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  • File :1230959365.png-(29 KB, 600x400, dorf1.png)
    29 KB Point and Click Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)00:09 No.3301577  
    [This is a game akin to RubyQuest. However, it will be very very short - this is practice for later, as I am going to be doing one of these when Weaver finishes RubyQuest.]

    You are a DORF. Armed with your IRON AXE, you are ready to take on the denizens of the dungeon. Descending from the EAST, you are now in this room. There is an open door to the WEST.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:10 No.3301586
    >>3301577

    Go through the door
    >> Reka 01/03/09(Sat)00:10 No.3301590
    LOOT EVERYTHING
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:10 No.3301592
    Check the Trash Can.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:11 No.3301595
    eat your axe
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:11 No.3301597
    pull the lever
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:11 No.3301598
    HEY EVERYBODY I WANT ATTENTION AND HAVE PAINT TOO
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:12 No.3301601
    >>3301597
    Nothing good happens when dwarves pull levers.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:12 No.3301606
    GO TOWARDS THE BEER ROOM!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:13 No.3301615
    >>3301601

    Are you sure, I thought every time a dorf pulls a lever something awesome happens.
    >> JTP 01/03/09(Sat)00:14 No.3301622
    I figured one of these would show up sooner or later.

    Look Behind That Tapestry. Cut it Down if you have to.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:15 No.3301628
    Tapestry, cut it down.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)00:15 No.3301629
         File :1230959731.png-(22 KB, 600x400, dorf2.png)
    22 KB
    >>3301590
    You pull out your ax and do what must be done. You pull out your ax and let your loose your fury!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:15 No.3301631
    >>3301577
    chop cock off with axe
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:16 No.3301640
    Screw it.
    Exit dungeon.
    Go home.
    Get drunk.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)00:17 No.3301642
         File :1230959831.png-(37 KB, 600x400, dorf 3.png)
    37 KB
    >>3301629
    The room is defiled before you! You stand victorious.

    Inside the barrel, you find 13 GOLD COINS and lots of wooden splinters.

    Behind the TORN TARP, you see something dark.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:17 No.3301644
    >>3301629
    AXE AXE AXE AXE AXE AXE. CAN FIRST TAPESTRY SECOND THROW CAN IN FIT OF RAGE AT LEVER
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:17 No.3301649
    >>3301629

    So I pull it out twice right? I have two axes?
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:18 No.3301655
    >>3301642

    Examine the dark thing.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:18 No.3301660
    >>3301642


    Your job is done here, go out the exit towards the nearest tavern.
    >> Pi-Face 01/03/09(Sat)00:19 No.3301667
    >>3301642
    CAST MAGIC MISSILE INTO IT
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)00:19 No.3301669
    >>3301649
    Yes, double ax. You are a little drunk.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:20 No.3301678
    >>3301642
    EXAMINE and hope its not CARP
    >> Blank !!vqw88ooNTj5 01/03/09(Sat)00:20 No.3301679
    if it can be broken with an axe, break it. if it can be killed with an axe, kill it.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:20 No.3301680
    >>3301642
    now eat your axe
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:20 No.3301683
    Pull the lever.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)00:23 No.3301706
         File :1230960188.png-(37 KB, 600x400, dorf 4.png)
    37 KB
    >>3301667
    you pull out your wand and cast Magic Missile into the darkness.

    You hear a loud ringing sound echo from within.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:23 No.3301714
    >>3301642
    RELEASE THE LAVA WITH THE LEVER INTO THE DARK TUUUUUBBEEEESSSSS.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:24 No.3301720
    >>3301706

    pull lever
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:24 No.3301722
    >>3301706

    Dorfs do not use magic, ever, that is elven trickery, you must not be drunk enough, go through the exit and towards the nearest tavern for a drunken bar fight over what rock looks the best immediately.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:25 No.3301724
    >>3301706
    Use Lever!!!!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:25 No.3301727
    >>3301706
    Attack the ringing sound with your axe!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:25 No.3301729
    >>3301722
    dwarfs can use magic, its just that most prefer a hackin and a smackin because they are awesome like that
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)00:27 No.3301738
         File :1230960434.png-(34 KB, 600x400, dorf 5.png)
    34 KB
    >>3301683
    >PULL THE LEVER!!!!

