourself, but the other two give you no time.

    Rushing in, you spin quickly and smash another head aside.

    >>3345479
    Spoken like a true Dorf. All anons, look to this anon for guidance on all things Dorfy.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:00 No.3345514
    Headbutt the head in front of us, prepare to thwack other head we knocked aside again if it comes at us.
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)04:00 No.3345518
    >>3345495
    FFFF forgot to mention: The shield is now cracked in half.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:01 No.3345523
    >>3345495
    EASIER TO SWING NOW

    CONTINUE SMASHING HYDRA HEADS
    >> Noggle !l/UpXGV2uE 01/08/09(Thu)04:01 No.3345526
         File :1231405316.png-(103 KB, 708x2196, DORFtossing.png)
    103 KB
    Pic is related as to my suggestion on next course of actions
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:02 No.3345530
    Remember, we don't want to BEHEAD the Hydra, just beat it to death so that more heads WON'T grow.
    >> 01/08/09(Thu)04:03 No.3345535
    >>3345495
    We are undead, right?

    Why can't we get our arm and just JAM IT BACK ON?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:03 No.3345536
    The shield is but a tool, the dorf is the weapon.

    Use the rope as crude reins, and ride the intact motherfucking head.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:03 No.3345537
    Use beard attack on right head and block left head with broken doorshield.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:04 No.3345542
    >>3345535
    SUGGESTION: DO THAT, BUT WITH THE DOORSHIELD INSTEAD.
    Yes ladies, my arm /is/ a door. Might I say you all have /very fine/ dorfy beards.
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)04:05 No.3345546
         File :1231405527.png-(17 KB, 600x400, dorf 35.png)
    17 KB
    Sorry to disappoint, all, but Hydras are pretty badass too. And Challenge Rating 6.

    Its teeth dig into your chest. Unfortunately, it got your beard, too. The shield falls from your hands.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:07 No.3345554
    Game over, beard is defeated
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:07 No.3345555
    >>3345546
    FFFFFFFFFFFFFF
    Let him finish off the beard. Straight to the stomach, a dorf's beard will finish off a pussy cr6 hydra-elf-fag.
    >> Awful Good 01/08/09(Thu)04:07 No.3345557
    >>3345546

    FFFFFFFFF
    GO FOR THE EYES!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:07 No.3345561
    >>3345557
    voting for this
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:08 No.3345563
    USE HEALING SCROLL! NOOWWWW!!
    >> Badger 01/08/09(Thu)04:08 No.3345564
    Dive in, Beard First!

    CHOKE ON THAT BITCH!


    Hydras cannot possibly deal with a dwarf beard hairball.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:08 No.3345566
    >>3345563
    But what happens with heal on undead? THINK MOAR
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:10 No.3345569
    >>3345546
    NO ONE FUCKS WITH THE BEARD

    TEAR OUT HIS EYE. AS IT YELLS IN PAIN, CRAWL IN AND PICK OUT THAT FUCKERS HEART
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:10 No.3345572
    FFFFFFFFFFFFUUCK!

    Our beard is lost to us, but maybe the resurrection will restore it. Ignite the lost beard so it burns the hydra to death from the inside out.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:11 No.3345577
    >>3345546

    Foolish Hydra! Consuming the beard of a Dwarf will slowly turn you into one - it's like lycanthropy, only shorter and hairer! We may lose our body, but we will be reborn - with more heads!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:12 No.3345584
    >>3345546
    Dwarves feel no pain. Zombies feel no pain. That means you have DOUBLE PAIN IMMUNITY and are in fact boosted by pain.

    Use your damage boost to REND YOUR FIST THROUGH ONE OF HIS EYES AND OUT THE OTHER.
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)04:12 No.3345585
         File :1231405956.png-(12 KB, 600x400, dorf 36.png)
    12 KB
    >>3345557
    >>3345569

    [[cutscene cutscene cutscene]]

    It lifts you in the air, and flails you around a bit.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:14 No.3345594
    >>3345585
    HIT "A" REPEATEDLY! THIS IS ONE OF THEM FAKE CUTSCENES!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:14 No.3345598
    >>3345585
    Does that mean we managed to rip out an eye or two?
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)04:16 No.3345608
         File :1231406213.png-(21 KB, 600x400, dorf 37.png)
    21 KB
    >>3345585
    You stab it in the eye with your pick, which no one noticed you draw due to your Thief level. It lets you go as it wails in pain.

