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  • File :1225506484.jpg-(156 KB, 800x805, Boatmurdered Crest.jpg)
    156 KB Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:28 No.2917093  
    I am well aware of /tg/'s "love" for DF threads, but should you spare some moments reading what will be typed, I promise manly tears will pry themselves from your eyes.

    I was visiting a friend of mine earlier today. So it happens neckbeards flock around neckbeards, and he was currently deep into a game of DF. As I stepped into his room he motions me to quickly check out his monitor.

    On it was the largest demon invasion I've ever seen. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Before you hear the end of the story, you will have to hear the beginning as relayed to me by my friend.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:28 No.2917102

    Having started as your standard DF, the Hamlet of Tyranny was uneventful by /tg/ standards. Sure there would be caravans and immigrants and occasional (though unusually rare) seiges, but there was a dark and DEADLY secret buried beneath the hills. And his name was Ashmalice.

    Ashmalice was a fire demon of legendary status. Not only had he existed in the prehistory of the fort, but he had over 550 kills - which included 2 entire tribes of goblins, a handful of elves, and a terrifying ammound of dwarves... one of whom was the king of the mountain-homes.

    Fast forwarding to the present time major construction was underway of the fort. Many many immigrants had arrived over the years and times were good for the dwarves. Having many legendary carvers and warriors my friend grew lax in his defenses. And his dwarves paid the price when a miner unearthed a glowing pit deep below the dungeons carved into the mountain.

    Within an hour my friend's fortress was besieged by a nearly unending horde of demonic horrors. Ill equipped to deal with the threat immediately, the population of the Hamlet began dropping exponentially. Not even a panicked redirection of the river into the lower levels was enough to staunch the influx of demons, only enough to slow them long enough for the major walkways to be collapsed to buy some precious time.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:29 No.2917105

    Luckilly (and cleverly) my friend had built his fortress in such a way that if any large section had collapsed, then all escape routes would lead out into the wilderness and on a path far from the fortress and defendable by collapsing the ceiling via lever to flood seawater into the tunnel. Though no dwarf was alive on that side of the map, or able to reach it to pull the lever, my friend had bought the dwarves much needed time, though when Ashmalice made himself known all seemed futile. Even moreso when Stuvok lost his mind with rage.

    Stuvok was one of the founding 7. He was an ex-miner turned blacksmith of legendary status. He was a monster of a dwarf that all dwarves aspired to be. And he had just lost his wife Doken (another of the starting 7) to the demon Ashmalice. His sorrow was felt by the surviving clan as he tore through them one by one unopposed. Only when he ran into his workshop and was locked in did his rage abate.

    Morale was rock bottom. Several dwarves commit suicide in this dark hour. And of the handfull who remained of this once great fortress, few were willing to do anything at all, except the only other remaining dwarf of the founders: the engraver Sil. In the months that followed, the floors were carved with graven images of his follow brethren. All hope seemed lost. But this was not the end for the Hamlet. Not just yet...
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:30 No.2917116

    In his grief and mourning, Stuvok opened his heart to the spirits of the dead. And one day they came to him in spirit. In his posessed mood he plotted and planned and (ironically) with the materials available to him, crafted an artifact clearly in homage to his wife: Endless Death of Tears - a sword with an image of a dwarf holding a piece of glass - glass that his wife used daily in her trade.

    My friend had been content to just flood the map with lava and end the game after such losses. But upon seeing this artifact his neckbeard overtook him and he knew that Doken, the dwarves, the king, must all be avenged! And thankfully for me, he decided to continue. Fast forwarding again to the present (the time at which I had come in to see him play) my friend had safely excavated what he could of the fortress and moved all activity to a small corner of the interior. When all levers were erected, dwarves armed, and preparations complete, he unpaused the game for me.

    A few dwarves made suicide runs to the bottom of the dungeons and collapsed them - which in turn lowered the debris above into a sinkhole that breached a large hole for the demons to pour from back into the fort. A few more dwarves valiantly fired into the oncomming tide of hate, but they were nothing but fodder that bought precious moments for the true plan to kick in. A masterfully placed lever that had yet been unpulled brought down the entire mountain through the legendary dining hall ceiling; crushing almost half of the intruding horde.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:31 No.2917125

    As planned, the demons made a bee-line through the side hallways through rows of blade traps. Demons were chewed up by the blades, but still they came. And so did "He". Ashmalice not only avoided the fatal cave-in, passed the slicing blades, and bypassed the numerous flooding-trap chambers, but he and a squad of equally lucky frog demons carved and scorched their way into the final defensive line. Among their victims was Stuvok; unable to avenge his beloved. And the last handfull of dwarves were quickly reduced to 2 - Sil the engraver and the legendary captain of the guard, Daneken.

    As respected and powerful as Stuvok had been, Daneken was that and more. He was a god among his clan, and had once in his long career single-handedly repelled a goblin siege led by a cyclops, and had helped wrestle a dragon to death. And now armed with his dead friend's artifact sword, he was seeing red. Daneken had been stationed at the edge of a chasm (my friend's map had a pit AND chasm that had been unearthed, but it was amazingly only filled with tiny spiders that were easilly dispatched in the early years of the fort). A single bridge had been built to span the chasm, and would have been later expanded as housing. But that plan was no longer. And this was it. This was the end of the dwarves of the Hamlet of Tyranny. But they would not go quietly.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:32 No.2917135

    As the demons approached Daneken threw himself at them in a rage. Ashmalice blasted him with demonic flames, but Daneken was imbued with the collective rage of his people and carved through the frog retainers with little signs of stopping. Ashmalice, however, had seen the deaths of a king and was not impressed with the antics of a lowly dwarf and sent him hurtling back onto the bridge - coincidentally knocking Sil over the edge. With his flesh scorching and his blood boiling, Denekan crawled to his feet just in time to see Ashmalice hover over him. With but a single push the fortress would be claimed by demons. But to my friend's and my own utter jaw-dropping amazement, it was the dwarves who claimed him.

    Daneken, in a testament to his dwarfdom slashed off one of Ashmalice's arm/wing and plunged Endless Death of Tears into his evil heart. Such was the force of the blow that the demon was hurled backwards off of the bridge and sent spiraling down into the unending darkness; spouting curses the entire way. With his clan and his king avenged, Daneken himself tumbled from the bridge. But... one dwarf remained?
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:33 No.2917140

    Awestruck by what had just happend, I urged my friend to quickly find the survivor! The menus opened, the tabs clicked, and we see that name. Sil. Sil? But he fell into the chasm! What was going on? With the battle essentially over and the remaining demons blocked from furthur intrusion by an unchecked flood of river water, we peer into the chasm. Several Z-levels down, on a tiny 2-square ledge, lay Sil - broken and bleeding, but alive.