    Giving in to your innate dorfen curiosity, you PULL THAT FUCKING LEVER.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:27 No.3301741
    >>3301729

    After all, why use magic when you're practically a HUEG MUSCLE?
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:27 No.3301743
    >>3301729

    Quiet you elven fiend, before I cut off your ears!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:29 No.3301757
    >>3301738

    Use AXE on BEARD. Reveal you're not a DORF, but are, in fact, a GNOME.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:30 No.3301773
    enter tapestry hole
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:30 No.3301774
    TL;DR: I SUCK AT PAINT AND STORYTELLING AND PACING.

    FEAST ON YOUR OWN BILE.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)00:31 No.3301789
         File :1230960697.png-(38 KB, 600x400, dorf 6.png)
    38 KB
    [Note to self: LOAD PICTURE]
    A HATCH appears in the ceiling! A ROPE LADDER descends!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:31 No.3301790
    You need to get photoshop and draw out each room individually, then once that is done you can draw the other characters as new layers.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:32 No.3301797
    >>3301789

    Go west.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:32 No.3301799
    >>3301789

    climb rope ladder
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:33 No.3301802
    >>3301789
    Climb ladder but keep Dorfen axe handy!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:33 No.3301804
    >>3301789
    Pull lever again!!!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:33 No.3301806
    Yes, go west, you forgot your shield, and IS THAT A ONE SIDED AXE!? For shame.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:42 No.3301903
    >>3301789
    NEW TRICKS ASSAULT US! DO NOT LET THE GOBLIN TRICKSTER BEND US TO THEIR WILES! SLAUGHTER THE ROPE! PAINT THE ROOM WITH ITS FIBERS!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)00:43 No.3301909
         File :1230961423.png-(27 KB, 600x400, dorf 7.png)
    27 KB
    >>3301790
    I am doing that, I just make mistakes. A lot.

    This is a learning experience.

    >>3301799
    You ascend the ladder! And find yourself here.

    On the West wall is a very bad painting of a silhouette. Its lack of color variance and general shoddiness reveal it is likely worthless.

    On the far end is a bust of a woman's chest, without arms or head. It seems to be wearing a Necklace.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:44 No.3301915
    >>3301902

    RAPE! LOOT! PILLAGE!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:44 No.3301920
    >>3301909

    FEEL UP THE BUST!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:44 No.3301923
    >>3301909
    IGNORE PAINTING TAKE BUST DISCARD NECKLACE WE KNOW WHERE THE TRUE VALUE LIES.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:44 No.3301929
    >>3301909

    RAPE! LOOT! PILLAGE!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:45 No.3301932
    >>3301909
    Take bust, throw away necklace and use the bust as a secondary weapon.
    >> JTP 01/03/09(Sat)00:48 No.3301967
    Check for traps. throw your helmet at the Bust.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)00:49 No.3301991
         File :1230961799.png-(22 KB, 600x400, dorf 8.png)
    22 KB
    >>3301923
    >>3301920

    Oh, delicious stone bust... the smooth stone feels good underneath your fingers, and the form, the sculpture... It is a stoneworker's dream.

