Alright, I'm sitting on a tan microfibre couch wtih my feet on a wooden cofee table. I think I'm safe.

*wraps self in blankets and squirms around*

...What? It's a lava submarine..

FUCK. I guess if I could get the pillows off my bed without it exploding... and not touch the wall i'd be safe.

FUCK. I JUMPED ONTO MY PILLOW AS I WAS READING NORMAL MODE

I'm lying on the floor, propped up by pillows. My couch is blue and my bed has blue sheets. Goddamnit.

Ummm... the landmines blast me clear of the lava and I land on top of the pile of books on the far wall.

This isn't fair, the couch is blue and there is NOTHING else around.

>European Extreme: The walls are coated in neurotoxin.
Oh fuck you.


I'm sitting in an old wooden chair. and there's a pillow. It's okay though, I've got it covered in blankets. I should be safe as long as I don't m--- NO CAT! DON'T DO IT!

My cat just drown in lava ;-;

>>2954581

FUCKSHIT I HAD MY BACK ON A PILLOW WHEN I READ THIS TOPIC.

Do the land mines go off on contact or if you take pressure off them?

>>2954596
You're dead.

>>2954590
You're a faggot.

>>2954581
You're Edward.

>>2954596
I can't take a piss, because the pillow will go off. You're on your own. The rescue choppers are all gone.

>>2954601
>You're dead.
Oh fuck you, Anonymous is a cripple. At least let me reposition.

Okay, I set off the chair trap and have my feet on a box.

Well...my ass is stuck in a Bear Trap Now...uhm...Well, i'm on a plastic mat over the carpet, am i still alright?

I'm sitting in a navy blue chair with a pillow on it, with my feet against the wall.

well, i had a good run.

also:
Dante must die mode: clothes are bees.

>>2954614
wow...pressed shift in all the wrong places...

>>2954616
>Clothes are bees.

I am floating in the air via meditation, naked.

Dark Heresy Survival Mode - your Eyes are lava.

Heavenly guardian defense, I spend four motes and parry the lava.

>>2954559

I was fine until Hard, then I got caught and now I'm screwed by the lava scorching me to a crisp.

>>2954649

Also my dog exploded due to a landmine, so my left half of the body is destroyed. I probably have minutes to live.

rolled 9, 20, 2 = 31

What happens if im sitting on a chair with a cushion on it ....

>>2954616
Don't worry.. I'm naked in he-

>>2954625
Dammit.. too slow..

>>2954657
Kiss your ass goodbye.

clearly i would use normal mode to my advantage, by placing blue objects on the ground setting the lava, the sharks would die after the water has been evaporated.
after that, it would be easy the floor isnt lava anymore :)

Hmmm Bear Trap Chair?...


Well there goes my bad ankle... looks like I really will be needing a cane.

>>2954636

>Dark Heresy Survival Mode - your Eyes are lava.

I'm sorry, could you read that out loud? I didn't catch that.

>>2954718
Damnit, now I want a DH campaign based on that film.


My favourite horror flick Ever.

>>2954718

I fucking died laughing.

>>2954733
That movie WAS a dark heresy campaign.

>>2954733
I ran one the day after halloween.

It went pretty awesomely, even if it was GRIMDARKED TO ELEVEN. Never finished it, though, and far before people got to the Good Doctor insane-o part, since no PC ever wants to be anything other than a master of the martial arts fuck you GM I can't go insane herpidiederp.

I'm sitting in a blue chair.. OH SHI-

>>2954787
Shark infested waters also filled with bear traps?

>>2954561

Ohhhhhhhh shit. Shit shit shit. Are...are you me?

>>2954686
Water plus lava, steam explosion. You're parboiled instantly.

I'm sittings on two pillows on a chair, with my feet against the wall, writing on paper and using my mouse on my blue mousepad when I read this post.

I think I'm going to be playing easy mode.