    With no way to save him, and with his entire clan residing in the afterlife, we debated how this should end. Should we just abandon the fort outright? Should we try and kill him somehow? What? In the end, however, we decided to let him create one more carving - one last testament to dwarfkind. This decision did not come lightly, as after such an epic climax, anything less would seem an insult. But still we left him to his work. Afterall, maybe he would draw a picture of a plump helmet or something equally LOL RANDUM XD.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:34 No.2917150
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    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:34 No.2917154

    What did he draw? Moments before he bled to death? Alone on a cliff? The last gesture of the dwarves of the Hamlet of Tyranny?


    A picture of a demon and some dwarves. The demon was in a fetal position. The dwarves were laughing.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:38 No.2917181
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:41 No.2917203



    Yeah, but only in one thread at a time, k brah? We are still guests here after all!
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:43 No.2917216
    Saved. This is win in text form.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:47 No.2917245
    This story has finally pushed me to try this beast of a game.

    acer quad core with 5 gigs of RAM and a geforce 8600 enough to run this game properly? I heard it melted lappies.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:48 No.2917260
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    Forgot mah pic
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:49 No.2917270
    wtf are you rambling about, cockfaggot?
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:51 No.2917284
    since when does wow reward any amount of gaming skill?
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:53 No.2917291

    Your multiple cores are useless, your graphics card DOES NOTHING and your five gigaboots of ram will be destroyed. Also FAGGOT

    Well, it should run pretty well. If you configure the .ini file it'll run really smooth.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:55 No.2917299
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:55 No.2917306
    No. Try a real computer.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:57 No.2917318
    Fuck you shit faggot, Dwarf Fortress can easily be learned in 20 minutes by someone with an actual BRAIN. ITs not the game's fault the deepest instance you had in a game was to circlestrafe left or circlestrafe right.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:57 No.2917319

    calm down dude, he mearly stated that we should have one thread at a time, and 2 or 4 on the front page alone
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:58 No.2917325

    20 minutes to learn the menus, the HOW DO I MINE FOR STEEL and OH SHIT Z-LEVELS ARE LOLS what is this ramp oh sh- WHAT IS THIS OH GOD
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)22:58 No.2917327
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:02 No.2917346
    I'm basing a 4e Dwarf character on the awesome stories I've heard about Dorf Fortress here. What weapon/class combination should he be?
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:05 No.2917358
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:08 No.2917375
    Sorry faggot. Not all of us have rich mommies to buy us a new computer every year.
    Any reccomendations? It says removing stuff like weather will speed it up but I don't want to detract at all from the supposed ball busting complexity and hardness.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:10 No.2917382
    Fuck no. He has to be a WRESTLER. He must WRASSLE undead carp to death.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:13 No.2917392
    4e doesn't really support unarmed combat, so wrestling is out. Go Fighter, use a hammer and a shield. Also crossbow for backup. Bonus points if your DM lets you use the crossbow as your hammer.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:18 No.2917413
    First thing I see on /tg/ is this. It's so beautiful, so dorfy, so epic.

    I cannot think of anything more to say...I'm just so moved by it that words refuse to come to mind and filter the emotions into something blander than the purity of a combination of awe and wonder and inspiration I feel now.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:20 No.2917430
    Weather and temperature only matters if you live in a glacier or need water to freeze seasonally. You can basically turn it off, or not play, because the performance change is very large. Cap that shit at 50 dwarves to keep it playable. Or let the population get high enough for the economy to start and all the nobles to show up, but have a mechanism to mass murder your dwarves ready so you can trim back to 50.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:30 No.2917480
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    >> The Warp !JpnUTrf.3g 10/31/08(Fri)23:31 No.2917485

    Its... brootiful...
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:36 No.2917511
    Although being able to make flash freeze traps is a perk.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:36 No.2917512
    I wept.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:37 No.2917519
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    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:39 No.2917533
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    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:47 No.2917563
    This is the best thread
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:52 No.2917581
    Holy fucking shit man.

    I just make towers. 10x10 towers. As high as I need them. I build outdoors, using only glass, mostly because I still haven't figured out how to get through this monster of an aquifer. It's like 3-4 levels thick all the way throughout the map.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:54 No.2917588
    I've got a couple stories that aren't mine. I'll post them.

    I might only have one, actually.

    I had two dwarves who were like best friends. These guys were the only two surviving members of the original seven (I'd had some trouble with the locals) and in a fort of like 50 dudes were some of my best dwarves. One of them made an artifact cabinet out of marble and carried it everywhere with him.

    A goblin siege happened, and I ordered all my dwarves to get inside as I had a pretty good defensive setup in there. Unfortunately, my legendary mason was slowed by his cabinet, and he didn't make it all the way to the fort before the goblins caught him and killed him.

    His friend went fucking berserk. The guy ran outside with no weapons or armor, grabbed a goblin, then threw him into a murky pool and held him underwater until he drowned. He charged the next closest goblin and punched him to death, ignoring the hail of crossbow bolts that came down on him. He choked a third and a fourth goblin, taking only light wounds in the process, and shortly after scared the rest into retreating. He chased them and caught a straggler, marking his fifth kill.

    Afterwards, he went back inside and went to bed, fairly depressed over losing a friend. Then he hit a fey mood and went into the craftsdwarf's workshop. He came out with a crown, and upon the crown was an image of a dwarf raising a cabinet--a final homage to his late best friend.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:55 No.2917601
    I came
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:56 No.2917603
    >> Brownie 10/31/08(Fri)23:58 No.2917612
    That is awesome. I am slowly being convinced there are next to no games that can match that level of gloriousness.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:58 No.2917617
    None. Manlier.

    I always loved this story too.
    >> Anonymous 10/31/08(Fri)23:59 No.2917621
    Endless Death of Tears.

    I cried manly tears /tg.

    I'm saving this name, it is too epic
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:03 No.2917639
         File :1225512194.png-(576 KB, 667x799, Skullland5.png)
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    Post some more stories, you lousy gits.

    Picture somewhere related. Someone got this randomly generated world a while back here.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:05 No.2917647
    Let me tell you all a story about a dorf named Udib Blazechambers.

    Udib was a novice wrestler who had just decided to try his hand at being a Speardwarf. He wasn't a very tough or strong solider, but he had a long way to go.