    The necklace, however, seems to be inset into the bust itself. This bust is as large as you are, but oh so perfect.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)00:50 No.3301995
    >>3301991
    AXE to the BUST
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:02 No.3302088
    >>3301991
    PUSH it over and RAPE it
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)01:02 No.3302096
         File :1230962555.png-(23 KB, 600x400, dorf9.png)
    23 KB
    >>3301995
    Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. With a well placed blow of your ax, you knock down the bust. It shatters on the floor.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:07 No.3302128
    >>3302096
    Retrieve NECKLACE from BUST, use more AXING if necessary.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:07 No.3302134
    this is awesome
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:08 No.3302135
    >>3302096

    observe painting
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:08 No.3302136
    Eat bust rock!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)01:11 No.3302160
         File :1230963062.png-(19 KB, 600x400, dorf 10.png)
    19 KB
    >>3302128
    You got the NECKLACE!

    ...Huh. You seem to have some sort of limited telekinesis. AWESOME.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:12 No.3302173
    >>3302160
    Practice kinesis on AXE
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:12 No.3302178
    >>3302160

    exit room, go west
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)01:13 No.3302189
         File :1230963225.png-(17 KB, 600x400, dorf 11.png)
    17 KB
    >>3302135
    This painting is terrible.

    Must have been made by an elf.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:16 No.3302216
    Use your newfound telekinetic ability to throw the painting across the room!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)01:19 No.3302236
         File :1230963566.png-(20 KB, 600x400, dorf 12.png)
    20 KB
    >>3302216

    Your telekinesis doesn't seem to work that way. The painting floats a few inches away from your hand.

    This power sucks.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:19 No.3302237
    >>3302189
    PUNCH THROUGH THE PAINTING!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:20 No.3302246
    >>3302189

    Take down painting with teeth, lest the elvishness of it all taint your DWARF HANDS.

    After all, you may never be able to craft stone the same way again if it gets on you.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:21 No.3302252
    Masturbate sadly in the corner.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:21 No.3302256
    Disassemble painting.
    Construct +Canvas Floodgate+
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:22 No.3302265
    Use the axe to dig your way to the dragon!

    Or just slash the picture up a little.
    >> CaptainJoystick !hxpuy9nnos 01/03/09(Sat)01:25 No.3302295
    Remove the picture carefuly.

    With your boot.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)01:28 No.3302314
         File :1230964109.png-(36 KB, 600x400, dorf 13.png)
    36 KB
    >>3302178
    You have had enough of this boring room and your sucky telekinesis.

    You descend the ladder, and hold your ax before you with your shiny telekinesis. Lets see whats to the west.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)01:35 No.3302359
         File :1230964516.png-(26 KB, 600x400, dorf 14.png)
    26 KB
    You find a DISGRUNTLED CYCLOPS! He seems upset with something.

    The room is bare, and its rough walls are an affront to your fine dorfen sensibilities. Oh, how you long for the smooth stone bust...

    ...but the past is the past, and this is no time for reminiscing on such happy times! There is a cyclops around!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:35 No.3302365
    >>3302359
    Talk to the cyclops.

    Make sure he's not an elf in disguise.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:36 No.3302368
    >>3302359
    Give him your HELMET in exchange for his SLAVERY/MOUNT
    >> CaptainJoystick !hxpuy9nnos 01/03/09(Sat)01:37 No.3302381
    Ask him what's wrong but be ready to make your escape eastward.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:38 No.3302385
    Strangle the cyclops to death.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:39 No.3302386
    sneak up while he is disgruntled and poke out his eye. Tell him your name is Nobody
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:41 No.3302397
    >>3302359
    He must be too tall to enter his room! MAKE HIM A HEAD SHORTER!
    >> Blank !!vqw88ooNTj5 01/03/09(Sat)01:41 No.3302398
    >>3302386
    seconded
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)01:41 No.3302399
         File :1230964916.png-(26 KB, 600x400, dorf 15.png)
    26 KB
    >>3302365
    >Make sure he's not an elf in disguise.

    Everyone knows elves have pencil dicks, so you go straight to the source to determine his lineage.