    [[cutscene cutscene cutscene]]
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:17 No.3345612
    up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, A, B, Start
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:17 No.3345619
    3345569 says rip out heart...we'll see what happens when the cutscene plays
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:18 No.3345620
    >>3345585
    STRANGLE ITS NECK WITH YOUR HAND

    NOT DOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT

    BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF HIM FROM THE INSIDE IF YOU MUST

    USE YOUR DORFY RAGE
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)04:21 No.3345642
         File :1231406516.png-(23 KB, 600x400, dorf 38.png)
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    >>3345608

    You flip over on top of the monster, twisting your pick as leverage. As you land, you heel-drop the remaining eye.

    You are now atop a one headed, blind hydra. /end cutscene.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:21 No.3345643
    >>3345608
    Use PICK to MINE a 5ft long tunnel into this head
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:22 No.3345646
    >>3345642
    Strangle with Rope.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:23 No.3345647
    RIDE HYDRA back to PRIEST! RIP out HEART on arrival.
    >> GURPSfag 01/08/09(Thu)04:24 No.3345655
    >>3345642

    Headbutt it with your horned helmet!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:24 No.3345660
    Leap to the other hydra head with the pic axe.

    you ever see reign of fire?

    Yeah
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:25 No.3345661
    >>3345642
    Use your zombie speed boost to run across thin air to another hydra's head and do the same.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:25 No.3345664
    >>3345647
    This
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:25 No.3345666
    >>3345642
    Hi-ho Silver, Make this head attack the other head while shouting "Get off my land you cotten picken claim jumpers"
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:27 No.3345677
         File :1231406856.jpg-(4 KB, 344x260, reign_of_fire.jpg)
    4 KB
    >>3345660
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:27 No.3345678
    This
    >>3345647
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:28 No.3345679
    we still dont have any cash
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:34 No.3345703
    >>3345679
    WRONG! We have 17 gold!
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)04:34 No.3345705
         File :1231407290.gif-(27 KB, 600x400, dorf 39.gif)
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    >>3345655

    Your only arm is holding you atop the beast. The other two heads are already down. You have no weapons left.

    You headbutt it repeatedly. One of your heads is gonna break first, and the hydra forgot its helmet.

    Animooted!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:35 No.3345707
    >>3345703
    we need 5 thousand dude and we bought the pick, rope, and torches
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)04:35 No.3345709
    >>3345703
    No, you spent all your gold on a PICK AXE, 2 TORCHES, and ROPE.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:36 No.3345715
    Do you know how strong dorf skulls are? We can not lose.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:36 No.3345717
    >>3345709
    I still say we should have lit the Hydra on fire...
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:36 No.3345718
         File :1231407417.jpg-(68 KB, 500x275, mother of god.jpg)
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    >>3345705
    That's one of the manliest things I have ever read.
    >> Awful Good 01/08/09(Thu)04:37 No.3345721
    >>3345705

    Split open its headwith amighty dorfish headbutt, then climb inside and RIP AND TEAR everything your hands can reach.
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)04:37 No.3345722
         File :1231407454.gif-(27 KB, 600x400, dorf 39.gif)
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    >>3345705
    cleaned up. I forgot a few lines.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:38 No.3345725
    >>3345707
    we don't need 5k with our new hydra heart... transportation will prove a problem unless we recover though...
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:39 No.3345733
    >>3345725
    the hydra heart is part of the revival process, there's still a cost for the actuall service. So selling the heart is out...maybe we sell the body
    >> Noggle !l/UpXGV2uE 01/08/09(Thu)04:40 No.3345739
    >>3345725
    Zombie? DORF? Recover?

    Train of thought escapes me, my good sir.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:41 No.3345742
    >>3345733
    it was 5k OR the hydra heart. pay attention dude :P
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:41 No.3345745
    >>3345733
    Hydra teeth, hide, skin, bones, and eyes. I imagine the mages in the town will adore you.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:42 No.3345748
    >>3345647
    This gets my vote
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:42 No.3345750
    >>3345742
    ah just reread. thought it was both
    >> Badger 01/08/09(Thu)04:45 No.3345764
    The hydra has no beard.

    Therefore it is worthless. get the heart and get going, silly beardless monster.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:45 No.3345766
    >>3345733
    Chopping off extra bits o' hydra for cash? awesome

    go one step further, pull a Monster Hunter. I smell Hydra Scale Armor in the future
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:47 No.3345776
    Replace lost arm with Hydra bones + AXE TIED TO HYDRA BONE
    >> GURPSfag 01/08/09(Thu)04:47 No.3345778
    >>3345722
    Saved twice. Continue headbutting hydra until it goes to the ground. Then take off helmet and beat hydra to death.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:50 No.3345789
    voting for hydra hide armor and upgrading/decorating all equipment with hydra teeth and bone

    also, upgrading helmet with hydra skull
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)04:50 No.3345792
         File :1231408249.png-(31 KB, 600x400, dorf 40.png)
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    You dizzily topple off of the defeated Hydra. A sizable dent marks the middle of its skull.