    Not too long after he began his spear training, we were beset by our first goblin siege. I closed the drawbridges and decided to let the goblins die in our killing fields of trappy death, but they wouldn't have it. They mingled on the edge of the map for a few months and I got tired of holing my dwarves up. I opened the drawbridge with the intent of having them storm my main hallway into a rain of crossbow death, but the goblins still wouldn't have it.

    My great plan was to send a lowly recruit, being Udib, into the goblins to incite them, and possibly lure them into some traps. Udib thought otherwise. He ran screaming across the fields and thrust his new spear into a goblin's throat. He was quickly surrounded on three sides, but he drooped into a martial trance and slaughtered them in a matter of seconds. The goblins morale broke and they started to run, but Udib chased them to the end of the map, dropping one final goblin in the chase.

    A few months later, Udib died in a tragic sparring accident. He now has a glorious tomb with totems carved from his enemies' skulls.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:05 No.2917652
    Didn't someone else get inverted Morrowind?
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:12 No.2917681

    New fortress location: In the eye of the skull. DO IT FAGET
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:14 No.2917692
    Now I want to play Dorf Fortress. But my computer is full of things, and I have little time to learn all the interfaces and shit. What should I do, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:14 No.2917694
    someone archive this now.

    manly. tears. I'm not even male and they're still manly tears.
    >> The Warp !JpnUTrf.3g 11/01/08(Sat)00:14 No.2917695
    "shadow people" looks sorta like lolcron...
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:16 No.2917709
    You don't exist, faggot. Go home and die.
    >> Schrödinger !!HabIEzSQ0tA 11/01/08(Sat)00:17 No.2917712
    Just play it. You don't need much space for it, nor as much processing power as some would have you believe. In addition, the learning curve is greatly exagerrated, since pretty much everything you need to know is on screen most of the time. If you can't do something, it'll tell you why. Just make sure you understand how the Z axis works, pack lots of booze, and you'll be fine.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:17 No.2917715
    I have a 2.5 ghz with 2 gig memory and cannot get above 9 fps.
    >> The Warp !JpnUTrf.3g 11/01/08(Sat)00:19 No.2917727
    two 1.66 early model core duos and 1gb of ram, unless you're running vista i can't see what your problem is, bar running on a massive tile scale.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:20 No.2917734
    Nope, ran with 2x3 embarking area, using Windows XP Pro, and the latest stable version.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:22 No.2917746
    OMG. If you guys post more stories like this I think I'll dump a load right here on my keyboard.
    >> Schrödinger !!HabIEzSQ0tA 11/01/08(Sat)00:22 No.2917750
    I have 1.66ghz dual core processor (of which, obviously, only one is used), 1 gig of RAM, and am running Vista. I use all the default settings except for turning off Economy because the room prices irritate me. I get an average of 20fps, and haven't seen it go below 15 even when I got to 80 dorfs. You sir, are doing something wrong.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:24 No.2917759
    He might be full of spyware/adware or shit running in the background
    >> Schrödinger !!HabIEzSQ0tA 11/01/08(Sat)00:26 No.2917765
    Then you're DEFINATELY doing something wrong. The opening sequence should be 100fps every time, then maybe 60 or so on the menu. Check you haven't set a fpscap or something in the init.txt
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:27 No.2917768
    I'd love to know what I'm doing wrong. And when I mean I cannot get above 9fps, I mean in the menu, during embarkation, anytime.

    Nope, I shut down everything I can that doesn't cause a reboot via the Processes, rather than Applications tab of the Task Manager.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:27 No.2917771
         File :1225513661.jpg-(66 KB, 1306x662, ShittyMSPaintAttempt.jpg)
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    My shitty attempt to drawfag for OP until someone with actual talent and more than MSPaint comes around.
    >> Schrödinger !!HabIEzSQ0tA 11/01/08(Sat)00:28 No.2917773
    should point to
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:28 No.2917775
    Probably not taking out spyware/adware
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:29 No.2917779

    Are you using Vista?
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:29 No.2917780
    I had a pair of legendary miners who became dwarf and wife. Unfortunately, these two miners were my only source of military defense throughout the many perils of the first years. As a team they slew ten goblins, and drove off ambushes which had annihilated trade merchants and their guards. Then one day I sent them to the surface, ms Urist brought her infant son to show him the ways of the surface world. The goblins were many that day and no doubt they were emboldened by having just smashed a caravan to splinters. Ms Urist charged into battle, holding her son up so that he could get a good view (and not get so much gore on him). Four goblins fell, their organs mined right out of their chests and skulls. As the rest fled, the proud mother pumped her unbelievably agile legs in pursuit. As she closed with the ambush leader, she felt her strength ebb as unnoticed wounds took their toll. The goblin turned, his halberd spun with hell's momentum. Ms Urist felt no fear, for her husband was surely by her side, ready to protect her. She had only a few seconds to wonder what went wrong as she died, face down in the earth. The goblin's keen, steel blade had cut through her child and into her abdomen, spilling her blood in a widening pool around her.

    In the dining hall, Mr Urist finished a lengthy guzzle of wine. Two nights later, his family was buried in a pair of fine orthoclase coffins. He celebrated with a truly decadent meal. Life was good. You could even say he was ecstatic.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:30 No.2917787
    Well for that I leave my malware checker.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:33 No.2917801
    "Take THAT, monster! LULZ!!!!!"

    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:33 No.2917802
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:35 No.2917806
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:35 No.2917808

    I was aiming for the impression that the monster was trying to be all stoic about what just happened, but any second would run off b'awwwwing to write in his Live Journal how mean the evil Dorfs were to him that day.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:36 No.2917812

    Then he should get a real computer.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:36 No.2917814

    Dude. Wow. I...
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:38 No.2917821
    Why? Does vista slow it down?

    Alos where should I start? I'm hesistant.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:40 No.2917828

    I haven't said this in months, /tg/, but it is completely warrented this time: I am posting in an epic thread.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:40 No.2917830
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    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:40 No.2917832
    I'd say
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:41 No.2917840

    2 things you need: Running water, and stone.

    Pick a place with a river or brook, and dig. You can go without magma, but you cannot attempt some of the awesomer shit. Then again, you are learning the basics first.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:46 No.2917861
    Kay. I have like a million cool ideas but I also don't want to try and make my ideal fort at first because I fully well expect to be fucked in the ass.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:47 No.2917866
    A Dorf Fortress thread without a single sage.

    OP, this is proof of the epicness in your story.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:49 No.2917871

    every fort you ever have will be fucked in the ass eventually. welcome to df
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:50 No.2917876
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:50 No.2917877
    I found a place in the middle of a forest with lava and a river. Is taht good enough?
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:50 No.2917878

    It's not about whether or not you get raped in the ass.