    ...He is VERY well endowed. Definitely a cyclops. Definitely an angry cyclops.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:42 No.3302402
    >>3302359

    SNEAK ATTACK
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:44 No.3302411
    >>3302399
    AXE to cyclopean BALLS!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:44 No.3302412
    Use your telekinesis to halt the inevitable attack by cyclops.
    Then hack into his genitals.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:44 No.3302419
    >>3302399
    TELEKINESIS TO RIP HIS BALLS OFF.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:45 No.3302421
    >>3302397
    This.
    >> CaptainJoystick !hxpuy9nnos 01/03/09(Sat)01:45 No.3302424
    You've gone too far already to stop now.

    User your expert dwarven felatio technique to placate the cyclopse.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:45 No.3302429
    >>3302399

    push balls with Telekinesis.

    BACK INTO HIS GUTTTT
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:47 No.3302435
    stick it in his pooper, but make sure not to forget the reach around
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)01:51 No.3302461
         File :1230965499.png-(15 KB, 600x400, dorf 16.png)
    15 KB
    >>3302411
    >>3302412
    >He doesn't deserve his manhood!

    You quickly retrieve your ax with your telekinesis power!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)01:52 No.3302465
         File :1230965537.png-(17 KB, 600x400, dorf 17.png)
    17 KB
    >>3302461
    The cyclops swings across with its heavy club! That thing looks painful, but you can take it! You're a DORF!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:53 No.3302476
    >>3302461
    >>3302465

    You are now thinking of the Pokemon battle theme.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)01:53 No.3302477
         File :1230965587.png-(21 KB, 600x400, dorf 18.png)
    21 KB
    >>3302465
    The two of you swing at each other, and strike a dramatic pose after the blow!

    A momentary cliffhanger will see this battle completed!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:53 No.3302478
    >>3302465
    Oh hell no I can't! Barrel roll!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:55 No.3302491
    Flee to sergal lands

    learn their language

    rally them to battle

    kill cyclops
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)01:58 No.3302514
         File :1230965915.png-(20 KB, 600x400, dorf 19.png)
    20 KB
    >>3302477
    VICTORY!

    You gain 500 XP!

    You have reached LEVEL 3!

    You are currently a LVL 2 FIGHTER. Which class will you take:

    >Fighter
    >Thief
    >Mage
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:59 No.3302518
    >>3302514
    FIGHTER ALL THE WAY
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:59 No.3302519
    Enter Matial Trance.
    Slay EVERYTHING!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)01:59 No.3302528
    >>3302514

    DWARF MAGE/FIGHTER!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:00 No.3302536
    >>3302514
    THEIF!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:00 No.3302538
    >>3302514
    thief

    because your just the right height to get into pockets easily and unseen. Also who would ever suspect a burly dorf of pickpocketing?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)02:02 No.3302555
    >>3302538
    >thief, because your just the right height to get into pockets easily and unseen. Also who would ever suspect a burly dorf of pickpocketing?

    You certainly wouldn't see it coming! You are now FIGHTER 2/THIEF 1!

    You have gained TRAPSENSE.

    You have gained SNEAK ATTACK.

    You have gained SUBTLE TELEKINESIS. It no longer glows!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:03 No.3302559
    Mage. maybe we can make this telekenesis thing not suck.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:03 No.3302562
    Thiefing is for fruity little fuckers that dance around and stab you in the back like an ELF.
    Magery is for hoity fuckers who play around with textiles and think they're better than you like an ELF.

    WE ARE MANLY DORFS. WE KILL THINGS WITH OUR AXE. FIGHTER ALL THE WAY.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:03 No.3302563
    Why does this still exist?
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:04 No.3302566
    >>3302563
    Because no one has made another "4rry shit sucks lawl!" or cultist chan /r/ thread.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:04 No.3302568
    >>3302538
    AND YOU CAN NINJA IT UP. WHAT'S THAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOUR GURGLING DEATH MOAN OVER THE SOUND OF MY AXE IN YOUR BACK.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:05 No.3302571
    >>3302563
    Because it is awesome.