My floor is blue : |

>>2954917
Mmmm. Steamed Human.

I am on a couch, can couches be lava pirate ships?

Welp, sitting in a chair. Guess I'll have to stick to Normal.

>>2954567

haha, lava submarine, epic

I was sitting in my chair when I started reading this, now I've leapt off and cradling on my computer desk.

Man, fuck you OP.

I'm sitting on a shark-infested pool with a beqar trap on my arse. Other than that, I'm fine. Feet resting on a biscuit barrel.

COMPUTERS ARE VAMPIRES

APOCALYPSE MODE

>>2955147
WHY THE FUCK IS MY COMPUTER DISSOLVING INTO FUCKING ASH!?

FUCK YOU VAMPIRE COMPUTER

Insane Mode: You are now lava

>>2955210
Super Insane Mode: Oxygen is Lava
Omega Insane Mode: You are aware you are breathing. Manually.

Ludicrous mode

You are now cubic

I'm standing on a sheet I have fashioned into a crude lava raft in a quest to reach the table. I only have minutes to live as the vampire computers have risen and are chasing me while recording my last moments, I have attempted to throw my bee clothes at them and I lost my arm in an attempt to grasp a cushion OH NO HERE COME THE DOGS! TELL MY WIFE I LOV

wives are lava

>>2955252
Does girlfriends count? She just came home pissed and want to cuddle.
...
Im fucked ;_;

HELL OR HELL MODE:
THE TOILET PAPER IS NOW VAMPIRES.

GODDAMN IT MY BED IS BLUE

THERE IS NOWHERE TO RUN

>>2955333

You dont have a girlfriend. Enjoy your empty bed

WITH LAND MINE PILLOWS

I was just fine curled into a naked ball on my yellow blanket

Then my room mate came in, noticed the blue blanket I had thrown away (at the loss of my arms) and chucked it back on me.

Fuck.

>>2955333
Girlfriends are giant rocks

>>This thread has been requested 1 times now.

fix that

>>2954559

>The Floor is now lava.

Fuck the floor = hottest sex ever.

FUCK MY PANTS HAVE SHARKS ON THEM

Ok I will do hard mode. Starting once I get off my chair.

Is my blue pillow a shark infested landmine? Sharkmines?

If so I need to patent that.

FUCK. Was sitting in a chair while reading thread, failed at hard-mode.

>>2956127
How did you type that shit, then? Yo' dead, foo'.

Managed to get all the way to my kitchen to get a drink on Euro Extreme, then realised my fridge is blue. Fuck.

damnit I was soft on my bed but my mouse in on a pillow!!!!!

Ok ok... i'm fine, i have a tan blanket on a tan couch and and Cardboard platform on which to travel across the lava sea and i've released the flood gate on my face to give me obsidian eyes
I threw my underwear to the Lava sharks, fuck if those bees aren't dead
No wait, Nestle! no don't get on that blue chair!! IT HAS MINES ON IT
NOOOOO!!!

Do we get a 3 2 1 GO after reading? I imagine most of us are sitting in a chair.

Let's see. I can dive from my chair to the telephone book. I think I'll be able to take my beer with me.

>>2957836
Crazy Mode: Everything is Lava.

>>2954559
I'm sitting in a beartrap. ;-;

What do those clear plastic mats count as? The ones you put down to protect your floors from the wrath of wheeled chairs.

>>2956115
>THE TOILET PAPER IS NOW COCKS.
fix'd

YOUR MOTHER IS NOW A SLUT

Sooo....Im sitting on a landmine resting on a beartrap that floats atop the lava. Wow...I am so fucked

>>2958324
only now? come on we both now she's been a slut since before she could talk.

Blue carpet is lava shark infested lava?

>>2958324

THE LAVA IS NOW FLOOR

>>2958413

BUT WHO WAS FLOOR?!

I'm sitting on two pillows, the chair is blue and my feet are on the wall.