    It's about whether or not you rip off the dick of the douche who's trying to ream you or die in the attempt.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:50 No.2917881
    I am playing Dorf Forest right now and love the game. And this thread is good.
    But still.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:51 No.2917882
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:51 No.2917884
    Oh wait
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:51 No.2917887

    Stone can be gotten just by digging deeper. Just dig dig dig.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:52 No.2917892

    Goddamn you.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:52 No.2917894
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    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:53 No.2917906
    lol no? Most people get BORED and flood their fort with lava.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:56 No.2917934
    Keep digging until you find things with the symbol &

    Its a super secret feature
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)00:58 No.2917941
    Where's a good drawfag when you need one?
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)01:04 No.2918008
    fucking bump
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)01:07 No.2918025
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    It's just that, the last time I posted an MSPaint based upon the nil amount of talent I have, someone stepped up and provided /tg/ with this picture...I was hoping it would happen again.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)01:19 No.2918087
    This thread is why I love /tg/. Seriously.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)01:20 No.2918099
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    i got this picture in my head after reading this. only maybe with 7 dwarves like the starting 7 or something.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)01:24 No.2918125
    My scanners not working :/
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)01:25 No.2918134

    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)01:25 No.2918136
    And the Dwarves' victory lived on in the hearts and minds of /tg/ forever.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)01:25 No.2918137
    Sounds like "just as planned" to me.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)01:29 No.2918166
    .... 'Hamlet of Tyranny'?
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)01:34 No.2918210
    epic thread detected, beginning posts.

    me personally I'm on an epic challenge, 2000 dwarves in a fort. now maybe you think, WTF 2k dorfs? but come on, why the hell not 2k dorfs? dorfs are awesome.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)01:40 No.2918249
    if your machine can handle it, more power to you.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)01:41 No.2918257
    Fort suicide by CPU overload? That's a new one.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)01:42 No.2918261

    doesn't turning temperature off make magma not hot, though? but yeah, weather doesn't really matter, unless you're relying on rain to refill murky pools or something.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)01:45 No.2918287
    Unfortunately, yes. The variables might be split in upcoming editions, but for now you have to decide to either deal with the lag or resist the temptations of "lead magma pipe, lol".
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)01:48 No.2918306
    I got the power. also my first attempt was with a max sized fort, I got to 500 dwarves before it slowed down to oh god. so I have cut back and am looking for a 5x5 with a cave river, magma, and hfs. cause, baby that's all you need.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)01:50 No.2918319
    DF players finding new ways to total all their hard work every day.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)01:54 No.2918342
    Just for that. JUST FOR THAT!

    It was a pretty cool story though, bro.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)02:04 No.2918397
    dont be a faggot
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)02:07 No.2918421
    We're all faggots down here.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)02:08 No.2918428
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)02:10 No.2918433
    this thread lost steam when the stories stopped getting posted
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)02:14 No.2918461
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    I will post another story about married dwarves. This story is in picture form.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)02:24 No.2918509

    I don't get it.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)02:29 No.2918536
    The wife sentenced her husband to 51 days in jail for a violation of a production order.

    Or the husband sentenced the wife.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)02:43 No.2918585
    My engraver had a grudge against another Dwarf, so the entire fortress was covered in pictures of

    "Dwarves and a Dwarf. The Dwarves are excluding the dwarf. The Dwarf looks dejected."

    What an ass hole.
    >> Double_Golbat !pnicnCTgx. 11/01/08(Sat)02:44 No.2918588
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    Not historically accurate.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)02:54 No.2918629
    i had a mason named frolic udeh who i swear never did a damned thing, i would always see him on break or attending a party, or as i found out later at every disaster ive ever had. a few years back i was digging a new well when i overlooked the z levels ending in a massive fountain killing one of my miners and terrifying everyone else. not frolic tho, he just sat at the base of the fountain on break. watching. i swear he was amused by it. fast forward 3 years a lengthy excavation and the loss of 5 more dorfs and the flood is over and frolic for his cheekyness has been sent into the militias a crosbowman
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)03:00 No.2918640

    Maybe he was a massive stoner.

    "Heeeeeey, maaaan. The floor is wateeeeer, maaaaan."
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)03:01 No.2918646
    Feels good man.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)03:01 No.2918648
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)03:04 No.2918655
    little bastard still hasn't done a damned thing while on duty. only now he hangs out in the booze stockpile or plinking at targets. iwas actually planning on killing him in one of my death o matic rooms, but then the seige came, they blew thru my front doors and clogged the few traps i had leaving just a handful of bowmen to deal with them. they lasted under a minute. so now they had free reighn over my fort it was a massacre everyone died childen, puppys..even the dungeon master couldnt stop them he had been holding the last line into the stockpile. at that point it was over i knew it then i looked in the announcement

    frolic stopps drink interuppted by goblin.
    that little fucker...
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)03:06 No.2918660
    Ah dorf fortress how you make me lawl.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)03:08 No.2918667

    His fail is our win.
    >> Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip 11/01/08(Sat)03:09 No.2918679
    I don't have any really epic Stories. Mostly just weird Writefaggotry and that one fort with the Limonite Lute.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)03:12 No.2918683
    i couldnt even get satifaction from watching him die! the bastard had apparently become godlike with that bow dispatching 4 goblin pikemen when they walked in! the rest ran from fright out the door or deeper into the mines ive tryed to get him to go after the remainder but he wont have any of it he just sits in the storeroom drinking. surrounded by corpses
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)03:14 No.2918692
    This entire thread has pleased me in ways that if my sister pleased me that way I would say "Oh shit! Did you read my diary or something?!"
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)03:17 No.2918699
    You orgasmed to this thread? You're even more neckbeardier than me.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)03:23 No.2918719
    and this sir is precisly why I love this game
    >> Anonymous /co/mrade 11/01/08(Sat)03:23 No.2918720
    I don't quite get into DF the way some of /tg/ does. I just can't stand the micromanaging, or really see the point.

    So I just make forts in weird places and try to stabilize. This time, I did it on a lava vent in a swamp. Turns out the aquifer was two levels down, so I didn't expect much. I promptly set about trying to scrounge up a little fort with wooden and obsidian walls, dug into the dirt.

    And then the goblins came. You know how they usually send some little bandits and scouting parties and crap before coming in force? Yeah, not for me. About 20 goblins showed up to wreck my fortress of about 15 or so dwarves.