    Damage report.

    You are missing your LEFT ARM.
    You have SEVERE DAMAGE to your TORSO.
    You have MINOR DAMAGE to your BEARD.
    You are MOMENTARILY DIZZY.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:51 No.3345800
    >>3345792
    i dont like those fucking lights....

    get arm, axe, heart, teeth, scales and GTFO
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:51 No.3345801
    Take some hydra bones to get made into a shield and axe. Damn things bones are almost as tough as dwarf bones, breaking our Doorshield like that.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:52 No.3345805
    >>3345789
    this, and dont forget the heart... and yell at that elf faggotry again.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:52 No.3345807
    heal scroll
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:53 No.3345809
    >>3345792
    Fuckin' lights.
    >> GURPSfag 01/08/09(Thu)04:53 No.3345811
    >>3345792

    Use the rope's fibers to staunch the wounds in your chest and arm. Mourn damage to beard.
    >> Badger 01/08/09(Thu)04:53 No.3345812
    >You have MINOR DAMAGE to your BEARD.

    Oh Shi- Use cure wounds on BEARD
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:53 No.3345813
    Oh god this is going to be just like The Old Man and the Sea, those damn elfinlights are going to consume our shark before we can get back to shore!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:55 No.3345821
    Dudes, we're a Zombie. Using a Potion of Healing would only damage us further.

    We're in a swamp. Let's go find a fetid pool to drink out of and get poisoned - that should heal us.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:55 No.3345822
    >>3345812
    >>3345801
    These
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:55 No.3345823
    dont worry about wounds, we're a zombie on the way to a priest! we'll get patched up latter

    get loot and ge tout before those fucking lights do something
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:55 No.3345824
    If we can move (we are a zombie, if we're still intact, we should be able to function more or less alright), we begin salvaging the hydra's corpse. First for the heart, then any other bits that could be useful, like scales for armor, teeth, a skull, etc.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:56 No.3345826
    >>3345792
    Scroll of Cure Major Wounds on Beard.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:56 No.3345828
    >>3345821
    Our beard is not undead though, it is a fine (or was, perhaps) specimen of DORF FUCKING BEARDAGE
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:57 No.3345830
    >>3345824
    Use a skull to hold other bits!

    >>3345822
    NO. BAD. We are undead. Curing our wounds will probably KILL us.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:58 No.3345833
    those lights, oh god, the lights

    i'm so paranoid about them right now
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:58 No.3345835
    FASHION HYDRA SKULL INTO AWESOME HELMET

    FASION HYDRA SKULL 2 INTO AWESOME SHEILD

    FASION HYDRA SKULL 3 INTO AWESOME ARMOR
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:58 No.3345837
    >>3345830
    Cure spells harm undead. Harm spells cure them. It's not about causing or healing wounds, it's about evil/good energy.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)04:59 No.3345840
    >>3345835
    OH YEAH, FUCK THE SCALES

    THIS
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)05:00 No.3345848
         File :1231408835.png-(25 KB, 600x400, dorf 41.png)
    25 KB
    Recovering momentarily, you hack into the beast.

    You retrieve:
    HYDRA HEART.

    Using the rope as a makeshift case, you can carry any two of the following:
    HYDRA HIDE [armor]
    HYDRA BONE [shield]
    HYDRA TOOTH [sword]
    HYDRA EYE [sell for magic component]
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:00 No.3345850
    You should save at least one skull for AWESOME CODPIECE
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:00 No.3345851
    we can't craft the armor though. we did bad in Craftsdorfs remember? bring it to a smith. pay him in the parts he doesnt need
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)05:01 No.3345853
    >>3345848
    Adding: SKULL [Helmet]
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:01 No.3345854
    >>3345835
    > FASHION HYDRA SKULL 1 INTO TOY BOAT
    > FASHION HYDRA SKULL 2 INTO FLOODGATE
    > FASHION HYDRA SKULL 3 INTO LEFT HIGH-BOOT
    Fixed for realism.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:02 No.3345856
    >>3345848
    Can we use a Skull to increase the load?
    And if we immediately put on Hydra Armor, does it still take up a slot?
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:02 No.3345857
    >>3345848
    ARMOR

    MAGICAL COMPONENT: WE NEED OUR ARM BACK ON BEFORE THE OTHERS ARE USEFUL.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:02 No.3345859
    >>3345848
    hide and bone, swords are for elfs

    also be sure to bring our arm
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:02 No.3345860
    Retrieve Hide and Tooth. We are still in mourning over the loss of our previous shield and cannot bear to think of replacing it so soon. Good armor and a good weapon will be helpful though.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:02 No.3345862
    >>3345837
    Uh, duh. That's what I was saying, faggot.