    Faggot.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:06 No.3302583
    >>3302555
    Now go check what was behind the tapestry in the first room.

    Perhaps there will be something else to Axe.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)02:06 No.3302586
         File :1230966385.png-(25 KB, 600x400, dorf 20.png)
    25 KB
    Now what?
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:07 No.3302590
    >>3302586
    TAKE THE CLUB AND ONWARD!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:07 No.3302593
    >>3302586

    kill the unclean non straight walls.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:08 No.3302600
    >>3302586
    SEE >>3302583
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:08 No.3302601
    kill everything!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:09 No.3302608
    >>3302563
    One person does not a thread kill, my dear anon.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:11 No.3302622
    >>3302586
    Go West young Dorf.

    and beware the Carp.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:11 No.3302624
    >>3302571
    No. Ruby is a carefully executed mindfuck with engaging characters. This is "The Retarded Adventurers of /b/ the Dorf".
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)02:12 No.3302630
         File :1230966774.png-(29 KB, 600x400, dorf 21.png)
    29 KB
    >>3302600
    >>3302583
    First you pull down the DRAGON TAPESTRY. The accursed height leaves shreds of it beyond your reach. You swear at it in Dorfen for a moment.

    The room beyond is quite dark. Why, if you were a human, you'd need some sort of light to see in there. But you're a manly dorf, light is for pussies. ONWARD!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:13 No.3302633
    >>3302624

    Shh. We're playing.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:13 No.3302637
    >>3302624
    the OP said this was akin to Ruby, as in the nature of the game, but never said it was Ruby, instead it is The Retarded Adventures of B the Dorf. The OP said it will be short so if it sucks, it wont suck for long. for now, it rocks.

    I vote B stands for Binwin.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:14 No.3302643
    >>3302637
    No, it has to be Beard-something

    BeardBeard. the Dorf.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:15 No.3302651
    >>3302630

    INTO THE DARK!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)02:15 No.3302652
    >>3302624
    Yes it is. I completely agree - this is just LULRANDOM and MANLY DORF crap. If you read the first post, this is just a crapshoot to see if I can keep up. None of this is preplanned, I am making it up as I go. The one I will eventually do later will be much more serious, and have a real plot and plenty of pre-planning.

    Since I apparently can keep up, I would have ended this thread if no one was enjoying it. But, since many want to see this dorf break more things, I will press onward.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:15 No.3302653
    >>3302630
    Travel down tapestry hall.
    >> Devil !GQUOsC9mgk 01/03/09(Sat)02:16 No.3302660
    >>3302652
    It's still good though.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:21 No.3302706
    >>3302630
    It is dark, you are likely to be eaten by a grue.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:22 No.3302719
    >>3302706
    this
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:23 No.3302727
    >>3302706
    FIGHT THE GRUE IN THE DARK!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)02:26 No.3302752
         File :1230967592.png-(28 KB, 600x400, dorf 22.png)
    28 KB
    >>3302651
    >Into the dark!

    You blindly step into the darkness!

    A moment later, you turn on your darkvision, and the room comes into view. A very high dome, it is completely dark in here.

    There is a well in the middle of the room. It looks like someone tried their hardest to make it round, and failed pretty badly. The well has water coming up to just below the brim.

    On the North wall is a SIGN.