    So I shutter up house and start making weapons out of whatever I have laying around. Turns out it's obsidian (since beer isn't much of a weapon), so I make a bunch of obsidian swords and send my recruits to slaughter and be slaughtered. Huge fight ensues, goblins and dwarves kill each other, goblins run away.

    Afterward, I'm left with half my dwarves dead, a pile of dead goblins, and a hole in the dirt. Abandon time? Not quite. I order all of my dwarves to dump the bodies of their fallen kin into the lava vent, and get digging into the obsidian, to try and build proper walls and defenses for the fortress.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)03:32 No.2918747
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)03:41 No.2918779

    Maybe, if you build a fortress in some pussy-ass starting location.
    >> Anonymous /co/mrade 11/01/08(Sat)03:42 No.2918781
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    It turns out that, while decaying loved ones makes dwarves unhappy, incinerated loved ones do not. So my surviving dwarves, most of them buoyed in spirits by the slaughter of goblins, dig into the obsidian, trying to dig out some building materials.

    I luck out in two ways. First, I dig into the sandy edges of the aquifer. This means glass, for crafts and furniture and, most importantly, traps. Secondly, I finally dig under the aquifer into proper stone, which happens to be riddled with copper and tin veins.

    Two years later, when the goblins lay siege, I'm ready. The survivors all have obsidian swords and bronze armor and crossbows with bolts made from the bones of fallen goblins. The walls are solid obsidian, except for a murder path with glass blade traps in crossbowdwarves' fields of fire.

    Every year, the goblins come, and are sliced to pieces. Searingiron (yeah, I lucked into an awesome name) grows fat on wealth from plundered dead goblins. The engravers are engraving cowering goblins and dead goblins and pieces of goblins everywhere.

    Recently, I started ramping up a little bit of crafting, just to fiddle with it. My dwarves have taken to making red-dyed cloth and bronze decorations and crafts. And this is the goddess they worship.

    This game worries me sometimes.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)04:07 No.2918924

    >> Double_Golbat !pnicnCTgx. 11/01/08(Sat)04:09 No.2918935
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    I forgot what the damn thing was called, if it was Monkey or Macque or as my auto-word filter suggests macaque. But as I started out in Sarvesharist(Furnace Assaults) my whole party of Dwarves were immediately attacked by what I can only assume to be monkies, I quickly set everyone to military and had them dispatched, but only after they managed to kill my fish cleaning Dwarf.

    I quickly made a bedroom and a kitchen, and decided that it was fine for now to leave the craft workshops outside instead of waiting forever to carve out rooms for them and the stockpiles, then had my engraver toil away at smoothing everything inside, then engraving it. I made an underground farm and made some irrigation, made an upstairs outdoor farm which I apparently had no seeds and not sure how to make potash. Several Cougars were about and would kill any lone dwarf running out to hunt. During the course of the adventure I killed atleast 20 Rhesus MmmHrrmmHmm, and several packs of wolves, but despite having a butcher shop and what not everyone left the corpses around to just rot, and I set several of our horses to be butchered at some point but then they decided it was a good idea to just stick around in one of the Dwarves bedrooms.
    >> Double_Golbat !pnicnCTgx. 11/01/08(Sat)04:09 No.2918938
    Not sure when but at some point a bunch of immigrants showed up with their two kids and a Loli Dwarf up and grabbed one of the monkies and made SOMETHING with it in a Fey mood, never did find out what. She immediately turned legendary and spent the rest of the time playing with cats and even ran circles around a Cougar without it jumping her. Not that I'm too sure on that, I was mostly watching the announcement "Dwarf cancels: Give water, Needs empty bucket" despite having four empty buckets and watching the same message go off only saying "No Food".

    Eventually almost everyone starved to death, except my legendary Bone Crafting Loli, her talentless little brother and a useless peasant who through tantrums. I abandoned fort just in some hopes the Loli wouldn't be claimed dead here in the history books and perhaps have some decent life off in another fort.

    Now if only I could refind the site and go visit in Adventure mode.
    >> Double_Golbat !pnicnCTgx. 11/01/08(Sat)04:12 No.2918957
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    >> Double_Golbat !pnicnCTgx. 11/01/08(Sat)04:26 No.2919004
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    >In the late spring of 202, Seduceround the Flowery Malice was created.

    I must find this. That will be all for now /tg/, I am off on an adventure!
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)06:11 No.2919322
    My god. I wish I had something to share with everyone else here. But my first - and only - Dwarf Fortress adventure I abandoned 20 minutes into it because I couldn't figure out what the hell to do at the time. Not only could I not figure out how to bring supplies with my party, but my biggest achievement was designating a patch of land as a "dump".
    >> Double_Golbat !pnicnCTgx. 11/01/08(Sat)06:20 No.2919352
    I've been playing for about a month and still need to look at the wiki or ask obscure and simple questions.

    Basically, q lets you use or dismantle your buildings. At the start you want to find a good sized area to start making your fortress. And then you want to go to your cart and hit q and then move it over the cart and hit x, this will tell the Dwarves to disassemble it and give you three logs to do whatever you want.

    Pressing the p button lets you designate where they store things.
    Pressing b tells them where to designate furniture or if you press b, then press w you can select workshops which would make furniture.

    >> Double_Golbat !pnicnCTgx. 11/01/08(Sat)06:25 No.2919359
    Well really the first thing you want to do is relax, you can press k which lets you scan around with the game paused and you can check the stats on things.
    You can pause freely by pressing the space bar at any time.

    u will show you all the living units on the field. Unfortunately if a unit is dead it won't zoom to it, you can zoom to living(it will zoom to undead), by pressing c while in the u menu.

    If you find that you're not one for longevity, I would suggest starting in a place with a chasm and/or thats marked SINISTER or TERRIFYING. So that you can watch as skeletal whales, or zombie carp devour your Dwarves.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)06:52 No.2919421
    Calling bullshit on OP's story based on this:

    >Demons were chewed up by the blades, but still they came.

    Demons are immune to weapon traps.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)06:58 No.2919429
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    In memory of The Hamlet of Tyranny, my next BBEG is named Ashmalice.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)06:59 No.2919433

    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)07:06 No.2919446
    Supposed to be multiple dorfs. Cool pic anyway.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)07:10 No.2919458

    Haha... about time, anon. I was wondering if the thread would disapear into the archives without anyone realizing the truth.

    Wasn't it a coincidence that Ashmalice was a fire demon and his name fit him? Or the sword having a name AND an image that fit the fallen dwarf's wife? Or, of all things, the final engraving being that epic when the engraver himself would have never been in a happy enough mood or condition to even draw something like that?

