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11/20/08(Thu)05:08 No.3029636Alright. So she’s down to her undergarments, and you’ve already taken the view from the hill. Put your palm on her and slowly rub against her underwear. Trace around the outline of her and stray from up and down the picket to brush her thigh lightly of occasion. She’ll let you know what works, have no fear. Just remember, be gentle at this point. You’re a man of the Imperium, not a savage Ork. Well, maybe Grylph over there is, but still…
[Pause for laughter]
Once she’s nice and primed, liberate her of her undergarments and make her comfortable. You’ll know because she’ll have the texture of Lasgun oil. Now, get your second and third fingers together and move from her clitoris slowly to the bottom of her snatch. All eyes on screen up front. Good. Keep doing that, and occasionally circle her clitoris. Keep that fire going, boys. It shouldn’t take long until she’s purring like a Thylacene. Time to move. The fingers which you had ready go in easily. Just like any mission; do it slowly or you’ll miss the objective. Now, once they are in curve them slightly upwards towards her navel as you push, until you find a rippled and slightly springy spot. That, gentlemen, is paydirt. Once you have planted the flag, don’t stop rubbing that spot.
Now, after a small while she will start to contract. Here’s the important bit, so listen up. Do not change speed or motion for anything. Not if you have your own thoughts. Not if someone else said they know better. Not even if an Inquisitor orders you not to. Well, maybe the last one. But she may kill you anyway if you do extract at that point, so that one’s your call.
[Pause for laughter]
After a moment she’ll come with the force of a Thunderhawk. Your commanding officers guarantee it. [Thumbs up] |