OH SHI-

>>2958500
Uber gibbed, enjoy your limbs as they fly away

fuck my whole floor is blue, which means its shark infested lava, oh noes! As long as i stay in my chair and keep my feet on this traper keeper i should be fine right

Sooo... I'm riding a shark infested bear trap, which is COVERED in land mines, wearing a shitload of bees, leaning back on my nerotoxin covered walls, in a sea of lava.

... was this game made by Gygax?

after the 'Tomb of Horrors' I wouldn't put anything past him.

>>2958524
>stay in my chair

>Hard: Chairs are bear traps.
About that chair of yours...

I'm having the time of my life!

>>2958524

damnit I"m in a land mine infested bear trap i didn't read those on the first time through i guess the lava sharks got my mangled corpse

Unicorn mode - if you're touching another piece of furniture at all times you can touch the lava.

You're welcome /tg/

>>2958570
Pussy

Omega Tiger Woods Mode: Tan is now Sandworm infested.
Anything plugged in electrocutes you.
Sunlight is fatal.
Any books are F.A.T.A.L.
Blue neon lights give you GOD MODE.

Light bulbs shot lasers if you move to fast.

>>2958634
Bwaha - playing from work is win.
Fuck all you motherfuckers, I'm GOD.

BIOPUNK MODE:

Red flooring is menstrual blood.

Green flooring or flooring with green as an accent is mutagenic; anything in contact with it spreads neurotoxin to a distance of three connections--so if you have a pen on a notebook on a desk on green carpeting, your pen is neurotoxic. If you have a pen on a stack of five books on a desk on a green carpet, the pen is safe and some of the books are not.

All drinks now have a PH below -20.

Oh God No Mode: You are invulnerable and may move about normally as long as My Chemical Romance is playing.

>>2959248
I threw up in my mouth.

>>2959248
FUCK BIOPUNK!!!

>>2959264
NO
OH GOD WHY
WRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

>>2959264
I think I just died a little inside.

Fuck it my ass is in a bear trap

>>2959264
Holocaust Mode: same as Oh God No Mode, but you may not move while Gerard Way is actually singing.

Hilarious mode: You are immune to all harmful effects so long as you have an erection.

Here, lemme help.

Fuck it mode:

I just turned on my X-box. Time to play Gears of War 2 for a bit before sleeping.

>>2959693
DAMN YOU JUBA, DAMN YOUUUU!!!!

>>2959693
NOT HELPING NOT HELPING

>>2959704
Dispensing an erection!

>>2959417

newfag detected

YOU ARE HUGE.

THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE CUM.

SUCK AND FUCK, SUCK AND FUCK.

>>2956119
I lol'd really hard.

Right now I'm okay, I got my shark infested water bee pants off before i was too badly mangled, I haven't touched my shark infested landmine.

But I need rations, and the kitchen is downstairs, I'm going to have to use the banister to get down, and hopefully find something to drop onto... maybe i should take a book and throw that down.

>>2959737
Fuck you mode: The banister is a snake.

>>2959738
T_T how do I go down the stairs. That's it, unicorn mode time. I'm taking my nighttable with me.

I didn't want to use one of the easying modes, but I'm just gonna have to carry this nighttable and think sexy thoughts if I want to get throught his.

It's actually been proven that lava can burn you at 30 feet. Since all of you are, at most, only a foot from the floor you have 3rd degree burns.

Congratulations, everyone in this thread is dead.

>>2959754
fuck you science.

Well, I'm sitting in a bear trap, and my feet are in lava, but I'm such a badass I'm just going to shrug it off. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be walking across the lava to sleep in some landmines.

>>2959754
It has been clinically proven that lava does not give a damn about science.

Fuck, I'm wearing a blue shirt. Holy christ, shark-infested bee-water, get it the fuck off!

>>2959893
Come to think of it... my bed has blue covers, blue pillowcases, and my walls are painted blue.