    We, The Dorf, are fairly badly wounded. And undead. ERGO: Using the scroll of cure wounds IS A BAD IDEA.

    We're level 2 for Dorf's sake.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:02 No.3345863
    >>3345848
    Swords are not dorfy

    i say eye

    we can always buy a better shield weapon or armor but a magic component is rare
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:02 No.3345864
    >>3345853
    >>3345857
    ARMOR AND HELMET, THEN
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:03 No.3345865
    >>3345835
    This will result in more hydra heads trying to eat us

    take HEART now, reattach ARM with ROPE, retrieve AXE
    >> GURPSfag 01/08/09(Thu)05:03 No.3345866
    We should take the hide and the eye. Fuck the shield, we only have one hand now anyway.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:03 No.3345867
    Couldn't we just wear the armor?
    If no, only two:
    Armor and Shield
    If armor is worn and gives another slot, Eye
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:03 No.3345868
    Hide/tooth. Armor and a sword for Dual wielding dwarf epicness.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:03 No.3345869
    >>3345848
    >>3345853
    ARMOR AND HELM! We can kill stuff for money later, and we can retrieve the Axe.
    Besides, we can always find a new stone door later.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:03 No.3345870
    Couldn't we fashion the tooth into an axe instead? Or a combat pick, that'd be pretty Dorfy and have some utility to boot.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:04 No.3345874
    >>3345862
    Lv 3,
    2 Ftr 1 Thf
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:05 No.3345875
    Take BONE and EYE. Use cure scroll on our damaged beard. A Dorf's beard continues to grow after death so while we may be a zombie, our beard is not.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:05 No.3345876
    eye, hide

    swords are for faggy elves and we can just pick up our dorfy ax. also Door shield is way more epic then anything else. we can't replace it
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:06 No.3345881
    Tooth -> Combat pick (more Dorfy than sword, should be doable), for dual wielding with axe when we get both arms back in working order.

    Take hide for Armor, good armor is always important.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:06 No.3345882
    >>3345874
    Ah, I misremembered. Still, Thief levels don't add that much in the way of HP.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:06 No.3345884
    NO! NO BONE

    FUCK SWORDS, DORFS USE AXES
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:08 No.3345887
    poor gnome, people are gonna call railroading no matter what he draws now.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:08 No.3345888
    >>3345876
    i second this
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:09 No.3345893
    That's pretty poor equipment. The first rule of adventuring is to never leave home without rope, caltrops and fire making gear.
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)05:10 No.3345898
         File :1231409424.png-(41 KB, 600x400, dorf 42.png)
    41 KB
    Well, the tooth could have been any sort of bladed weapon. I was not thinking.

    Anyway, HIDE and SKULL seem to be the choices.

    The reason you simply can't put on the armor is because you can't MAKE the armor. You can take the materials to a smith to make them, however.

    Those lights are getting awfully close...
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:12 No.3345907
    Thank the will o'wisps for guiding us to our goal, then GTFO of the swamp, and back to the Mountainhome.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:12 No.3345911
    im glad we got hide. we didnt have any armor to begin with so this is an improvement. we already have a helm though...oh well

    RUN THE FUCK AWAY FROM LIGHTS, FIND ARM AND AXE AND RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:13 No.3345916
    >>3345898
    Lets gtfoutta here
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:13 No.3345921
    We MUST retrieve our axe and arm!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:14 No.3345923
    Curse them out like a real dorf... or pick up your arm (still holding the axe) and swing it at them.
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:14 No.3345924
    >>3345921
    yes, get these then RUN!
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:14 No.3345927
    auto sage soon
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:15 No.3345931
    tell the lights to fuck off and head back
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:16 No.3345932
    >>3345911
    Hit the helm a whole fucking lot with a hammer until it spreads out a bit, make some holes on the edges, and add a strap, new shield.
    >> Noggle !l/UpXGV2uE 01/08/09(Thu)05:16 No.3345935
    Lets make like a tree and get the fuck out of here.
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)05:17 No.3345938
    New thread: >>3345934
    >> Anonymous 01/08/09(Thu)05:17 No.3345941
    >>3345898
    Give those faggy elf-torches the slip and trudge home.

    DO NOT FORGET OUR ARM WE MIGHT NEED THAT.
    >> dorf 01/08/09(Thu)05:23 No.3345960
    >>3345935

    MAKING LIKE A TREE IS FOR FAGGOT ELFS
    >> gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/08/09(Thu)06:59 No.3346493
         File :1231415982.png-(22 KB, 600x400, dorf 8.png)
    22 KB
    For you in the archives, here's part 4:

    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/3345934/


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