    You, anon, are observant. But you still lose The Game.

    Incidentally, I'm also the anon who pranked /tg/ with the Games Workshop Fall Catalogue '08. G'NIGHT FOLKS!
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)07:16 No.2919477
    I figured the fact it was fake was so obvious it didn't need mentioning.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)07:21 No.2919481
    what >>2919477
    said. sorry >>2919458
    but your "prank" backfired. because even though it was bs it was still a thread about dorfs an fightan. and /tg/ gets off on that sorta thing. better luck next time.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)07:23 No.2919484
    This is the story of Mansacks, the cursed crater.

    The site my Dwarves embarked to looked pretty good. Lots of wood, a river, and a dozen-or-so tiles from it a lava pool surrounded on three sides by a collar of clay cliffs. At first I was worried about stone, but after digging into the cliffs I quickly found layers of microcline and granite. I carved a 3-square entrance tunnel into the cliff, ending with a common area dug exclusively in microcline. In the same area I placed a trade depot made entirely out of microcline. I called this place the azure chamber.
    My dwarves were carrying food inside one of the newly-dug rooms when they came.

    At first it was just one fire imp. He jumped my metalsmith and chased him into the woods. One fireball, second fireball, third fireball and the metalsmith was dead. Unfortunately one of them missed and set fire to the nearby trees. The fire started spreading rapidly and the remaining dwarves fought to save the supplies still in the wagon, which was placed in the woods on the other side of the map. They braved the fiery front carrying barrels of food and booze until the wagon itself caught fire. In the last pulse of bravery and dedication to survival of the settlement, the mason grabbed a barrel from the flaming wagon and decided to carry it to the camp. His senses clouded by the smoke he did not realise the barrel already caught fire. He burned down halfway before his destination.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)07:26 No.2919488
    Lured by the heat on the surface three more imps jumped out of the lava pool. They made short work of the remaining dwarves save two, but chasing their prey they got lost in the burned-down woods.

    The two survivors decided to keep the site running until immigrants arrived, so they could relay the terrible story to the mountainhomes (they wouldn't survive the journey being very low on food). The two were: a miner and an animal caretaker/trainer. Apparently the caretaker lost his mind from the deaths of his companions. He took care of animals for the rest of his life, not minding his thirst or hunger. He eventually died of thirst in the azure chamber, surrounded by animals totally oblivious to his corpse.

    The miner realized the microcline must have been cursed, as after unearthing it the catastrophy started. He began to mine a channel of lava to prevent any further tries of settling in the cliffs beyond the lava pool. He soon ran out of booze and was left with a single barrel of meat. But he still carried on digging the lava channels to seal of the cursed room.
    >> Anonymous /co/mrade 11/01/08(Sat)07:26 No.2919489
    Aren't all of these stories about half made-up bullshit?

    The fun is not when all of the random factors line up in a row. The fun is when they line up enough for you to fill in your own gaps.

    So, your trolling entertained and delighted us, and reminded everyone why we like DF.

    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)07:27 No.2919491
    Eventually autumn arrived, and with it a wave of settlers. Coming near the site the first thing they saw was a single dwarf mining a channel of lava. He looked tired and starving. Before they managed to get to him he lost consciousness and fell into the channel he dug dieing in lava. He did not relay the story of the cursed chamber to the newcomers.

    The settlers found no other survivors, only rotten corpses and charred bones. Thinking that goblins slaughtered everyone, they returned to the mountainhomes, so a military force could be mustered to reclaim the site.

    To be continued...
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)07:32 No.2919509
    i dont care if any or all of these stories were fake. we got plenty of material from them that can be used in actual games like >>2919429 said how his badguy will be named ashmalice. whos to say boatmurdered wasnt fake? did we see these people play it? who knows. either way it was epic, and so was everything in this thread. the drawfaggotry was sublime too.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)07:38 No.2919528
    Well, Boatmurdered has screen captures.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)07:38 No.2919530

    And saves.
    >> e l i t e !!hN3cVk7VMv6 11/01/08(Sat)07:45 No.2919553
    Probably fake but still a cool story.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)08:00 No.2919593
    During the spring three squads of dwarves arrived to reclaim the site of Mansacks. They were all long-time friends, and were ready to settle in the place after repelling whatever threat it presented.

    At first they encountered no resistance, so they started carrying supplies into the halls. When they entered the azure chamber the only thing they found was a trade outpost. And blodd. Lots of blood. Everywhere in the room there were corpses of animals: dogs, cows, horses. The blue walls of the room and the trade depot were spattered with their blood. Did the goblins do this? Suddenly from unfinished granite living area a fire man attacked from his ambush. One of the squads armed themselves and attacked him. The demon ripped the lower body of the first soldier off from the rest, while other sqad members clubbed him to death with their hammers. The injured dwarf died soon from bleeding to death.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)08:01 No.2919597
    The rest of dwarves eventually started production of furniture in the fortress, but for some reason none of them wanted to clean the animal corpses in the azure hall (later I realized they along with all te stones were set to forbidden, this was the first time I tried reclaiming a fortress). Soon the imps arrived again and with them another fire man. One of the squads, armed with crossbows made quick work of the imps, but the fire man kept running. The fights set off another massive forest fire, but fortunately all supplies were already inside. When the squad finally cornered the fire man, the beast put up a good fight heavily wounding two dwarves before finally turning into a mound of ash. One of them was transported to the barracks, the other to one of the newly-furnished rooms.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)08:02 No.2919599
    But the curse of azure chamber does not let it's victims get away. The rotting animal corpses and death of a friend started to drive the dwarves insane. One of the tantrumers destroyed the trade depot, another destroyed carpenter's workshop throwing beds around the chamber. One of them eventually went berserk. I activated a squad of dwarves who had the least things to do, but unfortunately the squad consisted of only 4 soldiers now. Two of them were bedridden from injuries, one was asleep in the barracks and the last one was attacked by the berserker after carrying water to the bedridden dwarf in the room area. The berserker ripped the soldier's throat out, but somehow in his madness managed to keep him alive long enough that the soldier bled to death rather than suffocating. This all happened in the hallway of the room area, and other dwarves were afraid to bring water to the bedridden soldier, so he died from thirst, as did the berserker.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)08:03 No.2919603
    Death of those three dwarves made another one went berserk. Blaming this on the squad who did nothing to stop the previous berserker he burst into barracks. Throwing only a quick glance at the injured soldier, he quickly attacked the sleeping one spraying blood across the walls. As with the previous three they all died of thirst and bleeding. The remaining dwarves started going mad. Two became babbling wrecks. One threw himself into the lava, another undressed in the azure chamber and was quickly killed by a microcline stone thrown his way.