    Some sort of chandelier hangs from the high ceiling.
    >> Halfling 01/03/09(Sat)02:26 No.3302756
         File :1230967608.jpg-(28 KB, 600x400, Dorf1.jpg)
    28 KB
    Its dark in here.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:31 No.3302794
    >>3302752
    Read sign, axe chandelier.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:32 No.3302801
    >>3302752
    We never learned to read. CHOPPA the sign and use it to light a fire using your alcohol-laden urine as fuel and the friction of your burly, callous arms rubbing together to create sparks.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:33 No.3302802
    I hope it doesn't say beware of grues
    >> Halfling 01/03/09(Sat)02:33 No.3302804
         File :1230968004.jpg-(61 KB, 600x400, Dorf2.jpg)
    61 KB
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:35 No.3302817
    >>3302804
    GOOD DORF. NOW:
    >>3302801
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:35 No.3302822
    >>3302794
    Alternately: Read axe, sign chandelier
    >> Arcbound 01/03/09(Sat)02:37 No.3302839
    >>3302752
    THROW AXE at the accursed CHANDELIER for being high up!
    >> Devil !GQUOsC9mgk 01/03/09(Sat)02:37 No.3302840
    >>3302804
    Attack sign for XP?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)02:38 No.3302850
         File :1230968289.png-(13 KB, 600x400, dorf 23.png)
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    >>3302794
    >Read sign, axe chandelier.

    The sign reads "You can use TRAPSENSE to find Secret Doors!"

    On the bottom, some words are scribbled in, likely by a stupid human. "I can't read this, I have no light..."

    Strange, you don't remember how to read. Musta been that level of THIEF.

    Unfortunately, you are too short to reach the Chandelier with your ax.
    >> Arcbound 01/03/09(Sat)02:39 No.3302862
    >>3302850
    THROW AXE AT CHANDELIER.

    Then use TRAPSENSE.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:40 No.3302869
    >>3302850
    Combine AXE with TELEKINESIS to AXE THAT BASTARD CHANDELIER
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:41 No.3302882
    >>3302839
    but what if Axe gets Stuck? we must have an axe! is there anything else we can throw?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)02:42 No.3302889
         File :1230968550.png-(15 KB, 600x400, dorf 24.png)
    15 KB
    >>3302862
    That chandelier has breathed its last!

    You toss your IRON AX in its general direction!
    >> Halfling 01/03/09(Sat)02:43 No.3302899
         File :1230968600.jpg-(63 KB, 600x400, Dorf3.jpg)
    63 KB
    alright ill stop now.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)02:45 No.3302919
         File :1230968716.png-(16 KB, 600x400, dorf 25.png)
    16 KB
    >>3302889
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)02:48 No.3302941
         File :1230968889.png-(14 KB, 600x400, dorf 26.png)
    14 KB
    >>3302919
    The EVERCHANGING CHANDELIER and the IRON AX fall into the NOT QUITE ROUND WELL!
    >> Arcbound 01/03/09(Sat)02:49 No.3302953
    >>3302941
    Retrieve Axe from Well using TELEKINESIS.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)02:52 No.3302980
         File :1230969147.png-(26 KB, 600x400, dorf 27.png)
    26 KB
    >>3302941
    The IRON AX sinks!

    The EVERCHANGING CHANDELIER, however, does not. It floats atop the well, making trying to swim down and get your ax a very difficult thing to come back from alive. Even your manly Dorfen brain thinks swimming under that would be a bad idea.

    You curse many times.
    >> Arcbound 01/03/09(Sat)02:59 No.3303017
    >>3302980
    ...

    Reload last save.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)02:59 No.3303018
         File :1230969555.png-(28 KB, 600x400, dorf 28.png)
    28 KB
    >>3302980
    Your TELEKINESIS isn't strong enough! Maybe you should have taken a level of MAGE.

    >>3302862
    You activate your TRAP SENSE!

    ...but this room doesn't seem to have any traps or secret doors. While searching, you come to the conclusion that if Tom Cruise had a beard, he would have failed Mission Impossible.

    What a sorry world we live in.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)02:59 No.3303023
    >>3302980

    A DWARF'S AXE IS HIS LIFE.

    JUMP INTO THE WELL TO GET YOUR AXE BACK.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)03:00 No.3303034
    >>3303018
    Make new axe from nearby materials
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)03:02 No.3303044
    pull Everchanging Chandelier out of the well.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)03:03 No.3303054
    >>3303018
    retrieve cyclops club
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)03:03 No.3303056
         File :1230969812.png-(16 KB, 600x400, dorf 29.png)
    16 KB
    >>3303023
    >A DWARF'S AXE IS HIS LIFE.