    I ordered the last sane dwarf to build a microcline wall at the entrance to the cursed settlement. The brave farmer-turned-mason, walled hmself and the renaning rampaging dwarves inside, forever sealing the madness of the cursed microcline chamber from the outside world.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)08:04 No.2919606
    No word reached the mountainhomes about the fate of Mansacks, but the scouts reported seeing no hostile armies in the area, meaning that it was not the invaders that stopped the settlement of the place. Fearing further losses the king forbid making settlements there, and ordered the change of descripton of the area to "terryfying".
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)15:39 No.2921399

    Wow, didn't think this thread would still be up in the morning.

    One of my engraverdorfs keeps making pictures of the mayor surrounded by large roaches.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)15:55 No.2921483

    haha, its funny. You (if it's really the OP) produced a great, worthwhile story based on DF, that no a single dorf fan disliked, and you claim to be trolling?

    Talk about accidental success.

    You should try this "trolling" of yours more often.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)16:02 No.2921512
    In my last fortress, all of my engravings are either of buckets or of "[object] and dwarves. The [object] is surrounded by the dwarves. The dwarves are screaming."

    And that was before INFINITE GOBLIN WORKS steamrolled me.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)16:15 No.2921562

    It was still an awesome story.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)16:30 No.2921603
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    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)16:42 No.2921635

    How do you get your dorfs to throw stuff, anyway? I never figured that out.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)16:51 No.2921654

    Rhesus macaques. Your hunters will bring back corpses unless they get distracted by another hunt; so, especially if you're getting attacked by wildlife and producing many corpses, best thing to do is to set 'o'rders, I think under 'r'efuse, so that dorfs retrieve corpses from outside. Not on my dorf computer right now so I can't check exact options but it should be obvious.


    If you still have the save, abandoned or not, you can (alternately copy it first) abandon, and then go to start a new fort, but when you're on the world map use 'R' for reclaim, and you can see from that where the fort site is/was.

    Potash is totally unnecessary for fertilization for food production (mind you it does have an effect but farming is already incredibly easy.) However, you make it in a wood burner's workshop. If you have a kiln/magma kiln you can then make pearlash from the potash, and use that to make clear glass.

    This is why nobles who like clear glass have a short life expectancy.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)16:52 No.2921659

    If you mean throw items in combat, that is only possible when they're in a tantrum or in adventurer mode.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)16:54 No.2921667
    In fortress mode, dwarves only throw stuff if they tantrum. If you want your military dwarves to send things flying off cliffs, use hammer dwarves.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)17:01 No.2921695
    It's so awesome when you get a legendary Hammer Lord doing this shit. I had one hit a goblin off of a mountain, causing it to fly right into a chasm all the way across the map. It hit a cliff halfway down and exploded into a geyser of gore that went like five Z-levels up.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)17:04 No.2921707
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)17:11 No.2921740

    Eventually hammer weapon traps are intended to have a similar effect (we'll see how much - maybe mechanism + weapon quality based?)

    This makes me want to start drawing up plans for goblin pinball.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)17:17 No.2921749
    When training my military, I generally cross train with other weapons before settling on hammers simply because they are awesome (since if an enemy is flying through the air, it can't hit back).
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)17:20 No.2921766
    How many blade traps should I aim for?

    And how many weapons per trap?
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)17:23 No.2921780

    For what? The more you put up, the more goblins/whatever will die. Indeed, traps are pretty cheap as a way to defeat sieges.

    So if you want the game to be easy, lots of weapon traps, and lots of weapons in each trap. As many as you can manage of the first, and as many as possible of the second.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)17:28 No.2921791
    >>OP story
    Dwarves in a mountain.
    Overrun by demons and goblins from the depths.
    Bridge across a chasm.


    Am I the only one who sees a few years later... some humans, a dwarf, and elf, and some halflings turning up? And ashmalice crawling back up from the pit and having an epic showdown with one of the humans on that bridge?
    >> Masterwork Bastard !DOD3/eopFI 11/01/08(Sat)17:29 No.2921795
    The most epic dwarf I have ever seen was, no doubt, the young Mokum "Wolfslayer" Lokuthum. He was, by large, an useless dwarf in the beginning. He was fighting with everyone, holding parties when he should have worked and honestly somehow avoiding all work he could. He was, to put it into words, a no-good half-beard.

    At first, he was simply ignored, the other dwarves of the Founding Seven too busy to pay attention to him. The food stores were low, alcohol was needed and furniture was seriously lacking behind. But after few too many fingers and naps during worktime, the expedition leader took the matter into his hands.

    Punching Mokum around head, the leader threw him out of the fledgling fortress, tossing an axe for him. But he was not about to give him an easy task, not by a long shot. Instead of cutting down trees, Mokum was ordered to hunt deer. With his axe. He was not fast, not by a long shot, and knew nothing about sneaking or fighting with his axe, but being held at crossbow point and told to do it, the young dwarf had to learn fast.

    After a few days of exhaustive running, Mokum finally managed to charge and fell a young deer. Or more accurately, to fall on it and then hack the shocked animal to pieces. He was allowed to drink and eat, and then tossed out again. He killed a few more, and then a few after that. He certainly learned nothing about swinging an axe in that time, nor about sneaking, but he earned a living.
    >> Masterwork Bastard !DOD3/eopFI 11/01/08(Sat)17:31 No.2921806
    Mokum could have gone about his life like that, perhaps becoming a real asset to the fort in time, had it not been for a certain incident. For Uristbomrek was not only a home for deer, but for the occassional werewolf, too. And when the next of the damn things started prowling the area, the dwarves initially thought to simply keep clear of it. However, after a spectacularly stupid dog tried to eat the beast's leg, it tore the animal to one pound pieces and went crazy.

    Mokum was still hunting deer. He hadn't become any tougher, or faster, or stronger. Nor had he learned to swing his axe or sneak around. He had no armor at all. And yet he was the first to stand in the way of the horrible, bloodthirsty monster. At first he screamed and tried to flee, but suddenly something happened in his head. Suddenly that feeble, only marginally tough dwarf, turned around, and there was great resolve in his eyes. The werewolf screamed and hurled itself at him, and he met it with equal fury.

    Even though his leg was torn to shreds from the thigh immidiately, he did not fall or give in to pain. He smashed his axe, stained with the blood of a dozen deer, to the skull of the beast. The heavy blade did not find take against the unnatural, steely bone, but it served to draw blood. And to anger the thing. With a scream of rage it crushed his other leg from the knee like a twig. Mokum did not faze, but hit struck back, this time into a shoulder. There was a crack, and the lycanthrope yowled in pain and anger. Another blow struck it at hip, and again it flinched. It grabbed Mokum by his broken leg and hurled him to the ground, bruising his neck.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)17:32 No.2921809

    Gandalf's thoughts as he falls: "I must use every scrap of knowledge and every anc... hey, sweet engravings dude! ... ient power at my command to win this battle."
    >> Masterwork Bastard !DOD3/eopFI 11/01/08(Sat)17:33 No.2921814
    Mokum's vision was swimming in red haze. His fingers were beginning to slip around the axe, but still, raising himself higher with his free hand, he shouted at his foe and taunted him. And the werewolf came, smelling blood. Mokum hacked at it, but his axe slipped past and he almost fell over. The Werewolf grabbed him by his free hand, twisting. A sickening crunch, and the limb fell to the side.

    Mokum was in pain, his lifeblood draining to the ground and his mind going numb. But, in the grasp of the beast, he spied his chance. And with the last scream of fury, he drove his axe forwad, under the werewolf's jaw and into its throat. The weapon hit deep, cutting through the windpipe and all the way into the spine.

    Gurgling in horror and grasping its throat, the werewolf stumbled back, dropping the maimed Mokum down. He forced himself to stay conscious as the beast fell, drinking in the sight. This was his, nobody else's. His alone. He had a value. He was more than some pitiful beast.

    And so it was, that upon seeing Mokum's bravery, his comrades rescued him, and quickly brought him to a bed. They all pondered what they had seen, and never again they said a bad word about the dwarf. He never became a master axedwarf or a mighty warrior with arms of steel, but there was something about him. He married and sired ten children. He took up the trade of an engraver, his artworks a stuff of legends in themselves. And his tale was told from a dwarf to a dwarf: even the most feeble dwarf can do great things, should he just have the resolve.

    tl;dr: a dabbling axedwarf-hunter killed a werewolf after having his both legs maimed and being nearly unconscious and the damn thing hadn't yet taken even a wound. And after that becoming a father of ten and a legendary engraver.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)17:40 No.2921831
    >I am well aware of /tg/'s "love" for DF threads,

    I'm curious, does DF stand for Dumb Fuck?
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)17:41 No.2921839
    rolled 3 = 3

    Only in your case.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)17:48 No.2921858
    So this goblin army comes up on my fort, right? No problem, activate a couple squads and mainly wait for my Champions to deal with them. But then those FUCKING RHESUS MAC-

    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)17:53 No.2921868
    This anonymouss knows of the MOST legendary of all df threads.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)18:02 No.2921893
    Is there any way to make the fortress guards actually do something useful? One of mine just stood there and let a goblin ambush force walk right past him (they didn't even try to attack him!) and into my fort.
    Needless to say, the invaders were killed by more reliable dwarves and the guard was executed immediately thereafter for treason.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)18:02 No.2921895
    Immovable Rhesus Macque
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)18:02 No.2921898
         File :1225576970.png-(851 KB, 1094x678, 1224071546230.png)
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    Quick question.

    I'm sick of worlds with a single giant continent and some tiny oceans in DF. I want a true world, with dozens of islands and four or five continents and a giant ocean!

    How do I achieve this in worldgen without fucking up starting locations or something like that?

    I don't care that I will not be able to travel everywhere with my adventurer, I play only in Fortress-Mode.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)18:03 No.2921904
         File :1225577035.jpg-(664 KB, 740x700, rhesus macaque.jpg)
    664 KB
    >> Eponymous Rex !!taqDd9490Ip 11/01/08(Sat)18:07 No.2921923
    Armok save us! FLEE!
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)18:13 No.2921942
         File :1225577598.png-(36 KB, 536x514, 1224646915903.png)
    36 KB
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)18:14 No.2921945
    Fucking awesome
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)18:17 No.2921958
    Not the same anon, but I want to know the answer to this too. I would love me some island fortressing.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)18:19 No.2921963

    well, we're fucked
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)18:25 No.2921981

    Another anon here. I tried this with doing more oceans in worldgen, but for some reason I end up with a lot of rejects - apparently, there's not enough room for civilizations if you start with 8 oceans. Ah well.

    >> Masterwork Bastard !DOD3/eopFI 11/01/08(Sat)18:25 No.2921983

    Fuck you. I know the words of power to make short work of your ilk; v, p, ctrl+A to the nearest dorf.

    Burn, fucker, burn.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)18:27 No.2921988
    Calling in all drawfags! Calling in all drawfags!
    We're in dire need of art depicting the glorious history of the "Hamlet of Tyranny".
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)18:27 No.2921990
    Then why do you care what the world looks like?
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)18:32 No.2922008

    Hard to say... it's the setting, atmosphere, that kind of stuff. I just like it more that way. Plus, I want to travel around one day, after building some big cities, with an adventurer, doing sightseeing and stuff, and then it would be nice to run around in a beautiful world like that.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)18:33 No.2922011

    Even though it's fake it's still a good story.

    I second this.
    >> The OP !TL7Ln/tVTQ 11/01/08(Sat)18:45 No.2922052
    WOW. I made this thread last night and it's still here and being discussed and added to?! And this pic... >>2919429 My god I love you, /tg/. But, I see I have a few things to address with both trolls and naysayers.

    First off, as I said above, I am the OP of this thread. However, I logged off last night after posting >>2917801
    So, whoever posted >>2919458 can see me after class.

    As for the validity of the traps not hurting the demons as I wrote - I'm busted. But not intentionally. I myself am not as intimately familiar with DF as my friend or the bulk of fa/tg/uys here. What I mistook as blade traps cutting down the demons couldn't have been anything but spear traps, which apparently will fuck them up good.

    As to the rest of the story with its peculiar coincidences (Ashmalice's name, the artifact being a memento, etc...) those I stand by. The only part I imbelished was the fact that Endless Death of Tears had a picture of the blacksmith's wife on it. It DID have a picture of glass on it - which as written she was a glass maker, but not her picture.

    And as for the story as a whole? Epic ending and all? I stake my neckbeard on its authenticity.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)18:47 No.2922065
    Congratulations. I think you have made the first DF thread to hit autosage. Well done, OP.
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)18:52 No.2922080
    >spear traps
    i think you mean spike traps. spears only hurt demons if weilded in combat. no demosn takes damage from a trap except drown or spike
    >> Anonymous 11/01/08(Sat)19:00 No.2922126
    inb4 404

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