    >JUMP INTO THE WELL TO GET YOUR AXE BACK.

    You conclude that you need to man up, and strip down. Tossing your helmet aside, you dive into the murky waters!
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)03:07 No.3303075
         File :1230970041.png-(18 KB, 600x400, dorf 30.png)
    18 KB
    >>3303056
    Your ax, there it is! Oh, how it calls for you!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)03:09 No.3303089
    >>3303075
    PICK UP YOUR AXE

    A DWARF HAS NO NEED TO THINK THINGS THROUGH. SEE AXE, GET AXE. LOOKING AROUND IS FOR ELFFOLK
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)03:09 No.3303091
    >>3303075
    ITS A CARP!!!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)03:10 No.3303096
    >>3303075

    oh jesus christ

    CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)03:12 No.3303107
    >>3303075
    get AXE

    use AXE on CARP
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)03:13 No.3303110
    Grab Axe, SWIM UP QUICKLY
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)03:15 No.3303128
         File :1230970531.png-(22 KB, 600x400, dorf 31.png)
    22 KB
    >>3303089
    >PICK UP YOUR AXE A DWARF HAS NO NEED TO THINK THINGS THROUGH

    Oh your ax! So happy!
    >> Danish Peppers 01/03/09(Sat)03:15 No.3303132
    unless dwarves have a hivemind, a dwarf's memory isn't that good.
    get AXE
    Kill CARP
    Eat CARP raw b/c cooking is for elffolk
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)03:18 No.3303147
    >>3303128
    HUG AXE TIGHTER.

    IMAGINE WELL IS BEER.

    DRINK WELL.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)03:20 No.3303167
         File :1230970822.png-(22 KB, 600x400, dorf 32.png)
    22 KB
    >>3303128
    Oh, hello, Mr. Snake.
    >> Danish Peppers 01/03/09(Sat)03:23 No.3303188
    You made a friend!
    use him as a rope to get yourself up to the top of the well.
    or chop his head off.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)03:25 No.3303197
         File :1230971108.png-(26 KB, 600x400, dorf 33.png)
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    >>3303107
    >>3303132
    >>3303188
    >KILL IT

    You swing your mighty ax at the fell WATER SNAKE!

    ...It dodges nimbly.
    >> Danish Peppers 01/03/09(Sat)03:26 No.3303207
    trade heLmEt for slavery/freindship.
    Get out of the fuckiN' well, dAmn it!
    >> Danish Peppers 01/03/09(Sat)03:28 No.3303223
    on second thought, some glasses would be nice.You only managed to hit the cyclops because... well, he's a cyclops.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)03:30 No.3303235
         File :1230971433.png-(26 KB, 600x400, dorf 34.png)
    26 KB
    >>3303197
    The WATER SNAKE constricts around you!
    >> Danish Peppers 01/03/09(Sat)03:33 No.3303246
    shit. It's up to you, DORF.
    just don't die.
    >> Devil !GQUOsC9mgk 01/03/09(Sat)03:35 No.3303264
    >>3303235
    fuggin BITE IT WITH YOUR DORF TEETH
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)03:36 No.3303277
    >>3303235
    FLEX YOUR DWARF MUSCLES.

    RIP IT IN HALF.
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)03:37 No.3303285
         File :1230971864.png-(16 KB, 600x400, dorf 35.png)
    16 KB
    >>3303235
    The snake attacks you!
    The snake deals 13 damage!
    The snake constricts you!
    The snake deals 19 damage!
    You are dead.....
    Xom finds this hilarious!
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)03:38 No.3303287
    >>3303235
    AXE the snake while it's distracted trying to kill me/us/the dorf.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)03:38 No.3303290
         File :1230971922.png-(221 KB, 512x384, 1220740779512.png)
    221 KB
    >>3303285
    >> Devil !GQUOsC9mgk 01/03/09(Sat)03:40 No.3303303
    >>3303285
    I.. uh.. savescum the dorf back to life?

    Fucking Xom.
    XOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
    >> Arcbound 01/03/09(Sat)03:42 No.3303306
         File :1230972126.png-(272 KB, 1016x756, DC FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.png)
    272 KB
    >>3303285
    XOM FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
    >> Danish Peppers 01/03/09(Sat)03:45 No.3303319
    HAHAHA I USE PHEONIX DOW-
    oh wait.
    revive?
    life?
    something?
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)03:47 No.3303329
    >>3303285
    Aww, man. I was too slow.

    You just wanted to stop, didn't you?
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)03:48 No.3303331
         File :1230972521.png-(15 KB, 600x400, last room.png)
    15 KB
    Sorry to disappoint, all, but that's it. I told you it would be short.

    Here, have the room to the West. It was the last room left - I didn't finish drawing it. There was going to be BOSS BATTLE VERSUS DRAGON TURTLE ON A BRIDGE OVER LAVA here.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)03:50 No.3303336
    Does this count as a Traditional Game, I wonder? Technically we're interfacing through an input/output device, but we are upholding the longstanding tradition of our species to tell a good story.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)03:51 No.3303348
    >>3303331

    >Boss Battle versus Dragon Turtle on a bridge, over lava.
    >Dragon Turtle.., over lava.
    >Dragon Turtle

    BOWSER RIPOFF!
    >> Noggle !l/UpXGV2uE 01/03/09(Sat)03:52 No.3303352
    >>3303336
    Its as traditional as any pen and papers, its just with a different look.
    >> Noggle !l/UpXGV2uE 01/03/09(Sat)03:53 No.3303355
    >>3303348
    slowpoke.jpg
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)03:54 No.3303364
    >>3303319
    Load quicksave
    >> Local Exaltedfag 01/03/09(Sat)04:06 No.3303433
    I for one enjoyed this and would like to see more interactive storytelling on /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)04:10 No.3303454
         File :1230973853.png-(54 KB, 477x599, Awesome_crying.png)
    54 KB
    >>3303433
    =( Why did this have to end? Oh how I long for the smooth stone bust...
    >> Gnome !94Ud9yTfxQ 01/03/09(Sat)04:18 No.3303494
         File :1230974319.jpg-(77 KB, 920x434, gongs.jpg)
    77 KB
    >>3301706
    Oh, for those confused about the loud ringing sound...

    ...pic related. Magic missiles are popular.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)05:20 No.3303850
    Sung to the tune of Dean Martin's "Thats Amore":

    when you're diving at night, and your feet feel the bite,
    that's a moray
    when your hand's in the cave, suddenly you'll need saved,
    that's a moray
    when you blubber and scream, but you have a bad dream
    that's amore
    when he hits all your fingers, with teeth that are stingers,
    a moray...

    that's a moray that's a moray

    little fella

    when he bites on your thumb, takes a chunk of your bum,
    that's a moray
    when you reach in his cave, he's all bravo and brave
    he's a moray

    and it's not how it feels, and you know you have eels,
    that's a moray....
    scuzza me, but you see, let them be, or you'll see
    lotsa morays.......
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)05:23 No.3303866
         File :1230978188.gif-(186 KB, 500x375, clap clap.gif)
    186 KB
    >>3303850
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)06:09 No.3304046
    >>3303850
    Somebody post "That's a Maori" from Pizza.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)11:55 No.3305258
    bump for day crew's enjoyment.
    >> Anonymous 01/03/09(Sat)12:13 No.3305320
         File :1231002781.png-(70 KB, 250x334, necrodwarf.png)
    70 KB
    >>3305258
    One should not toy with necromancy, it may cause unexpected effects.


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